Chapter Text
“Why do I always seem to find you in dangerous situations?” Keith asked as he helped Pidge down from her spot on the ceiling.
“Luck?”
She’d been hanging from a beam stretched across the length of her parent’s empty shed that she used as her lab for some of her crazier experiments. It had started as a test to see how bats lived, after her brief discussion—er, argument—with Matt about how Batman had a cave, so why couldn’t he also canonically sleep upside-down? But she’d gotten stuck and she dropped her phone before she could think to call anybody. She was just stretching to reach it, feeling the blood rush to her head, when Keith ambled in.
“Yeah, luck. You’re lucky I came over today,” he said without his usual snort of amusement. “Would anyone even have thought to look for you here?”
“Maybe.” She shook her head, dizzy, as all her blood got back to where it was supposed to be, then grinned at him. “And it’s not luck when you come over every day at the exact same time, Keith.”
He glared at her, but didn’t stay mad. About her teasing, at least. “I just don’t like you running off into danger. Or hanging in it, I guess. I’d prefer it if my best friend stays alive, and I’m sure everyone else would agree with me. We’ll be late, by the way, if we don’t leave now.”
She bent down to retrieve her phone before grabbing her jacket from where it was thrown over her chair. “Yeah, yeah. Just let me say goodbye to my mom and dad and then we can go.”
They walked together through the last dribbles of rain to the house. Pidge called inside to alert their presence as they stepped in, tapping the water from her shoes while Keith slid the back door shut behind them. Her mother came in from the kitchen with a weary look, but smiled at the sight of Keith. “Are you off, then? Say goodbye to your father first.”
“I was just on my way,” she replied, nodding. Keith stayed there with her mother as Pidge slipped into the next room.
Her father was there, sitting motionless on the couch as he always was. His head didn’t move, but his eyes slid over to look at her as she approached him. She sat beside him, smiling up at him as she took his unmoving hand in hers. “Hey, Dad. Keith just got here, so I came to say goodbye before we go.”
He moved his eyes a bit and she laughed. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll be home before curfew. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t be able to slip past Mom anyway.”
There was a low sound in his throat as his breath quickened and his chest spasmed. He was laughing, Pidge knew, in whatever way he could now that his illness had progressed so far. It was painful to think they would only have a year left with him, that he wouldn’t be there to see her graduate or get married or have kids, but she pushed it down until it was just an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Every part of her hoped for a heart song right then and there, that he would start singing to soothe her worries, that she could hear his voice again, but he stayed silent. Instead of staying longer, she pasted on another smile and kissed him on the cheek. “I promise I’ll be back soon, and then we can beat Matt at Killbot Phantasm again.”
He almost smiled. She could tell he was trying, so she didn’t fault him when he failed. She just waved and left him there as her eyes misted over.
Keith was waiting for her at the front door. He opened it for her and followed her out, waiting until they got to the sidewalk before reaching over to grab her hand in commiseration. She squeezed it tight, part of her grieving his own loss of a father and another part blessing the warmth of his hand in hers as she shivered under the cloudy sky.
They didn’t speak until they reached Hunk’s street a few blocks over and they could see Shiro’s car parked out front. “I’m sorry I’m no fun these days,” she mumbled to him, swinging their joined hands to distract herself.
He glanced over, one eyebrow arched. “Pidge, you don’t have to apologize for what’s going on. It’s not your fault he’s sick.”
She nodded, shrugging. “I know, but I’m surprised you guys still invite me to these things when I’ve become the designated party-pooped.” She smiled a bit and elbowed him in the side. “I guess you’re just glad it’s not you anymore.”
He shook his head at the bad taste of her joke, but she could see the corners of her mouth twitching up into a smile. They hadn’t been best friends for so long because they had the same sense of humor, but it certainly hadn’t hurt. “Katie,” he said, his voice quiet and at the sound of her name, she sobered; he never used anything but her nickname unless he was serious. “I don’t think you get it at all. We don’t care if you’re not as fun as you used to be. At least, I don’t care. I’m just happy to be around you.”
She beamed up at him. “Aw, Keith!”
It was his turn to shrug. “What are best friends for?”
She let go of his hand as they approached the front door, pulling down the sleeve of her hoodie and shoving her hands into her pockets. After Keith knocked, he turned around as if about to say more, but when he opened his mouth, it wasn’t just words coming out.
I’m thinking ‘bout how
He stopped there, and Pidge had to ask, just to be sure. “Were you just...singing?” She hadn’t heard any accompanying music, but it’d been a fairly short line.
He gave her an odd look. “What? No. I can’t sing.” But he went on anyway, the liar.
People fall in love in mysterious ways
And he’d lied about more than just whether he’d been singing, because he could sing too. He could sing very well. If it hadn’t been so shocking, Pidge probably would have laughed and broken his song. But she wouldn’t correct him on that front; it would remain her little secret.
She cocked her head as she listened to the first few notes that joined him. It’d been a few days since she’d heard a heart song, and in the past two months, she’d never heard one from Keith. He usually kept a tight lid on his emotions. Sure, they were best friends, but she was guessing most days how he felt. It was nice, getting a glimpse into his head, even if she claimed to know him like the back of her hand.
Maybe just the touch of a hand
She had never heard this song before, so she couldn’t know the context of why he was singing it to her now. She almost wished they weren’t at Hunk’s just so she could listen without getting distracted by everyone else.
He swayed a little with the melody, and when she got lost in his intense—yet extremely soft—gaze, she reminded herself that he wasn’t aware of this, so she could lose herself to it without fear of embarrassment.
Me, I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
She blinked, caught off guard by the words and broken from her trance. Was he actually singing these particular words to her? Or was the song just eerily accurate for how he felt in the moment? She couldn’t tell yet, and she had no idea why he’d even be singing something that sounded so much like a love song. Keith barely even liked their little group of friends. The thought of him being in love was a bit far-fetched.
She was even further disoriented when the door opened to Hunk’s smiling face. “Come on in, guys.” She was suddenly grateful they weren’t alone, because the look on Keith’s face was making her squirm.
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Hunk stepped aside to let them in, and since Keith was still in heart song mode, he grabbed her by the hand again and pulled her in beside him. She was so close to him in the cramped entry hall that she could feel his heartbeat through his shirt.
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
She wasn’t imagining things. Keith was singing a love song, and he appeared to be singing it to her.
Place your head on my beating heart
“Sorry we’re late,” she said when Hunk just stared at her.
He shrugged. “No problem. Lance has been his usual entertaining self, so we haven’t exactly started the movie yet.” He headed for the basement steps. “But it’s not like we’d start without you guys anyway.”
I’m thinking out loud
You can say that again , she thought as she ripped her hand out of Keith’s and eagerly followed Hunk down the stairs. The gang assailed them at once and whatever Keith had been feeling eased back enough that he was no longer singing. His eyes were still on her, though, and when she laughed at something Lance said, it came out more nervous than she’d intended.
Keith noticed and leaned over, placing a hand on the small of her back. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
She practically jumped away at the touch, vigorously nodding. “Mhmm.”
Before he could call her out for lying, Shiro waved at her from his spot on the loveseat. She nearly ran to claim the space next to him so she wouldn’t have to sit by Keith. “You okay, Pidge?” he asked once she’d plopped herself down beside him with a huff.
“Just tired, I guess.” She tried to keep her expression neutral, but she must have failed because he didn’t look convinced. She was grateful when Hunk distracted him with a bowl of popcorn, flicking off the lights and starting the movie with a click of the remote.
Pidge focused all her energy on the screen, but she didn’t hear a word of what was going on. She was consciously aware of Keith’s gaze on her every now and then, so she sank lower into the sofa, cuddling up under Shiro’s arm. He didn’t question it; she was usually cuddly whenever they watched something, but this time she was using it as a mechanism to hide.
Halfway through the movie, Lance made them pause so he could take an overly long phone call with Allura, who had been working tonight and couldn’t make it.
Pidge groaned. It wasn’t like he only ever paused for her—he stopped every time his phone even buzzed, despite his friends’ protests—but his girlfriend’s calls always took the longest. “Can’t we just, I don’t know, keep going without him?” she asked, not for the first time. She liked it much better with the distraction of the movie playing. It left no room for stray feelings to turn into heart songs. “It’s not like he’s going to notice.”
But Hunk and Shiro denied the request, and when they went off to make more popcorn—because Shiro had eaten it all—Keith came to sit beside her on the loveseat.
The irony was not lost on her.
“Why are you acting weird all of a sudden?” he asked. “Is this because you still think you’re being a party-pooper, because I thought I told you—”
“Trust me, Keith, that’s not it. I believed you.”
He eyed her warily, but nodded. “Good, because, you know, these things wouldn’t be the same without you. I know Shiro and Hunk are here,” he continued, before she could blame her stress and take his thoughts away from her, “but Lance bugs me so much that I probably wouldn’t come if you didn’t.” He shrugged and met her gaze. She almost cursed when she saw that the look was back. “It wouldn’t really be worth it.”
He started singing again and she nearly punched him.
When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don’t remember my name
Pidge hopped off the loveseat to get away from him, but he followed her up, dancing around her to block her exit.
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way
He took both of her hands in his. She considered shoving him away, but the touch was so soft and he wasn’t technically aware of what he was doing, so she decided against it. No use giving him a black eye when he didn’t deserve it.
I know you will still love me the same
‘Cause, honey, your soul can never grow old
It’s evergreen
Despite herself, she smiled. The sentiment was sweet.
But when she remembered what it meant, she shook the thought away. Keith could not be in love with her. He was her best friend.
And yet...
Baby, your smile’s forever in my mind and memory
I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it’s all part of a plan
He pulled her in, letting go of her hands so he could grab her by the waist. Pidge couldn’t fight the blush that formed on her cheeks, and his hold was so firm that she couldn’t step away. With nothing but the dim light from the television screen to illuminate them, she realized this was more romantic that she’d initially thought. She fought hard in her mind to ignore the idea, but it was easy to forget her worries when his voice was so beautiful.
I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you’ll understand
She did understand, maybe a little more than he wanted, because she was sure if Keith knew what he was doing, he’d be blushing even more than she was now.
She knew that she should stop him, say something to change how he was feeling so he’d push her away. In fact, she had every intention to, but then he spun her out and she found herself laughing.
She was enjoying this far too much.
He was about to pull her in again when she heard footsteps on the stairs and three voices descending along with them. Instead he dropped her hand and turned to the noise.
She tried not to think about why she was so annoyed.
Lance was telling Hunk and Shiro about his conversation with Allura as they entered. She took one of the popcorn bowls from Hunk and returned to her seat, shoving a handful into her mouth to hide her flushing face.
Keith sat back down beside her and she stifled her groan. And when he rested his arm across the back of the couch, she idly wondered if he was trying to get her to cuddle with him. It wouldn’t be the first time, given her track record, but she now found herself calculating when exactly he’d started orchestrating it.
She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Hunk started the movie again as she leaned against the arm of the sofa instead and tried to enjoy the last half of the movie.
She thought in the darkness, with the distraction of an action scene, that Keith’s secret feelings for her would fade and his heart song would be over, but they must have been sitting too close still—even though Pidge was on the opposite side of the sofa—because he jumped back up again, a desperate rasp to his voice.
But baby now
This time she did groan—“Dang it!”—and the other three sent her confused looks from where they shared the longer couch.
Take me into your loving arms
She smiled nervously. “Uh, stupid graphics,” she lied as she waved a hand at the screen, though her view was blocked now by Keith trying to get her attention through the power of dance.
They nodded in understanding and looked away again.
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
He fell to his knees in front of her. She only rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. There wasn’t much she could do here in front of everyone, and if she ran away, he’d follow her, in heart song mode or not.
Place your head on my beating heart
He put a hand to his chest as if to remind her he had one. And, she supposed, before tonight, she hadn’t thought he did.
I’m thinking out loud
She mused that he was thinking a little louder than he’d expected as he rose again. He spun for flare and she clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. She lucked out when something shocking happened on screen and no one gave her any strange looks.
That maybe we found love right where we are
He sank back onto the loveseat beside her, a little closer than before, and sent her an amorous look he wouldn’t dare give her in the light of day.
We found love right where we are
She raised her eyebrows at him, sensing the end of the song, and he arched one back. “What?”
She shook her head and looked away. “Nothing.” She pulled out her phone to look up the lyrics, hiding it in the crack in the cushions so Keith wouldn’t see over her shoulder. Just as she’d feared, there was no mistaking the words: it was a love song.
Pidge shoved her phone back into her pocket and tried to ignore the burning feeling in her chest.
They watched the rest of the movie in silence, as far as heart songs went. Lance still yelled at the characters for making ill-advised decisions. Hunk still shrieked at scarier parts. Pidge grumbled about the physics of certain shots, and even Shiro complained when the main character couldn’t see that another was completely in love with them.
She might’ve joined him on that one on any other day, but after Keith’s love song, she felt she wasn’t worthy to judge others for their obliviousness. It would have been too hypocritical.
Keith, of course, said nothing on the matter.
Pidge was glad when the movie had finally ended and the lights turned on again, just so the mood could be alleviated somewhat, even if it meant he could see her better now. He sat up, stretching his arms over his head, and she wondered how bummed he was that she hadn’t cuddled with him. Maybe he’d have to sing a sad song to her now.
She wouldn’t have minded, with how beautiful a voice he was hiding.
“Anyone want ice cream?” Hunk asked as he stood.
“No!” she said quickly and then hurried to explain herself. “I can’t stay long. I’ve got a test in calculus tomorrow that I definitely have to sleep for.”
They all sent her mildly shocked looks at the mention of her willingly sleeping, but at this point, it was better than being stuck with Keith while he was singing her a love song against his will. “I’ll walk you home,” he suggested.
She nodded along. “Okay.” But she jumped up to help Hunk with the cleaning first. She nearly kicked him in the shin to get his attention, craning her head in the direction of the other room.
He seemed to get the hint and she watched him connect the dots of all her weird behavior from the night as his confusion changed to realization. “Hey, Pidge,” he said calmly, casually. He was a saint. “Help me take these upstairs, yeah?”
She ripped the bowls from his hands and ran the stairs two at a time. Hunk followed her up, chuckling, and she almost threw a bowl at his head when they’d made it to the kitchen. “It’s not funny, Hunk. How am I supposed to enjoy a movie, or heck, even act normal around Keith if he’s singing Thinking Out Loud right in my face?”
His laughter faded into awe, the cleaning forgotten. “He sang you a love song? Ooh!”
“No, Hunk! Not ooh,” she said, slapping him on the arm. She wanted a rational explanation for this. That was why she’d come to him two months ago when she’d started hearing people’s feelings through song. Well, that and the cookies he promised could drown out her insanity. She took one now from the plate on the counter. “It’s not a love song,” she insisted as she shoved the cookie in her mouth.
“Heart songs don’t lie, and Thinking Out Loud is definitely a love song.” He grinned at her. “I think Keith is in love with you.”
She growled at him and he laughed. “He’s not.”
But Hunk was already shaking his head. “Music is food for the soul, Pidge, and he’s singing to you.”
She glared up at him. “I thought food was food for the soul.”
He waved a hand in the air. “It is, but so it music, and he’s—”
“Singing to me. Yeah, I got that,” she said dryly. “But why? Because he’s not in love with me.”
Hunk deadpanned. “You’re kidding me, right? You’ve been hearing and interpreting these heart songs for how long? And you still deny a love song when it’s being sung right in your face. Unbelievable.” He took the bowls from her and got back to washing them out. “And you’ve known Keith for how long? And you still deny there’s any chance that he loves you?” He threw his hands up in the air. “Double unbelievable.”
“Hunk,” she whined, annoyed. “He can’t be singing me a love song. He can’t be.”
“Clearly he can,” he said with a pointed look over his shoulder.
“We’re friends,” she said with an air of finality, stomping her foot for good measure. “Best friends. That’s all.”
Hunk set aside the bowls and turned off the faucet, drying his hands on a towel as he faced her. “Look, Pidge, I’m not going to argue with you. I’m just going to wait until you stop being so stubborn and realize you’re wrong. Then we can talk.”
She scrunched her nose up, ready to fight back, but then Keith appeared in the doorway and she shut her mouth to keep from spilling anything. “Are you ready to go?” he asked.
She sent one more glance at Hunk—and maybe she stuck out her tongue too, sue her—before nodding and saying goodbye to everybody. When she and Keith were finally on their way home, her nerves were back on high alert as she waited for another heart song. She didn’t know why she was so sure he’d sing again, when it’d been two months of silence, but she couldn’t be unprepared if he did.
Especially if he sang another love song.
Keith was silent the whole way home, thank goodness, but when they got to her doorstep, he reached out to grab her arm before she could go inside. “I know this is hard for you, Pidge, but I want you to know you’re not in it alone. We’re all here for you.” He paused, his eyes flicking away. “I’m here for you.” He looked back up at her again, uneasy. “And because I know what it’s like, I promise that whatever I can do to help, I’ll do it. Just say the word.”
They were standing so close on the small porch, and Pidge couldn’t remember when his hand had moved from her arm to hold her hand, but she swore he was about to kiss her and for some reason, she didn’t want to stop him.
But instead he sang.
It was a short reprise of his song earlier, just a little ditty that had her thinking that maybe Hunk wasn’t entirely wrong.
I’m thinking out loud
He pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it. The touch sent shivers up her arm, but this time she didn’t try to pull away. She was too entranced.
He stepped back, letting go of her hand, and retreated down the walkway. He stopped near the sidewalk to turn and wave, and she lifted a late hand in return as he left, his heart song kiss still burning the skin near her knuckles.
She tried to forget it, but it plagued her mind and kept her up that night. It was only as she was finally falling asleep that it occurred to her Keith might have kissed her of his own volition.
Because if his heart song was true, then he was thinking about her, and he was thinking out loud.