Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This Isn’t the DND Chat, Will

William the Wiseiam: watch out guys, mike is in a Mood

Paladork: i am not in a ‘mood’, William

Another one bites the Dustin: oh oof he really is

Another one bites the Dustin: use your words michael

Another one bites the Dustin: what feelings are distressing you so

Paladork: i will kick you from this chat

William the Wiseiam: hes just being dramatic

William the Wiseiam: even though he swears hes never dramatic :/

Paladork: im literally not

Paladork: this is a perfectly reasonable response

The Cool One: oh boy what pissed him off this time

Paladork: why does everyone assume that im overreacting?

William the Wiseiam: because im in the room with you and have been since your mom hung up

William the Wiseiam: not to mention you’ve known for like,,,a week

William the Wiseiam: i, for one, am excited 

William the Wiseiam: and i know you are too

Paladork: i do not understand how you two get along

Paladork: hes insufferable

The Cool One: ooh the big words

The Cool One: putting the dictionary to good use

Paladork: maybe you should try it, maxine

Lucass: back to the point: who is insufferable?

Paladork: Richard

The Cool One: …

Another one bites the Dustin: …

Lucass: …

Helleven: who is richard?

Paladork: hi el

Paladork: richard is the bane of my existence

Paladork: and he will be sharing my room for the next three months

Lucass: wait all summer???

Another one bites the Dustin: at least you already have a bunk bed dude

Another one bites the Dustin: still cant believe you used to share a room with nancy

Angel with a bowl cut > Mikey

Angel with a bowl cut: wait do they seriously not know anything

Angel with a bowl cut: i swear this has come up before

Angel with a bowl cut: i thought they just forgot

Mikey: i don't think it has, honestly?

Mikey: i mean

Mikey: he hasnt visited in a few years

Mikey: last year was uhhhhh a bad time

Mikey: the year before that he said was a bad time for him

Mikey: the year before THAT, he had to stay to be there for bill

Mikey: we had our own shit going on in between that so while it kinda sucked i didn’t mind

Mikey: but our shit meant that he couldn’t visit on breaks either so...

Angel with a bowl cut: what about the year before that?  Lucas and Dustin were our friends then

Mikey: remember, that was the year that lucas went on that road trip with his family and dustin went to camp for the first time

Angel with a bowl cut: and you just

Angel with a bowl cut: never mentioned your own summer plans to them

Mikey: you know what

Mikey: i may have in fact

MIkey: forgotten to mention that my brother was coming to visit

Angel with a bowl cut: you are so stupid sometimes i swear

Angel with a bowl cut: this is kind of hysterical though

Mikey: i guess they just assumed my bunk bed was from nancy? And i never knew that?

Mikey: why would they think i would room with nancy

Angel with a bowl cut: like they would ever jump to the conclusion of ‘mike has a brother who doesnt live with him anymore’

Angel with a bowl cut: anyway i think theyre wondering where we went

Angel with a bowl cut: are you gonna tell them

Mikey: …

Mikey: its gonna be so funny if i don't

Angel with a bowl cut: and you say youre not as bad as richie

Mikey: yeah well

Mikey: …

Mikey: i got nothing

Mikey: at least i don't do the voices

This Isn’t The DND Chat, Will

Another one bites the Dustin: dudes

Another one bites the Dustin: whered you go

Lucass: who is richard

Lucass: why does mike hate him

The Cool One: if mike hates him, i like him

Helleven: Why is he visiting?

Another one bites the Dustin: who IS he

Another one bites the Dustin: where did they GO

Paladork: i hate him because hes annoying as shit

William the Wiseiam: literally stop lying michael

William the Wiseiam: i happen to know for a fact that youre texting him right now

Paladork: doesnt mean hes not annoying

William the Wiseiam: are you telling me that you arent smiling right now at some dumb thing he said

Paladork: …

Paladork: his friend just ran into a pole because he was looking longingly at the ice cream place

Paladork: am i not supposed to find that funny?

William the Wiseiam: ‘nothing Richie does is funny’ - Mike Wheeler, about a thousand times

Paladork: oh my god

The Cool One: drag him, will

Paladork: this wasnt something richie did, i was laughing at bill being a dumbass

William the Wiseiam: oh it was bill?  That's valid then, that's quite funny

Another one bites the Dustin: who ARE these people

Paladork: richie comes to visit every once in a while from maine

Paladork: my aunt always forgets to call my mom so this acts as a way to get updates on how shes doing too

William the Wiseiam: yeah and not at all because you enjoy richies company and miss him at all, right

Paladork: definitely not

William the Wiseiam: im gonna tell him you said that

Paladork: oh my god don't, he’ll be even worse

William the Wiseiam: play DND this weekend and I wont 

Paladork: youre a menace

Another one bites the Dustin: im kinda looking forward to meeting your cousin

Another one bites the Dustin: especially if hes good at annoying you

Lucass: oh i can already tell that this is not going to end well

Angel with a bowl cut > Mikey

Angel with a bowl cut: why am i not surprised that they fell for that

Mikey: thank you dustin for taking the leap and assuming i meant cousin

Mikey: now if they ask, im definitely not talking to richie

Angel with a bowl cut: go, pretend you don't have emotions

Bastard > Bitch

Bastard: guess what

Bastard: youre gonna get a kick out of this

Bitch: mom confirmed that im older?  

Bitch: we been knew, mikey

Bastard: fuck off, youre not older

Bastard: and no, not even close

Bastard: i realized today that i never told my friends i had a bother

Bastard: *brother

Bastard: but bother works too honestly

Bitch: wow????

Bitch: i cannot believe that my name has not come up in conversation

Bitch: with how loved i am?  For shame, michael

Bitch: depriving miserable old hawkins of my presence

Bitch: im sure at least dear william has mentioned me

Bastard: i literally don't talk about any of my family regularly, youre not special

Bitch: i am very special

Bitch: stan just said so today

Bastard: he was definitely being serious, im sure

Bitch: doesnt matter, he said the words

Bastard: keep telling yourself that

Bastard: anyway

Bastard: i still didn't tell them

Bastard: and dustin might have assumed youre my cousin

Bitch: are you saying what i think youre saying

Bastard: im saying that itll be really funny to see their faces when you get here

Bitch: FUCK yeah

Bitch: time to break out my mikey impression

Bastard: dude

Bastard: seriously

Bastard: it wont work

Bastard: i wouldn’t be caught dead in what you wear

Bitch: right back at you

Bitch: good thing im dead inside and that you dress similar enough to stan

Bastard: richard

Bitch: michael

Bastard: if one of them punches you, im not at fault

Bitch: eh wouldn’t be the first time

Bastard: ???

Bitch: dw bout it

Bastard: is that dickhead bowers still bothering you?  You havent mentioned any injuries lately, i figured things were getting better

Bastard: and are you still sure you don't want me to tell mom about that

Bitch: awwwwwww mikey cares about wittle old me

Bastard: shut your fuck and answer the question

Bitch: hahahaha

Bitch: the day derry gets any better is the day i become president 

Bitch: but also did i really forget to mention that bowers fucking died or what

Bastard: what the fuck

Bastard: yeah you definitely didn't fucking mention that???

Bastard: when the fuck did that happen?

Bitch: two summers ago

Bitch: he fell down a well in an old abandoned house

Bitch: but not before killing the rest of his gang and a few other people

Bitch: *shrug*

Bastard: i

Bastard: richie

Bastard: i say this with the most exasperated expression a brother can have

Bastard: what the fuck  

Bastard: is that what happened two summers ago that made you not visit?

Bitch: did mike ‘i hate my brother’ wheeler miss me?

Bastard: fuck no

Bastard: but i cant be slightly concerned when i find out derry had murders?

Bitch: sure, sure

Bitch: anyway, yeah that's basically why i couldn’t come

Bitch: bowers was a murdering fuckwad, some people died, bad memories were brought up

Bitch: fun times all around

Bastard: shit

Bastard: and you didn’t say anything because….

Bitch: right bc that's such a fun conversation starter

Bitch: its all good now, the new asshats arent nearly as fucked up, we’re fine

Bastard: right

Bastard: so…

Bastard: when are you leaving derry?

Bitch: smooth transition my dear mikey

Bitch: ive got a bus saturday afternoon

Bitch: should be there sunday morning

Bitch: and then you’ll be subjected to my beautiful voice once again

Bastard: its never too late to hope youve gone mute

Bitch: thatll never happen

Bitch: there will always be a way for me to annoy people

Bastard: how you have friends is beyond me

Bitch: i even have one more than you

Bitch: fitting for the older brother

Bastard: you arent fucking older, bitchie

Bitch: ooh bringing out the angry nickname, loving it from my baby brother

Bastard: that's it

Bastard: im locking you out of my room

Bastard: sleep on the couch

Bitch: that's my room too, dick

Bastard: sorry i cant hear you over the eighteen hour distance

Bitch: speaking of my friends tho

Bitch: i was thinking maybe they could come down for a bit too? not the whole summer but like,,,,

Bitch: they do actually like me and will miss me

Bastard: ask mom when you get here but id like to meet the people who can put up with you

Bastard: and i guess see the ones i already know

Bitch: oh shit that's right you haven’t met the three newest losers

Bitch: theres no way you can be annoyed at me when benny is around, hes an angel

Bastard: i can fucking try

Bastard: aw shit moms calling for dinner

Bastard: ill see you sunday

Bitch: not if i see your friends first

Bastard: that doesnt even make sense

Bastard: bye richie

Bitch: see ya soon mikey

This Isn’t The DND Chat, Will

William the Wiseiam: Mike: i hate richie, hes annoying, i don't want him to visit

William the Wiseiam: also Mike: texts richie for almost an hour, while i'm sitting in the room and can watch him go through a face journey at whatever richie is saying

The Cool One: drag him

Another one bites the Dustin: sassy will is my favorite will

Paladork: fuck all of you

Chapter Text

Loser and Lover are synonyms

Roachie: so

Roachie: we found the limit i guess

Richie leaned back in his seat on the bus, looking out the window as Derry grew to be more than two and a half hours away.  He was thrilled to be getting out of the town, going back to Hawkins (as much as that town sucked too) and seeing his family again.  But...he hated leaving the Losers, even if they were already planning their own trip down to meet him.  They had all seen him off at the bus station, hugging him and promising to convince their parents to let them take a road trip.  Eddie had said that even if his mom said no, he was sneaking out to come anyway.  But still.  He was excited to see his brother again, not that he’d ever tell Mike that, but he already missed the Losers.  He missed feeling them around him, their comforting presence.  He hadn’t left Derry since before... that summer.  And leaving town before that summer was so much easier.  

Bi-bi-billy: apparently

Bi-bi-billy: when did you notice it?

Roachie: after around two hours

Queenie: aw shit that's sooner than we thought

Country boy I love youuu: we’ll just have to text, then :)

Country boy I love youuu: I’ll miss your voice, though, Rich

Roachie: shit, mike, don’t make me cry on a bus

Roachie: you cant just get all sincere like that

He felt his eyes sting, but he refused to cry on public transport.  Especially not with sixteen more hours left to go.  Fuck, he missed them already.  Sure, it was his idea to spend the summer in Hawkins, it's been over three years since he’s last seen his brother, but as of this moment he was in the weird transport limbo and it sucked.  He was excited to get to Hawkins and meet his brother’s friends and annoy the shit out of his family, but he just wanted to be there already.  Have some people to talk to.  He was excited to see Will again, he remembered when they were kids and they all played together.  Will had always been closer to Mike, but all three of them were pretty close once Mike brought Will into their duo.  When Richie had decided he needed a change of scenery and asked to spend a while with their aunt in Maine, he was glad to know that he wasn’t leaving Mike alone.  Even if he never said as much.  Even if his goodbye present to Mike was to leave a glitter bomb in his bed with the help of Nancy and wait for his pissed off phone call as soon as Richie arrived at his Aunt Maggie’s house.  

Angel: we will be as sincere as we want!  

Angel: its gonna be at least a week or so until we come visit :(

Angel: we’ve never gone that long without our trashmouth

Stabley: Finally.

Stabley: Some peace and quiet.

Angel: now now stanley

Angel: what did we say

Stabley: I never agreed to that.

Queenie: we said one day of not making fun of Richie!

Stabley: Again.

Stabley: I did not agree to that.

Squedward: woah yeah when did that happen I didn’t agree to that

Bi-bi-billy: listen guys

Bi-bi-billy: if I have to do it, you guys can do it too

Bi-bi-billy: its just one day, by this time tomorrow we can make fun of him again

Stabley: You all are so lucky that I’m emotional today.

Stabley: Not because Richie left, it's unrelated.

Roachie: STANNYYYYYYY YOU LOVE ME

Stabley: Never have those words left my mouth. 

Roachie: well you know how much I love your mouth

Bi-bi-billy: christ, richie, its only been three hours

Roachie: cant stop wont stop billiam

Country boy I love youuu: sorry stan, I have a recording :)

Stabley: I trusted you, Mike.

Queenie: mike has videos of everything.  This shouldnt be a surprise.

Roachie: everything??? ;);););)

Squedward: keep that up and I will go back on this agreement that I don't remember making

Roachie: ;(

Angel: richie what

Angel: what does a winky frown mean

Roachie: ;(;(;(

Angel: richie please

Queenie: stop stressing the babie

Roachie: :(

Roachie: benny babie im sorry

Angel: the babie has forgiven

Angel: <3

Stabley: And once again his chat name proves accurate.

Queenie: does it ever not?

Bi-bi-billy: the lady has a point 

Roachie: oh and stan

Roachie: is now a good time to mention i stole one of your polos

Stabley: Richard Tozier.

Roachie: im not in derry anymore staniel :/

Stabley: Fine.  

Stabley: Richard Wheeler why did you take my shirt .

Queenie: goodness that's weird to see

Country boy I love youuu: yeah i know you all explained things but that is…

Country boy I love youuu: odd

Roachie: I really only use wheeler when im back home, dw bout it

Roachie: i mean yeah its technically my name and all 

Roachie: but im used to both now

Stabley: You aren’t good at avoiding the question, Richie.

Roachie: fineeeeeeee

Roachie: your polo looks like something my boring brother would wear, and im gonna fuck with his friends

Roachie: not that youre boring though, stanny, the polos and buttonups look dashing on you

Stabley: Flattery will get you nowhere, Trashmouth.

Roachie: flattery gets me everywhere and I know it ;)

Bi-bi-billy: but

Bi-bi-billy: wont they be expecting you

Roachie: not if dear brother michael forgot to tell his friends that im his brother and let them assume im his cousin :)

Squedward: are you sure its not just that he wishes you were his cousin instead

Angel: eddie :(

Squedward: fuck

Squedward: sorry ben 

Squedward: its instinct

Stabley: Well, when Hawkins burns to the ground, at least we’ll know who to blame.

Roachie: exactly

Roachie: mike wheeler

Stabley: …

Stabley: sure

Bitch > Bastard

Bitch: eta is 10 am

Bastard: call mom, bitch

Bitch: bad service, bastard

Bitch: ill try but she wont be able to hear my sweet ‘n sexy voice very well

Bastard: yeah well

Bastard: im not the one picking you up soooo

Bastard: let mom know when to get you

Bitch: ill just walk, i know where im going

Bastard: mom will kill me if she knows i let you walk home

Bitch: mhmm like you tell her everything

Bitch: little rebel mikey 

Bastard: you tell her less than I do

Bitch: yeah but im allowed to

Bitch: i live in maine

Bastard: you call regularly

Bitch: besides the point

Bitch: i kinda wanna walk anyway

Bitch: been a while, yknow

Bastard: let me guess

Bastard: youre dressed like me

Bitch: well not right now

Bitch: but i will be

Bastard: fucking hell

Bastard: just

Bastard: don't talk to anyone I havent told you about

Bitch: i cant wait to meet max

Bitch: she seems rad

Bastard: why did i agree to let you visit

Bitch: because you loooooooooove me

Bitch: mikey looooooooooooves me

Bastard: not in the slightest

Bastard: i will kick the bottom of your bed all night to prove it

Bitch: ooh im gonna keep you awake, huh ;*

Bastard: disgusting

Bastard: don't make me do the thing that stan told me about

Bitch: oh the beep thing?  He told you about that like,,,five years ago dude 

Bitch: im surprised you havent used it yet, they beep me like at least three times a day

Bastard: how do they put up with you

Bitch: what can I say?

Bitch: im irrisitable

Bitch: irisitable

Bitch: irresistable 

Bitch: eh you get it

Bastard: okay youre a dumbass but this is clearly you being half asleep

Bastard: go the fuck to sleep

Bitch: awwww my brothers a s o f t i e

Bastard: i will strangle you the second i see you

Bitch: kinky

Bastard: oh my god three years was not long enough

Richie grinned and slid his phone into his pocket as his eyes threatened to shut again.  He texted Mike rather often, but there was nothing quite like seeing the annoyed expression he got on his face that really only Richie was able to cause.  The moon was visible in the sky outside the bus window, and Richie let himself sink into sleep.  He knew his dreams would be Loser-free for tonight, given how tired he was he doubted he would dream at all, but he was looking forward to when he was back in his old bed and could really relax.  Hawkins sucked, but it was better than Derry in a few ways.  For one, Henry Bowers never existed there.  Two, neither did the demonic clown.  Three, the store owners weren’t pedophiles and were actually very nice.  Most of Hawkins regularly forgot he existed, but that was fine.  It was just what happened when you left town at age 8 and only visited once or twice a year, and then didn't visit for over three years.  However, Derry had the Losers.  And that made up for quite a bit.  

As Richie nodded off to sleep, he thought over his plan for this summer.  He had some news to break to his brother, and he had no idea how he was going to do it.  The others had helped him plan, but Richie knew how easily things went wrong with his plans and so he was still stressing about it.  He knew that even if Mike was weird about it at first, he’d eventually be fine, but still.  It was nerve-wracking.  So he just let the plan tumble through his mind, and drifted off to sleep.  

The Coolest Wheeler > Runner Up

The Coolest Wheeler: where are you?  Mom is worrying your bus went off a bridge somewhere

Runner Up: oh nance, you wish

The Coolest Wheeler: i do, i do wish

The Coolest Wheeler: how long till you get here?

Runner Up: oh uhhh

Runner Up: only a few minutes actually

Runner Up: eta is still 10

The Coolest Wheeler: ‘still’? When was this established?

Runner Up: haha whoops

The Coolest Wheeler: wow suddenly I have no brothers

The Coolest Wheeler: because apparently neither of them can tell me anything

The Coolest Wheeler: hang on, ill be at the bus stop in ten

Runner Up: no need, hon, im walking

The Coolest Wheeler: i don't know what hair-brained thing youre planning and i don't care 

The Coolest Wheeler: but i AM picking you up

The Coolest Wheeler: you ARE coming home, saying hello to mom, and then you can do whatever you were going to do.

Runner Up: damn nancy when did you get cooler

The Coolest Wheeler: probably when I learned how to shoot a gun

Runner Up: you WHAT

Runner Up: NANCINE WHEELER THAT'S AWESOME

Runner Up: TEACH ME

Runner Up: NANCYNANCYNANCY ANSWER ME

The Coolest Wheeler: i was driving, dumbass

The Coolest Wheeler: and no way. you have mikes dna and that boy cant aim for shit

Runner Up: I CAN AIM NANCY 

Runner Up: TEACH ME TO SHOOT A GUN YOURE THE BEST SISTER EVER

The Coolest Wheeler: oh my god richie

The Coolest Wheeler: at least give mom a few days to stop hovering over you before asking me, she doesnt know about it

Runner Up: you learned to shoot a fucking gun in secret?????

Runner Up: to hell with mike, youre my twin now

The Coolest Wheeler: i would rather swan dive off the quarry

Runner Up: i can respect that

Runner Up: anyway were pulling into the lot now

Runner Up: oh shit i see you

Richie put his phone away again as he spotted Nancy leaning against a car and scanning the passengers.  He grabbed his two bags and weaved his way through the crowd, breaking through and catching her attention.  She could deny it all she wanted, but he saw the way she grinned when she first saw him.  He would deny the way he grinned right back.  They’d take it to their graves, that’s just how it was.  But still, it had been three years.  And those three years had held a hell of a lot of shit.  Sue him, he missed his fucking sister.  So Richie dropped his bags with a thud and let Nancy wrap him in a hug.  He was getting close to her in height, but she still had a few years on him and so he wasn’t quite even yet.  

“Hey, Rich,” she greeted, “Are you ever going to stop getting taller?”

“Sorry, Nance, I’m destined to be a beanpole,” Richie responded with a grin.  “It’s a monkey’s paw thing, though, because the taller I get the worse my eyesight becomes.”

“Did your glasses get even worse?” Nancy laughed.  “How long until you’re legally blind?”

“According to the doctor, it might happen when I hit twenty,” Richie reported, shrugging.  “Just means I’ll have an excuse not to drive, though.”

“You've barely even learned , Richie, don’t knock it just yet.”

“I will knock anything I want to, including driving and all societal conventions.” Richie picked his bags back up to put them in the backseat of the truck that he was pretty sure did not belong to Nancy.  “Whose truck is this?  Is it, uh, shit what was your boyfriend’s name again?  With the hair?”

Nancy froze slightly, clearing her throat as she reopened the driver's seat door.

“Oh, uh, Steve and I...broke up,” she said.  There was an odd look in her eyes that Richie couldn’t place.  “I didn’t realize I forgot to tell you.  This is Jonathan’s car.”

“Jonathan...Byers?” Richie finished, and at Nancy’s nod, he made a sly face.

“Ah, going for the artistic guy, I see how it is,” he teased.  “Shame, though, I kinda liked Steve.  Bit of a dick, but funny.”

“Yeah, well, he’s a lot better now,” Nancy said, that look still on her face as she started the truck and began to pull out of the lot.  “He’s a good guy, just…”

“You’re already dating Jonathan?” Richie guessed.  At her nod, he hummed and looked out the window.  The joke on the tip of his tongue, ‘ monogamy’s a bitch, huh?’ , died as he remembered where he was.  As he remembered the people that weren’t there with him.  He shook that thought out of his head, they’d be down soon and until then he had his family and Mike’s friends.  He was excited to see Will again.  “Fuck, it’s been a while since I’ve been here.”

“You missed a lot,” Nancy said.  Richie frowned.

“What’d I miss?  Mike told me about the fiasco a few years ago when Will got lost in the woods, but he didn’t mention anything else.  Is the little shit holding out on me?”

“No, I mean...that's the main thing,” Nancy said, her wince not seen as Richie turned back to the window.  “But we got a mall, it-”

“-Wait, shit, really?” Richie interrupted.  “Is Hawkins finally moving into the modern day?”

“Not anymore,” Nancy replied wryly, ignoring his interruption.  She had gone three years without having someone interrupt her every three seconds, it was high time she got used to it again.  “It almost killed the small businesses, but then it collapsed in on itself last summer and wasn’t rebuilt.”

“Damn,” Richie said.  “The most modern thing in Derry is the movie theater, Nance, you got my hopes up.”

“Did you hear the part about it running the small businesses into bankruptcy?” Nancy asked, raising her eyebrows.  “Mrs. Byers nearly lost her store, the mall collapsed just in time.”

“No, no, I heard that part,” Richie replied.  “I’m glad Mrs. Byers didn’t lose her store, but c’mon, a mall would be so cool .  Think of all the babes, Nancy.”

“I’m a taken woman, Richard,” she countered.  “Also, very straight.”

“Yes, yes, I get that, but it’s the concept ,” Richie continued, “for there to be babes in a town, there must be a place for those babes to hang out.  Right now, no such place exists in Hawkins.”

“Okay, I’ll humor this asinine thought, is there such a place in Derry?” 

“No!  Absolutely fucking not!” Richie threw his hands up, nearly knocking his glasses off.  “Which is why Hawkins needs to get a damn move on.”

“I get that Aunt Maggie and Uncle Went aren’t like mom and dad, but you’re gonna need to remember not to curse this much,” Nancy reminded him.  “Mom might not mind, but you know what dad gets like.”

“I know, I know,” Richie brushed it off.  “I’m getting it out of my system.  I have an impeccable filter.”

“That is a bold-faced lie, Richie Wheeler.”

“How do you know?  Maybe I’ve changed.  I’m a changed man, Nancine.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Nancy shook her head.  “Your texts certainly don’t give me confidence.”

They pulled into the driveway only a few minutes later, and Richie hopped out to grab his bags.  Not that he wouldn’t beg Nancy to carry them for him, but there were a few last-minute letters stuck into the outside pocket of one of them, and Richie would rather she not see those.  So he just made due with complaining about it the whole way up to the door, seeing his older sister roll her eyes and ignore him.  He pushed open the door with a shout of ‘ the favored child has returned!’ and listened as there was a clattering in the kitchen.  He dropped his bags by the door and saw his mom peer around the doorway from the kitchen.  Her face brightened.

“Richard!” she exclaimed.  “Oh it’s so good to see you, it’s been too long!”

“I know, the house is so dull without me,” Richie said, “God knows Mike can’t liven up a room.”

“Your brother is plenty lively, Richie,” his mom chided gently.  “I think he was meeting his friends at the arcade, if you wanted to join him.  Dinner is at the usual time, if you still remember.”

“How could I forget?  Eleven o’clock, right?” He grinned, and his mom rolled her eyes before pulling him into a hug.  Sure, Richie spent most of his time now with his aunt and uncle, so much so that they were basically his parents (hell, he even went by Tozier in Derry), but Karen Wheeler would always be his mom.  Ted was up in the air for his dad, honestly, but Richie had nothing against the man.  He just wasn’t very...hands-on of a dad.  Went, on the other hand, was very outwardly supportive of what Richie did.  So sometimes Richie liked to think of it as having two moms and a dad, plus Ted.  

“I expect to hear during dinner everything you’ve been up to that you haven’t said on the phone,” his mom said, letting him go from the hug and attempting to straighten his hair before he intentionally messed it up again and she gave up.  “I know you, there’s more than what you’ve told me.”

“I’m sure you want to hear about all the times I’ve gotten detention, hm?” Richie asked, laughing at the sharp look she sent him in return.  

“Go find your brother, we’ll all catch up over dinner,” she said, leaning in and kissing his forehead before he could protest.  Then she went back to the kitchen and Richie was free to take his bags up to the room that he used to share with Mike.  He dropped his bags on the floor, immediately opening one of them and pulling out the shirt he had stolen from Stan.  Stan’s style wasn’t exactly like Mike’s, it was slightly more ‘put together’ and had a few less bright colors, but it was close enough.  It only had to work for a little bit anyway, and Richie would be literally flying blind the whole time.  Worth it, though.  Sure, he could have just taken from Mike’s closet now that he was home, but he had already stolen Stan’s shirt so he may as well wear it.  The shirt was one of the most vibrant ones Stan owned, because even to imitate his brother Richie would not be caught dead in a neutral toned shirt.  The blues that Stan had were nice, and looked good on him, but they weren’t Richie’s style. This shirt was a soft yellow, which Richie liked to think brought out his eyes.  

When he left the rest of his bags lying on the ground and ran back down the stairs, Nancy gave him a look and raised her eyebrows.

“Really?  First day back and you’re pulling a Parent Trap?” She asked.  Richie grinned and shrugged.

“I’ve been gone for three years, Nance, what better time?  I’ve got some people to meet and annoy.”

“That is your specialty,” Nancy turned back to her book, “don’t blow up the arcade.”

“No promises!” Richie called as he slipped back out the front door.  He made his way to the garage, wondering if his old bike still fit him.  His bike in Derry was too big to bring on the bus, so this one had better still work, but he hadn’t ridden it in years.  They might have even gotten rid of it if Mike had gotten a new bike.  Then he paused, something tugging in his chest as he saw the slightly worn but still new-looking bike tucked against the wall of the garage.  It was clearly too big for Holly, and Mike was gone with his own bike, leaving only one option for this one.  It was bright green, obnoxiously so.  Richie loved it .  He didn’t know if it was bought recently or if they bought it whenever Mike got a new bike, but he didn’t care because it was his .  He would never say this to anyone except maybe the Losers when they got him emotional at three in the morning, but he sometimes wondered if his family thought about him when he was in Maine.  Did Mike see something and know that Richie would love it?  Sure, they texted rather often, but that was different than when Richie passed a comic book in the store and thought about picking it up because it was Mike’s favorite series.  Did Nancy ever look at the door to the twin’s room and remember when there were two hellions instead of one?  Did his mom remember him when she happened to make his favorite for dinner?  Sometimes he worried that the answer was no.  That they only thought about him when he visited, and then when he left it was like Mike no longer had a brother, and Richie was no more than a Tozier.  

But they bought him a bike.  They knew he’d come back, and that he’d need a new bike when he did.  Richie refused to get emotional over that, but he had to distract himself by actually getting on the bike and pushing off down the driveway.  

With the wind in his hair and the air smelling of one of his two homes, Richie felt a grin on his face.  It had been too long.  He would gripe and groan and purposefully push any button he could, but when push came to shove, it was all clear.  Richie couldn’t wait to see his brother. 

Chapter Text

Hot Wheels

Go Ask Mom: the monster has been released

Go Ask Mom: good luck Hawkins

Thing 2: oh boy

Thing 1: ;))))))))))))

Thing 2: oh boy

Richie grinned as he parked his new bike on the rack by the school.  He could see Mike’s bike just a few rows down, easy to pick out by the name painted on one of the back parts of the frame (most likely done by Will).  Which meant that Mike was already at the arcade.  He didn’t have a plan yet, but he knew that he’d think of one on the way or end up winging it.  Either way, someone would be surprised and it would be worth it.  He stuck his hands in his pockets and made his way down the street, noting what had changed since he’d last been in Hawkins.  There were new stores, most likely because many had closed thanks to the mall Nancy had mentioned.  Other than that, it was basically the same.  Another small town that never moved forward in time.  The air even felt the same as Derry, just without the... feeling that still permeated through the air thanks to It.  Richie shivered.  They tried not to think about It all that much, but it was hard to forget.  Impossible, really.  So they just tried to forget how awful it was, and focus on the very few positives.  Mainly, that they met Ben, Bev, and Mike.  At least Hawkins didn’t have that demonic thing infecting it.  

Richie only had to walk for a few minutes before he saw a familiar face.  Will was older, certainly, but still very recognizable.  Walking next to him was a boy with curly hair stuffed under a baseball hat.  Going off of what Mike had told him and the occasional picture he got, that was Dustin.  Richie grinned.  Perfect.  Before they could notice him, Richie slipped his glasses off and put them in his pocket, blinking as the world went from clear to a haze of colors.  The blob that used to be recognizable as Will grew closer as Richie walked, and he cleared his throat quietly to prepare for imitating his brother.  Mike’s voice was (obviously) very similar to Richie’s, but Richie tended to be...louder.  More obnoxious.  So Richie had to pretend to be far calmer than he was, using a slightly lower pitch of his voice.  

“Will!  Dustin!  Wait up!” He called, moving to a slow jog to catch up to them.  He thought he saw Will turn to look at him, and Richie wished he could make out his expression.  Could he tell it was Richie?  What he could tell, however, was the slightly confused tone of Dustin’s voice as he greeted Richie.  

“Hey, Mike,” he said.  

“We were just on our way to meet you and the others at the arcade,” Will said, and Richie could hear the grin in his voice.  He knew.  Richie made a face.

“Yeah, I got caught up at home, my mom didn’t think my room was clean enough,” he complained.  

“Oh shit, yeah, your cousin is coming today, right?” Dustin asked, revealing a slight lisp.  Richie took pleasure in scowling deeply at the mention of himself.

“Don’t remind me,” he grumbled, knowing that Mike would have complained about him rather than admit he was looking forward to seeing Richie.  Dustin knocked Richie lightly on the arm.

“C’mon, he can’t be that bad,” he said.  

“He isn’t, Dustin,” Will said, laughing as Richie turned the scowl towards him.  

“Really, Will?” Richie asked, sounding exasperated.  He shook his head.  “Whatever, let's just get to the arcade so I can forget he’s coming soon.”

“Whatever you say, Mike,” Will put his hand on Richie’s shoulder, squeezing it slightly in greeting.  Richie was going to hug him as soon as the charade was done, but for now he just sent Will a grin as Dustin turned forward again.  The arcade really wasn’t that far away and Richie was glad that he had Will there to keep him from tripping over anything in his blind state.  The lights of the arcade were visible even for Richie, and the familiar sounds had him relaxing as the three of them walked through the main doors.  He knew the instant that his true acting test was coming up.  They hadn’t seen him yet, but Richie could pick out the blob of black that had to be Mike’s hair, and the- oh fuck yes .  The pale yellow that had to be Mike’s shirt.  Nearly a perfect match to the shirt that Richie had on.  This was getting better and better.  He steeled himself, stopping the giddy smile from spreading across his face by putting on a confused look instead.  He felt Dustin stop abruptly in front of him at the sight of Mike.  

“Uhhh…” he said, drawing the attention of the four people surrounding the arcade console.  Beside Mike, Richie could pick out the blur of a redhead (Max, from what he’d been told), a black boy that had to be Lucas, which left the final person to be El.  Richie didn’t need to be able to see to know that Mike was mirroring his expression.  For all his brother acted like he was above the shenanigans Richie enjoyed, they grew up together.  Richie knew that Mike found this fun too.  

“Who the fuck are you?” Richie said, holding back laughter as he heard Mike say the same thing in unison.  

“Uh...Mike?  What the hell?” A girl (was that Max?) said, and Richie turned towards her.

“Who the hell is this?” he asked, pointing to Mike.  Richie was pretty sure that Mike crossed his arms.

“Who am I?  Who are you ?” he shot back.  Will put a hand on Richie’s shoulder.

“Okay, let's not make a scene,” he said.  “Which one of you is Mike?”

Richie could kiss Will.  “ Me ,” he said at the same time as Mike.  He didn’t know the expression on Will’s face, but by the hand on his shoulder, Will was clearly taking Richie’s side in this.

“Why does this shit happen to us ?” Lucas muttered, dropping his head in his hands.  

“Fuck, okay, uh,” Dustin paused, “say something only Mike would know?  Is this some doppelganger shit?”

“Fine, yeah, but this is stupid.  My full name is Michael Francis Wheeler,” Richie said, staring Mike down and holding back a grin.  

“I met Will on the first day in Kindergarten and he was my first ever friend, and my only friend until I met Dustin,” Mike said as soon as Richie finished.  Will shrugged, the motion jostling Richie’s arm.

“Both of those are right,” he said.  

“Both of those are also pretty basic,” Max countered.  

“Mike hates his middle name, though,” Will pointed out.  “He doesn’t really say it.  The story of how we met , though, isn’t exactly a secret.”

Will was joining Richie on Mike’s shit list, and Richie was thrilled about it.  He really had missed the nerd, he was like another brother.  Mike really shouldn’t be surprised that Will was fanning the flames from Richie’s side.  

“I had a stuffed turtle that I named Raphael and I kept him until I was thirteen,” Richie offered, and he knew that Mike was going to kill him.  Again, worth it.  

“Nancy used to practice makeup using me as a model,” Mike reluctantly said, and Richie held back a laugh.  She had used both of them as models, and Richie had loved it.  Mike less so, but he also never hated it as much as he was making it sound.  

“The secret Mike Lore,” he heard Dustin whisper, and that just made it even harder to keep a straight face.

“Not that I don’t love learning Mike Secrets,” Max said, “but this really isn’t helping.  Not if Will keeps nodding and saying that all of this is true.  One of you isn’t Mike.”

“Yeah, and it’s him ,” Richie and Mike spoke in tandem again, something that Richie had sorely missed.  

“It’s you,” El spoke up for the first time, pointing at Richie.  Richie crossed his arms.  She sounded certain, and judging by the way everyone turned to look at him, her words were very well trusted.  

“El, c’mon,” he said, “It’s me, and I can prove it.”

He really couldn’t.  He had known this wouldn’t last long with the two of them in the same room, and he had created a good amount of chaos for just ten minutes.  He did hope it would last longer, but he hadn’t counted on El just directly calling him out like that.  Not to mention, he didn’t know how El was so certain, but she definitely was.  It reminded him of his Mike back in Derry, when he would look one of them in the eyes and say that they needed to talk.  It wasn’t a question, Mike just knew and opened the floor for whatever needed to be said.  El just knew.  

“Okay, so, prove it,” Mike said.  “I know you can’t.”

Richie raised his eyebrows at Mike.  He wanted to play it like that?

“Alright then.  My name is Mike Wheeler, and I’m a secret softie who actually cares about my family, especially my hotter, smarter, cooler, funnier, and all around better older twin brother,” he said, losing his act and grinning at Mike.  He could feel the scowl that Mike was giving him even through his blindness.

“Are you serious?” he said, dropping his end of the act and bypassing the humor by moving straight to exasperated.  “How many times do I have to say it?  You’re not older, asshole.”

“Oh, but you aren’t protesting the rest of it? I’m flattered, Mikey,” Richie said, laughing at the groan that he heard in response.  

“Did you have to wear the same fucking color as me?  Whose shirt is that?” Mike complained, and Richie shrugged.

“Told you, it’s Stan’s.  And how could I do this on purpose?  I packed this yesterday,” Richie said in defense.  “You could’ve worn a different color, this is the brightest shirt Stan owns and I know you have other colors.”

“Or, you could have just worn your own eye-searing clothes and not pulled a Parent Trap,” Mike suggested sarcastically.

“Y’know, Nancy put it the same way,” Richie pointed out.  “But nah, this was fun.  Not that you’d know anything about that, you might share some of Stan’s boring wardrobe but he’s much cooler than you.”

“Stan goes birdwatching, Richie,” Mike argued.  “ For fun .”

“Yeah,” Richie agreed.  “And our fifteen-year-old grandpa is cooler than you, chew on that.”

“Hey, uh, what the fuck is going on?” Dustin interrupted.  Richie grinned brightly, strolling over and dropping his arm over Mike’s shoulder, leaning on his brother and just knowing that he was rolling his eyes.  

“Richie’s the name, and voices are my game,” Richie greeted him cheerfully.  “I’m quite good at imitating my brother, wouldn’t you say?”

“ Brother?” Richie couldn’t pick out a voice that said that, instead hearing multiple people at once.  

“Mike doesn’t have a brother?” Lucas protested, but it sounded like more of a question.  Richie pointed towards him.

“False, but it’s entirely his fault that you believe that,” Richie said.  “He didn’t want you to figure out there was a better version of him out there.”

“Not even in the slightest, I literally just forgot,” Mike said, pinching the bridge of his nose.  

“You forgot to tell us you have a brother?” Max repeated, sounding like she was trying not to laugh.  “And one who is definitely right that he’s cooler than you?”

“Ooh, ooh, Mike, I like her,” Richie nudged Mike in the side.  “She sees how it really is.”

“Yeah, and you can’t see jack shit,” Mike shot back.  “Where the hell are your glasses?”

“As funny as it would be to say that my eyes were miraculously healed, it is quite annoying to be seeing shapes of color instead of, y’know, actual faces,” Richie said, shrugging and pulling his glasses out of his pocket.  “Why’d you get the good eyesight?”

“Clearly-”

“-Nah, nah, I know why,” Richie interrupted, “because I got the humor and the looks.  You had to get something.”

Sliding the glasses back onto his face and blinking at the sudden return of his sight, Richie finally looked around him and actually saw the people he’d been punking.  Max was grinning, her hair the same shade as Bev’s but longer.  A little bit shorter than the length that Bev’s had been before she cut it.  El was standing next to her, her hair longer than the last picture Mike had sent him.  She was watching him with an odd look, like she was looking directly through him.  Will was laughing, his hand on a stunned Dustin’s shoulder, and Lucas had moved next to him with a slightly suspicious look on his face.  

“You let us believe he was your cousin , not an identical twin!” Dustin huffed, crossing his arms.  

“And was it not an eventful first impression?” Richie wiggled his eyebrows and earned an elbow to the side from Mike.  

“So, Mike,” Will said, “are you still gonna pretend you didn’t want him to visit?”

“Willicent!” Richie exclaimed, crossing over from next to Mike to pull Will into a hug, “I can finally say hi properly now.”

“Hey Richie,” Will hugged back, “Three years is too long.”

“I know, I know, shit just kept happening over in Fucking Nowhere, Maine,” Richie complained.  

“Oh, yeah, I’m gonna need more details on that, dickwad, you dropped some shit and then refused to elaborate,” Mike said, frowning.  

“Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on, Michael,” Richie waved him off.  “Child Murder Capital, USA, isn’t exactly a fun topic.”

“I don’t want to know if you’re being serious or not,” Lucas said, frowning too.  

“Then I won’t tell you!” Richie replied, grinning.  “But, pro-tip: Derry, Maine is a shithole.”

“Then why do you live there?” Max asked.  Richie shrugged.

“Everyone knows that hot people live on the coast, it’s where I belong,” he answered.  

“You’re unbelievable,” Mike said, deadpan.  

“ Thank you, Mike, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Richie returned.  

“Okay, so, I know our plan was the arcade,” Dustin cut in, “but I’m kind of feeling like just...getting to know Mike’s fucking brother ?  Which is still really weird by the way.”

As everyone else agreed (Mike rolling his eyes but following as everyone filed out of the arcade), Richie noticed that El hadn’t really said anything that whole time.  She seemed like a girl of few words, especially from what Mike’s said about her (which was actually very little, now that Richie thought about it), but still, she was just watching him.  Did she just find it weird that Mike had a twin? It would be understandable, Ben had been rather stunned when Richie had told the newest Losers about Mike.  Or was it something else about him?  Richie was used to people just...not liking him, but he had hoped that Mike’s friends wouldn't fall into that category.  He trailed behind, walking next to Mike as they followed the other five to what looked to be the field behind the school.  He nudged Mike’s arm, grinning at him when he looked Richie’s way.

“Hey,” he said cheekily, “is my voice as annoying as you remember?”

“We talked on the phone last week, asshole,” Mike replied, but he nudged Richie back.  “And yes.”

“Does that mean you aren’t happy to see your big brother?”

“For the last fucking time, we are the same damn age!”

“Well, one of us had to come first, do you even know how birth works?” 

“And mom refuses to say which one of us it was, which makes your point meaningless,” Mike argued.

In front of them, Richie could hear Dustin whisper, “This is really weird,” to Lucas.  He found their confusion to be very funny.  He was a bit disappointed that he never got the chance to prank the Losers like that, but he and Mike had pulled a few jokes back when Bill and Stan had visited Hawkins with him a few years ago (Eddie had wanted to come, but his mom had refused to let him leave the town, much less the state).  He supposed that would have to do.  

When they settled on the field, Richie leaned back on his hands and surveyed the group.  They seemed...different from the Losers in a way that Richie couldn’t really place.  Well, okay, there was a very obvious difference that Richie already knew about, but that wasn’t quite what he was thinking about.  They were close, clearly protective of each other, and knew each other very well.  But the Losers knew each other's worst fears, deepest regrets, and darkest secrets.  It may have started because of It, but they knew each other inside and out.  There were barely any boundaries, and those that did exist barely needed to be said because they were completely understood.  No one was to even mention Alvin Marsh (not that anyone wanted to), make jokes about Bev’s period (which Richie would admit he would probably do if he didn’t know how it affected Bev), and talking about Georgie was to be done with the utmost care.  Of course they talked about him.  Bill, Eddie, Stan, and Richie all loved him, there was no way they were just going to not talk about him.  But it was colored differently now, and they could tell when to not bring him up.  

Mike and his friends...they clearly cared about each other, but Richie could feel that it wasn’t quite as seamless as the bond that the Losers had been (admittedly) forced into by fighting It together.  That wasn’t a bad thing, just something Richie was curious about.  What sort of things were people not saying?  

“So...Richie, right?” Dustin started, slightly awkwardly.  Richie winked.

“The one and only,” he said.  “I thought about going by Dick, but I figured that’d be too obvious.”

“You get called that anyway,” Mike muttered.  

“Among many other things, dearest Michael.”

“And...why did we not know you existed?” Lucas asked.  Richie raised his eyebrows at Mike.

“Well, Mike?  Why did you never mention your favorite sibling to your friends?”

“Why do you assume you’re my favorite?” Mike countered.  “And would you believe that I just...forgot I didn’t tell you guys?”

“It’s true,” Will backed him up, “when he mentioned Richie was coming to visit, he realized he never actually said anything.  He thought he did.”

“You are such a dumbass sometimes,” Max said.  

“Mike being a dumbass aside,” Lucas said, earning a groan from Mike, “why haven’t you come to visit the past few years?  Dustin and I have known Mike for around four years or so now.”

“Well, the first year I met you two,” Mike answered, “both of you were gone over the summer and I legitimately just forgot to mention he was visiting.  And I said I was visiting my family in Maine over spring break, once again just...forgetting to clarify.”

“And my friends call me forgetful,” Richie said, grinning.  

“You’ve forgotten your glasses were on your face,” Mike shot back, deadpan.  Richie shrugged.

“Touche.” 

“What about the past few years?” Dustin asked.  Richie grew ever so slightly stiller.

“Oh,” he said, “uh.  Personal shit was happening.  Didn’t feel right to leave.”

“How, um, how is Bill doing?” Will asked gently.  “It’s been a while since I’ve talked to him.”

“He’s...doing better,” Richie answered honestly.  “Still doesn’t like to talk about it, but I don’t blame him in the slightest.  He and the others might come to visit too, if mother dearest allows it.”

“How many people would that be?” Max asked.  Richie grinned, the stiffness that had settled in his bones at Will’s question evaporating into the air.  He loved talking about the Losers.

“Six,” he said.  “The rest of the Losers Club.”

“The...Losers Club?” El spoke her first words directly to Richie since she had correctly deduced he wasn’t Mike.  He had seen her speaking short, quiet sentences to the others as they were walking to the field, but she clearly wasn’t one for talking a lot.  Her words were said slowly, as if to make sure she was saying them correctly, like someone who wasn’t quite sure what the words they were saying meant.  Slightly blunt, without the casual air of someone used to...speaking.  Consider Richie’s curiosity piqued.  He might be a dumbass, but he wasn’t stupid.  

“Yep,” he popped the ‘p’.  “Others call us losers, why not call ourselves that first?”

“Hell yeah, I can respect that,” Max said, reaching out for a fistbump that Richie enthusiastically returned.  

“Can six more people even fit in your house?” Dustin asked.  Richie turned to Mike but shrugged.

“They can fit in the basement, if you didn’t mind that,” he said.  “Trust me, they’ll be fine down there.”

“If you’re sure, and as long as we can still, y’know, use the basement,” Mike answered.  “Mom’ll just be thrilled you have friends.”

“Excuse you, I am delightful ,” Richie put a hand on his chest in mock offense.  “Everyone loves me.”

“You were the one who just said you were regularly called a loser,” Mike said.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t bother me anymore so why even count it?” Richie said.  “Now, anything else you want to know about Mike’s elusive twin?”

“Why does Mike hate you?” El asked, cocking her head slightly to the side.  Richie burst into laughter, partially at the question but also at just how seriously she asked it.  He leaned onto Mike as he laughed, who tried in vain to shove him off into the grass.  

“Oh, is that what he’s been telling you all?” Richie said as he kept laughing.  He reached up to pat Mike’s cheek and had his hand slapped away.  “C’mon Mike ‘n Ike, you love me.  You miss me.”

“Lies and fucking slander,” Mike returned, flipping Richie off as he continued to laugh.  

“William, my oldest friend, nerd extraordinaire, back me up on this,” Richie reached out to Will, who was chuckling at Mike.  “Does my brother hate me?  Or is he just mad that I’m funnier than him?”

“Well, I don’t know about that last point, considering your sense of humor,” Will started, “but he did start grinning when your mom said you were visiting.”

“ Will !” Mike protested.  

“ Yes , Will, expose him!” Richie cheered.  

“You will never get me to admit that you aren’t the bane of my existence,” Mike said. 

“Is that a challenge?” Richie asked, eyebrows reaching his hair.  “Because I will win it.”

“It’s not a challenge because it’s not gonna happen,” Mike said.  He was answered by a chorus of boos from his friends and Richie.  El was the only one who didn’t.

“Coward!” Max called.  

“That sounds like quitters talk, Mikey,” Richie said.  

“Oh would you look at the time,” Mike said, looking down to where he wasn’t wearing a watch.  “Mom needs us back for dinner soon.  Let’s pick this conversation back up never .”

Richie cackled loudly, but followed Mike to his feet and gave a bow to the other five.  

“It was an honor to meet you all,” he said, adopting a deep british accent that was deemed his best accent (even by Stan, who said he hated all of them).  “Until our paths cross.”

“Nice to see you Richie,” Will responded, smiling.  “See you tomorrow.”

He waved to the others, then stuck his hands in his pockets and hurried to catch up with his brother.  

Chapter Text

Sitting down for dinner at the Wheeler household dining table was something so familiar to Richie but so bizarre after three years straight of the casual Tozier dinners.  They usually ate watching TV, or Richie had dinner at the house of one of the other Losers.  They ate when they got hungry, normally around 7 or 8, but the time always varied.  The Wheeler household, however, ate at 6:30 on the dot almost every day, and ate at the table.  To call Richie punctual would be the biggest lie of them all, but no one was going to let Richie be late to dinner on his first night home.  He was in the middle of unpacking, reclaiming his half of the closet that Mike had started to encroach on, when Holly came barreling into the room and latched onto his leg.

“Richie!” She exclaimed, and he laughed before ruffling her hair.  “You’re home!”

“Hey there, Holly Jolly, look at you!” Richie knelt down and pulled her into a hug.  “You’ve gotten bigger!”

“Why didn’t you come visit me?” Holly pouted, and Richie frowned sympathetically.  

“I’m sorry, Holly-bear, I wanted to come home,” he said, “but my friend was having a rough time and needed company.  But I’m here all summer, so you can catch me up on everything that’s happened while I was gone.”

“Promise?” Holly insisted, holding out her pinky.  Richie laughed and pinky-promised.

“ Promise ,” he repeated.  “I gotta know what’s been going on with my baby sister.”

Holly giggled. “Mommy wants you for dinner,” she said, “She knew you’d forget.”

“It’s like no time has passed at all,” Richie said dramatically, making Holly laugh again.  “Well, would the lovely lady like to escort me?”

Holly took his outstretched hand and led him back down the stairs.  Richie couldn’t help but grin.  She really had grown since he’d last been home.  He was glad that she was still so happy to see him, and that he could still make her laugh.  He prided himself on being Holly’s favorite twin, and if Mike had stolen that spot he would have been upset.  

The dining table was set for six for the first time in a while, and Richie was not at all surprised when his dad seemed shocked to see him.  Ted never really...listened.  Ever.  But Richie had expected that, so he grinned it off and joked about never really being missed as long as Mike was there to remind them of what Richie looked like.  Then he took his old seat right next to Mike, who nudged his arm as if to silently ask if Richie was actually bothered by their dad not remembering he was coming home.  For all Mike’s shit-talking, they were brothers first and annoyances second.  He shook his head slightly to make sure the message got through that he was really fine.  He forgot how annoying it was to try and talk wordlessly.  He never had to do that around the Losers.  It was so much easier to just have them...hear him.  

“So, Richie, how is Maine?” his mom asked once everyone was served.  Richie shrugged.

“Cold and wet,” he answered.  “Nothing changed there.  The Derry theater finally got Back to the Future, though, so it’s slowly but surely catching up to the rest of the world.”

“That came out last summer, did it seriously just find its way to Derry?” Mike asked, baffled.  Richie nodded.

“Culture in Derry is at least a year behind everywhere else, I swear,” Richie said, “Oh, mom, did Aunt Maggie call you?”

“No, was she going to?” 

“Yeah, she said she would,” Richie said, “but I told her that if she didn’t by the time I got here, then I would tell you instead, so I will.  She just reached two years sober.”

“Oh, really?” his mom lit up.  “That’s wonderful, I’ll call her tonight and congratulate her.  How is Wentworth doing?”

“Yeah he, uh, relapsed about a year ago, but he’s been clean since then,” Richie said.  “He and Aunt Maggie were gonna celebrate this weekend, I think.”

It was so hard to resist wiggling his eyebrows at that, but he managed.  Sex jokes were all fine and good in Derry, around the Losers and his aunt and uncle, but Nancy was right that he had to put up a filter in Hawkins.  His mom and dad really hated that kind of humor, especially at the dinner table.  Mike looked over at him out of the corner of his eye and knocked his foot against Richie’s.  Richie kicked him back with the same amount of force.  Mike had gotten the unspoken joke.  

“Good for them, it seems having you up there with them is really helping them,” his mom said with a smile.  Richie held back a retort saying that it was good for him to be up there too, but he just accepted the compliment.  “How are your friends?  I know you said that Bill was doing better, but you’ve barely told me about these new friends of yours.”

Richie grinned.  Finally, a topic that he enjoyed.  Not that he wasn’t proud of his aunt and uncle, alcoholism was a bitch, but it wasn’t exactly fun either.  

“Oh, they’re awesome ,” Richie said, almost forgetting not to rest his elbows on the table.  “Ben is a massive sweetheart, he writes poetry for fun and built us a clubhouse all by himself.  Underground!”

“And none of you helped him?” Nancy asked.  Richie scoffed.

“Would you want me handling a hammer and nails?” He asked.  “He refused to let us help.  Bill tried to carry some of the wood and almost pulled a muscle.  The only person he would let help him was my friend Mike Hanlon, because he works on a farm and could actually lift things.”

“A farm?” his mom prompted.  

“Yeah, his grandpa owns a farm right outside the town.  Mike’s homeschooled, so he spends a lot of his time out there,” Richie explained.  “He comes into town to bring products, buy stuff, or hang out with us.”

“If he’s homeschooled, how did you meet him?” Nancy asked.  Mike frowned slightly next to Richie.  He had already been told the real story, how the Losers had found their Mike being attacked by Bowers and saved him.  Richie might tell Nancy the real story later, but their parents had no idea about the bullying in Derry, and Richie wanted it to stay that way.  Richie shrugged.

“We were all going down to the river and ran into him as he was getting picked on by this kid that didn’t take too well to there being a black kid in Derry,” he said, hating watering down Bowers to just ‘picking on’ Mike.  “So we asked if he wanted to hang out with us, he seemed like he needed friends.”

“That was sweet of you all,” his mom smiled.  

“Oh, actually, I had a question, mom,” Richie started, “would it be okay if my friends came down to visit for a little bit this summer?  I promise that all six of them would be fine with the basement, it’s bigger than Bill’s living room and we work with that for sleepovers.”

“Of course, Richie, it’d be wonderful to have them,” she agreed.  “Goodness knows we host Mike’s friends enough.  Just give me a heads up for when they’re coming.”

Oh, they’re always coming when I’m around , the joke burned as Richie held it back.  “Yeah, definitely.  Probably won’t be for a week or so anyway.”  

Nancy started to speak, but was quickly cut off.  “So, what-”

“-Woah, wait,” Mike interrupted, earning a sharp glance from their mom, “Richie, what happened to your hand ?”

Richie grimaced slightly, looking to where Mike was staring at the scar on his palm.  It wasn’t exactly a pretty sight.  

“Oh, yeah, that,” he said.  “I cut it accidentally.  Two years ago, I think?  Some jerk broke a beer bottle in the grass, you know how it is.  Eddie forced me to get a tetanus shot, and that hurt more than the cut itself.”  False.  That oath had hurt, and not just because of the cut.  It was the thought of the promise they had made, the weight of the words.  Richie would take a thousand tetanus shots over dealing with It again.  

“Did it need stitches?  That looks bad, Richie,” Nancy added, furrowing her brows.  Richie waved her off.

“Nah, it was lucky.  No stitches needed,” he said.  “Didn’t even take too long to heal.”  Also false.  All the Losers were nearly ambidextrous now since it hurt to use their hand for a while after the oath.  They thought it had to do with the oath.  Some sort of magic keeping the wound from healing faster.  “Now my turn.  Anything happen in Hawkins that I don’t know about?  Nancy told me how the mall collapsed last summer.”

“Oh yes, they were lucky no one was inside,” his mom answered, frowning.  Richie saw Mike’s hand go still out of the corner of his vision.  “It’s a shame that all those stores were lost, but I’m happy for the smaller businesses.  Honestly, Hawkins has been rather quiet since the whole government business shut down.”

Richie remembered reading about that, he tried to keep up with Hawkins news when he remembered.  He hadn’t even known there was a weird lab in the woods, much less that they were putting shit in the water supply.  What was it with small towns and things happening to the water system?  Although, the sewers and the actual supply of drinking water were two rather different things.  Richie had no qualms splashing in the sewer water because it was fun to make Eddie start ranting about the greywater, but he wouldn’t drink it even if you paid him.  Well...it depended on the sum of money, honestly.  He might drink it for a million dollars.  Maybe even a hundred thousand.  Nothing less than that, though, unless it was a Loser daring him to do it.  So Richie had very little self-preservation, what else was new?  

A few minutes later, the conversation having shifted to Mike’s last few weeks of classes, Richie’s phone began to ring.  He winced as everyone turned to him.  There were no phone calls during dinner.

“Ah, crap, sorry,” he said, pulling it out of his pocket and seeing Queenie on the screen.  “I forgot I was supposed to call them after I unpacked.  Can I just text them to tell them I’ll call them back?”  

His mom pursed her lips, but thought for a moment.  “Just for tonight, you can take the call.  It’s your first night back, after all.  But please remind them not to call during dinner in the future, okay?”  

Richie grinned and nodded, hopping out of his chair and barely avoiding hitting his plate with his elbow.  He answered the call as he left the room, feeling a giddy lightness as he said, “Hey, Bevvie!”

“Richie!!  That took you a while to answer, was it a bad time?” Bev asked, and he could hear the commotion of the others behind her.  

“I mean, technically?  For future reference, I’m not allowed to answer the phone at dinner here, and we eat at 6:30, but my mom let me answer tonight,” he said.  “Enough about that, though, I miss you guys.”

“Shit, Richie honey, it’s been so quiet!” Bev said, and he heard a faint clatter as her voice got softer.  Then there was the telltale background noise of being put on speakerphone.  “Eddie’s been cursing twice as much to make up for you, though.”

“Aw, I’m flattered, shortstack,” Richie cooed, hearing Eddie’s annoyed mutterings littered with the word ‘fuck’.  “Also, guess who got clearance for Losers Take Hawkins?”

“I can’t wait to meet your brother!” Ben called from a short distance away from the phone.  

“‘Course you’ll meet him, not that you need to,” Richie returned, “you’ve got the better version.”

“Speaking as someone who has met Mike, I have to say that’s false,” Stan said.  “And no, Ben, none of the puppy eyes.  It’s been twenty-four hours, I can make fun of him again.”

“Get him to agree again, Benny, it was a blissful day of thinking I’m appreciated,” Richie said.

“Oh hush Stanley,” Bev chided, “of course we love you, Richie, trashmouth and all.”

“You know you love my-”

“-Beep beep, dick,” Bill cut him off.  “Now I know why t-today was so peaceful.  We didn’t b-beep anyone.”

“Can you imagine beeping anyone but Richie?” Mike’s voice was heard from slightly further away.  “It just feels wrong.”

“Beep beep, Mike,” Richie offered, and heard various gagging sounds.

“Okay, yeah, nope.  Not happening,” Eddie complained.  “Fucking cursed .”

“Never thought I’d say this, but please , Richie, continue to be the only Loser that gets beeped,” Stan added.  “I think if someone said it to me I would combust on the spot.”

“I’m perfectly happy to keep my title of trashmouth,” Richie said.  “And I can’t wait to make my brother’s friends regret meeting me.”

“Oh no, Richard, what did you do?” he was pretty sure that that was Stan, Bev, and Eddie talking in unison.  

“Nothing yet ,” he answered.  “I just pretended to be my brother and caused some minor chaos.  Barely even met them, although you would love Max, Bev darling.  Another spitfire redhead.  Called me cool.”

“So we know she has b-bad taste, then,” Bill said, and Richie pouted even though he knew they couldn’t see him.  

“I thought you loved me,” he whined.  “I’m getting a divorce.”

“We aren’t married?” Bill said, confused.  

“Yet,” Richie added, wishing they could see him wink.  “I just winked, by the way.”

“Oh we knew,” Ben said.  “We could tell.”

“For real, though, is it nice being home again?” Bev asked.  “I know you call us your home and then swear you’ve never said that in your life-”

“-I have never and will never be that sappy, Beverly sweetheart the love of my life-”

“-but your face when you told us about Mike said that you really like being there too.”

“Hey, real quick, how come you’re only calling Bev pet names?” Eddie cut in.  “Is anyone else feeling left the fuck out?”

“Only Bev seems to love me, that’s why,” Richie countered.  “And yeah, it’s nice.  Hawkins kinda feels the same as Derry, honestly, just uh….without a certain special thing of course.  But it’s been a long time since I’ve seen my family so...yeah.  That’s nice.”

“Just don't kill Mike or get killed in your sleep before we come visit,” Stan said.  “I know the latter might be difficult.”

“I’ll try my best, promise,” Richie said.  

“So that’s….twenty bucks on Richie being murdered before we get there?” Eddie said.  

“Oh I’m more expensive than that, honey,” Richie said, grinning.  

“Sure, keep telling that to yourself and your crocs,” Bev teased. 

“Excuse you, Ms. Marsh, my crocs are a statement ,” Richie argued.  He glanced at the living room clock and realized that he’d been talking for longer than his mom probably wanted.  He frowned.  “And on that note, I might have to call you back later.”

“Aw, Rich, really?” Mike said sadly.  “It’s only been a few minutes.”

“He said he was eating dinner when I called,” Bev explained sheepishly.  “Everyone say bye so I can turn off speaker phone.”

A chorus of goodbyes made Richie grin from ear to ear, as every last one of them said that they loved him.  He was still grinning as the background noise disappeared and Bev’s voice got louder again.

“You’ll call soon, right?  And text us?” She asked.  “It’s weird, having to text you.”

“Trust me, it’s weirder for me,” he assured her.  “And yeah, promise.  I love you, Bevvie.”

“Love you too, trashmouth.”

And with that, Richie hung up and put his phone back into his pocket.  He tried to reenter the dining room quietly, but it seemed that everyone was already looking at him when he came through the doorway.  His mom smiled and Richie frowned slightly as he made his way back to his chair.

“Uhhh...did I do something?” he asked.  

“Is there anything you’d like to share?” his mom asked, her smile knowing.  

“Oh, um, no?  I don’t think so?” Richie said.  Mike raised his eyebrows.

“Really?  Who’s ‘Bevvie’?” he asked, smirking slightly.  Richie hoped his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

“Beverly Marsh,” he answered as calmly as he could. “One of my friends.”

“Oh my god, Richie, do you have a girlfriend?” Nancy asked, her eyes widening. 

Mike scoffed.  “Richie?  A girlfriend?  I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Don’t be rude, Mike,” their mom chastised. 

“No, mom, it’s fine,” Richie said, turning to Mike.  “You don’t think I could have a girlfriend?”

“I just said that I’ll believe it when I see it,” Mike shrugged.  Richie grinned.  Before he really thought about what he was saying, he was already talking.  As usual.

“Well then believe it, Michaelangelo,” Richie said, drawing Mike’s wide and slightly disbelieving eyes.  

“Really, Richie?  Oh, that’s wonderful!” their mom exclaimed.  “Tell us about her.”

“You said her name is Beverly?” Nancy prompted.  “How did you meet her?”

“How long have you been dating?” Mike added, an odd look on his face.

“What is this, twenty questions?” Richie laughed lightly.  “It hasn’t been that long, we were friends for a while and then it just kinda happened.  She’s great, though.  Beautiful.  Pardon my french, but a total badass too.  She could definitely beat me in a fight if she wanted to.”

“That’s not exactly hard ,” Mike interjected.  Richie kicked his foot under the table.  

“You didn’t answer my question,” Nancy cut in, “how did you meet?”

Richie hadn’t felt this interrogated since his aunt and uncle saw him covered in shit after the sewer incident.  At least this was more positive, though.  He tried to never seem sappy, but it was hard to not gush about people he loved.  

“It was pretty dang memorable,” Richie said, laughing.  “Bill had invited her to the quarry with us in passing after she helped us pay for-” shoplift “-some things, but none of us expected her to show up.  We were five random boys and she didn’t know any of us except for maybe Ben?  Briefly?  But we were standing at the quarry, which if you’ll remember, mom, is much shorter than the one here, totally safe to jump off of.  So we were standing there, debating who would go first, and she comes up behind us, calls us all wimps, and takes a running leap off the edge.”

“Okay, yeah, that definitely sounds like the type of girl you’d be into,” Mike said.  “Infinitely cooler than you.”

“She is very cool,” Richie agreed.  

“Will she be coming to visit with your friends?” his mom asked.  Richie nodded.

“Yeah, she will be.”  It was at that moment that Richie felt a chill down his spine.  Oh.  Oh he had fucked up.  Shit .  He had been so caught up in proving Mike wrong and gushing over Beverly that he had taken his plan and thrown it out the window.  His grip on his fork got a little tighter, but his smile didn’t drop.  He couldn’t take it back now, after all.  He was pretty sure Mike noticed, though.  But he didn’t say anything, and the rest of dinner consisted of a few more questions about Beverly and then back to the old topic of how the end of school went.  Richie over-exaggerated how much his friends had to force him to study, but he had an image to keep up.  Even if his mom already knew that he was getting A’s easily, it was the principle of the thing.  But then, finally, dinner was done and Richie was cleaning his plate as fast as he could before darting back upstairs under the guise of finishing unpacking.  

He really shouldn’t’ve been surprised that Mike entered the room only a few moments after him.  He didn’t even have time to take out his phone.  

“Why’d you lie to mom?” Mike asked, sitting down on his bed.  Richie raised his eyebrows.

“About what?”  He countered.  “She asked a lot of questions.”

“That implies you lied about multiple things, but okay.  Your hand.” Mike leaned forward.  “It wasn’t an accident, was it?  You’re clumsy, but that’s a big scar and looks intentional.”

Richie frowned into his suitcase, his back to Mike.  Fuck.  If Mike noticed he had lied about that , then what other lies would he notice?  This was so much easier over text.  

“So what do you think happened, Oh Great Scar Whisperer?”

“I don’t know,” Mike admitted.  “But I’d rather not speculate.”

“Okay then, I cut it on purpose,” Richie said bluntly.  “It was fucking stupid, but I wanted to make Bill feel better.  So I swore that I’d help him try to find Georgie.”  Close enough to the truth.  He didn’t really want to get into the multitudes of missing kids, or the idea that it might happen again.  As far as everyone was concerned, Henry Bowers was dead and the kidnappings died with him.  To Mike, the idea of that blood oath might make him more concerned.  

“...oh,” Mike said.  “Why didn’t you tell me you got a girlfriend?”

The topic change was not subtle in the slightest, but it was appreciated.  What wasn’t appreciated was that Mike actually sounded hurt .  Like Richie hadn’t wanted so badly to tell Mike when he fell head over heels, like there weren’t so many other factors keeping his mouth shut for once.  

“Why haven’t you mentioned anything about your own relationship?” Richie countered.  

“Can you never just answer a question?” Mike sighed.  “But, touché I guess.  El and I, uh, broke up.  At the beginning of the school year.  It was a mutual thing, we’re still close, we just realized that we didn’t actually...like each other like that anymore.  I didn’t mention it because it just kind of...happened.  Not much changed, we just weren’t dating anymore.  Didn’t really think about it.”

“Well...it’s kinda the same here,” Richie said, “just the opposite.  We were friends first, so not much changed.  We weren’t really sure if it would work out, too, so I didn’t want to say something only for us to go back to just friends after a month or so.”

“How long have you been dating?  You skirted around that question downstairs.”

“Little over a year,” Richie answered.  “And, uh, I also didn’t want mom to know we’re dating.”

“Why not?  She’s thrilled.”

“Because, that’s the problem.  I didn’t want her to treat Bev like my girlfriend when she comes to visit,” Richie groaned, turning to face Mike.  “Before anything, she’s one of my six best friends.  I loved her platonically long before we were dating.  I didn’t want mom to give her the girlfriend treatment and ignore that we’re not exactly a…’normal’ relationship.”

For multiple reasons.  Reasons that he needed to text the Losers about if Mike would just let him have his freakout in private!   

Luckily, Mike seemed to get that Richie wanted to unpack alone and think.  He gave Richie a sympathetic and slightly understanding smile (not that Mike could ever really understand Richie’s current predicament, but the thought was appreciated), and said he’d be back later.  He was going to go talk to his own friends in the basement.  As soon as the door closed behind him, Richie was grabbing for his phone.

Loser and Lover are synonyms

Roachie: haha uh

Roachie: guess what

Roachie: i might have minorly fucked up

Chapter Text

Loser and Lover are synonyms

Stabley: Okay, so you either burned your house down or did something completely inconsequential.  Which one is it?

Roachie: fuck, stan, idk

Roachie: in the middle?  

Roachie: the Plan has gone out the fucking window

Angel: what happened, Richie?  

Angel: its only been a few hours!

Squedward: that's nothing for richie

Squedward: what ruined the plan?

Roachie: my family heard the end of our phone call and asked if bev is my girlfriend

Roachie: and i was so caught up in the emotions of talking to you guys that i forgot i lived in a world where a plan was even needed

Roachie: and then my brother joked that he didn’t believe i could get a girlfriend

Roachie: so i said yes without thinking and then the floodgates were fucking opened

Queenie: oh richie

Queenie: im flattered that i caused the plan to backfire

Queenie: but im sorry

Queenie: i know you were worried

Stabley: It’s okay, Rich, the plan wasn’t the be all end all.  

Country boy I love youuu: yeah, richie, it’ll work out!  

Roachie: haha yeah, sure, I believe that bc now my brother definitely thinks im straight!

Bi-bi-billy: we’ll figure something out, Richie.

Roachie: …

Roachie: you guys aren’t mad?

Squedward: i

Squedward: why would we be mad?

Roachie: my family now thinks im dating Bev?

Roachie: only Bev?

Angel: of course we aren’t mad!

Angel: i think its sweet that you couldn’t lie about not dating bev

Queenie: we’ll make it work, hon

Queenie: we’ll make a new plan

Stabley: It's not like we weren’t aware that we’d have to ‘play it straight’ when we visited, so to speak.

Stabley: As far as Hawkins would be aware, none of us are dating anyway.

Country boy I love youuu: i think richie is worried about us watching them get to act normal while we need to pretend 

Bi-bi-billy: oh

Bi-bi-billy: oh rich

Roachie: just expose me like that huh mike

Country boy I love youuu: i do it because i care, richie

Country boy I love youuu: now we’re on the same page

Roachie: how can you even do that when im so far away?  I cant reach you guys like that.

Country boy I love youuu: this time its nothing more than me knowing you, richie

Squedward: richie, that's really sweet

Squedward: and i will make fun of you for it eventually

Squedward: but we’ll be okay

Angel: is it gonna be difficult?  Yeah of course

Angel: but its only when we’re around other people

Stabley: You'll just have to make up for it when we aren’t around others.

Roachie: oh??? ;););)

Stabley: No.

Stabley: I take back everything.

Roachie: stanny baby no

Roachie: does this mean you wont cuddle me

Stabley: I’m not cruel, Richie.

Bi-bi-billy: hes been smiling since mike exposed you, rich

Bi-bi-billy: its very soft

Roachie: awwwwww stan loves me

Stabley: Fine, I love all of you, Richie isn’t special.

Angel: richie is very special

Angel: we all are!

Roachie: i am love ben

Queenie: we are all love ben

Squedward: loving ben hours are all the time

Bi-bi-billy: facts!

Angel: aww guys <3

Angel: i love you all too <3

Roachie: FUCK

Roachie: i wanna hug one of you :(

Roachie: id settle for literally just being in the same room

Country boy I love youuu: soft richie is my favorite richie

Squedward: hes always soft 

Country boy I love youuu: exactly

Roachie: michael hanlon you are not helping with my loserless existence over here

Roachie: how am i gonna be able to sleep when you all keep running through my mind

Roachie: if you know what i mean ;)

Angel: well, we’ve never had to test it over the phone, but i could try and call and help?  If you wanted?  Unless that was just a joke and you’ll be fine going to sleep.

Roachie: ben is my only boyfriend now

Bi-bi-billy: wow fuck me then i guess

Stabley: What the fuck, Richard.

Country boy I love youuu: :(

Squedward: you cant get rid of us that easily fucker

Roachie: the point of ben being my only boyfriend is that i will not fuck you, billiam

Roachie: but mikes frowny face broke me so youre all my boyfriends again

Stabley: What if you’re no longer my boyfriend now?

Roachie: then ill cry

Stabley: Don’t you fucking dare, trashmouth.

Bi-bi-billy: if you cry then he’ll cry but he’ll swear hes not

Stabley: BILL.

Roachie: Stannys name is no longer accurate

Roachie: must be fixed

Roachie changed Stabley ’s name to they must not know i’m soft

they must not know i’m soft: Do you have an allergy to proper grammar and capitalization?

Squedward: i probably do

they must not know i’m soft: Not what I meant but thank you, Eddie.  I can’t look at this, though.

they must not know i’m soft changed their name to I’m soft, fuckers

I’m soft, fuckers: There we go.

Country boy I love youuu: oh my god stanley i love you

Roachie: i also love stanley and would love to keep talking about that

Roachie: but what are we gonna do about me fucking up

Squedward: go along with it?  I thought that was already decided that we were fine with it

Roachie: ok so just

Roachie: ignore the fact that i made it so much harder for myself

Bi-bi-billy: no, but we’ll help you think of something else

Queenie: its gonna be harder, but you already thought hed be fine with it!

Roachie: i know but ughhhh

Roachie: i wanted to ease him into it

Roachie: ‘hey bro i like dudes’

Roachie: ‘hey mikey i have a boyfriend’

Roachie: ‘yo i actually have multiple boyfriends’

Roachie: ‘haha guess what im dating my whole friend group isnt that wild’

I’m soft, fuckers: Richie, listen to me.  It will be okay.  

I’m soft, fuckers: If I know Mike at all, and I know you know him better than me but I’ve still talked to him quite a bit, then I know that he will be caught off guard no matter how much easing you did.  

I’m soft, fuckers: He might think it’s weird.  But honestly?  It is, and we all know it.  Normal relationships aren’t brought on by what brought us together.  Normal people don’t do what we do.  Well, normal people are fucking boring.  I’d pick loving the six of you over a ‘normal’ relationship any day, even though I joke about running away to a white picket fence and a wife and some birds.  

I’m soft, fuckers: But Mike is your brother, and that counts for something.  He knows you’re weird already, he knows Bill and Eddie and I would back you up in anything, and he’ll see that the same is true for the ones he doesn’t know.  I’d be surprised if he doesn’t come around about it.  

I’m soft, fuckers: And if he doesn’t, I’ll deck him.

Queenie: holy shit stan

Bi-bi-billy: if I wasn’t a goner beforehand...

Country boy I love youuu: ...

Country boy I love youuu: ... richie

Country boy I love youuu: are you crying?

Roachie: HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL, MIKE

Roachie: YOURE EIGHTENEN HOURE AWAY

Roachie: STANLY FUCKGN URIS

Roachie: YOU MOTHERFUCKER

Squedward: i was under the impression that you were the mother fucker here, honey

Roachie: im

Roachie: tell my dumb brother he gets nothign in my will

Roachie: im leaign it all to the six bastards who killed me dead

Roachie: im DYING

Roachie: i cant even KISS ANY OF YOU

Roachie: billy youre with staniel rn right

Roachie: kiss him for me

Roachie: and the next person to see eddie better do the same

Bi-bi-billy: done and done

Queenie: im sneakin out to baby boys house rn

Squedward: b e v

Angel: ooh eddie are you blushing

Country boy I love youuu: he always does when we call him that

Roachie: baby BOYYYYY

Roachie: micycle can you feel how much i love you guys

Country boy I love youuu: as much as i want to answer yes, youre too far away

Country boy I love youuu: but i remember what it felt like, so technically i still feel it

Queenie: baby boy has been kissed and is very red

Roachie: good

Squedward: bev get the fuck back here youre not wandering around this late

Squedward: sneak out in the morning

Squedward: you shouldnt have even snuck out to come here, its dangerous :(

Queenie: fineeee

Queenie: only bc youre cute when you get worried

Bi-bi-billy: ok but like,,he does have a bit of a point

Bi-bi-billy: i.e.: derry sucks

Roachie: you know what else sucks?

Squedward: sigh

Squedward: my mom?

Roachie: i was actually gonna say the fact that i hear my brother coming back upstairs

Roachie: but if you insist!

Roachie: thank you for reminding me of my lovely mistress

I’m soft, fuckers: I'm pretty sure you're the mistress, Richie.

Roachie: and i do such a good job of it

Roachie: now lets hope good old michael doesnt notice ive been fucking crying lmao

I’m soft, fuckers: Go to sleep, Nightingale.

I’m soft, fuckers: In fact, everyone go to sleep.  We can talk in the morning.

Angel: if this works, then sleep well, richie sweetheart <3

Roachie: a pet name from ben AND stan,,,,,ok i can sleep happy now

Roachie: insomnia can suck my dick

Roachie: ive got the power of ben and these fucking nerds on my side

Bi-bi-billy: you are definitely a nerd too richie

Bi-bi-billy: but! I agree with our reluctant softie over here.

Bi-bi-billy: baby bird and i are gonna go now

Queenie: eddie fell asleep the moment i started cuddling him so he cant say it but goodnight loves

Country boy I love youuu: I know you cant feel it like i can, but i love you all and hope you sleep well :) <3

Angel: we might not feel it, but we know mikey

Roachie: not to be sappy on main or anything but

Roachie: yeah

Roachie: i love you guys

Roachie: and girl

Roachie: total babes all of you

Roachie: hope im in your dreams ;)

Richie lay back on his bed as Mike reentered the room.  He didn’t know how red his eyes were and he didn’t want Mike to ask why he’d been crying.  Richie was emotional, sure, but he still tried not to cry in front of people that often.  He just didn’t like it.  But he hadn’t been able to stop it, not when Stan was being so smart about everything and everyone was being so sincere.  He knew they loved him, they had for over a year at least, but it still made him slightly giddy when they all just...said so.  Said they loved him, called him pet names, said they missed him.  It made that part of Richie’s brain that had been spotlighted by It quiet down and give him some fucking peace.  The part that had told him he majorly fucked up and that Mike would never understand Richie’s relationship now that the plan was fucked, which Stan just debunked very helpfully.  

“Hey, Richie?” Mike asked from below.

“What’s up?”

“My friends are coming over tomorrow to finish this leg of our D&D game, if you wanted to hang out in the basement with us,” he said.  “Might be boring just watching, but I doubt you’ve lost your ability to find something to do literally anywhere.”

“Nah, sounds fun, man,” Richie replied.  “I mean, someone cool needs to supervise the nerd game.”

“Bitch.”

“Bastard.”

A beat, and then - “Night, Richie.  Glad you’re back.”

“I knew you’d admit it,” Richie teased.  He let Mike stew before replying, “Glad to be back.”

Then he lay there and waited.  The night sky was drifting in through the window and he heard Mike settle into the bottom bunk.  He had been right in the chat, sleep was staying at arms length as if repelled by Richie’s constant thoughts about his Losers.  But he just had to wait a little longer and then he could fix that.   After around half an hour of daydreaming, he heard Mike start lightly snoring (which he insisted he didn’t do).  He then pulled his phone from its small bedside pocket and texted Ben.  Within seconds, his phone was ringing and Richie answered it instantly to avoid waking Mike up.  

“Hey angel,” Richie greeted softly.  Ben giggled on the other end.

“Hey loverboy,” he teased.  “How’s the girlfriend?”

“Benny, I thought you were on my side in this!” Richie protested with a grin on his face.  His voice was barely a whisper, but he was trying hard to hold back a laugh.  

“Oh I am, I would have done the same thing,” Ben assured him.  “But it is very funny.”

“Gang up on poor trashmouth, I see how it is,” Richie pouted.  “After you keep him up at night with your stupid sincere words.”

“Hey, that’s why I’m here, right?” Ben said.  “Or, at least, I hope so.  We’ve never tried this over the phone.”

“Experimentation is key, dear Benjamin,” Richie said, lying back against his pillow and resting his phone by his head.  “Use those sexy pipes of yours.”

“You’re awful,” Ben laughed.  

“You love me,” Richie said, sing-song.  

“Of course I do,” Ben replied softly.  “Now lets see if this works.”

The next words that Ben spoke were layered in a way that was unmistakable.  To others, it might sound normal if they weren’t listening that closely, but the Losers had heard it many times as they were doing their original experimentation.  It was Ben’s normal tone, with a layer that was higher pitched and a layer that was lower pitched, all overlapping each other.  It gave his voice a bit of an echoing quality, one that reverberated through Richie’s head as he shut his eyes and listened.  

“ Rest your head and shut your eyes

The night, it falls outside

Forget your troubles, worries, fears,

Sleep tight, my dear, till morningtide.”

It was short, sweet, and to the point.  Written fast, at a sleepover a few months ago, but written with a purpose nonetheless.  And with the added layering permeating Richie’s mind, he felt it tugging him into sleep.  A sweet, dreamless sleep that would last until the sun broke through the window.  Richie didn’t resist at all.  He let Ben lull him into the darkness, and by the end of the final word, he was out.  

Light snoring made its way through the phone, and Ben smiled.  So it did work.  

“Good night, love,” he whispered, knowing Richie couldn’t hear him.  

Then he hung up, and fell asleep himself.  

Chapter Text

Richie woke up when the sun hit his eyes through the window, a grin on his face.  He hadn’t dreamed, but he could feel the words of that poem in his mind throughout the entire night.  It felt like it did when he was in Bill’s living room, or Mike’s farm, and every other Loser was surrounding him.  Warm.  As much of a home as the building he was in right now.

Mike was already awake and out of the room, which was expected, so Richie took his time getting out of bed and grabbing his glasses and picking out clothes that actually were from his wardrobe instead of Stan’s.  Then he trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Nancy was eating at the table while texting someone.  She had a small smile on her face.

“Ooh, Nance, texting the beau?” he teased, picking an apple out of the fruit bowl.  Nancy flushed slightly, immediately setting her phone face down on the table.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Mr. ‘wasn’t going to mention he had a girlfriend’,” she shot back.  Richie leaned heavily against the wall, sighing loudly.

“Oh, I feel simply dreadful , dahling,” he simpered, exaggerating his accent.  Nancy shot him a look and he groaned, pushing his glasses back up his nose as he moved away from the wall.  He slumped into a seat near her and leaned on the table.  “Alright, girl talk, let's get this over with.  Periods, am I right?”

“Not funny, dweeb,” Nancy reached over to flick the side of his head, and he stuck his tongue out at her.  “I’m just trying to do my sisterly duties here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Richie shrugged.  “Not to get too real here, because ew emotions, but I literally didn’t even think to mention her because we’re best friends who happen to be dating.”  Not...entirely true, but not untrue either.  Bev was definitely his girlfriend, he loved her dearly, but they acted the same as they were before they all started dating just with another added layer.  

“That’s...very you ,” Nancy said, laughing a little.  “God, this is like trying to get Mike to tell me about El all over again.  At least I didn't have to deal with this at the same time.”

“Well if beating Mikey means telling you everything, then consider me an open book,” Richie said, grinning conspiratorially.  “Wanna know the spicy details?”

“Ew, Richie, no, god ,” Nancy put her head in her hands and Richie laughed.  He’d never say it, but there really wasn’t the amount of ‘spicy details’ that he was implying.  “I just want to know about her.  You’ve never dated before, I didn’t even really think you were interested in that despite all your jokes to the contrary.”

I wasn’t , Richie thought, not really.  Not before them.  

But he couldn’t just say that.  

“Well I’m gonna need a more specific question than that, or we’ll be here all day,” Richie said.  “And I gotta go harass some nerds downstairs soon.”

“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you,” Nancy said, rolling her eyes.  “But, as you put it, ‘girl talk’.  You met her at the quarry, how’d you get together?”

“It just...happened,” Richie said, shrugging.  “Obviously it was me who said something, definitely not her to make the move, definitely me who kissed her , you get how it is.”

It had been Bev to kiss him first.  He just hadn’t been the first of the Losers she kissed.  And she wasn't the first Loser he kissed.  But between the two of them, she had kissed him first.  

“Oh of course, of course,” Nancy said sarcastically.  “So you say you hate Derry, what kind of dates do you go on?”

“Why, planning on taking Jonathan on a romantic vacay?” Richie asked.  Nancy made a face.

“If I did, we’d go to a beach or something,” she said.  “Not Maine.  Just curious, seeing as the only real date spot here is the movies.”

“Movies are a given,” Richie said.  “But there’s the quarry and the Barrens, the park and our houses.  Ice cream.  Not much, but we don’t really want super fancy stuff.”

If Richie had his way, he’d deck the loves of his life in suits and a stunning dress and take them to a fancy restaurant.  Maybe in New York.  But a seven-person date really wasn’t feasible.  Not yet anyway.

“That’s sweet,” Nancy said.  “You sound like you really like her.”

Before he could think through it, he was saying, “I think she’s the only girl I’ll ever like.”

Nancy was looking at him, really looking at him.  He suddenly wished he could backtrack and add that there were other people he loved too, but that would add more questions.  He’d never love any girl the same way he loved Bev, and he never wanted to, but he wished he hadn’t said that to Nancy.  He was fifteen, it had to be weird to find your fucking soulmate(s) so young, right?  She was gonna think he was just jumping into his first relationship headfirst, she had no idea of the connection between the Losers.  

But Nancy just smiled.  “I’m happy for you, Rich.  She seems great.”

“She’s awesome,” Richie said.  

Silence stretched between them, and then Nancy nodded down at the apple he had taken.

“Is that Beverly’s influence?” she asked.  “Eating healthy?”

Richie scoffed.  “Fuck no, this is all Stan and Eddie.  And Ben’s puppy eyes.  Bev’s just as bad as me.”

“I suppose I need to thank Stan and Eddie when they get here for keeping you from dying of malnutrition, then,” Nancy said, taking a sip of her coffee.  

“Oh definitely,” Richie said, standing up.  “And trust me, you’ll love Bev.”

“I’m sure I will,” Nancy said.  “Now go piss off Mike for me.”

“It’s what I do best,” Richie said, grinning. He practically skipped out of the kitchen and over to the basement, opening the door loudly and hopping down the steps.  Six sets of eyes turned to look at him as he jumped off the stairs and leaned against the railing with a grin.

“Sup nerds,” he said.  “Any ERP yet?”

“First off, gross,” Mike said, making a face, “second, the fact that you know what that is makes you a nerd too, dipshit.”

“Wow,” Max said.  “That is...a shirt.”

He looked down and grinned at his horrifically patterned shirt.  It looked like the floor of a bowling alley with the saturation turned to 200.  Bill had gotten it for him for his birthday.  It was one of his favorites.

“I know right?” He replied brightly.  “It’s great.”

Then he made his way across the room and flopped onto the couch, motioning for them to continue playing.  As he listened to Will continue the story, he figured out that alongside the classes that he was already aware of (Mike and Lucas and Dustin, from years of previous sessions relayed to him by Mike), Max was a dragonborn rogue, and El was a tiefling sorcerer.  Not that he knew what that meant.  He didn’t play DND.  He wasn’t dragged into playing it when Ben got interested and got that bright look in his eyes that none of them could say no to.  He didn’t play an elf bard and flirt with everything to make Ben or another Loser flirt back and get flustered (or make him flustered, which definitely didn’t happen either).  He definitely didn’t have a lot of fun.  

He got his brilliant idea when they were taking a break and Richie pulled out his phone. He paused, then looked up at Mike, who was studying the game map.

“Hey, Mikey,” he said.  Mike looked up and saw the expression on his face, sighing.

“What’s your idea?” he asked reluctantly.  

“You’ll see,” Richie replied.  “It's a good one, promise.”

Then he opened a new chat on his phone.

Losers take Hawkins

Trashman added Michaelangelo and Free Willy to the chat

Trashman: you add your people ill add mine

He saw Mike pull out his own phone and sigh.

Michaelangelo: this is going to be chaos

Trashman: exactly

Trashman added Benny Handsome, Marshall’s, Pasta Boy, Staniel Urine, I’m just a Bill, and The Better Mike to the chat

Michaelangelo: oh fuck you dude

Free Willy: ooh this’ll be fun

Free Willy added Dustbin, SINclair, Mad Max, and Bitchin to the chat

Dustbin: what is happening

Staniel Urine: Richie, fuck you.

Staniel Urine changed their name to Stanley

Trashman: ugh but that's boring!!!!

Marshall’s: cmon stanny

Marshall’s: be fun

Pasta Boy: i cant decide if this is better or worse than fucking ‘spagheddie’

Trashman: says the one who willingly named himself ‘squedward’ in the other chat

Pasta Boy: HA

Pasta Boy: ‘willingly’

Pasta Boy: i lost a fucking bet and you know it

Free Willy: its better, eddie

Free Willy: also, hi eddie!  Hi stan! Hi bill!

I’m just a Bill: hey will!

The Better Mike: sorry richie’s brother

The Better Mike: because that's who im assuming you are

The Better Mike: but the nickname has spoken

Michaelangelo: oh man its weird to be referred to as ‘richies brother’

Mad Max: can i get some introductions please

Mad Max: i have no idea who you people are

Trashman: you all know me now, i am the better twin

Michaelangelo: keep fucking telling yourself that

Michaelangelo: hi to the three people i don’t know: I’m richies brother mike

The Better Mike: i am also a Mike!  Mike Hanlon, hi, nice to meet you all!

Stanley: Stanley Uris, I go by Stan, not whatever asinine nickname Richie says.

Trashman: Stangela

Trashman: Andrea Uris showed me your birth certificate and it says Stangela on it

I’m just a Bill: i can confirm, i was there

I’m just a Bill: im Bill if that wasn’t obvious

I’m just a Bill: Richies best friend

Pasta Boy: wow just gonna claim that title yourself huh

I’m just a Bill: yeah because its true

Trashman: ladies ladies theres plenty of me to go around

Pasta Boy: fuck off richie

Pasta Boy: anyway hi people i don't know, im eddie

Pasta Boy: if richie calls me eds, hit him for me

Trashman: im wounded, eds

Trashman: but in other news!!!

Trashman: where is benjamin?  Where is sweet ben?

The Better Mike: oh shit lol he passed out on my couch

The Better Mike: hold on ill wake him, he’ll want to meet yall

Benny Handsome: oh!!! Hi!!!! Sorry about that

Marshall’s: its a okay ben

Benny Handsome: im sure youve all gathered by now but im ben!  Its always nice to meet new people!

Marshall’s: and im Beverly, aka the only cool one because im the only girl

Marshall’s: now for you hawkins people

Marshall’s: what do you think of our richie

Stanley: It’s okay to say he sucks.

Trashman: oh I suck do i staniel?

Marshall’s: nope, nope, new people here hon

Marshall’s: they don't need to see the full extent of the trashmouth just yet

Michaelangelo: oh, you’re richies girlfriend, right?

Marshall’s: oh, yeah!

Marshall’s: he wasnt planning on saying anything, i cant believe it didn't even take a day before he cracked lmao

Trashman: wow i made this to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

Free Willy: Richie has a girlfriend?

Free Willy: when did this happen?

Free Willy: also hi Derry people, I’m Will!

Free Willy: ive been friends with mike and richie since kindergarten :)

Trashman: thank you for only asking when it happened and not disbelieving that i could even have a girlfriend like some people

Stanley: That is...not a properly structured sentence at all.  

Stanley: But I have given up on trying.

Benny Handsome: so i guess, Will would be richies oldest friend?  Sorry bill

I’m just a Bill: its ok, i conceded to my fellow william years ago

The Better Mike: please stop reminding us your name is william, its weird

Marshall’s: you’re bill, not william, ew

Pasta Boy: oh ew is bill calling himself william again

Stanley: Please don’t, Bill, we all know what your name really is.  Stop trying to lie to us.

Trashman: stan the man please come through for me here im beggin you

Stanley: Billiam Denbrough.

Trashman: AND HE DID IT FOLKS

Trashman: STAN URIS WITH THE HOME FUCKING RUN

I’m just a Bill: i

I’m just a Bill: i don't even know what to say

Michaelangelo: just walk it off, bill

I’m just a Bill: some days you people respect me and then this shit happens

Mad Max: you’re getting respect?  Man i wish that was me

Dustbin: so do something worth respecting

SINclair: dustin, my man, i say this as gently as possible…

SINclair: run

Mad Max: DO I NEED TO FUCKIN BEAT YOUR DIG DUG SCORE AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER?

Mad Max: OR PERHAPS DIG DUG YOUR FUCKIN BODY INTO THE DIRT?

Marshall’s: are you Max? Richie said id like you

Marshall’s: and so far - hell yeah rock on

Mad Max: HELLO I LIKE YOU TOO I JUST GOTTA COMMIT MURDER REAL QUICK

Marshall’s: understandable have a nice day

Dustbin: hey uhhhhh el??? Can you fuckignggn

Michaelangelo: that was…

Michaelangelo: a very loud slam

Michaelangelo: is everything okay up there?

SINclair: yeah we're good, max just tackled dustin but theyre fine

SINclair: anyway hi im lucas

SINclair: i just learned mike had a brother yesterday and its still fucking weird

Pasta Boy: the fact that none of us are at all fazed by literally tackling someone says a lot about these two friend groups

Trashman: yeah it says we know how to have a good time

Trashman: don't act like you didn’t launch yourself at bill like a monkey just last week

Pasta Boy: i told him we shouldnt fucking play monopoly anymore!!!!!  Its his fault when he insists and then makes stupid fucking trades before acting like its our fault hes bankrupt!!!!!

I’m just a Bill: yeah ok blame me mr ‘im gonna try to bribe stan ’ 

Marshall’s: don't worry lucas i just learned that richie had a brother and wasn’t actually from derry a few days ago so i know how you feel

Michaelangelo: dude you didn't even tell your girlfriend?

Trashman: …

Trashman: dUdE, yOu DiDnT eVeN tElL yOuR gIrLfRiEnD?

Trashman: sorry which one of us is the one that actually still lives in hawkins and managed to not tell his friends i was visiting?

Trashman: anyway ive got an excuse 

Trashman: and that excuse is-

Trashman: im an idiot

Benny Handsome: in richies defense he did mention another mike occasionally and i think we all just forgot to ask 

Loser and Lover are synonyms

Angel: call yourself an idiot again richie and im gonna run to hawkins and you cant stop me

Queenie: seconded

Queenie: only we are allowed to call you an idiot

Squedward: self deprecating hours are 9-10pm on sunday only, dipshit

Squedward: that shit isnt allowed

Roachie: jeez ok fine ill stick to the schedule

Roachie: sorry for saying im an idiot

Bi-bi-billy: you should be

Bi-bi-billy: i saw your test scores and so i know its just not true

Roachie: aww ive got myself a stalker

Bi-bi-billy: its not stalking if our teacher gave me your test bc you decided to skip and go smoke with bev

Queenie: those were good days

Queenie: and it wasnt always smoking

Roachie: yeah sometimes we just made out

I’m soft, fuckers: How many times have I told you two to just go to class?  We all talk during class anyway, it’s not like we pay attention.

Queenie: ben does

Angel: yeah and then i give you all my notes 

Queenie: and i love you for it baby

Losers take Hawkins

Mad Max: ok im back

Mad Max: i did not kill dustin

Mad Max: but i did assert my dominance and that's what matters here

Mad Max: so hi everyone im the cool one here

Marshall’s: finally someone who understands

Dustbin: sHE FUCKING LOCKED ME OUTSIDE

Dustbin: ok el let me back in 

Dustbin: max is dead to me, el is the only girl in the party

Bitchin: i can relock the door

Dustbin: fine max is no longer dead to me

Dustbin: hi friends of cooler wheeler, im dustin

Stanley: Please don't call Richie cool, it goes to his head.

Trashman: im offended you would even imply that

Trashman: i am incredibly humble

Trashman: and also i have a great head

Trashman: eddies mom said so just the other day

Pasta Boy: FUCK

Pasta Boy: ONE DAY

Pasta Boy: JUST ONE FUCKING DAY PLEASE

The Better Mike: richie!!! No!!! 

Marshall’s: do i need to bring the spray bottle when we come visit

Trashman: ooh kinky

I’m just a Bill: beep BEEP richard 

Trashman: listen if i say kinky in irl, i get kicked in the shin, im taking it when i can get it

Michaelangelo: ‘in irl’

Trashman: i said what i said, michael

Mad Max: do you guys actually have a spray bottle like hes a cat or something

Stanley: Yes.  

Stanley: It’s usually at Bill’s house.  

I’m just a Bill: its labelled ‘richie’s shame juice’ which is admittedly terrible but bev and i were a little high when we labelled it

Michaelangelo: that is...awful

Michaelangelo: also, @the fucking party, get back downstairs, our break ended five minutes ago and we have a dungeon to get through

Benny Handsome: what are you playing?

Trashman: theyre playing dnd :/

Loser and Lover are synonyms

Angel: THEYRE PLAYING DND???

Angel: CAN WE PLAY AGAIN 

Angel: LATER THIS SUMMER

Angel: PLEASE 

Squedward: oh boy

I’m soft, Fuckers: It was rather fun the first time.

Country boy, I love youuu: of course, benny! 

Roachie: ohoh!! 

Roachie: i have found a perk to being eighteen hours away

Roachie: immunity to the puppy eyes of one ben hanscom

Roachie: and therefore - the ability to insist that i did not have fun the first time

Queenie: are you sure about that?

Queenie: bill!

Bi-bi-billy: way ahead of you bevvie

Bi-bi-billy: intheeyesoftheangels.jpg

Roachie: …

Roachie: fuck :(

Roachie: guess we’re playing dnd again

Chapter Text

Watching the Party continue their campaign ended up with Richie coming to two conclusions.  Number one, he had truly relaxed for one of the first times since It.  He, of course, felt far more comfortable around the Losers, and they knew that they would all keep each other safe, but being out of Derry had done wonders for the perpetual feeling that he was being watched.  Number two, he needed to get the others to Hawkins as soon as possible.  And if he was being honest, it wasn’t entirely because he wanted them to relax too.  It had been only one day and he missed them like a limb was gone.  It was so...quiet.  He tried hard not to grin widely at his phone too much, knowing that Mike or one of the others would ask him what he was looking at, and he could only answer ‘porn’ so many times before they decided to just see for themselves.  But he couldn’t help himself.  The others were texting him pictures and snippets from their conversation, keeping him involved as they hung out in person.  The image of Bill sitting in Ben’s lap brought a smile to his face on its own, not even counting the video Bev sent of Stan and Eddie in a passionate argument over the right way to fold a shirt.  He barely noticed when Mike went upstairs to wave his friends off as they went home, caught up in messaging the special group chat they have for when Eddie did something cute - Ben sent a photo of Eddie leaning his forehead onto Stan’s chest as the argument ended, his face flushed and his arms crossed.  They have a group chat for each of the Losers being cute, and Richie had tried multiple times to bribe someone into showing him what they’re saying in his chat, but none of them had cracked.  Yet.  

He had to notice when Mike came back downstairs, though.  He sat heavily on the couch and shoved Richie’s feet to the floor so they weren’t digging against his side.  Then he leaned back with a sigh.  

“So, uh, my friends are gone,” he said awkwardly.  Richie raised his eyebrows.

“Are they?  I hadn’t noticed!” He grinned cheekily and watched as Mike rolled his eyes.  

“Fuck you,” he said, his voice devoid of heat.  “Can we talk?”

Richie blinked, turning his phone off and shifting to sit a little straighter.  “What about?”

“Derry.” Mike raised his eyes to look at Richie head on, and saw as Richie briefly stiffened before slumping back into the cushions.  

“Ugh,” he groaned.  “If we have to.”

“We do,” Mike agreed, “we do have to.”

“Fine,” Richie reluctantly acquiesced.  “What do you want to know?  The town sucks.”

“Start from the beginning, dude, all that shit you said about Bowers and Child Murder Capital...it’s a bit worrying,” Mike said.  

“Well,” Richie sighed, “you already know that Bowers was the peak of an absolute dickhead.  But, uh, I forget just how much you know about that.  I told you he broke Eddie’s arm once, and I definitely told you all the times he shoved me against lockers and cornered me around town, but I’m almost definitely sure I didn’t tell you what he did to Ben.”

“No,” Mike said, frowning, “you didn’t.  You told me the story of him trying to hit your Mike with a rock, but nothing about Ben.”

“Okay, awesome, I’m getting a bit ahead of everything,” Richie said.  “It all mainly starts three years ago.  With...with Georgie.”

“If you can’t talk about anything because it's personal and Bill isn’t here, I get it,” Mike cut in.  “It’s totally fine.”

Richie shook his head.  “Nah, man, I know he’d be fine with me telling you.  Will, too, but probably not the rest of your friends.  Not until he knows them.”

“Understandable,” Mike said.  “And when they come visit, I’ll try to make sure no one accidentally brings it up somehow.”

“Thanks.” Richie flashed a quick grin.  It dropped as soon as he got back onto the topic.  “Anyway, yeah.  Bill got sick, so Georgie went out playing by himself and then...never came home.  It was a huge blow to Eddie, Stan and I too, we loved the kid like he was our little brother.  You know all this, though.  What you don’t know is that he wasn’t the only kid to go missing that summer.  There were a few others.  And kids continued to go missing all leading up to the next summer where things really kicked off.  Police didn’t give a shit, they looked for a while before giving up and just plastering missing posters everywhere.  But the names kept coming that next summer too, two years ago.  Betty Ripsom, Patrick Hockstetter, and...for such a short amount of time that no one but us knew she was gone...Beverly.”

“Oh shit ,” Mike breathed.  

“Yeah,” Richie agreed.  “And we wouldn’t’ve known she was gone if it weren’t for Bill.  Anyway, they declared Georgie dead after he had been missing for a few months, and that crushed Bill.  You only heard my retellings of it, you never saw him, but...man, he was a wreck.  And he refused to believe that Georgie was dead.  I know you can understand that, after what happened with Will.  So that summer, a year after he disappeared, Bill was determined to find him.”

“That’s when you cut your hand?” Mike asked.  Richie looked down at the scar, feeling the faint throb that it sometimes got as if it was a new cut still.  

“Yeah, I cut my hand that summer,” he said.  He was trying to outright lie as little as possible, because he knew that the major part of this story was already a lie.  Man what he wouldn’t give to just tell Mike about It and all the shit that he and the Losers went through, but...it was a lot.  And Richie had no real proof.  At least...no proof he really felt comfortable sharing yet. “We just wanted Bill to feel better, even if...I didn’t have as much hope as he did that we would find Georgie.  But we followed him anyway.  Bill was certain that we’d find something at the sewers, because Georgie was playing near the storm drains.”

“Did you?” 

“Yeah,” Richie said.  “Not anything of Georgie’s, but we found a shoe that belonged to Betty Ripsom.  Which gave Bill even more hope.  That was the day we met Ben, too.  He was on the run from Bowers, bleeding pretty badly.  The sick bastard thought that the fact that Ben is fat was an invitation for him to start carving his name into Ben’s stomach.”

He paused, giving Mike time to reel in horror.  Sometimes he thought back to that day, watching Ben pull up his shirt to reveal the oozing ‘H’ in his skin, and he wanted to shove Bowers down the Neibolt well himself.  If it wasn’t his job to be the obnoxious distraction and make everyone laugh instead of vomit, he would have had the same disgusted and horrified expression that he saw on his brother’s face.  

“What the fuck ?” Mike asked.  “No wonder the guy ended up killing people.”

“Yeah, he wasn’t too happy that Ben ran away from him.  That was when Patrick vanished, he was chasing Ben with a makeshift flamethrower, apparently, and then he just...never turned up again.” Richie shrugged.  Patrick was the easiest of Its victims to shrug off, but the Losers all agreed that even he didn’t deserve what happened to him.  No one deserved It.  “So you can imagine that Bowers wouldn’t be too happy the next time he saw us.  So then we met Bev, she helped us nick the stuff for Eddie to patch up Ben, and then later we met Mike.  They decided to help us look for Georgie, because they’re all fucking awesome like that, and so we...we ended up checking out that old abandoned house on Neibolt street.  Do you remember that house?”

“Yeah, the one that is definitely haunted?” Mike clarified, laughing slightly and missing the way that Richie stiffened.  

“Yep, that’s the one,” he said, his voice slightly tighter.  “So, long story short, Bowers found us, we escaped, got in a bit of a fight and split up, Bev vanished, we went back to the house, Bowers was there again and tried to kill Mike with a bolt gun, he fell down the well into the sewers, and in those sewers...we found a lot of shit.”

“Oh...oh, shit ,” Mike said softly.  “You said Georgie was declared dead, and then that Bowers killed people but...I didn’t…”

“Yeah,” Richie confirmed, his eyes distant with memories that were far different than what he was telling Mike.  “We found his raincoat.”

“Fuck, Richie, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Derry is a hellhole and I hope Georgie’s somewhere better now,” he said, waving Mike off before his stinging eyes actually shed any tears.  “Anyway, police later discovered the bodies of Bowers’s dad and friends, and the body of Bev’s shitty dad, who they determined was helping him.  So that’s what happened in Derry.  Jeez, two years and it's like it happened yesterday.” Richie leaned back against the couch, sighing.  “That summer fucking sucked man, I mean, Eddie broke his arm, Bill decked me in the face, Mike almost died, Bev’s dad nearly - never mind,” he cut himself off with a shake of his head, “Not important.  Anyway, uh, but meeting Ben, Bev, and Mike was definitely a plus.”

“Bill decked you?” Mike raised his eyebrows.  “Why?”

“I was an asshole,” Richie answered, shrugging.  “Biggest fight we’ve ever had.  I think finding out for sure that Georgie died was...a little bit of a good thing, though.  Closure, you know?”

“At least Bowers is gone, right?” Mike offered, still tense from the dark tone the conversation had taken.  “Without him, at least Derry is...somewhat safer.”

“Yeah,” Richie agreed, slightly absently.  “Safer.  Definitely.”

“So...don’t take this the wrong way,” Mike prefaced, “but if Derry is such a shithole, and two summers ago was that awful, why haven’t you come home?”

“Hawkins sucks, but even if Mom, Dad, Nance and I were in Maine, would you leave your party?” Richie asked in return.  Mike frowned, thinking.  Richie nodded. “That’s what I figured.  Frankly, I think if I had been here for that shitshow when Will went missing, I might have found it harder to go back to Maine.  But I wasn’t here, and the Losers are in Derry.”

“I’m glad you have good friends there, at least,” Mike said.  Richie grinned. 

“Hell yeah, they’re awesome.  They make Derry worth it.”

There was a beat where Mike was lost in thought, before he broke the silence with, “You know, El wasn’t just adopted by Hopper.”

Richie frowned, confused.  “Huh?  What do you mean?”

“I just- I get it, you know?  Shit here in Hawkins hasn’t been all that great either,” Mike admitted.  “It sucked, but it meant that the Party and I are closer than ever, and we met El and Max, and so that almost makes the bad stuff worth it.  El...well, you remember that government lab mom mentioned in the woods?”

“Yeah, I didn’t even know that existed,” Richie answered.  

“Well...this isn’t public knowledge, but it was super shady,” Mike continued.  “So like...I’m not gonna say anything about Bowers, and you can’t say anything about this.  El will be fine with you knowing, but that's it.” At Richie’s nod, he kept going.  “El was in that lab.  They were doing...tests on her, weird tests, since she was a baby.  Lucas, Dustin and I literally stumbled onto her while looking for Will, and she was in a hospital gown, bald, and could barely talk.”

“Holy shit,” Richie said, his eyebrows threatening to reach his hairline.  

“Yeah,” Mike said, laughing slightly, remembering how bizarre the situation had been.  “We wanted to help her, and so she wanted to help us, and she helped us look for Will.  But the lab was after her, and so that year I had grown adults pointing real, actual guns at me and my friends.  But Hopper made sure we were alright.”

Richie blinked.  “ Dude ,” he said emphatically.  “High five for having people try to kill us!”

He held his hand out expectantly, and Mike gave him a half-hearted glare before rolling his eyes and high-fiving him.  “We really should be more concerned about that similarity, you know that, right?”

“Nah,” Richie waved him off.  “Just means we’re too cool for people to handle.”

“Uh huh,” Mike gave him a look, “sure.”

The conversation seemed to taper off topic after that, but Mike didn’t try and re-rail it.  He had gotten his answer, he knew what had happened and he felt a little bit like shit that Richie had gone through that and Mike had no idea.  It wasn’t even a difficult decision to tell Richie about the agents that had gone after them during that first adventure with the demogorgon, he just knew that Richie had to know that Mike got it.  He got the fact that Richie and his friends were insanely close, because he and the Party had come out of their near-death experiences closer than ever too.  He might have been able to leave Hawkins before all that and been okay, but now?  Well, the incident with Will almost moving away was a testament to how much all of them hated the idea of being separated.  In the end, Will basically flat-out refused to leave, and Mrs. Byers realized how much better it would be for him to stay.  Hopper helped too.  After he got hurt with the Mind-flayer, Mrs. Byers had been so certain that something else would happen again and that someone would die again and she was afraid she couldn’t handle it - especially if it was Hopper, Jonathan, or Will.  But the Party would never let anything happen to Will again, and Hopper helped convince her to stay.  

Richie had pulled out his phone as Mike got lost in thought, and snorted a laugh at something.  Mike rolled his eyes at the buzzing coming from his own pocket, and pulled out his phone to check what was going on.

Losers take Hawkins

Marshall's: Hey richie, i thought you left derry?

Marshall's: hithererichie.jpg

Stanley: No, he definitely left because no one’s nearly broken my window today.  

Stanley: Where did you get that photo of him?

Pasta Boy: wow that's just...that's just richie

Mad Max: idk, are you sure?  It could be mike

Dustbin: ...its just a photo of a trash can?

I’m just a Bill: yeah its richie

Trashman: yeah but im YOUR trash can bevvie

Trashman: and you can take me out whenever ;)

Michaelangelo: gross

I’m just a Bill: *spray bottle noises*

I’m just a Bill: no flirting allowed

Marshall's: well that's just no fun, bill

Marshall's: what if i want to take richie out?

Stanley: Like with a sniper?

Stanley: Because I can support that.

Trashman: hot take but if bev wanted to snipe me id let her

I’m just a Bill: oh mood

The Better Mike: oh mood

Benny Handsome: oh mood

Pasta Boy: oh mood

Stanley: Oh, mood. 

Mad Max: ive never met her but its probably a mood for me too

Mad Max: i mean, ive said that I’d let el kill me if she wanted to, so

Bitchin: i don't

Mad Max: i know

Dustbin: i would not let max kill me

Mad Max: bold of you to assume youd get a choice

SINclair: dustin would you let suzie kill you

Dustbin: i mean

Dustbin: shes probably the least likely to try

Dustbin: and i don't understand how were still on this conversation

Dustbin: but sure, i guess

Marshall's: well max we shall get the chance to meet soon!

Marshall's: it has been confirmed that we will be visiting hawkins in a little over a week!

Pasta Boy: and wow what a surprise

Pasta Boy: its also been confirmed that ill be sneaking out of my house for this trip

Pasta Boy: i wonder how many times shell have called the police before i get back

Trashman: not as many times as shell have called me ;)

Pasta Boy: stop using the fucking winky face towards my mom dickhead

Marshall's: it feels tainted now

Trashman: well maybe we can taint something else while you visit

Stanley: RICHARD.

Pasta Boy: FUCK

I’m just a Bill: *SPRAY BOTTLE NOISES INTENSIFY*

Michaelangelo: richie im gonna strangle you

Michaelangelo: and if you fucking say kinky im locking you out of the house

SINclair: ...im getting the impression that hes just always like this

Stanley: You would be - unfortunately - correct.

Stanley: Now if you’ll excuse us for a moment, Bev laughed so hard she knocked over a vase.

Stanley: We’ll be right back.

Loser and Lover are synonyms

Squedward: RICHIE SHE FUCKING LIT THE COUCH ON FIRE

Squedward: IM GONNA DEMOLISH YOUR SHINS WHEN I SEE YOU

Roachie: HA

Roachie: oh that's fucking incredible

Bi-bi-billy: NO ITS FUCKING NOT THERES A BURN MARK ON MY COUCH NOW

Queenie: I SAID I WAS SORRY BILLY

Bi-bi-billy: oh i don't blame you bev, its all on richie

Angel: ...it was kinda funny though

Angel: her face went all red and cute

I’m soft, Fuckers: Yeah, sure, and then her hair ignited and barely missed setting my pants on fire too.

Queenie: hey at least i wasnt laying in anyones lap

Queenie: hah lmao they all winced in unison

Roachie: cute

Country boy, I love youuu: hey, its all fine now

Country boy, I love youuu: we put out the fire and the burn mark can be hidden by flipping the cushion!

Bi-bi-billy: and the smell of smoke?

Country boy, I love youuu: uhhhhhhhhh air freshener?

I’m soft, Fuckers: Thanks, Mike.

Losers take Hawkins

Dustbin: well that was interesting

Free Willy: certainly one word for it

Free Willy: cant tell if its refreshing that richie hasnt changed or not

Michaelangelo: annoying

Michaelangelo: definitely annoying

Michaelangelo: @Marshall's please explain why youre dating him

Trashman: clearly its for my massicfjdsklfjdls

Michaelangelo: i stole his phone so no interruptions

Stanley: Fucking finally.

Marshall's: oh easy

Marshall's: because hes cute, a sweetheart, he hit the man who kidnapped me in the face with a baseball bat, and hes also kinda funny sometimes.

Marshall's: and also because of his massisffdjsfsd

Pasta Boy: i heard her start giggling so time for her to go on phone time-out too, thanks for the idea mike

SINclair: sorry what was that middle one?

Stanley: Don’t worry about it.

The Better Mike: ben is getting her to promise to behave, just a sec

Marshall's: hes a sweetheart!

Marshall's: he doesnt seem it but its my job to expose him so

I’m just a Bill: the rest of us also hit the bastard, bev

Marshall's: yeah i know

I’m just a Bill: ok cool just making sure

A week.  A little over a week and then Richie could see his Losers again.  Good, he missed them like crazy!  He wanted to make Bev accidentally light something on fire in person !  Just the confirmation that they were coming - and that Eddie was risking Sonia’s wrath to join them this time - made him slightly giddy all day.  It also, however, just emphasized how quiet it was without them around.  It was simultaneously a normal quiet, but also the same kind of quiet that had plagued them in the sewers.  A preemptive, anxious silence.  He tried to fill it himself, chattering to Mike about nothing in particular until dinner rolled around, and then hyperfocusing on the conversation to give himself some noise.  

But then it was nighttime.  And he was up in his top bunk, dead silent. He had tried to go to sleep, honest, he did .  But the quiet of his bedroom morphed into those sewers, which led him to Stan screaming and Bev lifeless, and- well, he wasn’t exactly keen to try that again.  It was past midnight, but his heart was racing.  He was just lucky he hadn’t woken up Mike.  So he reached over, grabbed his phone, and dialed.

“Hello?” Ben greeted, clearly tired and half-asleep.  “Richie?”

“Hey, Benny, sorry to wake you,” Richie said, trying to both keep his voice down and keep the nerves out of it.  Unfortunately, he only succeeded at one, and Ben answered with concern.

“Richie, love, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re good.  Just, uh, bad nightmare.”

“Oh,” Ben’s voice was understanding.  “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it’s been a long while.  I just...I think it's too quiet here.  It feels empty.  Reminds me of the sewers a bit.”

“Gotcha,” Ben said.  “It feels empty here too, but I know it's different for you.  Need help sleeping?”

“Just a bit, handsome,” Richie answered, laying back onto his pillow.  

He could hear the smile in Ben’s voice as it became layered and hypnotic.  It was so much warmer than the silence.  

Within moments, he was in a more peaceful sleep than he could do on his own.  Ben listened to him breathing gently, just for a few seconds, before smiling and hanging up.

Chapter Text

The Babysitters Club

Stepmom: on god i am this close to taking jonathan up on his offer of weed

vodka aunt: oh shit we have a rogue nancy

vodka aunt: code red???

vodka aunt: wait what even is a code red

vodka aunt: we need to establish protocols 

vodka aunt: what the fuck do the kids mean when they say code red, i once heard dustin use it to mean his bike had a flat tire

Stepmom: no need for a code red i’m just being dramatic 

Stepmom: slightly 

Stepdad: i mean. the offer is always open?

Stepdad: but you said you’d get high as soon as your brother stopped being annoying, so i doubt anything’s changed there

Stepmom: i apparently overlooked the option where him being annoying makes me want to get high

Stepmom: do you know what he did today?

Stepmom: decided that the bathroom was the perfect place for him to do a full concert of ABBA’s discography

Stepmom: and sure he let me use the bathroom, but the concert just continued as he stood out in the hallway 

vodka aunt: ok i’m gonna be honest here

vodka aunt: i think i was right about the code red thing 

vodka aunt: just not for nancy 

vodka aunt: because that does not sound like mike

Stepmom: oh 

Stepmom: Oh. 

Stepmom: you’re new

Stepdad: oh boy

#1 Mom: robs got a point though, that doesnt sound like mike

Stepmom: Steve.

Stepmom: Mike was not the brother I had in mind when I made that ultimatum to J.

#1 Mom : Oh shit wait

#1 Mom: Wheeler 1 is back?

#1 Mom: hell yeah ive missed that little shit

#1 Mom: I see his taste in music is still great

Stepdad: I’m gonna be honest, I kinda forgot about him until Will said he was visiting

Stepmom: i mean, admittedly the last time he was here was before we really knew each other so that makes sense

Stepmom: you probably just knew him through Will

vodka aunt: i am.  Very confused.

Stepmom: oh right

Stepmom: Mike has a twin, he lives with our aunt and uncle in maine most of the time

Stepmom: he hasn’t visited in a while, but hes here for the summer now

vodka aunt: there’s another mike out there? Goddamn nancy you must have your hands full

Stepdad: from what i remember, you are more than right about that

Stepmom: listen

Stepmom: don't get me wrong, i love richie.  Hes a little shit and he likes sex jokes way too much, but hes my brother and i love him

Stepmom: but he is also a handful in so much different of a way than mike is

Stepmom: and if one of you doesnt give me an excuse to get out of this house before i hear fucking voulez-vous for the third time, i might do something drastic

#1 Mom: come to the store, i get off in fifteen

#1 Mom: we can take a walk, or get lunch or something

Stepdad: Will is at Dustins with the others today, I can come join you guys

#1 Mom: wait, is mike there too?  But richie is at home with you, nance?

vodka aunt: three minutes of knowing this kid is in hawkins and youre parenting him too?

vodka aunt: isnt seven enough, steve?

#1 Mom: oh shut it

#1 Mom: i just mean shouldn’t the gremlins be hanging out together or something 

Stepmom: mike definitely isn’t here, or he would have thrown something at richie by now

Stepmom: and honestly? i don’t know what’s going on between them 

Stepmom: mike seems almost…worried? about something? 

Stepmom: and richie is on his phone a lot even when he’s annoying mike and his friends 

Stepdad: will said something about richie’s friends from maine coming to visit?

Stepmom: oh right, that's happening

Stepmom: i only know three of them, but all six of his friends are coming in just a few days

vodka aunt: better get those adoption papers ready steve

#1 Mom: haha very funny

#1 Mom: do you want me to pick you up after my shift nance?

Stepmom: no, ill drive over, i can pick up jon too

Stepmom: unless you wanted to drive?

Stepdad: i don't mind you driving as long as either steve or us picks up will afterwards

#1 Mom: im already giving three of those shits a ride, i can grab will too

Stepdad: thanks steve

Stepmom: oh shit steve guess what?

Stepmom: i cant believe i forgot to tell you

#1 Mom: what?

Stepmom: richie has a girlfriend

Stepmom: we only found out because we overheard him say ‘i love you’ on the phone with her, he wasnt even going to fucking tell us!

#1 Mom: holy shit he does?

Stepmom: more so than just that, it seems…

Stepmom: serious

Stepmom: he keeps waving it off as just friends turning into more, but his face?? He slipped once and said shes the only girl he’ll like.  

#1 Mom: wow

#1 Mom: good for him, but

#1 Mom: wow

vodka aunt: and this is…strange for him?

#1 Mom: theres a reason hes my favorite mini wheeler

#1 Mom: he talked a big game back when i first met him, and he was nine then

#1 Mom: but also…

#1 Mom: i mean.  Ok it was kind of bad of nance and i to speculate, honestly

#1 Mom: but when his friends visited once and I was over at the wheelers?

#1 Mom: i swear he was practically pulling pigtails the whole time

Stepdad: from what i remember, he always seemed to click with will in a way that mike…never seemed to really get

vodka aunt: wait

vodka aunt: like…how I clicked with will?

Stepdad: yeah

vodka aunt: he could always like both

Stepmom: oh of course

Stepmom: i was just surprised, hes never really shown an interest in girls

Stepmom: im happy for him, though, from what I’ve heard this girl seems sweet

Stepmom: and more than able to handle richie being…. richie

vodka aunt: ok with how you all are talking about him, i kinda want to meet this kid

#1 Mom: oh no

#1 Mom: that's a match made in hell

#1 Mom: you are never meeting him if i have anything to say about it

vodka aunt: wow, fucking rude

vodka aunt: and here i was, going to offer to cover the last bit of your shift so you can leave early.

vodka aunt: last time i try to be nice to you

#1 Mom: no wait rob

#1 Mom: i…wont actively stop you from meeting him?

vodka aunt: and you’ll go shopping with me this weekend.  My mom made me get rid of my old flannels, i need new ones

#1 Mom: you hate shopping

vodka aunt: your point?

#1 Mom: fine yes ill go shopping with you

vodka aunt: cool.  Now scram, ill finish out

Stepmom: thanks robin :) 

Stepdad: thanks robin 

#1 Mom: you’re the worst, bird brain

Stepmom: cough

#1 Mom: …thanks robin 

Hot Wheels

Go Ask Mom: i’m hanging out with jon and steve, i’ll be back before dinner 

Go Ask Mom: richie don’t burn the house down, mike be home before i am

Thing 1: aww but i was just getting into the super trouper album

Go Ask Mom: you did that one two hours ago already

Thing 1: oh did i? 

Thing 1: huh

Thing 1: good album though 

Thing 2: so glad we had dnd today

Thing 1: don’t worry, the concert can start again when you get home :)

Thing 1: i’m assuming you don’t want us to tell mom you went out when she gets home? ;)

Thing 2: it’s not like it’s a date, steve’s there :/

Thing 1: oh shit you’re right

Thing 1: nancy tell steve i say hi

Thing 1: and even tho you’re not dating anymore i still think he’s cool and it’d be cool to see him

Thing 2: steve causes enough trouble with dustin, he doesn’t need you creating even more chaos 

Go Ask Mom: i’ll tell him, richie

Go Ask Mom: he’s glad to hear you’re back in town

Go Ask Mom: and yeah don’t tell mom

Go Ask Mom: i should be back before her 

Thing 1: have fun on your date, nance ;););)

Thing 2: hope steve enjoys third-wheeling

Thing 1: hah, third- wheel ing

Thing 2: …

Go Ask Mom: …

Go Ask Mom: and on that note

Go Ask Mom: don't get yourselves killed before i get home

Thing 1: im unappreciated in my time

The Babysitters Club

Stepmom: ok so im gonna say something

Stepmom: and none of you can say a word about it, because yes, im aware its ironic after my complaining this morning

Stepdad: you’re opening yourself up to teasing from steve and robin, and trying to tell them not to make fun of you?

Stepdad: nance

vodka aunt: oh like you wont make fun of her too

Stepdad: now I never said that

Stepmom: are you two done?

Stepmom: @#1 Mom ,  it’s about richie

#1 Mom: oh shit my eighth kid

#1 Mom: what’s wrong?

Stepmom: I think i realized why mike keeps looking worried

Stepmom: and i think i agree with him

Stepmom: when i got back, richie had stopped his ABBA concert since he didn’t have an audience, but he had also stopped being…loud

Stepmom: he was lying on the couch on his phone, mike was playing video games, and richie wasn’t being an obnoxious backseat gamer 

Stepdad: it doesn’t seem likely that he just…mellowed out

Stepmom: absolutely not 

Stepmom: when i’ve texted him before he got home, he was just as Much as he’s always been

Stepmom: now he’s home and he’s almost quiet?

Stepmom: i’ve caught him sometimes, seeming like he has to force himself to make a shitty joke

Stepmom: if i’m being honest…it makes me feel bad for leaving earlier

#1 Mom: you think leaving him alone made him upset?

Stepmom: i don’t know

Stepmom: he’s always been fine on his own, never bored, able to entertain himself with anything!

Stepmom: the amount of times he’s been home by himself before is higher than Mike’s only because his list of things to do before ‘set things on fire’ is longer

Stepmom: but he’s been home alone for maybe two hours

Stepmom: and now its like he’s so in his own head that he can’t leave it again.

vodka aunt: oh.  I get like that sometimes

vodka aunt: when everything around me is either too loud and too much , or the exact opposite

vodka aunt: got worse after the russians tbh

vodka aunt: the room was so quiet when I was alone, then steve was quiet when he was brought back

#1 Mom: robbie…

vodka aunt: im alright, stevie

vodka aunt: i guess what im saying is…maybe being alone is too quiet now?

Stepmom: sure.  Maybe.  But that asks the question of what changed.  Of what he isn’t saying. I know Derry hasn’t been the best to him, but this seems out of the blue. 

Stepmom: Of the two of them, I figured I’d end up worried about Mike, considering everything that’s happened here. But…

Stepmom: I just want to know he’s okay. It’s my job to make sure he is, but he keeps pretending . God, I wish he wasn’t so good at deflecting. 

#1 Mom: nance im not sure those are answers youre gonna be able to get without prying too hard

Stepdad: it took will a long time to want to talk about what happened in the upside down. And that was with him knowing that we were all there waiting to help him.

Stepmom: are you saying that Richie doesn’t know we’ll be there for him?

Stepdad: no, and you know I wasn’t. 

Stepdad: But we already knew the vague idea of what happened to will, and if something did happen to richie, we have no idea who already knows about it. We were just waiting for will to open up, but richie would have to tell you a whole story.

Stepmom: shit, I know. I’m sorry, Jon.

Stepdad: it’s okay, nance, you’re just worried. If I had even the slightest inkling that something else might have happened to will, i’d be just as upset.

vodka aunt: you’ll be there for him if he needs it, nancy. Sometimes that’s all you need to do. 

#1 Mom: and we’re here for you , so that you don’t drive yourself insane worrying and trying to figure out what’s wrong. 

Stepmom: …thank you. I guess there isn’t anything i can do right now, is there?

#1 Mom: you could just do something to let him know that you didn’t leave earlier because of him? So he knows he can go to you. If I think dustin’s upset about something but won’t talk, i’ll ‘accidentally’ leave out A New Hope on top of my tv when i let him pick the movie. 

Stepdad: steve that’s really sweet what the fuck

vodka aunt: wait until you find out what he does to make max feel safe enough to talk. No wonder those kids call him mom

#1 Mom: you say that like you can make fun of me for this

#1 Mom: i take being their mom very seriously

#1 Mom: and i am this close to pulling out actual adoption papers the next time Max needs to stay over at my house. 

vodka aunt: steve you are barely an adult

#1 Mom: pretty sure most parents havent actually nearly died multiple times for their kids, so i think i could handle it, rob

Stepdad: yeah but this is like. hypothetical, right? 

Stepdad: like you haven’t actually started taking steps, right? 

Stepmom: jon, hon, this is steve.

Stepmom: a month ago i mentioned briefly that mike had a head cold, and he showed up half an hour later with homemade soup

Stepdad: shit youre right

vodka aunt: he doesnt have papers yet

vodka aunt: but hes definitely mentioned this to a lawyer

#1 Mom: jeez robbie, at least let me spill my own secrets

Stepmom: i feel like we probably should be offended at how much more Robin knows about your life than us, but…it’s really sweet, actually. 

Stepdad: i get what you mean

Stepdad: helps that robin is cooler than steve i guess

#1 Mom: wow and here i thought you might actually be complimenting me

Stepdad: if you would let me finish

Stepdad: i was gonna say that in all seriousness, you two being basically one person has made you seem happier than i ever remember you looking in high school

Stepdad: its real, and its nice to see. 

Stepdad: even if that means that robin knows about your apparent plans to adopt max before we do

vodka aunt: well since steve is busy staring at his phone and pretending like hes not getting emotional, its up to me to say thank you

vodka aunt: and don't worry, he would have told you before actually getting any papers and starting a custody thing

vodka aunt: just like he needs to bring it up to max before fucking doing anything

#1 Mom: i will! You know i will!

#1 Mom: and thanks, jon

#1 Mom: you guys, robin, and the kids…

#1 Mom: i think helped me realize that i had never actually been happy and like, content and shit

vodka aunt: aww stevie

Stepmom: im glad you figured out who you are, steve

Stepmom: seeing us all become new people, and be happier for it…

Stepmom: almost makes some of the shit that we went through seem worth it

Stepdad: does this mean i can say that im glad i punched you in the face?

Stepmom: jon!

#1 Mom: well

#1 Mom: considering that im glad you punched me in the face

#1 Mom: yeah sure

Stepdad: then yeah. Im glad i punched you and led to you coming to save nance and i

Stepdad: i think without that…we wouldnt be anywhere near where we are now

Stepdad: and where we are now is good

vodka aunt: well this has been sickeningly sweet

vodka aunt: but to go back to the original topic, nancy, i know you aren’t gonna stop worrying

vodka aunt: that's just not who you are

vodka aunt: but youre a great big sister to mike, so i can only assume youre a great big sister to richie too

vodka aunt: and i might be the one here with the least experience with children, but i think you’ll do fine

vodka aunt: just be there for him.

#1 Mom: robin’s right

#1 Mom: and if you do try to talk to him, let us know how it goes?

Stepmom: of course

Stepmom: but I think you had a point about the prying.

Stepmom: I’ll hold off and try and let him come to me.

Stepmom: thank you for helping.

Stepdad: anytime, nance

Stepdad: good luck

The Coolest Wheeler > Runner Up

The Coolest Wheeler: hey, Richie, I got a new Blondie album the other day.

The Coolest Wheeler: Want to listen to it with me?