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Bucky sighs as he grabs his bag. He glances at Steve’s bed one more time before heading out the door. They were supposed to do this whole college thing together, the way they had always done everything together ever since they met in kindergarten. He used to know Steve better than he knows himself and they used to be so attached. Where one went, the other was quick to follow. But lately he is lucky if he catches just a glimpse of Steve. It sucks. It’s not like Bucky doesn’t have any other friends, he has Natasha who takes American History and Russian with him, he has Wanda who he met in the library, and he has Sam who is in the same dorm building as him and Steve. So he’s not on his own, he just really expected to do all of this with Steve. And he knows Steve is busy and he knows football is important to Steve - mainly because his scholarship depends on it - and that the season just started. And he’s happy that Steve found himself a boyfriend, really. Okay, so maybe that was a lie. Maybe Bucky’s heart had broken into a million pieces when Steve said he started dating Brock. Bucky’s half convinced Brock is secretely a nazi and even if he wasn’t, it still hurt that the guy he’d been in love with since he was 14 was in love with someone else.
He tells himself to shake out of it - he has classes to attend after all - and sends Steve a quick text to ask if he’ll be in their dorm room later. Steve sends him a text back asking if Bucky wants to attend practice. Bucky has never been able to say no to him, so he knows he will be there. He’ll ask Nat to come along for moral support. He will need it. Especially because Brock will definitely be around too considering he's also on the team.
Bucky tries to focus on his first class. It’s American History and while he thinks he’s missing half of it, at least Nat is taking good notes. His arm starts hurting halfway through class - phantom pains, he's been getting them ever since he lost his arm in an accident 3 years ago. Sometimes he still gets shaken up by it. Gets frustrated, too, by the ableism he faces and the things he struggles with. Sometimes he just gets jealous and angry, especially when he remembers that he likely could have had that football scholarship. It’s stupid, he doesn’t even really like football all that much. He only watches games because Steve’s on the team. Bucky has always been more interested in science and books. According to some of Steve’s new friends, and especially his boyfriend, that makes him a nerd. They of course don’t dare to say it when Steve’s around, he would verbally - and well probably physically - fight them. There are some good guys on the football team as well, Bucky’s sure of it, they just never seem to be the ones he runs into. Except for Steve and Riley who's dating Sam.
“Are you okay, James?” Nat asks after class. Bucky just shrugs. “I will send you my notes tonight. I have English next. You have Physics now right?”
“Yeah,” Bucky says. “Uhm. Steve asked me to come to his practice this afternoon. Wanna come along?”
Nat gives him a sad look and gently puts her hand on his shoulder. “Of course,” she says, “I will be there. Is he still going out with that Rumlow guy? Maria, Rhodey, and Maria say he gives them the creeps.”
“He gives me the creeps too. But there’s something Steve sees in him apparently,” Bucky sighs.
“Maybe he has a big dick?” Nat suggests, “Because I am pretty sure it’s not his charming personality.”
Bucky snorts. "Love makes people blind, right?" he says sadly.
They say their goodbyes and head to their next classes. As promised Nat meets him after class to go to the football field. They settle down on the bleachers. Nat grabs a bottle of water from her backpack, opens it, and hands it to Bucky who takes a big sip as Steve and his team enter the field.
Steve looks like shit. So does Brock. He's got a bloody nose and he keeps glaring at everyone around him. The glares aren't exactly new, but the bloody nose is. The way Steve keeps glaring at Brock is new too. The entire team seems to be. Bucky wonders what happened.
"Trouble in paradise?" Nat wonders.
"Maybe. Could be something else though…" Bucky says.
Practice has only really just started but the entire team seems agitated, including their coach Nicholas Fury. He was a former professional football player turned college coach. According to everyone he was tough but always fair.
"Enough!" Coach Fury bellows. "Rumlow you are off the team. Rogers take a breather."
Brock yells at the coach, curses, then pushes Steve. Steve stumbles for a moment. He looks like he's gearing up for a fight, but then just shakes his head. Bucky lets out a relieved breath, until he realises Brock is now stalking towards him and Nat. Bucky feels his body freeze. He can only watch as Brock comes closer, Steve and his teammates chasing after him. Nat stands up.
"You're gonna let a girl stand up for you?" Brock sneers.
Steve and his teammates are standing behind him now.
"That's just as pathetic as your little crush on Steve," Brock says, "but he didn’t want you? Did he?" he grins. "And what about you little girl, you think you can fight me?"
Nat cracks her knuckles. Bucky knows she’s been doing martial arts since she was a tiny kid - something about her former guardians being obsessed with training her and turning her into a perfect little fighter. In any case it means that she is capable, much more capable than Brock assumes she is, and he is going to regret taunting her. Nat does not pull her punches. She has Brock writhing and crying on the ground in no time. She’s basically crushing him with her thighs until Coach Fury tells her to stop.
“Please don’t kill him on my football field, Miss Romanov. The paperwork is horrendous,” he says, “now all of you leave. Practice is cancelled for the day. Rumlow, don’t bother coming back. I will be notifying the dean.”
"I shall let him live today," Nat says calmly as she gets up.
"Thank you Miss Romanov." Coach Fury shakes his head.
Everyone quickly leaves the field after that. Bucky and Steve walk Nat to her dorm and then walk back to their own in silence. Steve’s face looks like it’s made of stone and Bucky knows he shouldn’t push him, not yet. He knows Steve will tell him what happened with Brock, what is plaguing his mind, but he will do so at his own speed. Bucky knows this because even after the last few months he still knows Steve. At least he hopes he does.
Back in their dorm Steve plops down on Bucky’s bed. Bucky grabs them both cans of soda and then plops down next to Steve.
"Do you want to talk about it? he asks gently.
Steve sighs. "It's not that I thought Brock was the one or anything. I mean he never wanted to do the things I like and he thought museums were too boring and I don’t think he knows the library exists but I really thought he was a less shitty person," he says sadly.
Bucky doesn’t say anything about what he and others have been saying and thinking for months. He's pretty sure Steve knows by now anyway.
"What happened?" he asks instead.
"Brock started making comments about you and Sam that were… unrepeatable. Riley punched him and I broke up with him and well… you were pretty much there for the rest."
"I'm sorry he turned out to be a dick," Bucky says and finds himself meaning it.
"I think I was mostly with him because I wanted someone to like me. He was the first guy to be interested in me, you know?"
Bucky shakes his head. "Not the first, Steve," he says softly.
"Buck?" Steve says. "Was he speaking the truth back there? Do you like me?"
"I've liked you for a good couple of years now, Stevie. You just never showed any interest," Bucky smiles sadly.
"Fuck…" Steve says. "I thought you weren't interested in me, that you just wanted to be my friend. So I tried to move on."
"I liked being your friend, I like it now even when you date assholes. But I've always hoped we could be more than friends. I asked you to prom with me Steve and you said no and next thing I know we are in college and you're introducing me to Brock," Bucky’s voice breaks a little.
"I'm sorry Buck," Steve says and his voice is so full of sincerity, of regret, that Bucky has no choice but to believe him.
"Do you still… if you liked me, then, do you still like me now?" Bucky asks softly.
Steve reaches out and puts his hand on Bucky’s cheek, "I do," he says, "I do. More than anyone or anything. You're my home, my best friend."
Bucky smiles at him. Finds him leaning into Steve’s touch, his warmth. He feels warmer than he has all semester. Righter than he ever has.
"Well, then maybe you should kiss me," he says.
And Steve does. He presses his lips against Bucky’s. Bucky gives him access easily. Steve’s a good kisser and Bucky ignores where he got his practice in and just focuses on how good it feels. Kissing Steve is like coming home. This is everything Bucky has wanted in a very long time and it's even better than he imagined.
They part for air. Bucky buries his face in Steve’s stupidly gorgeous chest and Steve wraps his arms around Bucky. He presses a soft kiss into Bucky’s hair.
"So you wanna be boyfriends?" he asks.
"I want nothing more than that," Bucky says. "I'm gonna take you to that art museum just outside of town and you know I do know my way around the library. I just… I'm gonna treat you right."
"I'm gonna treat you right too," Steve promises.
Bucky moves around so he can kiss Steve again. He could really get used to this. They fall asleep while cuddling. It is exactly where they both belong.