Chapter Text
He remembers pushing a button, in a virtual courtroom.
The other five say words to him but they seem to slip away.
And then.. nothing.
If he had to describe it, he would say it was like floating in the void.
He couldn't see. Couldn't hear. Couldn't feel.
He's not sure how long he stayed like this.
However.. Something changes. The darkness becomes lighter, and he can hear the faint noise of.. Is that the ocean?
“...Hey. Can you hear me?”
A voice. It sounds familiar. Slowly he opens his eyes to a bright blue sky and the sun shining down on his face. And there he is. The person who spoke.
Nagito looks at him for a moment before leaning back from Hajime’s sight. He sits up in shock. There’s no way- he saw his body- he saw the spear, the expression of horror, he heard the announcement- so what was he doing here?
The scene was similar to the day where they found themselves trapped upon this island. They were alone on the beach.
“Nagito? What are you doing here- what's going on?”
Nagito looks slightly taken aback by the sudden outburst before responding.
“Hmm.. where is “here”, exactly, Hinata-kun?”
Hajime paused before responding. “..What? We’re on the beach, but why, I thought it was over I thought we could leave-”
Hands were placed on his shoulders. There was a long pause that lasted maybe minutes or years. He couldn't tell.
“..If I had to give it my best guess, I would say that we’re nowhere. Somewhere in between the realms of consciousness and the very program that you are trying to escape. Perhaps that could give you some form of insight. I wouldn’t take any words from scum like me too seriously however.” A breathy laugh left his lips. The sun seemed too bright in that moment, leaving white edges around Hajime's vision.
Hajime brushed a piece of hair out of his eyes, hair that was just slightly longer than he could remember. Thats.. strange. Nagito had turned his head to look out at the ocean. The waves crashed against the shore and further down, against huge boulders that framed the island.
“Hinata-kun.” He spoke without turning back to meet Hajime’s eyes. “..I think you should leave here. It won’t be good for you to dwell on the past. To dwell on events that really, never even happened. It’s funny like that isn’t it? We never really woke up on Jabberwock island, the murder that I set up never happened, along with the others. I was never infected with the despair disease..I never trusted in my luck to catch the traitor... who didn't exist at all. Maybe it’s some twisted form of luck, that really, it never happened. Wouldn't that be funny?” He turned back to face Hajime, a small smile on his face.
“S- stop it. Stop saying those things-” His forehead started to throb with every word that Komaeda spoke.
“Ah, but I’m merely telling the truth, am i not?”
“Just- just shut up already-” Memories crowded into his head. Memories from someone else, someone not Hajime Hinata, someone who was talented, gifted beyond comparison. He didn't want those tainted memories, the memories of killing people for no reason other than pure boredom, the memories of despair and the continued spread of it with the help of his classmates. “God,Komaeda, just SHUT UP!”
“Mmm.. look what you’ve done, Hinata-kun.” He let his hands drop away from his forehead and looked around. Their surroundings were crumbling, turning to ash. The sky had gone gray and the sun was hidden behind clouds. A gentle breeze had gone from cooling, to chilling in a matter of seconds.
“Wh-what’s going on?” More portions of the beach were falling apart, getting closer to where the two of them sat.
“...It’s almost over. This strange place that you’ve created in your head. Maybe it’s supposed to be a form of escape. Or perhaps, you’ve gained the power to see ghosts?”
He smiled at the last comment before giving a slight shake of his head. “I’m not entirely sure what this place is Hinata-kun. I suppose it’s up to you to figure out. Ah, but when you wake up, could you please remove this for me?”
Nagito’s image gave a slight flicker, changing, his left hand replaced by a different one with false red nails. He held it up at this.
“..It doesn’t matter if you have to saw it off my dead body. Please, get it off of me” His gaze became more intense.
Hajime swallowed, before nodding.
“Thank you, Hinata-kun. It’s surprising that someone like you could do something so wonderful for trash like me. Ah.. It seems time is up now.”
Their surroundings had been reduced to a small patch of sand, the rest being complete darkness.
“Well then, I suppose it will be a while before we see each other again. In that regard, please take care of yourself. You’re more than just a reserve course student now.” His smile grew into a large grin.
Black edges creeped around the edges of Hinata’s vision. He tried to speak, only to find that there was nobody there anymore. The strange boy who had been the first one he talked to, who had been the one that scared Hajime more than he would ever admit, who had been the one who Hajime desperately tried to figure out, was gone.
The beach continued to shrink, to be swallowed by the growing darkness. And.. again, he fell into nothing.
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A loud beeping was the first noise to assault his senses. Olive and red eyes shot open only to be met with the lid of a pod.
Slight panic set in when Hajime realized he could hardly move due to the restrictions of the pod and the multitude of tubes sticking out of him.
An automated voice rang out inside, yet he hardly heard it. It mentioned something about staying stationary, something that his brain faintly registered.
He closed his eyes and let the pod detach him from its clutches.
--------------------
Climbing out of the pod proved to be a more difficult task than anticipated.
He was much taller than in the program, limbs thin and long. The most jarring part of the experience however, was the hair. His hair nearly reached the floor, long, black and slightly greasy at that.
It felt so wrong.
--------------------
Somehow, Hajime made his way out of the pod room, refusing to look at his sleeping classmates and stumbled to the nearest bathroom.
The sight that met him could only be described as horrific. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed in red, his body, littered in surgical scars, the most prominent of which ran across the top of his forehead.There were lines of blood running down his arms and staining the thin hospital gown he wore from the tubes. He looked thin and malnourished, sickly, yet surgically altered to be strong.
It was so very wrong.
This wasn't him.
Hajime Hinata was a tan boy around 179 centimeters, with olive green eyes and brown spiky hair.
He was not a malnourished monster.
He was not Izuru Kamakura.
Gripping the sink, he stared harder at himself in the mirror.
Fuck. God fucking damnit.
A pair of scissors laid innocently on the floor.
His hand closed around the blades before lifting them up to his head.
The scissors clattered in the sink.
The next sound to fill the stale air was that of glass breaking.
Slamming his fists into the mirror over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over to get rid of it-
Blood ran down his hands, seeping into the cracks of the sink.
The scissors were stained with blood.
Something in the back of his head made him pick them up before holding them in front of his face.
He began to snip away at the locks of hair.
In the back of his head, there was a small voice.
Ultimate Hairdresser, talent #312.
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The room holding the pods was cold, something told him it was below 20 degrees.
It didn't bother him.
A soft beeping was the only sound in the cold, dark room. Monitors lined the walls, connected to each pod.
He refused to look in the pods.
The monitors showed images of their occupants. Except.. they were happy. They were happy and having fun on the Jabberwock Island that haunted his dreams.
Sonia was speaking to both Souda and Gundham about something excitedly, waving her hands around in the air.
Souda was fiddling with pieces of metal,every now and then picking up a small stone to fit in the contraption.
Gundham was reviewing the notes strewn over the table with one of his hamsters.
When Kazuichi reached for the stone again, Gundham stopped his hand and placed one of his hamsters in the contraption.
It finally dawned on him that they were making racing cars for the small rodents.
The hamster started up the car and nearly fell off the table, but was quickly caught by Gundham. Sonia was laughing and smiling so impossibly wide at this sight.
He felt a small smile come to his face.
The next monitor showed Ibuki sitting on the edge of a huge stage. He recognized it as the scene of her death.
Mikan wrapped a bandage around Ibuki’s knee as she yelled something to Hiyoko, who was retying her dress after what seemed to have been a huge performance.
Once Mikan finished the wrapping, Ibuki shot up and tackled the timid girl in a huge hug, grinning just as widely as he remembered.
Mikan gave a small smile at this.
The other monitors showed similar scenes of joy, Peko and Fuyuhiko playing chess while watching the sun set over the ocean, Teruteru placing dish after dish of food on a huge table for Imposter to taste, Akane and Nekomaru holding one of their usual training sessions, and afterwards cooling off by swimming in the ocean.
Finally, he reached the last two monitors.
One of them, he knew, was connected to an empty pod.
The other, however, showed images of a bright sea and.. himself. He was smiling in the images, leading along the person who was experiencing it, the monitor in first person for whatever reason.
Hajime watched as the virtual version of himself led the camera to a sheltered cove by the ocean.
In there, it was dark and peaceful, lit only by strands of light filtering through the rocks.
Watching them sit down on a rock, he realized that his avatar was holding hands with the viewer.
They talked for a while. As they did, a beam of light illuminated his virtual self from behind. Simply put, he looked ethereal.
He could guess whose monitor this was.
The him in the monitor was constantly smiling, friendly and open. He laughed easily and looked at the camera in adoration.
Is this what he wanted?
The angle of the camera changed from first person to third person.
He had been right in his guess.
Nagito Komaeda was the one connected to this monitor.
The Nagito on screen looked so much healthier then the one he knew. His skin was more rosy, less sickly and pale. He looked to have put on more weight, losing the gaunt cheeks he had in the program. What was most surprising, was the light brown roots sprouting from the base of his white mass of hair.
His hair was tied back, and he had lost the long green jacket he constantly wore.
So this was his dream? The visions on the monitors seemed to be an ideal, an escape while those connected to them struggled to bridge the worlds of consciousness and the Neo World program.
Hajime remembered his ideal.
The two on the monitor in front of him got up to leave the cove, and Hajime in turn turned to the last monitor, but not before something caught his eye on Nagito’s monitor.
His virtual self had leaned in and pecked Nagito on the cheek before leaving the cove.
Hajime stilled for a moment. The Nagito on the screen stared at the opening at the cove for a moment before smiling and dashing out after his ideal.
Ah fuck.
Maybe he should have listened when Nagito said “he was in love with the hope that slept inside of him.”
He didn't have time for this, complicated feelings could wait- he needed to see the last monitor.
Turning to it, he inhaled sharply at the sight.
The monitor showed a class party. Chiaki sat at a table with him, Sonia, Gundham, Kazuichi and Nagito. The other students had seated themselves around the other two tables in the old building.
She was smiling. Laughing, eating along with the rest of them.
Something in his chest twisted at the sight.
However, she seemed to hesitate before excusing herself from the table. The camera followed her outside where she turned and faced it directly. A text box appeared on the screen, startling him.
Chiaki Nanami
-Can I help you?-
A strangled noise escaped Hajime’s throat. His head throbbed and memories of her came rushing to the front of his head.
Stumbling over wires, he reached for the keyboard and typed as fast as he could.
???
-My name is Hajime Hinata.-
She seemed to read this and pulled a contemplative face.
Chiaki Nanami
-Hello Hajime Hinata. Can I help you with something?-
Hajime Hinata
-Do you remember me?-
Her face became slightly more confused at this.
Chiaki Nanami
-There is only one result of ‘Hajime Hinata’ in my database. It is a short profile. Would you like me to read it to you?-
-YES
-NO
He clicked on the yes option and waited.
Chiaki Nanami
-Hajime Hinata. The former identity of the person known as Izuru Kamakura. Average in every way possible. Enrolled in Hope’s peak academy’s reserve course. Had a friendly relationship with a few main course students from class-77, including Chiaki Nanami. However, after undergoing the treatments that led to him becoming Izuru Kamakura, the main course students had no recognition of him.-
Honestly, what was he expecting? This wasn’t her. It may look and act like her, but in reality, the Chiaki in front of him is just a computer program.
He slumped slightly over the keyboard.
The AI seemed to notice the long pause and sent another message.
Chiaki Nanami
-Was that answer not to your satisfaction? I can provide a different variation if that is desired.-
He gave a small exasperated laugh at the text before typing a short response.
Hajime Hinata
-No, thank you for the answer.-
She gave a small smile at this, placing her hand over her heart just as he remembered.
Chiaki Nanami
-I am glad I was able to provide assistance. I wish you a good rest of your day, Hajime.-
At this, the text box disappeared and she turned away from the camera back to the old building.
Tired laughs filled the pod room. They turned more ragged as Hajime sank down to the floor. He leaned against the empty pod and traced his fingers over the tiles in the floor.
Goddamnit.