Work Text:
Oh, oh, stick it down your throat
I'm watching from the bathroom
Making sure I don't choke, choke From the words you spoke
When you're screaming at the mirror
"You're so fat! Why can't you loose weight? God, there's no way Steve and Bucky are gonna wanna stay with you if you look like such a fat pig!" You tell yourself, tears leaking out of your eyes.
You had eaten so much at dinner a few minutes earlier. You felt fat. Ugly. Revolting.
Leaning over the toilet seat, you shakily move your toothbrush down your throat, further and further until you reach your gag reflex.
You throw up all that you ate.
Now you're sitting in the cafeteria
Shoving clementines and orange bacteria
Down your throat a dozen times a year, yeah
For another 'round of your bulimia
You put on a fake smile as you sit in between your super soldiers during lunch, kissing both their cheeks.
"Anything to drink, Y/N?" Clint calls out.
You remember what you had googled last night. "I'll have a Diet Coke." 'The bubbles help the food come up faster.' You added in your head.
You hurry when eating, though not fast enough to raise any suspicion.
You turn oranges to orange juice
Into there, then spit it out of you
Your body is imperfectly perfect
Everyone wants what the other one's working
No orange juice
You turn on your playlist loudly when you enter your room. The noise will drown out the sound of you vomiting.
You stand above the toilet as you stick the toothbrush down your throat. You gag as it all comes up.
Grabbing some water and mixing in a bit of baking soda, you drink the concoction to clear the taste of vomit from your mouth.
You step out, seeing your boyfriends cuddled up together on the bed, Bucky with his head on Steve's chest while they watch something on tv.
"Hey Darling," Steve's smile falls slightly as he looks at your face, "You okay, your eyes are really red."
You panic for a second before answering. "Yeah, I was just taking out my contacts. They were driving me insane." You smile as you join your unsuspecting soldiers.
Oh, oh, I believe you chose to blow it on the reading carpet
That's what happens when you're starvin'
Please say that you won't continue
Ordering oranges off the menu
S tuffin' up your mouth like t-t-tissue
T he way you look is not an issue
You sigh as you sit on the table opposite Steve and Bucky. Steve's forehead is balancing on his fist while Bucky has his hands over yours.
"Doll, You should've told us that you were feeling this way. We could've helped you." His voice is soft.
Steve takes one of your hands from Bucky. "Will you try to get better, Y/N? For us?"
You nod. "I'll try."
You turn oranges to orange juice Into there, then spit it out of you
Your body is imperfectly perfect
Everyone wants what the other one's working
No orange juice
Tears escape your eyes as you throw up into the toilet. You had been trying to get better, you truly had, but it was just so hard.
You feel two hands on your back; one flesh and one metal. "I'm sorry." you whimper.
"It's okay. We understand that it's hard." Steve whispers as he places soft kisses on your shoulder.
Ooh, I wish I could give you my set of eyes '
Cause I know your eyes ain't working, mmm
I wish I could tell you that you're fine, so fine
But you will find that disconcerting
Bucky wraps his arms around you as you look in the mirror. "You're looking beautiful. As always," He places butterfly kisses on your neck. "Regina mea frumoasă." He whispers.
"What does that mean?"
"My beautiful queen."
"OUR beautiful queen, Buck."
You turn oranges to orange juice
Into there, then spit it out of you
Your body is imperfectly perfect
Everyone wants what the other one's working
No orange juice