Work Text:
Phil: Dan! *whiny* Daaaaan!
Dan: *thundering down the stairs* What the FUCK are you screaming for? You’re not dying, are you??
Phil: Maybe I am.
Dan: You’re not.
Phil: *hesitant* No…
Dan: So what’s all the screaming for then, bub? *eyeroll*
Phil: I want my box of chocolates!
Dan: Phil, it’s literally *huff* over there.
Phil: Tooo far awayyy!
Dan: You literally put it on the mantelpiece, go get it yourself!
Phil: But now that you’re here, my knight in shiny *giggle* shiny armour, you could get it for me.
Dan: And why would I do that?
Phil: … because you love me?
Dan: *glaring* No.
Phil: Yeah.
Dan: … *more glaring*
Phil: *chuckle* Yeah?
Dan: *snort*
Phil: Yeah??
Dan: … mph.
Phil: *enthusiastic* Yeah!
Dan: Oh FUCK OFF! *shrieking*
Phil: Ha! *laughing* I’m always right and you know it, Danny.
Dan: Absolutely not, liar.
Phil: I would—
Dan: Always.
Phil: *grinning* —never lie.
Dan: Liar. That’s a lie, too.
⸻
Dan: So, er, like, kids…?
Phil: Hm? *pause* Kids?
Dan: Oh, no *sigh* it was nothing.
Phil: Dan…
Dan: I just— okay *frustrated* fine, it wasn’t nothing, I was just thinking.
Phil: About kids?
Dan: Yes. Maybe. Yes.
Phil: That’s not nothing, is it?
Dan: Whatever you say.
Phil: No, I mean—
Dan: *sigh*
Phil: Dan. Behave. Right. *exhale* As I was going to say, it’s not nothing, is it, if you’re thinking about kids. Kids aren’t nothing.
Dan: Yeah? What if it was… *trails off* Nevermind. Ignore me.
Phil: *fond* What? I’d love to hear what you’re going to say.
Dan: Sure you would.
Phil: I always do. *leans head on Dan’s shoulder* Always.
Dan: Fine… *hesitant* …you and me and kids?
Phil: *even more fond* Me? You? Kids?
Dan: Mhm. *softly* You, me, kids, this house.
Phil: I love that idea.
Dan: The idea? Just the idea?
Phil: No, silly, I love the way your brain works. I would also love to have kids with you.
Dan: Good.
Phil: Like, not as like, I would totally go and adopt a child within the hour love it, but—
Dan: No? *giggling*
Phil: —but as in like, in two, three, five, six years? Yes.
Dan: I know that *giggle* We should not be having this conversation while we’e getting wine drunk, should we?
Phil: Maybe not, but I love you.
Dan: That’s not an answer, Phil.
Phil: Sure is, I promise.
Dan: Not… *pause* love you too.
Phil: Definitely. *kiss*
⸻
Phil: G’morning!
Dan: Ugh. I hate you.
Phil: *ignores him* How’re we feeling? Tired? Achy breaky bones?
Dan: I think that’s achy breaky heart, Phil.
Phil: Whatever *giggle* your heart’s not broken, so.
Dan: I HATE jetlag. How do you not have jetlag??
Phil: I absolutely do, I’m just looking forward to a good day in Tokyo.
Dan: Because you happen to know what we’re doing.
Phil: Come on, Dan, you’re excited too. *sad* Aren’t you?
Dan: *peeks up at him* yes, yes I am, I’m also incredibly tired, you fuck.
Phil: Better get going then, hm?
Dan: *smiling* As fast as I ever could…