Archive of Our Own

I worry about him. Constantly. He finds this hard to believe, but I speak in earnest. You, my reader, on the other more sympathetic hand, will understand me, because you appreciate the responsibility I am faced with. A phenomenon deeply rooted in history; the burden of the older brother. It’s not something Sherlock has ever bothered to empathize with. But I suppose he can’t be blamed for this.

You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart

I am ten years his senior and as such, we have never had that typical brotherly relationship one would expect brothers to have. But he is my brother and as such I feel, to a certain extent, responsible for him.

It wasn’t easy for him, growing up. He must have looked up at me when he was younger. I was merely twenty when I graduated from university, cum laude, and with an honorary scholarship. At twenty-two I had set up my own small business.  My unique understanding of the world was at the heart of its success and my business grew considerably in a relatively short amount of time.

May be in magazines
But you'll still be my star

I have always considered myself somewhat of a patriot and when Queen and Country beckoned, I listened and I obeyed. Thus, I became the youngest member of staff the government ever employed in the position I was offered (and forgive me the impolite lack of information, but all is classified).

I work for the security of England. That is all you need to know. For this purpose I have a personal assistant, an automobile with blackened windows and a driver and access to most security cameras in England.

My brother has often and accusingly called me a stalker. I don’t quite see it that way. I may have, at times, held great interest in his whereabouts, but never to that obsessive extents he seems to think, and only when he needed me.

Baby cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

That is what I do. I guard him, I help him, I keep him out of trouble. The burden of the older brother, but necessary. So necessary in my brothers case.

He has never shone or excelled in the manner I have. He was quiet and introvert as a child. At university, he was never the model student I was. He chose chemistry as his subject, but he wasn’t interested in grades. Instead, he was more interested in keeping his mind filled with rubbish. Intellectual rubbish, chemical rubbish, but never anything of use.

I ushered him through university. I helped him. I pushed forward friends that would be beneficial for him, subjects that would interest him, connections that would be of significance to him. He wanted nothing of them.Sometimes, he preferred to stare at the ceiling, mourning his boredom, instead of going out and doing something useful. His moods would become so dark, so deep, that I feared for his mind.I tried to get him interested in government. The problems we face are intricate and complex enough to occupy a larger brain. They should, so I thought, interest him.

They did not. But I stood my ground. We are brothers.

My only aim is to protect him. From the world. From himself.

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

If anyone were privy to my files within the government – and forgive me the smile upon my face, for the notion is quite ridiculous – they would see I have upped the surveillance level of a mister S. Holmes eight times in seven years. He ranks with the most wanted of criminal minds in England. It’s deeply saddening, but it’s true. It’s necessary. I am responsible for him where he fails to be it for himself.

These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for Infinity

Once he laughed in my face and asked me if I didn’t know that he knew I had him watched. I have to admit, I denied the accusation, but I wished only to reassure him.

Thus began that ridiculous feud he claims between us. Such a resentful young man. Such a pointless discussion.

When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart
Because

I don’t understand him, or why he denies himself the brilliance he could be capable of. He fills his head with trivia, useful only in police investigations and inquiries. He conducts experiments, the nature of which is gruesome and the result of which would only procure a minor mention in a lesser scientific paper. If anything. More than likely it will be discarded; not relevant, not duplicable, not explainable.

No experiment he does will stand in the court of law. He has had four years of training in science and the application of science within the law and yet he refuses to conduct experiments in any official setting. A laboratory, a validated working space. Basics.

Rather than joining a police force and putting his mind to work in an official capacity, he catches criminals in the most dramatic sense.

But, after all, after everything, I am and will always be there for him.

When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end

His recent alliance to Dr. John Watson is peculiar to say the least. My brother has never worked well in teams, nor has he ever shown any inclination to forming friendships. Now the two can be named in the same personal pronoun; Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. Adjoined to the hip.
It will last for as long as it will last. I hold some faith in the doctor, but I cannot predict how long his patience and tolerance will last. And should the good doctor ever leave, I will be there for my brother.

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

You can run into my arms
It's OK don't be alarmed
Come here to me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because

I will leave it at this, because I feel you have come to understand me. My burden is heavy, but I take it, as I must. I watch, I tolerate, I usher, I guide, I protect.

I am always there for him.

I am always there.

When the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella