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Judd wakes up to a pounding headache and no Grace at his side.
To say that he panics is an understatement; the last thing he remembers, they were driving down the highway on their way to see his dad, and now he’s alone, apparently in a hospital, with machines going off all around him. He tries to struggle upright, only to be met with resistance in the form of hands on his shoulders. Judd wants to fight them, but too quickly his body gives out as he heaves for air.
The darkness on the edges of his vision comes for him once more, and Judd slips back into sleep, the only thought on his mind, Grace.
It’s calmer the next time he opens his eyes, but there’s still no Grace. Instead, when Judd manages to get his vision to focus, there’s just Owen and Tommy camped out in his room, both looking incredibly weary. That’s no surprise at least - last he heard, Tommy was supposed to be recovering from being kidnapped, and TK was in a hospital bed of his own, so seeing the Cap here instead of with his son is unexpected.
Judd clears his throat as best he can, suppressing a wince at the action, and both their heads snap up, relief flooding their faces at the sight of him awake. After a quick greeting, Owen heads out to fetch a doctor, but Tommy lingers, something heavy in her expression.
“Hey, Juddy,” she says softly, smiling at him sadly. “How’re you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a truck,” Judd croaks out, which, for some reason, makes Tommy laugh.
“You’re not far off there.”
Judd frowns, more questions crowding his mind, but then Owen’s back with doctors and there’s no more time. He’s wheeled off for scans and exams, and though he asks a million times, no-one will tell him where Grace is.
Judd Ryder is not a patient man at the best of times, and being in the hospital with no idea why and no clue as to his wife’s whereabouts is far from the best of times. He barely refrains from snapping at the nurses, irritated by their platitudes and well-meaning smiles. By the time he’s finally taken back to his room, under strict instructions to take it easy, Judd’s on the verge of losing it, a fact that does not go missed by Tommy when she walks back in.
“Judd -”
“Where’s Grace?” he interrupts. “Where’s my wife?”
“There was an accident,” Owen says, coming round to the foot of the bed. “You and Grace were run off a bridge into the water; you were both brought in a few hours ago.”
Judd waits, but Owen doesn’t say anything else, and he feels the last tendrils of his patience ebb away.
“I appreciate the rundown, Cap,” he grits out, “but that does not answer what I asked you. Now, I’mma ask you again, and you’d better give it to me straight this time. Where is my wife?”
Owen hesitates, sharing a pained look with Tommy. She steps forward and takes his hand, Judd only just managing not to snatch it away.
“The first thing you need to know is that she’s alive,” she says, tone carefully steady, like he’s one of her patients.
“Then where is she, dammit?”
“Judd…” Tommy sighs, sudden tears in her eyes, and Judd almost feels guilty for snapping at her. “She hasn’t woken up yet. She was in a really bad shape when they brought you two in, and they… Judd, they don’t know if she will wake up.”
And, just like that, Judd’s entire world crumbles.
He’ll never forget the first time he laid eyes on Grace Williams.
They were in a bar packed to the brim with people, but, from the moment he saw her, it was like she was the only person that existed. Tommy had laughed herself silly when she noticed - and has made many jokes in the years since - before revealing that she knew the lady in question, and, if he wanted, could probably swing an introduction.
Judd’s mouth had gone completely dry at the news, but he’d managed a nod, taking a few moments to prepare himself while Tommy threaded her way through the crowd. She got back quicker than he’d been expecting, but one look at the woman next to her had a grin instantly emerging on Judd’s face. He’d stared at her for a long time, her own smile beginning to fade, before Tommy had none too gently elbowed him, clearing her throat.
“Oh! Right, right,” he’d stammered, blushing darkly (though, years later, he’d deny any and all awkwardness). He held a hand out. “I’m Judd.”
Grace took his hand, Judd lifting it to his lips and kissing her knuckles. He’d earned an eye roll from Tommy for that, but Grace had just smiled wider, which was all that mattered.
“I’m Grace.”
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Grace had been so alive that night, her face lit up with joy as they'd danced and laughed and talked. She couldn’t look more different now, unnaturally still on the hospital bed with too many machines doing the work her body can’t. Judd’s legs tremble as he clutches onto the railings of her bed, silent tears slipping down his cheeks. He wants, desperately, to touch her, but he keeps his hands resolutely to himself - Grace is so fragile right now, and Judd… Well, Judd is known for breaking fragile things. China, in their house, is only to be handled by Grace, a lesson learned after too many accidental breakages.
And now, there’s no doubt about it; this is all Judd’s fault. He’d been the one driving, he’d been the one not paying enough attention, he’s the reason Grace can’t even breathe on her own anymore. She could still die, and there’ll be no-one to blame but himself.
Judd knows - if Grace dies, there’ll be no coming back from that. Not for him.
He doesn’t know how long he stands there before his legs grow too weak to hold him upright any longer. Owen and Tommy catch him before he falls, gently guiding him out of Grace’s room and into a chair, despite his feeble protests to the contrary. As much as it hurts to see Grace like that, being away from her right now is pure hell, and Judd wishes he had the strength to fight his way back to her side.
More than that, he wishes it could be him in her place. Judd has already escaped death once; what gives him the right to do it again, especially when Grace might not get that second chance?
“She’ll get through this, Judd,” Tommy says, crouching down in front of him. “I know she will.”
Judd shakes his head, his voice coming out hollow when he speaks. “You shouldn’t make promises you know you can’t keep.”
Tommy sucks in a sharp breath, straightening and backing up a step. Judd can’t feel guilty for using her own words against her - though that’s not saying much, as he can’t really feel anything right now.
“You just have to have faith,” she tries. “God -”
“Don’t.” Judd looks up at her, clenching his jaw. “Just… I don’t wanna hear it, alright? The only thing I care about right now is Grace, not whatever God might say or do or think. Fat lot of use He is anyway; how can someone so almighty let something like this happen to Grace, huh? And don’t you dare try and tell me He works in mysterious ways, because I ain’t having it.”
“I wasn’t going to,” Tommy says mildly, apparently unfazed by his outburst. “Hell, maybe you’re right, I don’t know. But what I do know is that you have a whole team waiting and willing to support you, no matter what happens. We’ve got each other’s backs.” She looks past him, a broad smile appearing on her face. “As long as you’re willing to accept it.”
Judd follows her gaze, a choked sob forcing its way out of his throat as he spots the entire 126 - plus Charles and even Carlos - mingling in the waiting room. They make their way over to him once they notice him staring and Judd rises on shaky legs to greet them, despite Tommy protesting for him to stay off his feet.
Mateo instantly, albeit carefully, launches himself into his chest, the others following suit at a much slower pace. Carlos lingers behind for a moment before Judd nods at him, and he adds his arms to the embrace, slotting in between TK and Marjan.
“We’ve got you, man,” Paul says into his shoulder. “No matter what.”
The others murmur their agreement, and Judd closes his eyes, resting his head on top of Marjan’s. Tears fall hot and fast from his eyes, but none of them complain, instead just holding on tighter.
It doesn’t make Grace wake up, and it doesn’t take the pain away, but it makes it feel a little lighter.