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The dimly lit, crumpled bar was full of heroes tonight, cheerful noises creating a juxtaposition with the ambiance. A red haired man walked to the table on the corner carrying an amount of beer no human should be able to balance.
“Grab your drinks everyone!” he yelled at the crowded table and immediately a bunch of arms reached out and fetched the glasses.
“Thank you, Kirishima!” Uraraka said cheerfully. Iida chimed in and thanked him for his diligence, he was pushed to the corner of the table deliberately, because when he was on drink duty last time, he judged everyone on their alcohol consumption to the point that Katsuki actually hauled over the table and tackled him.
Iida glanced at Uraraka, taking thirsty sips from her god knows how manyth beer, but kept his mouth shut, seemingly learning his lesson.
It was a classic class A reunion, or whoever from class A was available-reunion. They tried to do this often, their group chat was full of messages trying to find the perfect day with the most attendance. Other components of the group chat was, well- idle hero gossip, memes of each other they come across on twitter and of course, oh my god are you okay and get well soon messages.
Today, the table managed to become even louder, more unconcerned about other people at the pub, heroes were utterly unhinged. Because today’s topic was a fun one. They didn’t even know how it winded up to this but right now, class A’s members was trying to find the answer to a very vital question:
Who is the biggest slut in our class?
Jirou was still firmly holding her ground on her candidate; Denki and her anecdote on how she saw him hogging five different people the same night- at a business party no less, was gaining serious support. Denki objected, claiming Mineta was the sluttiest slut of the century but Tsu immediately smacked lip to the table and yelled, “Objection!”
“Slut and pervert are two completely different things, Mineta is and will always be a desperate pervert.” she elaborated. Her demeanor was stoic as usual but a faint blush coating her cheeks was the outcome of Uraraka consistently passing her shots.
Mineta went hysteric over this, spitting about how his game is top notch and girls swoon over him all the time. Nobody -naturally, believed him.
He was thankfully cut short by Aoyama, who gracefully nominated himself. “My twinkle dazzles a lot of people, I cannot help it, mes amours.”
“It’s true, it’s true!” Mina’s wine sputters on Tokoyami’s shirt, as she frantically swings it all over. “Yuga is a twink! I have seen him in action and I was- let me tell you that, I was shocked! He talks to this foreign ass hero while I grab us some drinks, right? I leave for 5 minutes, come back with drinks in my hands, and this bitch is already making an exit with his arms all around the guy! I was floored.” Fumikage gently takes away her glass and puts it on the table.
Izuku chimes in with a huge smile on his face. “Aoyama is very charming indeed, but let’s not forget that Ochako and her pink cheeks had hero community in chokehold until recently.” He is squeezed between Yaoyorozu and Todoroki, they nod along in harmony.
They all remembered the incident when a policeman and a low ranked hero actually fought for Ochako’s affection while she was making futile attempts to woo Miruko due to a bet with Denki. She lost a lot of money that night, along with a part of her dignity.
“Don’t forget about her jacked arms and abs!”
Tsu wholeheartedly agrees and places a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's arm. “She insists on carrying me to bed every night.”
Uraraka’s bashful expression is gone immediately. “Well, you are just so tiny!” She wraps her bulky arms around Tsu. “I want to carry you in my pocket.” Tsu buries her face to her neck and two of them dissociate for a while.
“So no one is going to say Jirou? No one?” Denki protests. Jirou rolls her eyes. “You are an A plus dumbass. I’ve been dating Momo since graduation, I didn’t fool around.”
“Exactly!” Denki points his finger accusatively. “You are a smart slut. You know what a catch Yaomomo was and snatched her up before she made her debut!” Jirou leans back, crosses her arms behind her head with a smug expression on her face. “First come, first served my man.”
“Jirou!” Momo looks bewildered, she slams her hand on her chest . “With all due respect, I flirted with you relentlessly for three years and finally asked you out due to my exasperation! If anything, I snatched youup.” The table choir let’s out an oooo to applaud Momo’s tenacity. A deep red blush covers Jirou’s face and she takes another shot.
“If we are talking about smart sluts,” Shouto is talking a bit faster than usual, his words are over pronounced to compensate for it. “I would like to bring Iida Tenya to this discourse.” Iida draws in a sharp breath, hands chopping the air as he defends himself from the allegation. “I have never- first of all calling your precious colleagues sluts is incredibly disrespectful, this discussion is unethical-”
“And who is your most precious colleague, Iida? Hatsume Mei?” Oojiro interrupts him. The only shocked gasp on the table is from the culprit himself, Iida is caught so off guard that he downright screams, “Who told you?” with a scandalized expression.
“You should know parking lots are not that discreet. We all have cars, you know.” Shinsou says beside Denki. Iida blabbers something and slams his head against the table furiously. Only Shoji, with his sharp ears hears the words, “I have warned her a million times, that shameless woman-”
Kirishima approaches the table again, arms full of drinks. “Okay, what did I miss, what did I miss?” His voice is filled with excitement. “We have finally exposed Iida and his affair with Mei Hatsume.” Sero fills him up. Kirishima giggles gleefully. “Oh my god, Iida. We also kinda figured out from your trips to her company, man. Nobody needs that many support items.”
A wave of laughter goes through the table, Ochako, Mina and Denki howling with tears at the corners of their eyes, Izuku and Todoroki try to contain their laughter and fail, even Mineta has recovered from Tsu’s words. “What about Hanta?” Ojiro offers. He is another proud member of the ‘i have started dating with my high school sweetheart and never stopped’ group, his accomplice being Hagakure.
“What about me, my friend?” Sero looks very at ease, like a man with no secrets, his long legs sprawled under the table.
“With peace and love, there is no way in hell you are not a hoe.” Everybody stops and thinks for a moment, Ojiro is absolutely right, Sero reeks that laid back flirtatious energy, but they have never seen him in action, they realize. They share a confused look, as Shouto says “I also put Hanta in the smart sluts group, along with Iida and Yaoyorozu.”
“An interesting alliance,” Tokoyami points out. Sero winks at him and turns his attention to Shouto. “What about you, Mr. Shouto? Everybody knows you whore out in every afterparty just to piss off your father-”
“Always a pleasure.” Shouto says, he gratefully accepts the tequila shot from Sato and downs it.
“When will you settle down, naughty boy?” Sero finishes his question. Shouto turns to his direction with his whole body, rests his chin on his hand and sends a playful smirk to his classmate’s way.
“When you come over here and make me.” he challenges and Sero’s smile grows. “Oh my god, is this allowed?” Denki asks Iida, but he has already ascended into another dimension due to embarrassment.
Ignoring his best friend’s indecent proposal, Izuku is desperately trying to console his other best friend. “Look, Tenya! You should own up to it like Shouto does! For what it’s worth, I think you two make a lovely couple!” Unfortunately, this only throws Iida even more off, he snaps his head and let’s out a startled yelp. “COUPLE?”
“We are going tangent.” Koda says. He was beyond embarrassed by tonight’s topic, but he must admit, it is more entertaining than the time they discussed hero charts and it ended up with Katsuki throwing himself to Izuku like a mountain lion and actually tried to bite his head off and they all got kicked out of the bar. “Who are our primary candidates?” he asks.
“Well,” Yaoyarozu takes the lead, since the president is out of order. “We have hard evidence on Todoroki, Denki, Ochako, Yuga- and even though he masterfully managed to keep himself out of this conversation, I nominate Bakugou.” Everybody perks up and looks at Bakugou, who is sitting with an empty beer bottle in his hands, a vulgar smile all over his face.
“You clowns.” he says, his voice has the same tone he spares for villains once he wins his absolute victory. “You morons. You complete buffoons. You sad excuses of-”
“Oi, bro. Stop insulting us.” Kirishima intervenes, although he looks curious about where Katsuki is going with this, the whole table is. “You are all missing the biggest, most dangerous and shameless slut on this table. This slut is so smart that even though he is NOT discreet at all, no one said his name tonight.” He makes sure to pause and throw a condescending look at everyone. What’s the point of this otherwise, you know? Ochako draws a sharp breath as her face enlightens. How can I miss this? she thinks, ashamed.
Katsuki lifts his arm and points across the table in the most dramatic way. “The real slut of Class A is none other than shitty Deku!” he announces.
Chaos erupts.
The table's knee-jerk reaction is to protest this- you can’t be serious, we are talking about Midoriya here, Aoyama looks very offended, he crosses his arms and says he can’t surpass my poise, Jirou cries no way, what about Denki?, but some of them, some of them sit silently as realization dawns on them. Shouto and Ochako share a look, ashamed that Katsuki picked up on this before they have, even Iida looks a bit shaken, it’s so obvious, Tokoyami, Shinsou and Denki do not participate in objections.
It’s Izuku’s turn to die of embarrassment, he actually saw it coming way, way before Kacchan’s accusation, from the sinister smile he threw at him as he craftily led the table to this discussion in the first place.
“Bakugou has a point.” Shinsou says.
“Oh, c’mon now! Look at him, look at his cute face!” Mina objects.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Denki looks like he is having an epiphany. “Okay, I want everyone to be honest right now. If you have fooled around with a certain green haired boy at some point from high school till now, please raise your hand. This is a safe space, there is no need to be ashamed.” His voice is too serious for the occasion, yet it fails to hide the fact that he is very much enjoying this. Izuku squeals, calls this unfair but it’s all in vain. The table is silent for the first time, as a bunch of hands tentatively goes up.
“Holy shit,” Mina says.
“Holy shit indeed,” Sero agrees.
Ochako’s hand is up with a smile, Todoroki doesn’t look ashamed at all, Iida looks like he took a vow of truth as a he hold one hand in his heart, the other up along with Aoyama’s- who had the audacity to look offended at Katsuki’s claims but that’s not all. Shinsou’s and Denki’s hands are up, they look at each other knowingly, Kirishima looks sheepishly at his best friend with his elbow on the table, hand straight as an arrow. They look at each other in bewilderment but there is something else in their eyes, amusement. Tokoyami sighs and joins Izuku’s collection in defeat when his boyfriend nudges him at his side.
“Et tu, Brute?” Momo says.
“What the actual fuck, Eijirou?” Katsuki adds.
Jirou is red as a tomato, but she doesn’t hold back. “Did you take a sex trip across Class A, Izuku?”
Izuku looks mortified, as he frantically tries to explain. “It’s- it’s not sex at all! I- we have experimented a lot during our debut years! I think the reason why heroes have so much, um- close interactions amongst each other is because adrenaline goes through our veins all the time-”
Everybody groans in agony.
“Are you saying that you made out with me solely because of adrenaline, Izuku?” Shouto asks solemnly.
“O-of course not!”
“Was I your experiment to determine if you like girls, Deku-kun?”
“No! I actually had a crush on you, you know that!”
“So you didn’t have a crush on me? Even though I gave you so much cheese.”
“Okay, that was actually kinda scary and that’s on you! But I- of course I think you are very dazzling.”
“How do you explain making out with me, and my boyfriend? Homewrecker. ” Denki wipes a imaginary tear from his eye.
With this, Izuku gives up and hurriedly takes Shouji’s wine glass and buries himself in it. “Sure, I can share.” The masked man says. “After all, I have also shared my boyfriend with you.”
Everyone is ruthlessly teasing Izuku now, who is on the verge of tears.
“Don’t worry, Izuku-chan.” Tsu says warmly. She reaches across the table and holds his hand. He latches onto it. “We are giving you a chance to explain how you managed to become such a slut.” she deadpans.
“Tsu!” he yells and pulls away his hand. He looks at the court before him and takes a deep breath. “Okay, first of all, Tenya, it was barely a kiss, it was a peck because we panicked that we didn’t have our first kiss yet.”
“It contained my sincerest emotions!” Iida says dutifully.
Izuku’s jitteriness reduces a bit. “Mine, too. It was very sweet. Thank you for giving me my first kiss.”
An easy smile spreads across Iida’s face. “It was my pleasure.”
“Ochako,” he continues. “We shared a goodbye kiss at graduation and I still cannot think of a better way to say goodbye to UA.” Ochako giggles and says “It was actually at the front gates, where we first met.” She informs Tsu. Mina coos and says ‘that’s so adorable!’
“Um, Kirishima,” he is nervous once again. Kirishima smiles, trying to put him at ease.
“Hey, dude! Let me explain this. So we were at the gym at Fat Gum’s agency, 20, I would like to add- so, seven years ago, Midoriya was benching over 300 pounds and I thought it was very manly, so I kissed him in the locker room!”
“Just kiss?” No one notices how Katsuki’s tone is uncharacteristically quiet, except for the two who are the cause of it. “Okay, there were some fondling and stuff but- Amajiki senpai actually caught us and passed out on the spot so that's a mood killer.”
“And he passed out again when he tried to explain to FatGum why he passed out in the first place,” Izuku adds.
Another wave of laughter erupts through the table and Kirishima puts his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder. He scoffs, but a small smile tugs on his lips.
“As for Denki and Shinsou, I was honestly so drunk that night-”
“It was the same night?” Hagakure says.
“Okay, Denki is purposely putting me in a bad place but actually the three of us were together at that moment.”
The table begins to applaud and whistle and Denki gets up and drops a curtsy. “Thank you, thank you!”
“We only made out and then I left those two to fend for themselves-”
“Oh boy, did we fend for ourselves,” Shinsou kisses his boyfriend passionately.
“If anything, I was the icebreaker you know, you two were kinda shy.”
“Contrary to common belief, that’s something you are apparently not, Izuku.” Jirou says. She reaches out and high fives Ojiro, whose hand is already waiting for her in the air.
“Objection, your honor!” Denki turns to Momo and slams his hand on the table, shaking the glasses. “She is slutshaming. She is shaming our slut!”
Momo sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’ll allow it.”
Mina huffs, thumping her foot. “Please get to Tokoyami, I’ve never wanted to hear a gossip so bad.”
Izuku smiles playfully and tilts his head to the side. “I think Tokoyami would appreciate it if we kept that memory to ourselves.”
Tokoyami smiles gratefully, because that was not a memory, rather a collection of them, when they have helped each other through some dark times, before Tokoyami found his way to Shoji, who already knew about everything.
Dark Shadow, to this day, is very obedient to Izuku but no one needs to know that.
“So wait a damn minute,” Sero chimes in. “I’ve never thought I’d say this, but Bakugou has a point-”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Tape face-”
“If there are this many people who have shoved their tongue down Izuku’s throat on the table why none of you dumbasses nominated him?” Sero continues, blatantly ignoring his angry friend. The question really made the recipient's think- why did Izuku’s name never come to their minds, especially since some of them knew for a fact that he moans like a pornstar on crack.
“Well don’t look at me and Iida, our kisses were juvenile and sweet. Nothing slutty about it.” Ochako excuses herself and her friend.
Denki and Shinsou look at each other with puzzled expressions, Denki scratches his temple, and even though he hasn’t short circuited in a while, the expression is reminiscent of it. Todoroki studies the table nonchalantly until he gets irritated by the silence. “Okay, I will be a saint and tell you the reason. We didn’t think about Izuku because it didn’t feel like… fooling around.”
If someone, anyone on the table was looking at Katsuki, they would see how his jaw clenched, how he held the bottle so tight that he was about to break it.
“It felt like having fun with a friend… natural and easy. At least with me. We actually fake dated to piss Endeavour off and let me tell you this, I had a marvelous time inviting him to Izuku’s apartment and showing off his All Might shrine.” He smiles fondly at the memory. “He almost had an aneurysm.”
“Dude, you have issues.” Mineta said. “I don’t want to hear it from you,” Shouto spats immediately. “Todoroki explained it very well.” Kirishima says and sends him an imaginary high five since he is too far at the table. Aoyama nods along.
“So what you are basically saying is Izuku-chan’s game is so good that you couldn’t even consider it as a make out session.” Tsu says matter of factly.
Denki leans over to Izuku and blows him a kiss. “It was an experience, baby doll.” Shinsou snickers and slaps his hand lightly.
“Okay! So decided by popular vote, Midoriya Izuku is Class A’s biggest slut. Any objections?” Momo slams her bottle like a hammer of justice.
“Can I say something?” Izuku asks with his signature smile on his face, the one that gives people the urge to squint their eyes because it’s too damn bright. He rests his cheek at the palm of his hand, the other wrapped around the stolen wine glass. “It’s not my fault that everyone on this table became such attractive, fun, enchanting people!” He looks at everyone's eyes one by one, lingers on Katsuki and the bright smile leaves itself to a different one, something more… urgent. “I just can’t resist you.” he finishes.
The heroes who defeat villains, lift cars, go into wrecked buildings without a hesitation blush like virgins and avoid making eye contact.
“Dangerous,” Shoji says, whose blush is luckily covered by his mask.
For the first time that night, everyone agrees.
“Anyone want to change their vote? No? Okay. Midoriya Izuku, you are officially given the title of ‘Biggest Slut of Class A.” Yaoyorozu announces.
“I will do my best to stay worthy of this title!” Izuku says, Katsuki clicks his tongue and Jirou twirls her ear jack in her hand and mutters “I still think Denki should have been but whatever.”
Once this big decision is settled, conversation breaks into groups, idle chat and laughter wanders around the table. Izuku leans over to Shouto and asks “How about the biggest slut of Pro Hero world?”
Shouto doesn’t even dwell for a moment. “I am sorry Izuku, but Hawks will beat you at that game every-single-time.”
They say heartfelt goodbyes, and promise to keep in touch as they get into taxis. People who live in the same district carpool so Denki beckons Katsuki, who- much to his dismay, lives 10 minutes from their apartment. Katsuki’s lips curl upwards, forming a devilish grin. “I will go with Deku.” he declares very loudly.
Everyone who scattered in front of the bar turns and looks, because his tone indicates that there is more he would like to say. They, for the second time that night, wonder where the red string is going. Aoyama downright tells the driver to stop, even though they are in the middle of the road.
“Your apartment is the opposite way of Midoriya’s, dude.”
“Oh? Well, I will not be staying at my apartment, you see.” Izuku grabs his bicep and buries his face at the crook of his neck. “Because I am tapping The Biggest Slut of Class A.”
They all freeze in shock for a moment, then collectively gasp as if they share one brain cell.
“What the ACTUAL fuck?”
“I KNEW IT!”
“Really Izuku? You are dating a man who uses the word ‘tapping’?”
“I will fucking bench your ass, pink cheeks!”
“I FUCKING called it. You owe me beer, Shouto.”
“We have never bet on this.”
“Since when?”
“I cannot believe Bakugou managed to woo Izuku.”
“That’s right you fucking extras! My boyfriend fooled around with each and every one of you” - an exaggeration, “didn’t like any of you” - blatant lie, “and realized I was the best lay in the world.” - the only part that held some semblance of truth to it. “So you guys can all suck it.”
He shoves Izuku inside the taxi as the rest of them stand there, staring at each other in stunned silence.
“Did Bakugou just… brag about his boyfriend’s sluttiness?”
***
Poor taxidriver, he was just trying to put food on the table for his family. He never took this as a particularly interesting job, if life carried even a little bit of fairness to it, he would be making soaps at his cabin right now.
But the fact that he got to eavesdrop at two hot topic heroes' conversation was more than a little consolidation.
“You are such an asshole, Kacchan.” Deku says, but there is no bite to it. His fingers are tracing the lines of Dynamight’s bicep muscles. “Did you plan on exposing me from the beginning of the night?”
Expose? I cannot wait to tell my kids about this.
He must’ve been staring because Dynamight glares daggers at him from the backseat. He swiftly turns his eyes on the road, he doesn’t want to die today, no sir.
“Tch. It was time those extras know you have more game than fucking Dunce Face.” His voice is gruff and low, it creates a juxtaposition with his companion’s bubbly tone. Crimson eyes are focused on calloused hands, following every movement.
Who is Dunce Face?
“Aww, you wanted to show me off! Oh my god, am I your trophy wife?” Deku squeezes Dynamight’s arm, a flippant smile on his face.
Street lights momentarily illuminate the blush betraying Dynamight. “As if. You can’t even cook a remotely decent meal.”
“But, Kacchan-” Driver can only describe his tone as purring, “A trophy wife never cooks. She makes up for her lack of traditional traits by keeping her husband satisfied with her… untraditional traits. ”
Taxi driver takes in a sharp breath and quickly covers it by clearing his throat, uurgh - because he didn’t just witness pro hero Deku’s hands grazing over Dynamight’s thigh, did he?
Dynamight’s adam's apple bobs slowly, he closes his eyes like there is a ton of weight on them. “Easy,” he hisses.
“Yes, it is easy.” Deku snuggles up to the nape of his neck as his other hand fondles Dynamight’s chest.
He came across these guys' interviews sometimes, when he was zapping through channels. One was supposed to be shy, sheepish and cheerful, the other one was barely forming coherent sentences as he was either frowning or yelling at reporters or his comrades.
Well, don’t believe what you see on TV kids, he thinks. ‘Cause this guy is fucking shameless.
“Hey, you.” He is startled, because Dynamight is actually talking to him. “Drive faster.” he growls.
He hears joyful giggles from back and what he thinks is a wet kissing noise, and decides to punch the pedal.
Maybe I should only tell my wife about this.
They don’t take the change as they get off the cab, so that’s a win.
***
They miraculously manage to enter Katsuki’s apartment in one piece, and by one piece they are glued to each other in every limb they have. “You little shit,” Katsuki snarls to Izuku’s lower lip. “You gave the cab driver a fucking heart attack.”
Izuku fimly gropes Katsuki’s ass and grinds their hips together. He lets out a guttural moan, he is out of patience, sitting like a good little boy at the end of that table when he could be sitting on his lap all night has been a test. A test he passed, but doesn’t feel accomplished at all.
“Cab driver, or you, Kacchan?”
“Fuck you.” Katsuki says. He lifts him up, Izuku doesn’t miss the chance to stroke his sturdy arms, if Katsuki’s arms were a religion, Izuku would be the preacher.
“That’s my line, but you missed a few words there.”
“Huh?”
“Add-” They fell onto the mattress, “I am-” he flips them, straddling Katsuki, “going to-” he nibs at his earlobe, Katsuki shudders beneath him. “fuck you.” He unbuckles his belt.
“You have been very bad tonight, Kacchan.” His eyes darken with desire, a predatory grin covers his face. “I think I should teach you some manners.”
“And what if-” Katsuki grabs Izuku’s hair, yanks it back and kisses his throat, “I don’t learn? Will you go whore out with other shitty extras?”
Izuku holds his chin firmly, but kisses him slow and soft.
“How can I, Kacchan?” He cradles his boyfriend’s cheek, then shoves him down firmly into the pillows.
“When it takes all my time taming you?”