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Odasaku did not know how he got to the graveyard, but it didn’t matter. He supposed he must had walked. His driver’s license had been revoked while he was in jail. It didn’t matter.
They were dead. They were all dead. They were all dead because of him. They were all dead.
He walked. What else could he do? He could not kneel at the graves. They were too angry that him. They hated him with an icy anger, he who had killed and neglected and destroyed them. His family. Dazai’s intelligent eyes, made empty through his inaction. Atsushi, distrust leaking off of him, trapped forever underground where the Hunt he’d served for so long could not reach him. Ango, so guarded, so quiet, so alone, wasting away with Odasaku’s abandonment. Kousuke, so broken in that last phone call, his siblings stripped away by a bomb--dead through his own inaction, his own inability to keep them safe. Kousuke and Shinji and Yuu and Katsumi and Sakura, killed by Gide, dead because Odasaku had decided to anger the Church of the Divine Host by stealing their powerful books. Atsushi, starved on the streets because Odasaku didn’t make his home welcoming enough. Dazai, eyes gouged out, Mori puppeting his body, that disgusting slick smile on his face. Ango--
A hand landed on his shoulder.
“Odasaku, this isn’t real,” a familiar voice said behind him. “Please, just trust me. I know I haven’t exactly been...myself, these past six years, but I’m here now. I promise. This isn’t real. Well, Ango’s really dead, I should know, I killed him--it was an accident, but he is actually dead. If Atsushi and Kyouka are gone I’m suing the universe, I swear I am. And you know that the kids are hardy. I mean, they survived what, nearly a decade on their own? They’re probably running around in their own special domain now. This isn’t real. I promise.”
Odasaku whirled around. Dazai stood there, smiling sadly at him. His hair wash brushed neatly into the style he’d preferred as a teenager; he wore a long tan coat and a pressed shirt. Fresh bandages were wrapped around his arms and neck, but there was no sign of blood on them. His eyes sparkled with intelligence once again, a depth that Odasaku realized he had lacked even before he was separated from the Distortion.
“...Dazai?” he said slowly.
Dazai smiled at him and waved a little. “That’s me.”
“You’re back,” he said.
“Yep!” Dazai laughed, a little wildly. “Took three apocalypses to do it, but finally, I am myself again. It’s a pity about the world, though.”
“The world...ended,” Odasaku repeated. He looked up at the sky for the first person in who know how long, and saw--a black tower rising into endless gleam, the triangular top pressing into the pupil of an enormous eye. “Oh my God.”
“Yep. Kunikida really did it, the crazy bastard.” Dazai sighed, looking up as well. “As glad as I am about, you know, being me again, I really do wish this hadn’t happened. I liked the world the way it was! No one life is important enough that it’s worth ending the world over--not that I’m saying he did it for me. I don’t think anyone knew how it would affect me. I’m just saying--as glad as I am to be back, I’m not so glad that I don’t care that the world’s ended.”
“I know,” Odasaku said. He reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Dazai’s ear. Dazai grinned at him. “I guess we’re saving the world, then?”
“Yep! There’s a couple people I want to grab first, but yeah. The Fears came from somewhere outside reality--I intend to seal them back there. --Oh, and Odasaku?”
“Yes?” Odasaku said.
“When we set the world to rights, and I’m gone again...please, I don’t care what you tell Atsushi and Kyouka, just please suffocate me with a pillow.” Dazai’s face was grim. “I don’t want them to see me like that any more than they already have.”
“You know I won’t do that, Dazai,” Odasaku said.
He shrugged. “I’m asking anyway. I don’t want to have to ask Atsushi or Kyouka for it.”
“You don’t have to,” Odasaku told him. “You could let us take care of you.”
Dazai shook his head. “You know I can’t do that.”
“Can’t,” Odasaku said, “or won’t?”
“Does that really matter?” Dazai asked. “Come on. Let’s find Atsushi and Kyouka. If they’re still alive, they’ll be together.” He smiled wanly. “They’re always together.”