Chapter Text
His head was spinning. The lights were too bright. The noise spiked through him every few minutes. It was overwhelming. Hell, everything about the past few days had been. He felt Carlos’s hand on his back, warm and encouraging. He was exhausted. He knew he needed to be resting. He’d been told time and time again by nurses, doctors, his family. He needed to probably still be in one of the rooms, in a bed of his own.
But…
His family needed him. Judd needed them.
And, he kind of needed them himself after everything he’d been through. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t trust himself to be alone.
“TK? You okay, babe?”
He tried to plaster on a smile. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Carlos didn’t look convinced. “And hurting?” He reached up and gently ran a hand through TK’s hair. The large white bandages were gone, leaving smaller ones that practically blended into his skin and hair in their wake. The stitches under them itched and ached. His whole head ached. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back home? We can do whatever you need. Judd will understand.”
TK nodded then stopped abruptly as it caused pain to spike through his head. “I’m okay. I’m resting here. It’s fine.”
“I don’t know that I would call this resting. You’re sitting up in the waiting room chairs with hospital lights and sounds and—“
“Okay,” TK relented with a shrug. “It’s not ideal. But none of this is. And I want to be here. I can’t…I can’t not be here.” He sent a pleading look.
Carlos didn’t fight him. He instead let his hand travel from the back of his head to his shoulders, pull him closer into his side. “Okay. We can stay. But, just let me know if you need to lay down. Or if things get too much. Or—mmph!”
TK cut him off with a chaste kiss on top of his mask. “I will,” he promised once they parted. He rubbed a hand over his face as he sat back in his chair. Carlos’s arm remained around his shoulders. “Has Paul and Marjan said much about when they will get here with all the food?”
Carlos smiled softly at the change in topic. “It’s killing you to not have screen time, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t say that,” he whined. “But….”
“I know.” Carlos shook his head fondly and pulled out his phone. “They should be here soon. We can go down to the car and help them bring it up if you feel up to that. We did order a lot after all.”
“Yeah.” TK sighed. “I’d like to go down to help.” He rubbed at his face again. “I feel like I need to do something.”
Carlos leaned over and gave him a kiss this time, the masks still getting in the way. “I know. I think we are all feeling a little useless right now.”
They had all watched as Owen and Tommy moved back and forth between the two rooms, constantly keeping Judd and Grace’s parents updated and in the loop. Marjan and Paul couldn’t take sitting still much longer; after a few hours, they had volunteered to go pick up food for everyone and bring it back to their waiting room. The hospital had been kind, allowing the large party to stay in the secluded area as long as they remained mostly masked.
It seemed like everyone in Austin knew Judd and Grace. Everyone wanted to help.
Mateo exited not long after the others went for food. His rosary was gripped tightly in his hands. He didn’t say much. Just excused himself with a promise to return before the others. Charles had headed out to pick up the girls. Nancy had remained in touch with calls, not feeling up to being there after the last few days they had all had.
It had been too much on everyone.
It had left just Carlos and TK alone for the time being. They had helped submit orders for food and remained alert in case Owen or Tommy needed something. If anyone needed them. But they had largely sat in silence.
TK let out a long breath and sat forward, letting his head fall into his hands and covering his eyes. He heard footsteps around him but didn’t move til someone sat beside him and a hand came up on his back. The familiar presence did little to calm him for once.
“How’re you holding up, kiddo?”
TK sighed and let himself lean back in the chair again. His father’s hand remained on his back, rubbing gently. He opened his eyes and took in the man’s tired face. “Okay. How are you? With all this. I mean, it’s a lot on you.”
Owen gave him a smile. “Don’t need to worry about me. I’m okay.” He sat forward in his seat and glanced at Carlos. “Making sure he takes it easy for me?”
TK snorted but Carlos responded in earnest. “Yes, sir.”
“Now what have I said about that?”
Carlos blushed, making TK laugh a little for the first time all day. “Owen. I know. Habit.”
“Good man.” Owen took in a long breath and held it a moment. He released it. “Thank you.”
Neither TK nor Carlos knew what to say. Or who Owen was directing his thanks to. They lapsed into silence once more, all shifting nervously and tiredly in the painful seats. Yet, they all perked up when more footsteps came toward them. Tommy joined, taking a seat on the nearby coffee table.
“Hey boys.”
“Cap,” TK greeted as he tried to sit up more for her.
“Stand down, Strand,” Tommy encouraged, giving him a worried look. Her eyes flashed up to his head. “How’re you feeling?” She leaned forward and gently touched the bandage on his forehead, much like she had done in the restaurant, smoothing the edges and ensuring he was okay. That he was with them still.
“Better than I was.” He flinched at the pain that ran through him, but tried to cover it with another grin.
She raised an eyebrow at him before turning to Carlos. “How is he really?”
Carlos chuckled at TK look of annoyance. “Still getting bad headaches. Light sensitive and some sound issues. But lights more than anything.”
“Do you want a pair of sunglasses? I probably have some down in my truck,” Owen offered.
“Nah,” TK replied. “Hoodie helps sometimes. Just have been pulling it up and using it to block out the light and sound when I’ve needed to. But I’m okay.”
No one looked convinced.
“Pain number?” Tommy continued.
“I’m fine. It’s maybe a three. Four at most.” He shifted nervously under the scrutiny.
“So that really means a six or an eight in ‘TK’,” Owen added.
TK groaned at that. “I really am fine.”
“You’ve got a moderate concussion, TK,” Tommy added softly. She gave him another concerned look. “You were just discharged from this same hospital, what? A day ago?”
“I’m fine. It’s not that severe.”
“Babe, I—“ Carlos was cut off by his phone ringing. He sighed and clicked over to answer. TK could see Paul’s picture on the screen. “Hey. Yeah. Okay. We’ll be right there.” He clicked off. “Paul and Marjan are downstairs with food.”
“I can help,” TK said, trying to shake off the looks from his dad and captain. “Someone should go grab Mateo.”
“Where’d he go?” Owen asked.
“Pretty sure the chapel upstairs,” TK replied. He stood on unsteady legs. Carlos followed and grabbed his arm to keep him steady. “Overhead him ask the nurses if it was open earlier.”
“I remember where it it,” Owen continued. “I can get him.”
“I’ll go grab Judd,” Tommy offered. “You two okay to grab the food?”
“Yeah,” TK promised, straightening up more. “Good to go.” He sent them what he hoped was a reassuring smile and moved forward to the elevator. Carlos followed behind him. He could hear Tommy and Owen talking, but tried not to dwell on what they said. He knew they were just worried.
“You sure you’re okay?” Carlos asked one last time.
“Perfect, babe.” Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Okay…maybe less perfect but I’m okay.”
Carlos hit the button for the bottom floor and then pulled him into a quick hug. They rode down and met Paul in the parking lot. No one really knew what to say but they all made quick work of gathering the large amounts of food and bringing it back up. The nurses and staff gave them all sympathetic looks, holding doors open and offering help as they could. TK couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by how much people wanted to help them.
How everyone wanted to help Judd and Grace.
“Did you guys order the entire menu?” Owen asked as they came back to the room with all the bags. Tommy just laughed and excused herself to get Judd from Grace’s room. Owen stepped over to help. TK handed over a few bags. He didn’t want to admit that he was tired and sore already. Even if he had just been sitting in the waiting room all day.
“Nearly,” Carlos replied.
TK smiled through it all. “Yeah, we wanted everyone to have options.”
Owen returned the smile and squeezed TK’s arm. They all started laying out the food and preparing it so that Judd could grab whatever he needed. So they could all be there and help. They just wanted to help.
Tommy brought Judd out after a moment.
“There he is,” Owen greeted.
TK couldn’t help but smile genuinely at the sight of the man. “Hey Judd!” He let himself focus on his friend.
The others started greeting him, asking about him. TK kept helping Carlos sort out the food and unpacking it all. His heart broke as Judd spoke of Grace. Of her favorite food. At the sight of his hands shaking. He couldn’t help but reach up and squeeze his shoulder.
They all crowded around the man. Offering support. Pulling him into a hug. TK felt nearly overwhelmed by it all, standing the closest to Judd. He could only imagine how the man was holding up with it.
Police officers rounded the corner. They spoke to Carlos, detailing the drunk driver down the hall.
The man who nearly killed Grace.
The words echoed throughout the waiting room, stunning everyone into silence.
TK felt like he had been doused in cold water. He watched Judd’s face fall, heard his father ask if the man was good. He couldn’t look away. He saw the judgement. The anger. All of it. He felt it.
He tried to take a deep breath. He needed to separate from the situation. That man wasn’t him. He hadn’t done anything like that when he was using. He never hurt anyone.
But…
He knows he could have. He always knew he could have.
God…
No one looked at him, all focused on Judd. He knew that was who needed it. But he couldn’t help but worry. Couldn’t help but feel they couldn’t look at him. That they were judging him. He couldn’t shake that fear. That guilt.
He was always guilty.
Carlos’s hand was on his back after a moment. Rubbing slowly and gently. “Can I fix you a plate, babe?”
TK rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his aching head in the process. “Not yet. Maybe later.” He tried to smile, but it fell flat. Carlos could tell. He always could.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just not hungry.” He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. “Still kind of nauseous.” He just wasn’t sure if it was from the concussion or the news. “I’m okay though.” He leaned into Carlos’s touch, but his eyes couldn’t leave Judd’s face. “You should eat though.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Go on.”
“Will the smell bother you?”
“No.” TK swallowed thickly. “I’m good.”
Carlos looked skeptical. But TK couldn’t focus on that. Instead, he watched Judd as the man moved towards the edge of the group. The man kept glancing down the hall.
To where the driver no doubt was.
“Ty?”
TK turned back to Carlos. “Yeah?”
“Did you hear me?” TK shook his head. “I asked if you wanted Tylenol or anything? The nurses said they’d get it for you if you need. They’d probably get you phenergan if you wanted even.”
“Nah, don’t need to bother them.”
Carlos softened. “Not bothering them. They would really like you to still be in bed. So…”
TK leaned into his boyfriend. “I’m fine. Really. I’m okay. I’ll rest tonight. We can go home later.”
“Sure we will.” Carlos smiled at him again and gave him a kiss through their masks. “Just let me know what you need.”
TK watched Judd. “Of course.” He didn’t know what he needed. “I will.”
Carlos seemed satisfied for now. They all did really. Everyone fell into easy conversations and relaxed. Random topics flowed between everyone. Grace’s parents came out from her room to grab a bite. Judd’s father soon joined. Everyone seemed to fall into the rhythm and seemed to get caught up in the moment.
All but Judd.
TK couldn’t look away from the man. Couldn’t help but worry. Everyone else seemed to be giving Judd space, letting him be on the fringe of the group. But, the man seemed up to something. And TK had a bad feeling.
Everyone began packing up the food and moving on to other things. Paul, Marjan, and Mateo started giving the leftovers to nurses and staff. Grace’s parents walked back to her room. Owen and Tommy were busy talking to Stuart, offering comfort and getting to know Judd’s dad. Carlos stepped away to make a few calls, still sorting out his final days of suspension.
TK was the only one watching Judd.
Thank to this, he saw the moment Judd made up his mind.
Judd leaned down and gave his dad’s arm a squeeze. “I’m gonna go lay down a spell.”
“You okay son?” Stuart asked, worry creeping into his voice.
“Yeah. Just need a minute.” Judd gave a fake smile. His father seemed to accept it, but TK could see through it. He knew Judd wasn’t okay. That the man wasn’t going to go rest.
TK stood up and made an excuse. “I’ll be right back,” he saiid to his dad. “Going to the bathroom.”
Owen nodded, not looking away from Stuart and Tommy. He slipped away and slowly moved down the hall. He could see Judd stepping up to a room. His aching brain recalled how the officers had mentioned the drunk driver being down the hall.
His heart sank.
Judd paused at the door, taking a deep breath, his hand on the doorknob.
TK took a similar breath, stepping forward. “Judd!”
The man startled at his voice, his head whipping up to see TK. “Hey.” He shifted anxiously, in a way TK rarely saw the man. “Hey TK.”
“Judd,” TK repeat. He stepped forward and sighed. “That’s not your room.” TK chewed on his lip. “What’re you doing?”
The muscles in Judd’s arm tensed. His hand remained on the door. “TK, you should go back to the others. I’m fine.”
“Doesn’t look it.” TK let himself lean against the nearby wall.
“Don’t,” Judd warned. His eyes met TK’s. “Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything,” TK relented, holding up his hands.
“Nah, but I know you want to.” Judd’s hand gripped the knob tighter somehow. “Go.”
“I don’t think I can.” TK chewed on his lip and pushed off the wall. He took a step forward, moving closer to Judd. “He’s not worth it.”
Anger flashed through Judd’s face. “The hell it isn’t. He could have killed Grace. He,” Judd’s voice cracked, “he may have.”
“He didn’t.” TK straightened up, despite the pain coursing through his body. “He didn’t.” TK gave Judd the best stern look he could muster. “Don’t do this.”
“He had no right!” Judd’s voice rose, making TK flinch. “You don’t understand!”
TK swallowed thickly. “I don’t. I can’t imagine what you are going through.”
“You can’t,” Judd snapped.
“But I know he’s not worth it. I know that.” TK felt his hands shake. “I know it.” He felt like saying he wouldn’t have been worth it. That he knew what it was like to fuck up. Maybe not to that degree. But he knew. He couldn’t. He couldn’t say it. “Judd, don’t do this.”
“He had no right!” Judd’s anger was growing. He let go of the doorknob and took a step closer. “He deserves to pay for what he did!”
“He will. He’ll get charged. He’ll—“
“It’s not enough!” Judd stepped closer, starting to crowd over him. “I need to do this.”
“You don’t. What’s it going to do, Judd? Let’s be real here.” He sized up Judd and stood his ground. “Piss off Grace? That’s all this does. Piss off your girl and give that asshole grounds to—mmph!“
Judd’s fist collided with the side of TK’s head.
It was not expected.
TK’s words were lost in the pain that explored across his face. In the deep ache that only built in his head. He fell under the force of it. His shoulder slammed into the side of the wall, connecting hard against one of the rough edges before he slumped to the ground.
Everything hurt.
He heard voices around him and soon felt hands on his back. He flinched at first before he finally recognized Carlos’s voice in the cacophony.
“Babe? Hey! Are you with me? TK?”
“Judd!” His father’s voice filtered through. TK had no idea how long he’d been laying there. If Judd had gone into the man’s room.
“Son! Grace is awake! She needs you!”
TK didn’t recognize that voice.
His head hurt.
His shoulder.
God…
“TK!”
“Babe?”
“Shit…what’d I do….”
TK couldn’t answer. He opened his eyes, but the lights hurt. His head just hurt. Everything was too much.
He closed his eyes.
They didn’t reopen.