Work Text:
Ivy
— 2006. Koganei Estate.
Even though you were the most beloved daughter of the house, you were still one of the last people who knew of your father's passing. In no means was it sudden since you knew he harboured an illness that slowly chipped off on his golden well. Once a core erodes from the inside, no amount of healing can restore it. Not even you could, even though you were your clan's most prized healer now, and no amount of dancing or crying of your golden tears from Kin'iro no me will bring your father back from the grave, not when the embers of his life had been snuffed out completely.
Word of his death spread quickly in the jujutsu community. He was a well-loved leader, a well-known family man who took pride in his most immediate family, a well-cherished ally of many minor sorcerer families such as yours, and a subordinate who will surely be missed by the leaders of the Big Three Sorcerer Families.
An immediate family gathering was called after your father's death was confirmed and it was surely to announce your brother's accession as the new clan head. He had trained years for this and has felt the heaviness of the weight of an invisible crown even in his own childhood, but no matter how prepared he was, he still felt like it wasn’t enough.
"I still had so much more to learn from him," you recall him telling you and your mother. "There was still so much more I had yet to see."
And yet there he stood before everyone in the Koganei clan, a newly-made king whose iron has yet to be tested. He was only 20, too, and he had just come of age— one of the new bloods in the sorcery hierarchy— but in his arsenal was your family's inherited technique— and that enough made him a prized asset in the jujutsu community. The clansmen referred to your brother as leader— the title held by your father for the longest time— and it sent chills down your spine knowing that such a young soul would hold onto an ancient thing.
One of your uncles who acted as the de facto clan leader droned off in the middle of the meeting room and you were too dazed to pay him enough attention. They were right when they said no amount of preparation can truly make you ready for such tragedies. Your eyes were still pretty red from all the crying you did earlier this morning, but you've calmed down now— you've cried a river yet he remained cold and unmoving.
It was only when your mother squeezed your hand that you looked up from the yellow chrysanthemums printed on your yukata.
"As your brother begins his search for the most appropriate bride, you will stand by his side as the Lady of the Koganei house for the meantime, ojou-sama."
"Oh…"
With your father dead and your brother inheriting leadership of your clan, it was only right that you would fill the station of the Lady of the Koganei house until he finds a most appropriate bride for himself.
As indicated in his will, your father left your immediate family a wealth of fortunes and goods that no other members were entitled to, one of which was his most favourite set of crystal citrine juzu beads that often hung on his dark-coloured hakama. You could still sense a bit of his cursed energy on the object, just enough to make it a tool— obviously passed onto you as a means of protecting yourself. The thought of your father still wanting to protect you even from beyond the grave made your eyes tear up.
Clansmen and close friends from both inside and outside the jujutsu community poured into the Koganei estate to take part in his tsuya. Your brother now played the active role of clan head, which meant greeting guests and accepting their condolences, and you stood beside him as the Lady of the Koganei house.
The tsuya was held in one of the estate's many gathering halls, an assortment of white and gold-coloured flowers arranged neatly around the late clan head's portrait. Family and guests in black came and went, sitting on the golden tatami to say short prayers for his voyage to the afterlife. The incense was kept lit by your mother, who sat dutifully before her husband's portrait.
She held a single yellow chrysanthemum in her hands as she sat quietly, only looking up whenever you had to present yourself to guests just to be sure that you were acting according to the role you've been given, one that she held for most of her life as well.
You were glad to play the part of your brother's accessory on this particular night since it meant recognition for himself— and for you as well, seeing as you were trying to make a name for yourself in a field much farther from sorcery.
It was no secret in the jujutsu community that the Koganeis possessed a much-coveted reverse cursed technique. Your clan has long been associated and designated as healers by channelling their cursed energy through Kin'iro no me— the golden eye, and using Kintsukuroi, or golden repair— to heal, cure and patch up injured people and sorcerers who come knocking at your doors. While your brother used it as his leverage in the sorcery world, you, on the other hand, simply wanted to soothe troubled minds and spirits.
Your train of thought was interrupted when your brother softly nudged your side, prompting you to look up from your oddly frayed mofuku sleeve. Before you bowed four young men in black uniforms which you recognised as attire from Tokyo Jujutsu High, one of whom was a face most familiar to you.
"I am deeply sorry for your loss, Koganei-sama," said the boy in front of the group, a head of silver hair rising to meet your gaze.
"Satoru?…"
Silver lashes fanned out even underneath his dark sunglasses. It was the young head of the Gojo clan.
"Yo, Otome," he said with a small smile. "How have you been?"
Upon your family's urging, you were designated to receive the young master and his companions into a separate guest room after they paid their respects. The other three were quiet as you spoke to the ringleader, hearing from Satoru that they came there without permission and had to be back on campus at a certain time.
"No wonder they look so clueless, Satoru," you elbowed him as you walked along the more quiet part of the estate. You could tell that the group was observing you rather curiously given your odd appearance for what was supposed to be a funeral.
Atop your head was a yellow chrysanthemum kanzashi, along with a number of ogi bira kanzashi that swayed in every way you did, catching light in all directions. While the rest of your family were in their traditional mofuku, they required you to wear your hair up with your ornate embellishments and yellow chrysanthemums, as though you were not in a state of mourning.
"Ah… I know I hardly look like I'm mourning, but I think even you know that this is how we do things here. Apart from seeing off otou-sama, the guests also came for a show."
The three boys behind you exchanged curious glances. A show?
"Shall I indulge you and your friends, Satoru?" You said with a small laugh as you led them into an empty guest room, a single clansman with a shamisen in hand seated in the corner. Servants in dark mofuku entered the room afterwards with trays of tea and small plates of dessert for your guests who took their seats right in the middle, gathering around you and Gojo, who finally introduced you to everyone.
"This is Otome. You heard how the people here call her the lady of the Koganei house. She's a friend of mine and we go way back."
"One of his former top wife candidates," you replied jokingly, an index finger raised to silence him. "But I don't particularly like Satoru and I especially don't like competitions, so I simply had to give way. I did myself a favour since he didn't seem like the settling type, to begin with."
A hearty laugh quickly left the mouth of the one who kept his dark hair in a bun. "What?! Seriously?! Married?!"
"Shut it, Suguru—"
As the pair bantered, you turned your attention to the two other boys who sat and sipped their tea quietly. "I assume you two are also Satoru's classmates?"
"Ah, no! He's actually our senpai!" One of the brunettes answered.
"Oh, so you're first years, then? That makes us the same age," you told them with a smile.
The first one to speak was named Haibara Yu, and he took the liberty of introducing himself and the blond-haired Nanami Kento, who didn't even bother to look up from his cup of tea as he shot a short nod towards you.
"We're not entirely sure why he brought us with him, Otome-san. It seems like a bad time, too, seeing as it's a funeral."
"I'm sure Satoru came here to convince me to enroll. He does that at least once a year," you said with a chuckle. "But with my father dead and my brother inheriting leadership of the clan, it's only right that I fill the station of the Lady of the Koganei house until he finds himself a most appropriate bride. But might you have any suggestions as to how I can actually leave? And what kind of role I'll play if I do end up enrolling at Tokyo Jujutsu High?"
"Surely that'll depend on what kind of cursed technique you have, Otome-san," Haibara went on. "From the looks of things, you're from a pretty influential clan! You must have an inherited technique of sorts."
"Ah, well…" You managed a sheepish reply, a hand on your nape as you tried to find the right words to describe your clan. "We're not really a… fighting kind of clan. I'm sure you've heard of the Zenins, the Kamos and the Gojos. We're nothing like those."
Curiously, the blond now had his eyes on you as you tried to put your technique into words, but you figured it would be better to show rather than tell.
"Please allow me," you stated with a smile. "I must do it as thanks. It would be such a shame that you came all the way here— without permission, no less— just to pay your respects to a man you hardly knew."
You turned to your clansman in the corner of the room and gave a short nod, to which he picked up his instrument and started softly plucking at the strings before bringing in his bachi. Gojo and Geto had finally quieted down as they heard the gentle sound from the instrument and the soft, padded steps you took on the tatami as you got on your feet. Your knees were bent to a slight tilt as you raised your hand with a soft flick of your wrist.
You pulled out your favourite paper fan from underneath your obi and softly unfurled it, light dancing on the intricate golden patterns printed on it.
It was a basic, traditional dance taught to you by your grandmother at an early age. You kept your eyes lowered as you moved to the beat of the strings. The sleeves of your mofuku followed your every sway and move, your ogi spinning as you twisted your right wrist before finally bringing it over your face.
"Come, Suzaku," you murmured under your ogi. From behind you emerged a strong gust of cursed energy in the form of a large flaming bird, its wings and feathers seemingly made of plumes of red and golden fire. It perched on your shoulders as you took a side step to spin, its wings spread over your audience rather menacingly.
From your short glances, as you moved and swayed to the rhythm of the single instrument, you could see the bewildered and mystified expressions of the young men, and an amused smile from the silver-haired devil himself, as they basked in the healing energy you sought to share with them.
The wide-eyed Haibara gave your short performance a hearty applause, the rest of the group following suit with less enthusiasm. However, there was no lack in their fascination with your cursed technique as they felt every ache and every knotted joint in their bodies be soothed and straightened out.
"Somehow I feel like I can take on a whole army of curses," said Haibara. "Was that your cursed technique, Otome-san?"
"Let's not go there, Haibara," Geto said with a laugh.
"Come now, Otome. Your family has a lot of great sorcerers to spare," said Gojo as he sat back on the tatami floor. "Won't you consider joining us at Tokyo Jujutsu High? I'm sure it'll boost the morale of our adorable kouhai here."
"You know they aren't letting me go unless there's a proposal on the table, Satoru," you took your seat beside him. "Even if you ask nicely."
"We don't need a morale boost. We need people who can handle themselves in the heat of battle with curses," the blond stated rather point blankly. "If hime-sama can't fight, I don't really see a point in her taking up studies at Jujutsu High."
"Oh, he called me hime-sama," you raised your sleeve to your lips to hide a forming smile. "I can forgive Kento-san for being mean since he's pretty cute, but he's right about that, Satoru. Jujutsu is a serious thing, especially since lives are involved."
"What? It's not like we can't use good healers like you— Ow. What is it, Suguru?"
"Thanks again for accommodating us, Otome-san, but we need to get going," Geto told you as he held out one of his hands to you, the other he used to nudge his friend quiet. "And thank you for that fascinating dance."
"You're welcome, Suguru-san," you smiled at him, gently sliding the tip of your fingers in his grip. "And thank you for visiting."
The servants led them out to the genkan and you followed closely behind, the curious Haibara still asking questions about your inherited technique as you walked on the redwood engawa.
"We almost forgot why we came here and it's really to pay respects to your father," he told you as they stood outside the gated estate. "But thank you again for that healing dance, Otome-san."
"I'm glad you liked it, Yu-san. I had hoped your other friends would say the same—"
"It was riveting," the blond stated. "Your performance, hime-sama."
"It's actually…" You stated your name, taking a step towards him as the rest of the group started their walk back to school. The tall Nanami took a step back before you could even reach him.
"I don't think I have to remember the name of someone I won't be seeing again."
"Ah—"
He had caught up with the rest of the boys, the dark-clad figures disappearing into the night's shadows. The servants caught you smiling to yourself, a sleeve over your lips as you let out a short laugh that startled them.
Something had taken root that night. A need was sparked.
"Now who said we wouldn’t be seeing each other ever again?"
— 2006. Tokyo Jujutsu High.
The first years Nanami Kento and Haibara Yu had just left the principal's office on a sunny weekday morning. As they were instructed to do, they met up the young master of the Koganei clan, who was seated rather calmly in one of the school’s many holding rooms.
"Ah, hello. You must be Nanami-san and Haibara-san. It's nice to meet you again, young jujutsu sorcerers."
After a few weeks of mourning, your older brother finally made his first trip outside the Koganei Estate as the new clan head, and the first item in his agenda pertained to you. Outside of family business, he preferred to dress more casually, but his role as the family spearhead required him to look the part, hence his dark hakama and gold-coloured haori. A set of pale blue crystal Juzu beads hung on his waist, a colour so strikingly familiar that it fascinated the younger boys.
"I've spoken to Principal Yaga about the details and I'm sure he shared those with you as well, but I'm happy to go over them again with you if needed."
"The Principal gave us all the details, but we'd appreciate any more information you could give us, Koganei-san," the brunette spoke up.
"Of course. I'll tell you all I can," your brother gestured to the sofa. "Let's sit."
The three young men all sat across each other, your brother given the largest sofa since he was a guest of the school.
"You've seen what my little sister's capable of doing, yeah? And experienced it, too, if I remember correctly."
"Yes! Otome-san's technique is breathtaking!"
"Figured you'd say that after seeing her, Haibara-san. She's always been aware of her beauty that it's almost annoying, but she's still my sister, no matter how she acts."
"She's pretty, all right," Haibara stated with a smile. "Though she kind of acts like an old woman."
"I thought so, too. Almost like a grandmother, right?" Your brother chuckled. "She knows how to play roles well since she's part of their school's theatre club— always playing the big, flashy roles that caught the attention of some unsavoury suitors."
Nanami finally looked up at the older boy.
"And that's where you come in. Someone's been cursing my little sister— having those things running after her all the time. But none of the scary, killing kinds, as far as I know. While she's done everything she could to fend off the curses, we're worried that they may get too strong for her to handle on her own. As you probably know by now, we're not a… fighting clan. We serve as healers in the jujutsu community."
"Hime-sama should probably stop taking those flashy roles if they're becoming such a cause of danger for her," the blond stated. "If not a lovesick boy, it's probably a jealous understudy."
"She's tried that, too. Stepping down from roles in their plays? Three times, if I recall right. The curses ended up chasing her rather angrily, some of them even asking why she wasn't on stage. Also, I value my sister's safety, but it doesn’t mean her life should be flipped inside out because someone's been cursing her. I want her to keep on doing what it is she likes."
The younger boys exchanged looks, nodding in confirmation of what they've heard much earlier. Your brother placed a washi paper wallet printed with golden flowers on the coffee table in the middle of them all. "She attends Sesui Private High School. It's in Yokohama."
"Sesui?" Came the curious question from the two students.
"Serinuma Suiren Private High," the older boy stated before gesturing to the gold-printed wallet on the table. "You'll find all of your directions, fees, train tickets and a bit of extra in there."
"We can't accept this," Nanami started. "It's a mission assigned by the school, so—"
"I insist that you take it," your brother raised a hand. "When it comes to my family, I simply don't want to skimp on anything. The school also agreed that our family would be paying you for your services, so you're free to consider it an internship of sorts if it makes you feel any better."
"Thank you, Koganei-san! We'll do our best with this."
"Thank you as well, Haibara-san. You really are reliable, just like what Otome said."
The young leader finally rose from his seat and made his way out of the room, hands in his haori before pausing halfway through the door. He turned back with a curious smile on his face.
"Oh, you probably don’t know this, but she specifically requested for you, Nanami-san. She's quite taken by you, I believe."
— 2006. Serinuma Suiren Private High School, Yokohama.
It was normal for schools to be empty in the afternoon. Only a small number of students remained there at the end of the day for their club activities and they expected a decent amount of noise from the gyms, but the eerie silence of the gated area only made the boys even more vigilant.
Nanami and Haibara continued to walk in a straight path until they encountered a short-haired girl running out of the auditorium, her face shockingly pale in contrast to the dark purple blazer she wore. As they attempted to stop her, she pushed through them with a tackle, landing lopsidedly on the ground before getting up and running away again.
They decided to let her go and run into whatever it was she was running from, forgetting all about the curtain, too.
It was recorded as a Grade Three cursed spirit on paper, but the sight of it onstage at the school’s auditorium made it perfectly clear to the young sorcerers that they were facing no low-levelled cursed spirit.
"It's a second-grade!" Haibara rushed to the nearly empty stage. "Leave this to me! Nanami, go get Otome-san!"
"You guys?!" You squeaked, startled by the arrival of the pair in black. "Oh, right! You're supposed to be here!"
From off-stage, the blond analysed the curse they were dealing with— a scorpion-like being with claws looking to crush you as you jumped from one spot to another. It emanated a malevolence unlike any other you've sensed before. Nanami followed your moving figure onstage and stood at the edge of the stage.
"Someone hates me enough to wish death upon me, huh?" You took another leap before finally tripping on some wires onstage. "Gh—!"
While you expected to fall on the auditorium floor face first, Nanami caught you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder before turning to the auditorium doors. "We're leaving."
"W-Wait! We can't just leave this running around here! I—"
"Let me rephrase that," he continued. "You're leaving. Your safety is what we came here, but we can't exorcise the curse and protect you at the same time. It'll only keep on cornering you."
"I can help you, Kento-san! You know what I can do! I— Wait! We can’t leave Yu-san!"
"Don't worry about Haibara and humour me for just one second, hime-sama," he stated. "Does anyone here at your school particularly hate you?"
"I'm not sure."
"Does anyone here particularly love you?"
"I don't—"
"Do you have admirers? Fans? Close friends?"
"There’s… Yuka-chan," you sputtered as he finally exited the auditorium and placed you down on the ground. "She's a close friend and an understudy from the theatre club."
You thought Nanami still looked so well-put-together even after carrying dead weight like you around. He took a moment to calculate something in his head while you looked up at his profile, observing his sharp features and the soft flow of blond hair that framed his face.
What, what, what— I’m in fucking danger but he still looks so good? No, wait. Stop it!— you scolded yourself, softly shaking your head as he turned to face you again, not the least bit bothered by your blushing face.
"That girl, Yuka-chan, was it? Does she have short hair?"
"Yes! Is… Is she all right?!"
"Was she with you in the auditorium when the curse appeared?"
"Uh, yes. I've been coaching her on her role for our next school play. The curse suddenly came from nowhere and attacked us—"
"No. It’s been there all this time," he replied. "You need to listen to me carefully, hime-sama. Your friend may be the one who’s been cursing you."
"Wait, Kento-san. That doesn’t make any sense. Yuka-chan is—"
Nanami was quick to shield you from the movement he caught in the corner of his eye. The same short-haired girl who ran past them earlier approached you breathlessly, hands reaching out to yours.
"Otome-chan! Y-You’re safe! Oh, I'm so glad!"
"Yes, I am, Yuka-chan! These gentlemen from, uh… I—"
"I'm sorry! I didn't know it would lead to this! I… I didn't expect any of this to happen at all! I just—"
"Yuka-chan?"
The girl squeezed your hands. "Ugh… I don't know why it's like this. I love you so much, but I… I hate you so much, too… It's all so much to think about. Your life's just so perfect and you're kind to a fault. None of this is your fault. Ngh… I sh-should be hating myself for this! Part of me really wanted you gone so I didn't have to play second fiddle to you ever again!"
Warm droplets fell on your hands as you saw the other girl drop her head, shoulders shivering as unwarranted sobs left her lips as well. Those mere seconds felt like an eternity. Nanami had a sombre expression on his face as you turned to look at him. He knew. Envy had a way of snaking into people's innermost thoughts and managed to corrupt even the purest of hearts or intentions. He had seen curses be borne this way, unfolding way too many times even in his short life.
Yuka had left when she realised how much danger releasing such negative emotions posed, while you made the difficult choice of ending your friendship with her.
"That's a wise choice," the blond told you, a hand on your head as you pursed your lips and cried to yourself. "Don't beat yourself up over this."
"I—"
"Yo! Nanami! Otome-san!"
The dark-haired boy who emerged from the ruins of the school auditorium was all smiles when he made his approach, dust speckled on his dark uniform but mostly unharmed. You nearly forgot about him.
"Yu-san! You're all right!"
"Naturally!" He replied with an even wider smile.
"Oh, you're wounded," you brought a hand to his grazed cheek. "Let Suzaku fix that for you."
The golden light that appeared in your palms as you clasped your hands together eventually spilled out, small plumes of red and gold flames which they recognised as the healing kind of cursed energy pouring out of you. The large bird they last saw perched on your shoulders at your estate was reduced to the size of a newly-hatched baby duckling, which you then placed atop the brunette's head.
"I thank you for coming to my aid," you finally bowed down before them. "I hope you'll allow me to give you my thanks. Do you guys like sweets? I know the cutest little coffee shop that sells amazing desserts!"
Haibara was enthusiastic. "Ah, that sounds great, Otome-san! We—"
Nanami, on the other hand, was quick to interject at the proposal. "Our work here is done. There's no need for us to be—"
"Man, you're always so strait-laced," you said with a scoff and a sigh. "Yes, I get it. Being around me is such a pain that you can't wait to go back instead."
The brunette brought a hand to his cheek, the texture of warm thread running over where a wound should be. Suzaku closed up his grazed cheek by threading it closed with Kintsukuroi, the Koganei clan’s distinctive cursed technique.
"…I don't have a lot of friends from the jujutsu community, let alone people my age, too. Ones who can see things as I do… so I'm sorry if you feel like I'm forcing myself onto you guys. I simply want to thank you for your assistance."
"Nonsense, Otome-san! Please consider Nanami and I your friends," Haibara warmly smiled at you. "I… don’t know how friendships and connections work from your side of the world of sorcery, but I think no matter which side of the coin you're at, it's a solitary occupation and you'll need all the help you can get. Isn't that right, Nanami?"
"Y-Yeah," the blond replied, obviously defeated at the sight of such enthusiasm from his counterpart.
"So please ask for us again if you're in need of any kind of assistance! We'll be more than happy to accommodate you."
There was much to take in on that particular day. It was only today that you found out that humans were just as untrustworthy as sorcerers were, but not all sorcerers were untrustworthy. You had exchanged contact details with the pair of sorcerers in the making at the popular cafe you mentioned earlier, no longer strangers, but friends you could rely on. Friends who had no ulterior motives.
From then on, roots continued to grow, a sprig of hope taking form.
— August 2007.
Keeping in touch with young jujutsu sorcerers was harder than you thought, especially since the school kept them incredibly busy. Haibara would occasionally respond to your messages while you received nothing at all from Nanami, which was already somewhat expected. The pair were on a far-out mission last you heard from them, but they may come back in time for your audition to the renowned all-female Takarazuka Revue in Hyogo.
It was summer vacation and a much-needed break from your acting course, apart from the strict training you imposed on yourself. Your older brother eyed your silly movements from where he sat as you lay rather lazily on the golden tatami floor of his office of sorts. His beloved pet cat had curled up against you as you punched in a reply to the messages you received earlier this week.
[H. Yu: Good luck with your audition, Otome-san! It would've been nice to cheer for you in person, but I'm sure you'll get in! ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ]
[N. Kento: Good luck.]
On one of your spontaneous visits to Shibuya to see Haibara and Nanami, the blond told you that being a drifter wasn't good, no matter how influential your family was.
"You must have something you want to work on. A goal of sorts."
Following last year's incident with the Grade Two curse, you decided to retire from the Sesui Theatre Arts Club— even though you were only on your second year— and turned your full attention on auditioning and getting into the Yuki-gumi of the Takarazuka Revue, which was something you resolved to achieve by relying on your own skill and not on the many connections your family had, no matter how easy they made it sound.
"Are you ready for your audition, Otome? Takarazuka's too far for me to accompany you, so I'll have to ask one of our uncles to make arrangements for your transportation," your brother looked up from the sheets of paper on his chabudai and tugged at your foot. "And protection, too. Stop bothering Jaken."
"You know you need our uncles more than I do, onii-chan," you replied with a smile, kicking his hand away as you pulled a very warm and purring Jaken much closer to you. "Can't you ask for Yu-san and Kento-san? I don't know how Jujutsu High works, but I'm pretty sure they don't get summer breaks since they're still out on their mission, right?"
"They're training to become full-fledged jujutsu sorcerers, not bodyguards," he stated, followed by a sigh not long after. "I can ask Principal Yaga if your favourite sorcerers can accompany you, then. Let me just make a call."
It was at times like this that you were thankful for the family connections and influence you could use. You followed your brother's figure as he got up and stepped out on the redwood engawa, his phone already on his ear. Part of you lamented how he had to grow up way too soon. He was only 21, but the stress of running and ruling a clan already made it evident through the subtle lines on his face.
"Ah, yes. I'd like to speak to Principal Yaga. This is…"
You didn't pay much attention to your brother's droning which you heard clearly. You eyed his pacing figure and the pale blue Juzu beads that hung on his orange haori, the afternoon sun playing on its surface.
"Oh, so he’s busy?… What did you say?"
The sudden quake in his voice prompted you to raise your head. You couldn’t paint the look on your brother’s face as he turned in your direction. "Onii-chan? What’s wrong?"
"It's Haibara-san, Otome," his shoulders dropped rather slowly as he ended the call. "He…"
Nothing— not even your burning, sobbing face— could soften Nanami's grim expression, the physical and mental exhaustion already obvious on his face. He hadn't moved from his spot outside the morgue since they arrived there even after his senior Geto urged him to rest up. The sun was just rising and a new day was about to begin. Having lost his sense of time, he thought he was seeing things when you approached him, red-faced and in a sloppily-made dark yukata.
"You're supposed to be in Takarazuka."
"I couldn't leave."
Nanami knew that Haibara would have been glad to see you there, him and his boundless energy that seemed to have an effect on everyone. Where Haibara was accepting, Nanami was only tolerating, and he certainly didn't have the patience to tolerate you right now.
"He would have wanted you to pursue your dreams. You should have gone to your audition. That's what you were—" He changed his tone, the annoyance in his voice already obvious. You were surprised when he got up and grabbed you by the shoulders. "What the shit, hime-sama. You shouldn't even be here! The hell are you crying over someone you barely knew?!"
You could hardly make out his expression as tears continued to blur your vision, but you snapped away from his brusque grip.
"Don't patronise me! I know I'm not entitled to anything here. I'm merely a spectator," you seethed. "But you have no right to tell me what to feel about things, Kento-san. Yu-san was a wonderful person who has been nothing but kind to me. You can't tell me not to cry when he…"
You couldn't finish your sentence. He was such a warm soul taken way too soon.
"I simply want to… wish him farewell."
You sobbed into your palms as the sun continued its rising, the warmth of your tears mixing in with the cursed energy you released to manifest Suzaku, who flew into the place you weren't permitted to enter. Your eyes could only follow the shikigami as far as its plumes went.
"I was his friend, too."
The vines you felt coiled around your heart loosened their hold on you and you knew ripping them out would only make them grow even more.
The blond's shoulders dropped as he sighed in defeat, unable to move any more as you slumped to the ground in tears.
"Of course you were. As am I."
— 10 January 2011. Seijin No Hi, Koganei Estate.
"You're late."
A slightly older Nanami looked up at a slightly older you as he carefully stepped out of his dark dress shoes and into the slippers one of the Koganei servants provided to him at the genkan.
"We never agreed on any time, hime-sama."
"And why are you in your school uniform? It's our coming of age!"
You could tell that he was eyeing the finery you had on— the gold-coloured furisode printed with red chrysanthemums, your collar lined with fine white faux fur, as well as the golden accessories atop your head. The expression on his face remained unchanged even as he saw your hands on your hips like an accusing mother seeing her wayward son come home.
"Your coming of age. I don't have time to celebrate such frivolities."
"Yet here you are," you said pointedly.
"I'm only here to congratulate you."
"Of course you are," you hastily grabbed his wrist and dragged him in and away into one of the many holding rooms of your estate. "Now come! Let me dance for you as part of our celebration."
You and Nanami kept in touch even after Haibara's death, knowing your friendship was something the brunette would have wanted both of you to honour. The meetings grew sparse as you both got older, but he made sure you weren't kept waiting long whenever you reached out to him, which wasn't as often as before due to your busy schedules.
When you missed your audition for the Takarazuka Revue, you were promptly scouted into the local Shiki Theater Company, where you grew into one of the stage's most beloved young actresses in the making, now one of its most prized divas. There would be a single yellow chrysanthemum waiting for you backstage every after show— no sender attached— but you knew exactly from who they came from. The flowers were a thoughtful gesture even though they symbolised sorrow and neglected love. Nanami left them so often that you rarely felt neglected.
How ironic, you would tell yourself with a smile as you tucked the stem into your hair as an adornment.
The afternoon of your coming of age was quiet, a stark contrast to the celebration your family held for you earlier in the day. In the afternoon, it was just you and Nanami on the redwood engawa facing one of your estate’s modest gardens, lukewarm cups of coffee and half-eaten sweets, as well as Suzaku, the size of a tiny singing bird, tweeting softly as it sat on the blond’s shoulder.
Even though your servants brought you a change of clothes, you remained in your golden furisode, the fur collar discarded as the warmth of the day rose high in the sky.
"Say, Kento-san," you started. "When will you fall for me?"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Don't ask silly questions."
"It wasn't silly," you told him as you brought your knees to your chest. "I'm sure you know that I've liked you for the longest time. I—"
Nanami looked up from his cup of coffee and turned to face you, long fingers softly taking a lock of your hair that came undone from your hairstyle.
"The heart is such a stubborn thing, isn't it?" He started, looking oddly sentimental. "I'm not stupid. Of course I know how you feel and it's neither flattering nor heart-stopping, to be honest. Every day, I can't help but think that someone will use you against me for their personal vendetta and I can't handle that at all."
"Kento…san?"
The tenderness of the way he gazed at you was startling, but not so much as the words he said afterwards.
"I fell for you— stupidly— a long time ago, and how agonising was that? But right now, you have to understand now that we won’t always be like this. We both have to stop reaching for things completely beyond our grasp, wouldn’t you agree?"
You were a house of brick and stone and he was the ivy running all over you. He seized you like a bird caught in snares even though he wanted to see you fly away. Nanami brought his hand to your face and wiped away the warm tears running down your cheek.
"Hime-sama…" His voice cracked. "Don't ask me for anything more than this, I beg of you. I won't be able to give any more and I won't allow you to consume me like this."
—
You had to join your mother for dinner with your maternal grandparents that evening, so the task of escorting Nanami out of the estate was left to your older brother, who was in his usual dark-coloured hakama and golden haori. There was no lack of good wife candidates, but he still remained unmarried at the age of 24.
"I thank you for having me and allowing me to celebrate this occasion with hime-sama, Koganei-san," the blond gave the older man a bow after he got into his dress shoes.
"Thank you for coming all the way here, Nanami-san. We appreciate it, especially Otome, I'm sure," the young clan head replied with a smile. "Hopefully, you didn't have any plans for today."
"Haibara would have wanted us to accept this invitation if he were here."
"But what about you? Is this what you want?" Your brother asked with a small laugh. "You know you don't have to keep on humouring my little sister if she's already being too much of a burden on you."
"She isn't a burden, Koganei-san," the younger man stated with a small smile. "Hime-sama is… a cherished friend. Surely I can humour her for a bit longer. As long as she keeps in touch, of course."
— 2014.
On your 24th birthday, you were finally permitted to live outside of the Koganei Estate, but not without your personal retinue of protectors from the clan. One who kept a particularly close eye on you was your late father's enforcer, Sakashita Yohan, and he kept watch over you at a safe distance so as to not disturb your normal day-to-day living.
The old man— who was years older than your father but far younger than your grandmother, whom he took orders from— had a head of salt and pepper hair and lived one unit below your own in the high-rise condominium you selected due to its close proximity with your theatre company. Once a part of your brother's retinue, he was now tasked with keeping you safe on his own, seeing as he was— as the former clan head stated— worth at least 20 men.
Throughout the years of his protectorship, Yohan easily filled out the role of the father you lost way too soon, all while still honouring and remembering his memory. He served as your guardian, one of your closest friends, a constant dinner companion, and he soon became well-acquainted with the only other friend you kept in your life— or you at least tried to keep, seeing how elusive Nanami became the higher he climbed up the corporate ladder.
On this particular rest day of yours, you decided to head to Shibuya 109 to purchase new nail polish colours in time for your next production. While you've shed the golden yukata and kimono you were more used to wearing, part of you always kept a part of your home close to your person.
"…"
And it was something your dearest friend would recognise even from afar.
"That’s not a very good colour on you," a low voice stated from behind you, startling you just enough to drop all the bottles you were holding into your shopping basket.
"Eep! K-Kento, it's you! How long have you been standing there?!"
"Hello to you too, hime-sama. I saw Sakashita-san a few steps back and figured you were here as well."
It was Nanami, much taller now as the years went by, but he still had the same cool expression on his face as your eyes met. Even as he was out of his usual dark clothes for sorcery and in more formal corporate attire, he still looked every bit of fine to you. He sure knows how to dress, all right.
"How did you see me? This place is always awfully crowded—"
"Your hair," he pointed out. "Golden chrysanthemums."
Even in the bustling of the crowded mall, everything seemed motionless as you stood before each other, at least that was how you saw things. He held a brown paper bag in one of his hands and you were taking this opportunity by the other.
"Make time for me, Kento," you stated with a smile as you took his empty hand. "We've been busy, but this meeting was surely preordained and part of our lives' greater design."
"Don’t talk like that. We're not in the theatre, so please speak normally, hime-sama."
"Always so strait-laced," you huffed, dragging him away as you discarded the basket full of nail polish bottles. "I'll treat you to lunch if you know a place, so tell me something good."
He did tell you something good, and you found yourselves walking down a most familiar corridor in the city, with mostly just you chattering about your most recent shows and productions. When the both of you tried to find a middle ground for the short casual meetings you would have after your work (Yes, you refused to refer to them as dates), you found it at Cafe Lilico, a tiny, rustic red brick cafe that was mostly hidden between Shibuya's high-rise buildings. The little place was owned by a retired sorcerer who sought to keep a place open for people like you two. The shopfront had a lot of flower pots in full bloom, concealing most of the inside of the cafe to the curious passersby.
"I accepted an acting coach position in my theatre troupe," you said as you sipped your tea. "They were surprised that was talking about retirement from being a diva so early that they thought I was getting married."
"Are you not married yet?"
"Kento, I would've told you if I were. Believe it or not, my brother’s still unmarried. Such a pity that even I had to wait this long," you joked. "But knowing him, he probably wanted me to enjoy my own life."
A waitress in a frilled brown apron placed a cup of the cafe's special chocoffee on your table before disappearing again. The blond lifted the cup thoughtfully, gently blowing away the swirls of white steam over it. "Aren't you seeing anyone?"
"Heavens, no. And you would've known that as well," you laughed at him. "Though I've had my eye on someone for quite a while now. He said he liked me before, but that's that. It seems I can't get my hands on this one."
"He's probably not the settling type, then."
"Come now, Kento. How long do you plan on leading this… aimless walk of yours? It's not like you at all."
"Whatever do you mean?"
"Are you really happy, like, making all this money and not, well…" You ran your fingertips over the rim of your cup. "…What about jujutsu?"
He didn't answer you, only lowering his eyes to his cup, eyeing a small chocoffee stain he left on the plaid red linen tablecloth. When he opened his mouth to say something, no words came at all, so he opted to take a drink instead.
"Kento, if you're going to be like this, won't you consider… marrying into my family?"
The question was soft, but it was loud enough for him to hear and rousing enough for his gaze to finally meet yours again.
"I'm probably not like the other women in your life," you started. "But don't you think I’m worth coming home to at night?"
Nanami knew the kind of life that waited for him if he were to accept your proposal then and there. He would be husband to an esteemed lady from an esteemed sorcerer clan, a famed star onstage, a woman who loved him enough to stay in touch as often as she could, even as he tried to elude her by evading her calls. And yet, when he saw you standing there in Shibuya 109, with a sprig of yellow chrysanthemums tucked in your hair, he couldn’t help but gravitate towards you like a child being offered candy.
Sweet, he thought. Life with you would be sweet.
But he knew this for a fact as well: Your clan didn’t have any fighters, but with him there as your husband, they would finally have their strong-arm. He would be given every whim he'd ask for even though it was only you he wanted, but he had to be at the front lines when war comes knocking at their doors… and at the end of the day, he would come home bruised and battered, only to be rebuilt by you— stringing and threading back his skin and bones with Kintsukuroi, golden thread and tears from Kin’iro no me— each and every single time.
Nanami was wise enough to know that every sweet dream had to end eventually. He was doing that right now.
"Why on earth would I marry you?"
You didn't contact him for months after that cup of tea. He didn't seem to mind any of that until the end of the year came and hadn't heard a single word from you. Oddly enough, he quietly swallowed his pride and found himself standing outside your theatre one snowy November evening.
"Kento? What are you doing here?"
Nanami wasn't in his usual striped suits anymore, but in a plain cream one you haven't seen before. You liked the leopard tie he had on him, but you weren't going to say that out loud. He approached you, the snow crunching against the pavement and underneath his brown leather dress shoes.
"I apologise for not giving you an answer worth hearing," he stated. "You were every bit serious when you asked me to marry into your family the last time we spoke and I simply dismissed all of that without even thinking of how you would feel."
"D-Don't worry about it. We've been friends for years, right? Surely I'd be used to your abrasive dismissal by now," you waved a hand at him, a crooked smile on your face as you pulled off your knitted scarf and beckoned him to approach you. "But aren't you freezing? I—"
"As much as I want to marry you, hime-sama, I can't bear the thought of never being able to come home to you ever again. You know—"
"Yes, I know," you cut him off, the chill of the winter air causing you to shiver on the spot. "A life with me is— Wait, did you just say you want to m—"
"A life with you would be wonderful," he said, much to your surprise, right before stepping into your space and taking your scarf in his hands. "But that's not the kind of life I'm meant to lead."
"Kento…?"
He let out a low chuckle as he wrapped the beige article around his neck. "Though I do believe you’re worth coming home to at night. Perhaps you'd like to prove that point."
"You'll run Yohan-san out of business if you…"
A soft cloud of breath left your lips as you let out a laugh. Large, cold and callused hands cupped your face and you expected your mouth to be met by even colder lips, but his kiss was just as warm as how your heart felt right now.
Even as you sought to rip off the ivy all over you, there it came and went again, coiling around your heart as though it had nowhere else to grow.
You felt his figure bend down and soften as you tiptoed and gently coiled your arms around his neck, your lips quivering nervously before finally breaking into a smile.
"I guess Yohan-san can take the night off."
— September to October 2018.
You lived the last four years blissfully and willfully ignorant of your husband's work dealings in the jujutsu world, something you both mutually agreed on when you got married in a private ceremony that officially welcomed Nanami into the Koganei clan. Your marriage still took place despite all the apprehension he felt, but not much changed afterwards. Neither of you wore any wedding bands and he never took your name— and you didn't mind that at all since none of those formalities mattered to you, anyway. All that mattered to you was that he would come home to you at the end of every day. His work at Tokyo Jujutsu High still took precedence over clan duties, which he was rarely given seeing as it was peacetime within the jujutsu community.
Or so everyone thought.
When your husband returned home to the Koganei Estate from his assignment in Kawasaki, he was accompanied by one of Gojo's young students, the one known as the vessel of the age-old King of Curses. For a keeper of someone so sinister, the young Itadori Yuuji was warm-spirited and charismatic and your twin nieces were quickly drawn to his character. It helped that he was rather adorable, too.
Upon your marriage, part of the Koganei estate became the home you shared with Nanami, though you both maintained the single condominium unit you once lived in when you were still in theatre and he was still in corporate.
After having dinner that evening, your nieces in matching golden yukata gleefully chased Itadori around the estate, the latter taking the role of the heartthrob rather seriously. The sound of the children’s laughter and padded footsteps running on the redwood engawa were enough to keep you awake even after you lost so much sleep after waiting for Nanami to arrive home.
The evening was warm and the shoji were drawn open to let in the cool breeze.
"Things have been pretty dangerous lately," you told him, a yellow uchiwa in your hand as you sat beside Nanami on the redwood engawa. "Our Kin'iro no me has been reacting more than usual."
"I can only assume you've been busy assisting the clan."
"Yeah, there's that," you replied. "I keep on repeating our agreement to everyone since they've been asking for you a lot. And I know you still have to return to Jujutsu High after this because of Yuuji-kun."
"If it's not too much of a bother, we'll be staying here tonight," he told you as he massaged his temples with a single hand. "We'll leave tomorrow morning."
"Of course it won't be a bother. Though I'm not sure how we can peel away Hirari and Kotoha from Yuuji-kun," you said with a laugh. "I'll ask onii-sama to grab them in a while since I'm sure the kid's tired, too. Shall I sing for you two?"
"That would be nice."
From across the dining room, your twin nieces had latched themselves onto the boy, whose boundless energy only seemed to match the little girls' own.
"To think that they're only three," you remarked with a hum. "Yuuji-kun, break their hearts properly, all right?"
A pale moon hung on the deep blue evening sky, the light just enough to illuminate the little garden outside your estate.
"He reminds me of Yu-san. Him and his well of endless energy. He must be a good kid if you're willing to let him in on our not-so-little secret."
"Good, but still impressionable," Nanami told you. "He still has yet to understand that loss is a natural part of being a jujutsu sorcerer."
"A world where we would never have to lose our allies would be absolutely wonderful," you wistfully looked up at the silver moon. "Unfortunately, that's not how this world of ours works at all."
—
Nanami could sense the restlessness underneath your shared sheets.
"Go to sleep, Otome."
"Please tell me how I can sleep when it’s been weeks since I last saw you."
"I did say you should always assume the worst when I don't come home."
"You know I hate it when you say that."
You clung onto him under the sheets, just irritatingly enough for him to pull off the covers of your shared futon. The faint moonlight filtering through the shoji was enough for him to see the glint of mischief in your eyes as you sat up and positioned yourself over his figure, gently placing your hands on his shoulders as you straddled his lap.
"But you're here now and that’s really all that matters to me."
The swiftness of his response startled you since you didn't expect him to sit up all of a sudden, his dark yukata falling off his broad shoulders as he coiled his strong arms around your figure. You dove in for a kiss when you were finally face to face, the lower part of your light yukata bunching up in his closed fist while another callused hand ran up your bare thigh.
Warm, Nanami thought to himself as he gradually felt every bit of his resistance leave his body, the hardened warrior in him rendered pliable in your hands. He realised you were just as malleable as he was right now with the way you helplessly whimpered into your kisses. So fucking warm.
"Not a sound since we have a guest sleeping in the room right across the hall," he murmured against your cheek, awaiting any kind of confirmation that you heard what he said. A smile graced his face when you headily and eagerly nodded at him, your lips pursed to a thin line as a larger hand gently dipped under your yukata.
"So sorry to have kept you waiting then, my sweet wife."
It was Nanami who drew the shoji doors open early the following morning, allowing a crack of light to hit your face just enough to wake you from your slumber. He was in his dark yukata from last night, his belt tied haphazardly as he slipped under your sheets again, head in hand as he eyed your still half-asleep form.
"Kento," you said, throat parched from all your muffled moaning last night. He brushed away the hair that was stuck on your forehead.
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
He could only look at you, the same playful smile on your face when you first met ages ago.
"Careless," he replied, his voice so low that it sent a shiver down your spine.
"I know," you said with a sigh. "Sorcerers have to empty themselves of any kind of want in their lives. Any desire they possess can be used against them. I—"
He grasped your chin and pulled you in for a kiss, as if saying shut up, you talk too much.
"Remember to always assume the worst, hime-sama."
Nanami returned home every after assigned more aged than the last time you saw him and there were always new lines for you to take in. Your fingertips brushed against his jaw.
His eyes were the colour of verdant greenery, the ivy that had consumed every part of this house, the deepest part of the forest on the foot of a golden mountain. How many times have you found yourself running into the depth of that forest so aimlessly? Regardless, you found your way out every single time, just as he always found his way back home to you.
"Remember that you have a home waiting for you here," you told him with a smile. "I'll always be waiting for you. To come home to me."
Nanami never returned home.
Reports of the Shibuya incident were delivered only to the highest members of every clan in the jujutsu community seeing as the authorities wanted to keep the whole thing under the wraps. Your brother never breathed a word to you, but the look on his face when you met afterwards only gave away the inevitable fact that your husband will never be able to come home to you ever again.
It felt as though roots that were so deeply planted into your heart were ripped away forcibly, leaving a tear you can't seem to close even as hard and as desperate as you tried. He told you every time you parted to expect the worse when he doesn't return home, but it always remained an afterthought to you since he always managed to find his way back to you— maybe a bit bruised and banged up, but still working, nevertheless.
You remained distraught and inconsolable for quite some time. There was a tear in your heart that never really closed, yet the world continued to move. You know you had to, as well, since that's exactly what he would have wanted.
"Ah, how awful," you told yourself as you wiped away the tears that pooled in the corner of your eyes, a thoughtful hand over your gut. "Looks like it's just you and me now, my little one."
— 20XX, Kuantan, Malaysia.
"Not like that, my sweet thing. Oh, look at you—"
"Mama, stop!"
A young mother fretting over her eating child wasn’t an unusual sight in the street-side restaurant lined along the city roads. Your daughter helped herself to some Apam Balik, making just the right amount of mess for you to easily pick off your table. The child was no older than six and was careful not to get any crumbs on her pink jumper.
"Look at you chomping on those like a champ," you stated, a smile on your face as you handed her a paper napkin. "Better eat those up before Satoru oji-san arrives!"
"Ngh! Not Satoru oji-san!"
"I think it's a little too late for that," a man in familiar dark clothes stated all of a sudden, taking the seat across from your child. "How have you been, Kaho?"
The little girl could only grimace at him in response.
"Oh, man, that's a million-dollar frown," Gojo stated with a laugh. "She's definitely Nanami's kid, no doubt."
"Never doubted it one bit, either," you said with a chuckle. "Everyone we knew said the same thing."
You smiled at your young daughter, gently reaching out to brush away the blonde curls that got in the way of her pancakes.
"You know, Otome, I never really apologised properly—"
"Save it, Satoru," you told him. "He said it so many times. Always kept me an arm's length away. He knew exactly what kind of life he led, all right? He said he was ready for anything. I don't blame you for anything and I’m sure he wouldn't have, either."
Your coffee had grown cold even in the relentless heat of the Malaysian afternoon. The warm weather was something you had gotten used to in your life there, most especially since you lived in a little house near the beach, something Nanami had absentmindedly told you about before.
"Here in Kuantan, our neighbours know me as Mrs. Nanami, a mysterious young widow from a foreign country with an even younger daughter who has most of her late father's striking features," you rambled off as you pulled your little girl in for a tight hug and a soft kiss on her smooth, round cheek still filled with Apam Balik. A small huff of complaint left the girl's lips, but she quickly settled into your arms. "Kaho and I know there's no one else like Kento around and we probably wouldn't want anyone taking his place in our little family, even though I know he wouldn't care any less if I found a new man to love."
"Don't say that, Otome! Nanami was absolutely nuts for you! He once said he hated overtimes because he hated making his wife wait for him," said Gojo as he took the pancake your daughter graciously offered him. "He didn't really try that hard to keep your whole thing a secret. Yuuji teased him a lot about it, too."
"Hearing about that only makes me miss him more," you replied with a small smile. "Everything Kaho knows about her father is all from me. Surely you can spare an afternoon to talk to her about Kento."
"Of course we can! What is it you want to hear about your papa, Kaho?"
There was a twinkle of curiosity in your daughter's eyes as she listened to how Gojo graphically discussed the man that was Nanami Kento. Every story confirmed that there was really no one else like him and you were certain that no one else can come close to how deep he planted his roots in your life, just like a brick house exterior overrun with ivy, and you didn't mind a single bit at all.
So much of him still resided in you and Kaho, after all. There was still ivy all over the place.
End.