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Tommy had expected his so-called friends to greet him with open arms, to ruffle his already tangled hair, to whisper sweet nothings, calming, loving sentences into his ear as they hug him tightly. But, for some unknown reason, to Tommy at least, it never happened. Coming back to life is a strange life experience, if you can ever call it that. It's long, kind of boring, a little bit painful and suffocating, like coughing up salty water after almost drowning in the ocean, the sound of imaginary waves still hitting your eardrum.
He half-expected Tubbo to jump onto him the moment he saw Tommy, to wrap him in a warm loving hug and never let go. He was ready to call him clingy but do nothing to make the horned hybrid let go, instead reciprocating the warm gesture, bathing in pure affection. Tommy missed the way Tubbo looked up at him with admiration, the countless sleepless nights they spent in their little tent under the endless azure sky doing nothing but talking, the semi-burned muffins the brunette had learned to make with the help of Badboyhalo.
Even if the others weren't exactly excited for Tommy's return - some would say many of them even despised the fact he was back - he always had Tubbo to count on, right?
Apparently, nothing is forever.
Tommy didn't get to see Tubbo, even hours after he reached his old home, the faint smell of gunpowder and the sweet aroma coming from Niki's bakery mixing in an odd way. Dangerous and safe, sour and sweet, filled with equally bad and good memories. And to Tommy, it all felt so familiar, so intimate, so refreshing from the cold obsidian walls. But something was still missing, the part that made this place feel like home; the presence of Tubbo.
Even the people who despised his return had gone awfully quiet when Tommy asked about Tubbo, murmuring under their breaths and changing the subject instantly, refusing to spend more time on the case than the absolute bare minimum. So far, Niki was the most helpful out of all of them, talking about the small brunette as if he was nothing but a sweet memory. It sent shivers down Tommy's spine but he stayed quiet as Niki filled his head with information, her tender voice carrying years of pain, destitution, and yearning for peace.
Turns out while Tommy was gone, Tubbo got married to no other but Ranboo himself. And to sum it up even more, they got a kid as well. While it left an odd aftertaste in Tommy's mouth - they made a promise to be each other's "flower girls" when the time comes -, he was somewhat relieved as well. At least Tubbo was not alone during his death arc.
And so, it's not a surprise he had found himself standing in front of Tubbo's and Ranboo's giant house - was it a mansion perhaps? - looking up at the seemingly endless walls nervously. He knocked once, then twice, stopping after the third to give time to whoever was home to open the door. He heard the faint sound of hooves hitting the hard wooden floor, the clicking sound reminding him of the time he had stayed with Technoblade. And, even if he had fucked up in the end, he still loved the memories the two of them made.
The dark, polished door opened, revealing a half-enderman half something else giant and the cutest piglin kid Tommy had ever seen. Ranboo's face was white like he had just seen a ghost - maybe he really thought he saw one for a second - the arms he carried the child with trembling ever so slightly.
"S-so the rumors are true, you really are back..." Ranboo's voice was uneasy, tainted, mixed with relief and grief. And maybe, just maybe, Tommy had wondered for a second why the tear marks on his cheeks seemed more deep and unkept.
"Yeah, yeah, I didn't come to see you. Where's Tubbo?" Ranboo had exhaled sharply, hugging the piglin to his chest more tightly, as if to hide behind the small child. And while it was hilarious - he was like, a thousand feet tall - the uneasy feeling in Tommy's chest remained.
"Hey, I hope you didn't do anything to him, you half this half that asshole!" he threatened.
"N-no, I didn't! I just don't think it's a great idea for you to see him right now"
"How? I'm his friend, why would it be bad to see him? I'm sure he misses me as well"
"R-right. Do you want to... uhm... come inside perhaps?" Ranboo asked, standing away from the door so the blond could come inside "I just want you to act natural. No acting like a ghost, or anything like that. Please" And who on earth was Tommy to say no to someone who looked at him like that?
The mansion was huge, even bigger than it looked from the outside. It looked expensive, clean, well polished and warm, the walls melting by the light coming from the huge crystal chandelier. Tommy didn't miss the way the small child kept looking at him from his dad's arms, hiding behind his right shoulder every time they made eye contact. Tommy smiled at the kid softly, trying to make his appearance as friendly as possible, even if the smudged blood on his face and his ripped clothes didn't sell the deal.
"Who built this place? I know Tubbo can build but no offense to you, but you can't build for shit"
"Oh, it was Foolish. You should visit the desert if you think this place is impressive" Ranboo chuckled softly, deciding to ignore the prickly comment. The three of them had gone upstairs, Ranboo dropping off the small piglin in one of the rooms filled with various toys and gold jewelry, "His name is Michael by the way," Ranboo smiled softly as if remembering a pleasant memory, "We found him alone in the Nether all beaten up. He's our son now."
"Yeah no shit, Niki kept talking about the little fucker." The blonde rolled his eyes but the fondness in his raspy voice had given him away, he really did like children. The two of them had attempted to make some small talk, failing miserably but so far this is the conversation Tommy had enjoyed the most. Ranboo didn't ask uncomfortable questions, didn't look at him with pity in his eyes, didn't treat him like a fragile object and most importantly; he didn't feel unwelcomed and unwanted here. It was refreshing, really, as they tried to talk, even if it was mostly silence and a bit awkward.
When Ranboo stopped in front of a closed room, Tommy naturally followed, he didn't even realize they had really walked until now. But now something was different, something seemed off. Ranboo, the awkward, friendly Ranboo is now quiet, looking at the door all so longingly. And Tommy could swear the bags under his eyes were deeper than before.
"Tommy, uh, I want you to not freak out, ok? Tubbo uh... Tubbo didn't take your death lightly and uhm... He's a little... Off? In a way?" Ranboo's voice was low, scratchy and dry like sandpaper, and his sudden change of emotion felt like Tommy had been slapped in the face. He gulped.
"Alright Big Man, I'm sure it's gonna be fine.." the blonde grinned hopefully, looking up to meet Ranboo's eyes, but the enderman hybrid just turned away, he didn't dare look into Tommy's blue crystals.
He slowly opened the door, the orange light running through the gap like it tried to escape from something. And Tommy finally saw his oh so long time friend, sitting in the middle of the green colored room, only his back facing the blonde. But something was off, something he couldn't exactly grasp his mind on just yet.
Tubbo, his Tubbo, seemed awfully distant, his shoulders weighed down by everything wrong in the world. As he rocked back and forth, his once short fluffy hair now draping his shoulders, quietly humming a sweet lullaby, Tommy had started to understand what Ranboo had meant. This is his Tubbo but not at the same time, someone oh so familiar yet dangerously unknown. Something had happened, something not so great and this is the first time Tommy had to seriously think of just how long he was dead. Dream had lied, it was more than a few days, it couldn't be less than a few months, maybe even a year?
The blonde could see a small doll in Tubbo's lap, the brunette squeezing the fabric like his life depended on it. The small toy looked exactly like Tommy - as much as a rag doll can resemble a person - from his wheat colored hair through his iconic red and white shirt to the exact shade of his eyes. The button eyes looked at him lifelessly, almost creepily, triggering Tommy's fight or flight response almost instantly. But still, he stayed, glued to the door frame, holding onto the strong wood with white knuckles.
Ranboo just looked at him with understanding in his mismatching eyes, slowly making his way to Tubbo. When the brunette saw him he smiled softly, opening his arms to get a loving hug from his husband. And Tommy could swear he has never seen Tubbo's frame so small before.
"Hey Tubso, how are you doing?"
"Tommy has been quiet, I haven't seen him around much." The brunette's voice was squeaky and hoarse, breaking after every other word. It reminded Tommy of the time he was sick with a cold, completely out of it because of his fever. But there was no fever this time, no cold, just the harsh reality that chilled him to the bone.
"That's great, that's great! Hey uh, there's someone I want you to see." Ranboo's voice was unsure and worried and for the first time since he arrived at the mansion, Tommy had realized why Ranboo was so scared of the idea of the two of them meeting. This Tubbo was not the same anymore, he was unhinged, unpredictable and abnormally dangerous.
"Oh yeah, who is it? Did you bring in Micheal?"
"No, not really. Look..." Ranboo stepped away, revealing Tommy, the blonde taking a step back by instincts as every pair of eyes landed on him. Tommy honestly didn't know what to expect. Maybe, just maybe, a part of his mind hoped it was all nothing but a twisted nightmare, hoped that his senses were all messed up and he was just seeing things.
But no, it was too real, the way Tubbo's smile melted from his face, the way his once sane, glistering eyes became cloudy and deep, the way he just... sat there, looking at him with wide eyes.
"Ra-Ranboo?"
"Yes Tubbo?"
"He's not there, right? Ranboo, the medicine is not working again... Ranboo?"
"Uh Tubbo, you see-"
"No, he can't be here! He's dead, he's dead, he DIED! You said he's not real then why is he here now??? He's dead, he's dead, he's dead!" the sound of shouting, a broken mind's last hope for help slowly filled the mute void, and Tommy could swear his heart just broke to a million pieces.
Because there was Tubbo, his Tubbo, shielded from the harsh reality by Ranboo's arms, forced to live in a world Tommy was not part of. As Ranboo swore Tommy was not there, hugging him tightly, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, the blonde could do nothing but slowly turning away, walking out of the mansion, shell-shock, the image of Tubbo slowly breaking down to a sobbing mess burned into the back of his mind.
Even when the mansion was nowhere to be seen anymore, Tubbo's broken shouts were still carried by the gentle afternoon breeze.
It really was a terrible idea to visit...