Work Text:
bobby wasn’t expecting his three best friends to die unexpectedly, he definitely wasn’t expecting to feel immense grief at the age of 17, but out of everything, nobody told him how vacant and empty his life would be.
the doctors, the well meaning family, the neighbors, they tell him it’s okay to miss them, but they don’t realize how much.
there used to be people living in his garage, filling it with laughter, and music, and love.
bobby can’t go in there any more.
he knows, that if he saw the guitars, and bass, and drum kit in there, bobby wouldn’t be able to handle it.
what he would do, he’s not sure.
rose has been kind, she reaches out to him frequently, calls him to check in.
bobby isn’t sure why. it’s not like he deserves a friend, considering the fate of his last three.
today, rose drops by his house, to hug him, ask how he’s really doing.
because it’s been a month. he’s spent a whole month alone.
that part goes unspoken, but both rose and bobby know that’s why.
she offers to drive him somewhere, he asks why, he’s always asking her why, and is sure she’s tired of giving the same answer.
after a while, he accepts.
they drive out to a diner, bobby isn’t really sure where he is, but it’s noisy, the good kind of noisy, caused by food and connection, so he sits down in a booth across from rose.
he lets her talk, listens to her talk about how school is going, how she thinks ray is going to ask her to move in with him soon. the noise is good, it gives bobby a distraction.
it makes bobby think that they could’ve been friends without the tragedy of last month.
some day, bobby hopes he can be as supportive to rose as she’s been to him. he’s thankful for her, and says so out loud.
she gives him a wide smile, and they finish their lunch. rose takes him on a long drive afterwards, rolls her car windows down, lets her hair fly with the wind.
they drive above the beach, bobby swallows down a thought about reggie. instead, he looks at the water, bright, crashing into the sand.
he sees a head of short blond hair when they drive back into the city, it makes him do a double take. the action has bobby cringing at himself, of course it’s not alex, why would he think that?
when they pass a music store with guitars on display, bobby makes a mental note to remind luke. another place to take a day trip to, so luke can stare at the instruments like a child in a candy store.
but he can’t.
rose picks up on his emotions, bobby supposes it’s because of his expression.
luke always said he looked grumpy all the time.
rose offers to take him to a park, and he accepts. they drive to a vast green space, rose takes a blanket out of the trunk, and spreads it out on the grass.
she sits down on said blanket, and pats for him to sit next to her. bobby does as rose suggests, and sits down.
rose takes out a book, says something about reading out loud, and begins. bobby completely lays down on the blanket, and stares at the sky.
her calm words make bobby’s eyes feel heavy, and soon he’s resting on a blanket in the park.
he wakes up to rain, rose has started to pack up the things she took out of her car, folding up the blanket and putting the book between it.
bobby asks if they can drive past the orpheum, and rose can barely hide her look of surprise. she asks again, making sure bobby thought this through, but he insists.
the car ride is silent, rose keeps glancing at bobby, like he’s going to ask her to turn around.
bobby understands why, but he knows he needs to do it now, worried that at any other moment, he might take it back.
the rainfall is constant, but soft. just enough for bobby to feel it, and light enough for bobby to stand outside.
rose slows the car down at the front of the orpheum, and bobby opens the door to walk to the alley. she asks if he wants her to go with, but he refuses.
there are flowers where the couch used to be, a candle, extinguished from the rain.
that small gesture almost brings bobby to tears right away, before he had even started speaking.
“um, hey guys, it’s been a while,” bobby said, “a whole month without you guys. i’m sorry i haven’t visited you yet.”
“i don’t know where you’re all buried, i don’t know if you’re separate, i don’t know what your parents decided to do with what was left of you, so i thought this was the next best place.”
“i’m really sorry i wasn’t there for you, rose keeps telling me there’s nothing i can do about it, but i really am sorry.”
“i don’t know what else to say, except i miss you guys, and i hope you’re all together, wherever you are.”
he stands in front of the small memorial for a few minutes longer, bobby wishes, as if he’s in one of the bad movies reggie used to like, that him and alex used to make fun of.
false hope has him standing in that spot, like it will give him just another minute with them.
it doesn’t.
bobby walks back to the car, and rose asks him how’s he’s doing.
he gives a monotonous answer, but that’s good enough for her, and she starts driving him home.
rose walks him to the door, gives him a hug that has him missing luke’s physical contact more than he ever thought he would, and he walks back into his house.
bobby’s life still feels vacant. he’s not sure if it’ll ever feel full again. but rose is kind, she believes he’ll be able to live again, without being completely consumed by grief, and for the first time, he believes her.