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Their first time together was a big blur.
It happened the day after the wedding. After confessing to Karma that she loved her, Amy had stayed locked in her room for hours, pouring over Tumblr pages, watching movies on Netflix and desperately trying to read books. She was fighting off the urge to think about Karma, about the tears in her eyes and the small smile that had graced her lips. It wasn’t fair. Why did Amy have to fall for her best friend? Everything had been fine before that stupid kiss at the Gymnasium and now, she couldn’t even think about Karma without having the insane desire to grab her face and kiss her. She remembered the crippling pain her chest when Karma had said that she needed to think about all of this before storming off. When Amy had looked out her window, she saw her best friend—the person she loved the most—talking with Liam Booker. The pain had intensified and Amy hadn’t left her room ever since.
A lot of people had come to her door. Lauren, demanding that she be there for the family picture. Her mother, asking her what was wrong. Even Bruce, pacing in front of the door for quite some while and not saying anything but Amy knew because that was what he usually did when Lauren and her mother went out for a shopping date. Hell, Shane had called her several times but it wasn’t his name that Amy wanted to see on her phone. She wanted Karma. She wanted the smell of lavender on Karma’s skin, the small bursts of laughter that erupted from her lips when Amy said something stupid and that smile which somehow made everything go bad turn good.
When the clock hit eight pm, somehow Amy knew that Karma wasn’t going to come. Not today, anyway. The yawning pit of agony and pain in her chest had managed to carve deeper. She shut her laptop and her books and put them all away, knowing that what she needed to do next was cry herself to sleep. Before she could however, there was a sound by her window and when she looked out, her heart stumbled and words sputtered out of her mouth but ultimately died in her throat. Because Karma was standing in the garden, wearing pajamas with her eyes puffy and her auburn hair all tangled and twisted. And she was looking at Amy with that look in her eyes that made Amy feel as if she was about to fling herself off the window.
“Can I come in?” Karma asked, her throat scratchy as if she had been screaming.
“Yeah.” Amy hated herself for agreeing so quickly. She should’ve been angry—Karma had, after all, thrown herself at Liam again but how could she say no when Karma was looking at her like that? Like she was going to collapse any second? She threw all caution in the air decided to risk it. She wasn’t going to abandon her best friend like that. She hurried downstairs and opened the front door, letting the cold air in. Karma was standing there, hugging her arms and looking as if she was crying.
Even though Amy wanted to hug her, she didn’t. Self-control, she told herself sternly.
“Hi,” Karma said, her voice weak.
“Hey,” Amy said, leaning against the doorframe and trying to look casual.
“Can we talk?”
There was a slight tremor in her tone and it pulled at Amy’s insides. She nodded and stepped back. Lauren was upstairs in her room and her parents were on their honeymoon so it was just the two of them in the kitchen. Amy made orange juice for Karma, refusing to look into those deep green eyes. She feared that if she did, she’d break down.
“Amy, I’m sorry,” Karma began, “I freaked out, okay? I was confused and I didn’t know what I wanted. I tried to tell myself that you were my best friend and the person I wanted to be with was Liam but—Amy, please look at me.”
Amy did and the sheer heartbreak in Karma’s eyes took her by surprise.
“I was wrong,” Karma confessed, the tears starting to stream down. “I was wrong about Liam and—”
The pounding in Amy’s heart was so loud that she wouldn’t have been surprised if Lauren came thundering down the stairs and yelling about keeping it down. She looked at Karma, steeling herself to say something, anything but her words died in her throat. She was scared that she might say the wrong thing and Karma would leave. That was the thing about having feelings for your best friend. All the words that had been shared over the past could come right back up and bite you in the ass.
“Amy,” Karma said, taking a deep breath.
“What are you trying to say?” Amy asked.
Karma looked at her sadly but there was a little bit of hope in her eyes.
“I’d step off the edge with you,” she said and her tone was full of finality and the silence that followed was like the silence that had followed when Amy had told her that she loved her. The pain in Amy’s chest loosened slightly and without hesitating, she grabbed Karma by the waist and pulled her close. Their lips clashed together and Amy could smell that lavender smell again and judging by the taste of Karma’s mouth, the other girl had recently drank organic tea. They bumped against the counter and Amy laughed as Karma took hold of her bottom lip. That was the thing about Karma; shealways went for the bottom lip.
Karma dropped her hands to Amy’s waist, hiking her shirt up a bit. The blonde shivered when she felt fingers caressing her skin. Sure, she and Karma had always touched each other ever since they were kids but right now, with Amy softly sucking in a deep breath and Karma humming as she kissed her, well it made her go crazy. Her skin felt as if it was on fire, with Karma tracing patterns against it. It made her heart pound louder and louder until she was pretty sure that her best friend could hear it.
So she did what she had to do. She wrapped her arms around Karma, pulling her close. The other girl gasped slightly as Amy ran her hands under her shirt and across her back, teasing with the lock of her bra. Amy could feel her trembling, shaking with want and it made her head swim. They were still kissing then but somehow Karma deepened it and when Amy opened her eyes, she realized that she was blushing.
“Do you really want to do this?” she murmured, pulling away and bumping noses with her best friend.
Karma’s eyes were glazed but she nodded slightly.
They ran up to Amy’s room, stumbling and laughing. Amy was pretty sure that they were loud enough to rouse Lauren but the thought barely registered since Karma was pulling at her, giving her soft kisses and barely hiding her smiles. They hastily pushed open the door and the rest of the night was a big blur of blushing teenagers, awkward laughter and places that hadn’t been touched before being touched. Amy lavished the taste of Karma’s cologne, of that lavender scent and the taste of organic tea. And with Karma whispering her name, it made her feel as if she was going to burst with excitement. And when everything was done and the silence hushed over them both, Karma (still wonderfully naked) curled over to Amy. Her breath stirred her blonde curls and it made her smile.
“Whoa,” Karma murmured.
“I know,” Amy agreed.
.
The next day, Amy woke up to the sound of Karma’s soft breathing. The other girl always took up space in bed and right now wasn’t much different. Karma’s arm was slung across her chest and her leg was strewn against Amy’s thighs. Her auburn curls were covering most of Amy’s face but she didn’t mind. She could smell the lavender shampoo. Waking up to this image took her breath away. She would’ve never guessed that her dreams would became reality. She could still remember her dream about kissing Karma but this—having the real scent of her best friend overwhelming her nose and getting to plant soft kisses against her lips—was even better.
“Hey, Karma,” Amy murmured, shaking her shoulder. The other girl didn’t move but mumbled her name instead. Trying hard not to blush, Amy tried again.
“Later. Five minutes.”
“Can’t do that. We’re late for school.”
Karma slowly opened her eyes. She looked put-off, pouty and disappointed but the complete giddiness in those dark green orbs was unmistakable.
“We should skip classes,” Karma said, snuggling closer. Amy sighed and carefully disentangled their limbs.
“We both have a pop quiz to catch up on.” As much as she liked the idea, Amy knew that putting off school would have disastrous consequences. Liam was probably in a sour mood today and Shane would be dying to know the details but Amy wasn’t really thinking about them. She was thinking of a day just holding Karma’s hand, laughing with her, kissing her without worrying about unrequited feelings. She was thinking of a day where there was no faking it, where feelings were real, where the smile on Karma’s face wasn’t just for show, where her lingering gazes were heartfelt, where everything basically didn’t suck.
Karma frowned, staring at her. “You just want to show off, don’t you?”
“Well, we’re not faking it anymore.” She bent down and pecked her best friend lightly on the lips. “And I’d like to kiss you in public without having to worry about you freaking out.”
“Glad that part is over.”
Amy slid off the bed. She was shamelessly naked and she could feel Karma’s eyes on her back, staring. She felt embarrassed, being stared at so she hastily grabbed some clothes from her closet and hurried to the bathroom. She closed the door but didn’t locked it. She took a moment to remember last night, all the sweet and soft kisses, the head bumping and the laughter that always diffused the awkwardness. She remembered Karma’s hands running all over body and her lips against hers. She remembered the intense pleasure of it all and the way her name sounded in Karma’s breath. The memory made her blush but smile as well. Who knew Karma was so good with her tongue? Crap. The thought made her stomach tighten.
She headed to the shower and turned it on, knowing that the warmth of the water would probably make the dirty thoughts go away but it didn’t. In fact, it seemed to intensify. The trail of the water was like Karma’s lips on her skin. And the soft steam was like Karma sighing into her mouth. And—damn it. Amy ran her hands through her hair, slightly mortified by herself. Of course this would happen. If kissing Karma at the Gym gave her dreams then surely having sex with her would have more dire consequences.
There was suddenly a noise behind her. Amy turned, wondering if it was Lauren.
“Hello?” she called out.
Nobody answered. She frowned then turned back to her shower. She reached for the soap, thinking about last night while also trying to think about school. She wondered what the look on Liam’s face would be if they ever crossed paths. She’d love to see the anger and jealously in his eyes. And if she could give him a piece of her mind, she would—
“Damn it, Karma!” She knew that giggle anywhere. She whipped around, splashing water everywhere. She spotted her best friend immediately, hiding behind the curtains.
“Sorry,” Karma said, laughing. “I couldn’t resist.”
Amy sighed but managed a heartfelt smile. “Well, are you going to come over here then?”
It took thirty minutes for them to get out of the shower since Karma insisted on kissing every part of Amy’s body and letting Amy roam her hands across her thighs and waist. They shared too many kisses in there, with the water running between them. Amy wondered how many kisses they’ve gotten already and if it was okay to add a few more.
When they stepped out, Karma was a giggling mess. She kept glancing over at Amy and then pulling her in for more deep kisses. Amy didn’t mind. Being kissed by Karma Ashcroft was sort of a gift right now.
“Crap,” Karma said suddenly as she stood there, with a towel wrapped around her body.
“What’s up?” Amy was already locking her bra and shoving in some pants. Karma was still dripping by the doorway.
“I didn’t bring any clothes with me,” Karma confessed, sounding embarrassed.
Amy straightened up, brushing her blonde hair off her eyes.
“Don’t worry,” she said, shrugging as Karma turned to her, gaze shamelessly tracing every inch of exposed skin. “You can borrow some of mine. You’ve been here so often that some of your clothes are still here.”
Karma grinned then hurried to her side, grabbing shirts and jeans without a care in the world. Amy snorted when she spotted her best friend tugging in her grey beanie. As Amy pulled on her comfortable loose shirt with the words I HATE PEOPLE printed on it, she listened to Karma talking rapidly about last night, and how she came in terms with her feelings for her.
“After I left your house, I cried on my mom’s shoulder because I broke your heart and I didn’t want to lose you. I spent the rest of the day holed up in my room, trying to watch the same movies we loved but I sort of got nostalgic and it made me miss you more. I tried talking to Liam but the spark wasn’t there, I guess so I stopped him mid-sentence and told him that we were finally over. Then I walked around the neighborhood at 6 pm because I didn’t know what to do and what to think about. I called Shane and he told me everything about you trying to move on by going to this gay club and as I listened to him rant and rant, I kept thinking, ‘this is exactly what Amy would do; avoid her feelings until she’s facing it’ and I hung up on him and kept walking until my feet were sore. When I looked up and realized that I was heading to your house, I finally understood that you were the one person I will always go to, the one person I will never turn my back on and I know that you’d do the same as well. And as I threw the stone against your window, I thought, ‘I’m going to step off the edge with her, even if I’m scared and terrified. I’m going to do it.’ And here we are. The morning after hot crazy mind blowing sex and kisses in the shower. I’m starting to like my choice.”
Amy’s heart was hammering loudly in her chest. She looked up at Karma, tears brimming in her eyes. The other girl was wearing her infamous donut shirt and black rugged jeans. She looked adorable, especially with the beanie topped off on her head. If anybody looked at her right now, they’d know that she was wearing Amy’s clothes. The thought made the blonde flush with pride. Hell yeah.
“We’re an hour late already,” she said.
Karma turned to her, her auburn curls swishing to the side. Her green eyes lit up as she grinned.
“Everybody needs a grand entrance, right?” she said, swooping over and giving Amy a kiss.
Amy smiled.
.
Shane was the first person to spot them. They were holding hands as they walked into school. It was lunch time. They had decided to spend the remaining hours of the morning going to Starbucks and finishing their math homeworks. Amy had graciously come to the realization that those pop quizzes hardly mattered. Getting to hold Karma’s hand in public, kissing her when she wanted to, laughing at the same stupid jokes. That mattered. And she wasn’t going to let school get in the way.
When they walked into the grounds, laughing and giggling, Amy could swear that most of the entire student body’s eyes snapped towards them both but it was Shane who ran towards them, smiling so hugely that it looked like it had to hurt. He hugged them both, whispering,
“Hello, my lovely lesbians.”
“Shane, it’s good to see you.” Karma laughed.
He pulled back and looked at Karma first. “You’re wearing Amy’s donut shirt and beanie.”
“I am.”
Shane gave Amy a look who just shrugged and blushed.
“And can someone tell me the entire story?” he asked.
Amy didn’t want to but of course, Karma, who always wanted attention and a large amount of friends latched immediately onto his arm and began gushing about the tale of her walking around in the middle of the night, thinking about Amy and only Amy and of course, the huge speech Karma had made about being pulled over the edge. Shane didn’t seem put off by the information overload. In fact, he seemed equally excited.
Amy watched them both, smiling. She caught Karma’s eye and her girlfriend pulled her in for a quick kiss.
“You spent the night together?” Shane asked, sounding dumbfounded as they pulled away.
“Yes.” Amy looked around, grinning inwardly when she spotted Liam Booker sulking off.
“And Karma’s wearing your clothes.”
“Yes.” Karma smirked.
Shane laughed and then wrapped an arm around them both. He smelled of aftershave and perfume. Amy grabbed hold of his hand like it was nothing but she was also holding Karma’s behind Shane’s back.
“I can tell when people just had sex, okay? And don’t give me too much information, Karma. I love lesbian porn but my ears are still prone to bleeding.”
But Karma told him anyway and Amy’s ears surely weren’t bleeding.