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Buck and Eddie were fighting...again. They seemed to be having more and more fights. Nowadays it felt like they fought more than they were actually happy.
“We could’ve been something, we could have tried-” Buck says, almost sounding desperate.
“But we aren't. It didn’t happen.” Eddie adds on, obviously frustrated.
“I just don’t think this is working.” Buck admits weakly. Eddie sighs and slumps on the couch.
“I know. I need you to get out of my life.”
“I’m sorry, Eddie, but we need to break up.” Buck fights the waver in his voice and speaks steadily. Eddie just nods. Buck walks to the door and slips his shoes on. “Goodbye, Eddie.” Buck says finally. He opens the door and leaves, not waiting to hear Eddie’s response.
*** TWO MONTHS LATER ***
Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. That’s all that was running through his head. What was Eddie doing? Was Eddie thinking about you? Was Eddie on a date? Was Eddie at work? Buck’s thoughts were relentless. Sighing in defeat, Buck grabs his phone. It clicks after three rings.
“Buck?” Eddie’s voice comes through the phone and Buck’s thoughts stop. With his mind quiet, Buck doesn’t know what to say.
“Hey.”
“Hey. What’s up?
“Nothing. I was just checking in.” He lies.
“Oh, cool. Uh, hey, how’s the 132?” After their breakup, Buck decided to switch stations.
“It’s good. The guys there are really nice.”
The pair spends hours on the phone. Catching up, talking like old times. Like nothing had happened between them.
Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. The thoughts returned. After they talked the night before, Buck hasn’t been able to get his mind off of Eddie. He remembers Eddie saying that Chris was going to a sleepover that night. That’s what led to him standing outside of Eddie’s house, watching the Uber drive off. He knocks on the door and smiles a little when Eddie answers.
“Buck.” Eddie sounds breathless. The blond doesn’t answer, he merely glances in the house to make sure Eddie’s alone before smashing their lips together. Eddie kisses back eagerly. Shutting the door behind them, Eddie leads the way to his room.
Buck wakes up the next morning noticing the heat coming from behind him. He feels Eddie’s arm around his waist and the night comes flooding back to him. Thinking of Eddie. Calling an Uber. Showing up at Eddie’s door. Kissing him. Being under him. Then above. Then crashing to the bed and falling asleep. He glances at the clock. 7:44 It’s early enough that Buck can slip out with plenty of time before Eddie notices. So, he does exactly that. He carefully slides from under Eddie’s arm and pulls on his clothes from the night before. With one more glance at the sleeping man, Buck leaves the room and, eventually, the house.
Eddie groans as he wakes up. Before he opens his eyes, he remembers the previous night. Buck came over. He suddenly becomes aware of how cold the bed is. Eddie opens his eyes and finds the bed empty. He feels an urge to see Buck. To touch him. But he can’t. They aren’t together anymore. He lets a few tears slip past his lashes as he thinks about the man he let go. The man he lost, because Eddie was too stubborn to admit he needed him.
When Buck got home, he didn’t make it to his bed. He fell to the couch and dissolved into tears and sobs. He hated using Eddie to make him happy. But he needed it. Buck lived for it. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed Eddie. But he knew Eddie didn’t need him. So he sits there. On his couch. Crying about the man he loves. The man he lost, because Buck was too scared to say he loved him.
But hey, I guess that’s love.