Chapter Text
Jack had just absorbed Chuck's powers, but it wasn't just that. He had encountered power before, his own when he was born as a Nephilim and a different power, acquired from another source, when he consumed Michael's grace. However, this new experience is different.
Jack is barely three years old. He certainly learns things very quickly and easily compared to an ordinary human, as Jack was never quite an ordinary human. Now, every piece of his body radiates internally with a strange power, that power takes over his body transmitting thousands of small and large knowledge every second. Jack is not comfortable with that and something inside him reacts.
Amara appears in his mind telling him that she wishes they had known each other before and maybe they had time for that when it was all over. Jack feels a kind of comfort, and even though there was no prior trust between them before he defeats Chuck, Jack knows that Amara is helping him to hold back that flow of power that wants to transform him. You can take it a little longer , he hears her voice in his mind or somewhere deep inside.
All of this lasts less than a second in the eyes of Sam and Dean, who watched their victory against Chuck. After the final verdict, they leave him in the middle of nowhere, as human as any other vulnerable being in their stories since the beginning of all creation.
Jack doesn't know how to explain what's going on inside him to the Winchesters, but he does know that they are his family, or hopes they still are, so he tries to stay together. He needs time and needs to find out what is possible (and what seems impossible) and there is no way the Winchesters can help with that directly. What Jack can do for them right away is to bring the people of the world back, save his friends and keep them safe until he comes back... At least he would like to be able to go home.
Jack hears Dean calling him and the invitation in his voice to return to the Bunker makes him happy. He can look at Dean now and see thousands of versions of his life, and all of his memories and sufferings, his smallest and brightest joys (albeit brief). It’s too much for one human to carry. However, Jack feels that something between them has been fixed, not entirely, but it is a small bridge of humanity that still connects them to a common path. Maybe Dean isn't fully aware of it now, because there are so many urgent matters in his mind and heart, but a part of him is willing to try.
Sam is looking at Jack with some concern. Jack also sees Sam clearly for the first time. Sam keeps pains as deep as Dean's, hidden under so many layers, and yet he tries to maintain a tenderness on the surface that makes access to his positive emotions a little easier. However, he has buried himself so much that perhaps the youngest Winchester cannot identify all of his fractures, as well as his strength alone. They deserve more than the constant punishment they inflict on themselves for the mistakes they have made in the past.
"Jack, kiddo, you come back with us, right?" Dean asks again. "Jack, can you..."
“I know what you want, Dean. And I cannot attend to you right now, you will need to have a little faith…”
Dean snorts a little skeptical, a little terrified and surprised. A familiar sadness crosses his eyes again.
“You took his place and now everything has become a matter of faith? People will want answers, Jack… They are tired of waiting in vain for absent figures who don't give a damn shit about them” Dean brings a bitter harshness in his voice, he clearly doesn't want to expose his resentment after having a brief experience of hope defeating Chuck, but the feeling that history would repeat itself again, even if he wants to trust Jack, after all Cas saw him... Cas...
"Dean" Sam holds up a hand for his brother to calm down. "Are we going to see you again, Jack?"
Jack still doesn't have all the certainties in the world, or all the worlds, and a part of him believes that it is dangerous to count on it. Amara is stirred, she is in agreement with his thoughts. She is also holding more tightly to the power that belonged to Chuck, allowing Jack to have access to a few pieces, pieces that already want to burn his soul completely. He needs to be careful about what he demands and how he uses that power.
"I don't know, but it's not impossible, Sam." Then Jack turns to Dean.
“I want to give you the answers that you and others expect, but it’s not that simple. Dean, you may not see it that way, but you are a man of faith. Praying is a sign of faith, and throughout your life you have been praying for the right reasons, so I just ask you to trust again this time.” Jack is calm, he can't hurry any more or be bitter any more. Everything he feels seems to unfold in infinite planes of existence and it seems silly to be hurt before time.
Dean flinches and swallows. He prayed a few times in his life, but most of the time he prayed only to reach one of the only beings he trusted entirely, even after dark times. Cas had asked him to trust Jack years ago, and so many times later... This time Jack asks Dean to trust him by alluding to the one act that connected him to Cas when they were both separated and lost from each other.
Dean doesn't really consider himself a man of faith, or a righteous man to be fair, yet he will be a man of faith this time, because that is what he can hold on to at the moment, and because Cas, of all people, beings and things, taught him to believe that good things can do happen to him.
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Jack had said goodbye to the Winchesters, two of his parents and two of the people he loves most in his life, but the farewell was colder than he wished. He couldn't explain exactly why, but he knows that Sam and Dean somehow realized that Jack was not just Jack at the time.
Dean asked about Amara and Jack said that she was with him, which was an absurd simplification of the whole situation. What Jack did not mention is that he intended to release her safely, both for them and for the world. So he moved to the safest place in that universe, or Occultum . Or rather, The Garden.
That place was able to restore his human soul, although it does not allow any human to set foot in its surroundings. The Garden is a remnant of the first act of creation, even before Chuck took over. This is the place where the first memory of Chuck and Amara's existence remains, after The Empty ceased to exist alone. There Adam and Eve were brilliantly created, and Chuck's first spark rose. He created humans, but he did not premeditate everything that came with them, such as emotions, feelings... Everything that was just absolute power between him and Amara was fragmented into thousands of small contradictions incarnated in humanity. Everything that was predictable has become wonderfully beyond the creative capacity of Chuck and Amara, and Chuck was fascinated with the endless paths that each choice of humanity could create, whatever the outcome... Then of course he was bored, he started to believe that as stories that humans created were not made just for their entertainment, they were disobedient…
One truth is that Chuck became curious, but he never wanted to lose control… He was never able to fully understand any being of his creation, but mainly humans, because they should be his image and likeness, however, Chuck found himself wanting to mirror himself, even though his motivations were empty of what was fundamental: humanity.
Jack takes a deep breath, he shouldn't have known all that. He should not remember so many worlds and so many faces, and he touched only a thousandth of everything that he contains in himself. Amara understands better than any other being could. She and Chuck were always connected in a way, even when the connection between them seemed non-existent, because there was no other being who looked at the beginning of the world as they did. For humans, it is incomprehensible, on a certain level, to separate form from essence, but Amara and Chuck existed beyond any simple understanding of existence. Even if they die, the power they carry is eternal and the only way to keep everything created so far stable.
Jack closes his eyes and when he opens them a light radiates from his whole body. His wings remain with him, but a gigantic shadow moves away from his body. The shadow is not just darkness, thousands of small sparks shone in it, it is as if the starry sky creates a body. Gradually this shadow takes on the well-known form of Amara, she moves her shoulders, stretches and raises her head with a half smile, her eyes sparkling with relief.
"Thanks, Jack." she approaches, and they both sit under the central tree. This time neither the snake nor the little garden keeper appear.
"I need to thank you." Jack says, almost breathless, feeling his body tingle and all the confusion of its molecules. "Sorry I took so long."
Amara reaches out and touches his face, sucking on the most pulsating remnants of discomfort.
"As much as I hate being stuck, the time it took, in my view, was insignificant." She speaks very calmly and without resentment.
“Amara, what will happen now? What is my role?” Jack asks with anxious eyes.
Amara tilts her head "You are just a child, what do you think your role should be?"
Jack ponders that question and answers it with the sincerity that is still his greatest characteristic " I don't know, I should defeat Chuck, I think. Die for it if it were the case and save my dads, my friends and the world... But now I know that Chuck's power still exists, is still here ” Jack gestures to himself, Amara and the entire Garden.
"You certainly fulfilled a good part of that plan, but, Jack, you are not Chuck" Amara says firmly "Nor could it be."
"What do you mean by that? Could I not stand Chuck's power?”
She nods. “At least not alone or not without losing yourself. See, I once told Dean this, you see mine and Chuck's human faces, but we're both so far from it... We don't have a soul, but we also have no limits, it's an incomparable situation for angels and humans."
"But I am neither one nor the other."
"Yes, you are so much more than both, Jack." Amara wanders her hand over the garden floor, it is as if she feels everything that is buried there as part of herself. "Do you know why Nephilim were banned and considered an abomination?"
“Because we can be very powerful beings and we are not easy to kill… And because the first Nephilims were corrupted and became Knights of Hell, and the Archangels decided that it would be better not to take any chances with future bloodlines, after Cain wiped out those who were left on Earth... ” Jack recites his years of study briefly, trying to understand his own nature.
"Yes, but also because in Chuck's eyes, and I can understand why, creatures like you are a challenge to order, balance and hierarchy in this universe." She pauses a little while Jack tilts his head in confusion “Humans have free will and mortality, but their souls are eternal and powerful... It is something special that Chuck and I created by chance... Heaven had no shape, it was a place for Chuck to do his first experiments, he created the angels, but they were empty of this vital force, when you are only immortal it is difficult to understand what it means to live, because there is no parameter for this experience. The angels were just power, but without any will. So, Chuck and I put those little balls of energy in there and each one was heated with various sensations, something that Chuck and I never felt... However, when we were close to that energy, we could feel something with more distinction, it fascinated Chuck and I think it was when he wanted to shape what was inexplicable to us: mortality."
Amara sighs “But that's when we fell out. I couldn't understand why he wanted more, why he didn't think our full existence was enough. What did he want from all of this? For a long time I saw it as just a whim of him, but first of all, I think Chuck's curiosity was genuine, he touched something that none of us could imagine, and that made him discover parts of himself that he didn't know, discover ways to apply his power and be recognized... I was unable to visualize this bigger plan, the big picture in front of me. And because I was the first to oppose him, he trapped me.”
“And you, Jack, are a being that defies any plan that Chuck may have created, and especially because you were born in this world, in this universe where the Winchesters and Castiel came together… You being born and raised learning what you have learned is the epitome of everything that fascinated him and at the same time it defied Chuck's will. And after all you are a walking contradiction: a mortal birth of an immortal being, a divine aura in a body with a human soul and feelings, the son of Lucifer and at the same time a protector of humanity... Chuck would never have included you in the story if everything was under complete control of him as he planned at the beginning. See, you shouldn't make a difference at the end of the story he wanted to tell.”
"And why are you telling me all of this?" Jack is still confused and as time goes by, he feels that all the power he carried a few moments ago is drained more quickly.
“Because I want you to understand the weight of accepting Chuck's power. You cannot do this and continue with your soul, it is simply greater than it can bear. But I want you to understand the value of you being exactly who you are for this and the other universes. What Castiel saw in you remains true, but there are other ways to save the world and transform it than to sacrifice yourself.”
Jack is stunned. He had felt a fraction of what it would be like to carry the weight of Chuck's power and barely recognized himself. He can still feel Amara's pulsing power around him and knows he has a choice to make. Jack is afraid, as he had not been since the first moment he saw himself on Earth and had to grow up fast to feel more secure.
“How can you say these things, Amara? Do you seem to care about me and… About humanity? ”
Amara smiles and there is almost tenderness in her, and something deeper in his eyes that Jack cannot describe.
“I'm not as bad as the stories. Darkness is a name with a bad reputation, but the truth is that the little time I spent on Earth, among humans, and the fact that I connected with Chuck again were instructive experiences...I'm old Jack, but I didn't know much about it. For a long time I was just my power and, as I said before, being close to human souls affected us, both Chuck and I. He is certainly the villain you defeated, but for me he was also more than that. He was part of what I was, of my own existence. So, although his admiration for humanity has not survived, we are both able to admire humans and everything they have created in order to live their lives." She makes a gesture by rolling her eyes "Of course they don't always get it right either, but who am I to judge..."
Jack, at that moment, wishes he had more time to get to know Amara. It seems difficult to understand, but Jack sees that she has an innocence that somehow connects with his own, he imagines that she might like to try pineapple pizza.
“When I first came across humanity in its current form, I wanted to consume them entirely, I wanted to absorb their precious souls and leave the world empty again. Chuck would look at his blank page and feel nothing, and without me he would never create something like that again.” She sighs "But I ended up discovering that humanity has its gifts, there is a lot of power in human fragility that overlaps all the suffering I could cause. Dean… and Sam were great examples of how they don't give up fighting, even without a thousandth of the power we have.”
“And Castiel! Cas was not born human, but he also never gave up, he...” Jack can't find the words “he didn't need a soul to love, to trust humans.”
"Oh Castiel is really an exceptional example." Amara seems amazed by accessing all the information she has about the Angel of Thursday. " The broken angel capable of restoring the entire universe with an act of free will inspired by love..."
“Can Cas be saved? Can I save him?” Jack has glimpsed this possibility while carrying the power of Amara and Chuck, but now he no longer knows what is within his reach and what his options are. “The Empty said that Chuck had no power in it, but he was able to bring Cas before, then Lilith and Lucifer and I managed to bring Cas back once… And Billie also brought me back, but it happened when they were on our side and had an agreement with The Empty…” Jack is losing his mind because a part of him returned to feeling what is despair in his old human form.
“Never completely trust an old cosmic entity that you were totally unaware of.” Amara smiles with her lips closed. "He can be saved, but at the moment it is complicated." Amara puts her hand on Jack's shoulder and he immediately feels an avalanche that shook his whole body. A noisy crowd seems to infiltrate Jack's head and a high-pitched buzzing crosses his ear. Amara removes her hand and everything returns to the previous calm. “All worlds, all reality plans are messed up. Chuck wanted to restart everything, so he didn’t care to unbalance the cosmic balance that connected us to The Empty… And when you exploded in The Empty it didn't have a less disturbing effect. It seems silly that a cosmic entity needs to sleep, but this is its purest nature: stillness. If it continues as it is, even if The Empty cannot walk the Earth without being summoned, soon waves of this pain caused by the noise will start to reverberate in other dimensions and what I can predict is that this is not something that humans can endure like a simple migraine.”
“But, Amara, I still haven't figured out how we can fix everything? The world is still in danger, shouldn't we seek help? Sam and Dean… They would help save Castiel and the world again.” Jack has eyes full of concern and the urgency grows in his voice.
“I'm sure they would help, but this is no longer their mission for now. I think we can agree to let them out of the trouble caused by Chuck right now, can we?” Amara says in a firm voice. “Jack, I didn't take Chuck's power completely from you. It’s only sleeping while we are here, because this place reacts to Chuck and me, to what we are made of. But this is also the place of a divine crossroads, here is where beings like us can change their path. It was where I fought my prison, it was where Chuck decided to expel humanity from the divine path, it was where you were able to restore your soul. What I mean is that it is a powerful place capable of transforming what is just metaphysical power into something concrete, something that can transform the divine into something close to humanity."
"And you want to know if I want to let go of the power I have absorbed from Chuck?" Jack says cautiously.
"I can only take that power away from you if you give it up completely."
Jack is in doubt. He is certainly not human, he was never fully human, at least not without the price of his own mortal body, but he is not a god and does not feel ready to take on that burden. Jack wants a life, he wants to wake up early and eat the cereal that Sam doesn't approve of. He wants to sit with Dean and watch the movies while Dean recites the lines decorated with imitations in different voices for each character. Jack wants to sit with Cas and play some new game, show him funny videos from the internet or go shopping while Cas tells jokes in Enochian, which he never fully understands. But none of this will be possible if Jack cannot keep the world in order and, apparently, if he does, there will not be much left of him to want and desire these banal pleasures with the same intensity.
"I think I still have work to do... Amara, will you help me even if I don't let go of Chuck's power?"
Amara looks through Jack and he feels that she sees all the layers of history that have gone through that place until she arrives at the time of her arrest.
“Jack, you really have no reason to trust me. And I’ve been betrayed more times than I’d like to assume.”She straightens up and this time just looks at him. “This was a long and difficult conversation, but would you believe that I want to help you? That you can trust me if I say that you don't have to carry that burden?"
"But why, Amara?" They are two powerful beings with trust issues and a hesitant naivety.
“Because I think you are more valuable to the world being who you were raised to be. Angels and supernatural entities... Deities and powerful beings like me... We don’t change easily, it’s difficult to see a path in which we do not underestimate humans or misinterpret them. I know that you as well as the Winchesters and Castiel see the legacy you carry as self-sacrifice and in the end die so that others can be saved, but what I managed to see was... For a time I only felt fury and destruction... What you made me see was hope, and I never thought it would work for me. The four of you have achieved what no other being has achieved in any lifetime, defeated my brother and still spared his life. I don't think Chuck managed to understand that ending. From my point of view, you challenged him in every way and this is a story that deserves to be told and valued... I also know that it had a cost, but if the journey has been so tortuous so far, why do you need to give up more if there is another alternative?”
She then stands up and holds out her hand to Jack, he accepts and stands up to face her.
“We can write a different ending than what Chuck always planned, at least today no one else would need to die or leave your family. I think we could be proud of that ending. But for that we need to start making different decisions… I can be the one who receives the trust for the first time in this story, you can be the one who gave up being the sacrifice…”
"And how are we going to save the world?" Jack is anxious because a part of him really wants to just believe in that possibility, without being afraid to take the risk.
"Well, let's plan what needs to be done and then I give you my word that I will comply with everything possible within this universe."
"I brought people back, but the world is full of Chuck's stories, he liked the monsters very much, he said that if he were imprisoned, the monsters would dominate the Earth because only the Darkness would remain... " Jack raises both eyebrows leaving the suggestion in the air.
Amara shakes her head slightly “Typical of him putting the blame on others… I spent an eternity in prison and the monsters were loose, because each of them is Chuck's creation… He did it at my expense each time he was bored with the previous story. Consider the monsters removed from the narrative...”
Jack quickly waves his hands in front of Amara “No! But we can't remove them, some are good, like Garth… ”
Amara puts her hand on her chin “Okay, we can just undo the transformation or turn them into humans… But, how each of them will deal with the new condition will be left to the free will of each one, which can be complicated…”
Jack nods, but there is an inner discomfort. He realizes that in one way or another he is playing god, deciding the lives of thousands of people without consulting them. He knows that this is more complicated than a simple decision, but he considers that the monsters exist there as a constant threat created by Chuck and that as far as possible they are balancing the forces between the human and the supernatural world.
“What about the monsters in Purgatory? Can we save their souls?”
“Yes, but dealing with souls in their pure form, that is, afterlife form, is a little more complicated. It may take a few ages for everyone to return to the human state of their souls and enter Heaven...”
“And Heaven needs to be fixed. Without the angels there, the place was failing… I tried to create new angels from humans, but I think it was not ideal.”
"Yes, and these humans shouldn't have any idea what they were giving up when they accepted it."
"In my defense, I had no soul to care about the details..." Remembering that period still causes Jack pain, but he says it with such embarrassment that it is almost funny.
“Heaven and Hell still need to exist, unfortunately they are tied to the eternal existence of human souls. If one is destroyed the other also collapses sooner or later… And that would leave many souls lost in the limbo…”
"And The Empty?" Jack raises his eyebrows a little more exasperated to get back to that subject.
“We can restore some angels and demons, that would make The Empty quieter and perhaps easier to control, but although it can give in with some ease, I believe that in Castiel's case it will be more difficult, because it is very rare for someone to irritate a cosmic entity on a personal level, and Castiel didn’t do it just once…”
"If there is any chance of bringing him back, we will accept." Jack speaks for himself, but he also includes the Winchesters in his thinking, because he knows that they will not give up on bringing Cas back if there is a single miserable spark left.
“Perhaps we can target and force a rescue. That spell that Nick used to bring Lucifer back. '' Amara says while Jack shrugs at the memory, but agrees. “When I open the portal to The Empty, angels and demons will be able to leave there. As I said, I don't think they will offer resistance because it will make it easier to control those who stay. When you brought Cas back, you only succeeded because The Empty totally freed him, and when Chuck interfered there, he made use of small loopholes while the Empty slept or was agitated by other problems. But with my power and Chuck's together, I can expand those gaps more easily. "
Jack nods again, feeling that hope from before again.
"You just need the Castiel's blood or something powerful enough to guide him through The Empty to you." Amara says calmly again. “Jack, can you trust me? Would you give in to the power you have taken from Chuck and trust that I can help you?”
Jack is still pondering this situation. He wants to move faster, he wants to go back to the Bunker and let Sam and Dean know about the plan, especially for Dean. But he knows that leaving power to Amara is a big responsibility. What if it again becomes the great evil to be faced? Jack takes a deep breath again. He remembers his first meeting with Amara, how she went in search of the Winchesters to warn them about Chuck's return, how she trusted that their plan would not endanger her, when they already knew it was not true .. Amara may want to take revenge and deceive them, Jack knows that she has done bad things in the past... But he has also made mistakes before. And Castiel and Sam... and even Dean... They all made mistakes and often put the world in danger for that.
“And then, Amara? After repairing Heaven? To close Hell, if possible. After cleaning Purgatory… What are you going to do with all that power?”
Amara smiles. “I go after the other worlds that Chuck created and destroyed. I will try to restore it too. I was stuck for a long time, I think I can spend a season traveling, knowing more about these worlds, getting out of Reno a little bit… It looks interesting.”
Jack narrows his eyes.
“Jack, I cannot change my nature and you cannot eliminate Chuck's and my source of power without eliminating the creation that originated from it. You can try to kill the personification of that power, but it will always need to migrate somewhere to achieve balance. I'm offering a way out and the two of us co-exist together, I know you can feel me when you absorbed Chuck's power… You know I'm not a threat, I don't want to be a threat anymore. ”
This time it is Jack who puts his hands on Amara's shoulders, his eyes lit up and the energy around the Garden begins to gravitate between them. Something very old, ancestral, wakes Jack and he feels that he is holding Amara, not the body in human form in front of him, but something purer. Somehow Jack knows that Amara is willing, she is allowing herself to appreciate humanity even with the flaws it carried. He sees the walks that Amara had taken in the last few years, how her eyes observed the fragility of life with a certain admiration and how she marveled at discovering new things that she was able to enjoy. That is the point of innocence that connected them.
"What if you ever get bored like Chuck did?"
“I have spent the last few years discovering that as much as history seems to repeat itself over several cycles, this is not necessarily true. I can cleanse the world of supernatural monsters, lock angels and demons in their domain, but that won't make life on Earth any more perfect. If I solved all the problems that are within the reach of humans to solve, I would be taking all the responsibility from them to decide for themselves. Which may seem a little cruel, but the world is not a simple gear. I will make the territory less hostile, but I will not think or create for humanity, it is the price to pay for freedom and free will that fuels all human choices and feelings. Chuck's problem was that he was not content to follow a story that develops in an organic and unexpected way, he was more focused on forcing the end he wanted and that blinded him to every wonder that appeared during the journey… And not everything needs an ending for new beginnings to be possible. I won't be watching it all, Jack, but I hope you’ll live among humans, learn from them and conserve your soul, because when I need to go back I hope to meet you for new conversations. You can be that bridge, the mediator between the human and the divine, Jack, but for that you need to live longer, learn more and learn in a way that Chuck and I could never. These are the promises I can make to you.”
Jack cannot deny the sincerity recorded in Amara's speech. He nods this time, knowing he is not shirking responsibility and that he and his family still have a lot of work to do to make the world a better and safer place, but that may not include fighting bloodthirsty monsters or prevent a new type of Apocalypse annually.
Amara takes his hands and they both close their eyes. A flowing stream passes through them and Amara and Jack shine. He finally feels what is left of Chuck's power flowing out of him with Amara absorbing everything again.
“When I am close to opening The Empty, you will feel my energy, start doing the spell… And Jack, whenever you want to find me, you can come back here, because it is the easiest place to access between the worlds, I mean, at least for me.”
Jack still feels the flow coming out of his body and is a little stunned to respond, however, he manages to regain his stability and smiles in agreement. Perhaps a new and more hopeful world can exist in this reality.