Chapter Text
A subtle noise made her stir.
It was barely anything, certainly not enough to wake up the woman sleeping beside her, but Rangi heard it and blearily opened her eyes. Even though it was probably just the rustling of leaves outside, her military training always kicked in before she could consciously stop it. Rangi waited for a few minutes and right when she was all but convinced that it had been her imagination, a man wearing black robes and a yellow scarf popping from underneath his shirt slowly opened the door to their room.
Everything happened too fast and yet it felt like time had slowed down. The intruder seemed surprised at finding two people in the room instead of just the Avatar. This gave Rangi the perfect opportunity to quickly send a fire fist towards him. Silently she thanked the spirits for the Jinpa incident a couple of moon cycles ago that had made them decide to always wear clothes during the night. Rangi got to her feet.
The attacker had rolled out of the way towards their bed away from the flames. Rangi was only peripherally aware of a startled Kyoshi waking up behind her, but so was he. The man lifted his arm to throw a knife at Kyoshi as a last ditch attempt to complete his mission. But Rangi was faster. She lurched towards him, kicking the knife out of his hand. Protect Kyoshi.
It worked, Kyoshi was safe. Though it also left Rangi vulnerable to the baton he had been hiding behind his back. With one swift motion the Yellow Neck hit her hard over the head.
There was something wet running down her forehead and... the angle of the world was off? The last thing Rangi saw before blacking out was the unnatural blue light coming out of her girlfriend’s eyes.
******
Rangi woke up on the west wing of the mansion, which confused her because their room was on the east side. She realized with a startle that it was already past noon and she had overslept. Rangi tried to get up but there was a heaviness to her head.
“Hey, no getting up yet! You need to rest!” Atuat’s hands firmly guided her back into the bed. “I healed you pretty well, but that concussion was nasty.”
Rangi suddenly remembered everything that had happened last night and anxiously asked: “Where’s Kyoshi?”
“She’s fine, don’t worry about her”, Atuat waved at her dismissively, “She’s outside, I had to send her avatar ass out of here ‘cause she was moping around about how this was all her fault, it was exhausting.”
Rangi chuckled thinking about her oath. “Yeah, that sounds like her, could you tell her to come in?”
“If that’s what you want”, the healer shook her head in resignation, “but no funny business in that bed, your head is still not fully healed!”, she said loud enough to be heard outside the room.
“IT HAPPENED ONCE!”, Kyoshi said entering the room, her face as red as a tomato.
“And I’ve never been the same.” Atuat squinted at both of them.
Rangi could only bury her face in shame at the reminder. The truth was they had been more careful for some time, but everyone in the house loved to conveniently ignore their efforts. Her embarrassment, however, was soon forgotten when she looked up at her girlfriend, who was smiling with such relief in her expression that Rangi couldn’t help but return it.
“How are you feeling?”, Kyoshi asked, carefully approaching her bed. Taking her hand into hers, she used her firebending to warm Rangi’s hands, which were unusually cold. She frowned at the guilt that came back to Kyoshi’s face.
“I’m fine, these come with the territory”, Rangi said, pointing at her bandages. While partially true, she couldn’t deny that her whole body felt… colder. Kyoshi didn’t need to know that. “I’m more concerned about you, what happened after I blacked out? Who was the intruder? How did he get in without being noticed?” Her mind was going three hundred miles an hour, already making the tactical changes to the defense of the mansion. She knew it was a mistake to get rid of most of the guards.
“It’s alright, nothing happened to me”, Kyoshi quickly reassured her, “The intruder was a former commander from Xu Ping An during his heyday. Wanted revenge, nothing more elaborate.” Her girlfriend’s voice took a sharper edge when talking about the yellow neck, a glimpse of the darkness that brewed under the surface, which Rangi could see from time to time. “He’s in the cellar now. But let’s just say that he won’t be looking for trouble any time soon.”
“Did you interrogate him?”, Rangi asked, not dwelling in what the former statement could’ve meant.
“I did!”, Kirima walked in proudly, poking her head through the door before Kyoshi could reply. “The giant over here scared the living shit out of our dear guest, so I had to do the dirty work to get something coherent out of him.” A teasing smile came to her face, “He was shocked at how dedicated the Avatar’s bodyguard is, even sleeping in the same bed as her to keep her safe.”
“Dear God, just get to the point!” Rangi groaned.
“Chill, topknot, it’s not good for your head!”, Kirima teased. “Apparently there’s a blind spot between on the northeast gate that the guards usually miss when doing rounds during the night. It should be easy to eliminate during the rebuilding.”
Rangi was already thinking about berating her guards for not doing a thorough job when something stuck out to her, “What do you mean ‘rebuilding’?”
“Oh, you gotta ask the holy bridge between man and spirit over there”, Kirima said, quickly escaping the situation. “I’m glad you’re fine, though!”, she yelled before disappearing.
Rangi directed her inquiring gaze towards her girlfriend, who sheepishly tried to smile - she looked like a twelve year old caught stealing cookies. “I may or may not have gone into the avatar state and destroyed half the east wing?”
“Oh my God, you rocks for brains!” She could not believe it. One could not pass out for a few seconds without having her room destroyed.
“I got so scared! You looked like you were dead for a second!”
“You’re the master of all four elements! You could have easily taken him out without collapsing half the building we live in!” Rangi pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to calm herself down. “Did you at least save the scrolls I was reading yesterday before going to bed?”
“Oh actually yes!”, Kyoshi said, got up and opened the trunk by her new bed where a bit of their stuff was haphazardly thrown in. This room was apparently going to be their temporary accommodation. “The wall fell on the other side, so this and almost all your things stayed completely intact.”
Kyoshi looked so hopeful and apologetic holding her papers, that she couldn’t help but feel all the love she had for her girlfriend all at once. It almost knocked her breathless, “You’re lucky you’re cute”, Rangi said, grabbing Kyoshi by her robes and kissing her thoroughly.
They were so engrossed in their activity that they did not hear the door opening. “Again?!”, Hei-Ran was completely done with the whole situation.
After a stern talking-to about the appropriate time and place in which they could show their affection - which had both of them unable to even look at each other -, Hei-Ran commended her daughter for how quickly she had reacted. Rangi could see the pride in her eyes, even if her mother wasn’t the kind to be overly demonstrative.
“However, the fact that there even was a blind spot on the guards’ rounds is unacceptable and has to be taken care of today. I’ll see to it myself and show you the new walls during training. Once you’re fully back on your feet, of course.”
Rangi cringed internally. She knew her mother would not go easy on her as punishment for her security oversight. “I’ll be there.”
It was another two days before Atuat let her get out of bed - mostly because she annoyed her so much. But the truth was, Rangi was aching for something to do, not just because of her restless nature, but because the wintertime in Yokoya seemed to be especially cold this year. Rangi couldn’t remember ever feeling this cold before, not even on the poles. She hadn’t told Kyoshi about this, so she wouldn’t worry... still Rangi had the sneaking suspicion that her girlfriend had noticed but hadn’t actually said anything since she was enjoying the increasing amounts of cuddling she was engaging during the nights to retain heat.
Hei-Ran was standing in front of her at the crack of dawn, ready to start warming up. After a few laps around, and twenty minutes of horse stance, they were ready to get started. Picking their usual routine, both firebenders started moving together in perfect synchrony. Rangi’s movements were precise and crisp as always, making her sleeves snap with each motion.
Rangi breathed in, channeling all her internal chi the way she had been taught as soon as she could walk. Her arm extended in a motion worthy of the Avatar’s bodyguard meant to send a short burst of flames. But there was something wrong.
No fire was coming out of her.
Rangi looked down at her own hand in confusion. That had never happened before, not even when she was a little kid. In fact, during her early training, she had to fight to keep her fire under control.
On the other side of the training yard, Hei-Ran paused when she noticed her daughter wasn’t following her. “Why did you stop, Rangi?”, she asked in the same way a teacher would berate a student for not handing in their homework in time.
“It’s nothing, mother, I must have gotten distracted”, Rangi said, pushing her sudden anxiety down. It was just silliness anyways. Firebending doesn’t just disappear.
“I understand that you’re just recovering from that blow to the head, however, a lapse in discipline is not acceptable” Hei-Ran tried to sound understanding, but failed miserably. They returned to their initial positions. “You’re the last barrier between the Avatar and their enemies, which means active razor-sharp focus at all times!”
“Yes, mother.” Rangi shook herself and tried being aware of every part of her body. A deep sense of dread settled into her chest when she realized she could not feel her inner fire. She hadn’t been able to for a while.
Desperately, she flailed her arms in a poor show of technique. Hei-Ran stopped in her tracks, personally offended by her daughter’s form. “What is going on, Rangi?”
“I… I don’t know!” Rangi was shaking, her breath was coming out raggedly. Out of pure muscle memory she went through the katas she learned when she was four years old. They were easy, designed to boost the child’s confidence in their element.
But nothing came.
“Is everything OK?” Kyoshi had run towards them without her noticing.
Hei-Ran didn’t answer, stunned frozen in place. Rangi continued kicking and punching the air, trying to produce some form of heat in vain. She fell to her knees, coldness permeating her chest, heaving as if she couldn’t breath. “I can’t firebend...” It was but a whisper. Rangi looked at her shaking hands… small drops of water falling onto them. Only then she realized she was crying.
Strong arms wrapped around her, helping to center herself, giving her a little bit of the warmth she had been missing. Kyoshi let her girlfriend grab fistfuls of her expensive robes, not caring about the dirt or the snot ruining the fabric. “It’s alright, you’re going to be alright,” She repeated soothingly.
It made no sense, firebending didn’t just disappear out of nowhere. Had she slacked off in her training and this was punishment by the Universe? Was she going crazy and imagined a lifetime of firebending? Was she broken beyond repair?
After some time, Rangi let herself be picked up by Kyoshi and taken inside the mansion. She vaguely wondered where her mother was.
******
If Rangi were feeling charitable with herself – which she wasn’t at the time – she would have to admit that she had tried everything she could think of. Atuat had gone over her body with her healing abilities twice a day for three weeks. According to her, there was nothing physically wrong with Rangi. Her head had healed completely from her concussion, and the outer flows of energy were working as they should. “Whatever she has, it’s out of my wheelhouse”, she sentenced in her usual breezy nature, however Rangi had seen the pity.
Rangi supposed she had to get used to the pity from now on.
When Kyoshi heard Atuat’s conclusion she immediately leaped into action. If the situation weren’t so painful, Rangi would have been proud at how much her girlfriend was embracing positive jing. The Avatar had commuted with her past lives, searching for clues as to how she could fix her. Apparently Kuruk had suggested the possibility of a vengeful spirit having a negative influence on the closest ally of the Avatar. Since then, Kyoshi was either in the library researching past legends, or entering the spirit world to try and find someone she could fight. Of course she did all of that during the night, because she spent all day tending to her depressed girlfriend.
Rangi supposed she had to get used to being tended to.
Jinpa dragged her into meditation. His reasoning was that her chakras must have been blocked given the huge hit Rangi took to her head. She had never had trouble with meditation before; While Rangi usually preferred the active movement sense of purpose that physical training provided, it still came easy to her. Not anymore. She would sit next to Jinpa and not be able to stop shivering long enough for her to concentrate.
Rangi supposed she had to get used to the cold.
Her mother was another story though. They had tried training only once; the day after she found out she couldn’t firebend anymore. Kyoshi had suggested it, thinking maybe the incident had just been a fluke. So Rangi was allowed to calm down for twenty-four hours before trying again. Hei-Ran had been in her usual teacher demeanor as always, but Rangi could sense a slight hesitance.
When it all inevitably ended in humiliation, some screaming, and tears spilled all over Kyoshi, Hei-Ran had left the courtyard in a hurry. The shame was evident in her hunched shoulders. Ever since then, she would avoid her daughter like the plague, going as far as turning around whenever she saw her coming.
Rangi understood her mother; after all, she was also ashamed of herself.
Oddly enough, the few peaceful moments she was able to find throughout her ordeal were coming from the place she least expected them. Whenever Wong found her wandering aimlessly around the mansion, in the rare times she managed to lose her overbearing girlfriend, he would wordlessly take her to a quiet corner, serve her tea, and sometimes sing high poetry.
Kirima, on the other hand, was usually more radical, helping Rangi get blackout drunk and letting her release all her pent up anger at the universe. The burn that the alcohol left in her throat was a sweet reminder of what she had lost.
It had been six months. Six lunar cycles. One hundred and eighty days of coldness and uselessness. Rangi laid in her bed, underneath the covers, hours after the sun had already risen, not sleeping but definitely without a clear mind. Kyoshi had tried to get her to come with her to get some breakfast, like she ceaselessly did everyday for the past half a year. But Rangi refused. Auntie Mui’s dumplings were reserved for contributing members of the household.
That day, Rangi was feeling particularly hung over after drinking half her body weight in cheap plum wine and falling from the roof of the house, trying to sneak away from Kyoshi. Thankfully, her girlfriend had reflexes worthy of an Avatar and had caught her before she could test out if another cracked skull could give her back her bending. In that state of intoxication, she reminded Kyoshi that she still loved her, even if lately Rangi was having trouble showing it. She may have imagined the soft water drops that fell on her forehead.
Her girlfriend peeked her head inside her room, carrying a tray with green tea and some mushroom dumplings. Rangi had to stifle the need to throw up at the smell. “How are you feeling, love?”, Kyoshi asked her, carefully placing the tray on their small table. Rangi just grumbled; her girlfriend did not seem discouraged. “It’s a beautifully sunny day outside, I brought you some food and locked Kirima in the basement so she could think about her actions.” Kyoshi offered her a very cute smile. “Come on, those are all things you enjoy, I even managed to get stalknose mushrooms for your dumplings!”
When she didn’t answer, Kyoshi started to carefully comb her hair with her fingers in a soothing manner. “I know it’s been a rough couple of months, but we’ll find a solution and give you back your firebending, I swear it on my honor as the Avatar.” While her girlfriend was never as intensely focused on honor as a fire national, the gesture touched Rangi nonetheless.
“Thank you”, Rangi’s muffled voice was heard saying.
“Also, I have great news!”, Kyoshi said like an excited child, “A falcon arrived this morning, informing us that a Fire Army representative would be getting here today finally!” It was their last effort, asking the Fire Nation if they had heard of something like this ever happening before. “If they are sending a representative, it must mean they have something! Otherwise they could have just sent a letter saying no.”
It was true, the Fire Army was nothing if not efficient. Reluctantly, Rangi sat up in her bed and let a hesitant smile appear on her face; a glimmer of hope was beginning to appear. Kyoshi took her chopsticks and started feeding her with the utmost care. It reminded Rangi of all those times she had done the same for the Avatar.
“How did you even get stalknose mushrooms at this time of the year?”, she asked her girlfriend, letting herself enjoy a meal for the first time in longer than she could remember.
“The Avatar never reveals her secrets.” Rangi only arched an eyebrow in disbelief, and held Kyoshi’s gaze for a long time. “Ok, so there’s a slight chance I got in contact with the Fire Nation Royal Palace cook and convinced him to get some mushrooms smuggled in here.”
“Spirits, give me strength... what did you give him?”
“Nothing, I promise… but on an unrelated note, I have to officiate a Fire Nation wedding next spring for a good friend’s daughter, so I could use your help with all the ceremony’s formalities”, and her girlfriend dared give Kyoshi that slanted smile she loved so much.
Rangi shook her head and chuckled slightly, struggling between horror and amusement. Even she had to admit how much she had missed the lightness between them. “I just hope the Fire Army representative isn’t here to arrest you for stealing mushrooms from the Fire Lord.” That was just a joke… right?
Kyoshi only laughed as if she was remembering a joke. While Rangi had always wondered what had happened with Fire Lord Zoryu, but now, despite her renewed high spirits, certainly was not the time to ask. Instead, she leaned in and kissed her girlfriend sweetly, for longer than they had in months. “Sorry for being such a burden and getting mad at you when you only want to help.”
“You’re never a burden”, Kyoshi said firmly. Rangi only smiled sadly at that; she knew that the Avatar would never admit it, even if it was true. But maybe, after today, she wouldn’t make her worry anymore. “You should start getting ready before the representative gets here”, Kyoshi’s nose scrunched up teasingly, “your breath smells like stale wine.”
Had Rangi still had her fire bending, her girlfriend’s eyebrows would have been gone already. As it stood, she only threw a pillow at her face.
Despite everything, the lieutenant took painstaking care into her grooming that day. It was not a secret in the mansion that her personal hygiene had gone downhill for some time now, so there was a lot of work to be done. She couldn’t face a superior officer with anything less than perfection.
When the time came, Rangi stood in place at the entrance of the complex, her full military uniform shining bright in the high sun, and her topknot crowning her head proudly. Kyoshi stood next to her, daofei make up and full Avatar garments giving her an aura of transcendence that never failed to cause awe in those around her. Jinpa was standing behind them awkwardly holding some parchment to take notes.
Her mother had excused herself from joining the meeting, citing her cut off topknot as an excuse. Rangi clang to the hope that after this meeting she wouldn’t give Hei-Ran anymore cause for shame.
In the distance they soon spotted a single figure riding on an ostrich horse. That was weird… they were expecting a high-ranking officer of the Fire Army, and such procession usually entailed much larger caravans. “They probably just decided that an ostrich horse would be quicker”, Kyoshi whispered, anticipating her anxieties. Yes, that was probably it.
Once the figure stopped in front of them and dismounted, Rangi could see that it was a woman, about her age if not younger, wearing a Fire Army uniform identical to the one she was currently wearing. She approached them by foot and bowed lowly with the fire nation hand gesture. “Avatar, it is an honor to be in your presence, my name is Sheza, of clan Keohso, first lieutenant of the Fire Army.”
“I welcome you into my home, Sheza of the Keohso clan”, Kyoshi returned the bowing, albeit not as low. She had learned some etiquette in the days after the Camellia-Peony war. “This is my bodyguard and close confidant, first lieutenant Rangi of the Sei’naka clan.”
By then, rumors about the true nature of their relationship had traveled far and wide, but Rangi appreciated that Sheza didn’t seem fazed. “Lieutenant, I am flattered to finally meet such a famed Avatar companion.”
“We are the ones flattered by a visit from a formal emissary of the Fire Army.” After bowing to each other, Rangi noticed the way her eyes lingered on her face and collarbone. The truth was, she had been neglecting herself for some time now, and the bags under her eyes, sunken cheeks and ill fitted armor, now that she lost some muscle, were plain for everyone to see.
Jinpa later guided them inside, sending a quick thumbs-up at Rangi, which thankfully was not seen by her compatriot. Even though every resident in the household had made themselves scarce, it was as if the earth itself was brimming with anticipation.
Once they were seated in the Avatar’s study with some ceremonial tea, Sheza was the first one to break the silence. “If you’ll allow me, Avatar, I would like to relay a few important messages that were sent to you and your companions by the great fire sages, high officials of the Army, and even the Fire Lord himself.”
“Please proceed.”
“First of all, both the Army and the Fire Lord want to express their deep sorrow at the unfortunate turn of events that have rendered one of our finest officers unable to firebend.” It stung a little, but the authenticity in Sheza’s expression calmed them down. “Given that Lieutenant Rangi valiantly protected the most important person in the world at great personal cost, the Fire Army has decided to promote you to Captain effective immediately.”
That was something Rangi never saw coming. She carefully took the scroll from Sheza’s hands and opened it. Her name was written in golden ink next to her new rank. The promotion was signed by the Fire Lord himself. She stood up, bowed and said, “I appreciate you bringing me these news, lieutenant.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kyoshi positively beaming at her in a very ‘close confidant’ way.
“It has been an honor, Captain.” Sheza hesitated for a split second before continuing. “However, that is not the only reason I am here.” A slight tremor of anticipation went through Rangi, the hope she had been harboring flared in that moment. “The Fire Nation Sages have searched far and wide for an answer to your loss of firebending, but have been unable to even find one documented case of it ever happening.”
The silence was deafening, but the lieutenant was not done talking. “Therefore, the Fire Nation has decided to honorably discharge Captain Rangi, with the highest commendations and a place of honor in the Avatar books.” Sheza handed her the scroll and in that moment, it finally clicked why a young lieutenant had been sent alone to greet the Avatar. “In her place, I have been stationed as your new personal bodyguard, Avatar Kyoshi.”
To her credit, Sheza did seem very awkward and a little bit embarrassed at the sudden stillness of the room. That is, until Kyoshi started— “I’M GONNA KILL THAT LITTLE RAT ZORYU, WHERE IS LAO GE?”
“Kyoshi, let us take a deep breath…”, Jinpa tried to intervene but the rage coming from the Avatar was too great.
“NO!”, she yelled, slamming her fans on the table in front of them. Although her vehemence was undercut by the deep breath she actually had to take before her eyes started glowing again. When Kyoshi spoke, her voice was tightly controlled but it was plain to see the simmering wrath underneath it all “Thank you for delivering your… recommendations, but we will choose to ignore them, your services are not needed nor wanted here.”
Fear, hurt, shame, anger, and a myriad of other emotions passed the Lieutenant’s face before she could school her expressions. Even though Rangi was feeling like little ice needles were sticking in her chest, she pushed herself to protect Kyoshi one last time. “We are terribly sorry for the outburst, Sheza, you must understand that emotions are a little heightened. I can assure you that it was not the Avatar’s intention to insult the Fire Lord, the Fire Army or slight your honor.” Another international incident was the last thing she could handle now, and certainly she was not in any shape for an Agni Kai. “If you’ll excuse us for just a few moments, the Avatar will be right outside to brief you on your new duties!”
“But Rangi…”, Kyoshi tried, this time with more despair than outrage.
Rangi shook her head briefly. If the lieutenant was surprised that a subordinate of the Avatar could give her orders, she did not show it, only nodded once and exited the room. “The Fire Army is right, you need the best protection the four nations can offer… and sadly that’s not me anymore. She seems like a fine soldier, my mother should be able to vet her thoroughly in any case.”
With that, she stood up and left, nodding only once at her replacement on her way out. Kyoshi tried to reach out and stop her, but Jinpa held her back. Rangi didn’t feel like crying, nor was she angry at being set aside, she wasn’t feeling much of anything at all really. The former Fire Army Captain reached to her head and undid her topknot, letting her headpiece carelessly fall to the mansion’s floor.