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Shouyou is on his way to the vending machine, minding his business. He plans to grab a can of tea, maybe a snack, and then head to his classroom or maybe Kageyama’s to bother him. It’s still early in the lunch break, so there’s plenty of time to decide!
Of course, all of his previous thoughts and plans come to a screeching halt when he reaches the vending machine and spots a familiar figure lingering. Shouyou frowns and looks around the corner, where Tsukishima seems to be doing their best to blend into the wall.
(They’re not doing a very good job.)
“Tsukki?”
Tsukishima jumps and clicks their tongue like a reflex. “Moron. Don’t sneak up on people.”
“I… didn’t?” Shouyou tilts his head curiously. “Hey, Tsukishima, what’re you doing?”
Tsukishima holds up their strawberry milk. “Drinking milk, standing.”
“You look like you’re hiding.”
“I’m not.”
“Well, you look like you are.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“Well–”
“What do you want,” Tsukishima grits.
“A can of tea and I’m considering a snack,” Shouyou says, gesturing to the vending machine. “Why’re you hiding?”
“I’m not.”
“Are some guys bullying you? Because that’s probably karma for being so mean your whole life,” Shouyou teases. He knows no one would actively bully Tsukishima into hiding– they’re far too tall and intimidating when they want to be.
“Get your tea or whatever and leave me alone,” Tsukishima groans. They sink down to the floor, stubbornly drinking their milk. It’s funny, the way someone over a hundred and ninety centimeters can look like such a petulant child sometimes.
“Well, now that I know somethings wrong, I don’t think I will,” Shouyou decides. He sits down on the floor beside Tsukishima, tea forgotten. “Seriously. We’ve known each other for almost two years; if something’s wrong, you can tell me.”
Tsukishima’s face twists, as if Shouyou’s genuine kindness and concern is causing them physical pain. Then again, knowing Tsukishima, it probably is.
“If I tell you, will you go away?”
“I might!” Shouyou chirps, which seems to be good enough for Tsukishima.
“Fine. I’m hiding from some girls.” They set down their now empty milk box and lean their head back against the wall. “It’s White Day, you know.”
Shouyou frowns as he thinks about the date. “Huh, I guess it is. What, did you confess to multiple girls and now they’re all about to reject you? Are they all mad?”
“Do you even know who I am,” Tsukishima deadpans. “No, why would I confess to any girls? They all confessed to me on Valentine’s, rock for brains, so I had to do the decent thing and give them their obligation chocolates or whatever.”
Shouyou is admittedly a little lost, but he nods along.
“I turned them all down, but a few of them wanted me to take the whole month to think about it before giving a final answer.”
“Did you think about it?”
“No,” Tsukishima snorts. “Why would I? Time won’t change anything here.”
“Maybe if you got to know the girls who confessed, you wouldn’t have to hide from them behind a vending machine!”
“Do you think I enjoy making them feel bad?” Tsukishima looks at him out of the corner of their eye. “I’m gay, stupid. So, all this does is make them upset and me uncomfortable.”
Shouyou’s brain turns off and back on to process the new information. He doesn’t have any strong feelings on the subject – he certainly knows that he isn’t straight – but something about Tsukishima saying it so bluntly, as if he should have known. Should he? Has Tsukishima come out before and he forgot? Or are they just assuming their gayness is obvious enough to be noticed by anyone who spends time with them?
“The point is, since I knew who I had to get things to, I left it on their desks when they weren’t in the room, so I’m avoiding any sort of confrontation, because I don’t feel like coming up with an excuse for why I don’t want to date any girl, much less one I’ve barely ever spoken to.”
Shouyou hums in understanding; that much, he gets. Tsukishima only ever seems to enjoy upsetting people to get a rise out of them. Rejecting girls who they will probably have to offer some sort of comfort to doesn’t sound like something even they’d enjoy.
“Now you know, so shoo.”
Shouyou’s face scrunches up. “Whoa, hold on! Don’t shoo me while I’m trying to be a good friend here!”
“Really, is that what we’re calling this?”
“Yeah, really! Hey, do you want me to walk with you to practice? I bet if any girls come up to you, I’ll be able to distract them by talking to them!”
“Or just scare them off with your loud mouth, whichever works.”
Shouyou sticks his tongue out. “Okay, Meany-shima, see if I ever offer to do anything nice for you again!”
He stands up to finally get his things from the vending machine, but Tsukishima reaches for his wrist.
“Wait.”
Shouyou looks at them, confused.
“If you walk next to me on the way to practice, it’s not like I could stop you.”
It takes a great deal of effort for Shouyou not to smile. He nods instead as Tsukishima releases his wrist.
“That’s true, you couldn’t stop me from doing anything that I wanted to.”
Tsukishima grumbles something incoherently, and Shouyou takes that as his cue to leave. Still, he feels a little proud of the fact that Tsukishima would let him try to help. And in their own way, they even said that they wanted him to.
Shouyou only has a couple years of practice. He’s nowhere near Yamaguchi’s level of understanding Tsukishima-isms, but some things are clear as day, once you pull back their blunt and sarcastic nature. Tsukishima always says what they mean, even though they have the most indirect ways to do that.
Right now, Shouyou knows that they mean, please walk me to practice, I don’t want to deal with confrontation. Far be it from Shouyou to deny his friend such a simple request!
Shouyou practically runs to Tsukishima’s classroom at the end of the day, and it’s a good thing too. Tsukishima is still packing up their things, taking their sweet time, avoiding what they’ve probably decided is inevitable.
Shouyou hops up onto their desk, startling them for the second time that day.
“Where’s Yamaguchi?” Shouyou asks, looking around for their captain.
“He already headed to practice. I told him to go without me,” Tsukishima says, opting out of scolding Shouyou for sneaking again.
Shouyou hums and watches the meticulous way that Tsukishima packs away their pens and pencils and highlighters.
“Are you always this anal about your pencil case’s organization or are you just really avoiding any potential encounters?”
Tsukishima scowls at him before going even slower, if possible. Shouyou doesn’t know why that makes him smile.
“Don’t worry, I already have a perfect plan,” he continues. “When I think Yamayama might beat me to practice, I have a secret route that I take. There’s never many people there and it always gets me to the gym fast enough to still have a fighting chance.”
Tsukishima raises an eyebrow. “And his royal highness is none the wiser?”
“He may still beat me sometimes at volleyball, but in a battle of wits–”
“It’s usually a draw?”
Shouyou puffs his cheeks out and kicks Tsukishima’s leg. “In a battle of wits, I win every time!”
Tsukishima snorts and zips up their bag. “It’s not that impressive against Kageyama, but alright. Show me your secret route or whatever.”
“I will! But first you have to swear you won’t tell Kageyama!”
Tsukishima rolls their eyes and stands up. “No shit. Come on, then.”
Shouyou smiles and bounds out of the classroom, glancing behind him to make sure Tsukishima’s following. Once he’s sure that no one is looking at them, he continues to the route that’ll get them to the gym the fastest.
“Hey,” he starts once they’re clear of other students, “do you think it’d be different if a boy confessed to you?”
Tsukishima’s brows pinch together. “Different how?”
“Like, do you think you’d think about it between Valentines and White Day?”
“I guess that would depend,” Tsukishima admits quietly. “On the guy, on if he meant it, all that.”
Shouyou hums and looks over at them, tilting his head curiously at the look on their face. He’s not sure if they’re upset about the idea or confused by it.
“Has a guy ever confessed to you before?”
Tsukishima stiffens and shakes their head. “Not seriously. Once on a dare, but he was straight.”
Shouyou immediately considers asking who it is so he can turn around and throw hands. “That’s so mean! Why would anyone dare him to do that? Who would follow through with it!”
“To be fair, he assumed I was straight too,” Tsukishima snorts. “And so when I was starting to ask for some time to process and think, he told me that it was just a dare.”
Shouyou frowns harder. “He wasn’t a jerk about it, was he? Because I swear that I’ll–”
“No,” Tsukishima interrupts. “He told me he was straight to be nice, I think. And then he told his friends that I pulled a face and turned him down.”
“So that’s the only time a guy confessed to you?”
Tsukishima nods. “It doesn’t really matter though. Like I said, it would only change things depending on the guy. If he’s ugly or a complete stranger, I wouldn’t give it any thought.”
“Well, that first part’s kinda shallow, Stingyshima!” Shouyou laughs. “Why are you answering my questions?”
“Because if I avoided them, you’d just bring it up later, and I’d have to think about it more than once.” Tsukishima shoves their hands in their jacket pockets. “Why are you even asking?”
“I’m just curious! I never knew you got confessions at all, much less that it was such a difficult experience for you!”
Tsukishima makes a noise of indifference as they continue to power ahead.
“I know the rejection part’s uncomfortable, but do you really hate confessions altogether? Isn’t it kinda nice knowing so many people think you’re such a catch?”
Tsukishima sends a glare Shouyou’s way, which would usually be a cue to stop, that he’s pushing something. But that just makes him wonder more, so he pushes more.
“I’m just curious,” Shouyou whines.
“No, it’s not nice,” Tsukishima says. “They’re confessing because they don’t even know me. Can you drop this?”
Shouyou frowns. “Don’t you mean they’re confessing even though they don’t know you?”
“No, they’re confessing because they don’t know me,” Tsukishima repeats. “Because if they did, they wouldn’t. Because when they do, they don’t. A pretty face can’t carry a shitty personality, and I wouldn’t want it to.”
Shouyou is silent for a moment, and his walking slows. “You’re a weird guy, Tsukishima. Most people don’t get more insecure over knowing they’re a bit of a heartthrob.”
“I’m not insecure,” Tsukishima says, too fast to be anything but defensive. “I’m just making an observation.”
“Well, just because no one you know has ever confessed doesn’t mean they never liked you,” Shouyou muses. “But it’s a lot harder to tell someone how you feel when there’s something to lose if they reject you, don’t you think?”
“Why do you keep pushing,” Tsukishima asks. “Can’t I just be socially inept and hide behind a vending machine without getting the third degree?”
“I just want to understand!”
“Why?”
Shouyou throws his hands up helplessly. “I don’t know why! I just want to know. I’ve never been confessed to before.”
“Oh, bullshit.”
“No, I’m serious!” And then, he thinks about how immediately their response came. “Why so skeptical?”
“Because,” Tsukishima says, and that seems like all they plan on saying on the matter.
“I’ve never confessed to anyone either. I’ve only had crushes on people I was friends with, and at that point, our friendship was just more important to me than anything else.”
“I don’t care.”
They’re finally outside, only a two-minute walk from the gym. Shouyou stops in front of Tsukishima and squints up at them, considering.
“Do you think that people wouldn’t confess to you if they know you because you don’t think you’re worth confessing to for real?”
Tsukishima gives him a look of disbelief. “What the fuck, you can’t just ask someone something like that.”
Shouyou takes a step closer. “Answer the question, Tsukki.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Tsukishima.”
Shouyou stays where he is, analyzing Tsukishima’s reactions like it’s about to help him make the winning spike of a long volleyball match. They look somewhere between livid and nervous, and they won’t look at him directly. Their brows are pinched together like they’re trying to decide if answering Shouyou or ignoring him would lead to the least annoying outcome.
Shouyou turns to continue walking to practice.
“I have a perfectly fine sense of self-worth,” Tsukishima finally says as they jog to catch up. “I’m just self-aware enough to know that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.”
“Bullshit,” Shouyou says, mimicking Tsukishima’s voice from earlier.
Tsukishima makes a frustrated noise, and Shouyou can only imagine the look of annoyance on their face. He waits until he’s at the steps outside the gym before he turns to look for himself.
And well.
Tsukishima doesn’t look annoyed. Frustrated, maybe, but Shouyou thinks it might be an internal struggle here.
“Tsukishima?”
Tsukishima doesn’t answer, nor do they look at him. That doesn’t strike Shouyou as a good sign.
“Tsukishima,” he says again. “You know, I mean what I said? People don’t confess to their friends, usually because they’re afraid of losing them. You’re plenty likeable when someone gets to know you beyond the surface level.”
“I didn’t ask you to comfort me, shrimp.”
“Don’t care.”
Shouyou walks up a couple of steps so he can look Tsukishima directly in the eyes for this. It’s worth them knowing he’s going to mean every single word that comes out of his mouth.
“Those girls who confess to you don’t just do it because you’re pretty,” he starts. “They do it because they can observe that you’re smart, athletic, and since you’re always by Yamaguchi, they probably even think you’re nice!”
“Come off it, Hinata, can we just go to–”
“No,” Shouyou insists, crossing his arms and glaring at Tsukishima. “Because your friends who may have liked you would never confess to you because they’d be afraid of losing you, of scaring you off. But that doesn’t change anything! You’re still smart and athletic and rude and even though you act like you don’t care, you care about a lot of things and it’s so cool when you start talking about them!
“And you care about the underclassmen and the team and your friends, and you think we don’t notice but we all know you paid for Tsubasa-kun’s lunch last week when he realized he forgot to bring any money! It’s cute when you talk about dinosaurs and you’re never mean in a sincere way anymore, not unless someone really deserves it. I guess that my point is– Tsukki?”
Tsukishima is staring at him, looking thoroughly shell-shocked, as if Shouyou would’ve had better luck punching them in the face than raining compliments down on them like hail. They look conflicted and emotional, things that Shouyou hasn’t seen on their face outside of a volleyball context maybe ever.
Did he overstep? Was that too much?
But then, Tsukishima’s features turn into a glare, and they look down to where Shouyou’s stood on the third step. Interesting thing for their brain to snap to for distraction, but Shouyou won’t judge.
“Oh, huh,” Shouyou hums, looking down as well before back up at them. “Looks like I’m finally as tall as you, Tsukki!”
He laughs, but then Tsukishima walks up one step, and they’re already taller than him again. And they walk up the second step, scowling down at him. Yep. He definitely took all of this too far. He should really check next time before pelting Tsukishima with so many compliments, lest they get this murderous look in their eyes again.
They put one foot up on the same step Shouyou’s on, towering over him. He thinks this is how he dies.
“Why,” Tsukishima grits out, searching Shouyou’s face like it will give them some sort of answers. “You’re acting weird today. And nice. What the hell could you possibly want.”
Shouyou blinks. Maybe what he’s always thought was Tsukishima’s murderous intent face has been their emotional confusion face all along.
“I’m just being a good friend, Tsukki, not everyone has malicious motives!”
“You actually know what malicious means?”
“Hey!” Shouyou stomps and pouts because he may be seventeen but he’s still got plenty of childishness left in him.
Tsukishima huffs a laugh though, and that’s an improvement.
“Did you mean any of that?” Tsukishima presses, voice strangely small. They haven’t backed out of Shouyou’s space, which is weird. They only stay this close when they’re pulling his hair, usually.
“Obviously, Dummyshima! Honestly, and you call me an idiot! Do you think I’d be able to rant nice things right to your face without meaning it!?”
This is supposed to be the point where Tsukishima clicks their tongue, pushes past Shouyou, and walks to practice. It’s supposed to be where they stew in their emotions and focus anything they don’t understand into volleyball. They’re supposed to act natural, get annoyed, convince Yachi and Shouyou to let them walk home with Yamaguchi alone.
Tsukishima does not seem to receive this memo, as they still haven’t moved.
Their amber gaze feels like it’s burning into Shouyou’s very soul and being. He could easily back away, but he’s too curious to figure out what’s happening. Besides, what message would that send to Tsukishima? He doesn’t want to risk it being the wrong one.
Tsukishima’s head dips lower, ever so slowly, and their tongue darts out to wet their lips. There’s still that pained expression of confused emotion in their face, but Shouyou thinks he just put together the puzzle they’re still working out.
“Tsu– Tsukishima,” he questions, staying firmly in place. Whatever was about to happen, Tsukishima was moving first. No way in hell was Shouyou going to scare them off by acting first.
He feels the moment they glance at his mouth and his heart feels like it’s trying to flee the scene. Shouyou decides he should close his eyes for whatever happens. Even if this buildup leads to getting slapped or something, that seems better with his eyes closed.
Tsukishima does not slap him.
Instead, Shouyou feels their nose brush against his, warm puffs of their breath against his skin. He feels like someone set off firecrackers inside his nervous system. Standing still and waiting for Tsukishima to make their move is the hardest trial on Shouyou’s patience to date.
After what was probably five seconds, but felt like years, Tsukishima’s lips brush against Shouyou’s. He can’t tell if they’re moving so slow to give him a chance to freak and run, or if they’re trying not to give themself a chance to freak and run.
Tsukishima starts to pull back, and Shouyou is ready to complain about how that wasn’t even a real kiss, but then Tsukishima is leaning back in at a different angle, with more conviction than before.
And, oh.
Shouyou reaches out to hold onto their shoulders to stabilize himself, and Tsukishima seems to take that as a good sign. They wrap their arms around his waist and back, pulling him closer, kissing him harder. Shouyou sighs in content, and Tsukishima nips at his lower lip, putting a hand on his jaw to keep their control over the kiss. As soon as the kiss turns open-mouthed, Shouyou’s brain takes an official vacation. He won’t be seeing it for a long time after this.
He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised that Tsukishima kisses like a man starving, when he was just talking about how they put their all into the things they care about. They must really care about kissing Shouyou right now, because he can barely find time to breathe with the constant flurry of lips and tongue and teeth against his mouth.
This moment is probably going to haunt him at night from now until graduation. He’s never going to get a full night’s rest again and it’s all Tsukishima’s fault.
It’s got to be more than just the words and the compliments; there’s no way something so simple would’ve unlocked all of this. Shouyou’s heart flutters at the idea that maybe, Tsukishima already liked him. Maybe that’s why they talked to him, let him walk them to practice like some white knight.
Shouyou’s always thought kissing sounds kind of gross, but maybe that’s because movies don’t feature the desperate and needy whines and groans that Tsukishima can make when they’re far enough gone. He thinks he could do this for hours.
But the bubble shatters when the gym door opens behind them, and Yamaguchi calls out an awkward, “Uh… Tsukki?”
Tsukishima pulls away from Shouyou faster than he thinks he’s ever seen them move, adjusting their shirt and hair.
Shouyou has always thought that Tsukishima could be a quick thinker, but maybe he kissed the quick thinking right out of them this time. They stare at their childhood friend like they can’t remember why he’s even here, and Yamaguchi looks like he’s ready to burst into laughter.
“And that,” Tsukishima finally says, looking at Shouyou, “is how not to give someone CPR.”
It’s incredibly lame, quite possibly the worst excuse in the entire world. But Tsukishima walks into the gym with their head held high anyways, while Shouyou and Yamaguchi nearly collapse with laughter.
No one inside the gym knows what just happened, or why is takes their ace and captain so long to regain their composure. Tsukishima acts like they weren’t even there for all of that, and practice almost goes on like normal.
Almost.
Tsukishima is one hell of an actor, but they’re powerless to hide their pink cheeks every time Shouyou looks at them through the evening. The first years ask if they have a fever or are feeling unwell, and eventually Tsukishima gives up and sits a few rounds out.
And well, if Shouyou asks them if they need actual mouth-to-mouth with how little they’ve been breathing, that’s no one’s business. The team just hears Tsukishima’s strangled yelp as they shove Shouyou’s face away, and Shouyou’s laughter returning.
It hardly matters.
Once they’re alone after practice, Tsukishima kisses him again, and Shouyou can’t stop smiling about it.
“I should compliment you more often,” Shouyou decides, grinning up at them.
“No,” Tsukishima argues, turning to leave. “I kissed you to make you stop.”
“Maybe the first time,” Shouyou hums. “What was that time about?”
Tsukishima mutters something incoherent and continues making their way off the school premises.
“Tsukki,” Shouyou laughs, jogging after them. “I like you too.”
“No, you like me one, I like you too,” Tsukishima huffs. “I didn’t say anything before.”
“Your lips said everything I needed to hear,” Shouyou teases, poking their sides. “You like me.”
“Shut up.”
“You like me and that’s why you let me bug you all day.”
“Regretting this, Hinata,” they warn sternly.
Shouyou doesn’t believe a word of it. He laces their fingers together and insists on walking Tsukishima home.