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English
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MCU Peter & Harley, Trying to keep track of what I read: A collection, These Worlds Have Phones and WiFi
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Published:
2021-04-04
Updated:
2021-06-17
Words:
1,195
Chapters:
2/?
Comments:
20
Kudos:
717
Bookmarks:
71
Hits:
5,882

Mistakes Were Made

Summary:

> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan
Kid, didn't I specifically tell you not to make an account on here?

 >> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man
Huh? Sorry Mr. Stark but it's too dark in here, I can't hear you D:

 

--------
A Twitter Fic because I'm a sucker for them and need something fun and lighthearted to write!:)

Chapter 1: It’s too dark in here

Chapter Text

Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Hey Queens, I got Twitter! :D

Spider-man Selfie by https://www.deviantart.com/timetravel6000v2 on @DeviantArt | Spiderman comic, Avengers pictures, Tom holland spiderman

> Nunya business @freshavocado

ah great another fake spiderman account

>> lea @wandasimp

actually i think this one isnt a fake? that pic hasnt been posted before

>>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Also: it's Spider-Man. With a Hyphen

 

> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

Kid, didn't I specifically tell you not to make an account on here?

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Huh? Sorry Mr. Stark but it's too dark in here, I can't hear you D:

 

> Stabs as a warning @BlackWidow

Hey Spider-Boy

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Hey Nat!!:)

 

> Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo @WMaximoff

Spidey:)) Glad to have you here!!

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

<3 >.<

 

> Nick Fury @NickFury

Don't do something stupid, Spiderman.

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Ofc not Mr. Scary Eyepatch Grandpa Director of S.H.I.E.L.D Sir! (But also it's Spider-Man with a Hyphen ._.)

>>> Nick Fury @NickFury

Kid.

>>>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Sorry!

 

> Mel @ImAliveButImDead

oh my god #spider-man has twitter!!

 

> Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

OMG SPIDER-MAN ILY

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Aaaa thanks?

 

> I draw hh @Bluewater353

Spidey where is that picture from and who tf is that giant figure behind you-

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Funny that you ask! The pic is from my first fight with/against the Avengers in Berlin a few years ago! And that behind me is Ant-Man!

>>> gay gay homosexual gay @LeoWeo

"with/against"????

>>>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

It's a long story, really - but I stole Captain Americas Shield! :D

>>>>> gay gay homosexual gay @LeoWeo

@SteveRogers is that true????

>>>>>> Captain Americano @SteveRogers

No comment.

>>>>>>> I draw hh @Bluewater353

Oh my God

 

Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Heya, I'll be doing a short Q&A because I'm bored! So send me your questions (they can be about anything!)^^

> Vine Queen @PrincessShuri

is sand called sand bc it lays between sea and land?

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

,,,,This was not what I thought about when I said "they can be about anything".

 

Stream I Can't Stop Me @StanLoona

@Spider_Man How old are you? Iron Man and Nick Fury called you "Kid" earlier and I always thought you were like,, 30-

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Well, I can't say how old I am because of my secret identity but what I can say is that I am definitely not as old as most people believe

 

I love women @cassiesauce

@Spider_Man Are you Tony Starks secret child?

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

What- No.

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

@Spider_Man Can you greet me?? My name is Flash Thompson!!

 

c ya later alligator @ilikebread

@Spider_Man cats or dogs?

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Cats!!!! But sadly I'm not allowed to have pets at Stark Tower:(

>> Mel @ImAliveButImDead

you live at Stark Tower?

>>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Uh,, sorta? I do spend most of my time there

 

If you read this you're gay @Nyah

@Spider_Man Were you ever shot? Or why do you have that as ur user sjksjsk

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

More than I can count. Not a very pleasant experience, -10/10, wouldn't recommend

 

Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

@Spider_Man Will you finally log out of Twitter and help me in the lab?

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

It's still too dark in here, still can't hear you.

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

@Spider_Man Can you follow me back?

 

Don't BLINK @LokiFan

@Spider_Man do you have a girlfriend?

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

I don't!

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

@Spider_Man Please reply;-;!

 

Enter something funny @Depressedandthriving

@Spider_Man whats the most dangerous thing that has ever happened to you?

> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

My PTSD right now: .-.

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Tbh, probably that time I was in a plane crash with basically only pajamas on,,, Or that time in the fight with Thanos where I carried the Infinity Gaunlet over the battlefield and basically everything/-one was attacking me. That was,,,,,,,, fun

>>> Enter something funny @Depressedandthriving

are you okay?

>>>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

:)

>>>>> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

Therapy... So much therapy...

 

Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Okay y'all, I won't be answering any more questions because a) Pepper Potts is gonna have my head and I'm scared of her (but who isn't?) and b) Wanda wants to teach me to cook a traditional Sokovian dish, so I'm gonna be busy for a while!!:D Adios!!

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

@Spider_Man Hello?

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

@Spider_Man Pls can I just get a small hi?;-;

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

@Spider_Man Spidey?;(

> MJ @blckdalhia

you have some issues, flash.

 

Trending

#Spider-Man

#SpideyOnTwitter

#Easter

#BLM

#StopAsianHate

Chapter 2: Tiny Stank

Chapter Text

i want a cat:( @peterparkhere

mistakes were made.

> Guy in the chair @NedLEDs

Now that's a bit vague, care to elaborate?

>> i want a cat:( @peterparkhere

no

>>> Guy in the chair @NedLEDs

Fair

 

Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Help I‘‘ stuck in a vent itsd hard to type in herw

> Finally introducing.. @LOONA

excuse me ure what

> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

Kid, why are you in a vent?

>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

Tjought I could fit. Was follwimg bad criminal dood but got stucj now he gone

>>> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

…The lack of grammar is very worrying. I’m on my way.

>>>> Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

You dont even knoq where I am

>>> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

I‘m tracking your suit, kid. I’ll be there in 5 minutes.

 

Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

Sigh. Why did no one ever tell me that adopting a Spider-Kid would be so much trouble.

 

Buzzfeed @BuzzfeedOfficial

Is Spider-Man actually a child? And is Tony Stark, multi-billionaire and past-CEO of Stark Industries, his adoptive father? Find out in our new article! [https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ]

 

Pepper Stark Potts @PepperSICEO

Tony, I swear to God. I leave you unsupervised for a day and you cause another PR nightmare.

> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

Oops?

 

i want a cat:( @peterparkhere

on todays episode on why thor is the best avenger:

1. hes a literal god

2. he has a red cape

3. strong

4. read 2.

5. effortlessly funny

6. read 2.

> MJ @blckdalhia

so basically all it takes is a red cape?

>> i want a cat:( @peterparkhere

i- listen. red capes are cool

>>> MJ @blckdalhia

if u say so, looser


 > God of Himbos @ ThorSonOfOdin

Thank you very much, young Stark! I‘m honored that you think so highly of me.

>> i want a cat:( @peterparkhere

LSKSKSKSNSKKSNSJSNSLSBS THORRR??!-!2!1&1&1‘s WHO TOLD U WHAT A HIMBO IS

>>> God of Himbos @ ThorSonOfOdin

Harley told me that it meant “soft squirrels” and I gotta admit I’m a fan of the little, adorable animal!

>>>> i want a cat:( @peterparkhere

soft squi- ohmy god @HarleyYeehaw i cant with u

>>>>> Potato Gun Kid @HarleyYeehaw

:)

 

Spider-Fan No.1 @FlashT

So is everyone just going to ignore the fact that *Thor* reblogged Penis Parkers post and called him “young Stark”?

> MJ @blckdalhia

yes.

> Guy in the chair @NedLEDs

yes.

> i hate ferris wheels @BettyB

yes.

> Midtown sucks @Lizzie

yes.

 

Pls don't shoot me @Spider_Man

I lived, bitches. #TinyStank saved me

> Mel @ImAliveButImDead

w h o ?

>> my name is nicki m @bratatata

PLS SHJSJSHSJJS #TinyStank

 

> Tony Stark @IAmIronMan

Ungrateful insect boy.

 

Trending

#TinyStank

#InsectBoy

#EM

#FreePalestine

#SpideyOnTwitter