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Sometimes, RK liked to imagine life without adults. Without monsters.
He liked to imagine a place where children could live without fear, where they could sleep in comfortable cushion beds, and they could read books, eat tasty food like macaroni and cheese that wasn't spoiled or chicken noodle soup without bugs in them.
He liked to fantasize about what a wonderful place that would be, where he could play on the seesaw as much as he wanted. He'd want to live in a world where he could swim in water and not think of that damned hideous woman, waiting in the depths, waiting to pull him deeper and deeper into the abyss where he could not breath, see, or scream.
He'd hear footsteps and remember those thin, dangly, monstrously and impossibly long arms that would reach out to him from half a room away. That wretched face—if you could even call it one—that seemed like it had no sense of empathy or compassion, but it could still feel emotions (RK swore he saw him sneer once or twice, almost like he enjoyed the act of catching children, as if it was a game to him). To RK, that almost made it feel worse, at least if he didn't have the brain capacity to feel things then he'd have an excuse, then RK could've conjured up a justifiable reason as to why he was subject to Roger's whims, why he locked him up in a cage, why he was almost tied up like a mummy and then put on a plate to be fed to the greedy humans.
But no. Roger was not an insentient entity. He knew how to feel. He felt pain, fear, happiness (in his own sort of way), just like anyone else. He just didn't care about what happened to the kids he wrapped up. And it seemed he felt a sort of joy when they tried to run, almost in a pity-like sense. Like he felt sorry for them, putting effort into actions that have meaningless results in the end.
RK was angry. Angry at Roger, angry at the chefs, at the Lady, at every customer on the Maw, at the world. Why did he have to live this way? This world is so, so cruel. Did he deserve to walk with a shackle on his ankle? To be constantly reminded of his birthplace, of his neverending torment? Even if they never see him again, he will always see them. Behind him, in the back of alleyways, around corners, in small puddles, in rooms where it's too dark to see.
He will never forget.
He hates it. It's so unfair. Life is so, so unfair. What did he do to deserve this? Why, why, why? He asks this to the sky every moonlit night. It never answers. It has no answer.
Luckily, he remembers less. He can barely picture their faces now. He is more focused on the present, on living. He needs to eat and drink, after all.
He is not alone anymore.
Mono and Six are occupying his mind nowadays. He is grateful for that.
They make him forget about everything—about the Maw, about his hatred for the world, about his desire to die. RK even forgets the weight of his shackle, which made so, so much noise. He doesn't have to worry about making noise anymore. He doesn't need to tip-toe on wood. He lets it creak, and takes it in. Sometimes, RK even has fun. Fun! He feels happy to be alive! He laughs with his friends, just two, only two, but that's enough for him. That's all that he needs.
The trio spend their days in the Pale City, hunting for food and exploring apartments. Mono likes to toy with the Viewers by messing with the television screens, making them awkwardly walk back and forth while Six watches (they think it's very funny for some reason). They all like it when it rains, but Six especially. They like to hop on puddles, walk on sidewalk cracks as if they were tightropes, and chase after various small animals (we don't talk about what happens after they catch them).
The group currently resides in one of the many apartments that occupy Pale City. The room even has a kitchen! None of them know how to cook, but.... One can try, at least?
Six is out wandering to find food. She's... hungry . She's pretty good at hunting by herself, and she doesn't want to bother RK or Mono with the sight of her... feasting on said food, so... Sometimes she wanders off. Never without alerting someone, though. The two boys were very reluctant to let her go at first, but Six replied,
"I'll come back. Trust me."
And she always did.
Sometimes, Mono would give a time limit. "No longer than an hour!" He demanded. (Really, he just missed the sight of Six's hooded raincoat, and he was kind of needy, so he preferred to have the group stay together at all times.) Six always obliged, and she always came back in under the time requirement.
RK and Mono sat—or rather, laid—on the wooden floor. It was a quiet night, and even they could hear the sounds of their breaths, coming out at a constant, slow rhythm. Quite a peculiar night for Pale City.
RK turned his head towards the bagged boy. (Seriously, he still wears that?)
"What would you do if there were no monsters?"
He didn't reply immediately, but instead slowly turned over to RK's position, facing him.
"What would I do?"
"Yeah, I mean... when you grow up. Like a job. Like how adults do jobs?"
"A job? Like... a teacher? Or a doctor?"
"Yeah, like those. What'd you wanna be?"
Mono pondered a bit, and looked up at the ceiling. He'd never thought about those sorts of things. For all he knew, they'd all grow up still searching for food in Pale City, playing on swing sets... or maybe stepping into that Hospital again, since then the patients won't be as scary when you're as tall as they are.
Jobs... Adults usually do jobs because they liked them, didn't they? They wouldn't want to do something they wouldn't enjoy. So they're like hobbies! Lifetime hobbies. Mono thought of the things he liked...
He finally came up with an answer: "I'd like to be in a TV!"
"In... a TV?" Even though he couldn't see RK's eyes, he could tell the boy was squinting at him.
"Hell yeah! And, and... I wanna wear one of those fancy clothes! Y'know, the ones where it's all black, and then, and then... I wanna wear a fancy hat! Those black ones!"
RK tried to remember what they were called when adults were in TVs, but he didn't really know much about the topic... Most of those objects were underground, and he didn't find them interesting enough to go back into that area to toy with them or something. The books he read did mention them once or twice, but... In TVs? He strained his brain to remember—
"You mean... A news anchor?"
He's positive those were the kinds of people that were in TVs. And now that he's thinking about it, they're usually dressed in black... Did they wear hats? He had no clue... Probably.
"News anchor? Why're they called news anchors? They're not even on boats!"
He had to give it to Mono for that one. Why were they called that? But he didn't question further. He didn't make this world, nor did he run it. He only survived in it.
Now Mono scooted closer to RK, fully facing towards his dearest friend. He liked to sit up close, to look at whoever he's talking to. Which is funny, because RK can't see a damn thing under that makeshift bag head.
Mono propped his head up on his hand, and laid his elbow against the floor. His other hand was tapping it, sometimes moving from his thigh to his knee to the floor again. He didn't like to stay still for very long.
Even though RK couldn't see Mono's eyes, he could tell that all the attention was on him right now. Which was embarrassing, really. The only other time RK got attention was when someone wanted to eat him. He wasn't used to having another human being care about his thoughts and opinions.
It felt... nice. RK liked it.
"What about you? What d'you wanna do?"
Mono asked this as if it was the most interesting in the world.
"Hmmm," RK replied.
He tried to think of something that he had interest in, anything—except he didn't have any.
"I'm... not really sure. I don't—I don't know, really... Never thought about it, I suppose."
A chef? No, that sounds like too much work... A janitor? He'd get bored after a minute. A teacher? If trying to talk with Six was any representation of talking to kids, then he'd want no part of it.
"Uh... Something with Nomes, I guess? I like 'em."
"Nomes? Oh, your cute little friends!"
"Yeah, those guys. Don't call them cute, they look like mushrooms. Still, I don't rea—"
"I bet you're gonna be King of the Nomes," Mono giggled in a relaxed, comical tone that sounded a little too pretty to RK's ears and oh geez did he just think Mono sounded pretty?!
"...I don't think that's a real job—"
"Anything can be a real job if you make it one," he interrupted. "The people here wanted help, so the Doctor became someone who helped them. The Nomes need a leader, so you become their King."
"...King, huh." RK envisioned an image of him on top of a hill, sitting in a throne with a shiny golden crown and wearing a red cape. A circle of Nomes standing by his side, waiting for his next order. One of them was holding a bowl of grapes while another was fanning him—
"RK, what's so funny?"
Haha. That was a bit uncharacteristically narcissistic.
"Meh. I think I'll just keep being your friend."
RK blurted out these words wholeheartedly. There was nothing else in the world that he could imagine. He likes where he is now, so why change it?
"..."
Since Mono didn't answer in less than five seconds, RK turned his head to face him, only to be met with Mono being completely still. He would say he was staring at him, but for all he knows, there might be a fly on his forehead.
"What?"
There was no reply, but instead Mono grabbed RK's hand and intertwined their fingers, getting a good, strong grip. Not with too much force that it would hurt, but just enough that RK understood the intent behind it.
"Thanks. I wanna keep being your friend, too."
And for a while, nothing more was spoken. Time felt nonexistent, with their hands together. RK wasn't used to this kind of... touch. He never held hands with anyone. Especially not for this long. He could feel the warmth from Mono's hand radiating onto his, and if he just focused closely enough, he swore he could feel the heartbeat coming from his hand too.
RK could feel that Mono's coarse hands were a little bit bigger than his, and a little thicker, too. Like they had more fat and meat in those fingers. RK wondered how his hands felt to Mono. Not the best, he'd bet. It's not like his hands were soft. RK doesn't think any child in this world would grow up with soft hands.
Mono gave a little squeeze.
RK had no idea what that meant.
Is he trying to check my pulse? I think he can tell I'm still alive, I'm right in front of him.
After a pause, RK gave the same squeeze back, albeit with a little uncertainness. Mono squeezes again, this time longer lasting and with slightly more oomph . He slides his thumb over RK's thumb, repeating the motion back and forth.
RK lets him. He doesn't understand what Mono is trying to say, but all he knows is that it feels pleasant, and that Mono's hands feel pleasant, and that he wouldn't mind if this continued on forever...
"—wanna hold hands, too."
It seems Six has returned. How long did that take? Whatever, it doesn't matter, as long as she's back.
Mono gave a big huff, looking up at Six. She was standing in front of the two boys. RK had no idea how long she was there. Hopefully it wasn't long... that would be embarrassing.
"Good to see you back. C'mere, we missed you."
And with a gentle pull down, Six came to a similar position as the other two, lying in between them.. She could feel a few splinters poking at her back, but that was normal. There was never anything that was fully comfortable.
She learned that comfort did not exist in the environment—it existed in other children.
Children that were like her.
Mono quickly held Six's hands, which felt a lot colder than RK's.
"Let's hold hands, guys. Doesn't it feel nice?"
They didn't need to answer back. The sound of their clothes shifting was enough.
Subconsciously—or not—the three started moving closer to each other, until the edges of their bodies touched. And their hands stayed there, never moving an inch. No one really knew who fell asleep first. Six could hear snoring, but she couldn't tell who it was... it sounded like it was coming from both left and right.
In the morning, Six woke up to her shoulder being slightly damp.
"Mono... Do you get hungry at night?"
"Huh? Whadd'ya mean?" Mono was thoroughly confused.
RK took a good look at Six, then Mono, and then Six again.
"Mono..." RK let out a sigh.
"I think you drool."