Chapter Text
Apologizing was not something Tommy did, and even when he did it was rare. Load, brash and unforgiving were words that would describe Old Tommy, someone was going to have to rewrite that because Now Tommy was the opposite of all that; ‘I guess that’s what dying and being forcefully resurrected does to people’ he internally thought. Now Tommy was quiet, meek, and very forgiving if anything he will give Dream credit for that. Lying in the hot pool of his own blood, barely registering blow after blow that was pounded onto him, his only thoughts where Finally and I hope they forgive me. He honestly did not know who were the They but coming back he realized how many people he had hurt, intentionally or not. Maybe if he had made himself less himself half of the shit that happened would have been avoided.
But come on he was a kid as much as he said he wasn’t he was, plus plenty of people had done worse than what he had done to Georges house. A voice hissed back, which Tommy ignored, no matted how much he wanted to agree with it.
He turned towards Snowchester, coming from his, or should he say Jacks, hotel. He had gone to tell Jack he wasn’t going to fight for it that he could have it, Tommy was hoping that they would be able to reconcile, to be forgiven. To say he was disappointed with the outcome was an understatement, Jack just laughed at him saying he didn’t need Tommy’s permission to own a hotel that was already his.
With a sigh he made his way the outskirts of Snowchester, he hears laughter. Slowing down before breaking the safety of the tree line, he looked wide eye at the sight before him. There on the sandy shores of the beach was Tubbo running with a flower crown on, on his left Ranboo holding a little zombie pigglin boy wearing a similar flower crown. Not a rare sight ever since both Michael and Ranboo came into his life Tubbos been smiles and flower crowns, a bitter part of Tommy was angry that his best friend could smile, be happy, so easily. While Tommy still found it hard to get out bed most days.
Normally he’d swallow whatever this feeling was put the Old Tommy mask on and break through the trees, shout some profanity, which would have Tubbo rolling his eyes with a annoyed huff and Ranboo swiftly picking up Michael taking him inside only to come back without him. Which was worse the annoyed Tubbo or the fact the neither wanted their kid near him was a tossup. However this time was different because of two very familiar reasons. The first was a Phil shaped reason who was smiling and wearing a yellow flower crown, the other was a Techno shaped one. Who little Michael ran up to with a pink flower crown, to which the older lowered himself letting a little huff out with a small smile.
Looking at their body language to see if there was some sort of animosity between any of them. There wasn’t only a relaxed and kind aura around them. Watching each one of them closely wondering why was Tubbo letting the man that took one of his lives near his child that not even Tommy was allowed near. It wasn’t till he was watching Ranboo bend to help Michael with putting the crown on Techno that he noticed it, a small green, emerald earring hanging from his ear. Expertly made with gold and polished to shine beautifully, and Tommy felt the world crashing around him.
Tommy knew those earrings because he once wore similar ones, he knew the meaning behind the seemingly ordinary earrings. Phil, Techno, and Wilbur all had similar ones always worn, never taken off, a physical tie to one another. When Tommy was younger, he’d beg his family for a pair wanting to have that physical tie, to show others he was apart of the family as well. He was always meet with a chuckle from Phil saying he’d have to wait till he turned 15 like both his older sibling. Sadly the day he turned 15 both Phil and Techno weren’t there, Wilbur not knowing how to make them had gave him one of his instead two weeks later both left there childhood house never looking back.
Even when both Phil and Techno came to the SMP nether made any comment on it. Tommy never brought it up, with wars where being waged and brothers going mad, he more important thing to be talking about.
Now Tommy was watching them, a cute family, no mad siblings or annoying load ones. What a pretty picture, Tommy felt sick, something happened here among the shadows of the forest. The last straw that was keeping him sane, Tommy could feel the snap, whatever was that was holding him together, whatever remnants of Old Tommy were gone. Something bled into his veins, anger he thought would grip him just slipped off, he felt nothing. And for the first time a chapter in his life close without explosions or blood, he was replaced by a better person, left forgotten, unwanted. Guess Dream didn’t need to beat it into him, he just had to see this and accept it. Tommy didn’t have it in himself to argue with that part of him self it was right. With that last thought Tommy turned left the happy family, he was done. So much for asking for forgiveness, he did not need to hear them reject it.
The walk home was slow, but as soon as Tommy was home quickly started to organize his inventory and chest. Putting as much food into as possible, grabbing only tools that could not be easily replaced. With that he burned everything else and filled in his little dirt home. Looking back at his home one more time Tommy set off to the nether hub, slowly taking in everything one last look at what he use to call home. Soon the hum of the portal was heard and quickly seen, for the first time Tommy hesitated it’d been a while since he’s been to the nether. It only brought bad memories Tommy had made it a mission to avoid going in or near that place. Now he felt nothing stepping into it, no fear, or even courage of overcoming something that gave him nightmares. Nothing at all.
Tommy did brace himself for the heat that came. Stumbling out of the portal Tommy looked around, he really didn’t know what he was doing only that his body was on auto pilot and wanted to get as far as he could from everything. It felt like watching a movie, someone else controlling his limbs, traversing the land scape without any care of what could happen if he slipped or stubbled. Not that he himself cared, if he where to die now, it wouldn’t make any difference to anyone, they’d simply carry on or even celebrate.
His body chose a direction and just went with it, Tommy gave the reins to whatever it was that was moving his body. When a wall came up Tommy’s pick went through it until he was on the other side, putting the nether rack back behind him as he went. Not that anyone would try to follow him, more out of habit. Running from Dream really taught him to cover his tracks, he did the same when he need to bridge breaking it as he went. Tommy didn’t know how long he walked just that at some point his iron boots broke leaving his feet bare to the elements. Even then his mind felt it wasn’t far enough, so he kept moving.
Spending who knows how many day’s walking through the nether Tommy’s body stopped as his bare feet hit soft, mushy, blue grass. His feet were blistered from walking bare foot, he lost his chest plate to a fireball from a ghast and had no food. The blue forest- warped forest a voice says. Quickly Tommy pulls out his sword and looks for the owner of the voice, it was the first time his felt fully in control of his body.
Aww shookinnit
There’s hogs in this place, can get food here.
Whooooo
Brokeninnit
Guys!!! Your gonna frighten him.
Tommy spun in circles looking for the source of these voices only to find himself completely alone. He felt on edge, an enemy he can’t see is an enemy he can’t fight.
Idiot! Were here to help
Not enemy’s
“Who are you then?” Tommy asked slowly lowering his sword. Eyes still searching for any sign of danger.
Mmmmm we ar-
Shhhh don’t tell
Yeah
Just call us….
CHAT!!
Tommy didn’t know how to respond, Chat? Well, if that’s what they wanted to be called who was he to tell them no. The only thing he remembers about voices in peoples head where the ones in Technoblade and Phil, was that what they were?
Yes!!
But different
We think?
“So, what now?” Tommy asked out load, not really knowing what to do. A variety of different answers shouted at him; Tommy could feel a headache forming behind his eyes already. “Okay, listen up if you’re going to be living in my head quiet down, also we still don’t know if this is far enough.” Tommy spoke to the air, he probably looks crazy to the outside. Looking around Tommy to in the sight before, really looking this time, now that he was not on auto pilot. Blue grass-moss with tall blue trees, red vines growing up, and the sounds of hogs in the distance. How far had he gone, he didn’t remember anyone saying anything about a blue-warped forest- a voice supplied him. Checking his compass to see the coordinates he was currently at, and wow he was far. He had thought that maybe a few days away from the hub, but more then a week of just walking through the nether. Explained why he was starving all the food he had brought with him was only supposed to last a few days at most, so with that last thought Tommy scavenged around.
First headed towards the hoglin noise, spotting a small group of them he made quick work, few moments in the furnaces and Tommy was eating them. Sleepiness and exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks, slowly tucking himself into a trunk of a tree he falls into a dreamless sleep.
Waking up was not exactly great, opening his eyes he quickly began to panic not knowing where he was, and Dreams going to be angry with him he-
Breath!!
Nether your in the nether!!
Wake up!!
In out in out
Taking the advice Tommy sucked in and out, eyes adjusting to the light and his heartbeat slowed. He was in the Nether, he had left, and he was not with Dream. Untucking from the tree Tommy stood and stretched, with a quiet mumble he thanked Chat. Taking the food he had left cooking last night and put up the furnace, Tommy still didn’t feel far enough. Like at any moment someone was going to round the corner, pop up drag him back so he could watch everyone play family without him. Wear matching earrings so everyone knows there happy and great without him. Ender those were not the thoughts he wanted first thing in the morning.
“Alright Chat were to now?”
North
South
East
West
Dumbass we just came from the West.
“Okay North doesn’t sound to bad, maybe stop to find a Piglin traders get some obsidian to get to the overworld.”
No
Yes to the everything but overworld
Yeah nothing good has happen to us in the overworld
“As to all the good that has happened to us in the nether?” Tommy huffed out
We didn’t lose lives here
Yeas Wilbur didn’t die in here
Dream wouldn’t think to look for you here t-
“Okay shut up, I get it and don’t talk about Wilbur.” Tommy all but snarled to the voices. He didn’t like even thinking about Wilbur in his own head much less outside of it. After watching Phil kill his brother and having said brother blow everything up, it was easier to not think about it; with rebuilding and then Techno’s and Phil’s betrayal Tommy never really was allowed to grieve his brother. Even now Tommy shoved anything that was Wilbur related down. Wanting to just move on from this line of thought Tommy with a few pops of his shoulders and a groan set of North.