Chapter Text
Bilbo sat in his study, pouring over his old maps and notes. His movements were slow and languid, his old age showing. All of his adventures had finally worn him down, and he knew that it was time for the next generation to take place.
An empty book sat in front of him, ready to be marked. His quill and inkwell were off to the side as he contemplated how he would begin his story. He played with a few words in his mind, before settling on his honest thoughts. Bilbo picked up his quill, dabbed it gently in the inkwell and began:
“My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. I think it is time for you to know what really happened… ”
Bilbo got to work. After all, there was much to catch up on.
**********
“You’re late!”
Gandalf looked up at Frodo sharply, “A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
The two stared in silence, neither of then backing down until suddenly Frodo couldn't hold it in anymore. Excited to see his friend again, Frodo burst into peels of laughter was joined fondly by the old wizard. Frodo opened his mouth to tell Gandalf about how much he had missed him, when a strong breeze almost toppled him over.
“What in the world?” muttered Frodo as he righted himself. For a few moments, the sky turned dark and the air felt chilly. Frodo jumped at a sharp crack behind him and Gandalf narrowed his eyes.
Then, as quickly as the wind had come, it left and the Shire felt normal once again. Gandalf got out of his cart and quickly made his way to where Frodo was standing stock still. Frodo looked up at Gandalf to gauge what the old wizard was thinking, but Gandalf’s eyes were fixed on something behind him. Frodo was nervous and was about to suggest they leave, when Gandalf’s face broke into a peculiar grin.
“Gandalf… what’s going on? What was that?”.
Gandalf beckoned for Frodo to follow him, “I am not entirely certain, but I do believe that it is a friend.”
Frodo frowned, but if Gandalf was unconcerned then it would stand to reason that Frodo need not be concerned either. Then again, Gandalf wasn’t exactly known for his sense...
"Gandalf, you've only been here a few hours and you're already causing trouble. Did you know that you have officially been named as a disturber of the peace?"
Gandalf harrumphed but made no other sound if acknowledgement. The old wizard was still marching through the greenery and nearing the origin of the strange noise.
Frodo followed Gandalf to come across… a human? They were sprawled out under the trees and asleep. Frodo cocked his head, keenly aware that he had passed by this particular tree only an hour or so before, “They weren’t there before!”
Gandalf chuckled gleefully before using his staff to poke the body, “Wake up! Do you plan on sleeping all day?”
**********
You were dreaming. You were dreaming of soft sunlight warming you up, and a green tree offering you shade from the harsher beams. The air was fresh and had the distinct aroma of cut grass. This was a very nice dream. Very nice indeed.
That is until you were getting hit with a stick. “- sleeping all day?”. You shot up, ready to yell at whoever was waking you up. You felt dizzy for a few moments before you groggily realised that you weren’t in bed. In fact, your so-called dream seemed to be reality. You could feel the grass underneath or fingers, and smell the earth all around you.
“Lucid dreaming?” you came to the most probable conclusion, "Fun!"
Frodo looked at Gandalf alarmed, “Is she drunk?”
You turned your head to scowl at the old man who had poked you with his walking stick and the… little man behind him. They looked oddly familiar but you couldn’t place your finger on it.
“I am not drunk!” you responded to the rude shorter one. Honestly, what kind of awful dream person just accuses people of being drunk?
Gandalf huffed and offered his and to help you stand. You ignored it and got up yourself, “No thanks.”
Frodo looked put off by your rude refusal but and Gandalf only nodded politely, unoffended and unsurprised at your words.
Frodo, the precious and proper hobbit he was nodded to you, after deciding that shaking your hand may also be out of the question, “Greetings! I am Frodo Baggins, of Bag End, and my friend here is Gandalf the Grey. If I may ask, where did you come from Ms…?
If you weren’t paying attention then, you definitely were now. Frodo… Baggins? And Gandalf! Were right in front of you! Best Dream Ever.
“Oh just call me Y/n. It is such an honour to meet you two, I’m a big fan!” you grinned before striding towards them. You crouched down in front of Frodo, and with no warning, hugged him.
“Wow, you’re so real!,” you looked around the space you were in, “Is Bilbo around? Can I see him? What about-”
Gandalf pried you off of the reddening Frodo, “That’s quite enough of that Y/n. Feel free to follow us. I am sure Bilbo will be pleased to see you!”
You pumped your fist in the air, “Yes! I’m going to meet Bilbo Baggins!”
Gandalf guided you towards the cart he had left behind while Frodo followed silently, still trying to figure out what was happening. He tugged on Gandalf’s sleeve while you were distracted, “Gandalf, I am pretty sure that Bilbo does not want any guests. Especially one who has clearly had enough to drink!” he hissed.
Gandalf only chuckled and Frodo was finding that Gandalf’s amusement came at the expense of others, “I understand that you are quite confused my dear boy, but if it is of any consolation, she is just as confused as you. In fact, I believe that she thinks this all to be a dream. Give it a few days and I am sure that everything will turn out fine.”
Frodo nodded hesitantly but ultimately decided that he would do play along with the wizard’s shenanigans. Frodo chatted amicably with you on the way to Bag End and found that once your excitement had worn off, you were content to watch the happenings of the Shire.
After passing a few smials, you heard calls for Gandalf and his fireworks from the little faunts. They were absolutely adorable and you wanted nothing more then to pinch their chubby little cheeks. After Gandalf passed them without setting off any fireworks, they were pouting and their sounds of disappointment were heartwrenching.
“Gandalf you old fart, give the people what they want!” you complained, secretly wanting to see the fireworks yourself.
Said man was happily puffing away on his pipe. With barely a look in your direction, Gandalf flicked his wrist and you watched in fascination as little fireworks sparkled and danced in the air. You clapped and cheered at the different colours and sparkles. “That was amazing!”
Gandalf bowed his head in thanks and you went back to looking at the Shire. It was so different from your world. It was green and clean, and the hobbits were all curly-haired and bare-foot. It was peaceful here. Nevertheless, something in the back of your mind kept niggling at you making it hard to zone into the peaceful vibes. You wrinkled your face. It was all so real. You had never had a dream like this before. Maybe it was a hallucination?
You were deep in thought until Frodo nudged you. “We have arrived. Did you want to meet my uncle? He’s celebrating his 111th birthday tonight, You can come if you want,” he offered.
“Bilbo’s 111th? Of course I’ll come, it’s going to be a riot!” you grinned happily and followed Gandalf to the front door.
Frodo waved you and Gandalf goodbye, “I’m going to help with setting up the party now! I’ll see you both later!”
You waved goodbye and bounced on your toes while Gandalf knocked on the wooden door. The door was round and perfectly hobbitish. You couldn’t wait to see the inside. Gandalf knocked a few more times before you finally heard a voice calling out, “No, thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well wishers, or distant relations!”
You giggled, remembering this part of the movie well.
Everything was following the movie pretty well, almost line to line; except for when you came in, but everything else was the same. You had watched the Lord Of The Rings trilogy not long ago, and still remembered most of what happened. Odd. Maybe you were dreaming of the movie?
Without meaning to, you mouthed Gandalf’s reply to the disgruntled Bilbo, “And what about very old friends?”
There was a pause before the door opened, revealing the master of Bag End himself, Bilbo Baggins. “Gandalf!” he cried out and enveloped him in a hug (well, it was more of the other way around but Bilbo did his best).
Bilbo’s eyes caught sight of you and opened his mouth, “And it’s-”
Gandalf cut him off, “This is Y/n. She has just gotten here and has no idea where she is. I hope it’s not a problem if she joins you here for a little bit?”
It wasn’t phrased like a question.
You waved awkwardly, “Gandalf, you need to stop cutting people off. Has anyone ever told you it’s bad manners?”
Gandalf pursed his lips and Bilbo laughed loudly. “Of course she can stay here. Come in, come in! I’ll prepare us some tea!”
You and Gandalf had to duck in order to walk into the hobbit hole, and as you looked around, you couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. You didn’t know why, but looking at Bilbo and Frodo’s home suddenly reminded you of your own. It was certainly very lived in, if the mess wasn’t a hint at it. In the corner an old chest was open and you saw a glimmer of silver and gold. You took a step towards it but stopped. Snooping is not a good habit, you scolded yourself.
You heard Gandalf making his way further into the smile and you turned just in time to watch his forehead collide with the ceiling. You didn’t bother trying to hide your sniggers.
In the background, Bilbo was rambling on about something, rushing about trying to put together something to eat. Giving you a secret wink, Gandalf recovered from his blow and was hunched over a table looking at pieces of parchment. You peered over his shoulder, “The Lonely Mountain... Hey, isn’t that when Bilbo went with Thorin and the company to kill the dragon?”
Gandalf nodded, “Indeed it was.”
Bilbo had reappeared with some food and caught you and Gandalf looking at the old map. “I’m writing a book about it you know,” he informed the two of you, “I’m writing about everything that happened.”
Bilbo glanced at Gandalf, who smiled warmly at him, “As you should.”
You felt like you were missing some context but shrugged it off. Bilbo showed you and Gandalf to a dining table where you were given a bowl of fresh strawberries and cream. You thanked Bilbo profusely and dug in happily with a dainty hobbit sized fork. Gandalf and Bilbo were having their own conversation, making small talk as you let your mind wander.
The hobbit hole was much larger than you had originally thought. It may have been low to the ground but it had hallways that led to other rooms and spread throughout the entire hill. Bilbo had tastefully decorated it, and it was just on the right side of clutter. The type of clutter that spoke of a scholar and an adventurer, not a messy psycho. You had just finished the bowl when you heard more knocking.
“Bilbo Baggins, you open this door… I know you're in there!” called a shrill voice. Bilbo choked on a strip of chicken he was eating and you thumped him on the back. He sat in aghast silence before looking at you with a mischievous look, “Y/n, I have a mission for you!”
You sat up straighter, “Whatever you need Bilbo!”
Bilbo chuckled and Gandalf sighed, as if resigning himself to the fact that you were already starting to cause trouble.
“I need you to distract Lobelia for me. Usually I would just hide, but I have things to do and I can’t have her banging on my door all day. I just need you to distract her. Just for a little while. Then you can make a break for it and find Frodo,”
You nodded, if this really was the movie, then Bilbo and Gandalf were about to have a serious conversation and you wanted no part of it. “You can count on me!”
With no little fanfare, you thrust the door open and grinned widely. “You must be Lobelia!” you exclaimed and walked… straight smack into the door frame.
You swore you heard Gandalf and Bilbo laughing but you regained your senses and walked out with your dignity intact. Lobelia was dumbfounded for a few moments before hesitantly asking, “Is your head alright Ms?”
You nodded and silently wished for death. That was one solid door frame. But, you had a mission to complete. “Lobelia, as you can see I am very new here and I would be honoured if you could assist me by giving me a little tour?”
Lobelia hesitated, her need to talk to Bilbo warring with her desire to make a better impression than Bilbo. You decided she needed an extra push, “Of course you needn’t trouble yourself, but Bilbo is feeling a bit cranky and I have heard from many respectable ears that you were an expert in hobbit affairs!”
You could practically see Lobelia nodding to herself and puffing her chest proudly, “Indeed I am! Bilbo can be a bit cranky at times, it must come with his age. But as for you my dear, I will show you around. Normally I am very busy, but there is something familiar about you and I would love to show you the splendours of the Shire!”
You smiled, two birds with one stone. You got to see the Shire and you kept Lobelia away from Bilbo.
**********
Night had fallen and you were exhausted. Lobelia was nothing if not thorough and you had met so many other hobbits. They all seemed to be curious as to who the human was, but there was no ill intent. “Hobbits really have more stamina than they should!” you groaned.
Frodo laughed next to you and handed you a chicken sandwich. “You say that as if you hadn’t helped with a lot of the heavy lifting!”
Before Lobelia had managed to kidnap you and take you further around the Shire, Frodo had come to your rescue, claiming that you had promised to help set up for Bilbo’s party. You had beamed at Lobelia before running away with Frodo, “God, she was a lot more gossipy than I thought she would be!”
You now had extensive knowledge of hobbit affairs. You knew all about the family feud that had begun after a Bracegirdle had stolen an award winning jam recipe from the Riverruns. You heard of the disgraced Bilbo Bagggins several times, and the tragedy that had befallen his nephew, Frodo. You even learned about the cheekiness and discourteous Tooks that caused trouble wherever they went. In fact, when Frodo had found you, Lobelia was engaged in combat with another passionate hobbit. Well, it was more of a passive aggressive display of… blueberries… that mostly flew over your head but Lobelia looked like she was a leaf away from ripping out a pair of garden shears and doing away with the competition.
The hobbits hadn’t minded when Frodo brought you over to help set up, and you had assisted in putting up tents and carrying some of the larger and heavier pieces of furniture. “That was a work out!” you cried to Frodo, massaging your sore arms.
The two of you settled into a comfortable silence as you finished the sandwich he had given you. You sat overlooking the sparkling lights illuminating the Shire and the merry hobbits bringing food to the tables. You shifted as you thought of home, this was a long dream and while you enjoyed yourself, it was starting to become concerning.
Frodo, bless his heart, seemed to sense your discomfort “Is everything alright Y/n?”
You shrugged, “This is all a dream, it has to be… but everything is so real!” you confessed.
Frodo looked at you with calm acceptance, “Maybe this isn’t a dream then? Perhaps when you were asleep some sort of magic brought you to the Shire. If I am honest myself, I have no idea how you got here.”
You took a deep breath in and out before responding, “Well, if this isn’t a dream, then I am far away from home and…” you drifted off suddenly realising what the ramifications were if this wasn’t a dream.
If this wasn’t a dream, and you were really in Middle Earth and everything seemed to be following the movies, then Frodo was about to get the ring. And the Fellowship of the Ring was just beginning.
“And?” asked Frodo.
You waved him off, “Nothing Frodo. But regardless of whether or not this is a dream, I am determined to enjoy myself!”
Frodo stood up, “Well you’re just in time. The party is getting started!”
You cheered and followed him down to where the hobbits had set up tents and tables full of food, There were so many hobbits, and hobbit children! You kept awwing and crouched in front of a few to say hello. Some of them you had already met, courtesy of Lobelia, and were begging to be picked up.
“You’re flying, whoosh! You’re so tall!” you exclaimed as the little fauntlings squealed with delight. Frodo was chatting to their parents and you laughed and pretended to fall over when you were ‘stabbed’ by the little ones.
Frodo spotted Sam and gestured for you to follow him. You had to weave your way through the hobbits and you were suddenly very glad that Lobelia had taken you on such an extensive tour. No one seemed surprised to see you, and apparently, any guest of both Bilbo’s and Lobelia’s wouldn’t cause any trouble.
Frodo introduced Sam who looked up at you with wide eyes, “Hello Ms! It is very nice to meet you.”
You smiled widely and hugged Sam who spluttered and blushed, “It is very nice to meet you too! Frodo has told me so many great things about you. It is an honour.”
Sam visibly brightened and there was an extra skip in his step when you waved him goodbye.
Frodo tugged on your sleeve, “Y/n, I’m sorry to abandon you now but I need to find Bilbo. Please enjoy the party!” You pat him on the back and spotted two hobbits running around mischievously.
“Don’t worry about it, I think I can keep myself entertained.”
Frodo looked up at you, suspicious at your airy tone. The look in your eyes promised that you were up to something. Frodo debated keeping an eye on you, but decided that whatever prank you decided to pull wouldn’t hurt anyone. Besides, Gandalf could always take care of anything bad that happened.
Frodo shook his head and went on to find Bilbo, while you tried to locate Merry and Pippin.
You picked up a few tasty morsels while you searched. You were munching on a delicious strawberry shortcake, when you heard furious whispering, “No, no! The big one...the big one!”
You ducked between two tents to give way to two hobbits standing in front of Gandalf’s cart. Pippin yelped when he caught sight of you and tripped head first into the pile of fireworks. Merry’s head swung around and looked at you aghast.
“We’ve been caught Pip!”
“Let’s make a run for it Merry!”
You held your hands out to placate them, “No no no, you’ve got this all wrong!”
They looked at you suspiciously as you neared the wagon. You cast a critical eye on all the fireworks before finding the massive dragon one. You held it out triumphantly, “This one!”
Merry and Pippin shared a quick look before filling up with glee. They scrambled towards you, “This way!” they pointed and the three of you entered an empty tent.
When you were away from prying eyes, Merry straightened up his waistcoat and bowed, “Pleasure to meet you Ms, I am Meridock Brandybuck and this is my friend Peregrin Took, but you can just call us Merry and Pippin.”
You grinned widely and gave a quick bow back, “I am Y/n, a guest of Bilbo’s for an indefinite amount of time.”
Merry nodded approvingly and gestured to the dragon firework still in your arms, “Shall we?”
You grinned, “We shall!”
You set the firework in the centre of the little triangle you had formed with Merry and Pippin. You casually placed your hand on the top to make sure that it didn’t topple over. “Okay, so game plan,” you began, “Pippin can light the firework as soon as we stick it in the ground. Wouldn't want any accidents.”
Merry nodded and the two of you began to dig a small hole. Pippin found a match and was waiting eagerly. Soon the firework was standing upright by itself and you smiled proudly, “She’s going to be beautiful!”
Merry and Pippin cheered and Pippin lit the match. The fuse was sparking along and it was only a few seconds later that you realised what had gone wrong.
“Outside! We were meant to put it outside!” you shrieked.
Merry looked aghast, “Oh Yavannah, stop the fuse!”
“How? I didn’t bring anything sharp!?”
“Run for it!” you screamed, but before you could turn tail, the fuse reached the end.
“Get down. Save yourselves!” you cried before you fell to the ground and covered your head. There was an explosion of colour before you felt a cool breeze.
You looked and saw that the tent was totally gone. Whoops. You got up slowly and all thoughts of the obliterated tent disappeared as you watched the firework take the shape of an enormous dragon.
You remembered this part of the film well, but nothing could prepare you for how stunning the red and gold show was and you found yourself clapping and cheering with the hobbits. Merry and Pippin were beside you, faces covered in soot and hair disarrayed, but the three of you laughed in triumph.
“That was good,” said Merry.
“Let’s get another one!” agreed Pippin.
You were about to respond when Gandalf appeared out of nowhere and clamped his hand down on Merry and Pippin’s ears. You had jumped back and was about to make a break for it when Gandalf used his staff to trip you over. You landed on your butt and looked up at him sheepishly.
“Meridock Brandybuck and Peregrin Took… I might have known,” he shook his head sternly before turning his disapproving grandpa eyes on you. He stared you down and you did an awkward wave, “Hi, it’s me. How’s your night been?”
You tried to lighten the mood but Gandalf was having none of it. He dragged the three of you to the cleaning tent to wash the dishes from the entire party.
You shared a conspiratorial look with Merry and Pippin, “Worth it,” you whispered and they nodded back.