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Sokka was five years old when he leaned out too far from his father’s fishing boat and tumbled head-first into the icy waters. The cold knocked the breath right out of his lungs and he opened his eyes in fear but he was only met with darkness. Terror and the cold locked his muscles up as he sank further down until he felt his father’s fist close around the hood of his coat and he was dragged back up to the surface. Later, back in the village, his mother wrapped him up in warm blankets and sat him down next to the fire. As he shivered Sokka wished he would never experience that cold terror again.
He was thirteen the next time it happened and it was much like the first time. He fell out of the fishing boat as he leaned too far out but this time there was no father to pull him back up and certainly no mother to bundle him up in blankets. The cold and terror were no longer unfamiliar though. He felt cold every time he walked into their hut expecting his mother to be there only to find Katara instead, his sister’s eyes red from crying and he felt terror whenever he thought he spotted a wisp of black smoke on the horizon, knowing he was the tribe’s only defense. Still, when Katara refused to let him go alone next time, Sokka felt just a little bit warmer.
He was fifteen when he walked into the icy water of the North, caught up in the beauty of a princess. He didn’t feel cold that time, the warmth of a smile heating him up like it was his own personal Sun. The cold only caught up with him when he held the princess’s cooling body in his arms, realizing she was actually the Moon, only reflecting the Sun’s gentle warmth. Sokka never quite forgot how cold her hands felt in her last moments, nor how soft her lips were as they shared their last kiss. Some nights the memories still lingered even when he held his Sun years later.
Sokka was seventeen and back from a war he should never have fought in and one he selfishly wished hadn’t stopped. During the war, he knew his place, in peace he felt like the lost thirteen-year-old who fell into the water and wished his parents would save him. He helped the tribe rebuild and trained the younger kids, not to fight, but to hunt and fish and when a child fell into the water Sokka was the first to jump after him because he had to feel like he could still protect someone. The ice was pain and pain chased the memories of guilt and grief away.
He was twenty and he stood shirtless, with his hands clasped with another's. They both stared out at the water and as Sokka took a step forward the hand tightened around his. "I’ll be here,” Zuko said. “I know.” He answered without looking back, afraid he would back out if he did. He let go of Zuko’s hand and stepped forward into the water. The cold seeped into his bones but he kept going until it was up to his neck. It hurt so much and he needed every second of it. He felt his body trying to stay alive and it was exhilarating. The ice was pain and pain meant he was alive. It’s been so long since his soul wanted to be alive. He couldn’t force that but this, this was close enough. When he walked out, Zuko, his Sun, was already there with a blanket, and as he wrapped him up and used his fire bending to give him some warmth Sokka finally let himself cry. He cried and cried more than he had since he was thirteen. More than he had since the responsibility for an entire tribe fell on his shoulders. More than he had since he realized what he wanted was not important, because he was a warrior, a protector, a chief, a brother...
Sokka was twenty-five and he was once again in a boat, tying the blue ribbon of a betrothal necklace around Zuko’s neck. Not far from them on the shore stood all their friends, their family. Sokka finished and Zuko let his dark hair fall down onto his back. He tried to turn around but the movement was too much, too fast and they fell into the water before Sokka realized what was happening. The cold knocked the air out from his lungs and he opened his eyes in terror only to see... Zuko, with his golden eyes open and staring back at him. They pushed themselves to the surface, their heads breaching the water at the same time and when Zuko grinned at him Sokka could not help grinning back. Katara bent the water out of their clothes once they swam back to the shore and then hugged Sokka like she never wanted to let him go. When they eventually parted both of them had tears in their eyes. After that, the rest of the day was filled with laughter and celebration and Toph couldn’t help mentioning that she never expected their wedding to go any other way. That night when Sokka lay in Zuko’s arms he wished that if he had to fall into the icy waters again let Zuko be there with him, so they could emerge together. They were not perfect and both of them had their days when even just breathing was hard but with Zuko Sokka didn’t need the pain of ice to remind him that he was still alive.