Chapter Text
Sapnap sat at the kitchen table, lazily shoveling hastily made salad into his mouth as he scrolled through twitter.
Dream walked out of his room, shirtless, as he stretched out and yawned.
He passed Sapnap and ruffled his hair up a bit, Sapnap leaning up into the brief touch and turning to his friend.
"Tired?" Sapnap asked, gesturing to his phone. "It's like 2 o'clock."
Dream rolled his eyes as he opened the fridge and pulled out the milk, taking a long swig from the jug and putting it back, Sapnap making a face at that but not saying anything.
"Shut up, you're hardly any better than I am, you wake up at like 1 am." Dream said and started to make a sandwich.
"Besides, I was on George's stream late, so fuck off." Dream grumbled and Sapnap nodded, trying to ignore the small flame of jealousy that burned his heart.
Dream finished making his food and sat next to Sapnap, leaning against him tiredly and slowly munching on his sandwich and that fire was doused instantly as Sapnap melted into his side.
"What're you looking at?" Dream asked and Sapnap shrugged, making Dream bounce a bit in his spot as he readjusted. "Just Twitter. Lots of art based off Karl's stream yesterday." He answered and Dream hummed.
"Yeah, everyone seems to love when I absolutely destroyed you in Madversecity." Dream said and Sapnap rolled his eyes, his one hand dropping his fork and playfully hitting his stomach.
"Okay Mr. Pander-Central. If you didn't keep making karlnap, skephalo and dnf jokes every five seconds, maybe the rest of us would've had a chance." Sapnap argued and Dream just started to laugh uncontrollably.
"Pandering wins." Dream said easily and Sapnap just laughed in response. "You're so stupid. You know half the fandom is genuinely convinced that you and George are dating, right?" Sapnap teased and Dream smiled.
"What if we are?" Dream said and Sapnap stared at him for a moment, the match inside him relighting quickly before he huffed out and it extinguished. "No, I know you two aren't. And besides, if you were, I'd like to think you'd tell me." Sapnap said and took a long sip from his water and Dream hummed.
"Yeah, I would." Dream said and Sapnap felt pride flare through his chest at that.
"Anything planned for today?" Sapnap asked after a moment of silence, finishing up the rest of his salad. "Nah, Ranboo has a stream later but I don't know if it's lore or not, so most likely no. I think Qauckity has one planned but not until way late." Dream mumbled and nuzzled his tired head into Sapnap's shoulder a bit more, the sandwich discarded.
"Me neither. Punz wanted to play Valorant again but we've been on like an eight day stream streak." Sapnap told him and tilted his head so it rested on Dream's.
"Lazy day, then?" Dream asked with a smile, tilting up to look at Sapnap, his dirty blonde hair was still ruffled from his sleep and his green eyes looked up at him, pleading. Sapnap glanced away, face growing warm and nodded. "Yeah." he replied and Dream smiled.
"Wanna cuddle while watching bullshit cheesy romance movies?" Dream mumbled, breath tickling Sapnap's cheek and he huffed out with a smile.
"Fuck yeah."
After Sapnap put away all their lunch stuff and cleaned up their mess, he walked into their shared living room, where Dream laid on the couch.
Once the taller man noticed his presence, he opened his arms with a wide smile, Sapnap laughing as he walked over and flopped next to him, Dream wrapping himself around him like a koala.
"You're so stupid." Sapnap said as he leaned back into Dream's hold, sighing out peacefully as Dream buried his face in the back of his neck. "Tell that to all my 1000 IQ plays," Dream shot back, lips brushing against Sapnap's neck as he spoke and Sapnap's ears turned red.
"Whatever, what is this?" Sapnap nodded at the T.V., which was playing some random movie.
"10 Things I Hate About You." Dream mumbled and Sapnap laughed. "How is that a romance movie?" Sapnap joked and Dream hummed, arms tightening around Sapnap's stomach and he lifted one of his legs to rest on top of Sapnap's.
"It's based off a Shakespeare thing, The Taming Of The Shrew. The two girls are sisters and the younger one can't date anyone until the oldest does so the guy that the youngest girl, her name is like Becky, Bianca?, I think. Anyway, the guy Bianca likes tries to get her older sister, Kat to date someone so he, like, pays the school bad boy to go on a date with her. Kat starts liking Patrick, that's the school bad boy by the way. Later on though, Kat finds out about the deal and gets mad at him but Patrick actually ended up liking her so he tries to get her back and stuff." Dream explained and Sapnap could feel his smile against him.
"I kind of really like it." Dream added and Sapnap chuckled. "Kind of? Sounds interesting though." Sapnap commented and Dream giggled softly, holding him tighter. "Yeah, it's a good movie. It kind of gives off the same vibes as Teenage Dirtbag by Wheezer."
Sapnap moved to place his hand over where Dream's rested on his stomach. "Have you seen this movie a lot?" Sapnap asked and Dream nodded. "Yeah, a few times." Dream mumbled and hummed again. "I'm sleepy."
"How late were you up?" Sapnap's voice grew softly as Dream clung to him. "Well I did the feral boys stream with you guys until like 9. Then Ranboo streamed some stuff and I talked with him for a bit and George started streaming after so I was on there until I think like 3, and then I was finishing up editing on that one video for the main channel."
Sapnap turned around a bit in his arms to look Dream in the face and giggled at their closeness. "That's so long dude." Sapnap said and Dream buried his face in his neck again, clutching him tighter. "Mmmm, I had work." Dream insisted.
"Yeah, but no one's gonna like a Dream that's all mumbling and tired on stream." Sapnap stated and Dream just softly groaned. "Well, you like mumbly and tired me, right?" Dream asked, words hardly separating from each other as his words slurred.
"Yeah man." Sapnap said and Dream just smiled and huffed again. "Yay," Dream responded and Sapnap chuckled. "Just sleep dude," Sapnap urged and Dream whined.
"Will you stay cuddling with me?" Dream asked and Sapnap nodded. "Sure dude." Dream smiled and hummed again, burying his face even more into Sapnap and didn't respond again.
After a few moments when Sapnap was sure that Dream was asleep, he pressed a gentle kiss to his head, feeling adrenaline rush through him at the action and risk of being caught.
Sapnap felt horrible for this, felt like he was taking advantage of Dream in a way, having these.... these feelings he didn't even know how to name them and laying here with Dream in his arms.
He doesn't know how long he's felt like this, just knows that he's recently come to terms with them when George called him a month ago.
"How's living with Dream?" George had asked after ending his stream that day. Sapnap spun around in his chair, facecam on on the discord call as he turned to glance at George. "A little different than I thought, but y'know, pretty normal." Sapnap had told him. "He's a really loud snorer."
George had laughed at that, typing on his keyboard and glancing off to the side before turning back to Sapnap. "What's different?" George asked and Sapnap shrugged, stopping his spinning to lean on his desk.
"I dunno. One I guess is seeing him all the time. He'll just be laying on the couch and stuff and he's just there. Y'know?" Sapnap said and George laughed. "Well if he wasn't, then I'd be worried." George joked.
"He's also super affectionate. Like, I know he is with words, but I didn't think he'd be all cuddly and stuff." Sapnap added.
"Is that bad?" George had asked, head tilted at the camera and Sapnap shook his head. "No, I kinda like it. It's kind of cute when he's all cuddly and shit." He replied and George raised an eyebrow, grinning.
"Cute?" He'd asked, teasingly and Sapnap nodded. "Yeah, y'know, like when you see like, I dunno a dog and go "oh that's cute!" Like that." Sapnap said and George laughed a bit.
"Sap, have you ever wanted to kiss Dream before?" George asked and Sapnap had turned bright red at the question. "What?" He asked and George just nodded.
"Have you?" George questioned and Sapnap leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You're avoiding the question."
"No I'm not!"
"Then have you?"
Sapnap looked at his door, a few packing boxes sat in front of it, his texan flag sprawled across as he'd finally gotten it from his house after he and Dream decided that living together worked out.
"I dunno, maybe?" Sapnap said, voice quiet.
"You don't know if you've thought about kissing him?" George deadpanned.
"Well, I mean like what are you implying?" Sapnap shot back.
"I'm not asking what you feel or anything. I'm just simply asking if you've ever thought about kissing him. On the lips, cheek, anything." George explained and Sapnap went silent.
George didn't speak as Sapnap thought about how to answer, shaking back and forth in his chair as his head tilted up.
"Yeah," Sapnap mumbled, voice hardly audible to George. "Okay, only once? A few times?" George asked.
"Coupl'a times, yeah." Sapnap mumbled, playing with something on his desk. "What does that mean?"
"Doesn't have to mean anything," George said. "It's for you to think about, not me." Sapnap slowly nodded, staring off to the side, frowning a bit.
"Anyway, did you see the new Among Us map coming out in like a month?" George had then changed the subject and Sapnap was thankful for it.
And he hasn't stopped thinking about their conversation since then.
Sapnap had sat for hours upon hours at night just dreaming of kissing Dream, hugging him, sharing their bed, just romantic things that crossed the line of only friends and Sapnap didn't know what it meant.
He thinks he's always felt like this, he remembers 15 year old him smiling and giggling on late calls with Dream. He remembers trying to sneak wifi from his neighbors as he was desperate to call Dream whenever he wanted. He remembers when his dad smashed his computer set and he cried to Dream and the other comforted him and Sapnap told him he wanted to marry him.
He knows he's felt like this for a while, months, years, as long as he's known Dream.
He just didn't know what "this" even was.
Sapnap opted for ignoring trying to name the feeling and closed his eyes as he buried his face in soft, gentle curly blonde hair.
He could just stay here instead of trying to figure his shit out. That was fine.
That was completely fine, right?
He felt his eyes grow heavy and drop close as warmth flooded his senses and Dream held him like he was a lifeline.
The hours passed and eventually Sapnap's eyes opened again, the room completely dark save for the blue light coming from the static of the T.V.
Sapnap squirmed a bit and Dream huffed. "Morning." He greeted and Sapnap stopped, leaning down to look at Dream. "Hi, what time is it?" Sapnap asked and Dream looked down at the phone he had resting on Sapnap's chest.
"Like 11 pm." He replied and Sapnap groaned.
"My sleep schedule is so fucked." He whined and Dream chuckled. "Welcome to the life of a streamer. I think Quackity wants us on his stream right now but I didn't want to wake you up."
Sapnap leaned back and untangled himself from Dream, the other making a half whine noise as the room became cold.
"Yeah, I'll be on, I just need a moment." Sapnap said and Dream sat up. "'Kay, I'll tell Quackity we'll join in a bit. I need to get a shirt on anyway." Dream said and stretched. "I also ordered some Chipotle so you wouldn't be hungry when you woke up. It should be here like in twenty minutes or something."
"Sweet." Sapnap said and once they were both ready and more awake, they departed to their own rooms, joining Quackity's call.
"We're popping off!" Quackity shouted when they joined. "Woah, Latenap and Tardywastaken much? Even George was here first." Karl teased.
"Dream was being all clingy and sleepy. He forced me to watch a rom-com." Sapnap faked whined, knowing the fans ate up anything he said when they talked about living together.
"You didn't even watch it, you were knocked out when I woke up again." Dream shot back.
"Shut up, you two!" Quackity interrupted in an over exaggerated british accent, George laughing as he set up their next game.
"Do we want a Quiplash or Split The Room?" George asked. "Quiplash is so overrated, man." Sapnap stated and they began Split The Room.
They all joked around, Sapnap eating his food once it had arrived and just enjoying his friend's company.
They were well ways into the stream when of course, as always, they all started making ship jokes.
"Okay, okay, no, but listen," Dream said as they were doing Quiplash after a long amount of fighting. "How is "GeorgeNotFound's ass" NOT pandering?" Dream yelled and Quackity erupted into laughter.
"Quackity it was literally your rule to not pander!" Dream continued arguing, the law student cackling even louder as his answer won 78% with a quiplash.
"You're a sore loser Dream!" Quackity yelled and Sapnap covered his mouth. "Dream, just pander." Karl said and the next round began.
"Ah, what the hell." Karl mumbled and they all started writing answers, Sapnap having fun laughing with his friends and glad for the distraction from having to name the feeling inside him.
"Three words that will drive you to irrational anger," Karl read and two answers popped up which sent half the group and chat into a laughing fit.
"Dreamnap, Quacknotfound and Dreamnoblade." Karl read through muffled laughter and Sapnap forced himself to laugh along with the group. Karl wheezedout laughter, struggling to breathe and try to red the next one but failed.
"Dream cheated, the vlog was fake and dreamnap!" Quackity read the second answer, cackling as well.
"Why'd you both-" Karl tried to calm himself, squeaky laughter erupting through the mic. "Put dreamnap?"
The first answer, Dream's, won and George groaned. "Aw come on! I thought you guys liked the vlog jokes!" George whined.
"The dreamnap jokes are because everyone knows dnf is superior." Dream boasted and Sapnap inhaled deeply, trying to will himself not to get upset over a stupid joke.
"Aw, c'mon Dream! You were just cuddling with me!" Sapnap played off and the others laughed. "Caught in 4k, Dream." Quackity teased, the british accent back again.
"Dream, would you choose Sapnap over me?" George asked, dramatic. "He's the only man who could ever replace me, it seems." Sapnap swallowed as he stared harshly at his screen.
He heard a discord notification pop up and turned his head, opening his dm's to George.
I am so sorry
He sighed and quickly messaged back
nothing to b sorry 4
So what, maybe Dream did prefer George over him. Maybe everything was just always an act and Dream was just clingy and Sapnap is really getting upset over a fucking Jackbox answer right now.
But all the feelings inside him that have been there for years started to swell up in the center of his chest, eyes staring at his screen as the round continued and Dream and George flirted as they always do, driving their fans up the wall.
He listened as the two joked, George making it almost too obvious he wasn't playing as into it as usual, but the other didn't seem to pick up on it.
The swirling of feelings, of this, whatever it was in his chest got hotter and hotter, setting a light a fire inside him and burning him from the inside out.
"Hey, I'm probably gonna leave after this round." Sapnap said suddenly, interrupting the conversation that had been happening.
"Hm, alright we need to make this a good round lads!" Quackity shouted. "The best round! We need to pop off!" George added.
"YEAHHHHHHH!" Karl yelled and there was the telltale sound of him kicking his chair and Sapnap chuckled at that.
"Crackhead Karl arc?" Sapnap joked as the next Quiplash game started.
Chat started asking if Sapnap was fine and telling him to take care of himself and it started to frustrate him a bit. Thankfully, Quackity dismissed them and moved on with the game.
He was fine, he was fine, he was just being overdramatic is all. They didn't need to know he was sitting there having a borderline panic attack over some stupid joke between his two friends.
George, Quackity, Dream and Karl were all laughing and joking as they shared their answers, Sapnap staring blankly at his screen, their laughter becoming nothing but an empty buzz in his head.
Words didn't register, only humming noises filled his ears, the screen became only a bright white light before him, filling his hazy vision and his jaw locked.
Stop it.
Stop zoning out, it's literally no big deal, get over yourself.
His chest burned so harshly, the heat inside him so hot it felt like ice, he shivered in his chair, hands gripping the sides of his gaming chair.
His chest heaved as he tried to force air into his lungs, it felt like there was a weight resting on him when his lungs refused to inflate with the fresh air in his room, his window open and a soft wind blowing in occasionally.
The room felt like it was spinning, or was he spinning? It felt like the room was getting smaller, or was he getting bigger? His vision was going, or did the lights just go out?
Sapnap was panicking, he didn't know where he was, where anything was, he just hated this feeling.
The only thing he knew was the jealousy burning inside him, he only knew he wanted Dream, he didn't know how, he didn't know what to call it besides want. He wants Dream and he hates himself for it.
There was weight on his shoulder, was that even real? He couldn't tell, the weight setting the fire to spread even hotter through him and he shivered even more.
The buzzing turned to words briefly, very briefly, just for him to hear his name being called.
He blinked, he felt his eyes getting wet, tears falling, pouring down his cheeks.
He heard muffled speaking next to him, a goodbye, some clicking and the bright light went away, the weight back on his shoulder and he was spinning again.
A weight rested on his face and he jumped at the suddenness of the feeling.
His vision cleared and he looked around the room, noting it was still the same size as it was before, it wasn't spinning, it wasn't hot, there was no fire, it wasn't shrinking. His computer screen was off and he turned to face in front, meeting Dream's concerned gaze, a hand on his cheek wiping away tears.
"You with me?" Dream asked, eyes scanning over Sapnap. Sapnap swallowed harshly and nodded, blinking back tears again. He tried to open his mouth to speak but his voice didn't work.
"Can't talk?" Another nod and Dream sighed softly.
"Can you stand for me?" Dream asked and Sapnap went to move, still shivering, but his weight refused to lift up and he let out a gentle sob. Dream hooked his arm under Sapnap's arms and lifted him up, practically carrying his younger friend to his bed, setting him down so he laid on his back.
Sapnap turned and curled into him, sobbing gently now, his cries filling the silent room and Dream ran his hands through his hair.
"What happened? Wanna talk about it, or do you just want to stay here for a bit?" Dream asked and Sapnap tapped him twice, signaling to his friend he wanted to just cuddle.
"Okay, do you want me to talk? It doens't have to be about this, I can talk about random things to distract you." Dream suggested.
"Please," Sapnap cried, voice soft and cracking with tears.
"Okay, so you know how I was late coming home from grocery shopping yesterday?" Dream asked and Sapnap nodded to show he was listening as he rested his head on Dream's chest, listening to his heart beat as he spoke, voice vibrating throughout him.
"So on my way into the store, I saw a cat, and this was a reallyyyyy tiny cat so naturally I just bent down to pet it and it went to bite me and I screamed. Some kid heard me and started laughing so hard he fell off his bike and then some lady across the street saw and panicked and slipped and fell down her stairs. Of course I got really worried and went to go help her, but she was fine and just laughing at me. Except her laugh was like a witch's evil cackle so some little girl passing by started crying and her mom was trying to get her to calm down but it wasn't helping. And it was basically just a big domino effect." Dream said and Sapnap huffed through his sobs.
"You're ridiculous." Sapnap said and Dream smiled. "I care for animals, excuse me."
He shuffled a bit so Sapnap could lay more comfortably on him and rested a hand on his back. "Feeling better?" He asked and Sapnap nodded a bit, wiping at a few remaining tears.
"Yeah, yeah, the room stopped spinning, it's all big again. I'm not still shaking, right?" Sapnap asked, voice soft with tears.
"No, you stopped a bit ago." Dream said and rubbed circles on Sapnap's back. "Wanna talk about it?" Dream asked.
"No, I don't- I don't know how well you'd understand. I might have to talk to George later." Sapnap mumbled.
Dream made a strange sound. "Asking George for help? Are you sure you're okay?" Dream joked lightheartedly.
"He's helped with this before." Sapnap mumbled and the hand on his back stilled. "This has happened before?" Dream asked, making a confused hum in his chest and Sapnap tilted his head to look at him, his fingers playing with Dream's hoodie strings.
"Well, this, not entirely. But what I was upset about," Sapnap swallowed harshly as he realized how dumb he was sounding and cleared his throat. "George is a good therapist."
Dream's hand moved from his back up to play with his hair. "Why haven't you told me about this?" Dream asked and Sapnap sniffled, hands stilling and resting on Dream's chest and he moved so Dream couldn't stare at him anymore.
"It was just... The first time I freaked out, George was on call with me. Then it just became a habit I guess. And now I don't think I can actually tell you." Sapnap said. "I'm sorry, I know that sounds bad but I'm not like... Hiding anything from you."
Dream hummed again and slightly scratched Sapnap's head, making the younger man lean up into his touch. "Yeah, I get it, I guess. I just don't like that I don't know how to help."
Sapnap shifte again so one arm was thrown over DReam's stomach and his head still laid on his chest, leaning up at him.
"This helps." Sapnap admitted, hating how wrong this felt but how much he needed it. Call him selfish, but he wanted so much more of this.
Dream shifted them both so Sapnap was turned around, Dream burying his face into him so Sapnap was a little spoon, Dream practically laying on him as he wrapped his legs and arms around him tightly. Sapnap leaned back into the hold and smiled.
"This helps more." Sapnap added and Dream smiled against him. "Good."
Neither know how long they laid there for, every now and then they drifted in and out of sleep, too awake from sleeping almost for 24 hours straight now to actually stay unconcious. Eventually though, they got up with the sun filtered into the white room, making it almost blinding and impossible to ignore.
Dream sat up, Sapnap catching himself before he whined at the loss of touch, and shook out his arm.
"I've gotta finish up editing the Manhunt Final Finale Rematch, but then we can go out and have lunch and shit if you want? We'll go wherever you want." Dream promised, voice soft and full of care and Sapnap hated how he gravitated to it.
"That sounds awesome." Sapnap said and sat up. "I'll talk to George then, while you're doing that."
Dream's face flashed with something for a moment, an unknown emotion that Sapnap was too tired to try and label.
"Okay, if you finish before I do, just knock on my door." Dream said and slipped out of the room.
Sapnap felt so cold now that Dream was gone, shivering in the cold Florida morning air and shrugged on a hoodie he found sitting on one of his chairs, laughing gently when he realized it was Dream's merch.
He pulled his gaming chair back and sat down, leaning back as he messaged George he needed to call whenever he was free. George informed him he was busy with a stream but that he'd be done soon.
Sapnap then decided to check out Quackity's VOD from the night before, just to see what happened after.
He slowly moved through the timestamps only to find that sometime after he and Dream had left, they ended. Sapnap felt guilt ripple through him when he realized how hard it must've been for the others to continue and hit play, headphones plugged in as he watched the screen.
"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me!" Karl yelled on the screen. "Can dnf jokes be banned?"
"No! Suck it sore loser!" Dream had laughed back. "Sapnap just ratioed you."
The video went silent for a moment and Quackity's eyes scanned his screen. "I thought he was on deafen but he's not. Sapnap, you there?"
No answer came as his friends all went silent as well. Sapnap clenched and unclenched his hands as he watched Quackity's face grow concerned, just for him to mask it to the audience.
There was the sound of someone standing and a door opening and closing.
"Sapnap?" Dream's voice came, but this time the mic sounded differently, he was in his room.
"Okay guys, Sapnap just fell asleep at his desk like a doofus, I'm gonna get him to bed, see you guys later." Dream said and then left the call.
Quackity coughed and clapped his hands. "Georgenotfound arc?" Quackity tried to joke but the three in the call were very obviously worried.
"Okay guys, I think that'll probably be it for today. Sorry to end the stream early, I'm gonna raid Ranboo but go check out Foolish's stream as well, he's doing a fucking insane build right now." Quackity yelled. "AHHHHHHHH!" Karl screamed, ever the over dramatic as Quackity ended the stream.
Sapnap sighed and leaned back in his chair, opening Twitter as George hadn't ended his current stream yet.
There was a lot of @'s to him, asking if he was okay, random fans concerned about him and he just tweeted out saying he was sleepy yesterday and sighed, checking on George's stream to see him waving at the camera and he quickly opened his discord.
Moments later, George finally called him and he unplugged his head phones so he could lean back in his chair without having to stay near his desk
"Hey," Sapnap greeted. "Hi," George greeted back and turned his camera on to look at Sapnap, the other following suit.
"So, what happened?" George asked and Sapnap played with one of his keys on his keyboard. "You mean yesterday?" Sapnap asked, voice soft and scared as he spoke to his friend.
"Yeah. I know Dream said you fell asleep but what really happened?" George asked.
"I dunno," Sapnap inhaled deeply and took the key out, playing with it in his hands now. "It like- I just zoned out. I couldn't hear or see anything, it was just this like, buzz in my ear and my chest felt on fire."
"Was it 'cause of the jokes?" George asked and Sapnap huffed out gently, staring harshly off to the side. "That's stupid," Sapnap said. "It's stupid cause yeah. Like I know you guys were just joking and shit but, It got to me. I don't know why."
"Well, it's cause you like him." George stated and Sapnap looked up, eyes wide. "I don't-" "Sapnap." George's voice was stern and Sapnap held his gaze through the screen.
"I tried to give you time to realize it for yourself, but you like him. You're in love with Dream." George claimed and Sapnap felt his chest get heavy again.
"Isn't-" Sapnap cleared his throat. "That's wrong though."
"What?" George furrowed his brows.
"I don't, no, I can't love Dream cause that's wrong. Right?" Sapnap said, nervous as he shifted in his seat and tried to even out his breathing. "He's my best friend and I've been living with him for over two months and we've known each other for so long and that's wrong to love him."
"It's not wrong," George reassured. "That just sounds like a love story to me. Falling in love with your childhood best friend."
Sapnap shook his head. "I don't even know if I like boys, George." Sapnap's voice was urgent.
"You don't have to know. You like Dream. Why put a label on that?" George was trying to be encouraging but Sapnap just shook his head.
"But that doesn't make any sense. Why just him?" Sapnap asked and put the keyboard key back in its place.
"You tell me. What is it you like about Dream? What're things you've noticed about him?" George crossed his arms and leaned back.
"Well, he's," Sapnap inhaled. "He's a big dork. Like Jesus Christ he's the biggest doofus I know. But he also cares a lot about just everything. He cares about his fans and friends, he'd do anything for us if it means we could be happy. He's donated and gifted so much to us, even off stream so you know he's not just like, doing it for clout. He treats everything with so much care, even Patches. Dude, he spoils Patches so much."
George smiled as his friend rambled, leaning to rest against his hand.
"Anytime I get upset, even way back when we were kids, he'd be there to comfort me. When my dad smashed my pc he helped me calm down and even paid half of the price to get a new one, back when he only worked at that stupid gas station. Dream always puts others before him and y'know, sometimes it's worrying. He wakes up at godforsaken hours just to be on other's streams and created a stupid minecraft server just so other people could get boosted in popularity. And he's so fucking gorgeous." Sapnap sighed and leaned back, staring at his ceiling.
"And you don't love him?" George asked, voice a bit sarcastic and Sapnap's face flushed.
"I don't-" "How would you describe me, Sapnap?" George asked, a teasing smile on his face. "Would you go as in detail about me as you would Dream? Would you describe Karl or Quackity with as much detail as you just did Dream?"
Sapnap was silent and his eyes burned a hole into his screen.
"I love him," Sapnap's voice was quiet but George heard him.
"You're in love with him," George quickly corrected.
"I'm in love with him." Sapnap repeated.
"God," He huffed and laughed gently to himself, feeling tears prick his eyes. "God, I'm a mess."
"No, you're not. You're just normal." George claimed. "Are you gonna tell him?"
"No," Sapnap's response was instant and George blinked. "I'm- no, no because then he'll just send me back and I don't-"
"Hey, hey, Dream isn't like that. Even if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, he wouldn't kick you out." George said and Sapnap started to sob a bit.
Sapnap thinks he briefly hears footsteps walking to his door, and stop, right outside, but he brushes it off, assuming the sound was from George's end as the other turned to his door and waved his mom off quickly.
"I know, I know he wouldn't but I'd probably run away if he didn't. I can't tell him, it would ruin, just, everything. Sure, he's Dream so he'd fucking feel obligated to stay my friend, but if I told him about this, then everything would change." Sapnap said, voice broken and desperate.
"You don't have to tell him," George said. "I won't tell him either, obviously, but if you hide this from him, he'll be heartbroken in the future."
"How? It's my life, not his." Sapnap was starting to get angry and George huffed at him.
"Sapnap, listen, I love you, but you can't just not ever tell him." George said, trying to calm his friend down.
"George," Sapnap's voice was mocking. "Listen, I love you too, but I'm not telling him."
The footsteps sounded again, but this time they were walking away and Sapnap just ignored it.
"You don't even know if he feels the same or not!" George was also getting angry, the two's moods tended to bounce off each other when they talked.
"Exactly!" Sapnap said, almost full on crying but he tried to hold it back. "Exactly, and let's say, oh hey, he does feel the same! Then what? We get together and either keep it a secret from everyone and the fans know we're hiding something and go way into depth and we're like, under radar? Or we tell them and everyone gets pissed because it's not you and Dream dating?"
George frowned and crossed his arms.
"You can't judge your happiness off of the possible future." George said and Sapnap leaned back.
"I just.... it's too much right now, George." Sapnap's voice was weak and tired despite how much sleep he'd gotten the day prior. "Anytime you two talk, or make the jokes, it feels like there's a fire burning inside me and killing me from the inside out. Anytime he talks to someone else, this jealousy just takes over and I get so angry and it's so stupid because he's not mine!"
"But he could be." George said.
"Shut up," he spoke so softly and shakily, sliding down in his chair.
"I'm trying to help, Sapnap." George insisted. "Dream could very well feel the same about you but you're just not telling him cause you're scared."
"Shut up."
"You're just making yourself feel worse by focusing on What If's that could go wrong."
"SHUT UP!" Sapnap slammed his hand down on the desk and George jumped.
"I get it, okay? I do, but you don't understand how I feel about this George! I'm not telling him, that's my decision." Sapnap said and George sighed.
"Fine, fine, sorry, I was just trying to help." George mumbled and Sapnap wiped away tears that had fallen. "I am sorry, Sapnap. I didn't mean to make you upset, I just care about you."
"Thank you, I guess. Sorry I'm so stupid about it. Those jokes yesterday set me off, I'm sorry." Sapnap mumbled.
"You're fine, you just started having to deal with all of this suddenly." George tried to comfort and when he got no response he sighed. "I'm gonna go now."
"Yeah, bye." Sapnap mumbled. "Bye," George's screen went dark and then his profile picture went away as he left the call.
Sapnap leaned back in his chair as his door slowly opened.
"Hey, you good? I heard you yelling." Dream was avoiding his gaze, shifting awkwardly in his spot and Sapnap flinched when he realized he'd been a bit loud.
"Yeah," He covered his face with his hands and ran them down his face. "Yeah, George is just an idiot. But we talked so I'm good now, I guess."
"It sounded more like you guys were fighting, especially at the end there." Dream said and Sapnap panicked for a moment, swallowing harshly and thinking back to the last of their conversation, relaxing a bit when he realized he hadn't given much away.
"Yeah, yeah, no George is just, he was trying to help me with this but I was getting mad at him and then, shit happened. We're fine now, don't worry." Sapnap told Dream who just nodded, still standing awkwardly in the door.
"Ready to go out to lunch then?" Dream asked and Sapnap grinned.
"Yeah, yeah, I just need to change so get out." Sapnap shooed and Dream fake pouted. "Aw, I can't watch?" He asked and Sapnap turned red, shoving him out as Dream laughed.
Sapnap shut his door and exhaled.
It was a lot. A lot that'd happened in the past few days alone and his head still hasn't wrapped around everything.
He needed time to think, he didn't want to tell Dream about this, this stupid little crush, but he didn't want to live in agony forever.
He doesn't think he could just stop loving Dream either, that's another problem.
Sapnap stood up straight and shook his head. No, no he wasn't gonna deal with this right now. No, he was going to go to lunch with Dream and behave like a normal person.
A normal person who was head over heels for his best friend.
Stop that.
This would be fine. It'll be fine.
Sapnap pushed away from the door to get dressed.
This is fine.