Work Text:
“Samu.”
Osamu looked up, trying to control his breathing.
One breath in, one breath out.
“Yeah, ‘tsumu?”
“Rin, he-” Atsumu looked at his brother with a look he’d never seen on his face before. Osamu hated it.
“He what?” Osamu fiddled with his cufflink.
“He’s gone.” Atsumu swallowed, and stepped forward, reaching out for his younger brother.
Osamu stepped back, instinctively.
“Tsumu, that’s a really mean joke.” Osamu’s voice was barely a whisper.
Atsumu could be cruel when his intention was to be funny, Osamu knew this, but since they’d graduated high school, Atsumu had grown so much. He hadn’t made a cruel joke in years.
And on his wedding day, to say the least.
“Samu, we can’t find him anywhere.” Atsumu grabbed Osamu’s hands, and pulled his twin into a hug. “Omi-kun called him so many times, but he didn’t answer. We don’t know where he’s gone.”
Osamu stared at the wall behind him. It had a beautiful painting on it, a splash of red and white, with forms on it that became blurry as Osamu’s eyes filled with tears.
He didn’t dare blink.
“Samu, I’m so sorry.”
Atsumu was rarely sorry. And rarely did he admit fault to his twin.
“Shut up-” Osamu choked out, trying to pull away from the hug. “No, he’s not- he didn’t leave. You’re- you’re joking- tsumu-” He whimpered, trying to escape the death that was Atsumu’s arms.
“I’m not, Samu, I wouldn’t joke about that. Please.” Atsumu let go of Osamu, simply to steer him towards the couch. The small room didn’t have much in the way of furniture- the simple style with a closet, a bed, a desk, anything you needed to get ready for a wedding at a shrine.
Osamu didn’t hear what Atsumu was saying anymore. He was shaking, lost in his thoughts, which were an ocean of noise. The door slammed open, revealing Kiyoomi, and Komori in tow, and both looked absolutely livid.
This was it.
Rin had left him on their wedding day.
Kiyoomi rarely looked angry. Atsumu rarely apologized.
Osamu stood up, tearing himself away from the teary hug of his brother, wiping off the tears from his own kimono.
It was a smooth material, traditionally black.
He didn’t listen to what Kiyoomi was yelling about, nor what Atsumu was saying to him. He stayed silent, staring hard at the window.
It was Rin who had proposed.
Had taken Osamu to the location of their first date, all those years ago. During one of Rin’s free weeks, which were so rare nowadays, he had taken Osamu to the little hill outside their hometown, with a picnic on a summer night with the stars above them.
Speaking words of love, and promises of the future.
“Osamu. What do you want to do now?”
It was Kiyoomi now speaking to him. Addressing him.
“We can take care of everything. You stay here with Atsumu, I’ll deal with all the guests-” Komori was now speaking, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked incredibly angry, with his eyebrows pulled in and creases on his forehead. Lips pulled into a mean frown.
Sympathy anger? Anger at his friend?
Osamu didn’t respond. His voice had shut down, his throat felt too tight to speak. It almost felt as if his spirit had left his body, and all he could do was walk towards the window and press his face against the cool glass.
A winter wedding.
Rin had wanted a winter wedding.
It was snowing outside, creating a beautiful backdrop for a wedding. Osamu had complained about the potential cold, of standing outside by the shrine while they said their vows would have to be a quick affair or else they would freeze to death.
Rin had teased him, “You would freeze to death for me though?”
Osamu closed his eyes, watching the guests hover outside.
His parents were probably waiting impatiently already, tapping their feet.
Was Rin’s family still here? What about his younger sister?
“Osamu?” Atsumu shook Osamu’s shoulder, “Please tell us. We can make everything okay. Just tell me what to do.”
Osamu scrunched his nose, tears slipping down his cheeks now. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t say anything. A pathetic croak came out, and he placed both of his hands against the window.
He had never thought about experiencing heartbreak himself.
He had watched, with concern and disdain, as his brother navigated the world of love and dating, getting his heart broken, over and over, while he had Rin by his side. A solid, comfortable, reliable partner that spoke about their future with such passion and dedication.
As if anything else was unimaginable.
He had seen how Atsumu crumbled underneath heartbreak.
He had never felt the physical pain of it, how it buried itself in his chest, and made his knees shake.
“I-” Osamu breathed out, and slid to the floor, on his knees, pressing his face into the wall.
Why did Rin leave?
“Where is Rin?” He whimpered finally, his voice so quiet.
Atsumu understood him nonetheless. “We don’t know, Samu. We don’t know. I’m going to send Omi-omi and Komori out, they can get Ma and Pa, and send everyone home. Take care of everything else. I’ll stay with you.”
“Rin’s family.” Osamu felt himself manhandled into turning around, Atsumu grabbing him and moving him to the bed. He let himself be moved.
“Yes, yes. Check with them, we’ll talk to them later.” Atsumu nodded at the others, or must have given them some sort of signal, because they left shortly after, sliding the door so roughly, the wall shook briefly.
Atsumu stayed quiet, and the only noise was the sound of Osamu sniffling.
Osamu, who was now laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
This wasn’t happening.
This was all just a bad dream, a really bad dream. A nightmare, and Osamu would wake up in Rin’s arms, and laugh and kiss him.
The longer Osamu stared, the longer he waited to wake up.
“Samu.” Atsumu nudged his brother, but Osamu didn’t look up. “Ma and Pa want to come up, Omi omi texted me. Should I let them?”
Osamu sighed shakily, standing up. He cleared his throat, straightening his robes. “Yeah, let them up.” He looked at Atsumu with a blank expression. He had never felt this numb inside. His body ached in ways that felt strange, and almost surreal, but his heart felt as if it was buried within concrete.
“Samu, I’m so sorry.” Atsumu stood up, reaching for his twin again.
“Stop apologizing!” Osamu hissed, narrowing his eyes. “It’s not your fault, so don’t you dare say sorry.”
Atsumu dropped his hands, swallowing nervously. “I can’t believe Rin would do this.”
Osamu didn’t reply. He couldn’t believe it either.
The door slid open, revealing both of his parents. His father, with tears in his eyes, came pouring out, and enveloped Osamu into a hug.
Osamu let him.
Their mother trailed in behind them, looking almost as livid as Kiyoomi had looked like. He could hear her cursing under her breath.
Promises of murder, and wrung necks.
This was the longest day of his life.
Rin had wanted a morning ceremony in winter, and Osamu had given him the perfect day. Planning every detail.
Kiyoomi and Komori returned after a while, too.
Rin’s family hadn’t been anywhere near here, either.
Had Rin called them away?
Had he warned them?
Had they known?
Osamu wasn’t sure how, but he found himself in the dining hall, eating the cake by himself.
His family was around here somewhere, he was sure. Taking care of everything that needed care taken.
So much food had been cooked, and it was absolutely delicious.
The cake had been Rinrin’s favourite flavour.
A flavour that Osamu had loved, too.
A beautiful ceremony in the morning, followed by a grand party in the afternoon. They had plans for the next day, for their honeymoon.
A honeymoon that Rin had been talking about for weeks.
He slammed down the plate, and with sudden anger bursting in his heart, he stormed his way out of the dining hall, and up into the hotel rooms, up towards Rin’s room.
Atsumu had his phone, still, and wouldn’t give it to Osamu. He was, himself, still trying to call Rin, and texting Rin.
Osamu reached Rin’s room, standing like a statue in front of it, with the hand on the handle. He felt physically sick, and the tears didn’t stop flowing.
Why did Rin leave him?
Where was he now?
Was he okay?
He opened the door, surprised that it was open, and looked around.
Their plan had been, to stay in the hotel for the night, enjoy the attached onsen, and fly to their honeymoon the next day.
Rin’s room was empty.
All that was left was his ceremonial kimono, and the engagement ring that Osamu had given to him, laid on the bed. Neatly pressed.
No note.
No suitcase.
No Rin.
Osamu picked up the engagement ring, staring at it in his hand. It laid there, burning into his skin, a brazen declaration.
Rin didn’t love him.
Rin couldn’t marry him.
Rin didn’t want to see him.
Osamu sank to the floor, clutching the ring to his chest, and finally collapsed. He let himself finally give in.
Rin wasn’t going to show up, magically. He had left, had left Osamu behind. And he didn’t love Osamu anymore.
He cried his fucking heart out, letting out ugly sobs. He must have been pretty loud, it was only minutes later that his closest friends found him like this.
“I-I ne-ed my ph-phone-” Osamu crawled for a second, then clambered to stand up once he spotted Atsumu, Kiyoomi, Komori, and Keiji. “Tsumu, give me my fucking phone -”
Atsumu, instead of his pathetic, sympathetic little pout looked absolutely murderous now.
“No.”
Osamu stared at Atsumu for a second, sniffling. He panted, with an open mouth, then growled. “That wasn’t a fucking question. Give me my phone now.”
“No. You’re just going to call Rinrin for hours, and I’ve already been doing that-” Atsumu stepped back when Osamu stepped forward, and Kiyoomi stepped forward, grabbed Osamu’s arms.
Osamu glared at Kiyoomi, hissing something ugly at him.
Keiji, bless his heart, just grabbed the phone from an unsuspecting Atsumu, and laid his hand on Kiyoomi’s arm.
“He needs to do this. Let him.” was all he said. Keiji knew what to say, when to say it.
Kiyoomi let him go, silent, and Osamu snatched his phone away, and stormed away from the rest of the group, clutching Rin’s ring.
He opened his phone, and stared at his messages.
Atsumu really had been hounding Rin for, what was now, two hours.
From murderous texts, to sad, pathetic begging, they had all been sent from Osamu’s phone with Atsumu’s signature.
No response from Rin.
12:23 am
This is Osamu. Rin, baby, please, let me know you’re alive and well. You don’t have to tell me anything, if you don’t want to. I just need to know you’re alive, okay? Please write back, I miss you, I love you. please.
Osamu typed out the message about ten different times. He had no idea what to fucking write, what to fucking feel, but he needed to know that Rin was at least alive.
Sent .
Osamu slid Rin’s engagement ring on his own finger, their hands were so similar in shape and size that it would fit for now. He needed to feel it on his skin.
Should he beg Rin to come back?
Should he plead with Rin to call him?
Should he understand if Rin didn’t want to be with him anymore, suddenly, with no fucking warning?
Had there been warnings?
Had he been too blind to see them?
Osamu turned around, breathing shakily, and glared at his friends, who were just staring at him.
“I’m-” going home . Is what he had wanted to say.
His home, where Rin and he lived.
Would Rin be there?
“I-” Osamu spoke again, but nothing followed.
He didn’t know what to do.
“What do I do now?” Osamu asked, and he felt pathetic. He felt betrayed, really, rejected. But most of all, he felt absolutely pathetic. And heartbroken. “Do I just go home? What if he’s there? What if he’s already moved out?”
Atsumu growled, but Kiyoomi just shook his head.
“You don’t have to go there, if you don’t want to. You can come stay with us. Atsumu and I can go over to yours, and grab a few things.” Kiyoomi offered.
Keiji nodded, “You can stay at mine, too.”
Atsumu huffed, “You could go on your fucking honeymoon and forget about this piece of shit- ”
“He’s not a piece of shit, you fucking asshole-” Osamu growled at Atsumu, surpising everyone and himself.
Atsumu stared at Osamu, then growled back. “Yes, he fucking is. He left ya on your fucking weddin’ day, Samu!”
“Fuck off, you don’t know why-” Osamu started shouting, stepping forward again to grab his twin.
He shouldn’t say that about Rin.
Kiyoomi stepped forward, not quite towering over the two twins, but put his hand on Osamu’s shoulder.
“For whatever reason he did, he did something horrible. Osamu, let’s go home.” Kiyoomi offered, placing his other arm around Atsumu’s neck.
“I wan’ to take the cake with us.” Osamu finally settled on, blood still boiling, heart still absolutely broke. He stormed past them, past Keiji, and down into the hallway.
He looked down at his phone, praying that Rin would reply.
Nothing.
#
The next week was rough.
It was really rough.
As in, it was really fucking difficult to do anything.
Osamu occupied the guest bedroom in Atsumu’s and Kiyoomi’s apartment. They had gone over to Osamu’s and Rin’s place, and grabbed loads of his stuff.
There had been no sign of Rin, but also all of Rin’s clothes were still there. His toothbrush. His suitcase had been unpacked. But no Rin.
Rin also had not replied to any of Osamu’s messages.
Osamu had tried not to overload Rin with messages. He was hurt as hell, angry, and upset, but Rin hadn’t written to him in a week.
If him messaging him every day, calling every day wasn’t gonna give him an answer, there was one thing left to do.
“Are ye sure?” Atsumu asked for the tenth time.
“I need to see him. I need to know why.” Osamu clutched Rin’s engagement ring. “He doesn’t love me anymore. Fine. He doesn’t want to reply to me. Okay.” He hissed angrily, tears filling his eyes again. “I need to know what I did to make him hate me so much.”
Atsumu looked at him, with this sort of sad look, that was really angry, and nodded. The two staked out in front of their shared apartment, Osamu clutching the key in his other hand.
A surprise attack was the only way he could get an answer, and final fucking salvation on the pain in his chest.
He could see the light was on in their apartment.
“If I’m not back in twenty minutes, ring the bell.” Osamu whispered, and left the car. He walked up to the building, nodding to the doorman. He made his way towards the lift, and went up.
Was Rin alone?
What would his reaction be?
Was he okay?
Osamu hesitated, standing in front of the door.
Biting his lip, he finally stuck the keys in, and opened the front door.
Inside, was Rintarou Suna, curled up on the couch, and staring at the door with wide eyes.
Osamu felt near fucking dizzy, and his stomach dropped.
“So you’re alive.” Osamu stepped inside the apartment and closed the door behind him.
Rin put down the bowl he was eating from, and stood up, holding his hands up. His eyes were red-rimmed, dark, and he was wearing his sad pyjamas.
Was Rin feeling guilty?
“Osamu- I- I’m so sorry-” Rin stepped forward, and Osamu held his hand up, leaning against the front door. He closed his eyes, taking five deep breaths, then took out Rin’s engagement ring. With a cast down look, he walked past Rin, towards the small table they had pressed to the back of the couch, and set the ring down.
Rin started talking again, “Osamu, please, listen to me, I-”
Osamu let out a bitter chuckle.
“I’ve wanted to listen to you for a whole week, Suna .” He said, using Rin’s surname to distance himself. He thought he would feel stronger, but all he wanted to do was run away.
“I-I know. I got all of your texts. And Atsumu’s.” Rin swallowed.
“Would have been good to know. Kiyoomi’s too? Komori? Did you tell your family not to talk to me too? Tell ‘em to ignore me? That I’m just a complete fucking stranger now?” Osamu wanted to sound angry, wanted to scream, but all his voice came out as was a pathetic little whimper.
“N-no, well, y-yes, but-” Rin started speaking again, and stepped closer.
Osamu had loved it when Rin used his height over Osamu. The few inches he had on him, he could meld their bodies together as one.
He held his hand up again, taking a step back.
“You can have the apartment. You can have everything here. Fuck. ” Osamu felt himself tear up again. All their memories were in this fucking apartment. If Rin hated him so much, why was he still here? “I just came to ask you one thing.” Osamu tried to take deep breaths, like Rin had taught him, but they came in shallow and weak.
“Why do you hate me so much?” He whimpered, letting the tears fall freely.
Rintarou looked like he had just been slapped. Mouth wide open, eyes staring at him, he looked pale. Pale and shocked.
“ Hate you? No, no, no! No!” Rintarou stepped forward again, ignoring Osamu’s held out hand, and took Osamu into his arms, wrapping them around his waist. “I love you, Samu, I love you so much.”
“Liar-” Osamu hissed, and pushed Rintarou away, hating how much he craved Rin’s touch. “You’re such a fuckin liar. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me on our fuckin’ weddin’ day. You would have answered my texts, my calls. If you loved me so much, you wouldn’t have left me .” Osamu whispered, looking up at Rin.
Rin’s eyes filled with tears now too.
“Osamu, you deserve so much better.” Rin shook his head, “I fucked up. I love you so much.” He reached out for Osamu again, but stopped. “You deserve an explanation.”
“Yes, I fucking do. Why? What happened? You- you were so happy the night before.” Osamu frowned, pouting deeply. They had spent the night before together, desperate to have each other the night before.
“I was! That wasn’t a lie.” Rin picked up his engagement ring. “That morning, Tatsuki helped me get ready, we were just talking-” He sighed, fiddling with the ring in his fingers.
“What could you have been talking about that made you change your mind on marrying me? You promised me we would be together, forever. That we would grow old together, and that you would never leave my side. What the fuck happened to that?” Osamu hissed, remembering Rin’s words in his proposal too well.
Rin looked pained. He nodded, squinting, biting his lip.
“I did. And I- I am so sorry, my love, for putting you through this.” Rin whispered.
“Don’t call me that.” Osamu looked away. “What happened then?”
Rin sighed loudly, scratching his arm. A nervous tick.
“Tatsuki was talking about feelings , and doing things, before you regret them forever.” Rin said slowly.
Osamu’s stomach turned.
He walked away from Rin, covering his face with his hands.
“Tell me you didn’t.” He looked back at Rin, feeling absolutely horrified.
Rin watched Osamu, following him.
“Samu, please.”
“What did you do, Suna?” Osamu’s back hit the wall, and he stared at Suna in disbelief.
“Tatsuki kissed me.” Rin said quietly, “I didn’t kiss him back!” he added, and walked towards Osamu, crowding him against the wall. He held Osamu in his arms, as Osamu started crying again.
“Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?” Osamu frowned. He felt so confused, and Rin held him so close, sneaking his hands around his waist, his chest, his back. “R-rin, why did you leave me?”
“I felt so fucking guilty, Samu.” Rin whispered, shaking his head. He pressed their faces close together, and Osamu let him, weak. He moved his face away, avoiding Rin’s lips.
“You blew off our wedding for this guy. Washio. I didn’t know you loved him so much. Loved him more than me.” Osamu spat, trying to push Rin away.
Rin wouldn’t move. “I don’t. I don’t fucking love him. I love you .”
“Are you trying to convince me? Or yourself?” Osamu hissed, grabbing Rin’s shoulders and pushing him back. “If you’re not leaving me for him, if you don’t love him behind my back- then why did you run away? Why did you leave your ring? Why- why- why-” Osamu was yelling now, gesturing angrily at Rin’s ring on his finger.
“I panicked.” Rin admitted finally.
“You panicked.” Osamu swallowed heavily. Laughter bubbled out of his throat. “I can’t fucking believe you, Suna.”
“Samu. I wasn’t thinking, I was panicking!” Rin fell on his knees, peering up at Osamu.
“For the whole week? You knew where I was staying.” Osamu hissed, “I begged you for a week to call me. You made me come here, and for what? You broke up with me for what?”
Rin shook his head, “I know I fucked up. Baby, I am so sorry. I hurt you, so much, I love you so much.”
Osamu shook his head, closing his eyes. “What are you going to do now? You’re not running off with Washio, you don’t love me- just going to go back to playing Volleyball with him?”
“N-no, I love you .” Rin got back on his feet, pulling Osamu close with his hips. “Please. I know this is a lot to ask, but please give me a chance to make it right.”
Osamu glared up at him. “What could you possibly do to make this right? You left me behind like I was nothing. Like I meant nothing. You didn’t try to talk to me, didn’t try anything.”
“I know.” Rin nodded, and squeezed Osamu’s hips, nuzzling their faces together. “I don’t know how, but I love you, and I want to spend my life with you.”
Osamu pulled away, breathing shakily.
“I- I don’t know if I can trust you on that. This week was absolute hell for me, Rin. Without you- I didn’t even know what was happening. You didn’t try to call me, to explain. If I hadn’t come by today, would you have even tried?” Osamu covered his chest with his arms, frowning deeply.
Rin nodded, “I am a coward. I was too scared, too embarrassed by my mistake to make it right.”
“I-I can’t do this with you right now.” Osamu shook his head, stepping around Rin to walk towards the front door. “I don’t know when, but we’ll talk about this soon.”
“Samu, please. Can I do one last thing before you go?” Rin followed Osamu to the door.
Osamu looked at Rin with hesitant eyes but nodded.
Rin took Osamu into his arms for the third time, and pressed their lips together. He kissed him, deeply, holding him close. Cradling the back of his head, Rin pressed Osamu against the door, and opened Osamu’s mouth with his tongue.
Osamu let out an embarrassing moan, panting heavily into the kiss.
Rin pulled away finally, pressing kisses over Osamu’s cheek, down to his jaw, and down to his neck.
He whispered against his skin, “I made a huge mistake. But I will make it up to you, Osamu Miya. You are mine, and I am yours.”
Osamu shivered at that, melting in Rin’s arms.
Rin finally pulled away, and let go of Osamu, staring at him with wide eyes.
“Do you still love me?” Rin asked softly.
Osamu bit his lip, looking away. “I do. I don’t want to. But ye, I fuckin love ye.”
“I’m gonna call you tomorrow, Osamu. I promise.” Rin let Osamu go, and let him open the door.
Osamu swallowed, but nodded. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He said, then left before anything else could happen.
He all but ran down the hallway, to the lift, out of the lift, and onto the street where Atsumu was still parked.
Osamu got into the passenger seat, breathing in deeply, then inhaling deeply.
“So? What happened?” Atsumu looked at him expectantly.
“He’s such a fucking idiot.” Osamu sighed, leaning back in his seat. “And I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.”
“Am I still killing him?” Atsumu didn’t look away.
“No. I might, but you’re not allowed to.” Osamu shook his head. “Can we go now?”
“Yeah, we can go.” Atsumu drove them home, giving his younger brother many stares in between.
“You’re seriously not going to tell me what happened up there?” Atsumu finally burst out loud once they’d parked in front of their home.
“No. Not yet.” Osamu got out of the car, ignoring Atsumu’s shout.
“Did he at least tell you why?” Atsumu clambered out of the car as well.
“Yes, he did.”
“Was it a good reason?” Atsumu caught up with Osamu, walking with him.
“No. It’s a fucking dumb reason.” Osamu grit his teeth together. “Such a stupid reason, I don’t know if I can get over it.”
“Tell me!”
“No!”
“You need to tell me, I’ll help you decide whether it’s a stupid enough reason-”
“No, fuck off-”
Kiyoomi opened the door to them bickering, glaring at both of them. They kicked their shoes off, glaring at each other.
“How did it go?” He asked, stepping aside to let them in.
Osamu sighed loudly, “I don’t know how to feel about it yet. Just let me think for the night. He’s such an idiot.” He huffed, but turned his back before the others could respond, walking off to the guest room.
Laying in bed, still in his street clothes, he stared at the ceiling with narrowed eyes.
His phone beeped.
Then his phone beeped again.
Rin <3
8:57 pm
Thank you for being the one to reach out, for taking the first step.
Rin <3
8:57 pm
I love you so much, please don’t give up on me. We can make it through this, I promise.