Chapter Text
1.
It was on a late-night mining stream when Ranboo first genuinely slipped up.
"Honest thoughts on Tubbo?" He mumbled softly, reading a donation, "Uh, he's cool, I like him! A great... a great friend, mhm, mhm..."
"Alt stream? Oh, man... maybe, maybe. Soon, probably." He answered another, before chewing on his tongue in thought.
"No, yeah, Tubbo's great," He continued, ignoring another 'can you say hi to-' dono to continue talking about Tubbo. "He's, uh, he's definitely someone who I'd say helped me through a lot? I mean, all my friends are great, and, I mean, Philza was the one who even pushed me to start streaming- but Tubbo, he like- uh... like, if I ever need someone, he's there, you know?"
He snorted, watching as chat was divided into 2 types of messages- one half claiming he was farming awws, the other half aww-ing.
"Chat, I'm not farming awws," He chuckled, before pausing, "Or maybe I am. You'll never know." He cackled.
"Um, yeah... Tubbo- man, I can't wait for travel ban to be lifted, I have so many ideas for things we can do." He smiled softly, "It'll be weeks worth of content, guys, be excited. Oh, man- like, everyone's meeting up, you know? I just- you know, I've been vaccinated, and now I'm just counting down the days until I can meet Tubbo, I'm so excited."
"We know?" He asked, reading a particular message in chat, before laughing. "Someone in chat just said 'we know'. You don't, actually, you don't know how much I miss Tubbo, actually."
"I- chat! Stop saying you know!" Ranboo scoffed, pulling up the lore screen for a brief second to keep them in line. (And for shits and giggles, too, but he wouldn't tell). "PSST! PSST! Yeah, that's right, chat, behave. You don't know, actually."
Anonymous gave us some 3$!
oh my god he's in love /p /j
"Oh my god he's in love," He muttered, reading the dono.
Chat was exploding with repetitions of "WEIRDCHAMP DONO", "GUYS THEY'RE FRIENDS", or even "LMFAOOOO".
Ranboo ignored them, staring at the dono, pursing his lips.
"Oh my god he's in love? Pfft, take away the slash p. Maybe, I don't know. I do like Tubbo a lot." He said thoughtlessly, "Oh, emeralds!"
Chat was blowing up, on his second monitor, Twitter was blowing up, and in a matter of seconds, Ranboo's brain blew up.
WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I-
"I mean, we're literally married with a son, chat." He added on hastily, "It'd be weird if we weren't in love, canonically speaking- oh, thank you so much for the 10 tier ones!"
And just like that, it was over, the slip up being brushed off as "ranboo is constantly thinking about lore" and excuses like "he knows what /p means, he knows the dono meant platonic love, he was just joking guys."
It was dumb, but it worked to his advantage- as per usual, there were hundreds and thousands of tweets begging for the travel ban to be lifted for the sake of the long-awaited "beeduo meetup!"
As he ended stream 2 hours later, he stared at all the tweets begging for a meetup, cracking a bitter grin. No one on Twitter wanted a meetup as much as he did- and that was saying something.
2.
It had been on a call with Tommy when he slipped up next- Tubbo was streaming on his alt, probably 3 hours in, and Ranboo needed company from someone his actual age. (No offense to Philza, he was great company but sometimes he just didn't get it.)
Tommy wasn't live, and neither was Ranboo- but the distinctive clip-clop of mechanical keyboards was loud over the two boys' mics. He was pretty sure Tommy was editing something- Ranboo himself was finishing up some dumb essay for his AP Literature class.
"Hey, Big R," Tommy started conversationally, his loud voice prevalent over the obnoxious clicking noises.
"Hm?" Ranboo responded non-commitally, "What's up?"
"Do you like Tubbo?" Tommy asked.
"Wh- I- how did you know I liked him like that?" Ranboo asked immediately, his fingers pausin from where they were hovering above the keys. "Wait- I mean, no, I don't like him like that. At all. I don't like Tubbo, no."
"...Big man, I meant, like, as a friend." Tommy said slowly, after a long pause.
Ranboo gulped. "...Oh."
"Well fuckin' yeah, 'oh', you've got a crush on Tubbo?!"
"Uh... well, uh, yeah, I guess. But to answer your question, I like him as a friend." Ranboo paused, "Why did you- uh, why did you ask if I liked him? I mean, as a friend?"
"...I was asking because Tubbo's been real excited about your meetup or whatever the fuck," Tommy answered, "And if you ended up bailing, he'd be really upset. But... I guess you're not gonna bail, since you're fuckin' in love with him and shit."
"Is it... uh, are you okay with that?" Ranboo asked, "I mean, me liking him."
"Why are you asking me?" Tommy asked gruffly, before his voice softened, "Man, if you mean liking guys in general, I'm totally okay with it. You're no different, Ranboo. And if you mean liking Tubbo specifically? Why should I have a problem with that? I mean, yeah man, I wonder why, but it's okay with me. You should be more worried about Tubbo's reaction."
"What do you mean Tubbo's reaction?" Ranboo scoffed, angrily typing out an Oxford comma.
"...You are gonna tell him you like him, right?" Tommy asked weakly, "So you can date and shit?"
"No?" Ranboo let out a breathy laugh, "Why would I? He's probably straight."
"Mighty heteronomative of you, mate." Tommy said with a chuckle, but the way he said it was mocking- a snooty tone like 'het-ruh-nou-ma-tiff'.
Or it could have just been his accent. Ranboo found hinself cracking a small smile at the thought.
"I mean, he's probably straight, though. And even if he wasn't, he probably doesn't like me." Ranboo shrugged, "Yeah, he definitely doesn't like me."
There was a small twinge of pain by his chest as he uttered the words, but the truth always hurt, really. Nothing that Ranboo wasn't used to.
From the other side of the call, Tommy let out a deep sigh.
"...Whatever you say, mate." He sniffed, "Whatever you say. But if you ever do decide to tell him... and he treats you bad, I'm gonna kick his ass."
"Whoa there, Tommy," Ranboo joked, to lighten the mood. "Choosing me over Tubbo? What will Twitter say?"
"Fuck Twitter, and if Tubbo's being a dick over something you can't control, then fuck him, too." Tommy answered sternly.
"...Thanks, Tommy." Ranboo smiled. Tommy grunted in reply.
3.
"Tubbo!" Ranboo gasped, "AAAH- Stop- stop hitting me, please!" He laughed.
It was one of the rare occasions in which neither Tubbo nor Ranboo were streaming, and they weren't in dire need to be on anyone else's stream. At first, Ranboo considered strip mining on the Dream SMP just to kill time, but Tubbo had decided to play on the Origins SMP, and asked if Ranboo would be willing to hop onto VC and mess around.
And, well, who was Ranboo to disagree? Unfiltered Tubbo conversations were always fun.
"I'm a beeeeeee-" Tubbo hummed, flying around with the click of a key, "I can't wait 'til we start doing a storyline here, I bet I could be really fuckin' useful."
"You're already pretty useful, Tubbo," Ranboo pointed out with a laugh, "No more stacking blocks or using ladders to reach stuff, you can just... uh, fly."
"Yeah, this is really handy," Tubbo giggled, flying around their little Minecraft house, "But like, you know. Lots of downsides."
Ranboo snorted, "Yeah, you can't be extremely like, you know, overpowered. Even you need weaknesses."
"Rub it in my face, why don't you." Tubbo scoffed, "Go and... get me some wood, Ranboo! I need wood. Right now, actually."
"Wh- right now?!"
"Yes right now!" Tubbo exclaimed.
"This is really one-sided," Ranboo laughed, "You're a gold digger no matter what the server is."
"...I'm making our house, shut up," Tubbo answered, instead of replying. "Besides, we already talked about this on stream before! It's not one-sided, you're the one who said so."
Not one sided. Ranboo blushed at the words out of context- god, that'd be daydream fuel for weeks. In any other context, Ranboo would go crazy- but there was only a long, extended period of silence after the words.
"-anboo? Ranboo? You alright?" Tubbo's voice came in clearly, "Dude? What's happening?"
"Huh..." Ranboo paused, his mind blanking at the sentence Tubbo had just uttered. How long had he sat in silence?
"Wait, what did you just say? Sorry, uh, Discord just... glitched." He lied. It was a shitty lie, too, but at this point, Tubbo seemed to roll with everything Ranboo said.
"I said it wasn't one-sided," Tubbo repeated slowly, "Our partnership."
"Oh," Ranboo nodded, "Right. Sorry, my set-up's just so incredibly scuffed."
"Yeah, you mentioned," Tubbo snorted, "Now go get me my fucking wood, boss man."
"Right, right." Ranboo nodded.
Just mess-up after mess-up. Ranboo found himself wondering when all the mess-ups would inevitably pile over him until he reached the point of no return. (In fact, Ranboo had an inkling that he was already at it.)
As he chopped away at trees, the smile on his face didn't fade.
"It's not one-sided," Tubbo's voice repeats over and over in his head.
He pretended he wasn't as pathetic as he felt, clinging onto an out of context statement to make himself feel better about how his feelings would never be requited.
+1
"Hey, 'Boo," Tubbo whispered, voice croaky and sleepy- he should have been asleep hours ago, but Ranboo and him had marathoned a season or two of the Office, and hours flew by like seconds.
"Yeah?" Ranboo asked, tone soft and fond. If Tubbo noticed, he could always chalk it down to Ranboo's energy level going down because of sleepiness. Oh, the beauty and convenience of sleep calls to a pining teen.
"Do you hate me?" Tubbo asked timidly, "You've been acting weird- you... I don't know, big man. When we're not on stream, you just act... different, I guess. I thought it was just because you'd be tired, or because you just act different on and off stream, but... I dunno, it's stupid."
"It's not stupid," Ranboo said immediately, "But I could never, ever hate you, Tubbo. Quite the opposite, actually." He added on hastily, without really thinking about his words, only wanting them to remedy any distress his friend felt.
"But..." Tubbo paused again. His camera was on, and through the dim lighting, Ranboo could see him biting his lip in thought. "I... uh. Tommy said there was something you weren't telling me. Something important. Did I do something?"
Ranboo's shoulders tensed. Did Tommy tell him?
As though he could read Ranboo's thoughts, Tubbo was quick to speak again. "He also said he couldn't tell me and it had to come from you. He didn't tell me. But... I still want to know. If it's okay."
"Um." Ranboo said, very eloquently, thank you very much. "I told him... um, that I was really excited to meet up with you once travel ban lifted."
"Bullshit," Tubbo responded, sounding upset, "I already know that Twitch chat and Twitter knows that too. Everyone knows that. Just... if it's that important, I don't need to know. Just tell me if it's something bad I did."
"It's something you did," Ranboo admitted, after a pause, "But it's not a bad thing you did. If anything... uh, I did the bad thing. And, uh, I feel... guilty, I guess, still being your friend even with the... bad... thing, yeah. But it's not your fault, Tubbo."
"It is my fault, isn't it?" Tubbo said miserably, "If something I did made you do something bad enough that you feel guilty then it's definitely my fault!"
"No, Tubbo, it's not!" Ranboo exclaimed irritably, before immediately quieting down. "S-sorry. But I mean it. It's not your fault."
"...You're angry."
"I'm not angry. Just... frustrated." Ranboo frowned.
"Because of me." Tubbo finished, sounding defeated. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Ranboo replied, the ghost of a laugh tracing his face as the moon shone from the window onto his face. "Because it's not your fault. I promise."
"I don't want things between us to get all weird." Tubbo admitted, "Because I... you're one of my best friends, Ranboo. You are my best friend. My favorite person."
Butterflies swarmed his stomach, and Ranboo hoped that his camera couldn't show Tubbo just how bright his cheeks had turned.
"You're mine, too." Ranboo croaked out, wishing that his words were used in a response to a very different, very romantic, and very in-real-life-and-in-person type of situation. "My best friend."
"I..." Tubbo paused, looking like he was about to say something. "The sun's rising. I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep."
Ranboo nodded, his finger hovering over the option to leave the call.
"Good... night? Morning, I guess?" Ranboo shrugged.
"You better get some sleep, too." Tubbo ordered.
"Of course." Ranboo smiled, before finally leaving.
And... hey. He figured he could never mess up, if he just... never, ever told Tubbo, right?
Right.