Chapter Text
Fundy gazed out into the vast darkness of the land, his hands grasping at the cracked blackstone that comprised his nation’s walls. Starlight twinkled in his eyes as his ears twitched with every noise that came from the forest beyond. He pulled his hat closer to his head, afraid that the wind would sweep him back into the cage that was his home. He took a deep breath, relishing in the night breeze that tickled and caressed his cheek like a mother would to her baby. He took one final glance back, crouched as low as he was, he could only catch traces of figures and shadows moving about within the country. Fundy looked towards home. Warm yellow light seeped out from the camarvan’s windows as a lone silhouette stood by the window - calm and unmoving.
He held onto the edge of the stone, taking a deep breath before beginning his descent. He paused every so often, the stray sound of footsteps or rustling bushes frightened and coaxed him to return to the safety of his room. He braved on, reaching for every edge or hole he could grasp as he made his way down the side of the wall, grateful that his father hadn’t realized his absence. If he was caught outside, Fundy would never hear the end of the lecture. He winced at the thought.
Fundy has broken rules in the past, but this one - this one - is one Wilbur would never forgive.
He stifled his yip of joy as he felt the soft grass, the blades of grass tickling the soles of his feet. Fundy’s tail wagged from side to side as he hesitatingly moved away from the wall, exhilaration coursing through his veins as he realized that he was outside. He was actually outside the walls!
Fundy pulled his black jacket closer to himself, the freezing cold of the night pierced through his skin as he turned to look out into the dark forest. The fox hybrid knew he shouldn’t let his guard down, tales of the monsters that lurked beyond L’Manburg’s walls rushed to the front of his mind. His father would tell him the stories of zombies, skeletons, and creatures that exploded if one were to get near. He didn’t doubt his father’s words, but he had to see the world for himself.
The hilt of his sword pressed against his side as he walked further into the shrubbery, the moonlight filtering through the trees his only source of light. But for a fox hybrid, the night was but a companion, the world brighter in his eyes despite the darkness that shrouded him.
Despite his bravado, he chose to stay away from the noises, not eager to come across a monster.
As he got further away from L’Manburg, a giddiness overtook the apprehension in his heart as his pace began to quicken. Fundy felt a smile stretch across his face as he started to run, feet thumping against soft grass and fallen branches as he ached to chase the feeling of freedom that had so long forsaken him. He could feel the rush of euphoria as the moonlight graced him with its presence, the forest welcoming as he explored every inch that he could. Fundy had no map of the forest, had no bearing of where he was going, but he had - no, he needed - to run. His nose picked up every new scent, his eyes picked up every new sight, and his hands picked up every new texture that he could get his hands on. He couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but wish to run until the scorching sun came up over the horizon and cursed the land with its pale yellow hue.
As that thought circled through his mind, his pace quickened, anger fueling him now as he knew he couldn’t outrun the inevitable forever. Fundy could feel the hot tears gathering in his eyes, scowling as he wiped them away with the sleeve of his jacket. A part of him dared to not go back, to flee to somewhere far away and leave the suffocating walls of his father’s nation behind.
Still, where would he go? The world was vast and unexplored, where would he run to? With the war that encompassed the entire land of the Essempy, how could he flee without being caught by L’Manbergian soldiers or by the enemy? Fundy shuddered at the thought, his father’s warnings of the enemy coming to the forefront of his mind. Death would be more merciful than them.
Then there was Wilbur, his dad. Fundy felt his ears press against the top of his head, his pace slowing until he was merely jogging. He couldn’t leave his dad alone, couldn’t leave without a proper goodbye. His dad was doing everything he could to keep Fundy safe and he couldn’t leave knowing that he would be leaving his heartbroken father to forever wonder if his son was still alive somewhere in the world. He let out a sigh, running a hand through his windswept hair. He can’t break his dad’s heart. He just can’t. Fundy shook his head, resuming his run through the forest. He wasn’t going to leave his dad. Never. Fundy would never break his dad’s heart.
He paused, the sharp crack of a branch snapping nearby sending him to a panicked frenzy as he jumped to lean back against the rough bark of a tree. The bushes in front of him were rustling, yet he couldn’t see any of the monsters that his father had warned him about. He felt his heart leap in his chest as the noise got closer and closer, his hands scrambling towards his sword, fingers fumbling between his fingers as he desperately tried to grab at the hilt. He could feel sweat trickle down the side of his neck, the cool night air sending goosebumps down his skin as it whispered of his demise. Oh gods, oh gods, he was going to fucking die here. Fundy huffed out a breath. His dad was right. He shouldn’t have left the walls. He shouldn’t have left the walls! He got his sword out, but it was too late. He screamed as a small shadowy mass leapt towards him.
His eyes shuttered close, the blade slipping past his hands as he waited for the shocking pain to hit. A few seconds ticked past, yet death did not come to claim his soul that night. He took a shaky breath, trying to quell his erratically beating heart. With tremors running up and down his fingers, he slowly lowered his hands from his face, gaze flicking down towards… the fox?
Fundy lowered to a kneel, hands reaching down towards the small fox that had bounded out of the bushes. Its dark brown eyes regarded him with a friendliness that made Fundy’s heart warm, its little paws petting against his lap as it tried to climb onto his shoulder. Fundy gently pushed the fox down, terrified of running and accidentally dropping the fox. It tilted its head to the side, sadness - at least that’s what Fundy assumes - dancing in the fox’s eyes as it let out a whimper, turning around in a circle before jumping onto Fundy’s lap. He barely had time to properly react before the fox’s dirt-stained paws were against his chest, its snout reaching up past his face as it snapped its teeth at something above Fundy’s head. Fundy watched in a stupor as the fox jumped back down, his black hat hanging from its mouth. The fox gave him one last look, a crystal clear look of mischief in its eyes, before turning on its heel and running further into the shrubbery.
“Wha一 HEY!” He bounded after the fox, his feet thumping against the forest earth as he darted between low-hanging branches and the night monsters that lurked. “COME BACK HERE!”
He swore the fox just snickered at him. Fundy growled underneath his breath. He could not go home without that hat! It would draw too many questions, and then he’d have to tell his dad where the hat even went. Oh, absolutely not. No, just no. “Come back, please... Come on, man!”
As he ran deeper into the woods, the moonlight began to disappear underneath the leaves, the world plunged into the darkness with only his eyes giving him the ability to see. He chased after the fox, calling for it to come back as fatigue began to seep into his bones. In his haste to get his hat back, he began to bump into all sorts of things. Fundy began to bump into trees, their harsh bark grazing him on the cheeks as he stumbled and tripped over his own two feet. Mobs got closer to him, rotting hands reaching for his flesh as arrows breezed overhead. Fundy gritted his teeth, pushing himself away from the mobs as he continued to follow the fox who was kind enough to wait for him each time he slowed down or lost sight of the fox. It would glance back at him every so often, wag its tail, before running off again. Fundy was beginning to think that this was the gods’ punishment towards him for disobeying his dad’s rule. “I NEED THAT, YOU一”
He let out a small ‘oomph’ , diving face first onto… something. Fundy gripped whatever it was in front of him, the texture soft yet fuzzy against the palm of his hand as he tried to blink away the dizziness and surprise that had taken over his mind. He looked at what he had bumped into, eyes adjusting back to the darkness as he tried to wrack his mind about what he was holding. It wasn’t a tree, his mind helpfully supplied. The surface of whatever-it-was was colored in disgusting lime green, the color a stark contrast to the shadows of the forest. His ears flicked up, his body tensing in fear. There was a strange noise in the air like… a kettle hissing… hissing… HISSING!
Fundy screamed, pushing against what he could only assume was a creeper, knocking it to the ground as he hurried to get away. He tried to ignore the little shriek that it made, surprised to find that it sounded nearly human. GODS, why did they make those monsters sound human?! Fundy shook his head, running until he was a safe distance away from the impending explosion site.
Though… he could have sworn he hadn’t heard an explosion at all.
Fundy managed to collapse into an open clearing, his limbs failing him as he laid there on the ground in pure exhaustion, adrenaline gone from his veins. He felt paws scrabble at the top of his head, teeth gripping his jacket collar as the fox dragged him further into the clearing. He groaned, trying to bite the little pest away but it persevered enough to force him back into a sit. He blinked away the sleep from his eyes, knowing that he couldn’t go to sleep in the middle of nowhere. The fox had curled up in his arms, nuzzling itself into his jacket as though to keep itself warm. He reached up a hand, his hat already on his head. Huh… well, at least his hat was back. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips, a smile forming on his face. Then he looked up, and froze.
The moonlight glistened against the clear surface of the lake, bathing it an ethereal silver glow. Dark shadows darted from its depths as tiny fishes waltzed with one another in their own little dance, undisturbed by his ungraceful presence. With the fox cradled in his arms, he made his way to the shore, his eyes bright as the golden flecks in his dark brown eyes shimmered underneath the glow of the moon. He felt his breath leave his throat, the sereneness of the clearing - dotted as it was by the prettiest of flowers that bloomed underneath the care of the moon - sending a wave of calm through his tense and tired body. He felt safe. He felt at peace.
“You’re a little shit, but… thank you. For this.” Fundy held up the fox so that he could look into its eyes. The fox yipped, licking the tip of its nose as it began to struggle in his hold. He placed it on the ground, the fox whimpering as it tried to climb back up his arms. “Sorry… I can’t一”
His dad would question where he got a fox so late at night. Fundy moved away from it, even as it began to clung to the edge of his pants, its little claws digging into the cloth. He felt his heart ache, wishing that he could just scoop the little guy up and take it home. He tried to take a deep breath, reminding himself of the reason why he couldn’t just take the fox home with him. There was no place for a pet in war. Fundy crouched down, the fox immediately trying to jump into his arms, but he kept it from doing so. He placed his hand against the fox’s head, rubbing behind its ears as it slowly began to lie down, tail wagging excitedly as Fundy continued to pet it. The fox let out a purr, nuzzling further into his hand. “I’m sorry. I’d really take you with me if I could.”
It was the snap of a twig that made him pause. The fox looked up, its ears raised as it looked out into the treeline behind the lake. Fundy strained his eyes to see against the shadows, but he couldn’t see anything. The fox yipped, moving away from him as it headed towards the noise. Fundy took it as his cue to leave. He wanted to stay and bask in the beauty of the clearing, but now all he could feel was fear and trepidation, as if a being was staring at him from the trees. He felt a shiver run down his spine. He was being observed. He could tell. With one last look at the lake and the fox, Fundy turned and began to run back towards where he felt home was. He heard the fox squeak after him, could hear its paws thump against the grass it tried to catch up to him, but Fundy wasn’t as kind to wait for it as it had been for him. He ran until the fox’s cries were but a distant noise, he ran and ran until the familiar look of blackstone appeared within his view.
Within seconds, he was climbing up the wall, reaching for the spots he had used to climb down. There was a hollow feeling in his chest as he reached the top, almost as if he had left a piece of him within the forest that night. Fundy looked into the forest once more, before heading back in.
“Did you believe I wouldn’t notice your absence?” Fundy froze, nearly slipping and falling off the wall as he quickly turned around, jumping down to the ground as a silhouette appeared from behind the tree that stood nearby the entrance to L’Manburg. “Fundy, what was my one rule?”
He gripped the bottom edge of his shirt, scratching as bits of string hung loosely from the cloth. He turned around to face Wilbur. The man looked utterly exhausted, dark circles beneath his eyes as a cool breeze ruffled his uncombed, curly brown hair. Wilbur stood at attention, one hand gripping the hilt of his sword as Fundy felt his father grasp his arm. Fundy couldn’t bring himself to speak as Wilbur dragged him deeper into the confines of L’Manburg, soft chuckling from somewhere in the darkness (no doubt Tubbo and Tommy watching Fundy be dragged off into another lecture). Fundy bit the inside of his cheek, the hto dog van coming into view as Wilbur practically shoved him inside. Shadows clung to the furniture, the soft hiss of potions brewing the only source of noise within the small space that Fundy nearly wished that Wilbur would just leave him there to sulk for the night as his punishment. Luck was not on the fox hybrid’s side.
“Have you any idea how terrified I was to find out that you were missing? I was this close to sending out search parties, Fundy. I was this fucking close!” Fundy hung his head, his father’s yelling accompanied by the sickening slam of the door closing. He pressed his lips together as Wilbur grabbed him by the arms, his hold nearly bruising as Wilbur glared into his eyes. Fundy felt a trickle of fear, “I can’t have you doing this again. Do you know how reckless and stupid―”
“I just wanted to take a walk, dad…”
“A walk? A WALK?! What if you got caught? What if you ran into fucking Dream? Have you no self-preservation. FUCK!” Fundy flinched as Wilbur let go of him, only to slam his hands against the table. Wilbur was breathing hard, his chest heaving up and down as if he was calming himself down. “I can’t lose you, Fundy. Dream’s a tyrant, he would do anything to win this war.”
“Why? Are you scared they’re going to use me against you? They probably don’t even know I exist since I’m not even allowed to leave this place! How could they even know you have a son to use as blackmail when you don’t let me wander outside the walls?!” Fundy hadn’t meant to raise his voice, stuttering into a fearful pause as he realized the seeping anger in his tone. Wilbur glanced up at him, shock dancing in those dark brown eyes. Fundy leaned against the wall, the cool metal sending goosebumps down his skin… or perhaps that was the rising frustration. L’Manburg was Fundy’s entire world, he barely knew anything outside those depressingly large walls that seemed to reach up into the heavens above. Wilbur had made it clear to everyone that Fundy was to never leave. “Dad, I can’t live my whole life here. There’s a whole other world out there just waiting to be explored. I… I just wanted to see it. You can’t keep me inside forever.”
“It’s not forever, Fundy. It’s just until the war is over.” He felt a gentle hand caress his cheek. Fundy didn’t even realize that Wilbur had moved closer, “Then you’ll be free to… wander.”
Fundy chuckled at that. His dad was a terrible liar, he couldn’t even conceal the hesitation in his voice. Fundy focused his attention on his muddy feet instead, remembering how the wind felt against his hair as he raced through the forest, the fox that had taken his hat and made Fundy follow after it until Fundy reached the silver lake. His eyes had been his only guide. Of course, he did run into a few trees while chasing the fox, even running into a creeper that he swore made a fucking kettle sound (was that how creepers hissed?) when he bumped into it. He had eventually come to a stop by the clear lake at the center of the empty clearing, watching the dark shadows zip around the bottom of the water. Fundy had petted the fox, enjoying the serenity and peace of the night. Then he fled, the creeping sense of being watched having sent goosebumps down his skin.
“Give it time. We’ll have our freedom and perhaps I’ll let you leave L’Manburg every now and then.” There was a hand on the top of his head, soothing his ears down as a smile formed on his dad’s face. Fundy couldn’t bring himself to return it. “I promise. Just stay inside for now, hm?”
“You promise?” He moved closer, clutching the front of his dad’s coat. Wilbur placed a hand at Fundy’s back, hesitant as if Wilbur wasn’t quite sure if Fundy was asking for a hug. Fundy gritted his teeth at the idea of even hugging Wilbur at such a time. He let out a sigh, willing his voice not to shake or for tears to spring into his eyes as he glanced up to meet his father’s eyes. He hated how he barely reached his father’s chin despite being older than Tommy or Tubbo. “You talk of freedom and independence as if they were inevitable. Don’t you see how hopeless this is dad? You’re fighting a losing battle. You think you can beat a god? A fucking god? We’re all going to die. I-I’m going to die. I’m going to die without ever having lived, dad―”
The rest of his words were swallowed away as Wilbur pulled him into an embrace, a hand pressing his head against his dad’s chest. Fundy could almost hear the erratic beat of Wilbur’s heart, felt the way that his dad held him clser as though his words had actually frightened Wilbur. Guilt trickled into his heart but Fundy tried not to hold onto it. “Don’t say that. You won’t… you can’t die. I’ll make sure of it. We’ll be fine, my son. You won’t die on the battlefield.”
“You can’t promise me that. You can’t promise me a chance against death.” Fundy wasn’t sure if Wilbur could hear him - not sure if Wilbur would dare to hear him - but he had to try. Wilbur began to hum, a discordant tune that sounded more like droning as if he was trying to block out Fundy’s voice. Fundy curled his hands into fists, nails digging into the skin of his palm. His dad was doing it again, ignoring the negative as if it didn’t exist. “Dad… you have to let me live a little. We don’t know how much time we have left before… Let me feel freedom for once.”
Silence ticked by as Wilbur moved away, a pained look in his eyes as he looked down at Fundy. There was the shimmer of tears but Wilbur didn’t cry. No. Never in front of Fundy. Wilbur wrapped his arms around himself and Fundy realized that Wilbur was reassuring himself more than he was protecting Fundy. This wasn’t about Fundy at all… this was about Wilbur’s fear.
“I love you very much, my little champion. I love you enough to say no to what you’re asking of me. I… I can’t have you running about in the forest at night doing gods know what. Not when Dream is out there… waiting.” Fundy rolled his eyes at that. For all this talk of Dream, he’s never even seen the illusive man at all. Fundy was beginning to think that Wilbur had made the man up, like he did once when Fundy was a kid and Wilbur had jokingly said there was a monster underneath the bed. Wilbur regretted it as Fundy refused to sleep alone for an entire month. “Do you know why I built those walls? The walls you are so adamant to hate? I built them for you. I built them to keep you safe, Fundy. I need to protect my sweet little son. Can’t you see that?”
“Can’t you see? I’m not that kid anymore. You need to stop seeing me as a a helpless baby.” Fundy felt his last inkling of hope disappear. Wilbur would never understand, never will for as long as he thought the world would take his son away. Fundy turned to leave, ignoring his dad’s call for him to come back. He stood at the door, hand hovering above the handle.
“Fundy Soot, you get back here this instant. The conversation isn’t over.” He let out a low growl. It was over, Fundy was ending it. He pushed the door open, the cool, night wind blowing through his hair and into the cramped and heated van. “Don’t you growl at me, young man. FUNDY―”
He looked back, snarling loudly that Wilbur immediately backed off, a surprised look on his face. Good. Fundy didn’t want to stay there any longer. Fuck Wilbur and Fuck L’Manburg too.
“You know what, Wilbur? I never asked you to fucking protect me. You made that choice. Now I’m making mine.”
And with that, Fundy was gone.