Chapter Text
When Stella arrived home, she left her briefcase on the floor by the door, quietly tossed her keys onto the hall table, and kicked off her stilettos before silently padding up the stairs to her bedroom in her stockings. Her morning at the office was more tiring than she anticipated, suppressing morning sickness while combing through case notes, and discussing certain points with people here and there had drained her energy. After dashing from a mid-morning meeting to throw up the fruit she had been recently picking at, she gave in and returned home.
It was nearing midday, and the air in their upstairs bedroom was warm with the summer sun pressing against the closed curtains. As she expected, she found Scully still fast asleep nestled in bed, curled up on her side, red hair fanning out across the pillow. Yearning for comfort she fought the urge to curl up under the covers behind her and wrap an arm around the redhead spooning her, but she knew it would wake her, and after a night on the emergency room Dana needed her sleep. Sighing contently, she climbed up gingerly and lied down on top of the covers doing her best not to disturb the bed too much. Scully had been on night shifts at St Barts for the last four days, usually arriving home in the morning just as Stella was leaving for the office. She would likely sleep until around 3pm, and Stella didn’t want to disrupt that. They had barely seen each other all week, and the last thing she needed while she was hormonal and sick, was an agitated sleep deprived spouse.
“You’re home early.” Scully stirred groggily and flickered her eyes open, confusion melding with her sleepiness.
“I'm sorry. I tried not to wake you.” Stella sighed gently as she snuggled into the pillows and allowing her weary eyes to close. The comfort of the bed inviting her into a soft embrace as her exhaustion fused into it, anchoring her there.
“Everything okay?” Scully asked sensing the more sombre hush to Stella’s mood.
“I don’t feel well.” She replied in a subdued tone without shifting or opening her eyes, the ever-present nausea pressing her to rest.
“What’s the matter?” She asked, more awake now and showing mild concern in her tone.
“Just morning sickness, I think.” Stella murmured softly. “I was ill at work.” She added after a beat.
“I hope it wasn’t embarrassing.” Scully replied.
She could hear through Scully’s voice the slight smile that appeared on the redheads features whenever her pregnancy was mentioned.
“No. I was discrete enough to avoid any awkward questions. I thought I should come home and rest though.” Stella replied softly. She felt the redhead shift under the sheets beside her and then felt the back of a hand on her forehead.
“How do you feel now?” Scully asked. “Do you feel warm?” The doctor in her was always checking on her, which was slightly annoying at times, but she allowed her to fuss, it made her feel safe. Especially now she was pregnant.
“No. Just queasy.” Stella whispered as she stirred and fidgeted free of her wife’s hand.
“Mmm okay.” She mused, the redhead’s tone now slightly more at ease.
She took a deep breath and relaxed allowing Dana to toy with a loosely curled strand of her creamy locks before lifting it from her face as she observed her.
“How about I make you some tea?” Scully offered gently.
She felt the covers shift and the bed move as her wife started getting up.
“No…” She declined mildly as she opened her eyes lifting her head from the pillows and reached out for her, catching her wife’s hand in hers before she stood. She didn’t want her to leave, she wasn’t usually emotionally clingy like this but she felt vulnerable and wanted Scully to stay with her, just for the comforting company. “…stay with me a while longer.” She begged, her aquamarine eyes gazing up languidly meeting Scully’s ocean blue ones.
She saw the redhead visibly soften in sympathy as she eased herself back down placing a tender hand on her arm rubbing gently, copper locks spilled around her as she snuggled her head into the pillows beside her. Stella closed her eyes and relaxed feeling content as her wife watched her, she exhaled a deep breath beside her.
They laid there together in a calm silence for a while, Stella’s chest rising and falling rhythmically with her breathing. She felt Scully’s occasional touch while watching her, toying with a strand of her blonde hair, or rubbing a hand up and down her bicep comfortingly. Although she was resting, her nausea wasn’t showing any signs of abating and it was upsetting her rest.
“Dana…” She began nervously, opening her eyes, her mind stirred up a whirl of anxiousness she was trying desperately to tame.
“Yes.” Scully responded lazily, still observing her.
“What if I lose this baby?” She asked pensively as she shifted and rolled onto her back, her eyes now dancing around the ceiling. Her concern had been brewing for a while now. Even though she was now well and truly feeling the effects of early pregnancy they weren’t entirely out of the woods yet. She was still only eight weeks along, they had a long journey ahead of them, and anything could happen. She wanted to be realistic about the future and hoped the question didn’t seem as though she was harboring anxieties over the topic. Even if she was.
“You shouldn’t worry about that.” Dana reassured her placing a hand gently on her still flat belly and rubbing soothingly. “Just enjoy this as it is now…” She breathed. “... we’re lucky, and it’s a small miracle that we could do this.” She reassured her. “Your body is working very hard to grow our little one in there so its no wonder you’re feeling tired and sick. Don’t stress about what could happen, it’s not good for you or the baby. Everything will be fine, and even if it isn’t, I’ll be here for you.”
She sighed and glanced over at Scully, her wife’s long copper hair was spilling over the pillow with frizzy fly-away’s sitting at odd angles from the last several hours of sleep. She felt guilty for waking her and voicing her concerns. She was struggling to accept the hope that her body could safely grow and carry a baby to term but it was just her mind running away on her, and she wouldn’t let it. She was fit and healthy, there was no reason why she couldn’t.
“Are you in emergency again tonight?” She asked changing the subject. Scully was assigned to both A&E and one of the general care wards, working in whichever needed staff the most. She said that after the years on the X-files at the FBI, there was nothing a patient could present with in ER that could surprise her. Even as a constable Stella herself had been exposed to her fair share of illness and accidents; bodies pushed to the limit by abuse, or drugs, or desperate circumstance. Since rising the ranks and making detective she’d seen far worse.
“I’m not on tonight.” Scully replied. “Rotating roster.” She clarified. “I’m on evenings from tomorrow, so you’ll have to fend for yourself for dinner for the next few days.” The redhead smirked.
“Mmph” She grumbled, uncomfortably acknowledging the rising nausea, and rubbing her stomach in an attempt to suppress it. “I don’t know about that, if this keeps up, I won’t be eating much.” She added fidgeting irritably. A wave of nausea washed over her reaching a critical point unsettling her further. She pushed herself up slowly enough to avoid dizziness and shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, leaning elbows on her knees, and bowing her head. She felt rotten, so rotten she was potentially in danger of actually puking for the second time today. She closed her eyes and took a couple of solid slow breaths as she willed the nausea to pass.
“Hey, you okay?” Scully asked from the bed behind her, noticing the change in her.
“Feel sick.” She whispered over her shoulder delicately. “Again.”
“I’ll get you some water.” Scully replied pointedly, already moving to get up out of bed.
Stella remained where she was, head bowed, forehead resting on her fingertips, elbows on knees while Scully filled a glass in their adjacent bathroom and brought it back to her. She felt the redhead tuck a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as she handed over the glass. She took a few gulps of water while Scully sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. The water helped momentarily, it felt cool and fresh in her mouth offering a soothing chill, but once that sensation had passed, her stomach suddenly realized there was something in it, and it decided it didn’t like it. She leapt up and b-lined it to the toilet just in time as her stomach emptied itself with Scully close on her heels. Leaning over the toilet miserably she thankfully felt her long blonde hair being scooped up and twirled around her wife’s fingers out of her face and into a bun. Even though she was only vomiting up water it was still disgusting. She felt dirty and cold crouched kneeling on the hard tiles.
“You should have some more to drink” Scully said from behind her when she paused and breathed.
“I’ll just bring it up again.” She croaked in protest, thinking it absurd that her wife wanted her to consume something at present.
“Better that than your stomach lining, trust me.” Scully gently emphasized the last two words sounding very doctor like.
She conceded - which was rare - and decided to take her advice, accepting the glass of water that was handed down to her. The cool liquid slipped down her throat smoother than she suspected it would as she sipped at it, but another wave of nausea was hitting so she paused and put it down. She took a few deep slow breaths in an attempt to supress it and was vaguely aware of her tight pencil skirt loosening as Scully reached her spare hand down to unzip the back of it. She was sick twice more with slightly more vigour than the first and Scully remained holding her twirled blonde bun while the other hand gently rubbed comforting circles across her back.
She cleared her throat and spat the last of it into the bowl before reaching for something to wipe her mouth.
“Finished?” She heard Dana query softly behind her.
She nodded without looking up while she dabbed at her mouth, still not entirely sure that was going to be the end of it. Scully reached over her head and pressed the flush leaver as she loosened her grip on her hair. As it flushed, she shifted her position so she could stand. She awkwardly held onto her loosened skirt as Scully helped her up, it was slipping down and made it difficult to move while she climbed to her feet. Her wife’s hands followed hers and once she was standing, she allowed Scully to take hold of it and shimmy the skirt down over her hips, pooling it at her feet. Feeling unsteady and very empty, she leaned a heavier hand on Scully’s shoulder than she normally would as she stepped out of it slowly.
“I’m going to take a shower.” The redhead whispered looking up at her from knee level. “Would you like to join me?” She asked rising and tossing the skirt aside, glancing at her expectantly with brilliant blue eyes.
She felt jittery and weak from being sick, the nausea was yet to pass, and her body was begging her to rest. She undid a few of her blouse buttons with shaky hands and shook her head sadly.
“I need to lie down.” She replied solemnly, reluctantly breaking eye contact as she continued to undo the buttons. She was tired enough to sleep, even at this time of day but she felt guilty turning her down – albeit unwillingly - they were barely able to spend time together when Scully was on night shifts, but she just didn’t feel up for it.
“Mmm, okay.” The redhead whispered understandingly, reaching her hands out she pulled her into a loose hug. Stella let her open blouse hang and melted up against the warmth of her wife’s touch, grateful she had someone she could dissolve into whenever she felt weak, or unwell, or vulnerable. Not just while she was pregnant, but all the time, for forever. They hovered there for a few seconds reveling in the sentimentality of the moment before Scully planted another kiss on her forehead and ran a hand through her hair.
“I’ll get you something comfortable.” The redhead said softly before breaking off and disappearing into the bedroom momentarily.
She pulled the white silken blouse off and undid her bra, freeing her tender breasts from their constriction. Nearly naked she slipped her beige stockings down and moved to sit on the side of the bed to pull them off her feet. Scully returned with an old t-shirt and soft cotton pajama pants which she assisted her into by squatting down and allowing her to lean heavily once more on her shoulder while she stepped into them.
“I hope you feel better soon.” Scully said planting one more kiss on her forehead and sweeping a hand through her hair before pulling back the covers for her to wriggle under them.
She allowed her body to meld into the sheets as soon as she laid down and she felt tension within her melt out as she relaxed.
A few moments later the steady drone of Scully’s shower water running in the room adjacent lulled her into a light sleep.