Chapter Text
If we're being honest, Keqing took it like a champ.
There they were, some of the strongest and most influential citizens and residents of Liyue, gathered at that spot to create a plan to deal with newly discovered developments regarding the Abyss Order (thanks to the Lumine's update). There was some initial confusion as to why Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's consultant was present, and that confusion was promptly cleared up.
And Keqing knew, at that moment, that she had fucked up. Ignorance was indeed bliss. Her life had become a living hell. Her reputation? Gone.
There was one instance in particular that kept playing and replaying in her head. She wanted to crawl into a corner and die. She wanted to say, "Screw the plan, one girl is enough to take on the Abyss Order. Me. I'm the girl. I'll do it."
Archons, if only, if only, she hadn't previously agreed to accompany Lumine on that day just a few weeks ago. If only Lumine hadn't checked on her that day to see if she was all right, because she was just the type of caring person to do that. If only she hadn't brought along Zhongli, as he was going along with Lumine that day to help with commissions. If only she hadn't been sick and relegated to her bed, in her room, surrounded by her Rex Lapis collection.
And, if only he didn't look like he knew, exactly, the reason why she was barely holding herself together after the unveiling of his identity- a mix of concern and a quiet, reassured smugness... "I know your little secret, and now you know exactly who it is that knows"- She could almost hear the taunt in that complacent little smirk.
She wanted to scream. She had to leave. She had to get out. She had never felt this magnitude of embarrassment. She took a deep breath, preparing herself.
"ExcusemeforamomentI'llberightback," she squeaked out uncharacteristically, her voice too high for her to have played that off as "casual." She shoved her chair aside as she made her escape, dashing into the hallway, lavender-curled pigtails barely keeping up with her. She'd catch her breath later. Out of his presence.
She ran into Hu Tao, who was (strangely, or not so strangely) late for the meeting, Knowing that she was the man- no, archon- in question's boss, surely she knew something about this. How to handle it. The aftermath.
"Hahaha, you're really funny, Keqing. I didn't know you liked pranks, too! Wouldn't have guessed it."
"No!!!" She sucked in a breath and realized her surroundings, how he was just on the other side of the door. "No! He really is Rex Lapis. I'm not joking. He just announced it. What do I do?"
Hu Tao silently gazed at her in thought, resting a hand on her hip. "Well, I knew there was something strange about him." She shook her head and muttered, something about "dusty-ass personality." Keqing grimaced. Maybe they were in the same boat of embarrassing circumstances.
Keqing clasped Hu Tao's hands in desperation. "If I die of a heart attack, will you give me a discount?" She noticed Hu Tao's countenance change. A business deal! it practically screamed. Oh no. Wait, they didn't have time for that.
"Wait, no, never mind. The most pressing issue is that..." Keqing bounced on her heels desperately, trying to think of what to do. He knew. He knew about her collection. She'd been staring the archon she idolized in the face all this time, and on top of that he knew. Forget how she'd all but badmouthed the archons and adepti in the past, that was hardly an issue because it was simply the truth of how she felt at the time. But this! He knew about her collection.
"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. What do you mean, what do you do?" Hu Tao tilted her head and looked at her out of the corner of her eye, as if suspicious. "Did you prank him?" She giggled and shrugged in response to her own question, looking all too giddy at the prospect. "If so, welcome to the "I shall feel the wrath of the rock soon" club!"
"How are you so nonchalant about this??" Keqing hissed under her breath, still trying to keep the conversation as private as possible. "And no, I didn't prank him!"
"Ah." Hu Tao paused for a moment. "So it's the second worst thing: you had a wet dream about him and now you're worried that you committed sacrilege, and with my consultant, on top of that?"
"Wha- no???" But halfway through her denial, she realized that the ghostie girl might not have been so far off. The abs. The abs on the statues. On the- Keqing's eyes glazed over, possibly drooling at the possibility that perhaps, perhaps, that consultant shared the physique of-
"NO!" Keqing suddenly shrieked out, clapping her hands over her mouth immediately after. She looked at Hu Tao, wide-eyed. "You heard nothing. Nothing, okay?"
Hu Tao slowly formed a shit-eating grin. "Sureeee, whatever you say, Keqing. Whateeeever you say." She pointed finger guns at her and backed away towards the meeting room. "I'll make sure you get that discount."
Momentary panic settled over Keqing. "Hu Tao, I swear to the archons, you'll be doing your own funeral if you say anything," she hissed after her. Hu Tao simply gave her a cheeky wink and waved, disappearing into the room and shutting the door behind her.
Well, at least she secured that discount. She might need it, Keqing thought once again, as she placed her hand over her heart as if it could stop it from beating so quickly. It didn't.