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Philza stretched as his feet made contact with the ground, yawning a little as his huge wings curled back against his back neatly and he stared up at his house. Too big for one person and always empty… he didn’t often live in it very much. It was his main house, the one he used mostly for his most important storage, but… he guessed it wasn’t really his home. He didn’t have one of those.
Well. One place came the closest to home, but it had been a while since he’d been there. He felt her calling to him though… more so than just the usual distant yearning that they both felt for one another through the Void. It was why he’d returned back to his main house from his travels. He knew she wanted to see him again. They usually went longer without seeing each other, after all, as two immortal beings, years felt like months sometimes, but it had been just under a year.
Just under a year since he’d seen his wife.
If he could, Phil would spend every moment he could with Kristin. He would hold her, kiss her, cuddle with her, and… well definitely more… but that wasn’t the way this worked. Not only did she live in the universe beyond the End portal, but she lived within the void, a place living being were not meant to go. She was, after all, the Goddess of Death.
He was her angel. He met her after the first time he’d been to the End. He’d conquered the dragon, all three of his lives still intact, and she’d been there. Tall, dark hair, pupilless eyes, and absolutely gorgeous. They did not have much time to talk the first time, Phil was so very young and mortal and desperate to leave as quickly as he’d arrived.
The second time, he’d come to explore. He was careful to avoid the void, even with his wings, and kept his head down to avoid any endermen as he marched against the endstone landscape. He walked right into her, causing him to scramble away in shock. She’d only laughed.
It took him a couple more visits to find out her title and her power.
It took only a few more for him to be completely under her spell.
“You must not live here. These End Cities were clearly not built for you and there are no other structures around that we have seen.” Philza pointed out, opening a chest in one of the buildings after conquering the shulker that protected it. He would take anything of value, but he was no longer really there for diamonds. He had been to so many now… They were just so he could study and learn more about the End.
He looked back at Kristin as she stood watching him with a knowing smile. He smiled back.
They were excuses to visit.
“You’re so observant, my love.” She practically purred and he beamed at the affection, abandoning the chest to walk over to her and take her hand. He kissed the back of it with a smirk and she rolled her eyes. “No, you won’t find my home up here.”
“Up here?”
“Yes. I live down beyond the void.”
“Oh.” His brows furrowed a moment before he looked up at her again. “May I see?”
Unfortunately, Kristin’s lips pursed and he knew that meant bad news. “I’m afraid… mortals cannot see it. It is not for the living. You would die, my dear.”
“I have three lives.”
“The void would take all three.”
Phil refused to admit he pouted, pulling away a little to stare out of the building window and out at the deep black. He knew she was right. Legend says that once you drop below a certain level… even wings simply refusing to work. You get sucked away into the black abyss. “But… You cannot stay on the surface for long. You said it yourself. It makes you sick to stay up here with me for meer hours.” He spoke, defeated. He closed his eyes with a sigh.
He heard her footsteps as she walked up from behind him, seeming almost… hesitant. She lifted her hand to brush across his cheek and make him face her, the cold touch making it impossible to resist opening his eyes to gaze up at her. Both of their faces displayed nothing but undying love for each other.
“I would die for you.” He whispered.
She seemed almost tempted. “I know.” She whispered back. “But that would be selfish of me… you still have so much more to do. I will not take you away from the world.” There was a pause. “But.”
Philza was immediately more alert. “But?”
“How would you feel being my angel instead?”
The process was an experience he couldn’t explain even if he entirely remembered it. However, what he could still recall was waking up again in a place he’d never been before feeling… very different. He couldn’t explain it. He felt like the void that surrounded them was… affecting him somehow. It made him feel stronger. Now he knew it was because she’d made him her angel, an angel of the void. It fuelled him. Made immortal. Or at least… not completely mortal.
“So, I can’t die?”
“Well, yes but also no,” Kristin explained as they walked the halls of the dark castle, the place build and decorated in black, greys, and purples. It took a while for his eyes to adjust so he could see properly, but now he could the place was stunning.
Phil raised an eyebrow at her. “Explain.”
“You won’t age, and you’re stronger, but you could still be killed if you are not careful.”
He nodded, pondering over the words before he looked up to ask another question. “And why do I now only have one life instead of three? Does meaning immortal only mean I get one chance?”
The goddess of death laughed fondly before stopping in front of him. She leaned forward until their noses touched and Phil wrapped his hands around her waist on instinct. “Oh no no, my love.” She shook her head. “I must admit, that was a selfish addition from me. I am impatient for you to finally permanently join me. You get one life and then you get to be with me. Forever.”
She kissed his lips and left him with a dopey grin when she pulled away. Kristin giggled. “Sounds fair to me.” He replied before kissing her again.
Just because he was an angel of the Void now ( her angel ) didn’t mean he could stay in it for very long, however. He had still been born mortal, would still die, and that meant he was on a time crunch whenever he visited. Time passed strangely in the End since there was no day or night, and even weirder in the Void, but he could feel when the effects of the Void started to take hold of his body. The sign to go back to the main End land was usually when his skin started to pale and get as deathly cold as Kristin’s, and whenever that happened his wife would take him back to the portal.
Usually, only a week or two had passed in the main world whenever Phil woke back up in his bed after his time in the End. As soon as he woke up, he’d always reach out through the Void to make sure she knew he missed her and that it wasn’t a dream. She always answered back and he’d smile before going to nurse what always felt like the worst hangover of his life.
The visits had to be spread out, as to not make him too ill.
That first visit had happened over hundreds of years ago now. Maybe more…
Phil was pleased that she’d missed him though. Part of him wanted to hurry through that familiar cupboard and into the basement right now. The other more sensible part of him, however…
He practically collapsed onto his sofa after walking through the wooden door, not even hanging up his hat and coat by the door or taking off his shoes before he did so. He sneezed at the amount of dust that was catapulted into the air when he did so, wrinkled his nose up again when he fought against the urge to do it again. He opened his eyes again for a second and lifted his bucket hat from where it had flopped over them to look at his house which was (obviously) covered in a layer of dust. Not at thick as it had been before, but it reminded him of how much time had passed since he’d been living here.
The smart thing to do would be to hire someone to clean the place, but… well, that would involve a lot of trust, and then probably attachment too. No. He wasn’t willing to do either of those things, not right now anyway. He would just deal with the dust. Cleaning gave him something to do anyway.
He laid his head back against the pillow and pulled his hat back over his eyes. He’d just nap for a few hours… maybe days. Yeah… Whatever Kristin wanted could wait for a little. She always could before.
Suddenly, however, a wave of demand washed over him and he immediately sat up, wings puffing up a little at the feeling as his eyes grew wide. He looked back to the cupboard door where he could feel the pull trying to lead him.
His wife wasn’t usually so impatient, especially since she knew he probably needed the rest, so either she had missed him particularly much and could not wait a few more days, or…
She was in trouble.
Philza did not think of the likelihood of the literal Goddess of death herself being in trouble was very high, hell he didn’t even think it was possible, but that didn’t mean the protective feeling inside him subsided even a little. With the sudden burst of adrenaline waking him up, he rushed to the cupboard, throwing open the door and running down the steps two at a time.
No matter if she was in danger or not, Kristin needed him. That was enough for him. Sleeping could wait. Besides, you couldn’t tire in the End reality, he could just have to have a nice and long sleep when he came back. He was sure he’d enjoy it more after a solid week of his wife playing with his hair and her peppering his lips with kisses anyway.
He came to a halt just before he tripped over his own feet as he arrived at the bottom of his staircase, the dim lantern-lit room full of purple and blue light emitting from the shimmering portal in the middle of the pool. He climbed on top of it and stood over the edge and into the portal. He took a moment to appreciate the beauty of it. No matter how old he got, he still adored the way it looked like the night sky underwater. It even reacted the same way if you dropped a pebble into it as a puddle would, causing a ripple effect that overtook the entire portal.
As soon as they’d wed (or moreso, decided they were wed) Phil had built this house on top of the portal site so he could be as close to her as possible. He couldn’t move it, he tried, but that was fine. He’d just move himself. He’d had no commitment to his current place of residence at that point anyway.
Even with his dirty creased clothes, his greasy hair, and the bags under his eyes that he could see in the reflection of the portal, he did not hesitate to leap into the dark abyss that awaited him. As he did, he left behind his own ripple waves to continue on long after he was gone. His house once again left to collect dust a little longer.
Once, the area where he’d spawned was an obsidian platform not connected to any land… but he’d fixed that since then. Since he’d spent so much time in the End, he’d made it safer. More comfortable. Partially just because he was bored. So when he spawned in the little house he’d made instead, he was surprised not to find Kristin there. This was where she waited for him. This was where they started. She had been so desperate for him to come back she wasn’t here.
Something was wrong.
He pulled out his blade protectively and moved on out of the building. He usually had it out and in his hand anyway, no matter the fact that the ender dragon that had protected this land was gone and he had made some adjustments in the years he’d visited, it wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t free of danger.
It probably should be safer by now, but when he visited he usually spent most of the time in the void… distracted.
Phil felt his chest tighten to an uncomfortable degree when Kristin wasn’t anywhere obvious as he walked across the endstone, the yellow pebbles going flying under his feet as he walked at a fast pace. He hadn’t started running yet. No. He was trying to stop himself from panicking.
Philza reached out to the void, wings spreading out and feathers fluffing up in frustration. Maybe she didn’t feel his presence here yet… But she always did. This was so unlike his wife.
At this point, pretty much the only place he hadn’t searched (besides the farlands, but they were infinite so if she was in trouble out there it would be practically impossible trying to find her) was the void. It was the most obvious place for her to be, but he couldn’t risk travelling there alone. Not only did he not know where her home was within the void, but he also couldn’t fly within in.
Angel of Death or not.
He was about to give up, maybe call into the void for her again despite the fact it would probably fall on deaf ears, when he heard a giggle from behind him. Immediately, his wings folded up again and his shoulders slumped in relief. She was fine. His wife was fine. Just trying to give him a heart attack.
He wasn’t surprised. After all, she couldn’t wait to have him home for good.
“You panic yourself far too much, my love, I just… needed to prepare myself in coming here.” Came Kristen’s familiar voice, causing Phil to close his eyes and smile before turning around to look at her. There was a slight hesitation when she spoke, but he didn’t worry too much about it.
“Well, when my wife wants me to hurry so badly that she summoned me back from my travels halfway across the world and won’t even let me sleep, pardon myself for being-”
Phil’s words came to a sudden halt in his mouth when he looked at her. Properly looked at her. The relieved smile on his face fell into one of shock. He was frozen where he stood for the moment.
Kristin looked as gorgeous as always. Eyes loving, hair long and slightly curled, her own scaled wings that rivalled his own feathered ones tucked against her back. She almost seemed to glow, kind of like the endermen that also inhabited the End dimension. Little purple particles almost being emitted from around her. She was the picture of beauty and always the centre of Philza’s attention whenever she was nearby.
Well… almost always.
As for today, he was too busy staring at the two bundles she was holding carefully against her chest. They were wrapped in light coloured blankets, a large contrast to the dark clothing she seemed to always wear, and… were they wriggling?
On closer inspection, he watched as the tiniest hand he’d ever seen came out of the safety of its fleece cocoon to grab at the blanket. Its grip seemed tight despite its size. Then there was a noise from the bundle in her other arm, almost like a grunt, and Phil’s brain started racing a hundred miles a minute.
“Phil-” Kristin started, suddenly seeming a little nervous, and that was enough to knock Philza out of his trance and immediately race over to them, worry evident on his face even though his wife was obviously fine. But how had it happened? Why didn’t she tell him sooner? What…
“Are these-? When did-? How did-? Ours?” He couldn’t seem to decide what question he needed to get out first, practically shaking out of nerves as he hovered a hand above the bundles, almost like he was afraid of touching them in case they just… disappeared. Babies. These were babies. Two of them. The one on the left slept whilst the one on the right seemed wide awake, blinking up at him with big dark eyes. They had little tufts of dark hair too. He wasn’t sure how old they were. He knew nothing about babies at all, and now… gods...
Maybe she was trying to give him a heart attack after all.
“Ours.” His wife’s voice confirmed and his own eyes, wide out of shock, snapped back up to her again. He went to cup both her cheeks with his hands, his wings almost moving on their own as he protectively wrapped them around them both.
Not them both. Not anymore. That was the wrong word now.
“Gods, are you okay, my love? Why didn’t you tell me? How long has it been? I didn’t even know this was possible...” Phil seemed to finally get control over his own words as he asked, eyes almost pleasing as they watched her relax into his hands. She’d been alone this whole time? “I would have come the moment you call for me… You know that.”
Kristin laughed softly, but the sound was sad and Phil frowned, edging so close that his chest was pressed against the children now. Their children. He glanced down at them again. Christ, they were so incredibly small. And there was two of them. He hadn’t even asked what their names were… or their gender. He was getting so distracted, what kind of fath-
“If I had called for you, you would’ve shown up.”
Phil blinked a few times, not understanding the problem with that. “Yes, that’s the point.
“No, dear, I mean…” She opened her eyes again. “You wouldn’t have left again.”
He paused at that, clearly considering what Kristin was insinuating. He knew his wife would feel so incredibly guilty if his demise was directly correlated with her, hence the reason she was insistent on him not overstaying his welcome in the void. “I wouldn’t have.” He said quietly before his expression became determined. “And I’m not now, either. You really think you can just show me my-” He hesitated and despite the serious conversation, his wife laughed.
“Your sons.”
“My s- wow… I have sons.” He took a moment, his face turning into one of awe for a brief moment. Kristin’s smile became more loving as the fact that Philza was a father started to hit him.
It was never something he thought he would get, at least not biologically. Maybe he could’ve seen himself adopting, but then they would grow old when he could not. No. He never saw that happening. But now…
He looked down at the two bundles again. Babies. Boys. His sons. Luckily for him, Kristin was smart enough to tell him their names before he forgot to ask again.
“This is Techno.” She lifted one arm, the baby that was staring right up at him with an unmoving gaze before she gestured with the other one. “And this is Wilhem” Phil couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the names but tried not to let the distaste show on his face. He clearly failed. “And what is that expression for?”
“Nothing!” She raised her eyebrows and he pulled a hand away to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “It’s just… Techno and Wilhelm? Really?”
“Well, what would you have them named then, if you’re such a critic about it.”
Part of Phil knew that this was a trick question, but nonetheless, he answered the question after a few moments of thought. “How about… Terrance and Wilbur?”
“Phil, those are the dumbest names I’ve ever heard.”
“Not as dumb as yours!”
Kristin shot him a glare and Phil immediately raised his hands in surrender, eyes wide as he laughed nervously. The last thing he should do right now was insult his wife on the names she picked out for their children. Children that Phil had just found out about too… “I mean… There are two of them. How about you pick one name and I pick the other?”
Kristin’s face softened before she sighed and nodded. “Alright… I suppose that seems fair.” She stared down at their sons and Phil did too. “I don’t overly dislike the name Wilbur… so I suppose, Techno and Wilbur will do.” She glanced over at her husband again. “But absolutely under no circumstances are you calling our son ‘Terrance’.”
Phil couldn’t help a small chuckle. “It is kind of a dumb name, huh?”
Kristin broke into a smile and let out a giggle herself until, soon enough, both parents were pressed against each other and laughing together, grinning as Techno seemed to try and shove his tiny fist into his tinier mouth and Wilbur just continued to rest his eyes despite all of the noise.
Philza wondered how the baby could sleep in the End… Or maybe he was just ignoring them.
The laughter slowly died down and their smiles faded somewhat. Right… they’d been having a serious talk about Phil’s final life. He looked back up at her but she seemed to refuse to meet his eye. He pursed his lips. “You think I’m just going to leave you and my sons here? Alone?”
Kristin sighed. “Phil-”
“No. No, I’m staying. I don’t care what that will happen.”
“Phil you don’t understand-”
“I understand perfectly. Listen.” He cupped her cheeks again and pressed their heads together. He needed her to understand. “You are the love of my life. You are my wife, you are the mother of our children, our sons, and I love all three of you more than I could imagine. I would do anything for you and them. I have lived a long-”
“Anything?” Kristin interrupted and immediately Phil for nodding in confirmation.
“Anything.”
He watched his wife take a moment to think and he waited with bated breath, thinking she was about to agree with him when instead she opened her mouth and said something entirely different.
“So you will take them home with you?”
“What.” Phil felt like everything stopped for just a second. He must have heard her wrong. She couldn’t come with them to the overworld, why would she-
“They’re mortal, love.”
And just like that, Philza felt his world start to crumble around him. “No. No, you’re a god and- and I’m immortal so-”
“No, sweetheart.” Carefully, she based the boys into his arms, giving him no time to complain as he took them onto his arms and cradled them so they wouldn’t fall. Both babies fussed a little at the movement and Kristen took her turn to cup Phil’s cheeks now her hands were free. He gazed at her, brokenhearted. “I am immortal… you are just a mortal with a special gift. You were not born immortal.”
“Well… then can’t you make them immortal too.”
“I only get to have one angel, love.”
“Then make one of them an angel!” He asked, clearly desperate. “When they’re old enough, take this gift away from me and give it to them!”
She continued to look at him with that sad stare as Phil panicked. He was not going to outlive his children. He couldn’t. He couldn’t sit and watch them age, watch them die. Not his sons. Not his boys. “Even if I could do that, which I’m not sure if I could, you would still need to leave this place with them. They cannot stay with me in the void any longer, I cannot protect them. Then you would need to keep my gift until they are old enough to care for themselves, as you would not be able to continue living without it.” She sighed, watching a grim understanding slowly wash over his features. “And then, if we did do all of that…” His wife gazed down at their sons and Philza repeated the action. “Are you really willing to separate them like that? They were born together. Do you wish to force one of them to watch his brother age and pass?”
Philza squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force himself not to cry. He used his wings like arms to nudge Kristin a little closer, an action she understood quickly and engulfed her husband in a loving hug. “It’s not fair.” He whispered, silent tears falling down his cheeks. “I just… none of it is fair.
“I know, angel,” she whispered sadly, knowing this day was coming since she found out about her sons. A few of her own tears escaped her eyes. “Death never is.”
---
Philza gasped awake on his sofa as he always did, feeling on edge with a pounding headache as the first rays of the morning sun started to peek through his living room windows. It also took him a moment to remember the End wasn’t a dream, no matter how often he visited. However, this time he has some definite proof to keep him grounded.
He stared down at the two babies pressed against his chest, this time they were definitely both asleep, probably exhausted after being in the End so long. He sighed and laid back on the sofa, his hat doing a great job of covering his eyes again and blocking out the sun.
Maybe now he could finally get that rest he’d been desperately needing…
There was a cry from his arms and he groaned.
Or maybe not.