Chapter Text
Beetlejuice: Rules are made to be broken.
Charles: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Lydia: Uh, piñatas.
Delia: Glow sticks.
Barbara: Karate boards.
Adam: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Beetlejuice: Rules.
Charles:
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Lydia: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Adam: What if it bites itself and I die?
Beetlejuice: That’s voodoo.
Barbara: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Delia: That’s correlation, not causation.
Adam: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Beetlejuice: That’s kinky.
Lydia: Oh my God.
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Lydia: Nothing in life is free.
Delia: Love is free!
Barbara: Adventure is free.
Adam: Knowledge is free.
Beetlejuice: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
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Adam: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Delia: Tubular AF!
Barbara: Mood to the max!
Charles, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Lydia, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
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Lydia: Favorite horror movie?
Delia: It
Charles: Saw
Adam: Annabelle
Beetlejuice: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
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Lydia: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
Adam: I don’t know how to do that.
Barbara: I don’t wear a watch.
Beetlejuice: Time is a construct.
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Lydia: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
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Lydia: I prevented a murder today.
Delia: Really? How’d you do that?
Lydia: self control.
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Lydia: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Delia: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Lydia: No! Four to five seconds!
Delia: Too late!!!
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Lydia: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Beetlejuice: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
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Lydia: *Screams*
Beetlejuice: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Delia: Should we do something?!
Charles, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
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Beetlejuice: Don't worry, I have a permit.
Charles:... This just says "I can do what I want."
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Lydia: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Barbara: >:O language
Delia: Yeah watch your fucking language
Charles: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DELIA THE FUCK WORD?
Beetlejuice: 'The fuck word'.
Adam: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Beetlejuice: Oh my god he censored it
Lydia: Say fuck, Adam.
Beetlejuice: Do it, Adam. Say fuck.
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'Can I copy the homework?'
Adam: I can help you with it!
Charles: Yeah, sure.
Delia: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Beetlejuice: lol nope.
Barbara: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Lydia: *Read 5:55pm*
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Adam: Hewwo.
Barbara: Hihiiiiii!
Delia: Greetings, Humans.
Charles: Three kinds of people.
Lydia: I want pudding.
Charles: Four kinds of people.
Beetlejuice: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?
Charles: Five kinds of people.
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Lydia: We need to distract these guys
Beetlejuice: Leave it to me
Beetlejuice: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Adam, Delia, and Barbara: *Immediately begin arguing*
Charles, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
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Lydia: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.
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Charles: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck
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Lydia: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Beetlejuice: You mean literally or figuratively?
Lydia: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
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Lydia: Go to Hell
Beetlejuice, tearing up: I wish I could
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Delia: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Lydia: Delia, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
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Barbara: Wake me up…
Adam: Before you go go!
Beetlejuice: When September ends…
Lydia: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-
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Lydia: Truth or dare?
Beetlejuice: Dare
Lydia: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Beetlejuice: Hey Barbara
Barbara, blushing: Yeah?
Beetlejuice: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Adam
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Barbara: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Barbara and Adam, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Lydia: Our turn, Beetlejuice! One, two, three- vanilla!
Beetlejuice, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
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Lydia, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Beetlejuice, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Barbara, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Adam, trembling: What are we playing
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Lydia: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Beetlejuice: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Barbara: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Adam: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
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Lydia: Tonight, one of you will betray us.
Adam: Is it me, Lydia?
Lydia: No, it’s not you.
Barbara: Is it me, Lydia?
Lydia: It’s not you either.
Beetlejuice: Is it me, Lydia?
Lydia:
Lydia, mockingly: Is IT mE Lydia?