Archive of Our Own

The knocking on his front door startled Alex out of his moping. He suspected it was just Nora coming over with some crappy movie and ice cream to help cheer him up just as she did with June when they were younger and starting out in the dating scene. June had gone through a few tough breakups but Alex only remembers June’s breakup with Evan the clearest because it involved Nora coming over once a day for a month and a half. There was a lot of screaming and crying from June, comforting words, and average teenage relationship statistics from Nora, and confusion from Alex. June was the one to end it with Evan anyway.

Alex wasn’t going through a breakup though. 

So maybe opening his door to Henry soaking wet from the pouring rain should be a concern or even it could be funny, but after all this time it shouldn’t be surprising. Except it is. Except he should be on a plane on his way to London. Except everything about this moment seems too good to be true and that this has to be some sick joke the universe is playing on him to never allow him the chance to understand and grow accustomed to their new relationship dynamic, Or maybe it’s simply just a dream.

But it’s not, because his whole world snaps back into place when Henry says, “Hi.” 

“Hi.” says the new boy in his class. He has a funny accent, unlike anything he’s heard in person before. And he’s been to every important state in America. “I’m Henry. I was told we were partners for a project?”

“Yeah, my last partner was Liam, and as much as I respect his intelligence, he can and should do this with someone more… similar in knowledge.” The boy, Henry, looked as if he expected him to explain more. “Okay fine, we did the project last week but it wasn’t up to Mr. Mills’ standards.” Henry still looked at Alex as if he was hiding the location of the Lost City of Atlantis. Realistically, he probably didn’t understand the assignment. “We are supposed to do a presentation on Global Warming. Last time I discussed my mom’s plans to help our community in this crisis, but ‘becoming a candidate for Mayor’s spokesperson’ didn’t cut it. He thinks we should have had more fun with it. What’s fun about Global Warming?” Alex ranted until noticing the boy continued to stare at him in confusion. British people must not be the brightest. “What? You understand me right?” Alex said in a fake British accent. 

Henry looked at him for a second longer before nodding and laughing a bit, “Yes, yes. I understand you fine. You just never told me your name. I was essentially just given directions to your desk.”

“Oh. Alex. My name is Alex.” Henry smiled as if he just heard the best name in the world. Too bad there are at least seven other Alexs in their grade alone. Wow, British people are odd.

“Odd to see you here,” Alex chokes out. He’s in shock. 

“Is that okay?” Henry asks. He hasn’t moved, still standing outside the door in the rain. Alex could see his hands shaking from the cold. 

Shaking his head he pulls Henry inside and into a tight hug, Alex sobs, “what the fuck are you doing here. How the fuck are you here?” 

“I couldn’t leave, love. I couldn’t leave.” 

Alex looks up at Henry, tears, and rain dripping down his cheeks. Henry had a soft blush color on those cheeks and up across his nose. He looks so beautiful and so fucking real. He closes his eyes and buries himself into Henry’s shoulder, whispering against his neck, “how are you real? How?”

“How are you real?” Alex asked Henry as they stood in Alex’s kitchen. They were meant to be working on their school project but ended up with them getting into a debate about Star Wars until Alex’s sister found them reenacting their respective favorite scenes. “You want tea at three in the afternoon?”

June laughed from her position at the stove heating up some water because no matter how much Alex insisted he wouldn’t burn the house down, his mother still forbids him from using it. “And to think we all thought it was a baseless joke.”

“If it’s too much work, I’m fine with just a glass of water. I really don’t mind.” He seemed anxious and small as if he was shrinking into himself. June didn’t notice because she was focusing on not burning the house down, but Alex saw the way Henry’s arms wrapped around his body and how his lips creased. Alex wanted to do everything in his power to let Henry know he was safe here. He was welcomed. Maybe drawing attention to him would make the problem worse, so he said nothing at all.

June shook her head, some of her newly dyed hair falling out of her ponytail. “It’s fine, Bud. We are just messing with you.” Henry looked at her and smiled, even though her back was still turned to him. She seemed so much older than Henry and Alex, even though she was only two years older, but she was a freshman in high school and high schoolers are older, and cooler, and smarter in a way no seventh-grader could ever try imagining. 

Imagining Henry coming back to him seemed like a useless fantasy Alex had conjured up in the last few days to make everything more bearable. He imagined so many scenarios starting anywhere from Henry refusing to get in the car to Henry calling him to ask for a ride home from the airport because he spent all of his money on a last-minute ticket home. He imagined calling Henry on the phone, terrified because he hadn’t heard from him in days, only to find out that Henry had slipped into a depressive episode and Alex needed to find a way to get him home himself.

Alex had found himself slipping into a spiral of if-onlys and what-ifs. Being wrapped up in Henry’s arms right now felt like a cruel joke waiting to happen. Soon Alex will wake and find himself clutching his comforter, or he’ll step away from Henry and find himself in front of Nora because he hallucinated this entire exchange. So he doesn’t open his eyes and he doesn’t step back, in fear of the what if.

If Alex was forced to choose between anyone and Henry, it would always be Henry. Alex has found over the last year and a half that Henry is the most reliable person ever. He’s also funny and extremely smart. He loves Liam, but after a while, Henry took over as Alex’s best friend. They all hung out and were all friends, but it was clear to Alex that there was something special about his friendship with Henry. He was going to cherish it as long as he could.

“Thank you for coming, Hen. You didn’t have to do that.” Alex stated as he opened his locker. He had just finished tryouts for the high school lacrosse team which took place a month and a half before he finished middle school. He’d been practicing every day for a month, Henry on the bench waiting and giving emotional support even if he spent most of the time with his face in a novel. That nerd, Alex always thought appreciatively. 

Henry, who was behind him and had his face no longer in a novel, laughed. “I know, but I rather support you try out for a rather stupid sport,” His favorite sport was polo but since he no longer in Europe, he couldn’t join a team, and apparently Water Polo wasn’t good enough for him. “Then be at home in my room with my arsehole brother.” He joked, but Alex could detect a hint of truth in the matter. 

Alex stuffed his books and his clits into his locker haphazardly, no longer caring about keeping either in pristine condition, and shut his locker door before turning around, “Is he still being a dick?”

He nods, not meeting Alex’s eyes. “He’s off to college soon so I’ll be okay.” 

“Do you wanna stay at my house for a couple of days?”

Henry shook his head, “No, I’m alright. My mum wants the whole family together as much as possible while Philip is still around. The only reason I was allowed to come to your tryouts this week is that Philip has graduation practice. I’m just lucky he’s going back to London for the summer.”

Alex nodded solemnly, “My house is always open to you, you know. June’s boyfriend has a car so we could pick you up if you needed. He still needs to win my favor.”

“Why of course he does.” He laughs, then stops abruptly. “Can I ask you something?” He speaks nervously.

“You know you can.”

“Are you nervous about dating? For one day having to win the favor of some girl’s siblings and parents?”

“Oh, well. Not really. I mean, look at me. I deserve to be on the cover of one of my sister’s magazines, or something.” Henry only hums, so Alex continues, “I wouldn’t so much worry about the family’s, or anyone for that matter, opinion on me or the relationship. I’ll charm my way through if I have to. But that’s not something that really concerns me. Like yeah, it would suck if my family hated whoever I started dating, but I would be okay with it.”

Henry looked as if he didn’t believe him, but didn’t challenge him, “What about getting into a relationship? Are you nervous about that?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m nervous about it. I mean it seems like everyone around us is getting into relationships in the morning and by the second period aren’t speaking to one another. I don’t want that to happen to me.”

“Yeah, same.” Henry slumps against the lockers. Alex noticed they were the last ones left in the hall. “I’m freaked out that so many people are having their first kiss and I'm over here worrying about my brother being a prick to me when I get home.” 

Alex didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t make Henry too uncomfortable, so he talked about himself. “I’m too caught up with studying and practicing for tryouts and helping my mom with her campaign. I haven’t had time to try and find someone I want to kiss, let alone date. I haven’t thought about who I might like that way, I just know I want to.” Henry hums again so Alex slides up next to him, pushing their shoulders together. “This is freaking you out a lot, isn’t it?”

Henry nodded, “I just wish there was a stress-free way of handling this.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean… maybe? It’s stupid.”

Alex moved closer to Henry, trying to act as a shockproof force so no matter what he’s thinking, feeling, or trying to say, it won’t have any harmful effect on either of them. “You can tell me. You don’t have to be scared of what I’ll think of you. You know that right?” 

Then Henry suddenly moved about, causing Alex to stumble to the side. Henry, of course, caught me and proceeded to gently push Alex against the locker. Before he could process what was happening, he was alone, but his lips tingled nicely. He lifted his hand to his mouth and let out a sigh that sounded as if he were saying, “Oh.” Henry had kissed him.

They both just had their first kiss.

Kissing his boyfriend and smiling like an absolute fool should be the reaction Alex was having right now, but he most likely started crying without realizing it, because Henry started rubbing soft soothing circles onto his back through Alex’s sweatshirt that was actually Henry’s. Alex typically would have been embarrassed about being caught wearing anything of Henry’s, but since he left, he started exclusively wearing the odd collection of clothes he’s collected over the years. At one point, he wore a shirt Henry got from their middle school’s book club and June threatened that she would put him on the TLC show What Not To Wear if it hadn’t already ended. 

Alex let out a sob when he heard Henry start whispering into his hair. “I love you.” “I’m so sorry I ever thought about leaving.” “I’m here now.” “I’ll never leave again.” “I missed you so much, love” “You are everything to me.” “I got you.”

Eventually, Alex calms down enough to start talking, “How are you geographically here? Aren’t you supposed to be on a plane flying over the Atlantic?” Alex doesn’t move his face, so he’s speaking softly against Henry’s neck. His voice is muffled, but Alex can tell by the way Henry stiffens a little, he can hear him.

“Well. There was a mix-up at the airport with our bags, you see. I volunteered to stay back and figure it out. All of our seats were separated so as long as I got someone to fill my seat and sat with my Mum and Philip while we waited for boarding to begin, I was golden. Philip and Mum were set to board before me, so once they did I passed off my ticket to some college guy wanting to travel the world and ran.”

Alex laughs and his breath fogs up his glasses, causing Alex to pull away to fix them. He looks at his boyfriend, his hot, smart, insane boyfriend, and smiles. “You most possibly are the craziest son of a bitch I’ve ever met.” Henry laughs harder at that. “Are you going to teach me your ways?”

“Ways? What ways?”

“Teach me your ways!” Alex shouted again as he continued to walk into the dining room after school. His sister was already home since she had a free last period of school. High school seems so cool.

June looked up from her spot at the dining room table where she was doing homework and eyed Alex cautiously. “My ways? Please elaborate.” 

“How do you get a date?” Alex said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh, uh. Why?” Apparently, it wasn’t the most obvious thing ever.

“Why? Because everyone and their mothers are dating, but I’m not. Heck, even our mother is dating.” Alex went and pulled out the seat next to his sister. She was doing math homework, from the look of the textbook. The math looked like a different language to him but Nora could probably teach him if he needed it when the time came.

“Okay? That’s not a reason to jump into dating if you aren’t ready to.”

Alex groaned in frustration, “Who says I’m not?” 

June gave him a side-eye, “you still have an eight o’clock bedtime.”

“Hey, that’s not my fault! Mom just likes to baby me. I’m in the process of making a PowerPoint to argue in favor of getting it lifted.”

“Okay, but you still have the crust cut off of your sandwiches.”

Alex pouts, “it’s gross.”

June sighed and reached for her brother’s hand, “And that’s fine. You can do that, but you need to recognize that you are still a kid, and kids don’t date.” Alex mumbled something under his breath, but June didn’t catch it. “What?

“Henry.” Alex stopped and started to shrink into himself. He shook his head to ward off any anxiety, “Henry is dating someone.” June’s mouth fell open into a soft O. “I feel like I’m being left behind.”

“Oh, Alex. You are not being left behind.” She rubbed small circles on the back of his hand with her thumb, “Do you know who Henry’s… girlfriend is?”

Alex shook his head, “I don’t know. Someone his brother knew. Some friend’s younger sister or something.”

“Ah. Doesn’t sound like he had a choice, does it? He would have told you the girl’s name if he decided to start dating.” 

“Does it matter? I’m the only guy in the eighth grade who is yet to have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, that can’t be true. What about Liam?”

“I see him hanging with girls all the time. He’s probably had dozens of girlfriends by now.”

June pulled her hand out of his and patted him on the shoulder, “You don’t know that unless you ask him. So ask him. Talk to your friends, see where they stand. I bet you aren’t alone.” She turned back to her homework, seemingly done with the conversation.

Conversations were to be had, and they knew that. That’s all Alex felt like he’s done in the last few days is cry. He’s done crying. He knows they should talk more about what this means for them and their future, but he doesn’t want to because he’ll just cry more. He wants to joke around with his boyfriend. He wants to go on a date. He wants to go up to his room and fumble around a bit. He wants to listen to his boyfriend read obscure novels he found at the library to him while Alex lays on his chest and plays with the sleeves of his shirt until he falls asleep. He wants… he wants… he wants forever with the person in front of him. And he’s going to get it.

Alex reaches over and cups Henry’s jaw, using his thumb to wipe away some tears that are staining that beautiful face. “How did I get so lucky.” He breathes out in awe.

“You? You think you’re lucky? Clearly, you haven’t met my boyfriend Alex.” They laugh again, and oh god. It feels so fucking good to laugh. Alex wasn’t sure he’d ever laugh again, not so genuinely 

“God, I missed you and your stupid jokes,” Alex responds, dropping his hand off of Henry’s face in preference of his hand. Solid and warm -and a bit wet- in Alex’s. Holding Henry’s hand is something he never expected to enjoy so much, but since the first time he did it, he knew he could never live without it. 

“Thank you for not being upset with me for leaving,” Henry says suddenly. Without truly noticing, Henry had taken a step back. Their hands swing slightly. Alex feels a rush of uncomfortableness run through him from being this far apart. Touch Starved.

Alex replies instantly, stepping back into Henry’s space. “Thank you for coming back.” 

Back at school the following Monday, after his conversation with June, Alex found Henry alone at this locked and forced him into the bathroom for questioning. 

“Why does it matter who I’m dating?” Henry responded after Alex cornered him.

Alex tutted, “Because I’m your best friend and I think I deserve to know.”

“You weren’t interested when I first told you I had a date,”

“To be fair, I was in shock and you looked completely uninterested in the prospect.”

Henry jumped back as if he’d been burned or slapped. Alex hadn’t touched him all day. “I- yes. Yes, I am. Emily is very lovely.”

“Emily?”

Henry sighs, finally giving in. “Yes, Emily. She's blonde, and she’s in drama club, and is going to be in the theatre program next year.” 

Alex hates her already. “She sounds cool. When do I get to meet her?”

“Oh. Um. I’m not sure. I don't know if… we are at that part in our relationship.”

“You mean the part in your relationship where you introduce your girlfriend to your best friend?” He asks genuinely. “Is that a real step? Shouldn’t that happen before you start dating? Your next girlfri-”

“Alex, stop. She’s not even my girlfriend yet.”

“What? But you’ve been on like three dates so far.”

“Apparently there are steps. Emily explained them to me on our first date.”

“What are they?”

Henry leans his back onto the bathroom wall, which is surprising because it's highly unhygienic. “I’m still unsure. I just wait until Emily says we can move up a step. So far, I can take her on dates, walk her to lunch, walk her to class after lunch, and text her goodnight. But not a good morning.”

Alex let that sink in. “June never said anything about that to me. And she’s my sister. She’s supposed to tell me these things.”

“Bea didn’t tell me either. When I asked her about it she said something about boundaries and walked off.”

“Maybe I should ask Liam.”

“Liam?”

“Yeah, he seems like he would know a lot about girls.” Henry looks unconvinced but doesn’t say anything. 

Henry never speaks of Emily again. 

Again, Henry starts to rub gently on Alex’s back while they stand in silence for a moment. Alex notes that Henry hasn’t tried to brush off his gratitude, and it warms his heart. Henry has always been the one to take compliments with a grain of salt, or not at all. He would smile kindly and laugh them off, but Alex could tell they hurt for him to hear. 

Since the death of his father, Henry had always been guarded toward niceties, never allowing himself to truly be proud of himself. It took a lot for him to internalize the idea that he was worth something. He showered everyone around him whom he cared about with love by rarely took any for himself. It even took a while for him to give himself away as he does now. There was so much of him and Alex knew he was lucky and privileged enough to be on the receiving end of it.

“I deserve to get what I want, right? You’ve told me that a million times over by now. I want to be with you. I want to be near you, not just a face of a phone screen. You have my heart and I gave it to you accidentally and with the full knowledge of what that would do to me. I can’t be without my heart. I need to be where it lays to be whole, and I could only be that in your arms, Alex.”

Alex felt jittery. Uneven. Off-balance. 

It’s not like he’s worried about Henry not liking him, or things being awkward at school if this went bad. It’s Henry. Henry, who he has known since they were in middle school and they did a presentation of the shit show that is the environment right now, through the lenses of Star Wars. It wasn’t the best presentation, but he had fun doing it and learning about who the strange new kid was. And accidentally becoming best friends.

He doesn’t need to be worried about seven minutes in heaven when the bottle picked him and Henry and the group of freshmen all but threw them into the storage closet. Technically they’ve kissed before, but that was just a joke. An experiment. An excuse to say “Yeah, I’ve had my first kiss,” and know that they were safe from the seemingly inevitable loss of a friendship that happens between two people that actually liked each other. He was safe with Henry, Alex knows through everything they’ve done for each other, he’s safe. It’s everyone else that is making his hands shake and his ears ring and his face burn. He’s anxious, he realized, that he’ll never be cut out for all of this. 

Henry seemed to pick up on Alex’s anxious energy, and then Alex worried that it’s radiating off of him. Henry guides Alex’s to sit down on a box in the coat closet they were in. “Alex, do you just want to talk?

Something about Henry’s voice calms Alex down significantly, “Yeah. Yeah, that would be nice.”

Henry is sitting next to him on the box, and it should be weird how close they are fitted together just so they could both fit. But it’s not. Henry’s left leg is placed in between the space of Alex’s legs and the box. Alex has a distant thought about how easy it would be to tangle their legs together. He can feel the phantom warmth. 

Henry moves his right arm so that he could rub Alex’s left. They were so close. He could not only smell Henry’s cologne but the subtle minty of his breath. “Are you okay?” Henry whispers. He’s not sure if Henry was whispering before, or if he feels the intensity of everything too.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just got a bit freaked out with everyone outside just…” Henry nods understandably because if there is ever anyone in the world that could read his mind, it would be Henry.

And Henry, being the mind reader he was, decided to change topics altogether. “Do you know about the constellation Orion?” Alex shakes his head slightly, careful not to break the sensitive equilibrium they created. “It’s my dad’s favorite constellation. It’s named after the hunter in Greek mythos. It looks like a man holding a shield, it’s amazing. Since it’s Winter, it’s more visible than any other time. Can you guess what one of the stars is named?”

Alex thought for a second, having no idea where this was going to go, before he answered, “Is it, Henry?” And Henry just laughed quietly as shakes his head. “Is it one of your seventeen middle names?” 

“No, it’s not one of my three middle names, you deranged American Neanderthal.” And Alex can’t do anything but throw his head back and laugh. Leave it to Henry to decimate his anxiety. “Shh!” Henry said loudly, as he scrambled to cover Alex’s mouth. “They’ll hear you!” He was laughing too until he collapsed onto Alex’s shoulder, which caused the two of them to mold into a singular being of childish joy.

They did manage to quiet down quite quickly and have a moment to catch their breath. If their peers happened to be listening, they could probably rationalize this all and form some narrative for themselves that, “Yes, in fact, they did make out like ones are supposed to during Seven Minutes In Heaven. Thank you very much!”

“So,” Alex started, having only realized just how long seven minutes can be, “What’s the star’s name?”

Henry pulls away slightly in order to make eye contact. Something they don’t normally care about unless they were speaking with the utmost importance. “Bellatrix.”

Alex thought to himself, ‘That fucker really wants us to get caught, doesn’t he.’ And since he’s more than a “deranged American Neanderthal” he held his tongue between his teeth and swallowed down yet another laugh.

Their faces were inches apart, “We should really talk about this Harry Potter obsession you are roping me into.”

“Only the Marauders era.” He said. Alex didn’t realize their faces moving closer together until their noses brushed each other. He was about to close his eyes when the door swung open. He swore he heard Henry breathe out his name as he turned away.

“Alex...”

Alex finally pulled out of Henry’s embrace, but only a little. “Kiss me right now or I swear to god, I’ll kick you out,” he says with a soft smile and sparkling eyes.

Henry laughs, cups his face, and is kissing him. Slow and sweet. Alex grips his shirt like a lifeline in fear he would disappear again. Alex isn’t going to let that happen again. 

Alex lets out a soft gasp when Henry’s tongue slips into his mouth, and oh how he missed this. He missed the way how whenever he feels like his legs are going to give out from the intensity of it all, Henry also wraps an arm around his waist as if he knows. He missed the way whenever their noses knocked against each other by accident, Henry would give a small laugh and Alex could feel, taste, the smile on his lips. Kissing Henry was everything and he doesn’t know how he thought he could live without it for longer than a few days. He was already kissing him as if they hadn’t kissed in years.

Caught up in the emotion of it all, Alex seemed to have forgotten he was in his family living room, until, of course, his mother walked in faking a cough. Alex doesn’t so much jump away but is lightly shoved out of Henry’s arms causing Alex to tumble onto the couch. 

Now, efficiently embarrassed, Alex looks at his mom, acting innocent.  “Hey, Mom! How was work? This is Henry, you remember Henry right? A friend from school. Say hi.”

Ellen doesn’t look amused. She looks at Alex and then at Henry, and then back at Alex again. “Please tell me you didn’t kidnap your boyfriend.”

“I didn’t, I promise!”

“Henry, dear. How are you here? I’m assuming your mother doesn’t know you are here.”

Henry looks as if he wished he wasn’t, as if he didn’t just run away from his family to be here. “Erm. No, she doesn’t. I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t possibly move back to London.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry for causing a scene. I was planning on staying at Pez’s for a few nights until I could find an apartment of my own. I only have a few months of school left, I figured I might as well-”

Ellen cuts him off, “Henry, sugar, you are a good kid, with a great head on your shoulders. I always felt as if you were a great influence on Alex-”

“Hey!”

“-But you can’t just move away from home and live on your own.”

“I’m almost eighteen, ma’am.”

Ellen, to her credit, is trying very hard to act calm, but that puts Alex in a more uncomfortable position because he has no fucking clue what she’s thinking and that can’t mean anything good. “I know, Henry. I know. But you are also a high schooler. Have you even finished taking your college application tests yet?”

“No ma’am.” Alex hates how polite he’s being. He understands, but it doesn’t sound like he’s fighting hard enough. What if his mom decides to call-

“You have to focus on your education and let your family take care of keeping you alive and feed. I’m going to call your mother, okay?”

Alex finally is able to feel his legs so he jumps off the couch, spinning around frantically so he could face his mother and put a barrier between her and Henry, “No!”

Finally, Alex can sense an emotion coming for her, “No? Alex, you can’t seriously be telling me not to call his family right now.”

“I am seriously doing that. You can’t because they’re going to try and take him away again. Mom, please. Let him stay. He won’t even be here so he wouldn’t be in your way. Mom, I’m begging you. Don’t kick him out. Don’t send him away.” Tears are falling down his face hard. He didn’t even cry this hard when Henry told him he was leaving. Maybe because then, it didn’t seem like a true possibility, but now, with Ellen clutching her phone so hard, her hand ghostly white, in front of him and Henry’s trembling body behind him, everything seems so real. “If you make him leave, I’ll leave too.”

He hears Henry suck in a surprised gasp and Ellen drops her phone. It bounces off the living room rug and hits the hardwood floor, shattering. “Alexander.” She cries, about to step forward, seemingly to reach out for him and talk some sense into him, but Alex steps back, almost back to chest with Henry.

“You ran Dad out, didn’t you? What? You thought just because I’m not yet an adult you couldn’t do the same for me?” Alex is shaking with anger, and he decides this conversation is over, so he grabs Henry’s hand and pulls him up to his bedroom because the least he could do is get his boyfriend into some dry clothes, that may or may not already be Henry’s.

Henry’s idea of a fun group activity once fully emerged into the freshman year was to become members of their school’s National Honors Society(or straight A do-gooders, as Liam refers to them). Alex agreed because they go on a trip to Disney World at the end of the year. Alex had talked Liam’s ear off about this trip and in turn, Liam reminded Alex that he’s been to Disney World before. Twice.

“But this is different! No mom to pester me about wearing sunscreen-”

“Alex, you need to be wearing sunscreen, what the fuck dude. You shouldn’t have to be forced.”

“No sister to annoy me-”

“She’s going too, what do you mean?’

“Oh! And no dad to piss off Mom or step-dad to piss off Dad to piss off Mom.”

“Back to the sister thing-”

“It’s going to be a great trip!” Liam looked concerned for Alex’s health, but he pushed no further.

Instead, he said, “I guess I’ll be hanging out with Spencer while you are gone.”

“Who?”

“Spencer. From math?”

“Oh?” Alex smiled knowingly and wiggled his eyebrows at Liam teasingly, “Is he the one you are always staring at?”

“I don’t stare!”

“Mm, yes you do. Lucky for you he stares at you in the rare moments you are actually doing your work.” Liam blushes and Alex recalled a time, just a year ago, when Alex thought Liam to be some sort of Lady’s man. Alex thought the same of himself too, as he brushed the unease he felt about Henry’s relationship and rationalized it as feeling left out. To a point, it was, but it wasn’t everything he was feeling, and he can recognize that now.

“So, what are you going to do about your Henry situation?”

“What do you mean? There’s nothing ‘to do’.” Alex responded, including air quotes and cringes to himself as Liam laughs.

“I think you should just kiss him and get it over with.”

“You make it sound like a dentist appointment. What if I told you to do that with Spencer.”

“I would listen.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“It’s not like he likes me anyway.” Liam hums, clearly not believing a word he said. “It’s true! We’ve been friends for years, I don’t want to ruin that.”

Liam makes a strangled noise, “You and him are so perfect for each other, I swear to god.” He turns and heads towards his bus. 

Alex shouts through cupped hands, “What is that supposed to mean?” Liam keeps walking and Alex groans.

The next day, he arrives at school and it’s still dark. His backpack is filled to the top with snacks for the bus ride to the airport and for on the plane. He wants this trip to be as enjoyable as possible and he knows that Henry hates long car rides and can’t stand being stuck in small plane seats for an extended period of time. He found most of Henry’s favorite American snacks at the convenience store near his house, and sadly Amazon had failed him in the British snacks department, but nonetheless, he was proud of the work he accomplished. He was going to woo Henry or die trying.

Once he gets on the bus, he finds Henry sitting with Pez who usually sits with June with Nora seated behind them with her head stuck in the middle of their seats, leaving the inevitable poor strangler to sit with her and be ignored for the duration of the trip. There were no empty seats behind or in front of Pez and Henry nor with Nora and June. Alex had never wished for Henry’s sister to be here so much before. But she was not in NHS, so Alex acts the inevitable poor strangler for another group of three, 

Over the first day after travel, they were all at the park and Alex keeps finding himself being left behind or pushed aside by Henry. It didn’t make any sense to him. They were fine two days ago and he couldn’t think of anything he could have done or said to upset him. If anything he’s been on better behavior than normal. Neither June nor Nora tried to call Alex out for being a dick but clearly, something was wrong. Logically, he knew he should just ask him to spit it out, but he was never given a moment alone with him to claw it out of him. 

Their hotel rooms were four to a room and Alex was stuck sharing a bed with fucking Hunter. Alex laid in bed thinking of his day. Realistically, it wasn’t a day. He hung around June and Nora most, (which he knew he said he wasn’t going to hang out with his sister, but here he was). As much as he acts like he finds June annoying, she is pretty cool, even if she goes on random rants about how cute it would be to be kissed in front of the Disney firework show if only Evan could get his shit together and do it…

Alex bolted up in bed and found that it was 2:37 am and everyone was asleep, including his notoriously insomniac best friend and crush. He knew there was a piece of tape over everyone’s door frame and handle, so he couldn’t leave and find Nora without causing trouble so he resorted to running to the bathroom and calling her and hoping she didn’t have her ringer on. He turned on the shower to muffle his voice as he waited.

She answered on the second ring, “Alex, it’s three in the morning, you better ha-”

“I need you to get Henry and me alone for the firework show before we leave.” He hears shuffling on the other end, and some grunting.

“Why didn’t you just… oh, I don’t know. Call your sister. Or wait until the morning.”

“It is the morning. so-”

“Stop that sentence before I call Zahra on your ass. Okay, so why can’t you just talk to Hen- OH MY GOD!” There is a collective groan ringing through the phone and the sounds of Nora apologizing echo in Alex’s ears. After a moment, the line is quiet and Nora whispers, “You’re going to kiss him, aren’t you?”

Alex hates the way he can hear her smile. “If necessary, yeah, but I’m rather hoping to talk to him first.”

“Alex has a boyfriend.” She sing-songs so Alex sighs as loudly as he can into the microphone before hanging up. 

Alex turns off the shower and reprimanded himself for wasting water in the mirror. There are bags under his eyes and his hair is a mess. Typical Alex fashion. He decides that he should tackle the dark circles before his big mission tomorrow and heads to bed. He rather not have June put make-up on him. 

Before falling asleep he gets a text message from Nora informing him that her entire room is up trying to plan a way to get Henry alone at the water fountain in time for the firework show. June wished him good luck and that she and their whole friend group knows this is going to work on. “And if you are worried he doesn’t like you that way. Don’t. Nora says there’s a 100% chance that he is already head over heels for you.” Nora sends one follow-up text while he was asleep that said the plan will be ready by breakfast and all he has to do is follow it and not be an asshole. 

He, in fact, did not listen. He ended up showing up late because June pulled him into a last-minute pep talk and featured quotes from everyone in their group. If they weren’t in the middle of Disney World park, he was almost certain she would pull a trick from their mom’s book and present a PowerPoint. By the time he was able to pull away from his sister, a flood of people decided to take the exact route he had to take to get to Henry so he got swept up in traffic. 

He stumbled out of the stampede with a bruised shin and a piece of candy stuck to his shirt. He cleaned himself off as he found Henry talking to Pez and walking away from him. That wouldn’t do.

The long romantic speech he had planned left his mind as he started running. He was a great runner, he ran all the time. He did sports and he was an anxious person. Running was necessary for him, but he never felt his body go into autopilot and just start bolting before. 

“Henry!” He screamed, nearly stumbling over a crack. 

The two friends swiveled around, Pez sighing in relief. “Alexander! Babes! Okay, I’m going to go now.”

“Wait, Pez,” Henry attempts, but is cut off by a disparate Alex grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Pez smiled and disappeared into the crowd. No one was paying any attention to them, they were just two anonymous teens that meant nothing to anyone but each other (and their families, but Alex isn’t thinking about them right now).

Alex’s mind stopped once he had Henry in front of him. He forgot all of his original intentions and his mind was filled with hurt. “What the fuck, Henry? Why are you ghosting me?” It came out sharp and accusatory.

He could tell Henry wasn’t processing what he said as his eyes flicker to Alex’s lips and his heartbeat sped up. His heart was beating so hard, Alex could feel it. Alex smiled and released him, but he needed answers before going any further. 

“Care to explain the last few days?”

“I- no.” Henry left out a shaky breath, and looked down at the ground. “I can’t”

“Did I do something?”

“What? No, Alex. You could never…” Henry’s voice faded out. 

“Then explain, because according to all of our friends you have a crush on me, yet you’ve been pushing me away from you all trip. I like you, Henry. What happened?” Henry cringes and becomes small, which while Alex was being blunt and demanding, he didn’t mean to hurt him. Don’t be an asshole: failed. “Wait, Hen. I’m sor-”

“No,” Henry starts and then looks up at Alex in surprise at his own voice. “I didn’t think you liked me back. Or I mean, in the same way at least.” Alex made a scuffing noise but looked up at Henry with pure admiration. “And then Philip said I should stay away from you and well… stop being…”

Alex’s eyes were wide and sad, “Oh. My.”

Henry hummed in agreement and stared back down at the ground and Alex followed. They stood in silence for a minute before Henry spoke again, almost in a whisper. “I shouldn’t have listened.”

“I understand why you did, though,” Alex responded, matching his volume. “You’re brother is a fucking ass.”

Henry laughed and the sound let all tension and pain from the last few days drained out of Alex. “So what now?” He asked, cupping Alex’s cheek.

The fireworks line up perfectly with Alex pulling Henry in by the shirt collar for their first proper kiss.

“Kiss me again?” Alex said once they made it up to his room and closed the door. He needed reassurance. The look Henry gave him didn’t seem like he was going to give it.

“Alex,” Henry started as he stood in front of Alex’s bed as Alex shuffled through his disorganized closet disappointedly. Alex assumed he didn’t sit down to protect the dryness of his comforter, but at the same time, he looked as if he was planning to jump out the window. “You didn’t have to do that for me. I know how much you love your mom. Don’t start a fight over me.”

Alex sighed and continued his quest, tossing clothes onto the floor behind him. “She’s being an irrational bitch. I’m going to do what is necessary.”

“Alex-”

“Henry, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t argue with me right now. “ Alex takes a few breaths in fear of snapping. Alex rarely lets his frustrations out on Henry, he works really hard on not participating in ‘monkey see, monkey do” when it comes to relationships. Another thing he’s angry at his mother about.

“I know, love,” Henry comes up behind Alex and rubs his back in a soothing motion, one he recognizes from the last time they shared a bed together. “And I’m not trying to start a fight the moment I get back, but please think about what you are saying.”

“Henry! Listen to me! I’m not arguing this. I am not losing you again, okay? I won’t let her take you away from me again! Don’t you get that?”

“Love. Darling. Of course, I understand that, I’m here again, aren’t I? The last week has been hell, I didn’t know how I was going to survive it. That being said, I would stand here and watch you tarnish a perfectly good mother-son relationship.”

“I don’t ca-”

“Our first year of secondary school-”

“High school.” Alex cuts him off with a soft smile.

“Sure, whatever you say, love,” He smirks. “It was that idiotic College and Career Readiness class. All of the parents in our class were invited to come and discuss what they did for a living. You only told your mother about it, because she was the only one you wanted to show off. When she didn’t show, you were devastated.”

“She had an important meeting.”

“I know, darling. I know. It doesn’t mean you weren’t any less upset. You had an entire speech ready to introduce her. You even got June to help. You told me in the hall after class that you weren’t ever going to speak to her again. According to June, you lasted twenty minutes.”

“Oh, what a lair! I lasted at least an hour.”

“Maybe so, but do you really think you could go on without ever speaking to her again? Just getting up and leaving because of me?”

“I’d do anything for you, H.”

“I know you would, but I’m asking you not to do this. I respect your mother too much to cause her that pain. I don’t want to leave, I really really don’t, but I’ll figure it out. Don’t ruin this. Don’t ruin yourself.”

“I love you more than I can describe, Hen. You know that right?”

“Of course I do.” Henry smiles but it quickly vanishes, “My relationship with my family was already hanging by a thread. I’m doing them a favor-”

“What? Henry-”

“But your family is strong. No matter how much unraveling that occurs, you all come back stronger. Don’t leave that behind.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Do you think your family doesn’t love you?”

Henry pauses, searching for the best way to phrase his next statement. Alex knew it was going to break his heart. “They love me… to an extent, I think. I just know Philip would rather have me not be... me. And Gran is the same, if not more so. She’s made that rather clear on multiple occasions. I don’t know how mum feels about anything anymore.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

“I can’t go back to a place where I’m unsure I’m loved. I’ll find my way, but you shouldn’t do this, Alex. I love you and I’m grateful you want to fight and risk it all to stay with me but don’t.”

“Okay, I won’t leave. But I will fight. Please tell me you understand why.”

“Again, I’m telling you I understand why you did it, love. You love me. I love you. I promise I understand.”

Alex walks over and hugs Henry, wet clothes and all, again. “I’m just making sure you know you are loved.” He turns his face upwards for a kiss which Henry grants instantly.

“I know.”

They both eventually get changed and crawl into Alex’s bed, because even though he’s only going to stay at Pez’s until he’s able to find an apartment, Alex doesn’t want him out of his sight just yet. 

Alex places his head onto Henry’s chest, just to listen to his heartbeat and his breathing. Henry’s hand is in Alex’s hair. If things were better with his mom, she would be walking in and out of this room, asking them about their day, making them try some snacks she made, and talking to them about work. All in the name of just trying to be annoying. She knows they won’t do anything since they decided to wait a bit to do that, but she still made it a point to embarrass them to the point where they wouldn’t go back on it. 

Everything felt so sensitive and fragile. He felt more defensive than ever. He felt brittle. Every breath felt like tittering on a live tightrope suspended over nothing. He wants to cry and scream and punch and kick. He also wants to sleep. 

Henry starts humming, which means Alex has either started crying without noticing, or he’s buzzing with anxious energy. Alex’s mind is, yet again, filling with the fear of the what if.

If Alex had any common sense, he would know that trying to sneak into his boyfriend’s room in the middle of the night after being ignored for a week was probably a bad idea. Especially since said boyfriend shares a room with his older brother who hates Alex’s guts. Alex was never one to take hints and Philip was at college. Granted Alex didn’t know if Philip was planning on visiting home this weekend and Alex couldn’t care less if Philip caught him. He had a list of grievances for him too, but Alex would prefer to do that another day. Preferably after he and Henry fix… whatever this is. He wishes he knew what Henry was thinking instead of ignoring him. No more of that, one way or another. 

“Henry!” Alex stage whispered outside the window because the asshole locked it. He never locked it. “Henry, open up!” He hears rustling and for a second he is panicked that Philip will show up and push Alex off this ledge. He’s not eleven anymore; he can barely stand on this ledge as it is let alone hold on strong enough to resist a push. 

Luckily that’s not what happened. Henry pulled back the curtains and Alex got his first good look at him in a week. He was there, blurry-eyed, tousled hair, dark circles, and all. He looked sad and absolutely miserable. “Alex, please leave.”

Alex shook his head, determined. “No. Open up so we can talk this out.”

“My parents are asleep.”

“I don’t care. Let me in or I’ll ring your fucking doorbell and make this everyone’s problem.” 

Henry looked defeated and didn’t put up any more fight. He unlatched the window and stepped aside, trusting Alex could do the rest himself.

“Nice to know you can speak.”

“What are you doing here, Alex?”

“I don’t know, Henry. Maybe trying to get an explanation on why you’ve been avoiding me after, what I assumed, was a very nice date. No, not just the date, after I almost confessed something I assumed we were both feeling.” He knew shouldn’t go into this conversation angry, but he was. He was angry and confused and just sad.

“Alex, I’m sixteen. You’re fifteen. We are children. We can’t… feel that.”

“Feel what Henry? Tell me what you can’t feel.” Alex is trying with every bone in his body to feel angry now, but he doesn’t. If anything, he feels heartbroken and all he wants to do is drop this whole thing and wrap Henry in a hug and tell him they wouldn’t talk about it if he doesn’t want to, it’s fine. Everything is fine.

But everything is most certainly not fine, but Alex is willing to do what his parents should have done, and act like an adult to save this relationship.

“Alex, please.”

“Please what Henry? Don’t make you say the big scary L-word? Guess what! It’s only scary when the feeling isn’t reciprocated and you are ghosted for a week by the person you L-word so much. You wouldn’t know though. Would you?”

“Alex.”

“Stop just saying my name and talk to me, you asshole! I love you. I fucking love you and I will never stop but it would be nice to hear you say something so I know where I stand. Tell me you don’t love me. Tell me to leave. Tell me we’re over. Tell me anything. Say something!”

Henry took a super shaky breath, looking as if he may faint, but he finally speaks something other than Alex’s name. “If you truly believe that I have ever pretended to be anything but in love with you, you are an idiot.” And if those are the most beautiful confusing words Alex had ever heard.

“Huh?” Alex felt a spark of hope ignite in his chest, right where his heart would be if it wasn’t in Henry’s hands.

“Of course, I love you, Alex! But how could we know what that means! How could we say that as if we know that this won’t end in a month.”

“Do you want it to?”

“No, I don’t. But if we say stuff like that and we do break up, doesn’t that increase our chances of never speaking again.” Alex looks into Henry’s eyes for the first time in a week. Past the tears, he could see true fear. “You were my best friend first, Alex. I can’t lose you.”

It felt as if Henry stabbed him, over and over again only to hold Alex close and heal each wound with a kiss. “You kissed me first, dumbass. Do you regret it?”

“No. Never. But it’s that immature of me?” Henry shook his head back and forth quickly as if to shake some of the tears off his face. “To try and believe that I could never want to be with anyone else.”

“Does that matter? We are teenagers! We don’t have to be mature, Henry. We can be stupid, we could believe in these fantasies we created for ourselves. And isn’t that what love is? Being immature enough to take the shot and hope to love someone for the rest of your lives. To be stupid enough to hope for a future that can never be certain. I’m jumping headfirst, Henry.”

Henry looks surprised by Alex’s outburst, which confuses Alex to no end. Why else would he be here? It feels like if they continued, they would end up talking in a circle, but Henry looked lost for words, uncertain of what to say next, so Alex gave him a starting point. “Do you love me?” He asked softly.

His voice hitched as he spoke, nodding his head, “More than anything.”

“Then that's all that matters.” Their love was out in the open between them and it was honest, and beautiful, and loud.

Loud sounds of crashing and some screeching startled them awake in the middle of the night. Alex sat right up, eye blurrily searching for the noise.

“June? Nora?” Henry asked, looking towards his window. Alex grabs for his glasses off his nightstand to see his sister and friend standing sheepishly, holding a broken lacrosse trophy. 

“Hey.” June and Nora wave.

“What? Huh? June you’re…”

“I came as soon as I heard. Didn’t want mom to know I was here.”

Henry made a noise of discomfort in the back of his throat, “How did you find out?”

Nora jumps in, “It was me. I came to check on Alex and found Ellen sobbing in the living room,” Alex’s heart drops into the pit of his stomach. “And so I went to the window and found you and Henry sleeping. So I called June to see if she knew what was happening. She didn’t, thus her arrival.”

“I don’t like the idea of you looking through my window in the middle of the night.”

Henry laughs and Alex can feel the vibrations on his back, “But them crawling inside and breaking your award is fine?”

“Yes, because then I can beat them up,” Alex says in a fake threat but doesn’t even attempt to get out of bed. “How bad was mom crying?”

“Pretty bad,” Nora answers, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden. “She was just in the middle of the living room sobbing. Like on the floor. She didn’t see me and now all the lights are off in the house.” The room is now screaming in silence.

June must see the guilt written on Alex’s face because she crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed, taking one of Alex’s hands in hers. ”Can you tell me what happened?”

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to admit that he broke his own mother’s heart in an attempt to save his own. But June squeezed his hand and Henry set his chin on Alex’s shoulder urging him on. 

“Yeah. Okay.” And he spilled.

He talked about not listening to his mom, and how he instantly jumped to some conclusion, which made June comment, “You always do that.” He discussed his fear of Henry leaving and them ending up like June and his parents, which led to Henry’s arm protectively coming around his waist and pulling them closer together. And when he finally got to the part where he told his mom he’d run away the girls in the room gasped and Alex fell forward, burying his face into the sheets. 

“I know. I know. I’m a horrible son and a worse person.”

June, ever the loving sister, laughs at him and releases their hands. She jumps off his bed with such enthusiasm, and Alex feels like he could become motion sick. “That, baby brother-” Alex groans, but looks up at her. “Is factually incorrect. Nora. Numbers.”

Nora smiles sweetly, and Alex can tell he’s going to hate what is about to happen next. “Zero percent change on Alex being, quote-unquote, ‘a horrible son and a worse person’. One hundred percent change June is going to make you get out of bed and go downstairs for some ice cream.”

Henry laughs from behind Alex and gently pushes Alex up and off the bed as June nods and makes her way over to the bedroom door. The four of them file downstairs softly, careful not to wake up Ellen and Leo. June and Nora make quick work into the kitchen, leaving the boys alone in the living room. 

June and Nora scream.

“MOM! JESUS FUCK!”

“AHHH ELLEN! I mean, um. Mom-in-law, hi. Uh. I’m just gonna, go. Yeah okay. Oh, hey Bea.”

“Bea?” Henry choked out in horror. Alex and Henry exchange looks as they both realized they were in a load of trouble.

Trouble in paradise wasn’t something Alex and Henry had much of, but Alex found out very early on in their relationship, that whenever Henry is nervous to tell Alex something he becomes distant. When he’s genuinely scared and confused, he’ll try to freeze him out of his life. And when Henry’s lost and terrified, he’ll try a break-up with him. In short, Henry doesn’t know how to ask for help. They were getting better at it though.

When Henry’s father passed away a year ago, Alex had never felt more pride than he had when Henry climbed through his bedroom window, asking to be comforted. He was lost, and scared, and nervous, and completely and utterly terrified, and he came to Alex for help.

He assumed that they were past the phase of ignoring each other until things blew up, but Alex knows the signs all too well. Dry text messages that include; red heart emojis in response to an “I love you”, yes in response to yes or no questions when he would usually say “of course” or “no god please no”, and worst of all, sending a thumbs up emoji when Alex asks if everything is okay.

“I’m going to kill this man!” Alex shouts, throwing his phone onto his bed, watching it bounce and land on a pillow. Alex sighed loudly and before counting to ten. He was at seven when someone-- most likely his mom--knocked on his door. “Go away! I’m not in a good mood!” Alex knew that when Henry was like this, there were only two things he could do: text Pez to tell his best friend to get his head out of his ass or wait it out. And as it turned out, Pez wasn’t answering his messages either. So, Alex paced his room. 

They had just started their senior year, just about to wrap up their last first semester. They were supposed to go to visit June and Pez’s college in a few weeks. They were going to go to a party at MIT with Nora and her classmates. They were supposed to do everything in their power to not let Philip and Henry’s grandmother try and convince Henry to go to school in England. They were supposed to be together.

He contemplated calling June, but she was at school right now, being an adult. That’s probably what Pez was doing too. Alex was getting antsy just waiting for a fight to happen. He could pull a “show up at his window unannounced and force him to talk” like he did back in sophomore year after they had been dating for eight months and Henry decided to ghost him. He was scared to confront talking about love. What the fuck is he scared of now?

And so, like a fifteen-year-old, he put on the closest jacket to him, ran downstairs, didn’t say a word to his mother or step-father, and walked out the door with his keys in hand.

He found Henry, sobbing in the middle of his room, everything but his bed and a few clothes packed into boxes labeled LONDON. They didn’t speak for three hours, just held each other and cried. They held each other and tried for three hours, neither of them willing to speak.

Speaking felt impossible after the commotion in the kitchen died down. Alex found himself sitting in between Henry and the arm of the sofa. The air was tense as he watched his mother stand next to the couch and the front door. Nora and June situated themselves by the stairs as Bea took a seat in one of the armchairs. Alex felt a scream bubble up in his gut, but instead, he settled on bouncing his foot up and down. He felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“June. Nora. Please go upstairs.”

“Nope,” Nora stated. “I can sense yelling. I’m not involved. I’m staying.”

June laughed, “Why would you even be involved?” Nora shrugged. Alex thought, not for the first time, that they would have been great together.

Ellen sighs and turns her attention to the boys in front of her. “First of all. I am not the enemy, okay?”

Alex nods immediately, “I know, ma’am. I was scared, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said about dad and I won’t run away.”

“I know you are, sugar. But you said some pretty adult things last night.” The way she phrased ‘last night’ made it seem like last night was a long time ago, not less than five hours ago. “You basically said you were willing to run away with him. What do you even know about him?”

This question confused Alex. She made it seem like they barely knew each other as if they didn’t know each other for years, “What do I know about him? Mom, I love him.”

“You can’t make adult life decisions without the experience to back it up, Alexander. What does that mean to you? Love? Explain it to me.”

Alex knew he wasn’t the one in the relationship that was good with words. Henry simply speaks in prose, and Alex finds himself stumbling over the same thought for hours sometimes, but the easiest thing in his life was loving Henry. The easiest thing for Alex to do was talk about Henry.

“I met Henry in seventh grade. I was twelve, he was thirteen. He was only in my grade because his parents decided to take a year to travel before moving to the states and the US school system didn’t recognize his traveling homeschooling as a ligament school year. I know that we were partnered up for an assignment his first day of school and he wanted tea at three in the afternoon and June made a joke that accidentally made him uncomfortable. I know that, that was the first time I realized I wanted to protect him from anything that could hurt him and I have never stopped feeling that way. I know his favorite movie is Return of the Jedi and I know it’s the wrong choice, but he’s a big romantic. I know I love arguing over stupid stuff like that and I hate arguing over big things like if it’s okay to love each other. Because I love him, Mom. I love that his favorite color is royal blue, but he refuses to call it that. He calls it dark blue and he loves it because it reminds him of the night sky, and he loves the night sky because his dad taught him about the stars. I don’t have a technical definition of love, Mom, and I don’t think I have to. Because I know I do and isn’t that all that matters?”

Alex feels lightheaded but he breaths out a laugh when Henry drops his head into the space between Alex’s neck and shoulder. His mom looks stunned.

“Shall I call the caters?” Nora asked, followed immediately by a knock on the door. “Never mind, that's them.” 

“You know, I felt that same way about your father,” Ellen said as she went to open the door, revealing Pez who immediately went to June and Nora. Before Alex could even process the sentence his mom had said and convert it to white-hot anger, June snapped at her.

“That is completely unfair, and you know it.”

Bea cleared her throat and Henry tensed before lifting his head. “If I could give this a try?” While Bea was a cool sister and loved Henry a lot, Henry didn’t want to ask anything of Bea. She was going through a lot, with recovery and deciding on what to do with her future. It wasn’t fair to ask her to take care of him. But she also wasn’t a strong believer in making decisions based on love, especially after seeing how that left their mother. “I think what Ms. Claremont is trying to say is, you are both young. You are making decisions about your future without thinking about what it would look like if you two don’t work out. We are worried for the both of you.”

Henry coughs and all eyes shift to him. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my future. With and without Alex. And I’m willing to do everything in my power to make sure I never have to live out my worst nightmare of being without him.”

Ellen and Bea share a look and nod. Bea stands and Ellen starts, “We are not the enemy. We are on your side.”

“Which is why, Pez, you are off the hook. H, I talked to mom already. You will be staying with me until graduation. Who knows. Maybe it’ll be good for me too.” She smiles and Henry is off the couch in a second, grabbing onto her and pulling her into a hug.

Alex stands up and looks at his mom. “I really am sorry. About everything I said. Well, not everything. I’m not sorry I love him.”

Ellen pulls him into a hug, tears in her eyes. “Good.”

The moment the principal said congratulations to their graduating class, the confetti cannons sounded, and the shouting and celebrating started with a bang. As black and gold confetti floated down upon them, grad caps were being thrown into the air, and Alex was pulled into a frenzied kiss by his boyfriend of four years, or five, depending on which kiss counted as the real first kiss. They still hadn’t decided. Alex laughed into the kiss as he was hit on the back of the head with a cap.

“We did it!” Alex shouted, jumping around before wrapping his arms around Henry’s neck, settling into his space, swaying them softly. Alex was ecstatic and Henry looked dazed as if he couldn’t believe his luck. They were completely lucky. 

After a moment of just smiling at each other, Henry blurted out, “Move in with me.” And Alex froze, his eyes wide. 

“What?” He was certain he misheard with all the screaming and shouting that was a reasonable assumption. He had to mishear. Maybe he was asking to watch a movie with him later. Maybe he was simply saying that this was like a movie.

“I’ve been saving up my money from the bookshop for over a year and a half. I was planning on saving it for my dorm housing payment, but it’s actually cheap to rent an apartment.” He laughs sweetly, “I was going to ask you at your graduation party but I couldn’t wait. So, please, will you move in with me?”

The cheering seemed to die down, but that was probably just Alex losing his ability to sense anything other than Henry. “Yes.” Alex nodded vigorously. “I would love to.” It’s not like he also didn’t have money saved up for the exact same thing; he just didn’t expect this to happen so soon. 

But then again, when it came to them, when did anything go as expected?