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"Friends with benefits? What are the benefits? Health benefits?"
The group is looking at him funny again. Jeff with a raised eyebrow, Annie with a slight tilt to her head and Britta with concern.
"That would be so cool." Troy can always count on Abed for agreeing with him.
"We should do that." Shirley seems to choke on air because when Troy turns to check on her, she's not drinking anything but her eyes are still wide. Troy frowns and turns back to Abed. "Don't only married people get health benefits though? Is it the same with friends like this or do we need to get married?" A lightbulb goes off in Troy's head and he has the greatest idea ever. "We should get married."
"Er, Troy, that's not really-" Troy doesn't turn to Annie because Abed has his small smile on and it's really pretty. This is a great idea and he refuses to believe otherwise.
"No, Annie, wait from him to figure it out himself."
"Jeff, I don't think he's going to."
Abed was tapping his hands against the table but then he suddenly stops. "We can't get married."
Troy's stomach sinks. "Why not? It's a great idea. The greatest."
"Oh, I agree it's a great idea but we can't get married. It's not legal in Colorado. We also can't get civil unions here-"
"Damn, this state is so backwards." Britta interjects.
"But we can get a designated beneficiary agreement."
Troy blinks. "And that has benefits?" It seems like a simpler question than what the fuck is a designated beneficiary agreement. He's only heard the word beneficiary be used last year when Pierce did his whole weird fake heart attack gift documentary thing.
"Yep. It has some of the same rights as a civil union. We would become each other's next of kin, be allowed to make medical decisions for the other and get each other's life insurance, along with some other things. It's the closer thing to marriage same sex people are allowed in this state."
Medical decisions are from what Troy's seen - big dramatic scenes when one spouse has to visit the other on their deathbed - from some movies are a big part in what makes a marriage better than a normal relationship so this designated thing seems good enough. "Okay. Let's do that then. Just remember I'm not meant to have any blood transfusions."
Abed smiles, a little wider than usual. They're getting 'married'. Troy is getting kinda 'married' to his best friend.
"Wait, you guys aren't actually doing this are you?"
"Boys, there's a reason same sex marriage isn't allowed in this state."
"Shirley, we should be happy for them. Even if it is weird and strange and not what I thought was going to happen today. They're brave and strong for doing this."
"Okay, is nobody going to mention the fact Troy can't have blood transfusions?"
Abed looks away to face the group and Troy wonders how that's possible. Troy kinda wants to stare at Abed and feel this warmth forever. The warmth isn't new, the wanting to stare is but Troy doesn't care about that.
"Annie, we are actually doing this. It's our own choice and we want to. Shirley, we're happy and will have to deal with our religions so don't force your beliefs on us and just be happy for us. Britta, thank you, I think. And Jeff, Jehovah's Witnesses can't have blood transfusions, it's been a subject of debate for ages."
Troy reaches over the corner of the table and taps Abed's arm. Abed then moves his hand over for Troy to grab, he intertwines their fingers.
"But you guys aren't even dating."
"So Annie, it's friends with benefits."
"Troy. You've watched movies. You've watched friends with benefits. How don't you know what it means?" That's Annie's frustrated voice and Troy looks around at the group. Jeff's on his phone, Shirley's hugging her bag but Britta and Annie are both concerned - Annie being annoyed as well.
It clicks.
His hands are cold.
His eyes widen.
His fingers loosen in Abed's.
He has seen friends with benefits - last summer in the cinema with Abed. Mila Kunis was amazing in it, he remembers seeing it.
There have been a lot of times in Troy's life when he has a delayed understanding of a situation and it happens a lot more when something like this gets brought up. He doesn't automatically think sex and that's what that movie was about - causal sex, something he's never quite understood.
His friends think he wants to have sex with Abed - Abed, his best friend. And Abed agreed to this, something he definitely understood from the beginning. He went along with Troy's misunderstanding and defended them. Abed probably didn't realise how much Troy misunderstood this situation. Abed probably wants to have sex with him.
His arms and feet are cold.
His eyes sting.
"Guys. Calm down. I looked it up - well I already knew but I needed to make sure - and designated beneficiary agreements aren't like marriage." Jeff's words cut through Troy's silent panic. He doesn't look away from the point he's staring at on the wall though.
"It's the closest to it in Colorado."
"Abed, it's pretty much glorified life insurance."
"We can visit each other in hospital and became each other's medical proxies - the only thing not really included is power of attorney and wills but we can get that too. It's the closer we can get."
"You don't even have to go to court. You fill out a form and send it to the county office."
"So? It's still a form that would allow us to visit each other in hospital."
"Stop being so hung up on that. You're not dying, Troy's not dying."
"But there's a possibility."
"Abed, stop being crazy."
"Jeff, stop being stupid. If you are aware of another way for us to get married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
"You're- that's - there's - you could - just don't get 'married'."
"Why not? We want to."
"It's - marriage is entrapment and you will have no freedom, you'll be stuck together and YOU TWO AREN'T EVEN TOGETHER!"
Troy finally looks up when Jeff raises his volume. Okay, so this whole thing might not be marriage 'marriage' but it's more than he currently has with Abed and he does want to be with Abed forever - best friends forever shouldn't be an over-exaggeration.
Troy is going to pretend this didn't start from a discussion of friends with benefits and he's also going to try to forget the possibility that Abed might want to have sex with him. He wants to get this agreement thing and he wants to say he's sorta married to his best friend.
And he really does have to say something.
"How do we do it?"
Abed and Jeff - who were glaring at each other - snap their eyes over to Troy.
He tightens his grip on Abed's hand. "How do you get this form thing?"
"Troy, sweetie, you don't have to do this just because it's what Abed wants."
Troy tilts his head at Shirley. "It was my idea. I want to get married-"
"-For fuck's sake it's not marriage."
"To Abed. He's my best friend and that's never going to change. Why shouldn't we have a document that says that?"
"It doesn't really say that though. It's mostly in case you two get injured." Shirley says. "I have a similar agreement where my children are beneficiaries of my property if I pass away."
"Okay. I don't have property but I don't know why I wouldn't want Abed to have it if I di- passed away. We'll probably buy whatever property it is together anyway."
"Troy, sweetie, that's not-"
"Shirley. I want this. Abed isn't forcing me. I understand- I didn't at first but I do now - I want this agreement."
Shirley looks at him and he feels the hand in his tightens. It feels like she's looking very deep into his soul and it seems that this is when her major decision will happen - will Shirley pick her friends and let them be happy or leave. She nods and after a couple seconds smiles. She's staying and Troy smiles back. The tighten grip looses a bit.
Troy turns back to Jeff. "So how do we get the form?"
"You're really going through with this?"
"Yes." And Troy glances at Abed and they share a smile. This is a great idea.
"Okay. You go online, print the form out and then go to a notary, fill it out in front of them, get it signed then send it to the county office. You'll get a letter once it's authorised and officially registered there."
"That's it?" Annie asks. "Really? No fanfare?"
"It's not a marriage certificate. It's glorified life insurance."
"Isn't that what you do with marriage certificates though but instead of a notary, it's a judge?" Britta asks.
"Or a priest."
"Or anyone registered to do so."
"It's not marriage." Jeff's forehead vein is beginning to throb out. "It's nowhere near marriage. You can basically get one of these agreements with anyone - Annie and me could get one or hell, Britta and.. Chang could get one together. It doesn't mean anything."
"It means something to us." Troy doesn't care if it's not really marriage or that him and Abed aren't in a relationship. The form will make their friendship more important than anyone else's - and Troy knows they don't need it to prove that but if they can, why shouldn't they?
"If you don't want us to say we're married even though we aren't actually, then you have to stop telling people you're under 35 - you aren't."
Troy chuckles. "Good one." He goes to do their handshake, realises that they're still holding hands and settles for a high five. It's not the same but holding hands is way better.
"That's - I am - okay." Jeff sighs. "Troy and Abed are getting married, apparently." It sounds like he's pulling his teeth saying that but it doesn't matter because Troy and Abed are getting married.
They look at each other and sing "Troy and Abed getting married." at the same time.
"Congratulations." And Britta looks really happy for them, like actually happy. Troy's glad - he knows she's secretly afraid she'll be left alone and that the whole group will leave. He should do something with her soon - prove that he still thinks she's great and important to him despite this marriage.
"Yeah, congratulations, guys. We should throw a party - like a wedding reception."
"Oh, I have a nice sponge recipe that would make the perfect cake. Abed, you like chocolate and Troy, carrot, right?"
They've agreed to never tell Shirley it's actually the opposite because she messed the order up in their first year and seemed so sure of herself, so they nod.
"We can have it at the apartment. I'll move the boulder into the Dreamatorium."
Both Abed and Annie take out their notebooks and start planning, talking over each other with Annie saying Abed's plans are unrealistic and Abed saying Annie's are too rom-com.
(It's not until Britta points it out that Troy notices that Abed's writing left handed. His plans are legible- but only just. Troy goes to remove his hand - he hadn't realised they were still doing that - so Abed can write better but the grip tightens.)
-
Jeff corners him later on after he gets out of his English class.
"It's not marriage and I'm never going to agree that it is."
Troy rolls his eyes and carries on walking to the library.
"But I am happy for you guys. I'm glad that in some fucked up way you two have pulled your heads out of your asses."
Ah, the famous complisult, he thinks. Troy's actually not entirely sure what Jeff is talking about.
"Thanks?"
"No problem." And just as they get to the study room door, Jeff stops with him with a hand on his shoulder. "Also do not tell Abed I'm never agreeing to calling it that, I really need that age thing."
-
Shirley grabs him when he's in the cafeteria line, deciding whether he should be healthy and get a fruit cup or rely on his youth to save him and get a cookie.
He chooses the cookie.
"Hey sweetie."
"Hey."
They pay and Shirley directs him to sit with her at one of the tables.
She looks nervous and is wearing her WWBJD bracelet from their first Christmas together. It's March.
They make the standard small talk - he asks about her kids (he actually does want to know) and Shirley asks about the new media class he decided to take and he goes off on it, talking about The War Of The Worlds - and how if that happens to him he would've believe the radio - and how the professor keeps mentioning Killer Klowns from Outer Space despite it not even being tacky good.
"You're sounding like Abed."
That's what Annie had said when he talked to her about as well. It's strange and so wrong. Abed had said before that he will only make a sci-fi film if he's forced to and he only really watches them to either make fun of them or because Troy wants to (excluding Star Wars because it's Star Wars - who doesn't love it - and Inspector Spacetime - although Troy does make fun of the early seasons a lot of the time and Abed does joins in sometimes).
"Abed's not the biggest fan of the genre. He's taking the class with me though. The final project is to give a presentation as you're in a sci-fi - like if it's stardate 46732.8 and the Enterprise is on your planet or if Godzilla just attacked. It's so cool."
"Or, or if you see a creepy clown."
"It?"
"The Stephen King novel right? Andre read it a couple of years ago."
It's not really science fiction but Shirley is trying so he smiles. "Yeah, maybe I'll do that." He's not but she's not in the class so it doesn't matter.
"I didn't really want to talk about movies with you though." And she's back to twirling the bracelet around. Shirley puts her hand over his hand and okay he was about to pick up his sandwich but this seems important. "I love you, you know that right?"
"Of course I do. I love you too."
"And I've always accepted you for not being exactly .. ordinary, let's say. I just wanted to tell you I accept this too, you and Abed. As long as you two are happy, I'll try my hardest to be happy for you guys."
"Thank you."
They don't really need Shirley's acceptance but it's great to have and it makes him fill with a relieved warmth. It would suck if Shirley revoked their friendship just because him and Abed want to do something special together.
"But I would like to say that any form of premarital sex is a sin and," She takes off her bracelet and slides it onto Troy's wrist. "It would do good for you two to remember that."
He's lost. Sex has nothing to with him and Abed, as least not on his side - and he's desperately suppressing the maybe on Abed's side.
Troy also doesn't really want to remember how with advances in friendships - even in one as strange as his and Abed's - that it's usually due to sex. He doesn't want to have sex but he doesn't think it's a sin either. The sick feeling he gets when he thinks about it though makes him wonder if that's what Shirley feels like about the other Christian sins.
He moves the bracelet around so the edge of his sleeve covers it.
"Okay." And him and Shirley go back to eating.
He doesn't mention that he's 100% certain Abed has had sex before and that Troy himself went far enough with some girls in highschool that it probably counts as well. (He definitely doesn't mention that he would have actually had sex if he hadn't started panicking.)
-
Annie finds him waiting by his car for Abed's last class to get out.
"Troy!"
"Annie!"
She starts running towards him despite the fact that he's leaning against the car and isn't moving soon.
Annie has a large binder in her hands, with pieces of paper nearing falling out of it. She's grinning wider than Troy's seen, well, since last week when she got an A+ on one of essays.
"Troy!" She's standing next to him now.
"Annie!" He grins back, sue him, he likes seeing his friends happy.
"I've made the plans for the party."
"Already?"
"Yep. Me and Abed managed to compromise so there's going to banners and balloons but there's also going karaoke ABBA."
"Bridesmaids and Mamma Mia, nice combo. But I thought we agreed as a group no ABBA?"
"Oh, I'm going to switch the playlists before Abed plays it so it's actually karaoke Top 10 love songs of the 2000s."
"Vague."
"I would need more time to make a playlist. Also Abed vetoed Taylor Swift."
"You have time."
"The party's going to be this Saturday. Abed said you guys were going to find a notary this week sometime."
Oh. Troy didn't know that. But sooner is better than later, right? He does want to be married to Abed as soon as possible - after the celebrity imposters thing he's still generally terrified Abed's going to say something wrong to someone and end up in hospital. Troy's never going to tell Abed that's a really important reason for him doing this. Yeah their friendship is getting an upgrade but if Abed ends in hospital, Troy knows he'll lose his mind if he can't see him - not to mention that Abed would also lose his mind if he was alone with a doctor.
"Yeah, we are." Apparently.
"So can you guys find something to do on Saturday morning that's not in the apartment so that I can set up?"
"We know about it. It can't be a surprise party."
"I know but you're getting married and I want to help."
"Okay. Since we're having a party, do you think we can ask for stuff like how people register for wedding gifts?"
Annie's smile gets bigger and her eyes gleam. "Don't register for gifts. The group is already planning on getting you guys something."
"Cool, gifts."
"I'm really happy for you and Abed."
"This is like super friendship."
Annie laughs. "I suppose it is."
And then Abed comes over and they get in the car, waving bye to Annie who has to stay behind for a UN meeting.
-
He's waiting for their pizza to finish cooking when he realises that Britta didn't grab him after the announcement unlike like the others.
Troy [To Britta]: are you okay with all this?
Britta: U an Abed? Yeh of course
Troy should've tried to catch up to her earlier, he forgot how terrible Britta is at texting (and how much he hates calling people - so he isn't doing that).
Troy: you sure?
Troy: im not going to stop talking to you. You're also my best friend
Britta: so is AnniE
Troy: I have a lot of love to give
Britta: :)
Britta: I figuRed OUt how to Do tha
Troy: :D !!
Troy: want to hang out tomorrow after dance? There's a next ice cream place opening in mall, they have vegan stuff.
Britta: Only If U pay
Troy: of course
Troy: See you tomorrow !! :D :P
-
Abed scrolls through the internet results for Beneficiary Agreement until he gets to one that he thinks suits their needs.
They're done enough research now - they know what this entitles them to and what it doesn't. They also found out that Jeff was (kinda) right, it's not marriage but then Abed said for years some people have declared that theirselves married despite not having any forms so they can do what they want.
Troy's so glad he had Abed in his life.
They're currently waiting for the library's printer to be free - someone is printing a 20 page essay and Greendale has sucky technology.
Abed's talking about some Scottish sitcom - it's apparently hard to understand and he doesn't fully understand the humour so Troy has no idea why Abed's insisting he watch every episode.
It's when Abed's explaining the floating timeline that Troy zones out. It's just Abed's voice is relaxing and there's a high chance Abed's going to say everything again later to Annie.
It's just he's getting married to his best friend. He keeps repeating because it hasn't settled in yet.
Him and Abed even after their whole pillow/blanket war and having to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation about how to repair their friendship, are doing this.
Troy's chest is so fucking warm and he's pretty he's blushing. His smile is too big for a conversation about a sitcom and he hopes Abed thinks he's just really happy about Scottish tv.
He grabs Abed's hand and maybe it's getting obvious what he's happy about.
Abed tilts his head but continues talking, the differences being a small smile on his face and him stroking his thrums against Troy's hand.
Troy doesn't think he's ever been so content and happy - not even when him and Abed moved in together.
He sorta feels like he imagines the coming of age movie preteens feel when they're in their first relationship. Not that him and Abed are in a relationship - it's just he does love Abed and love makes people's brains funny sometimes.
In highschool he never felt like this, not with any of his girlfriends (or the guy he saw in secret his junior year) and instead of scaring him, he wants to smile wider.
He's experiencing something new and it's a nice feeling - not like the new bad feelings he got in his senior year.
At some point he hadn't thought he would feel unfiltered joy again - he had also thought the aching shoulders wouldn't go away - but then he got to Greendale.
It wasn't joy straight away - and realising who Annie was scared him to hell, also he was a massive dick to like everyone - but he eventually found it. Abed helped become the unfiltered version of himself that he hadn't remembered being since he was a kid and the joy that comes from knowing you can be yourself around someone and they won't judge, is awesome.
It's amazing how him and Abed are happy and content and find joy in everything they do together (The War withstanding) and Troy wants - needs - for that to continue.
He likes being this happy.
"I think Neil's done now."
"Let's print this thing." And there's a gleam in Abed's eye when he clicks print.
-
When he enters the apartment after hanging out with Britta it's to Abed sitting in his chair, staring at the tv. It's not an unusual occurrence but what is weird is that the tv isn't on. Abed's just staring at a blank screen.
Annie's shoes and bag aren't next to the door so he's assuming she's out.
He walks over to their living room.
Abed gets like sometimes - silent, zoning out - but Troy's usually nearby when it starts and as such can tell (what most likely caused it) but he wasn't here and he's not a mind reader.
He's the person that knows Abed best - he's the person that's got Abed to explain what he can do when things like this happen or how to adapt and make sure Abed is comfortable with certain actions. However he still doesn't know everything and as fun as telepathy seems - he doesn't have it.
So he taps the edge of Abed's arm and hopes it doesn't make anything worse.
Abed flinches but turns towards him so Troy suspects the flinch was more from shock. He moves his hand down to grab Abed's hand and grips tight.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Y or I?"
"I'm fine, Troy." And that's not even an answer so Troy grips his hand tighter.
Abed turns back to face the tv and Troy doesn't know what to do.
There's a piece of paper on the floor between their chairs. He reaches for it with his other hands - it's a stretch but he's not letting go.
It's the form.
Okay, Troy knows the problem now.
"Have you changed your mind? Because that's okay, Abed, I won't be mad."
"I haven't changed my mind." Then almost like it's an afterthought he adds "Have you?"
"No." And he starts stroking Abed's hand with his thumb. "What's wrong then, buddy?"
"We shouldn't do this."
"But we want to?"
"My parents are divorced, so are yours."
Troy didn't need to be reminded of his family - he's managed to ignore his father since he moved in with Abed and his mom has managed to ignore him since 'christmas'. His family is seriously dysfunctional and as emotionally taxing the study group can be sometimes,he is so so glad for them.
"So?"
"Our marriage won't end well."
"We aren't our parents Abed."
"We're worse." Abed says it like it's a fact - like he's read in a book and they are in fact worse their parents.
The thing Troy's realised that his parents are actually decent people - they're just kinda sucky parents. His dad is caring to his new girlfriend- even if it creeps Troy out - and his nana always mentions he was such a nice boy. Him and Troy just don't see eye to eye on what should and shouldn't make Troy happy. His mom is where he got his charming nature and humour from. She's always been able to make people around her laugh, it's just she never really wanted children. She helped with his football injuries though.
Abed on the other hand. Troy doesn't think Abed's realised that. Abed's mom is well, Troy doesn't really have anything nice to say about her but that mostly because he can't look past the fact she broke Abed's heart. Gobi, though, Troy likes. Gobi and Abed started to see eye to eye more and he started trying to understand Abed more and they have dinner every couple of weeks together. Abed doesn't dislike his parents like Troy does.
Troy remembers the years of screaming and yelling and broken plates and curling up in his bed pretending he was in outer space or on a boat somewhere in the middle of the sea. Even at their worst moments him and Abed don't yell and the most they're grown at each other were pillows.
The pillow fight.
"Is this about." Troy whispers "The War?"
Abed closes his eyes. That's a yes - or at least a sort of yes.
"Abed, that's not going to happen again. Remember we talked. We're happy. We fix and discuss our problems now. We help each other adapt. You still trust me, right?"
It takes a few seconds but Abed nods.
"Okay so you have to trust that I know we won't fail at this. We're Troy and Abed and we can do anything together. And under no circumstance are we going to repeat our parent's history."
"It will be worse." Abed looks at him and he also looks broken, his eyes are empty. "We're best friends and you're the best person in my life. We know everything about each other - in The War we knew how to hurt each other. We can do that again. And, and if this fails we break up the friend group- that's worse than leaving a damaged child. The study group is a family and we'll ruin it."
"First, you're the best person in my life as well. Second, did Jeff and Britta hooking up break the friend group up?"
"No but they aren't getting married."
"No they aren't. That's because they both have issues. Jeff has unresolved father issues and Britta despite having married parents hates how they acted. Britta's proof that even a happily married couple can cause damage. Can you also tell her that her taking art classes will do her good - I saw something online and if you say it she'll believe it as scientific?"
"Yeah, I will."
"Thanks. My point is that no matter how parents act in marriage it doesn't necessarily have a coronation in how their child's marriage goes."
"Correlation."
"Yeah, that. Abed we aren't going to be bad at this."
"You don't know that." Troy's keeping in his tears because someone has to be strong in this conversation but Abed's sad look is killing him.
"Neither do you. You're assuming based on the past. That's no way to guess how our relationship will go."
"It's going to be-"
"Abed. We are going to be okay. Our marriage will be long lasting and we'll win an award for it. We'll be the best at marriage because when we work together we're the best at anything."
"In our worst fight we did get classes cancelled for three days."
"Yeah and we've saved the universe countless times in the Dreamatorium."
"I suppose if we saved the universe, we can be good at marriage."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." And Abed stands up, tugging Troy's hand to stand up as well. He adapts his British accent. "Come on Constable we need to sustain ourselves with noodles of the buttered variety."
"Of course, Inspector, but I think we might have to go to the store. We ran out of them."
They're going to rock this marriage thing.
-
They should go to the Post Office since the internet says that's the easier place to find a notary but after an incident from last year Troy doesn't go there anymore.
(A woman hit on him, they tried to have sex later that night after an admittedly okay date and he was incredibly uncomfortable throughout all of it.)
So they google some more and realise libraries can have notaries.
"We could do it at Greendale then." Because that would be so cool - like Shirley's second wedding.
"The only librarian that even sorta likes is Mariah." Oh.
"Does the town have a library with an asshole free policy then?"
Abed tilts his head. "Probably not, I don't think most libraries do. Mariah really isn't that bad, she still helps me reserve books properly. The town does have a library though."
"Okay, lets go there then." Troy gets up off his chair and spins his bag over his shoulder. They have their shared Sci-if isn't just Star Trek class later, they'll have to be quick.
"Now?" Abed's eyes are wide and he's stopped rubbing his fingers along the edge of his zip-top.
"Why not?"
"I don't know." Troy wrinkles his forehead but Abed starts collecting his stuff up so it's probably not a big deal.
He grabs the form from where they stuck it on the fridge and puts it carefully into his bag.
"Ready?" Abed's dangling his keys from his fingers, waiting by the door. There's warmth spreading throughout him and Troy allows his grin to be wide as possible.
"Set. Go." And he runs out the apartment and down the stairs.
Despite having to lock the apartment, Abed still takes over him by the second floor landing. They're both laughing.
*
"We sign you to sign this." Troy slams - more a bit too heavily - the form on the librarian's desk.
"If you're a notary, can you sign this for us?" Abed corrects.
"Please?"
The woman looks shocked but the smile on her face seems somewhat amused.
She shakes her head lightly, but turns three form around to face her. "Okay. I can notarise this. I'll need to confirm you two know what a beneficiary agreement is first."
"We do." And Troy's smiles wider because they said it at the same time.
"And that no one is forcing we to do it."
"You say like our friends did when we told them about this. No one is forcing us."
"Troy, it's for legal purposes she has to ask. Jeff and Shirley were just being overly concerned and condescending." That makes more sense actually.
"Did they have a reason to be concerned?"
And Abed opens his mouth to answer - and the truth will come out, the truth being that their friends think they act like children and the truth will mean the woman won't sign it - so Troy quickly says (louder than he intended) "Nope. No reason."
The woman doesn't seem as convinced and she should be but there's still a smile so Troy's counting it as a win.
"Okay. Then I'll need one of one to sign as beneficiary A and one to sign the beneficiary B lines."
"You should be A."
"Because I'm Abed?"
"Of course. That's the only way it would make sense."
"But what about the fact B is kinda like second?"
Yeah Troy's confused, so confused. He thought Abed would've thought of himself being A will they printed it out. "What?"
"You got upset about the whole sidekick thing."
Oh. "I did yes. But I'm not anymore. This was my idea, remember, I said we should do this. You've trusted me - remember the whole you need to eat something other than noodles and now we have homemade pizza once a week and I got an 'A' on my engineering test without your help and I, I, I'm in dance show next week at the town hall and you didn't even know I was still taking dance. We're independent people Abed, just sign as 'A'."
"I knew."
"What?"
"I knew you were taking dance. You just didn't bring up. Annie's already bought tickets to the show, we were going to surprise you."
"Oh."
"Are you mad I didn't say anything?"
"No. The reason I didn't say anything was because I needed for us to be separate."
"Do you not want us to come to the show then?"
"No, we guys can come. Invite the whole study group, Britta's a flower this time."
He's secure in the fact that he and Abed aren't actually one entity and they can support each other without it being a thing they do together. They're getting married, that's what marriage is. (It's what best friends are but the marriage thing is making Troy feel more warm so he likes thinking that).
"Okay." Abed nods and smiles slightly. "I'll sign as 'A' then."
They sign the form.
Troy writes his name in the gap next to Abed's.
He looks over at Abed, who's twirling his pen in his hand, and just knows that if this was a real marriage certificate he would still be signing it.
He doesn't care that marriage is for relationships - actual romantic ones - because he thinks he wants that.
He knows he does.
He would for real marry Abed - with tuxes and rings and flowers and he will probably have to do more research of Muslim weddings.
Maybe one day (so many circumstances permitting).
"I'll need to see your IDs for proof, although this would be a very dramatic fake notarisation." The woman snaps him back to reality.
Then after confirming they are indeed Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir, the woman notarises it and hands the document back to them.
They're married.
And when they leave the library swinging their hands between them - the form in Troy's bag again - Troy realises he may be in love with his best friend (husband) and that might mean he's also screwed.
-
They're half to Greendale when Troy comes up with a plan. It's not much of a plan, it's pretty much just talk to Britta. But it's a plan.
"Hey, Abed?"
"Yeah."
"After class. I won't be able to walk home with you."
"Okay. Annie drove there so I'll have her take me home. Wait, why?"
"I'm going to hang with Britta."
"Weren't you with this morning?"
"Er, yeah but I need to talk to her."
"Okay. Have you picked a film for the final project yet?"
"No. I'm still deciding. You?"
"Either Robocop or Terminator. But there is also Aliens but after hallowe'en last year I'm not the biggest fan of the movie."
"Good choices."
*
Troy [to Britta]: meet me in the study room
Britta: I'm @ HoME
Troy: be there in 20 then
Troy: I'm coming to you btw don't leave your apartment
Britta: I WAs NoT
Troy: can you please learn to text?
Britta: NO!!!!
Britta: I Am a Free WoMAN o can do wht I want :) :)
*
Troy bursts through Britta's apartment - her door never seems to lock and he's very concerned about her sometimes.
"I think I'm in love with Abed."
His eyes are wide and he's breathing heavily because he may have ran to Britta's and it is so clear he's panicking.
Britta takes one look at him and goes at gets ice cream out of her freezer.
He sits on her couch and one of her one eyed cats jumps onto him. It nuzzles into him and he starts crying.
"Oh, honey, here."
He takes a very large spoonful of vanilla. Britta starts stroking his back.
"It's just I don't know if I'm in love with him. I love him, who couldn't be he's adorable and amazing and incredible."
"How do you feel around him?"
"Like, I feel warmth and I want to smile all the time and he's just my favourite person ever. I didn't think our friendship was going to survive The War but I did and it's stronger and he listened to me. Britta, he trusts me enough to listen to me now."
"Troy. I think you're in love."
"No I don't think-"
"Troy, you're in love." And Britta's turn with the spoon. She lets the cat lick it and yeah, Troy's not going to eat more.
"But I don't want sex with him."
Britta looks up from her hideous act and her hand on his back pauses. "What?"
"I can't be in love with him because I don't want sex with him. In all the movies and also real life people that are in love have sex, likes parents or lead characters. They do a love confession, make out and then have sex. I don't want that, so I just love him."
"Troy. I don't think that's how it works. Do you want sex ever?"
"No. I've tried and I've either panicked or threw up. Haven't you even felt sick while having sex? I thought it was pretty normal."
"I feel slightly ill after I had sex with Jeff but that's just because he is so so bad sex. Not once in the six months we sneaked around did he get better. That not the point though, you really don't want sex?"
"I really don't want sex" and this is the first conversation he's having about it but it's also the first conversation he's having about being maybe in love with Abed. He thinks, screw it, and takes the cat infected spoon and digs in for more ice cream.
"Have you heard of asexuality?"
"Plants, right?"
"No, well yes, but not just plants. I googled some other LGBT stuff and Asexual is a thing. It means you don't feel sex attraction or sexual desires - you don't want it. Do you think you fit that?"
He does. He never felt the need to have sex, only did so because his football friends wouldn't shut up about losing their virginity. He had sex to fit in - and again to test his attraction to guys (turns out just because someone's hot the sex might make you throw up).
"Yeah. But what does this have to do with Abed?"
"You said you couldn't be in love because you didn't want to fuck him."
"Yeah but-"
"Troy Asexual people can fall in love despite not wanting sex."
"Oh." He scratches the cats ears and leans into Britta. Her hand moves around his waist and he puts his head on her shoulder. "Do you think Abed would mind?"
Her hair tickles his face when she shakes it. "Nope, he loves you. He's in love with you. You two are destined to be together like soulmates."
"Ew."
"Ew?"
"I watched Dawson's Creek in highschool and it ruined the word soulmates for me. Abed would mostly likely be Dawson but Dawson's a dick and Abed isn't. I would most likely be Pacey and Pacey was forced in love with Joey and I don't want to be in love with someone that's not Abed."
"Okay. How about this then, you two make me believe in love despite the fact you guys aren't even in a relationship. I hadn't even had a relationship as strong as your friendship."
"Not all friends would get married."
"True. Did you know before all this?"
"Nope."
Britta laughs and it feels funny against his chest. "You guys are doing a Friends with benefits trope but there's no sex or romance involved."
That is funny. "We're doing a pining, hidden feelings trope. Maybe unrequited as well."
Britta turns so they face to face and she grabs his face in her hands. "Troy that boy is so fucking in love with you."
"He might not be when he finds out I'm Asexual." And oh, that's the first time he's said that and it's not the most important thing in the conversation. He still thinks a sort of weight (he didn't even know he had) lift off his chest.
Britta squeezes his cheeks together. "He's not going to mind," And she lets go, leans back and allows him to curl back into her. "And if on the off chance - very very small chance - he does I'll school him in LGBT knowledge and kick his ass, he's a skinny stick I'll be able to snap him."
"He's actually really strong. You would lose."
"No I wouldn't." The tone she says it in and the way her hand tightens around him. Troy knows Abed would be a dead man if he decided to cross Britta.
(He hopes Abed doesn't - that means he would be alive and in love with Troy).
-
Annie shoos them out of the apartment at 10am on Saturday and Abed suggests they just walk around town until she texts them to come back.
They wander through the park and when Troy spots an empty swing set, they race each other to it, Troy wins so that means Abed lets him win.
They get ice cream and watch the ducks.
It almost feels like a date what with the way Troy keeps catching Abed looking at him.
They discussed the merits of American sitcoms bs British sitcoms (because they're still Troy and Abed no matter how many normal activities they do).
Troy even thinks Abed's about to kiss him when they're sitting next to each other on a park bench but then Troy's phone beeps and Annie's requesting they come back now.
*
The apartment has been transformed (sort of). There's a 'just married' barrier over the entrance of the blanket fort and there's balloons everywhere. Cookies and brownies and two different types of cakes littered their dining table (clearly all from Shirley). And to top it off when Abed and him enter the apartment, it's too Britta singing karaoke and Jeff trying to grasp the mic off her.
Annie spots them first. "You guys, you were meant to knock."
"Why, we live here."
"Abed, she wanted it to be a surprise."
"But I helped organise it."
Troy shrugs because Annie's like Abed - they get an idea, they stick to it - and head to grab a brownie.
Britta takes advantage of their arrival to stand on a chair and continue singing. Jeff walks into the kitchen.
"Do you like it?" Annie asks.
"Yeah. It's so cool."
Shirley looks up from sorting the plates. "We were going to have more movie stuff but Annie vetoed Abed's ideas and we didn't know what else you guys liked."
Tory points to the DVD shelf. "Most of those are Abed's but we've seen the majority of them together. The good ones take up the middle selves."
Troy finished his bite. "It is really cool though. We don't just like movies. Just hanging out all together is great."
"Aw, Troy." And Annie bear hugs him.
"Why are you trying to kill Troy?"
"I'm not killing Troy." Annie's voice is muffled by his jumper.
Troy looks over to Jeff and mouths 'help me'. Just behind Jeff he sees Abed go into their fort but before he can worry Abed appears again, weird.
"Annie - and Britta, because please stop singing - stop trying to kill Troy. He did just get married."
Troy smiles "You're admitting it?"
He points over to Abed. "Your husband blackmailed me, remember."
His husband. His husband. Abed's his husband. Abed Nadir, his best friend, is his fucking husband.
"Stop grinning so much." Troy just laughs at Jeff. He's happy, he's not going to stop.
"Jeff, be nice." Jeff rolls his eyes at Shirley.
It's then Taylor Swift's Love Story comes on (and Troy will never admit he knew that for one second of the song).
Britta starts singing it, loud. Jeff glares at her. Abed glares at Annie. Annie moves to stand in front of the IPod.
Troy joins in with Britta because he likes the song and she's having fun singing it.
Abed pauses in his stride to turn it off. Troy knew he would.
He gets up on the chair next to Britta and they sing their hearts out.
Afterwards they take a bow to Shirley and Annie's applause and step off the chairs. Abed's eyes are wider than usual and he's smiling, directly at Troy.
Britta nudges his shoulder and mouths "Tell him." and gives him 'I'm so right' look.
He goes to stand next to Abed. He's not going to tell him but it's still their wedding and Abed's still his husband.
"I didn't know you liked Taylor Swift."
"That's because you hate listening to her music so I don't play it."
"Oh." Abed's eyes dart around. "I'll listen to it sometimes, if you sing it again."
"Deal." And they do their handshake. Abed takes a hold of his hand afterwards.
There's a camera flash. Annie's holding her phone up.
"To match the one from after The War."
A giggle escapes Troy and he rests his head against Abed's shoulder, leaning into his body. Unfiltered happiness is awesome and he's glad he feels it all the time with Abed.
(Later on when Shirley points out they haven't tried the cakes yet, Abed suggests the classic feeding one another cake. It's a ruse, they want to actually eat their favourite flavour, but Annie takes another photo and Britta coos so that's going to be a secret they're taking to their graves.)
-
The next week passes in what Troy thinks is one of most boring but bittersweet montages ever to be filmed (in his brain at least).
After the party him and Abed fell asleep together on the top bunk watching Bridesmaids, Troy's head on Abed's shoulder and Abed's arm around his waist.
In the morning, Troy looked at his wonderful best friend (and husband, now) and realised how fucking screwed he was.
There was no way he was going to be able to hide the fact that Abed made his heart race and chest feel warm. He was already struggling to not kiss the top of his hair.
He had untangled himself and climbed out of the bunk.
He smiled at Annie when she had handed him pancakes.
Then there were classes and planning his presentation (he had settled on Predator (1987), studying, watching tv and staring a fucking lot at Abed.
Troy had also realised that if Abed shared his feelings then it wasn't all his feelings. Their agreement came out of a discussion of friends with benefits, Abed has allowed the group to imply they might have sex together.
So his heart got broken twice (and several other times whenever he thought about it) throughout the week. His feelings weren't returned and he wouldn't be returned properly even if there were.
It's a strange feeling, knowing even if you could get something that would make you happy, one or both people involved would be uncomfortable and sad.
Then on Friday morning, Annie enters the apartment carrying their mail with her 'Life is so great and I'm so happy right now' smile on.
She hands both him and Abed a letter. They're from the Greendale County Office.
It's the letter stating their designated beneficiary agreement has been authorised.
"Oh."
Annie continues on like this is a big deal. "Yeah I thought I would take longer for it to go through. We could've had the party tomorrow if I knew it would only take a week."
The letter isn't special. It just informs him he is a designated beneficiary of Abed Nadir. They'll have to put in the folder of files - that Annie insisted they get after she realised their copy of the lease was kept in the tv stand - that also holds their copy of the original document.
It's not special yet Troy's heart is beating.
"Annie, do you think the letters are important or that the document would be enough proof?" Abed asks, he is still looking at his own letter.
"I don't think you should throw them away but I don't suppose they need to be filed."
"Great." And with that Abed grabs Troy's letter out of his hand and heads into the blanket fort.
Annie looks at the spot where just was. "Do you know what that was about?"
"Nope." Troy goes to one of the cookies left over from Shirley's mass baking.
"I have to head to Greendale, now. So make sure he doesn't damage the apartment, I swear he had that 'I have an idea and no one can stop me from finishing it' look on."
"Sure. Wait, you are going to school this earlier - it is Friday right?"
"Yeah, and usually I'll go with you guys in the afternoon but Britta convinced me to take some morning art class with her - apparently it relieves stress and helps you express your emotions."
Troy grins, they'll both love it. "Have fun."
Annie rolls her eyes. "Sure."
As the door clicks closed, Abed emerges from the fort.
"Did Annie leave? I wanted her to see this as well."
"See what?"
And in response Abed holds up two picture frames - his framed their letters.
Troy feels tears building up in his eyes.
"Where do you think they should go? I'm thinking between the photo from the Kentucky space adventure and the one from when we entered that pie contest."
"Sure. Wherever is fine." And he grabs the command strips from where they keep them under the sink.
They stick them up and ones may be a little crooked but Annie will fix it later if it's too bad.
"We really did this."
"Regret it?"
"No. Do you still think we'll still be like our parents?"
"Yes. But there's still time to prove myself wrong, after all you're still here."
"I'm going to be here forever." And he goes in to hug Abed - stops just before wrapping his arms around him waiting for Abed to nod - and hugs him tight.
"Troy." He squeezes harder. Abed needs to feel how important he is to Abed.
"Troy."
"Troy. I can't breathe." Oh. Troy lessens his grip but doesn't fully let go.
"Sorry."
"It's okay." Abed flickers his eyes over to their framed letters and back to Troy. Troy can't stop smiling. He doesn't care about anything except how much Abed means to him - and he doesn't care if Abed's not in love with him because he knows Abed loves him and that all that's important.
"Troy."
"Yeah?" Troy moves his hands under Abed's flannel so he holds Abed's waist and feels more warmth.
Abed takes an intake of breath.
"Abed?"
"I love you."
Troy grins and moves closer in, he needs to be as close as possible to Abed right now. "I know. I love you too."
"No. I'm in love with you." Oh.
Troy grins wider and moves in closer, their noses touch. And he says against Abed's lips "I'm in love with you too." And he kisses Abed.
He puts as much passion into the kiss as he did his hug. There's this amazing warm feeling spreading throughout him and Troy is so in love. Troy's so in mutual love.
They have to break apart because they're smiling too much.
"You're really in love with me?"
"Of course I am, Abed. How couldn't I be? You're amazing and my favourite person.
"You're my favourite person too." And with that Abed leans back in.
Troy didn't know that their kissing could be more passionate but Abed's proving him wrong. This time it's harder and more insistent.
Abed runs his tongue over his lips and Troy's pretty sure it won't be the end of the world if he opens his mouth so he does.
It's okay. It's fine. Abed steps closer putting his leg in between Troy's. It's fine.
Troy moves one of his hands to Abed's hair. Abed moans. That's not okay.
Troy steps back fully. His heart sinks.
"Troy? Was that too much? We can go slower if you want."
"What would you say if I said I didn't want to go slower, or , or faster?"
"I would be confused."
"Abed. I don't want," Troy takes a breath, he said it out loud to Britta he can say to Abed. "I don't want sex. I'm Asexual."
Abed tilts his head slightly.
"I don't want sex with anyone. I don't desire or need or want it."
"But we just kissed." Abed doesn't seem sure of what he's saying.
"Yeah. I like kissing."
"But not sex?"
"I don't like sex."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"You don't like sex. You're Asexual. We won't have sex then."
"Really? You're okay with that?" Even if Britta said that it was okay and that Abed wouldn't judge him. He didn't actually think Abed would be okay with it - he's glad it took him a minute to catch and he got to experience their first proper kiss with no panic.
"Yeah. I'll research more and we can set boundaries. I'm okay with it Troy. As long as you love me I would be okay with anything." Abed grabs his hands and squeezes them.
Troy giggles and there's definitely tears on his cheeks but he's so so fucking happy he doesn't care.
"You know if I could,be actually married to you I would be."
"We are married. We said we were."
"Yeah we're married but I meant like Shirley's married or our parents married, like with rings and shit."
Abed lets go of his hands and runs into the blanket fort. This time he catches the 'I have an idea and no one can stop me' look.
"Abed?"
"One second." And Troy hears a clatter. "Got them."
Abed stands in front of him and gets down on one knee.
Troy is 100% his chest is going to burst wide open.
Abed takes a red ring pop out from behind his back.
"Troy Barnes, will you marry marry me - when this state finally makes it legal?"
"Where did you get that from?"
"Jeff gave them to me at the party. He said if we insisted on calling it marriage we needed rings."
"Rings?"
Abed puts his other hand out in front of him, revealing a blue ring pop. Troy takes it out of his hand and gets down on one knee as well. They're Troy and Abed; they need a little homage in their proposal.
"Abed Nadir, will you marry marry me?"
"I asked first."
"So?"
"So? I asked you first."
"We're both kneeing right now."
Abed's forehead crinkles and he's confused and annoyed and Troy loves him. "Yeah?"
"What famous tv proposal has both of them kneeing?"
Abed has to think about it - mostly likely to due to slew of rom com weddings Annie's made them watch in the past two weeks. "Friends. Monica and Chandler."
"Yep and Monica said it first but Chandler give her the ring."
"They also had candles."
"Annie banned candles in the apartment after the wax incident. So Abed Nadir, you are my best friend and I promise to never leave you or purposely make you upset and under no circumstances will I ever throw a pillow or a plate at you. Will you marry me?"
"Troy Barnes, of course I will." And Troy slips the ring pop onto his finger - he's pretty sure he got which one the ring finger confused but Abed doesn't seem to care or notice.
He puts the red one on Troy's finger and the tap the candy gems together.
"Troy and Abed are married married." And Troy laughs because they both said the second married.
He leans to kiss Abed and it's not as long as their other kisses because Troy starts crying.
Abed leans back and his grin is unfiltered and wide and Troy knows Abed's as in love with him as he is with Abed.
Troy licks his ring pop and then looks at Abed's one. He meets Abed's eyes and asks "Wanna make purple?"
Abed kisses him, with smiles and giggles and tears.
(It's a pretty cinematic scene, them with their correlating ring pops kneeling on the floor in front of their framed letters. It's cinematic but still so uniquely them.)