Chapter Text
People talk about having a clean slate as if it’s an easy thing. As if you can just wipe away all of the impurities that taint your past, and start over.
Start over.
Tommy knew the only way to do that. If there was another path, one that wouldn’t hurt the people he still cared for, he’d have taken it. But quite frankly, Tommy’s empathy for them had faded significantly; none of his friends had visited him as he wasted away in exile, despite promising to. He spent days and days staring out over the ocean, imagining he could see his home on the other side, and waiting for someone, anyone, to lift the blanket of boredom and loneliness from his shoulders. But no one came.
So, here he was, standing at the very end of the path he had chosen, and gazing deep into the chasm. He tried to seem scared of the lava that awaited him and hoped it didn’t appear forced. They had to believe.
He’d be fine in the fire, not so much as a friction burn. Not the Dream knew that. No one knew that. Tommy hadn’t said.
Not even Phil, when he adopted Tommy as a baby, had known what he was.
“Tommy?” Dream’s voice cut through his thoughts like an axe. “Don’t get too close to the edge okay? We should head back to Logstedshire.”
It’s now or never.
He pulled his shoulders back, breathing in the thick sulphuric air as he did so. Despite the heat, his eyes were cold as they met with Dream’s. Well, the eyes on the mask.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Dream.”
“Oh? Don’t make this hard for me Tommy. I’m already taking time out of my busy day to look after you.”
Wait- no, no. Tommy knew what Dream was doing. And yet his brain screamed that he was right. That Tommy was being selfish.
But you know what? He’s earned the right to be selfish. No one was going to save him, he knew that. No matter how much he still prayed. He would have to save himself.
“No Dream. You can go to Logstedshire or wherever it is you live, but I’m not going back there.”
“Don’t be stupid. Tommy.” Dream taunted, simultaneously patronising and menacing.
Come on. Tommy had to get this right. They had to all believe.
“Do me a favour Dream,”
With a sigh, he let the hopelessness that had been weighing him down come to the surface. It seeped through him, causing his voice to crack and his arms to shake.
“Tell the others. And don’t let this happen again.”
“What-"
Tommy didn’t give him a chance to finish. He closed his eyes and let himself fall gently backwards, over the edge of the cliff. For a moment it felt like flying, as the glow of the lava neared him, and the wind whistled in his ears. Like he was coming home.
Far above him, Dream screamed his name. Fire res potions rained down, the entirety of Dream’s exhaustive supply. It almost made him laugh, how desperate Dream was to help him now, after everything. Not that Tommy needed fire res; he was a magma hybrid.
That was what he hadn’t told.
This was where it came in handy.
He just needed people to think that he was dead. Then he could start again, with no one looking for him or trying to control him. No brothers’ shadows to stand in, nor best friends who exiled and then ignored him, nor people so twisted he couldn’t tell friend from foe. No Dream .
Exile on his own terms. Chosen solitude.
As soon as he hit the surface of the lava, he swam as far down and away as possible. As expected, he took no damage. Once he was sure that Dream thought he wasn’t coming back up, he resurfaced and took a gulp of air that tasted like freedom.
He would have to build himself a place to live. Here. In the nether. Where no one else could survive for very long.
Empty inventory. Deep breaths. A flicker of hope. A new start.