Chapter Text
Mid-June, three days after his third year of high school ends, Mark finds himself back in Korea.
It usually goes like this: he spends the school year in Canada with his parents, then spends the summer in Korea with his aunt, uncle, and cousin Johnny.
When Johnny’s family had moved to Korea during Mark's second year of middle school, he had been devastated. Johnny was practically his brother, and Mark’s parents knew that. They decided to compromise by letting Mark stay with his aunt and uncle during the summers.
Johnny picks him up from the airport, a wide smile on his face. He ruffles Mark’s hair in greeting.
When they pull up in the driveway, Mark finds that everything looks just how he remembers it. The house remains unchanged except for a new welcome mat on the porch, this one with small birds decorating it. The inside looks the same, too. Everything is how it had been when he had left the year before. Mark lugs his bags inside and takes a deep breath. It smells like home; something familiar he can’t put a name on.
His room is untouched as well; everything is where he had left it, albeit a bit dusty. Mark falls into the bed and finds it clean. His uncle must have washed the sheets for him. He’s glad to be back. There’s something about Korea that just feels so right to him. Not that Canada is wrong, he just feels more at home here.
With nothing to do until his aunt and uncle get back home from work, Mark takes to cleaning. He wipes the dust off his desk and bookshelf, sneezing a few times in the process. He opens the window to air the place out and vacuums. When he’s done, he unpacks his things. What clothes are left in the dresser smell musty, so Mark takes them out to wash again and replaces them with the ones he brought with him. He sets his toiletries in the bathroom and a few new books on his shelf. When his suitcase is empty, he places it under the bed, moving a few boxes aside to make room.
He puts the boxes back, but one doesn’t fit. Mark takes it out and pulls off the lid. Inside are old things from his last year of middle school. There are a few notebooks—likely filled with angsty lyrics he had written—a deflated basketball, and a few printed pictures. A few are of him and Johnny, some with his aunt and uncle. He finds a couple with Johnny’s friends Jaehyun and Taeyong, one with Mark and Yuta.
The last thing in the box is an old set of walkie-talkies. Mark wonders if they still work. He attempts to turn one on but it’s dead. He finds the charging stand and plugs it in, setting the walkie-talkies to charge. Mark puts the box in the back of the closet since it doesn’t fit under the bed.
A few hours later, Mark eats dinner with his aunt, uncle, and Johnny. He tells them about Canada, about school, and all that’s happened. Most of it they already know; he made sure to call them every week while he was away, as well as text Johnny daily. But they ask him to tell them again since it means more to hear from him in person. They catch up, and Mark has never been happier. He missed them a lot.
He settles into bed that night and falls asleep right as he hits the pillow. When he wakes up, he feels better rested than he has in a long time.
☼
Mark unplugs the walkie-talkies and takes one from the stand. It isn’t very big, about the size of a small phone but bulkier. He holds the power button down and watches as it turns on. The little display screen blinks at him.
He flicks through the different channels and picks one at random, then presses down the button on the side of the device. “Hello?” he asks into it. There isn’t a response. Not that he expected one.
Mark flicks through the rest of the channels one by one, saying a greeting on each one. Nobody ever replies. It makes sense; who would be using walkie-talkies these days? People have phones now. But still, he can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. He changes to the last channel and pushes the button to speak but doesn’t say anything, just releases a breath. Lets the button go.
Static sounds from the device. “—the fuck? Jeno?” someone says. Their voice is a bit high-pitched, completely unfamiliar. Mark freezes. “Jeno-yah?”
Mark didn’t think anyone would be there. Nerves flutter in his stomach. He moves to respond but his hands are sweaty and he drops the walkie-talkie. He picks it up again and holds the button. “Umm...hi?”
“You don’t sound like Jeno,” the voice says.
“Y-yeah I’m not. Jeno that is. I have no idea who that is actually.”
“I figured.” It sounds sarcastic, almost hostile. Mark sweats. “So who are you then?” The second bit comes out more passive, curious even.
“Uh, stranger danger? I don’t know if I should tell you that.”
A pause. “Alright, Not-Jeno. Why’re you on this channel then?”
“I found an old walkie-talkie and decided to use it, I guess? I dunno, I was just going through all the channels and ended up on this one?”
“Okaaaay, Not-Jeno. What has you sighing all dramatically?”
“I’m not sighing? And my name isn’t Not-Jeno so don’t call me that.”
“Well you’re not Jeno and you won’t tell me your name so Not-Jeno it is. And yes you were, you literally started this conversation by sighing into the walkie-talkie.”
“I wasn’t sighing. I just...exhaled.”
“Dramatically.” Mark doesn’t deign to respond to that. “Ah, Not-Jeno! Are you too busy sighing to respond?”
“It’s Mark.”
“Mark?”
“My name. It’s Mark.” He figures this goes against all stranger danger rules, but a first name isn’t enough for him to be tracked and murdered. Hopefully.
“Mark? Is that American or something?”
“I’m from Canada,” he corrects, covering his mouth immediately after. How many Marks from Canada are there in Korea? Very few. His only hope is that this person isn’t a murderer.
“What happened to stranger danger, Canada?”
“Shut up.” He groans. “And don’t call me Canada.”
The voice hums. “I’ll think about it.” Mark lets it slide for now.
“So? Information for information. What’s your name?”
“Haechan. Cause I’m like the sun.”
“Painful to look at?” Mark quips.
“Necessary for all life to survive.”
“That's highly unlikely.”
“I’ll have you know I’m a delight to be around!” Haechan’s voice rises in pitch. He sounds whiney, a bit annoying, but harmless. Mark no longer fears for his life.
“Recent experience suggests otherwise.”
“Canada, you wound me!” He makes a sound like an exaggerated fake sob. Mark laughs.
☼
It’s two days later when Mark talks to Haechan again. He’s in his room, laying on the bed doing absolutely nothing when the walkie-talkie goes off. Mark jumps at the unexpected noise. It’s just static for a moment, before, “Mark. Canada, you there?”
Mark can’t help his stomach flipping. He hadn’t expected Haechan to talk with him again. After all, the first time was an accident and they hadn't said anything about keeping in touch. But Mark had left the walkie-talkie on, hoped maybe the other would talk to him again. A smile pulls at his cheeks.
“Maaaaark,” the machine emits. Mark takes it into his hand. Clears his throat before pressing the button to respond.
“Haechan-ssi?”
“Took you long enough, Canada. I thought you died or something.”
“It literally took me like 10 seconds, and what if I wasn’t by the walkie-talkie or had it turned off or something?”
“Then I’d assume you’re dead.” It’s completely monotone, emotionless. Mark laughs.
“Alright, next time if I don’t respond it means I’m dead, not just busy or whatever.”
“I just realized. Mark-ssi, I don’t know your age,” Haechan says, adding on the honorific for the first time. It should be respectful, but coming from him it sounds almost mocking.
“Alright fine, I guess we’re giving up on stranger danger. Please don’t be a serial killer,” Mark starts, but he isn’t scared. Haechan doesn’t sound like a killer or a creepy old man or anything like that, and in the worst-case scenario he can just turn off the walkie-talkie and never talk to him again. “I was born in ‘99.”
There’s no response for a minute. “Haechan?”
“Damn it you’re my hyung.”
Mark holds the button, inhales to say something. All that comes out is a loud laugh.
“Oh shut up, Mark. Only by one year, you’re not that much older than me.”
“That’s Mark- hyung to you,” Mark says, still laughing.
☼
“Nana, give me the walkie-talkie,” comes through said machine. It’s 10 PM and Mark is half-heartedly trying to sleep. “Jaemin, come on, give it back. We agreed not to—” The voice doesn’t belong to Haechan; Mark has no idea who it is.
“He’s already pressing the button to talk,” someone else says.
“Jaemin!” It cuts off there. Mark has no idea what is going on. He reaches for the walkie-talkie.
“Hey…” the machine comes alive again, this time with a third voice. They’re panting a bit. “Mark from Canada, are you there?” He’s not sure how to respond. Just stares wide-eyed at the source of the voices.
“Umm…” he hesitantly starts.
“He talks!” the third voice exclaims.
“How do you know that’s actually him?” the second voice says to the third. Then to Mark, “Are you Mark?”
“Uh, who’re you,” he says. Once again, he’s violating the rules of stranger danger. All because of this damn walkie-talkie. He never should have taken it out of that box.
“I’m Jaemin,” says Voice Three.
“Renjun,” says Voice Two. “And you technically never confirmed but I’m going to assume you’re Mark.”
“I am Mark. But umm, how do you know that?”
“Oh, Hyuck told us about you,” Renjun says. There’s screaming in the background. Mark has no idea how to act.
“Jaem—” That sounds like the first voice. Whatever else they’re saying is indecipherable through the static from the walkie-talkie. Renjun remains unbothered.
“Don’t mind them, Jeno’s just mad Jaemin locked him in the closet.” So Voice One must be the infamous Jeno. Mark feels a bit bad for him. “But Hyuck told us you were on this channel, practically banned us from using it.”
“Hyuck?” Mark doesn’t know who that is. Another friend of Haechan’s maybe?
“Yeah, Donghyuck. You know… the person you’ve been talking to on here.” Renjun must have moved because Mark can’t hear the chaos in the background anymore.
“Oh…” Did Haechan—no— Donghyuck give him a fake name?
“Oh shit. You’re not Mark are you.”
“What? No, I am.” It makes sense, stranger danger after all. Mark wonders why he didn’t think of that. It certainly would have been safer. But he doesn’t think Haech— Donghyuck is dangerous, so he isn’t worried.
“Then—” There’s the sound of a door opening.
“Mark!” Jaemin says.
“He’s not Mark!” Renjun shouts.
“What do you mean he’s not—” The walkie-talkie cuts off.
Mark waits for a moment. He knows he should probably say something, but he has no idea what. Mark really shouldn’t have picked up the walkie-talkie.
A few minutes pass. “Okay. If you’re not Mark, who are you and what are you doing on this channel?” He thinks this is Jeno; his voice is lower than Renjun’s and less gravely than Jaemin’s. He sounds very stern. Mark wonders if he should be scared. He kind of is.
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” he manages without stuttering. “I am Mark.”
“Renjun says you don’t know Donghyuck,” Jeno says, suspicious.
“Uh no, I do…I think. He told me his name was Haechan.”
“Ah, that’s Hyuckie alright, it’s a childhood nickname,” Jeno says, at the same time as Jaemin says, “Sorry, Renjun’s just a dumbass.”
“Well excuse you,” Renjun says, and suddenly there’s a loud crash.
“Sorry for the misunderstanding, and for doing this at 10 PM. Jaemin and Renjun wanted to meet you, and Hyuck’s away for the night so he won’t be by the walkie-talkie. They decided now was the perfect time,” Jeno says, completely ignoring whatever was going on with Jaemin and Renjun. Mark wonders how often this happens for Jeno to be so desensitized.
“That’s okay? But umm, why did you want to talk to me in the first place?”
“Nana wait—”
“Hyuck banished us from this channel because he didn't want us to talk to you. We wanted to know what all the fuss was about.” Jaemin laughs.
“And he’s been talking about you all the time,” Renjun adds.
Mark laughs one of his awkward laughs. He holds the button but doesn’t know what to say.
“Again, I’m sorry about this. I tried to convince them to wait until the morning at least. I hope we didn’t wake you up,” Jeno says.
“Oh, you didn’t, you’re okay.”
“Well, we should probably let you go,”
“No wait, I wanna talk to him more!” comes from Jaemin.
“Yeah! We even went through all the trouble to lock you in the closet so we could talk with him,” from Renjun.
“No, guys that's— Sorry Mark, it was nice to meet you, we’ll be going now,” Jeno says.
“We’ll just lock you in the closet again!” Jaemin says, and then the feed cuts out.
Mark waits a few minutes to see if they’ll say anything again but figures Renjun and Jaemin weren’t able to lock Jeno in the closet because nothing comes. He’s left trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
☼
The next morning, Mark wakes up late. His phone says it’s 12:17 PM. Rolling out of bed, he yawns and stretches. When he comes out of his room, he finds Johnny in the dining room, a plate of eggs in front of him. He pauses with a bite hanging in the air when he sees Mark.
“Oh, I thought you were still sleeping. I’d have made you some if I knew you were awake,” Johnny says.
Mark waves him off and grabs some cereal. He gets the milk and makes himself a bowl. Then he sits with Johnny to eat his breakfast. They talk a bit, Johnny telling him about Yuta’s latest failed attempt to ask Sicheng out, the time Taeyong had gotten drunk and cried over cat videos. Mark laughs, remembers he hasn’t seen them since he got back and makes a note to do so as soon as he can. He misses them, wishes he had been there for their shenanigans.
After eating, he brushes his teeth and takes a quick shower. As he’s drying his hair, the walkie-talkie goes off again.
“Mark-ssi?” From the honorific, he already knows it isn’t Donghyuck. “Are you up?” He thinks it’s Jeno if he remembers their voices correctly.
He crosses the room and the machine up. “Hello.”
“Oh good, I hope I didn’t wake you,”
“It’s past one, literally why would he be sleeping?” Renjun says.
“You never know, I’m just being polite,” Jeno tells him. Then to Mark, “We wanted to talk to you again, Mark-ssi, this time at a more appropriate hour.”
“Well, thank you, then.” Mark laughs. He sits on the bed, running the towel through his hair.
“So—” Jeno gets cut off by the sound of a door slamming open.
“Why didn’t you wait for us?” a new voice says.
“Yeah, we wanted to meet him too!” says a second new voice.
“Ah, he’s here now, come say hi,” Jeno tells them.
“Hello, I’m Chenle!” the first voice says. He sounds younger than the rest of them, his voice higher-pitched and youthful. “Hyuck said you’re older than us, can I call you Hyung?”
“I mean, sure? You all can if you want,” Mark replies.
“Yay!” Chenle practically screams, his voice reaching new octaves. Mark is glad the walkie-talkie has a set volume level; that must have been eardrum-shattering in person. “Jisung! Your turn!”
“Umm, I’m Jisung,” the other voice says. He sounds a bit nervous.
“He’s our youngest,” Jaemin says. “Our cute little Maknae.” He makes some kissy noises and Jisung groans. He’d been quiet until now, Mark hadn’t even known Jaemin was there.
“It’s nice to meet you both,” Mark says.
“You too, Hyung, Hyuck’s been talking about you all the time,” Chenle says.
“It’s true, he practically can’t stop,” Renjun adds.
“Oh?” Mark wonders what kind of things Donghyuck had been saying.
“Anyway,” Jeno starts. “Donghyuck was at his grandma’s house, but he’ll probably be back in the next hour or so.”
“Wait, what’s he been saying?”
Chenle laughs, loud. “Just that—” The feed cuts off. Mark waits. “He’s been saying—” There’s some clatter in the background.
After a moment, “Well it was nice talking to you again, Mark-hyung,” Jeno says. “But we should probably go before Hyuck comes home and finds out we talked to you.”
“Ah okay, bye then?”
There’s a chorus of the rest of them saying goodbye. “Talk to you again soon, Hyung!” from Chenle. The walkie-talkie goes silent.
Mark thinks he likes Donghyuck’s friends. They’re chaotic, sure, but they’re funny too. He thinks they would be a lot of fun in person. Maybe he’d like to meet them all for real sometime. Stranger danger be damned.
☼
Mark spends a couple of hours wasting time. He isn’t sure exactly when Donghyuck is going to get back, but Jeno said about an hour. It’s been two. He decides to check.
“Haechan-ah?” he asks into the walkie-talkie. He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, palms sweaty as usual. He’s been wanting to talk to the other again, but all the times past it had been Donghyuck initiating. Aside from that first time, but that was an accident. Mark hasn’t reached out like this before and for some reason he’s nervous. He waits for a moment, too scared to say anything else. Then,
“Mark-hyung?” Donghyuck says. Mark hasn’t talked to him in a few days, hearing his voice again makes him realize he missed him. It’s been a while since he’s made a new friend; it makes sense that he’s excited.
“Hi Donghyuck-ah,” he says. Then he realizes his mistake. He had been planning on asking about the whole fake name thing, but he didn’t intend to do it like this. He messed up. Now he either exposes Donghyuck’s friends or seems like a stalker. “Fuck.” He mentally apologizes to Jeno.
“Oh my God.”
Mark cringes.
“How did you— oh my God. Fuck.” Donghyck sounds genuinely distressed. He probably thinks Mark is a creep, or worse.
“Wait! That was an accident!”
“How do you know my name?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking why you gave a fake one?” Mark probably shouldn’t have said that.
“Oh my God. You better not be a serial killer.” Donghyuck’s voice grows more and more pinched.
“That came out wrong, I shouldn’t have said that. Just let me explain, please.”
“How the fuck do you know my name?” And oh, he’s yelling now.
“I talked with your friends. I’m not a stalker, I promise.”
“Those fuckers. What the fuck.”
“Don’t be mad at them, they just wanted to meet me. They didn’t say anything weird,” Mark says, trying to save the situation. Again, he mentally apologizes to Jeno.
“They told you my real name!”
“It was an accident!”
“Oh my God. Traitors. All of them. Who was it?”
“Promise you won’t murder anyone?” Donghyuck makes an angry noise. Mark can’t help but add, “Shouldn’t I be the angry one? You did give me a fake name after all,” It’s the wrong thing to say.
“First of all, you’re the one who was going on about stranger danger! I was being safe! I don’t know you!” Ouch, that one hurt a bit. “And it’s not even a fake name, it’s a nickname! So fuck you! I’m done.”
“Wait! Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that,” Mark rushes out.
“Well, you did.”
“And I shouldn’t have. I get it, I probably would have done it too in your situation. I’m sorry I said that.”
“Whatever.” Mark takes it as a success. “But still, who did you talk to?”
“Are you going to murder anyone?”
“...no.” He’s pouting. Mark can practically hear it.
“I talked with Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun last night.” He doesn’t add the part about this morning with Chenle and Jisung. They weren’t involved in exposing Donghyuck’s real name.
“And this morning?” Donghyuck sees right through him.
“Them plus Chenle and Jisung,” Mark hesitantly adds. He hopes Donghyuck won’t be too angry at them. “They didn’t do anything though, just introduced themselves.”
Donghyuck sighs very audibly.
“Please don’t be mad at them; they seem nice.”
“So they didn’t embarrass me or anything?”
Mark thinks of how they kept saying how much Donghyuck talks about him. “No, not at all.”
“Yeah yeah, fine then. I’ll play nice.” He sounds sarcastic, but Mark can tell he means it.
“Thank you, Donghyuck-ah.” Mark smiles. He feels warm for some reason.
☼
Three days later, Mark goes out with Johnny, Yuta, Jaehyun, and Taeyong. Yuta smiles as soon as he sees Mark, big and megawatt, and pulls him into a hug. Jaehyun ruffles his hair, and Taeyong takes him by both arms and frowns at how they’re now the same height.
It feels like it’s been games since he last saw them. They’re mainly Johnny’s friends, but Mark’s always been close to them as well. He’s glad to see them; he missed them a lot while he was in Canada. He’ll need to visit Jungwoo and Lucas soon as well.
They decide to go to an arcade to play laser tag. It was Johnny’s idea; he wanted to play for nostalgia. It’s been a while since Mark has played laser tag, the most recent time he can think of was when he was fourteen.
They get inside and buy tickets for a game, then wait in line for it. Yuta’s wearing a white shirt, and he enthuses over it glowing in the blacklight.
After about ten minutes or so, a man comes out and beckons them and a few others inside for the game. He explains the rules and helps them into their vests.
There are three other people in there with them, an older man, a young boy Mark assumes is his son, and a tall teenage girl. She has an angry aura about her.
Since there are eight of them total, Jaehyun ends up getting split up from the rest of the group. He goes to the other side of the room and pulls a vest from the wall, pulling it on as Taeyong shakes his head solemnly. Johnny pouts and Jaehyun laughs.
“We’ve been betrayed,” says Yuta. He turns away from Jaehyun dramatically, and Mark tightens the buckles on the vest over his exposed back.
After everyone is ready, they head into the game arena. The employee leads each team to their respective bases. And with that, the game begins. Mark wanders around aimlessly for a minute, and all of a sudden he hears,
“Traitor!”
And then, “Damn it, Taeyong!”
Mark stifles a laugh as Jaehyun presumably gets tagged. He grips his gun tightly, adjusting his slightly sweaty grip. As he turns a corner, he bumps into someone and startles, ready to shoot. It turns out to be Johnny, and he puts a finger over his lips and gestures in front of him.
He’s crouching behind a green glowing half-wall, and beyond that is the teenage girl shuffling past. Johnny shoots her straight in the chest, whooping in triumph as her vest flashes red. The girl turns furious eyes in their direction and Johnny runs. Mark is left frozen as she glares. He manages to get away before her gun regains function, but he’s wary.
Mark turns another corner and gapes at what he sees next. Jaehyun, the father, and his son are all ganged up on Taeyong, who’s in plain sight. Somehow, he manages to avoid all their attacks, moving gracefully and in ways Mark could never. It must be his dancer skills. Mark’s a bit jealous. Maybe he shouldn’t have quit dancing when he was eleven.
Taeyong gets the boy out and howls before he gets the dad, too. “It's just you and me now, traitor,” he says to Jaehyun. It doesn’t sound hostile though, it’s playful, dare Mark say it, flirty. He turns around and goes the other way; he doesn’t need to see that.
All too soon, their fifteen minutes are up. The lights flick on and they gravitate toward the exit. As they’re taking off their vests and putting them back, Mark checks the scoreboard. It turns out Taeyong is very good at laser tag; he’s at the top, with nearly double the points Johnny got, who’s in second place. Mark flushes at his own pitiful score, but he isn’t mad at it; he had fun.
They decide to play some games at the arcade before they leave, Taeyong winning nearly every one of them. Mark wouldn’t have expected him to be so good at games, but it turns out he is. An hour later, they leave the building with smiles on their faces. It’s been a long time since Mark has had this much fun. He’s left feeling full when they part ways. They’ll have to do this again soon.
When Mark gets home, he calls Donghyuck’s name into the walkie-talkie. The other doesn’t answer; he must be busy or away from the device. Mark can’t help but wish he had his number to text him instead. Still, he’s too high on having seen his friends for the first time in a long time to be too disappointed.
☼
Three weeks into the summer, Mark has ended up in a bit of an unconventional routine.
He and Donghyuck talk almost every day, even though they’ve never met in person. You won’t catch Mark complaining though. He’s come to like Donghyuck a lot. He’s sarcastic, witty, even a bit mean at times, but Mark kind of likes it. Talking with him is always entertaining, and it makes something warm bloom in Mark’s chest that he hasn’t put a name to quite yet.
He’s also kept in touch with Donghyuck’s friends. Jisung opens up from the shy boy he’d seemed to be at first. Chenle remains loud and a total happy virus. The two of them bring out the best in each other. Renjun is always ready to fight, but at the same time, he’s kind and caring. Mark can tell he just wants the best for everyone. Jaemin is a bit puzzling at times and seems to have two entirely different personalities, quiet and chill, and hyper and chaotic. Jeno seems to be the most levelheaded of the group, he’s responsible and kind, always makes sure everyone is included.
It’s around 6:30 PM, and Mark is talking with Jaemin and Jeno. The more he gets to know them, the more they seem to come as a package deal. They’re always together, and when one isn’t available, chances are the other isn’t either. It makes him oddly happy to see how close they are.
It makes Mark wonder aloud, “How long have you guys been friends?”
“Jeno and I?” Jaemin asks. There’s something that’s impossibly fond in his voice.
“Yeah, and the rest of you.”
Jaemin hums. “Let’s see. Jeno and I have been friends since mid-elementary or so?”
“Third grade, yeah,” Jeno confirms.
“Then we met Renjun and Donghyuck the year after. Hyuck hated us at first, remember?” Jaemin laughs. “He thought we were stealing Renjun from him.”
Mark smiles. Not for the first time, he wishes he had more friends growing up. He has friends in Canada, but most are casual friends and acquaintances, the kind he doesn’t see outside of school unless it's a group outing. He’d always been closest to Johnny and his friends, but they live in Korea and he doesn’t get to spend as much time with them throughout the year.
“Then we met Chenle and Jisung in our second year of middle school. They’re the year below us and Hyuck kind of informally tutored Jisung in math and they just ended up joining the group,” Jeno finishes.
“What are your friends like, Hyung?” Jaemin asks.
“Well, there’s Johnny. He’s my cousin but I’ve always been really close to him. He’s actually the reason I come to Korea in the summer. When I was younger his family moved and I wanted to come with so my parents compromised since they knew how much Johnny means to me,” he says.
“Wait. You only spend the summer in Korea? So you’re going back to Canada?” Jeno asks. Something about his tone sounds off.
“Well, yeah? I go to school there so I kind of have to go back.”
“Have you told Hyuck yet?” There’s a frown in his voice.
“It hasn’t come up.”
“You should tell him soon,” Jaemin advises him solemnly.
Mark hadn’t thought about it. But yeah, he’s going back to Canada when the summer ends. He wonders if Donghyuck will want to stay in touch. It might provide an excuse to ask for his number since he’ll be way out of walkie-talkie range. He’s a little disappointed about the reminder though. He hadn’t forgotten exactly, but now he remembers how much he likes Korea better than Canada. He doesn’t really want to go back.
“Okay, I will.”
Jeno clears his throat, “so… Your friends?”
“Ah, yeah. Umm, then there’s Jaehyun and Taeyong. They’re more Johnny’s friends than mine, but I love them a lot. Jaehyun spent four years in America, so he, Johnny, and I all talk in English together sometimes. Taeyong is practically my mom at this point; he’s super caring and responsible and always tells me how much I’ve grown when I visit.” he laughs, Taeyong’s pout when he found them to be the same height in mind.
“He sounds nice,” Jeno murmurs. Jaemin hums in agreement.
“He is. Honestly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Then there’s Yuta, he’s… you’d have to meet him to understand. He’s a bit of a wild card at times. Then there’s Lucas and Jungwoo. They’re both super sweet; Lucas is practically a teddy bear and Jungwoo is like… the perfect human. They’ve also been pining after each other for literal years . I love them, but they’re idiots sometimes.” Mark feels fond. He loves his friends.
“Mmm, I can relate to that,” Jaemin says. It sounds teasing and Mark isn’t sure who it’s directed at.
“What, like having friends pining after each other or something?”
“Or something.” He giggles. Mark’s confused.
His aunt calls him down for dinner right then. He says his goodbyes and quickly forgets about Jaemin’s odd remark.
☼
“How did the walkie-talkie thing originate in the first place?” Mark asks Donghyuck one night.
“It’s kind of a long story. For some background, Chenle comes from a pretty rich family, so he’s always had access to new and expensive stuff,” Donghyuck starts. Mark traces patterns over the screen on his walkie-talkie as he listens.
“As a kid, he had this fancy-ass phone, and not a lot of people in his grade had phones, so they’d use walkie-talkies instead. This was before we met him, by the way, he’s a year younger so he wasn’t in middle school yet, and we were. But he made friends with Jisung, and one time, they were playing and Jisung broke his phone. I wasn’t there, but Chenle says he totally freaked out.” Donghyuck laughs, high-pitched and pretty. “But keep in mind this phone was super expensive. So Jisung was panicking, and since he couldn’t buy Chenle a phone, he gave him his other walkie-talkie. Even after Chenle got a new phone, they kept using the walkie-talkies and it became a tradition.”
“That’s actually kind of cute,” Mark says, smiling.
“It is, isn’t it? But they kept using them when they went into middle school and after we met they converted the rest of us. All of us have phones, but we tend to use the walkie-talkies if we know whoever we’re talking to is home. It’s just nostalgic I guess.” There’s an audible grin in Donghyuck’s voice. Mark wishes he could see it.
“I remember using walkie-talkies with Johnny as a kid. That’s why I have some, they were wasting away in a box but I found them and decided to take them out just for fun. And then I met you,” Mark says. “If not for that box, I wouldn’t be here talking to you right now.”
“And what a tragedy that would have been. Imagine not meeting me; your life would be so boring,” Donghyuck says dramatically.
“Yeah,” Mark breathes. And immediately flushes. He didn’t mean to say that, especially not so sincerely. He’s exposed himself big time, and now he has to pay the price.
“Oh? You admit that you can’t live without me?”
“That’s not what I said and you know it.” Mark could die of embarrassment.
“But you agreed! Your life would be boring without me.”
Mark takes every positive thought he had ever had about Donghyuck back. He’s the spawn of Satan.
“Shut up,” he says, without any heat. Then, because despite the mortification he means it, he adds, “but yeah. You and the rest do make my life a bit more interesting.”
“The rest?”
“Yeah, Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun, Chenle, Jisung. The rest.”
“You’ve been talking with them?” There’s something Mark can’t place in Donghyuck’s tone.
“Yes? Is that bad?”
“No, not at all.”
Neither of them says anything for a moment.
“Should I not be talking to them or something?” Mark frowns.
“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Donghyuck trails off.
“Just what?”
“...It was kind of nice before.” He’s muttering. Mark has to strain to understand him.
“What do you mean before?”
“Like…” Donghyuck makes an embarrassed noise. “Forget it.”
“No, what do you mean?” Mark is just concerned now; he doesn’t understand Donghyuck’s distress.
“Like...itwaskindofnicehavingyoutomyself,” Donghyuck blurts in one breath. Then he promptly shuts up.
“Oh.”
Oh.
Donghyuck is jealous. Mark flushes, feeling too warm all of a sudden. Something buzzes pleasantly in his fingertips. Donghyuck wanted him to himself. And Mark kind of likes the thought. Of being Donghyuck’s. Oh.
Oh shit.
Mark likes Donghyuck.
Mark likes Donghyuck.
And Donghyuck is jealous. Does that mean he likes Mark too? Although, from a friendship perspective it would make sense. Donghyuck made a new friend and his old friends are making friends with the new one. He remembers Jaemin and Jeno saying Donghyuck felt like they were stealing Renjun from him when they met. That must be what this is. Mark tries not to feel disappointed; he’s never even met Donghyuck in person. What are the odds of him liking Mark back when they haven’t even seen each other? Probably very low.
Mark is an exception; but how could he not fall for Donghyuck? He may be a bit snarky, but he’s funny, he’s nice, and Mark likes him.
Mark takes a breath and tries not to panic. “You’ll always be my favorite, Hyuck-ah,” he says when he finally gets the courage to respond. It comes out so fond. Too fond. Mark is officially screwed.
☼
Mark doesn’t know what to do with his newfound realization. He likes Donghyuck. And he’s never really liked anyone before. He’s had a few fleeting crushes here and there, but they always went away pretty quickly. With Donghyuck it doesn’t feel like that.
It can’t be the same, because those crushes were based on looks; Mark finding someone attractive and thinking he might like to take them out. But this. He doesn’t even know what Donghyuck looks like. All he has is a voice—albeit a very nice one—and a personality.
Although, the strongest crushes should be based on personality, in Mark’s opinion. It doesn’t matter if someone’s hot if they’re an asshole. As much as he would like his partner to be attractive, if he likes their personality enough, maybe he’d be okay if they were ugly.
But still. Mark hopes Donghyuck isn’t ugly.
He decides to go to Johnny. It may be embarrassing, but he wants someone else’s take on the situation. Especially since Johnny has dated before; he might know what to do.
Mark finds Johnny in the living room splayed out on the couch and watching some random movie. Taking a deep breath. Mustering all the courage he possibly can into his body, Mark walks over to him. He stops in front of the TV, blocking Johnny’s view. Johnny quirks an eyebrow.
“I need to talk to you about something,” Mark says.
“Okay?” Johnny frowns, but reaches for the remote and pauses the movie. He shifts his legs off the couch and offers the seat to Mark. Mark takes it, sitting with his clammy hands in his lap.
“So… I think I like someone,” he blurts.
“Oh? Well, what’re they like?”
“He’s really funny, and witty. But he’s also really nice and smart. I like him and I don’t know what to do about it,” Mark gushes. His face turns red promptly after, but he faces Johnny and tries to convey his seriousness through his eyes.
Johnny laughs. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you compliment your crush on something other than their looks. Just tell me, is he ugly? Is that why you’re panicking about what to do?”
“What? No!” Mark objects. “He’s… Well, he’s…”
“Unattractive?”
“No! It’s just…” Mark takes a deep breath and faces the issue head-on. “I don’t know what he looks like.”
“What do you mean you don’t know what he looks like? Did you meet him online? Cause that’s sketchy, Mark. He could be a stalker or something!” Johnny gestures wildly with his hands.
“Not exactly. You remember the walkie-talkies from when we were younger?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“That’s how I met him. Through the walkie-talkie.”
“What the fuck?” All in all, it’s a better reaction than Mark expected. “Who even uses those things anymore?”
“He does, and his friends. It’s like their thing.”
“Okay, but how did you even meet him? Like you just found the walkie-talkies and said hi?” Johnny asks incredulously.
“Pretty much.”
“Wow ok. And you’re sure he’s not a serial killer?”
“Well, not one hundred percent, cause we’ve never actually met in person, but it is highly unlikely that he is. I’ve met all his friends and they’re chill too,” Mark says.
“As long as you’re sure.” There’s thinly-veiled skepticism in his voice.
“They’re all nice, I promise!”
“Okay okay, I believe you. Just please be careful,” Johnny says, concern lacing his tone.
“I will. Don’t worry.” Mark waves his hand. Johnny frowns. “But what should I do? I haven’t met him in person, so it would be really weird to confess, and what are the chances that he would like me back? I’m just some random guy that hijacked his walkie-talkie server.”
“How long have you been talking?”
“Almost a month? And we talk almost every day.”
“Yeah, he definitely thinks of you as more than some random guy who hijacked his walkie-talkie server. I don’t know anything about him so I can’t tell you whether he likes you romantically, but he likes you as a friend at the very least.”
“I wanna meet him, Johnny. Like, for real, face-to-face,” Mark says wistfully. “But I don’t know how to ask. What if he thinks I’m creepy? Or what if we meet and he thinks I’m ugly and doesn’t even want to be friends anymore? I don’t think I could live with that. Oh my God. What do I do?”
“First of all, you’re literally not ugly what the fuck. Maybe try asking for his number instead of immediately trying to meet in person. I don’t think it would scare him away since he already talks with you all the time, but it’s still a lot less risky than meeting in person. Plus, you’ll be able to talk with him more often and it’ll be a lot more convenient than using the walkie-talkies all the time,” Johnny says. His advice is surprisingly good. Mark might just take it.
“Okay, but how do I go about that? I can’t just bring it up out of the blue, that would be so embarrassing.”
“Maybe hint at how inconvenient the walkie-talkies are? If you’re lucky he might ask for your number first. And if he doesn’t it’ll still be easy for you to bring it up yourself.”
“Okay. Okay, I’ll try that. Thanks, Johnny,” Mark says. And he means it. He’s glad he went to Johnny for this. He’s still terribly nervous, sure, but at least he has a bit of an idea on what steps to take next. It might take some time, but he’ll do it. He’ll get Donghyuck’s number, meet him in person, and eventually confess. He doesn’t worry about what will come after, he’ll deal with that when the time comes.
☼
“Hey, Mark-hyung?” Donghyuck starts one night. His voice is quiet, softer than usual. Mark blames it on the lateness; he must be tired. “What’s Canada like?”
“Canada?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s… Well, it’s good. The people are nice and the scenery is pretty…” he trails off. To be honest, Mark has never really thought about it. He was always too busy wanting to be in Korea to think much about Canada. “It’s colder there than it is here, but it’s nice.”
“But do you like it there?”
“I— yeah? I guess I do. I don’t dislike it.”
“You don’t sound very fond of it, though,” Donghyuck says. It’s true, Mark isn’t particularly fond of Canada. All his friends are in Korea, the only thing in Canada for him is his parents. He loves them, but sometimes he wishes it was the other way around and that he spent the summers in Canada and the year in Korea. But he doesn’t know how to bring that up.
“No, I guess I don't.” Mark blinks, looks down at the walkie-talkie in his hands. Huh.
“It’s just that I spend every school year there, so I can’t let myself not like it there? I like Korea better, but I spend more time in Canada so I kind of have to like it. I’d be miserable otherwise.”
“Are you going back there this year, too?” Donghyuck sounds tentative, like he’s scared of the answer. It’s then that Mark remembers Jaemin and Jeno saying to tell Donghyuck he’s going back. He remembers something odd in their voices, something he couldn’t place. Mark intended to bring it up after that but has forgotten since then. He figures this is as good an opportunity as he’ll ever get.
“Ah, yeah. I am. But I still have the rest of the summer here, so I won’t be leaving very soon,” he says. He wonders if now would be a good time to ask for Donghyuck’s number. He could say he wants to keep in touch. But he isn’t leaving for a while, so would that be weird? In the end, his throat clogs up before he can say anything else. He clears his throat noisily, glad Donghyuck can’t hear him while he isn’t pressing the button on the walkie-talkie. That, he supposes, is one advantage to using the old machines over their actual phones. There’s less room to hide on a phone call.
“Oh,” is all Donghyuck says. It comes out dejected. Mark doesn’t know what to say.
“But I’ll be back again next summer, so it’s fine,” he says, trying to save the situation. He just wants Donghyuck to be his usual self, bright and talkative, happy. He hates the disappointment in his tone, wants nothing more than for it to go away. “And I'm probably going to college here so I'm back for good after next year.”
Donghyuck laughs, but it doesn’t sound quite right; it’s too loud, too high-pitched. It’s fake. “Just don’t forget me while you’re in Canada, Mark-hyung. After all, I’m your favorite,” he says.
“Like I could,” Mark says sincerely. Donghyuck says he has to go shortly after. Mark feels like he’s done something wrong.