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“What if this is Nino?” Adrien gestures around wildly, “What if this is all l get? My one true love and it's already over?”
“Come on man, you don't really believe that right?”
“What? That I only have one true love and she just rejected me? Yes, yes I do.”
“Dude, seriously? You realized that one true love stuff is all made up right? That's not what actually happens in the real world.” Nino sighs and walks over to the bench nearby. He pats the seat next to him. “Adrien, I know you didnt get out much but you have to believe me when I say that a high school rejection is not the end of the world.”
Realistically Adrien knew he was right, and that all he knew was that love was hard. His crush on Marinette came so easily, he believed it was meant to be. He wanted to believe Nino but that stupid little voice in his head said it was because he wasn’t meant to love. It wouldn’t allow him to dismiss his reaction as overreacting or naiveness.
He sat down keeping his eyes on the ground, “It just came so easily, my crush,”
“I know first crushes are like that, hell most crushes are like that,” Nino placed a hand on his shoulder, “But luckily they tend to leave as fast as they come.”
Adrien could tell Nino was reflecting on his brief crush on Marinette by the distant look in his eyes. He was at a loss, this was both his first crush and rejection. Pretending it was the end of the world was easier than figuring out what to do next. His father would never approve of any relationship he pursued, hell he barely tolerated the friendships he already had. If he remained hung up on Marinette he could avoid another crush. He could avoid the moment when he has to decide whether or not a girlfriend was worth going against his father. It was certainly easier than admitting that he really was hurt by Marinette’s rejection.
The next day was torture. His crush was so obvious the whole class knew, with means the whole class knew what had happened. As he walked into the school courtyard he overheard the girls of his class talking in hushed voices.
“So wait, why did you say no Marinette?” Rose’s voice was barely quiet enough to be considered a whisper.
“Shh. He's over there!”
By the time he took his seat in class he could feel everyone's eyes on him. They watched him as they walked through the door and to their seats. Eyes showing a mix of pity and concern. He was grateful his classmates were so worried. But their constant stares and whispers when they thought he wasn't listening wasn't helping his ever growing embarrassment.
Alix’s voice raises as she leans towards Mylene, “I don't get it. Why did Marinette say no?”
That was the million dollar question. According to just about every person in the class Marinette had a crush on him so big she couldn't even talk to him. They had assured Adrien of that before he confessed. That was most of the reason he confessed in the first place. It was reassuring to know that his first confession was basically guaranteed to go smoothly. Expect it didn't. She looked at him, said “I'm sorry I can't,” and left.
“I have no idea, I thought she had a huge crush on him,”
He could barely remember the rest of the day by the time it was over. He had been on autopilot since the first bell. He let his body carry him to the lockers. Quietly he gathered his fencing gear and prepared for practice.
“Hey,” a gentle voice broke him from his daze, “Adrien can I talk to you?”
“Sure.”
As he followed Marinette his eyes never left his shoes. She leads him to the sidewalk just far enough from the school to not be heard.
“So, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry,” He finally looks up to see her looking at him with worry.
“Marinette, you don't have to apologize for not returning my feelings,” his eyes fell to his shoes again, “I get it, it's ok.”
She sighs, “That's not what I mean, I'm sorry that everyone knows what happened. It's only made things more awkward.”
Instead of mentioning how it's technically his fault everyone knows. He's the one who asked everyone one in class for opinions. He just assures her he's fine and watches her back as she walks towards a concerned looking Alya. Turning around he begins to walk. No destination in mind, just the knowledge that as long as he's back before the end of fencing practice no one will notice.
Somehow he ends up at the Seine walking along the edge. Watching the water, mind wandering anywhere but the embarrassment he's felt all day. Distant giggles disturb the thought he's already forgotten. He looks farther up the river to see Marinette sitting on the deck of the Liberty with Luka. Luka is quietly picking a tune while looking at Marinette like she hung the stars in the sky. While her eyes are shut as she tries not to fall over with laughter.
It's not fair. Why does she get to have fun while he feels like shit. He didn't have any more control over who he had a crush on than she did over who she didn't have a crush on. He thought after their conversation earlier that this had been just as hard on her as it had been on him. Clearly he was wrong. Everyone looked at him like a kicked puppy while she gotta go forget everything that happened and flirt with someone else? What the hell. He knew it was just his embarrassment and hurt talking but he couldn't stop his feet as they marched him to the boat.
“So this is why you rejected me even though everyone I talked to said you would say yes?” He was practically shouting to make sure they heard him from shore, “Because you like Luka?”
Marinette’s mouth hung open in shock as she stood up, “What? My answer had nothing to do with Luka!”
“Why did you lie and say you couldn't? Why didn't you just tell me you liked me but you just liked someone more? It would have saved me a lot of time from beating myself up over what I did wrong.”
“I told you my answer had nothing to do with Luka,” her eyes never left his as she climbed on to shore.
“Then why, Marinette? Why did you say no? I told myself I didn't want to know but I do, so why?”
She took a deep breath,“Adrien I promise you that it had nothing to do with anyone or anything except my own feelings.” Her tone was patient and calm, classic Marinette always doing the right thing. Too nice to get mad even when he picked a fight.
“That's not an answer,” he was well aware his voice was almost at a shout. Not wanting to stop until he found out the answer he didn't bother to care. He didn't care if all of Paris knew he just needed an answer.
“Adrien-”
“Don't bother unless your willing to actually tell me the truth for once,”
Her shocked and worried expression faded away to an anger he had only Chole could bring out. Inside he wanted to stop, he hated hurting her. In the end his anger won out and he didn't stop pushing.
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Marinette shouted, “Fine! I said no because I put you on a pedestal!”
What did she mean by that? “What-”
“I saw you as a celebrity, I had a crush on the image of you I saw on the billboards. I didn't think it was fair to either of us if I said yes.”
No, no she doesn't get to be the martyr. She doesn't get to be the good guy, the one who sacrificed so he could be happy. She rejected him, he got crushed. And yet Marinette is the one who leaves looking like a saint. Their classmates will no doubt praise her for her bravery when they find out. Before he knows it, Adrein is running. Ignoring the shouts of his name growing distant, he ducks into the nearest ally.
“Plagg, claws out.”