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alex quackity is everywhere.
technoblade sees his name plastered in the papers, but not once does it come conjoined with a notification, though still he holds hope each time techno's phone lights up. techno sees his face on billboards, bright and for all to see, but every night he falls asleep facing an empty bed, the memories of him by techno's side seem as if they’re slipping away. techno sees his entire squad on advertisements, citizens shining as the new ambassadors of whatever brand, but as techno glances around his apartment, techno wonders what there is actually his. alex feels like a ghost, everywhere and nowhere all at once.
his voice haunts techno. “you knew what you were getting into!” alex had yelled last week, voice rasping and breaths heavy, forced out of his lungs, “you were the one who confessed, you were the one who wanted this relationship. if i’d have known you’d be so desperate and selfish, i wouldn’t have--” techno stopped thinking.
or at least techno tries to. because between seeing alex on newspapers, billboards and advertisements, it’s awfully hard not to think of alex. briefly the thought of calling him slips into techno's mind and his hand shakes, itching to follow through. but the idea fades just as fast as it came, techno doubts he would pick up anyway.
stuck between ignoring thoughts and making up distractions in techno's head, he can’t remember falling asleep. but when he wakes, techno's eyes are heavy from shedding tears and his head is throbbing. relationship still in limbo, everything hurts; techno can’t help but miss alex.
techno would’ve slept on, more than willing to waste another day away in bed but the banging on his door is incessant, out of time with his heartbeat and he groans a loud and grumpy “coming!” before finally shuffling out of his room.
he hadn’t heard the calls from his own bed, voice muffled through the door. but techno's now fully exposed, frozen and away from his safe haven, air caught in his throat. fuck.
alex knows everything’s still messed up - his fault really - when a moment of silence passes, door refusing to budge and swing open as he so wishes it would. his brows furrow sharply, heartbeat thundering in his ear. god, he just wants to see techno's face.
“hello?” he tries again, unable to say techno's name, unable to stand the silence that came with the realization that he was at the other side of the door. his lip catches between his teeth as he strains, desperate to pick up a hint of techno.
techno's hurt reveals itself in floods and he hates how his eyes have begun to sting already. techno forces his voice to flatten, tone sharp as alex's had been when you reply, “what are you doing here? leave.” he knew alex wouldn’t (he hope alex wouldn’t), alex always been much too ambitious, much too persistent.
“i--i’m sorry…and i know that’s not enough but i…” alex trails off, he’d never been the best with words, “i missed you y’know?” his voice is but a whisper now, fingers trailing nervous patterns into techno's door. “i didn’t mean it at all, i just--” he’s struggling, words stuck and he swallows dryly, “please just open the door.”
the tears are thick and heavy as they spill from techno's eyes, rims overflowing at long last. it leaks into his voice, façade disappearing, leaving him sounding wobbly and wrong, “i don’t want to see you right now, quackity.”
alex lets out a heavy sob, fist hitting the door gently as he crumbles, repetitions of techno's name and apologies filling the space between his panicked cries. “no,” he chants, “’m sorry, i can’t--i can’t lose you, i love you please.”
techno was wrong, thinking he knew heartache before. because now, he feels his own heart splinter, deep fractures threatening to split it as they pass through his very core. and if it tells him anything, if he's willing to listen, alex can fix it, taking the time needed - and more - to mend every last bit of hurt he himself had caused. and when, finally, the pain feels too much and techno cannot bear to listen to alex cry any longer, he swings the door open, allowing him to stumble immediately into techno's arms, slightly disorientated by the bleary tears and the oncoming headache, but still fully aware he’d only feel better with techno in his arms. he bawls, undeserving of techno's comfort and love, and his tears seep into techno's skin, filling out the cracks in his heart. for alex wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, of that he was certain.