Chapter Text
Skara was crying on their bed. This week had been horrible. It had started out normal enough, being bored in class, pining for Luz, trying to work up the nerve to confess to Luz before inevitably chickening out. Until it took a downward turn.
Until they got assigned a school project with Luz. Luz and Skara agreed to meet at Skara’s house after school. At least a few hours with their crush, alone. Skara wasn’t going to be dramatic, but, maybe something would happen. Probably not but even the slight thought of it made Skara’s heart race and butterflies to bounce around in their stomach.
After school when they got to Skara’s house they led Luz up to their room. Leaving them in the room with only Luz. Just Luz. They were terrified.
“Uh, make yourself at home.” Skara pointed to her bed. “I need to use the bathroom.” They lied.
Skara got up and hurried to the bathroom. When they closed the door they sat down and pulled out their scroll. Skara texted their friends.
Skara: Guys
Skara: Fuckk
Skara: I have a project with Luz and she’s at my house and I panicked and now im hiding in the bathroom
Amelia: Dude
Amelia: Stop being a coward and go be with ur gf
Skara: shes not my gf
Cat: Yet
Amelia: Its just a school project, whats the big deal.
Skara: shes alone with me
Cat: you’ve been alone with her plenty of times whats different now?
Skara: SHES ALONE WITH ME IN MY HOUSE
Skara: ON MY BED
Skara: YOU CANNOT BE ALONE WITH YOUR CRUSH ON YOUR BED AND NOT THINK OF WHAT YOU COULD BE DOING ON THAT BED
Amelia: Dude stop being so dramatic
Skara: IM NOT BEING DRAMATIC YOUR BEING DRAMATIC
Skara: FUCK WRONG YOU’RE
Amelia: Calm down maybe
Skara: okay
Skara: im breathing
Cat: they’ve lost it
Cat: they used the whole okay
Amelia: honestly dude maybe now you should confess now
Skara: wHAT
Cat: WHAT
Amelia: I mean, think about it.
Amelia: Your alone, so no public embarrassment
Amelia: Luz is really nice so if she rejects you your friendship probably wont go haywire
Amelia: But I do think she might like you tho
Skara: You think she might like me?
Amelia: I mean, I’ve caught her maybe checking you out sometimes.
Skara: ok
Skara: maybe idk will (huge maybe)
Skara: I do need to calm down a bit tho
Skara: collect myself
Cat: yeah don't want to be like Amity in 7th grade when she tried to ask this girl out and all she said was "out" before running away
Skara: classic
Amelia: queen shit
Skara: anyways give me a few to calm down and then I might do this shit
Amelia: honestly if you don't want to no rush
Amelia: but like, I think you should
Skara breathed deep breaths. They looked in the mirror. “You can do this Skara.” Skara said to themself. “Just go out there and say the thing.” They brushed back their hair trying their best not to look like they had just been panicking.
“Hey Skara.” Luz looked up from her phone as Skara walked in. “You ready to get started?”
“Um, first there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” Skara looked down to avoid eye contact. ‘Ok Skara this is it. Just do the thing and tell her.’ They thought.
“Hm? Yeah, what is it?” Luz put her phone away to give her full attention to Skara.
“So, uh.” Skara rubbed the back of their neck. “I’ve, uh, like you for a while and, uh, I was thinking maybe we could go on a date or something.”
‘Smooth Skara.’ they thought.
Luz went beet red. “You like me?” Luz said quietly. “As in, like like me?”
Skara nodded. “Yes.” They said simply.
“Skara, I, um.” Luz was stuttering. “I’m flattered you like me and all, but I like someone else.”
‘Oh, of course.’ Just when Skara had gotten their hopes up, boom. Luz likes someone else. Of course she did, why would Skara even think that she had a hope with Luz. Kind, sweet, funny, cute Luz.
Skara stood there, silent. “Are you alright Skara?” Luz stood up to comfort Skara, but they pulled away.
“I’m fine, let’s just do the project.” Skara looked away.
“Skara, I’m really sorry.” Luz sounded really genuine, but Skara didn’t care, it still hurt just as much. “I just…” Luz stopped for a second, looking for words. “Don’t think of you like that.”
Skara was holding back tears now. “It’s ok, let’s just do the damn project.” Luz didn’t believe that for one second. For one thing Skara had sworn, something they rarely did. But she didn’t want to upset Skara potentially more.
The two got to doing the project. However Skara was barely paying attention the whole time, just trying not to start crying in front of Luz. Despite being there for several hours they barely got any work done.
"I should get going." Luz snapped Skara out of their daze. "Eda will be expecting me for dinner soon."
"Ok, bye." Skara honestly couldn't wait for Luz to get out so she could be alone.
"Skara I'm really sorry for not returning your feelings. I hope this doesn't mess up our friendship."
"It won't." Skara gave Luz a small fake smile.
"Ok. Bye Skara." Luz waved and went downstairs toward the front door.
Skara flopped down on their bed. And just laid there. They closed their eyes and willed herself not to cry. They got a text from the group chat with their friends.
Amelia: did you tell her?????
Skara left it on read and kept laying until dinner. They were unusually quiet during dinner. Not that their parents bothered to notice. They had been very distant even since Skara came out as non binary.
As soon as Skara ate all their food they went up to their room to sulk more. They laid on their bed silently crying. Skara liked Luz, and Luz didn’t like her back. And now Luz knew that. Luz would try her best to keep their friendship alive but Skara wasn’t sure if they wanted that. Just the pure awkwardness of being there with your crush that knew you liked them. It was like being naked in front of them while they were completely clothed.
Skara wouldn’t see Luz until Monday at school, where they would turn in their minimal effort project. Skara was lucky she had the whole weekend to recuperate as opposed to seeing Luz tomorrow.
Skara got up after a few hours of crying and thinking. They went to the bathroom and brushed their teeth. They were going to bed early tonight. Skara checked her scroll one last time before sleeping. There were a few texts.
Amelia: Skara?
Amelia: I think something might’ve gone wrong.
Amelia: They normally text back quickly.
To be honest, Skara kind of blamed Amelia for their embarrassment. If Amelia had not put the idea into Skara’s head that Luz might like them, they wouldn’t have confessed to her and she would’ve had a great time joking around and doing the project with Luz.
Skara turned off their scroll and cried themself to sleep.