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wilbur never felt content. he thinks it's not him, it's just his bad luck with people and relationships. he's been in a number of relationships, ones that he hopes that'll never be not interesting but they always do. the flame flickers, and the happiness gets blown away with it.
at some point, he thinks that love never really lasts. the spark always leaves, and then it'll end. even if he says he'll never get into one again, he'll find himself coming back and looking for someone who he can always keep the light aflame.
and unfortunately, he doesn't. not even in alex.
alex’s eyes shut softly, lashes touching his undereyes. his breaths are slow and stable, and so is his heart beat.
boring.
it's boring to watch you sleep, wilbur thinks.
there's nothing interesting with alex sleeping, yet everytime he looks to his phone, his eyes walk home to alex.
wilbur lifts his hand close to alex’s cheek. he's reluctant, afraid to wake him up.
he’s better awake since wilbur actually has someone to talk to, he thinks.
but wilbur’s stuck in a paradox.
a knuckle grazes over alex’s cheek, and his face is already glowing pink. his fingers feel alex’s breath, it’s warm.
he scans alex’s sleeping face, the most relaxed state he ever sees alex. he'd always see alex as if you were getting chased by dogs, so now, he keeps as quiet as he can to let alex rest.
it makes him think again. what—why am i doing this?
he swallows, hesitant to pull his hand away from him. in the end, he does pull away, only to reposition his hand and caress his face, half of which filled and fit his hand perfectly like a mold.
he's sucked in his stomach and is holding his breath, trying so, so, hard not to handle him a little too roughly.
he doesn't realize that he's running out of breath until alex opens his eyes, first making their way to his as alex’s hands creep up and the tips of your fingers meet the back of his hand.
"hey," he gulps and blinks twice.
he only gets a hum as a response, and alex’s hand squeezing his and pressing it a little closer to his cheek for more warmth.
alex turns, and sleeps again holding his hand.
yeah, it's boring, he smiles.
his past relationships were all dull and so was this.
but wilbur stays, because as boring as this was, he still feels joy.