Himbo_Half_Orc
Recent works
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Getting his Pipes Fixed by Himbo_Half_Orc
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
09 Apr 2022
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Summary
Crack!Fic modern AU where Lambert and Aiden spend their date night watching terrible porn together to get them in the mood
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Jaskier's First Heat by Himbo_Half_Orc
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
08 Apr 2022
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Summary
When Jaskier had a panic attack brought on by the thought of going into heat for the first time, Geralt used Axii to try and calm him down. He then convinced himself that Jaskier's heat would be over faster if he took his knot whilst he was under. (DD:DNE)
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Summary
Lambert finds a cat and decides to keep it. He doesn't realise Aiden is cursed
Series
- Part 5 of Tumblr fics
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Encouragement by Himbo_Half_Orc for TinyThoughts
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
26 Feb 2022
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Summary
Aro Eskel, trying to be a good friend to Triss and encourage her to finally ask Yen out.
Series
- Part 11 of Aro fics
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A Trip to the Coast by Himbo_Half_Orc for bi_aragorn
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
25 Feb 2022
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Summary
A nice walk along the beach for best pals Jaskier & Geralt.
Series
- Part 10 of Aro fics
Recent series
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- Words:
- 2,115
- Works:
- 5
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- Words:
- 6,690
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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- Words:
- 1,664
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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Ace fics by Himbo_Half_Orc
Fandom The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf (2021), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
30 Oct 2021
- Words:
- 6,444
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 2,522
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 6
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
A chance remark reminds Henry Crawford to do the right thing, and ride to Everingham instead of staying in London to flirt with Maria Rushworth. As a result, there is nothing to prevent Edmund from marrying Mary Crawford, or Henry from continuing his pursuit of Fanny with more determination than ever.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,194
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 358
- Kudos:
- 2,075
- Bookmarks:
- 557
- Hits:
- 39,370
Bookmarked by Himbo_Half_Orc
17 Aug 2025
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The Perils of Love and Courtship by LadySesame
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
20 Apr 2023
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Summary
Lambert has never wanted an alpha, in fact, he would sooner call marriage a prison for omegas rather than some wondrous thing they all make it out to be. With a reputation for being uncivilized and downright venomous, he’s made his way through three marriage seasons, wanting nothing more than to be left alone to become a spinster.
Only one year remains in this bargain with his father; one more year and then this will all be nothing but a distant memory.
He had no reason to expect this season to be any different than the last three.
But then again, he could never have expected Aiden.
Series
- Part 2 of Witcher Regency au
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,175
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 359
- Kudos:
- 858
- Bookmarks:
- 130
- Hits:
- 13,493
Bookmarked by Himbo_Half_Orc
19 Feb 2023
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Preferable by DahliaVanDare
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
01 Jun 2023
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Summary
Lambert, nephew of King Vesemir, gets captured in battle. When it looks like he’s more likely to be executed then ransomed, Prince Aiden makes him an alternate offer: a marriage of convenience. It’s obnoxious how charismatic the prince is, but committing to spending the rest of his life with a funny, attractive man that he’s undeniably drawn to is preferable to death, right?
Bookmarked by Himbo_Half_Orc
11 Aug 2022
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Plan Me No Plans by DancingLassie
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
05 Mar 2022
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Summary
Aiden doesn’t know why he doesn’t simply tell Lambert that Vesemir is not, in fact, having a midlife crisis and shacking up with the shockingly young library volunteer. He knows that Vesemir is actually trying to present Jaskier to Geralt, neatly wrapped in a bow, so Vesemir can finally get that son-in-law he’s been angling for.
Aiden should just put Lambert out of his misery and tell him.
He doesn’t.
It’s much funnier to watch Lambert and his brothers work it out for themselves.
Series
- Part 3 of Matchmaker
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,752
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 577
- Kudos:
- 3,521
- Bookmarks:
- 307
- Hits:
- 33,048
Bookmarked by Himbo_Half_Orc
19 Mar 2022
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Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match by DancingLassie
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
21 Dec 2021
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Summary
The last thing Vesemir expected when he broke his hip (caused by slipping in his kitchen, of all things) was to meet the future love of Geralt’s life. Now all he had to do was subtly convince Geralt and Jaskier of the fact.
Series
- Part 1 of Matchmaker
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,043
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 1,220
- Kudos:
- 7,432
- Bookmarks:
- 1,310
- Hits:
- 64,977
Bookmarked by Himbo_Half_Orc
19 Mar 2022