Restart

It was a normal rainy evening. Most of the people were rushing to get home, to find a shade, a place to stay to shield them from the raindrops falling nonstop, waiting for it to end soon. Everyone is safe and doing fine. But not to some.

At an intersection, right beside a stoplight, a teen is lying down on the hard concrete. The rain continued to pour on the streets along with the body.

‘Very noisy.’ It really was. There are colorful parasols encircling the form. Lots of murmurs echoed as well as the pitter patter of the raindrops hitting on the parasols, trying to protect the one lying on the concrete.

The teen’s eyes opened, looking through the numerous ankles and shoes he sees while lying down, obstructing the view of where he is.

“I have to get up.” He mutters as he forcefully pushed his palms against the concrete, bringing himself to his knees, before finally standing up. ‘It’s blurry.’ He thought, seeing everything’s not clear. His uneven eyes would manage to focus soon. He tried to move, but everything hurts, as if he was pushed hard into the concrete.

“Are you okay?”

“Your head is bleeding.”

“We should take you to a hospital.”

The short sentences were repetitive that he was about to faint. But he kept himself awake as he staggers and feels the cold steel of the stoplight post. ‘Is it really hard to walk?’

He touched the left side of his head and it stings. He looked down at his fingers and found some traces of crimson, staining his hand. ‘I really did bump my head. Great.’ He leaned against the post and tried to take deep breaths.

He can say he is alive and fine, except for his bleeding head. He is safe, surrounded by people carrying rainbow-colored parasols, while he is out still drenched in rain. But he feels something’s missing. Like he should remember about something.

“Call…the ambulance.” He muttered, his hand pressed the bleeding part of his head, not caring the blood has stained his blue hair.

“Don’t worry. It’s on its way. They need to take you and your friend to a hospital right away.”

‘Friend? I…wasn’t alone?’ Thoughts ran into his head as he looked around, trying to find who are they referring to. Not on this pavement. Not by the stoplight. Not among the people around him.

But on the middle of the road. He noticed another group of people standing there, encircling another form. But there were traces of blood. Lots of them as it stains the dark colored asphalt, coloring the puddles with red.

No…

The teen left the post and ran, pushing the audience out of his way, rushing towards that area. He noticed the familiar set of clothes and the head. ‘This is not possible.’

He went down to his knees, right next to the smaller body. “Wake up. This isn’t real, right?!” He cried out, carrying the other in his arms. He noticed the one lying on the concrete is injured more than him. He looked at the puddles of blood and the wounds and scratches all over the body. He had been run over.

Then he remembers. It was a large vehicle, probably a van or a truck. Hit-and-run. But all he thought he was the only victim. But there’s another.

The other teen has his silver eyes opened halfway. He is still conscious, but not moving. His eyes only focused on one thing.

“This isn’t real, right? You’re not dying, right?” The blue haired teen asked, wanting the answer. “Tell me!”

A hand reached up and caressed his cheek. It was gentle, so different, so unusual. He was to get the answer. He clings on to the hand that is holding his face, feeling the warmth that is slowly getting colder.

He can’t hear it. The answer seems to come out in silent tone as those lips moved in small movements that he can’t read them.

Then a smile. The hand lost its grip, and those silvers have been hidden as the eyes were closed.

“Hey, wake up! Please wake up!” Mukuro tried to nudge the unconscious teen awake. No response. “Don’t die now. Don’t!” He tried to scream, trying to wake up the one within his arms. “Don’t die please!” He begged as tears started to come out of his eyes, crying like a little child. “Don’t leave me, Kyoya!”

o-o

“Are you not taking my life then, little bird?”

Mukuro asks as he looked around the abandoned warehouse, or what was used to be one. Everything turned into rubbish and broken down as the other teen stands beside him, carrying an intact first aid kit.

“It’ll be too unsatisfying to end your pathetic life just like that. I just want you to beg for mercy.” That sounded like a lie. The black haired teen sits down beside him, opening the kit to find something useful.

“You never begged to live when I did it to you.”

“That’s because I never beg.” Those eyes looked at him. “I will never beg in front of you.” But there is something hidden within those eyes. Mismatched eyes looked down to a roll of bandage the other teen tossed to him. “Treat yourself.”

He lets go of his trident, settling it down beside him, within arm’s reach, trying to wrap his wounded side. He felt his hands numbed. He tried to recall how long was it when they came here and proceeded to try to defeat each other, only now the one beside him won this time.

‘This little predator should’ve taken the chance to end my life. Why did he stop?’

The blue haired teen heard an annoyed groan. “What a child. Let me handle it.”

Upon feeling soft hands tugging his shirt up, he was surprised, followed by some smacking his own hands away as the one he thought would end his life is kneeling down, tending to his wounds. He chuckled. “Never thought to see you kneeling before me again.”

“You do want me kneeling for you, pervert.”

“I have never been called a pervert in any of my lives.”

“There’s a first time for everything.”

Mukuro looked up, staring at that wounded face slowly illuminated by the rays of the warm sunrise. There’s some blood stuck and slowly drying on one of the temples, he must’ve hit him hard to make him bleed. He reached his hand to try to clean it off…

…and the black haired teen flinched.

Their eyes stared at each other.

“You’re hurt.” Mukuro blurted out.

“I’m fine. Don’t mind this. Just don’t touch anything.”

There is something completely different going on. The skylark sparing his life is odd enough. But taking care of him was a whole other level. “Tell me the truth or I’ll enter your mind without your permission. Why did you not kill me?”

“The real question is: Why did I hesitated to kill you?” Those eyes looked back at him, standing himself upright again as he finished tying up the bandage. “You know I am about to take your life, but I didn’t. Something stopped me.”

“What stopped you?”

The skylark looked at the sunrise. “If we lived differently than what we are now, would we still fight each other until one of us falls? If we are not the same, would we end up as something other than enemies? If you were to turn back time, back to when we first met, would you do the same thing you did to me before?”

He was unable to reply. There are many, many possibilities of what would happen. But before the blue haired teen opened his mouth to respond, he heard a slight chuckle.

“What are these ridiculous things I’ve been saying? Of course, we both know the answer to the last question. It just came to me the moment I was about to give a killing blow to you. Isn’t that insane, such thing coming in your head the moment something’s going to be taken away?”

“I must’ve hit you a bit soft then. Should have given you a hard blow to knock those thoughts off your silly head. Maybe the next time then.”

“Aren’t you getting tired too? Trying to take my life as well?” Another set of questions.

He looked up and he finally sees it. The black haired teen isn’t smiling, not even angry. He just gave a rather emotionless one, trying to catch his breath after how long he took as well fighting and looking for a first aid kit. This little bird is tired, he didn’t realize it.

He actually disliked seeing that face. He knew something is wrong, only this time, it is related to their relationship at all. This long time and cycle of waiting, chasing, fighting, and recovering felt really tiring. Mukuro sighed, taking his trident and pulled himself up. “Well, if you are thinking like that, then likewise. I’m tired too.”

“What?”

“If you don’t want to fight me anymore, then I won’t force you. I don’t want to fight you as well. But I do want to see you again.”

“What do we do then?”

“Who cares? We can do whatever we like. No one will bother us anyway because they are scared of us after all.” He forced out a smile and he felt again the pain on the side.

And before he could fall back down to the ground again, he felt the other teen catching him, went under his arm, and became a human crutch, assisting him. “Fine, if you say so. But first, let’s go to a hospital before you’ll lose all your fruit juice.”

“Fruit puns? How lame of you. I would rather have you calling my name then, little bird.” He reacted as they started to walk out of the ruined place.

“Mukuro, if you want to hear me call you decently, you should call me by my first name as well.”

He noticed the black haired teen was looking at him, slightly pouting, as if he was teasing him as well. He shook his head and smiled.

“Fine, Kyoya.”

o-o

When Mukuro’s eyes opened, he only sees the plain white ceiling with a plain, glaring white light. He tried to lift his hand to cover his eyes, he found himself holding a red, silky piece of clothing. He looked and realized it was Hibari’s armband.

‘But where is he?’

He looked at his other hand and he can see the needle stuck into his vein. He noticed at the IV fluid bag hanging on the pole beside him. ‘How long was I asleep?’

Mukuro finds himself in a hospital room. He immediately tried to remember what happened to him before waking up. He was drifted into a past memory around few months ago. But then, there is something off.

Upon remembering Hibari’s face, he was reminded about the rain, the parasols, the blood, and his wounded body. The blue haired teen switched off the flow of the IV fluid and gets the tube off him. When he sits himself up, the door opens and there’s Tsuna and Chrome, stunned to see him awake.

“Mukuro!” The brunet reacted. “You’re-”

“Where is he?” Mukuro asked right away.

“Eh?”

“He is still alive, right?” He hurriedly gets off the bed, not caring the cold feeling of the tiled floor on his bare feet. “Where is he?”

“Mukuro-sama, you’re not yet recovered.” Chrome tried to bargain. “Take a rest first.”

“He’s not dead, right?” He’s still clasping the armband in his hand. “How long did I sleep?”

“Listen,” Tsuna spoke. “You’re still shaken, let’s get you back to your bed-”

“Then tell me where is Kyoya Hibari, or I’ll not rest!”

“He’s at the room at the right end of the hallway!” Chrome replied, trembling. “He’s still alive. But-”

No more words were needed as Mukuro dashed out of the room. All he wanted to know if he’s still safe. He can see the room. He ran, approaching those doors, while clinging onto the armband close to him. But when he burst into the room. He was shocked.

His eyes stared at numerous machines and tubes connected to the unconscious Hibari. His head is wrapped in a white bandage and all he can hear is the beeping sound.

Intensive Care Unit.

Mukuro can’t move. As it he was stiffened at the sight of the black haired teen’s condition. The sound of the machines makes him feel deaf and the sterile scent felt like it’s suffocating him. He kept his eyes on the one on the bed, unconscious, immobile, so distant.

He was about to faint when a pair of hands grabbed him, which one of those were marked with tattoos.

o-o

“We all know what would happen if he realizes Kyoya’s in a coma after what happened. Why did you tell him about the room?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t lie to him.”

“It’s okay, Chrome. You did well. But he already knows what happened. What should we do now?”

“I guess we should tell him now about what we know so that it won’t be much of a shock to him. Even he handled the shocking part well unlike last time.”

“Can you tell him gently? He is really hurt. I don’t want him to be sad.”

“Yeah, seeing someone like that in front of his eyes would make him lose his mind.”

“I’m still thankful he hasn’t burn down the hospital in rage after what he saw. He was about to faint when I found him.”

Mukuro can hear some little murmurs as he wakes up again. He found himself back in his hospital room, the IV fluid flowing into his needle, though he can see some of his blood flow out into the tube. ‘I must’ve been too careless about my condition.’ He scolded himself.

“I still don’t understand why he acts like this. It’s…”

“Tsuna, don’t ask about that part yet. It’s…slightly exclusive.”

“Ah, he’s awake.”

“What?”

The three other occupants looked at the blue haired teen in slight surprise as he slowly sits up again. Mismatched eyes stared at those worried faces staring back at him. “What’s going on?” He asked, a bit calmer than the first time he woke up.

“Well, we’re trying to ask the same thing to you.” Dino crossed his arms. Mukuro remembered the blond found him staring dumbfounded in the ICU. “You remember you got into an accident?”

“I am aware of that. A hit and run.” Mukuro nodded, trying to pull back his hair and his fingers brushed a soft, square bandage stuck on his left temple. “How long was I out?”

“Three days. At least you both manage to stay alive. You only have some minor injuries and that wound on your head. You were drugged to sleep.”

“Why should I be drugged?”

“Mukuro-sama, you don’t remember?” Chrome speaks up. “Everyone knows what happened. You were…wailing, clinging onto…”

“Um, you were crying while holding Hibari-san.” Tsuna continued. “When the ambulance came, you refused to let the medics separate you two. Even when you were brought into here, you were acting…hysterical.” He hesitated on the last part, a bit fright in his tone. “The doctors decided to drug you to sleep so that they can take him away from you. But they kept his armband onto you.”

“While you were unconscious, the doctors managed to save his life.” Dino added. “However, Kyoya remained in a coma for three days now. And he is still unresponsive.”

“Three days.” Mukuro reacted. “So they kept drugging me asleep for that long so that I wouldn’t know?”

“They thought you were insane. There were already complaints from other patients to bring you to a mental hospital. We took time to clarify every one of them that you were just shocked. Seeing your friend dying after being run over by a speeding van is actually traumatizing to you.”

To Tsuna and Chrome’s surprise, they didn’t expect Mukuro not denying one bit about it. They stuttered. “F-friend?”

“Yes, we are friends. Are you happy now?” Mukuro looked at them.

“But…”

“We settled our duel, fixed our injuries, and we just hang out somewhere no one can see. No one knew about it except us.”

“Ah…” Tsuna only nodded.

“So that’s why you both were on the same place.” Chrome realized. “You mean going out as in meeting him all along. Are you two really close?”

“You can consider that. We shared some secrets.” Mukuro nodded. “We bade each other goodbye before the accident.”

There’s a pause. Everyone in that room had no more things to talk. There are no more hiding since everyone knows already what happened.

“I guess, I should fix your discharge papers so that you can leave tomorrow.” Dino optioned. “And I have to consult the doctor about both of your conditions. Not to mention, I need to have information whether it was accident or just intentional to run over you two.”

“That sounds a lot of work. We should help-” Tsuna volunteered.

“No, you both go back home. And neither should stay here.”

“I agree.” Mukuro lies back down. “Maybe the others are more worried about you two than us.”

“Okay. We’ll come back to fetch you tomorrow.” Chrome waved as she gently pushed Tsuna out of the room along with Dino, leaving the blue haired teen alone in the room again.

Upon knowing the others have left, Mukuro stared at the armband that he kept on his hand. It was a bit untidy, crumpled as well due to his holding. He took a sniff and he can smell the rain and the dried blood. It didn’t cheer him up at all; it makes him more worried instead. He knows they are both alive but he’s the only one awake.

He closed his eyes as he wants to fall asleep again.

“Please wake up soon. I want to see you.”

o-o

One day has passed, he was finally discharged from the hospital. He easily recovers. Two days have passed, he can hear the rumors as he walked around in public.

“Did you hear? The scary Disciplinary Committee president is in a coma?”

“At least we can relax for a while.”

“That’s mean! I feel bad for the boy being involved in a hit and run.”

“Isn’t there someone else involved in that car accident too?”

“That weird haired boy. From Kokuyo.”

“Heh?! After all the attacks from that school, a student from there happened to be present when the accident happened? Sounds suspicious.”

“Shush! He might hear you.”

Mukuro pretended to be deaf, walking past those two women gossiping. He didn’t mind being the topic of the gossip, but it actually reminds me more and more about Hibari being stuck in the coma still. There were no changes at all. No responses.

Three days have passed, he started to take multiple visits at the hospital, trying to check Hibari’s condition. No changes.

Four days, he gets out of the coma. Out of the ICU. But still unconscious.

Five days, Mukuro feels more worried. It was as if he felt alone, even he is with everyone.

Six days, he didn’t go outside. He can’t get himself to sleep.

Seven days. He did get some rest. But he saw something in his dream.

o-o

“I’m here!”

“Where are you?”

“…”

He can see him standing at the end of the road. Giving a soft weak smile, raising his hand to give a little wave.

“Stay right there!”

“…”

He didn’t respond at all anymore. He just stared. As if he’s saying goodbye. When he stops by, they were apart by the road.

“Kyoya-”

“Mukuro…”

He can’t hear him, but he can see those lips moving. He can’t understand it well. It’s making him unease. Then a van rushed into the road, obstructing Mukuro’s view for a moment.

And when the van is gone, so is Hibari.

o-o

When Mukuro wakes up, he hurriedly gets himself dressed, runs out and rushes to the hospital. ‘Seven days, why did that come to me after seven days?’ He thought. The idea of that dream, Hibari waving and disappearing, made him thought something bad has happened. He didn’t like that feeling.

Upon entering the hospital, he missed the elevator so he ran into the stairs, he can’t wait for that time. He has to get to that room right away. ‘Please, be alive.’ He mentally begged as he sees the room.

And when he opened the door, he saw Hibari still lying on the bed, unconscious.

“Kyoya?” Mukuro asked, still catching his breath.

As he tried to even out his breaths, he sits down on the chair beside the bed. He observed the soft rising and falling of the other teen’s chest. He was relieved.

‘Still alive. It’s just a dream.’

But he noticed a quick movement of a finger and a twitch on the face. Mukuro sat still as Hibari finally wakes up.

“Too bright.” He muttered, rubbing his eyes and noticing a tube connected to a vein on his hand. “Why? What’s with this sticking on me? Where am I?” Hibari tilted his head and sees Mukuro.

“A hospital. You’re in a coma and unconscious for more than a week.” Mukuro replies. “You…got into an accident.”

“I see…”

‘There’s something wrong.’ Mukuro thought as he stared at Hibari staring back at him. Those grey eyes looked empty and emotionless; unlike the ones he is used to seeing. ‘It’s like…’

“Hey,”

“Yes?”

“Why are your eyes so…unidentical to each other?”

By that one question, Mukuro realized what was wrong. All memories were wiped away. All emptied. He just stared at the teen dumbfounded.

The Hibari he knew is gone.

o-o

“The boy suffers from retrograde amnesia.” The doctor consulted after doing a medical exam. “Due to the head injury that he got from the accident; he can’t remember events from his past. Supposedly, it should be the recent events before the accident, but the brain was damaged in a way that even the imprinted memories of his past are forgotten.”

“Will he be able to recover his memories back?” Dino asked.

“We have no idea about his condition if it’s only temporary or permanent, so his original memories may or may not come back soon. But don’t lose hope. Along with some therapy, we can recover his memories little by little.”

“Some therapy…”

“Also, with the help of people around him, we can initiate scenarios of his daily life. We can get him back soon.”

While the doctor continues to talk more about the therapies and other ways to recover past memories, Mukuro kept staring at the slightly opened door, looking at the black haired teen inside the room. The one he knew was suddenly gone. He would try to share the memories he knew to Hibari, but he didn’t know much about his past, not even the fact of invading someone’s head, so getting inside without consent is out.

Then he remembers. If Hibari remembers the first time they met, everything that they shared as friends would go vanished, filled with hatred.

He didn’t want it.

o-o

“So, he forgot everything?”

They finally discussed what is going on in an empty hospital room, away from anyone’s earshot. All of the guardians, excluding the cloud and the young lightning, were gathered, wondering why they are there until Dino explained what happened.

“Retrograde amnesia…” Gokudera echoed the name of the condition. “So Hibari can’t remember things before the accident.”

“But he will eventually get his memories back, right?” Yamamoto added. “I mean, every people with amnesia gets their memories back like in the teledramas.”

“The doctor said there’s a chance he won’t get his memories back. Like ever.” Dino recalled. “But they still have to conduct tests and therapy to check furthermore if it’s just temporary or not.”

“Then let’s just have to punch it back to his head then?” Ryohei optioned. “You know, hitting his head again?”

“Wait, no. No violence.”

“Agree.” Tsuna shook. “It might be dangerous. Maybe it would get things worse.”

“Unless you want Hibari to get more brain damage, that’s fine.” Gokudera added sarcastically. “Well, it wouldn’t be so hard, right? Getting recent memories back?”

“No, it’s not just recent memories.” The blond interrupted. “It’s everything. He can’t even remember his name.”

“What? Hey, how many times did he hit his head?” He asked directly to Mukuro, who was crouching on the edge of the once empty hospital bed.

“Please, no.” Chrome shook her head. “It’s not only Hibari-san who got into an accident too.”

“And I don’t know what you mean.” Mukuro spoke, catching everyone’s attention. “Yes, I am in the accident as well, but I don’t know how hard or the number of times he hit his head. I just saw what happened right after it, seeing him lying on the road, bleeding. Even I tried thinking back to when it happened, I can’t. Because I was facing away from him when it happened.”

“Didn’t know you have some affection to him.” Ryohei commented. “We thought…”

“Believe me, like most of you, I want his old self back. Even how many times he’s going to hit me. And I know you were surprised that he’s now…different.”

Everything’s quiet. Chrome just sits next to Mukuro, patting his back comfortingly. Gokudera approached them and whispered an apology in Italian. The others remained standing, silently wondering.

“Well, in regards in recovering Kyoya’s memories,” Dino spoke again, crossing his arms. “All of us must be patient in helping him retrace his past. He may not remember anything but he’s still him. We can’t have him stressing himself knowing everything all at once.”

“Maybe, writing down some important information about him?” Yamamoto suggested.

“That would be a great idea. But, there’s a problem. Any of you know everything about him?”

Another silence. They realized they don’t know much about Hibari at all. Like all seems to be hidden in mysteries that were never discovered.

“Biological parents, age, year of birth, his childhood, all? Yeah, he doesn’t talk about it.” Gokudera pointed out.

“Well, his birthday’s on May 5.” Yamamoto recalled.

“That one’s the easiest. We can just tell him his birthday falls on Children’s Day and that’s it.”

“Does his parents know?” Tsuna asked.

“No one can contact his parents.” Dino nodded. “I’m still investigating about that.”

“Um, how about the Vice-president?”

“He already told me all he knew. I jotted it down already.”

“Anyone closely related to him?” Chrome questioned.

“Well, there is someone who can help. Fon.”

“Ah! I forgot they are related.” Tsuna recalled.

“You mean an Arcobaleno that looked like Hibari’s smaller doppelganger?” Ryohei asked.

“Yes! He would totally help. But where is he?”

“Well,” Dino looked down. “It seems he’s in a mission and can’t come back as soon as possible.”

“…so, we’re stuck… Well, it would really help if there’s some records or journals or something.”

“That’s a good idea as well. We’ll figure it out later. Another thing to worry is who should watch over him in case he runs into trouble or any danger…” Dino paused and noticed everyone’s eyes looking directly at him. “What?”

“You’re the obvious choice here.” Gokudera stated. “It’s too clear.”

“Agree.” Tsuna nodded.

“Same here.” Ryohei added.

“Well, you sounded the most responsible around here.” Yamamoto commented.

“You were the eldest among is here.” Chrome added as well.

“…it’ll be much safer for him to be with his teacher.” Mukuro responded last.

“Well, all of us agreed. Sorry.” Tsuna apologized.

“I never completely expected you guys not to volunteer to take care of him at all.” Dino sighed. “But anyways, maybe it would be the best.”

o-o

They finally prepared the discharge papers for Hibari to go home. Every one of them were already present, waiting outside the door.

“Remember, to not get inside the room. I’ll talk to him first so that he’ll come with us.” Dino instructed.

“No problem.”

The blond took a breath and gets in the room, leaving the others outside, eavesdropping the conversation by the partially opened door.

“Hey, Kyoya.” Dino greeted. “I’m your tutor, Dino. I’m here to see you.”

“Okay. Tell me why are you here?”

“Well, we got already your discharge papers. Soon, you’ll be back to your home.”

“Home…” The black haired teen repeated. “But I don’t want to go home.”

“Eh? Why?”

“I hear some people outside my room. Talking how they don’t want me to regain my memories. They said, they are relieved that I forgot everything about myself. As if the me before the accident is terrible. If I’ll stay here, I won’t remember them at all.”

Dino sighed. Those gossipers should stop sharing those things, unintentionally hurting other people. “You need to be more comfortable in your home. And you did mention that you disliked having a needle stuck to you despite the fact it didn’t hurt you much.”

“I hate it.”

Somehow, the conversation sounded like how they would normally interact. But they saw those completely blank eyes, reminding that this is someone who lost his memories.

“If you dislike it, I’ll take you to your home so that you can rest well.”

“No.” A small pout. “You’re nice to me at least, but I…”

“Okay, maybe you don’t want me to assist you home, do you?” He took the hint. “It’s okay. I am not hurt. Now, who do you want to assist you then?”

Hibari turned his head to the slightly opened door, lifted his finger, towards a visible face he knew. Dino looked at where he was pointing and he understood.

“Ah, you want him?”

“Yes.” He nodded gently.

“Okay, let me talk to him first before he’ll take you to your home.” He nodded and heads to the door.

Meanwhile, the teens started to make some arguments outside the room.

“No, I’m not going there!”

“No, he seriously pointed at your direction.”

“How can you say that?”

“He did point at you. You’re literally the tallest one among us.”

“Agree.”

“Honestly, you can’t deny he’s actually looking at you.”

“Don’t be mad, he really chose you.”

By the time Dino goes out of the room and closed the door. He looked at Mukuro. “He chose you.”

“Let him choose anyone else but me.” He declined. “I might trigger his painful memories when I’m with him.”

“You know I already bargained him into going home. I can’t bargain having me instead of you to take him home.”

“What if I’ll bring him more grief or depression rather than bringing his memories back?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll assist you. For now, stay with him as I’ll ask the nurses to remove the IV needle off him. Then you’ll take him home. You know where it is, right?”

“I do. I went there a few times.”

“Okay, get in there and talk to him.”

Mukuro has no other choice but to accept it and gets in the room. He looked at Hibari staring back at him.

“Hey.” He greeted.

“Hey.” The blue haired teen greeted back, approaching him. “Is it fine for you if I sit beside you?”

“It’s okay.”

When Mukuro sits down, he still noticed Hibari staring at him. “Is it because of my eyes, isn’t it?”

“Hm? Um, they are really different. I can’t stop staring at them.”

“I have heterochromia. That’s why they are different.” Mukuro explains.

“And I guess, it’s not inborn?” Hibari asked.

“Long story. I would not like you to be bored while I’ll tell every detail of my life while you’re back at a clean slate.”

“Yes. It would be nice if I have my past memories back so that I could learn more about yours.”

“So, it’s not because of my eyes then?” Mukuro noticed.

“About what?”

“Why you chose me. Your tutor is more responsible and mature compared to me, why choose me?”

Hibari paused. “Promise me you won’t make fun of me or something because it sounds a bit insane.”

“Okay.”

“I have no idea, but when I first saw you upon waking up, I feel…like there’s a connection somewhere between us. It sounds weird but that’s what I felt. Like I could trust you or something.”

“I still think you still don’t know my name, right?” He asked, waiting for a confirmation.

“I don’t.” The black haired teen sulked.

“It’s Mukuro. Mukuro Rokudo.”

“Ah, should I call you by your first name then?”

“Of course.”

“So, I know your name, then what’s mine? I know I have been called ‘Kyoya’ by some here. What’s my last name?”

“Hibari.” Mukuro replies, as if in a whisper.

“Hibari…A skylark. I do have a nice name.” He reacted, smiling a bit. “I can think about what your literal name means but it’s…how can you be a corpse when you are still alive with me?” Then he laughed under his breath.

For a moment, Mukuro remembered that little laugh. It was something they shared before. That memory gives him hope he can get him back, but with a little fear of Hibari remembering their first meeting before the day they decided to end their duels for good. Instead of talking about it, he just smiled and nodded.

“Fine, my name’s amusing to you. Now let’s wait for the nurse to pull that needle off you so we can go home.”

o-o

The discharge papers took a bit long, and they finally came back to the place where Hibari lives. The black haired teen could only observe the clean walls and the wooden floors as he walked around the house. He reached his hand to trace the book spines showing on the bookshelves in the living room.

“Maybe I can remember some of this.” He reacted. “They seem familiar but I don’t know where to place.”

“This is your home. And you probably read most of the books in the shelves.” Mukuro said.

“Maybe if I read them all again, all my memories would come back.”

“No, you’re not forcing yourself to remember all of them at once. You have just been discharged from the hospital.”

“I know. But I want to be me, before I lost my memories as soon as possible.”

“You can’t speed up your recovery by forcing yourself.”

A smile graced across his lips. “Try me.”

Mukuro blinked. That expression is what Hibari usually does when he was trying to prove he can do something that is stated impossible. He was used to seeing that face after a year of ending their feud.

One year.

It has been that long since they became friends, meeting together while no one noticed, or even caught by stranger’s eyes. They didn’t care even if someone can see. But no one noticed them acting like that anyway. No questions.

But then, the memories were wiped away.

Mukuro hoped the Hibari who he enjoyed being with would come back, as the little traces still expressed by the amnesiac Hibari. The little smiles and laughter he can only see were his signs.

I feel…like there’s a connection somewhere between us.

He thought about this again. ‘What connection did he think about upon seeing me?’ He tried to fit in what it was. Friend, confidante, enemy, rival…

“Mukuro…”

He suddenly snapped away from his thoughts when he hears Hibari calling him. He forgot how long he was standing there, spacing our while Hibari walked around the house all alone. He berated himself for letting the black haired teen out of his sight. “Yes?” He responded.

“I found the bathroom. I want to take a shower.”

“Fine, just leave your clothes outside.”

Mukuro decided to roam around the house for a while, checking about anything that would help in regaining the lost memories back. He saw the garden is okay, slipped by the kitchen to swipe an apple that was perfectly ripened after a week of no one occupied the place and stopped by one room and noticed the door was locked.

“What does this room is?” He reacted. He checked everywhere and sees a window. It was a study room. Full of books as if a mini library. He shook his head and heads back to the bathroom. That’s when he realized something.

Clothes were placed on a pile, but the door is opened and wet footprints marked the brown wooden floor. The blue haired teen looked around to find a clean towel and followed the drips of water into the open bedroom. He sees the black haired teen nude and still soaking wet. He opened the towel in his hands and covers up the other teen.

“Got you.” Mukuro wraps the towel. “You’ll be getting a cold if you keep yourself wet like that, and even the window is opened.”

“I was looking for a towel. But you are not there.” Hibari replies, tugging the towel to dry off his hair.

“I’m sorry, I thought you had the towel. Must’ve forgot.” Mukuro realized he was actually embracing Hibari in a towel. Grey eyes stared at him in slight shock and embarrassment. He pulls away, letting the other teen dry himself. “You should need clothes.”

The blue haired teen opened the cabinet and pulled out the closest thing his hands can grab. A plain set of a grey yukata. He assisted on putting it on, even tying the purple obi properly. As much as he tried not to stare at the pale skin being exposed with the lack of clothing or even how he tied the obi a bit tilted than it was supposed to be, neither of the teens complained or say anything.

“There, you’re dressed. I’m going to-wait, your hair is still damp.” Mukuro reacted upon seeing Hibari lying down on the bed.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.” Hibari replies. “I’m tired.”

“It’s been a long day for you. You should get some rest.” The blue haired teen picked up the towel that was neglected on the floor.

“I can’t wait to recover my memories, so that I would know you more. I like having you around.”

When Mukuro turns to Hibari, the teen is immediately asleep with a smile on his face. He then picked up a blanket and covers the resting teen, patting the still damp black hair before closing the door gently as he left the room.

Few minutes later, he hears a knock on the door. Mukuro sees Dino getting in the house.

“Where is he?” The blond asked.

“Fell asleep.”

“That’s fair, he had just got out of the hospital.”

“Are you here to watch over him now?” Mukuro asked directly.

“Well, yes.” Dino nodded, sitting by the sofa. “And as for the accident, a man called me today. His name is Mr. Lee. He works at a café right near the intersection where…”

“Right. Where we got hit by the van.”

“It wasn’t intentional.”

Mukuro reacted. “The driver was found?”

“The police had him already. The driver surrendered himself after he crashed the vehicle to a tree. He cried how he hit you two unintentionally. He feels bad about it from running away in fear. And now he’s facing multiple cases charged against him. And that’s the end of it.”

“Now all we can do is to recover Kyoya’s memories.”

“Yes. For now, treat yourself for today. You need it.”

“Why?”

“You know, I have found out about something, about the accident. And I don’t want to be the one to tell you about this because I was surprised too.”

“No, don’t tell me.” Mukuro stopped him.

“What?”

“While Kyoya is trying to recover his memories, I’m trying to forget about the accident that took those away from him. And you heard the rumors, I can hear them talking about me. I didn’t mind it but it all connected to him and it makes me worry that…”

“Mukuro, his memories will come back.”

“How can you be so sure? The doctor even said, even you said there’s a possibility he won’t recover them back.”

Dino stands up, reaching a hand to pat Mukuro. “I said that. But he is still my student that I know. And he’s still the partner you know. He’s going to come back to us.”

The blond understood. As much as the blue haired teen had stained his soul after being dragged into many lives, he is still a teenager. He’s allowed to be sad and cry. He is also traumatized upon seeing what happened at that intersection.

Dino kept his mouth shut about the information he got.

o-o

Mukuro was given time to go outside. But instead of showing up naturally, he chose to be concealed with a hooded jacket, preventing eyes staring at him and hear the rumors. Word has already spread about Hibari’s condition, and he didn’t want to hear about it right now.

But he never realized he had stopped by the intersection where it all happened.

The asphalt is dry by the heat of the sun, the pedestrians walked by the parallel markings on the street that had the tiniest traces of blood that was not completely washed away by the rain. It has been days since that accident happened, it was still fresh in Mukuro’s mind. He stared at the stoplight where he tried to stand up after being involved in the accident. Nothing much has changed. Everything seems back to normal as if the accident never happened at all.

He gets inside the café beside the street and sat at the furthest corner, not buying anything. Not even a cup of hot chocolate. He just wants to stare at nothingness. But he can’t when he hears the occasional gossip about Hibari and he can’t let himself drift to sleep. Mukuro tugged the hood more to hide his face and covered his ears, blocking everything.

It was effective, that when someone tapped him on the shoulder, he startled awake and sees a middle-aged man staring at him.

“Are you okay?” He called him. “You have been asleep for hours.”

Mukuro turned to the window and it was already dark. He looked around the place and it was emptied with only him and the man as the only occupants. “I slept the whole day.” He rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t know about you, but you could really need something to drink.” The man goes by the counter and pours a cup of tea. Then he goes back and puts a cup above a coaster on Mukuro’s table.

“I don’t have anything to pay, you know that.”

“Not to worry. It’s free.” The man waved, returning to his area, a table with an open laptop on it and started to type. “I would like to make extra tea if some late customers come by. But it all ended up used by me when I write.”

Mukuro stands up, taking the cup and the coaster with him as he walked towards the man’s table. “Remove any formalities. Who are you?”

“I’m Mr. Lee. I own this shop.” The man introduced himself. “Always tired in watching this shop and writing novels. Why don’t you pull down your hood so I can see your face?”

Mukuro pulled down his hood and Mr. Lee recognized him. “Ah, you’re that boy.”

“I sense you know me.”

“Indeed.” Mr. Lee replied. “You’re with that young Hibari in that accident days ago.” He tied his hair into a neater bun at the back. “I testified myself as a witness to that incident. How was he after he saved you?”

“Well, he’s out of coma, but…” Mukuro noticed something. “Saved?”

“You didn’t know?” He sipped the tea beside his laptop. “I thought you know.”

“About what?”

“That young Hibari, he pushed you away from getting hit by that van. You’re only injured because you hit your head on the concrete.” Mr. Lee revealed. “Him, on the other hand, got hit by the van, his body thrown away and many times he landed on the concrete.”

The blue haired teen was shocked. He can’t say anything about the new information that revealed to him. “How can I know you’re not lying?” He muttered, eyes staring at the cup of tea and not to the man’s face.

“I was on the same spot every night watching out the street. And I saw from my own eyes when it happened. He yelled your name “Mukuro”. And everything went so fast.”

He can’t say anything.

“I was the one who contacted the ambulance. And people started to crowd on you two. I saw your horrified face when you saw him lying on the road, screaming when he lost consciousness within your arms. I was there. I’m just a simple business owner and a writer, and I never lie.”

Mukuro felt his hands have gone cold, even if he tried to warm them by holding the warm cup. “I, was supposed to get hit by that van?”

“Exactly. I told this to the blond who asked for information. Didn’t he tell you?”

“No, because I didn’t let him.”

Mr. Lee noticed the teen in front of him have become pale. He closed his laptop and walked to the counter, taking a phone, a slip of paper, and a ciabatta bread.

“Have something to eat first. You have gone through a lot recently. My apologies that a stranger like me revealed the heavy news to you. I’ll leave you alone for a while.” He placed the items on the table and left along with his laptop.

Mukuro ripped a piece of bread and ate it. His mouth had gone dry. He can’t get an appetite to eat. He looked at the slip of paper and dialed the number on the phone.

“Hello?”

“I know this is your number. I have found out about the thing you were about to tell me.”

“Oh, how do you feel?”

“I’m relieved that I hear it from someone else and not you. I would have killed you on the spot, thinking you were lying to me. But…it’s really my fault.”

“No, Mukuro, wait. That’s not what it means.” Dino responded through the call.

“No. He’s gone because of me. I should’ve been the one with amnesia, not him.”

o-o

By the time Mukuro comes back, he saw that all occupants have been asleep. He tiptoed across the living room, silently observing Dino is already asleep, his head rested on his hand, body leaning back to the back of the sofa. He didn’t bother to wake the blond, urging him to sleep in a better position. He felt, different. Like he lost himself after he found out he was the one who was supposed to get hit by that van. He didn’t have the strength to even torment Mr. Lee into telling it wasn’t true.

‘I want to believe it wasn’t true.’

When he opened the bedroom door and reached the bed, staring at the black haired teen sleeping peacefully, Mukuro felt the tears coming out of his eyes. ‘I should never cry.’ He tried to wipe his tears away, shaking his head, but they never stopped.

‘Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to get involved in an accident that was about to hit me?’

He lay himself down to the bed, arms reaching to press Hibari close to him. ‘It’s my fault your memories are gone, isn’t it? Because I didn’t notice the van before you did, now you’re here, forgotten what we were.’ He tightened his grasp, afraid that the other teen would vanish. ‘It’s my fault. Forgive me. I want you not to remember the terrible memories that I caused you. I want to have you back. But you might never come back because of me.’

“You’re crying. Is there something wrong?” Hibari asked softly, still sleepy and the warmth encircling him woke him up.

“Nothing. I’m not crying. There’s something in my eye.” Mukuro lies, patting the black haired teen’s head gently. “Just go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” And Hibari never said anything else despite knowing the other is hurt. He silently embraced back the one beside him and falls back to sleep.

o-o

“Who am I~?”

Mukuro tried to hide his chuckle, covering Hibari’s eyes as soon as he steps in the school rooftop. “You’re too obvious.” Hibari reached up, patting any body part he can find as a clue and eventually yanks the blue haired teen’s ear sharply, making the other yelp and step back, removing the hands covering his eyes.

“You’re too fun to be with.” He remarked, cupping his ear, thankful it wasn’t bleeding.

“I’m bored. I never even thought you would visit me.”

“I want to say likewise.” Mukuro smirked, now holding a tonfa on his hand. “But I want to play.”

“Mukuro, give it back to me.” Hibari demanded.

“Try if you can~” He teased the other teen, bringing the tonfa as high as his arm gets, making Hibari stand on his toes to reach his hand. “You’re so cute!”

“Give it back.”

“No~” The blue haired teen steps back further to prevent to other from reaching to him, but he found himself tripped onto something and he falls down to his back, tonfa thrown away from his grasp.

For a moment, Mukuro looked up to see Hibari chuckling in delight, retrieving the tonfa that fell to the floor and approaching him to proffer a hand. “Never thought you would fall to that.”

“You put the wire there for me to trip.” He accepts the gesture and he stands up, dusting his uniform. “I see you’re using me to test your knowledge for traps.”

“It’s fun to see your face.” The black haired teen steps to the side of the rooftop, leaning to the fence and staring down.

“I see it now why you liked this place so much.” He follows and does the same thing. “You can see everything here. It’s a place where you sort your thoughts. The cool breeze, the warm sun hitting you as you…you’re staring at me.” Mukuro noticed Hibari’s eyes on him.

“Ah.” Grey eyes looked away.

“Is it because of my eyes?”

“I’m a bit curious why you have heterochromia.” The black haired teen replied honestly.

“Is that so?”

“I only know they were not inborn.”

“That’s true.” Mukuro stared at the scene in front of them. “This was forced on me. To be used like a lab rat to create weapons. I have to become like this to change everything from this cruel world, even…hurting others just to get what I want.”

“I’m just asking about your heterochromia and I ended up hearing your life story.” Hibari commented.

“I’m serious. I admit, I like making other people suffer. But looking at you, there’s something sinking in my chest, reminding how I have hurt you the first time we met, how I was eager to break you, and now-”

“I’m alive, right?” Hibari interrupted. “Everything that happened back then is in the past. I hated what you did to me that time, but I can forgive you. We’re…just at the wrong time. That’s all. And besides, I like having you around. So, if you want to go and start a new world war, I would help you.”

“Kufufufu~” Mukuro chuckled. “That sounds so unlike you. Who are you and what have you done to Kyoya?” He mocked.

Hibari punched him to the side, also laughing as well. “Stop making fun of me.”

“Fine, I’ll stop. You’ll be there, right?”

“Anywhere you go. I won’t leave.”

o-o

When Mukuro wakes up from his sleep, he noticed the empty space beside him. He recalled that things are different now, not the same as his dream. He hears a sound coming from outside the room. He gets up the bed and heads to the kitchen. And when he arrived, there’s food on the table.

“Good morning.” The black haired teen greeted him.

“Good morning.” He looked at the food. “You should’ve wake me up so that you won’t force yourself to cook. You have been recently discharged from the hospital.”

“You looked so tired when you came back last night so I didn’t wake you.” Hibari replied. “And I didn’t force myself. I did this in my own will.”

“You started to sound like you.”

“Did I really? Based by your expression, I am not the type to greet good morning like a respectful kindergartener, am I right? You don’t have to pretend or sugar coat to make me feel better. I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to say that.” The blue haired teen shook his head.

“No. I’m now trying to remember everything. So that everything’s going back to the way it was before. I told you that.”

“And I told you not to force yourself in doing so.” He interrupted. “You are strong, but you still needed rest.”

Grey eyes stared back at him, showing a distressed expression.

“But I hated not knowing anything.” Hibari responded. “I tried, finding clues about who I am from this house from the moment my teacher slept. But all I can find are some photos in the frames, the sketches I found in my drawer, and a recorded message from my parents that they would not come back for yet another two months.”

Mukuro didn’t even know about any family background of Hibari. “How come you know but you didn’t tell anyone?”

“I had this feeling inside that…if I let myself like this, I feel powerless. I need them back, so that I’ll know I am doing okay. That I feel real and special, and not something that was cast aside.”

Flick.

Hibari was stunned, having his forehead flicked. “Kyoya, you have always been special. Even before the day we first met.” Mukuro said, now patting the black haired teen’s head. “Stop overthinking like that. You’ll only stressing yourself more. And that’s why we are here helping you. We all want you back. I wanted you to return back. So, if you cooperate, maybe it would happen. Is that fine for you?”

“…Fine.”

For a brief moment, Mukuro saw some emotion on Hibari’s face that he saw only a glimpse before. When he blinked again, it was gone, replaced with eye staring at the food on the table.

“Let’s have some breakfast first before the food would get cold.”

o-o

“Oh! The boy’s out of the coma.”

“That’s great!”

“But hear this, he forgot everything.”

“Oh my!”

“He can’t remember his own name when he woke up.”

“How tragic.”

“Should you be relieved? The demon is gone. Back to an innocent little kitten.”

“Shh! That Kokuyo boy would hear you!”

Mukuro shot a dirty look at those gossiping women as he aids Hibari to the school. He started to think that these women are annoying, and he tried to stop his urge to shut them up, permanently. His glare scared the women, running away and providing the way to the gates.

Upon entering the school, they were the ones standing out the most. An amnesiac disciplinary committee president being assisted by some student from Kokuyo. They can feel multiple sets of eyes staring at them as they made their way to the main door.

“Go back to your classrooms.”

At the front entrance, Tetsuya Kusakabe directed the remaining students into the building and stood up straight upon seeing the two. When he was almost an arm’s length away from them, he greeted. “Good morning, chairman.”

“Good morning. Ah.” Hibari reacted right after he greeted back. “That’s not what I should respond to a greeting, right?” He looked down to the ground, slightly embarrassed.

They were shocked by that response. Yes, it was not like his old self before the accident, but they are not supposed to make him guilty about not knowing what he would normally react. So instead of correcting, Kusakabe just let out a smile. “Don’t worry. It’s fine. No matter what happens to you, we will keep the peace of this school even at your state.”

“I think…I might never be the type to say like this, but after all the time you were there, I’m thankful I trusted you to be my second in command.”

“I’m relieved you are slowly recovering. You should be at the Reception Room and have your rest.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you at my therapy, right?”

“Yes.”

While Hibari stepped into the building, starting to observe at the nearby corkboard, Kusakabe tapped Mukuro. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure the rumors will be minimized and will never reach his ears. Our priority is to help him recover.” He whispered.

“That would be very helpful.” Mukuro responded. For the past few days, they kept Hibari in his home, trying to help him know about his daily activities. So far, he can recognize some people he usually talk to, but not thinking about their significance to his life. And they realize, letting him go to the school would be better to help him remember something as well. But they can hear the rumors the moment they stepped out into the public. Not to mention Mukuro has been feeling bad ever since he found out he was the reason why Hibari has amnesia. As much as he wanted to stay away from the amnesiac teen, he can’t.

He’s the first one he sees upon waking up not remembering anything.

He was chosen.

Hibari needed him.

All Mukuro wanted to do is to keep him away from the terrible memories for now. He holds him gently by the shoulder as they walked. He has to keep an eye on him.

It pains him to see the result of that accident and enduring every moment of having with someone who doesn’t know him.

o-o

The fabric of the couch, the clean windows, the perfectly varnished furniture, and the softness of the desk chair. Hibari took time to familiarize the room he took over last time. “It feels…familiar…” He reacted, hands reaching to the pile of papers stacked since the accident happened.

“This is your office. Even though you are still too young.” Mukuro shook his head amusingly.

“So this is where I usually sit?” Grey eyes sparkled a bit, grabbing the desk chair.

“Sometimes, you would lean by the window. Other times you are lounging on the sofa. But mostly, when I visited you, you would sit there. I even teased you that the chair is your throne, and you threw me a book.”

“Oh, I must be annoyed by your flattering words then. How silly.” He sits down the chair, leans his head over the desk, and hands reaching the pen that was lying nearby. “So are we like…friends or something?”

“Something like that.” Mukuro sits down at the edge of the sofa. “We actually had a…complicated history back then, ever since we met. Until we made up and we spent a lot of time with each other since then.”

“I see… I feel bad that all things we did got forgotten.” He ran his thumb onto the pile of papers. “Hmmm…” He lifted his head, staring at the papers.

Mukuro noticed Hibari clicking the pen and pressing the ink tip on the paper, and scribbled. It looked like he signed the paper.

“Oh, what are you doing? I thought you were a bit tired.” The blue haired teen asked.

“If I am in this ‘throne’ of the school, I should be affixing my signature here, right?”

As much as he wanted Hibari to just rest, he let him sign the papers. The twirling of the pen on those fingers, the swift movement of the wrist, the soft scribbling sounds came into his ears. He closed his eyes and he can remember everything from before. How he wished he would open his eyes and see that everything from that accident was just a dream made from his head.

He wanted to drift himself off to this fantasy, the illusion he created inside his mind, wanting to believe it wasn’t because of him the skylark he knew lost his memory. He wanted to think he’ll wake up with a scent of hot chocolate and some cake and the slightly worried expression along with shiny silvery eyes, asking him if he slept well the night before.

They always do this, until it was all wiped away.

Just like the sound paused.

“Hibari! Hibari!”

Mukuro opened his eyes again, seeing himself remained in the painful reality. He turned his head and he sees the little canary and a hedgehog right beside Hibari.

“I see you both know me.” The teen reacted, brushing the yellow feathers of the canary. “I feel too guilty not remembering both of you. Was I ever a nice owner to you?”

The two little animals nodded.

“Really? Do I…really took care of you that well?”

The little hedgehog crawled onto the turned over pencil holder and pulled out a small orange shaped plush toy. The plush itself is already squished and some punctured holes are already there. Hibari smiles, accepting the small gift and he noticed the stitching.

It was his own.

“I’m glad I was a great owner to both of you. Seeing you two, makes me want to recover more so that I can remember the times I took care of you very much.”

Mukuro steps out of the room for a while, providing a little privacy. Upon closing the door, he took a deep breath. He feels sad upon hearing those words. “If only I could…turn back the time and it was me, instead of you, who got hit by that van, I wouldn’t be feeling this pain.”

He looked into the room again, few minutes later, and he sees Hibari peacefully sleeping while his reunited little friends guarding him.

o-o

“I never thought you would be here other than your school.”

Mukuro noticed a slightly bored and sulking Hibari in the dining table.

“How did you find this place?” Eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Did you stalk me or something?”

“…Maybe?” The blue haired teen replied. “Okay, I’ll stop doing that and tell me what’s the reason you are in a bad mood.”

“There’s no school today. Then tell me why you are here.”

“Well, I am going to give you something nice.” He reached out a small violet gift bag, approached Hibari, and gave it to him. “Happy birthday.” He whispered.

“How did you know it’s my birthday?”

“I asked you about it and you only replied that it’s on Children’s Day. Well, today’s Children’s Day, so it’s your birthday.”

Grey eyes started to look at the ground in embarrassment. “I don’t even remember that conversation.”

“Hey, the celebrant should be smiling on his birthday.” He tilted the other’s face, enough so they are looking at each other’s eyes. “It’s your special day. Forget about school for once and find another thing that can bring a smile to your face. Forget the papers that piled on your desk and relax for a while. Just today, let’s celebrate that you existed.”

A little smile formed on the black haired teenager’s lips. “Thanks for this, I never knew you were kind enough to be here.”

“Just sit down and open your gift while I make you a cake.”

“Mukuro, promise me you won’t burn down my house.” Hibari mocked.

“Trust me, I am good in making pastries and desserts. You’ll love it.”

Hibari gave another smile as he opened the gift bag and pulled out his present.

o-o

Few days have passed again, and the rumors have finally started to dwindle one by one, out of fear or pity. For some reason whenever they see the once scary face became innocent and with no memories, made them think how sad it is if they were on his shoes. Not remembering anything. Not realizing why everyone’s eyes were on him. Not knowing why of all people, he had to be the one who experienced to have an amnesia.

“Good morning.”

Mismatched eyes almost tripped in surprise when he hears that voice that is so unused to say greetings like that. ‘I should get used to it, right?’ He muttered as he sees the black haired teen sitting on the chair, reading a familiar book.

“I see you picked up my present to you.” Mukuro smiled, noticing the cover.

“Maybe I forgot picking up this book. It’s still clean, as if I never used it much.” Hibari replies, gently turning one page of the book. “But as soon as I saw your note on the cover, I got curious and opened it.”

He closed the hardbound book soundlessly and opened it on the cover. It was a tutorial book on how to speak in Italian. There’s even some English texts in it to make it more understandable. And at the lower right part of the white inside cover, there’s the note.

I wanted to give this to you for your birthday. I hope you’ll

like it. I really know you like literature. I happened to see

you reading novels quite often. I am giving you this one as

a way to thank you that our relationship is now a

lot better than what we were before. And maybe someday

Kyoya, we would talk in Italian so that everyone will get a shock.

-Mukuro

“How sweet of you of making this note.” The black haired teen commented, smiling in delight. “I want to learn now because of this.”

“That’s great.” And in cue, Mukuro’s phone started to ring. “Let me take this call in private, so you’ll read in peace, okay?”

“Thank you.”

When Mukuro was out of Hibari’s earshot, he checked his still ringing phone. “Unknown caller?” He pressed a button and lifted the phone to his ears.

“Hello?”

“Well, remember me?”

“Professor?”

It was Verde on the other line. No one completely knows where his location is. But here he is, calling Mukuro out of nowhere. “I guess you know the rumors has spread your little friend got into a retrograde amnesia, even to my ears.”

“Yes, that’s true. Now why are you calling me?”

“Mukuro, to be honest, I do not want to contact you at this moment, but someone persuaded me to do so.”

“Mukuro?” Another familiar voice responded on the other line. “How is he?”

“He’s…fine…trying to recover.”

“As his relative, I have to say something to help. We were quite busy for months and I can’t get there as soon as possible. But I am willing to help in recovering.” Fon spoke in the other line, taking a deep breath. “You know the locked room in the house?”

“A study room.”

“Exactly. The key is hidden in the small wooden box in the table centerpiece right next to his room. Then open the study room. There were multiple journals belonging to him. I think that would help him, seeing the things he sees again in his own perspective, so that he would slowly returning back to being him.”

“Journals…that’s what we really need. I really appreciate this information.”

“Also, please take care of him. There’s a reason why he chose you to be by his side. But I don’t know as well. Maybe it was in those journals.”

“Fon, the line’s about to cut.”

“But I think I get it now. He chose you because-”

And the line was cut. The call was open ended. Mukuro was curious on the incomplete sentence as he made his way to the table just beside Hibari’s room. There’s a little treasure chest, sitting as a centerpiece. He raised his eyebrow, confused on how he missed this little silly chest after many times he roamed around the house.

He opened the wooden chest and found the brass key. He placed the chest back to the table as if nothing was touched and walked towards the study room. He slipped the key into the keyhole and turns to unlock the door.

Click.

He turned the knob and opened the door with a slight click. It was a normal study room at all. Bookshelves, a small desk with a chair, even some indoor plants. And the room was mostly illuminated by the large window, letting the warm sun rays enter the room.

Mukuro looked at the books. They were mostly classics. Old and rarely to be used even in a public library. But then, he looked down and he noticed dates on the spines of thin red books. The journals are there, completely safe.

“I bet this would…” He was about to sigh relief when he noticed the last journal at the end part of the trail of journals standing out.

“…work…”

There’s a cherry blossom charm hanging on it, along with the written Mukuro on the spine.

o-o

“Mukuro?” Hibari called him, standing by the doorway of the study room where the blue haired teen stands by. “Is there something wrong?”

“Oh.” The other was startled, realizing the black haired teen has stepped in the room. “I happened to find something that is mostly helpful to you.”

“Really? Is it in this room?”

“Yes. Do you happened to remember anything from here?”

Grey eyes wandered around the room. “Just…familiar. But maybe because I am so used to be in this room.” Fingers reached on one of the red colored journals and one pull, it was out of the shelf.

The dull red color and the absence of a name label makes him curious to open it. And when he did, he started to read.

‘May 5. Children’s Day. It was the day of my birth. As much as I see the little children happy running around and the colorful koi fluttering around, it felt a bit sad, knowing I have grown older. I survived another year. I ended up having a cake at the school rooftop, by myself, unlike others who would create parties. Yes, I’m alone, but I’m contented on what I have. I liked the warm scarlet sky. I liked how the fluffy clouds drifting by. I liked the warm rays of the sunset. I’m savoring the peaceful wind gently tousling my hair and staring at the home I am in. I will never forget it.’

“This…are my journals?” The black haired teen reacted. His eyes started to sparkle. As if he was about to tear up. “I can imagine myself in that day. I feel so silly, I have forgotten about it, even I said I won’t.”

“You’re crying.” Mukuro reacted, pointing out the little tears coming out of those eyes.

“I’m okay. Don’t mind it.” He tried wiping the tears away. “I’m just…happy you found it for me. You’re really helpful for me. Helping me to recover. I’m really happy…I chose you.” He embraced the taller teen beside him. It was very tight and warm. He felt the other one accepted the gesture and embraced back, patting the soft black hair.

As much as Hibari is happy, Mukuro felt a stab of pain because of guilt. He wanted to fix everything so that everything would go back to normal. Unlike Hibari, he wanted to forget. He wanted to forget that he was the reason why they were in this situation. As much as he wants to think it was all just a dream, it will never be a dream. But he don’t want to show it and he kept his feelings hidden.

o-o

It was a Saturday when they go to the therapist to monitor any signs. The first three meetings were doing well. Along with reading the journals, it could be possible for Hibari to recover faster, which surprised some of the doctors. Instead of rumors, it was praises that echoed all around the hospital while Mukuro and Dino remained sitting on the bench, waiting for the door to open up, and Kusakabe would assist Hibari out, along with some notes he took from the therapist. It was on the fourth meeting when Dino decided to speak up.

“Look,”

“If you are trying to convince me that I’m not the one who caused his amnesia, then it’s really futile.” Mukuro interrupted.

“That’s because it really wasn’t your fault. Consider the vehicle that ran him over.”

“I did. But still. I can think I should’ve been the one who got hit by that van, became an amnesiac, and I could’ve been the one in therapy and not him. Don’t you understand? I want him back but every time I see him frustrated to remember, it pains me. I could wish I would lose my memory like him so that I won’t feel this way.”

“And do you think we would like that?” The blond asked. “If it was you who becomes an amnesiac, do you think no one would get hurt by you struggling to remember? Count the people who would open up and help you recall everything. Your companions, Chrome, or even Tsuna would be willing to help.”

“They would but-”

“Do you even think, if you were the one who becomes an amnesiac, Kyoya would like that?”

‘Never. He would never like it. He might even beat me up until I remember everything.’

“By that silence, it means you know already that it’ll still hurt no matter what. The best thing we can do is to be there for him. And he really relies on you.”

“I don’t even know what to say if he asks how we first met.” He looked at the blond. “How can I say that I beat him up under the cherry blossoms, broke most of his bones, and left him in a sealed room to suffer?”

Dino paused. “If he asks, you can either dodge that question or tell him the truth.”

“How would I even dodge…”

Their conversation was immediately stopped when they hear something from the room.

“AHHH!”

Crash!

The two bursts into the room and all they see are multiple shards of glass from the once perfect table and vase, along with scattered flowers on the floor.

“C-calm down, Mr. Hibari.” Dr. Tateyama, the therapist, raised his hand in defense, arm protecting the clipboard containing the patient’s important files. Kusakabe was protecting the therapist as well, since the table was shattered towards their direction, from where Hibari stood.

“Are you okay?” The two carefully stepped over the broken shards, approaching the teen.

Hibari was shaking, as if in fear and traumatized by what has happened. As soon as he left familiar hands holding him, he collapsed, letting Mukuro catch him.

“What just happened?” Dino asked the therapist.

“I thought everything was going well.” He replied, adjusting his glasses. “We were talking casually about the things he read in his journals and suddenly, he got up and shattered the glass table. Must’ve remembered a bad memory.” He stepped on the glass shards lightly and approached his patient.

“Sorry this happened on our session.” The black haired teen apologized, eyes looking away in shame.

“It’s fine. I have seen worse.” He smiled. “We all have bad memories, they helped us shape into what we are today. Sooner or later, you’ll remember it no matter how much you ignore it.”

o-o

The therapist was so kind to even schedule another session for another week as if nothing had happened that ruined the furniture. A nurse even fetched a taxi for them to ride back home.

“Did I do anything wrong? Breaking that table?” Hibari asks, out of the blue.

“No. Not at all. You just too caught up in your emotions sometimes.” Kusakabe replies. “Some people do that sometimes in blind raw emotion.”

“Don’t mind about it. You didn’t injure Dr. Tateyama in some way.” Dino added.

“I know. But I feel something heavy inside me. Is that guilt?” The teen asked.

“It depends, what made you break that table?”

“I just thought about why I am mostly alone. Isn’t it insane?”

“No. What makes you think that’s insane?” Mukuro asked. “Others are just staying away from you because they don’t know you much as we do.”

“So, I know how we met,” He points at Kusakabe. “And I know how we met,” His finger pointed at Dino. “But I don’t know how we met.” Grey eyes focused at the mismatched ones.

‘There’s the thing he wanted to avoid.’ Dino eyed Mukuro, observing what the blue haired teen responds to that.

“It’s a bit…complicated.” Mukuro replies. “I’ll tell you eventually. If I am ready, I will remind you about it.”

“Thank you.” Hibari gave a tired smile, leaning back to his shoulder. “I would like to think we are really looking forward to that day we first met.”

Mukuro braced himself for the day he must talk about that event.

o-o

“Why are we here?”

“I want to show you something.”

They entered the familiar room in the still ruined building. The curtains were still ripped, the place is partly littered, and the ruined red sofa is still there, positioned in the same way as before.

“This is your place. Mukuro, tell me why we are here.” Hibari asked again.

“Remember the time you asked me if we lived differently than what we are now, would we still fight each other until one of us falls? If we are not the same, would we end up as something other than enemies?”

“If you were to turn back time, back to when we first met, would you do the same thing you did to me before?” The other teen continued. “Yeah, I remembered.”

“I never gave you an answer. Then. Let’s do it again.” The floors sounded a bit as he skipped towards the sofa.

“What? Do you mean we are going to do a skit?”

“Come on, it’s easy. You’ll stand there while I sit on there and we say the words.”

“No.” He stopped him. “I like how you attempt to do over our first meeting. That’s very nice of you. But even if we say the right words, we both know how this would end. Me kneeling on the floor, and you, taunting me whilst grabbing me by my hair. That’s how we met.”

“I wanted to change it. To a way we ended up as friends.”

“But I want the way we are now. Yes, I hated how we first met, but that’s it. I have forgiven you. No need for this. I’m fine.”

Mukuro stares at Hibari, dumbfounded.

“Now you looked silly attempting to do a skit about us.” Hibari laughed.

“You never told me you were just asking hypothetical questions.”

“That was implied.”

“Now, what do you want to do if we were still in that skit? Me standing here and you standing there.”

“You want to know? Fine. Just promise me, not to tell anyone, not to remind me of this. I will deny it. And no matter what happens, forget about it. Erase it from your head when it is over.” Hibari replied, clenching his hands into a fist. “Now, make an illusion of this room without any lights. So that neither of us can see.”

‘He’s going to punch me.’ Mismatched eyes noticed the tightened fists. “Fine.” He brought up the illusion and he caught a glimpse of Hibari’s face before everything is turned black.

With the lack of sight, his sense of hearing became stronger. And he can hear the shoes stepping on the floor, getting closer, and closer to him.

Tap.

Mukuro knows Hibari is in front of him. But he did not expect a hand cupping over his eyes. He suddenly can’t hear his surroundings anymore.

He had gone deaf.

He did not get punched.

o-o

‘September 9.’

Hibari stared at the empty journal entry with that date on the top of the page. It was all blank. Not even a scribble of a sentence on it. “Did, something bad happened to me?”

Mukuro walked into the study room and noticed the black haired teen looking so confused. “How long did you stay in this room?”

“Three?”

“You should get some rest.”

“If only I would know what happened on September 9.”

“What?” Now Mukuro is the one who got confused.

“September 9 in this journal is empty. I have not read any entries mentioning your name at all, so I assumed you know about this date. Did you know what happened that day?”

It took a moment for Mukuro to realize about the day Hibari is talking about. When he finally remembered, he took a deep breath. He’s ready. “Kyoya, maybe if I show you, you might misunderstand or even hate me.”

“Mukuro, why would I hate you?”

“It’s complicated.”

Hibari closed the journal, stands up and approached the blue haired teen, who was averting his eyes. “Mukuro, is this related to the first day we met?”

Mukuro looked back at Hibari. “Just promise me, you won’t hate me if I say yes, or I brought some bad memories of it.”

“Okay. I promise.”

o-o

As they walked toward the ruined building, Mukuro became nervous on what will happen if he tells Hibari the truth.

‘Please don’t hate me.’

“Your hands are too cold.” Hibari reacted, grabbing Mukuro.

“Oh, don’t mind it. We’re almost here.”

When they entered the familiar room, all Mukuro did is to watch Hibari looking around the littered floor and the dirty walls. No sudden reaction. “We’re here. Do you recall something?”

“No. But it feels…familiar.” The black haired teen noticed, looking at the red sofa where Mukuro stood nearby. “Wait, what are we going to do here?”

“Let’s do a skit.” He replied, sitting down on the sofa, staring down at the amnesiac teen. “We’ll act like two different people, having a conversation. I’ll help you with your lines.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll start.”

And they started the dialogue.

You’ve done well to make it this far.

I’ve been searching for you. Are you the perpetrator?

…something like that. And I’ll be making the rules of this town from now on.

Slowly, the lines were filled on, forming the event that happened that day.

Are you talking in your sleep? Namimori doesn’t need another set of rules.

I completely agree. Since I’m taking over, you are no longer needed.

That’s not happening…

The black haired teen started to sound hesitant after hearing the words he should say. As if he was scared on what will happen next.

Do you wish to die in your seat?

What interesting things you say. I’m sitting down because there’s no need for me to stand.

No more talk.

Suit yourself. It’s just that if you don’t talk now, you may never get the chance to do so again.

It is never a simple conversation. It turned out much more.

You’re sweating too much. Is something the matter?

Shut up…

I’m just worried about you. That’s all. Now, pull yourself together.

Grey eyes started to look away, the body started to tremble.

I’m over here.

Grey eyes noticed a pink petal falling down to the floor, just beside his foot.

I had to import them from overseas. You really are weak to them, aren’t you?

“To cherry blossoms.”

The illusion is up again. The pink flowers bloomed so prettily. The two occupants in the room remained their head up, staring at the flowers, not to each other.

“What happened next?” Hibari finally asked.

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“I don’t like the skit. It sounds, harsh.”

“I would be so surprised if you would like it.”

“But I don’t get it. Why did you make me act in it?”

Mukuro stared at the other teen. “What do you mean?”

“If you are telling me, that we met like this, I can’t agree to it. I just felt this room so familiar. But I feel that it was never a terrible memory.” The other looked back, shaking his head.

‘It was really a terrible memory. I just can’t say it right on your face.’

“And if that’s really true, it doesn’t even matter.”

“Why?”

“If we met in a different manner that what we really had, we wouldn’t be like this.”

The blue haired teen looked away, closing his eyes. He wanted to remove the heavy weight in his chest.

Tap.

Then he felt a hand covering his eyes.

No, stop!

He pushed the other teen away, who went closer to him and was leaning over.

“Ah,”

They were both shocked, Mukuro looked at his hands, pushing away Hibari impulsively.

“I see.” Hibari reacted, eyes looking down to the floor that was slowly filled with pink. “That’s not how I was supposed to act, was it?”

Mukuro felt his voice was taken away. He can’t say a word.

“Look, ever since I woke up and saw you for the first time ever since I lost my memory, I feel that there’s a connection between us. I don’t get it at first but being with you…it brought up something inside me.”

Hibari stared at Mukuro’s eyes, face full of a new emotion. “I really liked you. I don’t know but that’s what I felt towards you. Please don’t tell me that’s not a person like me was supposed to feel. I can’t stop it. I might even feel more different than I was supposed to feel.”

“Kyoya…”

“What if I won’t go back to who I was before? That all of my memories will never go back to me? Maybe…I could be a whole different person now because of the accident. Maybe, I could start over a new life.”

Mukuro was stunned. It was not only him who got insecure, but he forgot to think what Hibari feels. “Wait.”

“No. Don’t tell me. Based on your reaction…” He stepped back, his expression turned a bit sad, like he was rejected. “I know your answer already.”

Before Mukuro could stop him, Hibari ran away, leaving the room they were in. Mukuro felt his legs stiffened. He couldn’t move, letting the other run away.

“No, you don’t understand.” He muttered, staring at the pink camellias growing at the floor, mixing with the cherry blossom petals. “I think, you replaced your memory with something else.”

He will never forget the tapping of shoes on the floor, the soft hand cupping over his eyes, and the feeling of warmth pressing over his lips. He was rather surprised that the one who did it attempted to do it again, even in his condition.

“I can’t take advantage of you, never again.”

He sighed, closing his eyes again, wanting to chase the other teen, but he remained standing there, remembering the final traces of that memory.

That first kiss.

o-o

‘Someone holds me safe and warm.

Horses prance through a silver storm.

Figures dancing gracefully across my memory.’

“Mukuro, that’s a kid’s movie.” Hibari reacted, looking up from his journal and noticing the television screen.

“I never seen it before.” Mukuro looked back at him.

“Well same to me but I am not going to watch that.”

“You’re just doodling in your journal like a teenager.” He pointed the red journal the black haired teen was holding.

“That’s because I’m still a teenager.”

“Lame. I’m still a teenager and I don’t do such thing as writing a diary.” He said airily, teasing Hibari.

“Fine, watch what you like. Just don’t bother me.” Hibari relented, looking down and scribbling into the journal.

As the song continued to play in the room, Mukuro started to become curious what Hibari is writing about. He caught something Hibari wrote, and he started to speak.

“Kyoya, what are you writing?” He asked.

“None of your concern.” Hibari tried to ignore him.

“Are you sure? I can see my name written on it.”

“What?” He reacted, much louder than he usually does. “That’s not true!”

“Then why are you sounding so defensive? Come on, what did you write about me?” He reached for the journal.

“No, that’s not about you!” The other closed the journal and turned away from Mukuro.

“Why are you denying? I saw you wrote my name on it!”

“That’s a lie!”

“You’re still acting defensive!”

“You have no right to see what I wrote.” Hibari stretched out his hand, keeping it away from the other teen.

‘Far away, long ago’

“Did you forget that I can reach that journal?” Mukuro swiped the journal away from Hibari’s hand.

“Mukuro, give it back!”

‘Glowing dim as an ember,’

“Let me see it!”

“That’s invading my privacy!” Hibari tried to reach the journal from Mukuro’s hands, straddling him in the process.

‘Things my heart used to know’

Thud.

The journal fell down, none of the two teens left the sofa to retrieve it. They stared at each other in the eyes. They suddenly feel…strange.

‘Things it yearns to remember.’

It was as if the rest of the song was gone as they closed off the distance between them. They never fully realized the television was shut off since the remote was near Mukuro.

No one cared to watch the movie or picking up the fallen journal anymore as they closed their eyes and meld their lips together. It was soft at first as it slowly turned into passionate. It felt different. So new. That one kiss was only a one-time thing, but they are doing it again, craving for more.

“I thought you forgot about it.”

“No, you’re wrong. I will never forget about it.”

Hands started to caress each other’s bodies as the black gakuran top falls to the floor. They kissed again, letting their tongues tease each other. It felt so amazing. For the first time, Mukuro looked at Hibari as a whole different person. Not a worthy opponent, not as a friend, not a confidant, but something more.

It scares him.

He tried to take his mind off it when he bites down on the pale neck of the one who is straddling him. Their embrace tightens. Hands touched the soft blue hair as another set of fingers unbuttoned the white shirt.

That’s when he felt it.

It was tinted with pink, it’s flat, and soft when touched. It was a scar on the left shoulder, slowly healing.

“You’re…” The blue haired teen reacted, interrupting their little intimacy.

“Oh. It’s the scar, isn’t it? It wasn’t that deep, but it’s healing.”

“I never thought you can get one.”

“It’s the same as what you have, right?” The black haired teen noticed. “We did get hit on the same time that time.” He reached at the collar of Mukuro’s shirt and pulled aside, revealing a similar shaped scar. “It’s really the same.”

It didn’t look ugly, but the topic halted their little make out. Hibari buttoned up his shirt again, looking down, not trying to hide his reddened face.

“I guess the scars ruined our make out session, huh?” Mukuro sighed.

“It’s fine. We were just in the moment.” The other leaned his head onto the shoulder, where Mukuro’s scar was. “It was as if, we were connected for a while.”

Mukuro didn’t understand what he meant by that, but he embraced Hibari, slightly relieved. ‘I can’t take advantage of you, ever.’

They stayed like that until Hibari falls asleep, hugging and straddling Mukuro.

o-o

Over the next two weeks, they tried to ignore each other. After that day, Hibari started to distance himself from Mukuro, staying in his room for hours and only comes out when it’s a meal or they would go outside the house. The therapist noticed it as well, even though the teen is doing well in the medical tests. At first, they thought he’s turning back to who he was, but he’s too quiet.

After another week, Dino decided to talk to Mukuro in a café. He paid for a cup of hot chocolate for the teen and sits down without any word before Mukuro started to speak.

“Are you going to ask about him, right?”

“Yeah, it seems that something happened between the two of you that make you both…so distant.” The blond observed.

“I think I know why he chose me.” The blue haired teen picked up his cup. “I think you know.”

“He does like you. I can see it on the way he clings at you.”

“I think it was more than that. He was about to kiss me.” He admitted.

“Wait, what? Kiss?”

“He has real, romantic feelings towards me.” Mukuro sinks into the chair. “And I pushed him away. I gave him a wrong message.”

“What do you mean, wrong message? Do you really want it to happen?”

Mukuro gulped. “Promise me, you won’t take him away from me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Way before the accident, we…got to a point where we got curious about ourselves and…tried doing things couples do.”

“Did you two…?”

“No, we never gone all the way.” He shook his head. “I was the one that got distracted. We could have gone too far, but…that night I looked at him more than what we were. As someone who should be loved.”

Dino widened his eyes. “So you liked him?”

“But ever since the accident, I have thought I was the one who caused him misery. But knowing he liked me, I just can’t accept it even if I wanted to.” Mismatched eyes stared down at the cup. “I don’t want to take advantage of it, while he doesn’t remember anything about our relationship.”

“Did you try telling him how you two met then?”

“I tried. He didn’t believe me.”

“So now, what are you going to do then? Now that you both liked each other?”

“I don’t know.” He laid his head down to the edge of the table. “And what I feel towards him wasn’t even like…”

o-o

At the study room, Hibari closed another journal. “It’s like memorizing everything of another person.” He sighed, disappointed.

He let himself stay alone in the house, knowing he won’t get out. Everything seems so quiet. “I was supposed to be happy, right? Being alone? Why am I not happy?”

He stared at the spacious study room as he feels something heavy inside him. “I hate it. I don’t want to feel it. Why does it hurt? Why can’t I be able to go back to normal? Why…do I feel I am being punished?”

Tears started to form at the corner of his silver eyes. “I tried so much to be who I was. But all I did was to memorize. It’s not fair. I can’t even make someone to like me.” He laid his head down on the desk. “I’m tired of this. Maybe I should let go…”

And it was this moment, he noticed the last journal with a cherry blossom charm hanging on the spine. He started to play with it, and he stopped.

Mukuro

“It’s my journal, but why is his name written on the spine?” He reached onto the journal and pulled it away from the shelf. He opened the journal on the bookmarked part and started to read.

‘July 19. I met him again, asking for another match. But this time, I stopped. What are we fighting for again? He was the same person who broke me. But then, I hesitated. I should be mad; I should be ending his life. But I’m tired of this. He’s tired as well. We decided it’ll be a truce. We’ll stop fighting. I think, we are becoming friends now, is that what it was?’

‘August 15. I started seeing him more often. He’s fun to be with. I like it when I called him a fruit head. He teases me back too. I feel safe around him for a while now, even though we are very dangerous to be with. I like to be with him. I feel, happy when he’s around. That’s normal, right?’

Hibari noticed how short and light were the entries of the journal. He realized what the contents were. He started to smile as he reads the entries.

‘March 26. I prepared a trap for him. I knew he would come and play with me. But I can’t believe he fell for it. It’s fun seeing his shocked face upon hitting the floor. I am really convinced I like being with him. But something…went different. I never noticed I was staring into his wonderful eyes. Yes, they were mismatched, with the blood red iris on the right eye and the calming cerulean blue iris on the left. But I can’t help but drawn into it. I never realized how long I stared before he called my attention. Is there something more? I told him I have forgiven him for what he did to me, but I think there should be more. Maybe I should talk to someone about this.’

Little by little, he started to remember.

o-o

They never exchanged another word for minutes until Dino tapped on Mukuro’s shoulder. “Hey, do you want…”

“That’s it. I’m telling him the truth.” The blue haired teen lifted his head up, starting to leave from his seat.

“What? We haven’t even done talking.” The blond reacted, surprised by this.

“I don’t care. I have to see him now. I have to apologize for everything I have done wrong to him. Even I would go and do everything again.”

“Even he’ll hate you again?”

“I would do anything to have him back. Yes, I missed him. But he deserves to know everything about us. Don’t ever stop me. I made up my mind.” He left the café in a hurry, running away.

Dino didn’t move to even stand. He picked up the drink he kept untouched for a while, not caring that it had gone cold. “If only you knew what Kyoya really feels about you.”

o-o

‘May 5. Children’s Day. It’s my birthday once again. But this time, he’s there. He cheered me up, saying the celebrant should smile on his own birthday. He even gave me a gift. A book that teaches how to understand Italian. This feels nice, I really liked reading. I feel silly that I forgot that I told him about my birthday. He even baked me a warm chocolate cake. I have never felt this happy, even more than when I stayed alone on the rooftop on my birthday few years ago. Maybe I could surprise him for his birthday.’

‘June 9. His birthday. As much as everyone that was close to him celebrated, he even came to my house to see me. I found out they never got a cake, so I made one. He never expected that I am good in the kitchen as well, even though he knew I live mostly alone my entire life. The cake was pretty, even with a chocolate glaze and some fruits on top of it. I liked how he smiled like a child when he saw what I made. I even gave him my gift: It was an accessory set that can match some of his piercings. My favorite is the bracelet one, I actually hid one of my buttons of my uniform onto the design of the bracelet. It wasn’t that much, can’t rival against his present to me. But he’s still happy and embraced me, I made him happy.’

‘June 20. I realized the note he wrote on the book he gave me formed a message. Is this real? Should I be excited about this? Maybe it would bring up my feelings towards him that I can’t put a finger on it.’

He continued flipping the pages. He started to remember the things happened in those days. It was different from what he was reading from the other journals.

‘September 9. He invited me back to the abandoned building where he lived. The same place we met. The same place where he broke me. The place where it all began. If we lived differently than what we are now, would we still fight each other until one of us falls? If we are not the same, would we end up as something other than enemies? If you were to turn back time, back to when we first met, would you do the same thing you did to me before? Those exact words played into our heads. I don’t want to repeat it anymore, neither does he. Instead of playing along with that skit, I let him turn the room into darkness and I gave him a kiss. It was my first, right? It felt so wonderful, all parts of me felt it. I am sure these feelings are so new to me. I want to feel it again, hopefully not covering his eyes to prevent him from seeing me kissing him. But I wished he would forget it.’

‘September 20. I invited him into my home. We weren’t doing much that time. Just me, writing here, and him, watching some childish show. What could I say? ‘Mukuro, we need to talk.’ It looks easy, but it wasn’t.

He tried taking this journal to read it. He might misunderstand. I have to take it away from him. He should never know this confusion I am having. Before I knew it, we were kissing, with me sitting on his lap. We forgot about anything around us. I liked how he touched me, his hands caressing my body and it made me sink into his touches. I suddenly felt scared. We might lose our virginities in a moment. I was relieved when he distracted himself with our matching scars. Yes, we didn’t move ahead from our moment but it made clear on what I feel about him. I am developing strong feelings for him more than like.’

‘September 25. I am writing this because I am going to confess. Tomorrow, we are going out as friends. We were invited to a party. Then he told me he wants to see the café he found at the intersection. I hope before we part ways there, I would be able to tell him. No, I will tell him.’

Tears flow from silver eyes upon reading the last page, the mostly emptied one with only one written entry.

o-o

“I really have fun on that party.”

“Really?”

The two teens were walking on the way to the intersection, the night sky covered with dark clouds with no star in sight.

“Of course. Everything chaotic is my delight.” Mukuro smiled as cheerful as always.

“You’re weird sometimes.” Hibari shook his head, hands hidden into his pockets.

“Yeah, but why did you punch that waiter who kept serving me food?”

“Didn’t you see how he ogle his eyes at you? He’s definitely hitting on you!”

“Yeah, deny all you want, you’re jealous with the attention on me, rather than you.”

They continued walking, Hibari occasionally trying to say something but no voice came out. Eventually, they saw the intersection. ‘I think I missed the chance when I got mad.’ The black haired teen sighed.

“Here we are. You’re okay going home alone?” Mukuro asked him.

“I’m okay.”

“Thanks for making my day. I’m really glad I have you.”

“Likewise.” Grey eyes stared only at him. He tried opening his mouth to say something more, but he shook his head.

“Kyoya, is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing. See you tomorrow then.” He smiled.

“Okay, see you tomorrow.” The rain started to fall. “Oh, it’s raining. Go home quickly now or you’ll get sick.”

“Same to you.”

Hibari goes to the other way, running. Mukuro proceeds to cross the pedestrian lane, lifting his jacket up as a hood. It rained harder so suddenly.

The sound of the raindrops hitting his body was loud, and he can only see what’s in front of him. But Hibari turned his head to see the speeding van, drifting towards the not empty pedestrian lane.

“Mukuro?” He muttered, turning around, and running towards the pedestrian lane.

“Mukuro!” He screamed as the van was about to reach…

…and his world spun around. He falls and hits the ground multiple times, losing count how many. He can only see the raindrops hitting the asphalt, coloring the water crimson red.

‘I got hit?’

“Someone’s injured!”

Hibari can hear random people screaming as they saw him lying in the middle of the road. ‘I can’t move. Am I bleeding?’

“Call the ambulance!”

‘Is he okay?’

He didn’t mind about his situation, but he was worried of someone else. He can see multiple people with colorful parasols encircling him.

“Out of my way!”

‘He’s alive…’ He kept his eyes open but he still can’t move his body.

“Wake up. This isn’t real, right?!”

He can see the one he saved went down to his knees, right next to his body. He cried out, carrying him in his arms. He has his silver eyes opened halfway. He is still conscious, but not moving. His eyes only focused on one thing.

‘You’re alive. I’m glad I made it on time.’

“This isn’t real, right? You’re not dying, right?” The blue haired teen asked, wanting the answer. “Tell me!”

His hand reached up and caressed his cheek. It was gentle, so different, so unusual. ‘I’m sorry, I have to save you. But it seems…I might not be able to make it.’

He can feel warm hands holding his. ‘If only, I have a chance, I could tell you that I love you. I really love you. Is this what love feels like? Being happy with you?’

He can see Mukuro’s tearing up. Holding onto his body that’s slowly bleeding out. ‘I’m sorry, I think we may not get the happiness we both wanted. But at least I am able to make you feel loved, right? Did you…even love me the same as I did, Mukuro?’

He smiled, as everything he sees becomes a blur, and he lost consciousness.

o-o

Mukuro was exhausted from running when he arrived at the house. He is really determined to tell everything. He picked up the armband he had kept for weeks and sighed. “No matter what happens. I’ll have to be there for him.”

He tucks the armband into his pocket and made his way to the study room. That’s when he hears a soft sobbing. He opened the door and he sees Hibari, holding the journal, crying.

“Kyoya?” He called him. “Is there…something wrong?” He looked at the journal and he realized what it was.

Hibari turns to Mukuro, smiling with a familiar smile while tears rolled down to his cheeks. “Mukuro, I can remember everything…” His tears dropped to the open journal, which revealed the last entry.

‘I love you, Kyoya. And I hope you would feel the same as well.’

“I can remember now. Everything. It came back to me and made me realize why I wanted to be with you. I’m sorry-”

Mukuro rushed to pull Hibari into a tight embrace. The journal fell down, forgotten. “No, I’m sorry. I’m the one who made you lose all your memories.” He started to cry as well. “It’s my fault. If I wasn’t in the way, you wouldn’t get yourself hit by the van.”

“No, I should’ve found it out sooner, I could’ve warned you. I could’ve made you stay and continue our conversation because I really do want to say I love you.”

They pulled away to see each other’s faces. “You do?” Mukuro reacted.

“Yes, I love you, you insecure fruit.” They laughed a bit, making a fool of themselves. “How funny we look like when crying?” The black haired teen shook his head, trying to wipe his tears. “I don’t feel like myself when crying.”

“It’s okay.” Their heads are pressed together. “Everything’s going to be okay now, right?”

“Hmm…I love you.” He said it again.

“I love you too.”

It was like, all of their worries and doubts were washed away from that kiss.

o-o

“Hello?” Tsuna called from the outside of the house. “I brought some fruit.”

“Tsuna, why are you here?” Dino saw him standing by the gate.

“I was getting worried by…everything. And I think the house is empty?”

The blond noticed the gate was open. “No, wait. Come with me inside.”

“Is that okay? They might get mad.” The brunet panicked.

“Nope.”

When the two got in, everything was the same. But there are no people inside. They looked at every room and saw no one was there.

“Strange.” Tsuna found Dino in the study room. “Maybe something bad happened to them.”

“Nope. Don’t worry.” Dino shook his head. “I think, something good happened.” They stared at the almost untouched room, except one of the journals were opened on the floor, with another entry written on it.

‘I’m home.’

o-o

The sun is already setting down, creating a beautiful swirl of scarlet in the sky, complimenting the soft, fluffy clouds. The two teens stayed at the rooftop of the school.

“I missed looking at this scene.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No, just stay here. It makes it…you’re looking at me, right?”

Mukuro remained staring at Hibari this time. “My bad. I just really missed you.”

“Missed me being like this?”

“But I do agree on one thing. You are not the same as before.”

“Why?”

Hibari felt an arm draped across his shoulder, pulling him closer to Mukuro. There were no words spoken afterwards. They ended up staring at the scene in front of them. Hibari understood what he meant, smiled as he leaned to Mukuro, and closed his eyes, feeling the cool breeze and the warmth of an embrace.

“I’m home…”

o-o-o

Notes:

Oh, on one of the flashbacks, try playing 'Once Upon a December' and following the lyrics as the scene flows until the journal falls. Apparently, the television is showing Anastasia and I just liked to put it there~

Actions

Kudos

Marry_Weld, Cheshire04, R_Yukato, Mashotu, NagisaShun, Luyobox, Gert68, Akiikaze, Twirling_Quill_Pen, morg_nix, Owlweaboo, Ja_Hi, pilongski, Dru_the_agender_god, AnnPatata, SilverCat07, hand_ler, RyuuLusca13, aristhelab, Luna2718, Tenebris_Mortiferum, Hwanw00ngsLeggs, AstoriaValdez, ner0w0w0, and emerald_hill as well as 21 guests left kudos on this work!

Archive of Our Own

Actions

Work Header

Restart

6918Sakura_Addicted

Summary:

Notes:

Work Text:

Notes:

Actions

Kudos

Comments

Footer

About the Archive

Contact Us

Development