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Wiggling about in the pillows that he’d arranged as a back rest against the headboard, Jaskier made himself quite comfortable, tugging up one of the many blankets to get cozy. His laptop ended up propped up on a pillow in his lap, forever attached to the wall since the built-in battery had given up on life roughly two weeks after he’d gotten it. By the time the bedroom door got pushed open Jaskier had already opened up several different tabs, perusing without his husband.
“Just set it on the table, dear, it’s too hot right now.” He looked up to beam up at Geralt, who had been ever such a dear and made him some chamomile tea - just the right sort of relaxing thing to help clear his mind after work. Geralt even did as he asked, drink coaster included since he’d learned after he’d placed a glass directly onto the wooden bedside table once before - Jaskier had practically wept at the thought of his grandmum’s heirloom staining with a water ring.
With a rather wry look, Geralt had reminded him that his ‘grandmum’s heirloom’ had been bought straight off amazon, and Jaskier hadn’t talked to him the rest of that night.
So, thankfully for both of them, he’d remembered both coasters this time, and even remembered to bring Jaskier something to nibble on. It earned him a firm smooch to his cheek as he made room for himself on the bed, reaching an arm around Jaskier to tug him close and rub affectionate little circles onto his hip with his thumb.
“..what are you looking at?”
Oh, right. Jaskier blinked, turning back to his laptop. “Right, yes. I had actually been thinking-”
“This is the most boring porn you’ve ever pulled up.”
“It’s not porn, Geralt, honestly! You know I talked to you about that- hey.” He pouted when he saw the hint of a smirk on Geralt’s lips. The bastard was teasing him. That earned him a light swat to one of his lovely thick thighs. “I was thinking about spicing up our love life in a different way, and wanted your opinion on it. Didn’t know what you liked. Well, if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure what I like yet. There are so many options!”
“You don’t have the tits for that one,” Geralt drawled, nodding towards the lovely leather piece Jaskier had pulled up. It had been complete with crisscrossing leather straps (and had a lovely picture with other leathery suggestions in it, though it might be a bit too daring of them to jump that far into spiciness without testing the waters a bit first).
He pretended to be offended by that, gasping and putting one hand on his chest. “I’m wounded, Geralt, how could you?” After a second of staring at him blandly, Geralt leaned forward just long enough to peck the tip of his nose, making Jaskier scrunch it up and lose his faux offended expression. “Well...you’re not wrong. You do though.”
“No.”
“You’re no fun.” He stuck his tongue out just a little, but he knew better than to leave it out. Not if he wanted a productive conversation - Geralt was known to bite.
“But, you are right. I’m not actually too fond of the thought of a brazier; they look wonderful on some but I’m not sure they would on me. Shame most of the pieces are made for more feminine bodies...” A real shame, really, though at least there were more options for him nowadays than there used to be. Most places even let you custom order as the norm instead of paying a shit ton extra for it.
He flipped through some of the tabs, watching Geralt through his periphery as he went through a few more options. Lots with crisscrossing straps, some with a delicious amount of lace (something Jaskier loves in theory more than in practice; it itched his skin something fierce), a lovely array of colors ranging from teal to red to a blue that Geralt even pointed out reminded him of Jaskier’s eyes, to the ever safe and secure black that would look good on anyone.
Not that Jaskier wanted something black. He might look good in it, but he yearned for colors. Let his dearest husband be the one who stuck to a monochrome closet, he would be a rainbow of fashion until his dying breath.
“Oh, but what about this one?” He pulled up an image of a cute piece in the google search, grinning at the aptly named ‘homosexual lingerie queer men’ piece. “Pink ribbon! You could untie me with your teeth instead of just ripping my pants off for once.”
Geralt gave one of his unimpressed hmms but his eyes darkened a little with interest, which made Jaskier quickly mark this particular pieces as a definite ‘Maybe’. Plus it would make his butt looks very cute and fuckable, with the ribbons tying around his plump little cheeks. Oof, what a confidence boost that would be.
And the ribbons around the front were an even better bonus. The thought of wearing it under his clothes out in public, for only him and Geralt to know, made him squirm a little - better to think about that later, after they’d decided on a piece or two.
“Not getting it?”
“I want options, dear heart, have you ever known me to only get one?” Plus that one, as beautiful as it was, was also 90% lace. He needed a non-lacey option.
Geralt pushed him forward a little, helping him rearrange as he moved behind him, propping his chin on Jaskier’s shoulder to peer over it while he held him. Jaskier leaned back into him and tilted his head to let Geralt get cozy, sighing as Geralt left a few very soft, unassuming kisses to his jawline and neck.
“Oh I just love the name of some of these.” Some of them were quite...cringy, borderline uncomfortably so, with the way they were named. But it didn’t stop him from checking out some of them, and one in particular really grabbed his interests. “Geralt! The sleeves! Oh I just love them, isn’t this such a unique piece?”
This one, Jaskier was simply in love with. Red velvet, a cute tummy piece that had velvet ties attaching it to some lacy straps that wound around the upper thighs. He clicked through the pictures, even adoring the small, velvety bra piece, the cute bow in front absolutely tickling his interest. But the upper body piece is what really drew him in, the puffy shoulder pieces and the short sleeves and the tight collar, a zip up back and the open chest part - the style really was unique when weighed against all the others they’d flipped through, and really, the bow that went right above the thong like straps for the bottom sold it for him.
“Do you like it?” He wiggled his hips as he tilted his head to look at Geralt, a hopeful sort of pout on his lips. “Oh, tell me you love it, I know you love red on me.”
“Looks good on you,” Geralt agreed, squeezing him all tight just because he could, really looking at the lingerie piece, studying it with a thoughtful frown. “Not bad. Probably feels nice.”
“Much nicer than the full lace pieces for sure, though the lacy edges might still itch. Lots of things to untie, a few clasps, even a zipper - would make stripping more interesting.”
“Slower.”
“That’s why it’s called teasing, love, it’s supposed to be slow. Achingly so.”
Geralt nipped his neck, his eyes still on the laptop screen. “It...would suit you.”
“Really? You really think so?” He didn’t hide his giddy grin, not bothering saving this one for later, immediately adding it to his cart and checking out - Geralt had to rattle off their card information for him after he gave him a pitiful pout, whining over the thought of getting up and not being good enough with numbers to remember it all on his own.
With the order settled away, all Jaskier had left to do was pout over how long it would take to get there. Two to three weeks was entirely unfair and too far away. Geralt held him in his mourning, the laptop forgotten and tossed across the bed, Jaskier’s cheek squished against his husband’s glorious chest, their bed an absolute mess with the pillows crowded in their corner and the blanket almost pushed entirely off with how Jaskier was splayed across it.
“It’s not fair,” he whined, just to feel Geralt’s fingers work their way through his hair.
“You’re a mess,” was his husband’s only response, but as Jaskier looked up at him with forced tears in his eyes he knew what Geralt had really meant: he was his mess.