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platonic marriage is made of head pats and braided hair

Summary:

Their comfortable ritual was broken as Tubbo’s hands fell away. Ranboo perked up a bit as Tubbo leaned forward, ready to hear what he had to say.

“See, I told you I could work wonders with these hands of mine,” Tubbo whispered, cut off by short giggles.

Ranboo tensed, hypnotic calm immediately washing away as Tubbo’s words sank in. He blushed furiously, instinctively jolting forward.

He didn’t get far, Tubbo’s arm wrapping around his chest, but it was the principle of the thing.

“Tub— Tubbo you can’t just say something like that!” Ranboo hissed.

 

———————

 

Or, Ranboo and Tubbo platonically cuddle while Tubbo threatens divorce and Ranboo almost wishes the threat was real.

Notes:

I have somehow turned into a fluff writer. I blame my friend. You know who you are. <33

This one is super short but said friend rly wanted me to post it so here! I hope y’all like it.

Work Text:

Hands drifted through his hair, fingertips gently scraping down and down his skull under they trailed further, leaving for one still second before starting all over again.

It was the sort of gentle contact that made time still, breathy and slow. Ranboo felt both on top of the world and beneath it, chest lighter than air. He never got to feel like this, and used to think he never would, but now...

Tubbo giggled from above him, fingers stuttering for a second before resuming. They caught on a small braid he’d made absentmindedly a few minutes before, tugging without any pain, before moving on. He was methodical in his movements, so rhythmic that Ranboo could time his breathing on beat with when a hand would start at the top.

The beginning of their mansion, while extravagant and beautiful and so much larger than he ever would’ve dreamed of owning, was nothing more than a blotch of color as Ranboo’s eyes slipped half closed. He blinked lazily, eyelids heavy.

Everything was so so heavy and so so light and Ranboo wanted to stay like this forever. He wanted to feel Tubbo’s fingers in his hair and his chest against his back and the gentle rumbling when he laughed. He wanted to be able to purr, Enderman instincts slipping into the open without fear of judgement.

He wanted to be Tubbo’s friend forever.

Their comfortable ritual was broken as Tubbo’s hands fell away. Ranboo perked up a bit as Tubbo leaned forward, ready to hear what he had to say.

“See, I told you I could work wonders with these hands of mine,” Tubbo whispered, cut off by short giggles.

Ranboo tensed, hypnotic calm immediately washing away as Tubbo’s words sank in. He blushed furiously, instinctively jolting forward.

He didn’t get far, Tubbo’s arm wrapping around his chest, but it was the principle of the thing.

“Tub— Tubbo you can’t just say something like that!” Ranboo hissed.

Tubbo didn’t seem to care that much, resuming his gentle movements. Though now his little snickers ruined the moment, Ranboo tensing every time.

Okay. He took his previous wish back. Maybe he didn’t want to be Tubbo’s friend for eternity. Twenty years was more than enough.

Tubbo patted him jokingly on the cheek, and Ranboo sulked even harder, collapsing further into Tubbo’s lap like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Their marriage would be way shorter if they didn’t have Michael. Way shorter.

“...You never even said anything about your hands earlier,” Ranboo grumbled lowly, though his glare didn’t stay for long. He was always mush when it came to physical affection, and Tubbo’s... weird remark couldn’t fully take away from his bliss.

Tubbo stopped his soothing motions, instead starting to part Ranboo’s hair in the preparation of a braid.

“I know...”

Ranboo sighed, ready to put it behind him—

“But I sure was thinking it, big man.”

Ranboo scrambled upwards, managing to leap to his feet. He whirled dramatically, hair falling back into place and only half braided.

“I hate you. I really do. I do. There’s no one else on this planet that hates you as much as I do.”

Ranboo watched, arms crossed, as Tubbo pouted. He pushed his bottom lip out in that way he always did when farming for sympathy, eyes wide and sparkly.

“It’s just cuz I love youuuu,” he whined, “Don’t you love me?”

Then, before Ranboo could respond, Tubbo gasped dramatically, bringing a hand to his mouth and everything.

“Is this a loveless marriage??!?” Tubbo said, “I should’ve known after you only talked about taxes and Michael!”

Ranboo sighed, far too done to be flustered. He dragged a hand down his face slowly, trying to avoid looking at Tubbo’s puppy dog eyes.

“This was literally a platonic marriage for tax benefits. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Without missing a beat, Tubbo shrugged.

“I’ll have you know I now want a divorce,” he said, monotone and all too casual for what he was saying, “I’ll be dreaming of our separation tonight. It’ll be lovely.”

Ranboo, incredulous, opened his mouth to... answer him? Rebut? Snark back? He didn’t know, he was kind of on autopilot at this point. But then Tubbo shushed him, waving a hand towards the floor.

“Now, get back over here. You ruined your braid before I could finish.”

Slightly stunned, Ranboo didn’t hesitate before he drifted back into place like he’d been before.

Tubbo’s fingers were as gentle as ever, scarred but still nimble, and Ranboo soon could almost forget what they’d been talking about.

Almost. He was pretty sure Tubbo was eventually going to mentally scar him forever.

......Oh well. At least he’d get head pats and braids along the way.

That’s what marriage was for, after all.