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The first time she ever lies to Frank she tells herself it's for the best.
She's been going on about her escapades with Donna in university when suddenly she sees him staring at her and stops herself midsentence, aware that she's been talking a mile a minute, and talking for far too long.
"I'm sorry, I'll stop." Sadie's quite sure she's blushing, and not in the vaguely attractive way.
She can see a frown forming on Frank's face before she looks down at her hands. "Why, Sadie, whatever for?"
"I know I have a rather irritating habit of babbling on, and nobody wants to hear all that--" She's dimly aware that she's been wringing her hands, something she always does when she's feeling self-conscious (which has been happening less and less frequently since meeting Frank not so long ago).
Frank cuts her off before she can make any more apologies, taking both of her hands in his. "Love, I don't find it irritating at all--I rather enjoy watching and listening to you talk, as a matter of fact. Who told you it was irritating?"
Sadie gives Frank's hands a squeeze, finally looking back up at him. "I don't entirely remember. Probably one of my teachers from boarding school."
That, she only realizes later, is the first lie she ever tells him. She knows full well who tried to convince her to hold her tongue, but she doesn't want Frank to think ill of her mother before they've even met. Introducing him to her parents will be difficult enough without that.
"Pah, teachers. They're wrong about an alarmingly large amount of things. Don't believe them for a minute, Sadistic. I'd love to hear absolutely anything you have to say."
She kisses him, then, even more grateful that he's with her than she was before. She suspects she'll feel that way more and more with every day. "Thank you, Frankenstein."
The second time she lies to Frank it slips out all too easily, because it's something she's been saying for years, though she knows it's not the whole truth.
"Believe me, Frank, I really don't care what my parents think. I'm marrying you whether they like it or not." She smiles as she says it, her hands clasping his.
It's not entirely a lie. She's going to marry this man come hell or high water. But oh, she wishes her mother and father would get past their upper-class sensibilities for once and just be happy for her that she's found true love at last.
She doesn't need their approval--if pressed, she'd choose Frank over her parents in a heartbeat--but she wants it all the same. She wishes she didn't, and so she keeps telling herself and the world around her that she doesn't (it never quite works, but Frank believes it, and that helps her believe it too).
The third time she lies to him, she's not at all aware that it even is a lie until after she says it.
He turns to her after they've finished banishing a particularly determined poltergeist from the hotel they're staying in (they'd thought it would be a peaceful, uneventful honeymoon, but they're quickly learning that quiet moments are always cut short in their 'profession') and he says to her, "You know, Sadie-love, it never ceases to amaze me how unflappable you are in a crisis, particularly those of a supernatural nature."
She smiles winningly at him (later she will look back and realize that she always smiles when she tells lies to protect, and she will wonder if Frank noticed and never told her) and tells him "Frank, darling, you should know by now that Sadie Parker Knickerhouse Doyle is not afraid of anything. Except bees, of course."
And she believes this lie, too, until he grins at her in that adorably lopsided way, agrees without a trace of irony that "quite right, love, bees are not to be trifled with, but neither are you" and leans in for a kiss. Then she realizes that she could face all the bees in the world and come out all right, as long as Frank is there to hold her hand. It's the thought of losing him that truly terrifies her.
After it happens, she's deeply shaken. No, shaken is not the right word for it, not by a long shot, but she's at a loss for words. How does one sum up into a single word a terror that chills and strikes the very core of your being, that makes you feel as though the entire world has fallen away and you're lost in a void?
Fortunately Sadie manages to compose herself before Frank emerges from the liquor cabinet, but it's a little too late. He's already heard how her voice trembled when she called out to him, deeply afraid that he would still be missing despite Bobo's wish having been undone.
"Everything all right, love?" His brow is creased with concern, and he brushes a kiss her temple as he passes her by, heading to the kitchen to pour her a glass of something strong (he always seems to know just how to soothe her, and she always silently marvels at that). Hesitantly, she follows him, a part of her still worrying that this is only a dream, and that she'll wake up in that horribly wrong world where Frank doesn't exist. She knows that where she dreamed about this life, she'll now have nightmares of the other.
Her smile this time is softer, tinged with something akin to sadness, but Frank has his back to her, focused on the glasses he's set on the kitchen counter, and thankfully doesn't see. Almost of their own accord, her arms reach out to wrap around him, and she rests her chin on his shoulder. "Everything's fine, dearest." She half-whispers, still smiling.
She's reluctant to let go of him when he twists around to hand her a glass, but by the gods, she needs a drink just as badly as she needs the reassurance that Frank is here, safe and sound. He smiles at her over the rim of his own glass before downing the contents, and after taking a moment to imprint the image in her mind, she follows suit (over the next few days, she will take many more of these moments to absorb the fact that yes, he is right there, she will not let him disappear ever again).
He asks her that damned question a few more times during the course of the day, but Sadie's certain she's kept him off the scent. She'll tell him eventually, she promises herself. She's just not ready to talk about it yet. She's not sure when she will be ready.
Sadie normally falls asleep quickly (enough liquor will have that effect, after all), but tonight, she remains awake after the lights are turned off and Frank's breathing has evened out. He's a heavy sleeper, so he doesn't stir when she snuggles in close, her head on his chest so that she can hear his heartbeat and let the security of that sound lull her to sleep (for a while, it will be impossible for her to fall asleep any other way, if only because without that sound she worries that he'll be gone in the morning).
The next morning, he asks her again, and this time she can honestly say that everything is fine, because now she's a little more sure that he's here to stay.
When she does finally tell him about what happened with Bobo and the genie wish, his reaction isn't quite what she expected. Though, to be honest, she hadn't been sure exactly what to expect. She had hoped, however, that it wouldn't be met with his typical petty jealousy (normally adorable, but not in this case--it is not something he ought to be jealous of, not this, please, Frank, but she doesn't know how to explain that to him right now).
And then Basil comes through the door, and Sadie is stunned. For a moment, she can't breathe, caught in a panic of oh god no it can't be happening again and Basil why did you have to come back now this is not the time I don't know how to diffuse this situation.
She gets over it quickly enough, thankfully, and despite still feeling like her stomach's twisted itself into a knot everything goes relatively smoothly with Basil and his daughter (she's still not sure how to feel about him having a child) until the demons possessing them both get a bit too out of hand. Frank, ever brave and dashing, is willing to summon the mother demon despite knowing it would tear him apart, but he can't, she won't let him, because he still doesn't understand--so she steps in.
He might have been bluffing, but she certainly isn't. To keep him safe, she'd do anything. She'd much rather go to her death knowing that Frank would survive than go back to living in a world without him.
Fortunately, it doesn't come to that, though it does come unnervingly close. Basil and Kimberly are shooed out the door after a few awkward moments, and Frank and Sadie are left alone once more. She immediately heads to the kitchen bar to pour them both drinks, as she's still on edge. Their reconciliation and subsequent promise to stay together (one they've made to each other several times over, but it holds more significance to Sadie now) can't quite assuage her fears, not while she's still thinking about how close everything came to ending.
"Again, Sadistic, I apologize..." Frank's fumbling for words, and frankly, so is she.
"I... Oh, there's nothing to apologize for, Frankenstein." She shoots a smile over her shoulder as she grabs a bottle of whiskey from the nearest cabinet. This is true--she can't blame him for reacting that way. He couldn't understand how she feels about her time in that other world, and she doesn't want him to.
"Are you sure?" He presses. "Pardon me for saying so, but you still seem a bit unhappy..."
She presses her lips together firmly, glad she has her back to him so that he can't see her hands still shaking slightly, betraying the lie when she tells him "It's fine, darling, really. I just need a drink, that's all."
Sadie's still not sure how she manages to keep it together after Wade's wishes are reversed. Perhaps she's simply in a daze after the jarring sensation of returning to the world as it should be, just operating on automatic pilot.
A few moments after both the werewolf and Wade have left and she's made some vaguely caustic comment with which Frank has of course agreed, she lets out a breath she hadn't quite known she'd been holding. Frank's arm wraps around her shoulders, and the barrier that's been keeping back the panic at the thought that she nearly lost Frank again starts to break.
"You're trembling, Sadie-love." He murmurs, pulling her closer into a tight hug she gladly accepts. It feels like her legs are close to giving out, and she might easily fall if she doesn't lean on him for support.
The certain knowledge that Frank is her anchor, her center, has always been in the back of her mind since she first took his hand. She's sure she's made that known in a hundred thousand little ways, but she's never outright told him just how much he means to her. How frightened she'd been each time she'd nearly lost him, how much the possibility that she might lose him again truly scared her.
So finally, the words--and, eventually, the tears--pour out as she buries her face in the crook of his shoulder. Frank holds her close for all of it, rubbing soothing circles on her back with one hand and intermittently kissing her lightly on the ear, the temple, wherever he can reach. Once she's simply unable to say any more, she pulls back slightly and sees the damp spot she's left on the collar of his coat.
"Oh, darling, I'm so sorry, I've ruined your suit..." She gasps, but he tilts her chin so that she's looking in his eyes instead of the mark on his coat.
"I don't mind." He smiles, and kisses away the tears still trailing slowly down her cheeks. "I'm here for you, love. Through thick and thin. We've always found our way back to each other, no matter what might be separating us, and we always will. I know that. And even when we're apart, I'm with you in spirit."
And just like that, as always, Frank's made everything better, brightened her mood almost to her usual effervescence. Then he continues, and things brighten even further. "Speaking of spirits, my sweet, I believe we're both in need of a refill. Shall I?"
She grins at him and nods, feeling as though a weight has been lifted from her chest--a weight that had settled after the incident with Bobo and the genie, one she hadn't even fully realized was still there.
As she moves to sit on the chaise--she's still feeling a little shaky, and doesn't trust herself to remain upright much longer--she's suddenly aware that this is the first time in a long while she's felt content to turn her back to Frank, starting to feel secure once more in her knowledge that when she turns around again, he'll still be there, loving her.