Archive of Our Own

The SS Tsiolkovsky was absolutely haunting. Riker had never seen anything like it. Derelict, full of corpses and void of life signs, but perfectly healthy as far as engineering was concerned. That was, they’d taken no hits from a phaser, no problems with the warp engine or the life support. No traces of disease either - the tricorder would pick that up. The only thing that there was any evidence of was a wild party. Clothes all over the floor, discarded food and shattered glass, furniture thrown around the rooms. Other than that, nothing. Proceeding with nervous caution, he stepped further into the ship. In a low voice, he said, “Geordi, Worf, see if you can find any survivors. Data, with me.” 

As the other two took off, he and Data approached a computer terminal, Data immediately beginning to boot it up and investigate, his hands moving faster than Riker could see. 

“Any recent medical logs? Something that might help explain… whatever this is?” asked Riker. 

Data shook his head. “None, sir. In fact, it seems there are several high ranking officers who failed to complete their logs for approximately the past two weeks.”

He shook his head, leaning against the wall as he stared at the computer terminal. “I don’t understand it. What would make a whole ship just… open up the airlocks and kill each other?”

“Unknown, sir. I have heard of certain instances of human behavior being drastically altered in the confines as a group - known as ‘mass hysteria’. Could this be the cause of their unusual actions?”

“I find it hard to believe that mere ‘mass hysteria’ could do something like this,” admitted Riker, with a sneer behind him at the filthy halls. 

A voice spoke up from his combadge: Worf’s. “ Worf to Commander Riker. ”

“Riker here.”

“ We’ve found something sir. A large group of corpses, cause of death unknown. Though, it seems as though they… froze to death. ”

Riker creased his eyebrows. “Froze to death? For what reason?”

“ The temperature controls have been tampered with. According to Commander LaForge, there was no damage to life support systems. It had to have been intentional.”

Riker considered this for a moment, before shaking his head and saying, “Understood. See what you can find, then meet back up where we started.”

“Aye sir.” Worf tapped his combadge, looking uneasily over the frozen wasteland of corpses. They seemed to have just laid down and died, many of them naked, most of them on top of one another. Death like animals. Sick animals, that was. A little ways away from him, Geordi was shivering, looking through the bodies with a similar unease. “It does not make sense…” muttered Worf. 

“I’d say that’s an understatement, Lieutenant. Who freezes their own crew to death on purpose?” Geordi answered. 

Worf looked up. “No. Not the perpetrator. Them.” He nodded to the bodies. “It is not my experience that humans ever die willingly. To see so many of them just… resigned to their fate... It is… unsettling.”

“Yeah, you can say that again…” Geordi winced, then turned to face a twitching shower door - something caught in the machinery, he thought. Without much work, he forced it open, and the moment he did so he found something heavy and cold falling against him. With horror, he quickly found that, hidden behind the frost, was a body, a human body. A chill running down his spine, he laid it on the ground, then took a step away from it. A woman, he saw, with ice in her hair, forming crystals along her eyelashes. He cast Worf a disgusted look, then suggested intently, “Let’s get out of here.”

The voyage to the derelict ship yielded little more information, excluding, of course, the disturbing fact that of the crew of 80 people there were no survivors at all. Even with no traces of disease picked up, Dr. Crusher saw fit to examine each of the members of the away team one by one, just to be careful. Riker and Worf had promptly returned to the bridge once dismissed, leaving Data on the table, and Geordi awaiting his turn. Crusher ran her tricorder along the length of Data’s body, carefully reading the android’s electronic signals. Then, she smiled, and put it aside. “Well, Data, if you were any healthier, I’d put you in a Starfleet electro-medical textbook.”

Data sat up. “I am already referenced in several electro-medical textbooks, Doctor.”

She smiled warmly. “Yes, I suppose you are. Anyway, you’re free to go, Data.”

He nodded, and then stood up, and headed for the door. The Doctor adjusted her tricorder for human medical signs once again as Geordi laid down on the table. “Alright, one moment…” she whispered, and scanned him in silence. Then, she flashed a similar smile towards him. “Nope, nothing wrong with you, either! Although…” Looking at his face, shimmering with sweat, she creased her eyebrows, tilting her head. “Are you feeling warm, Commander?”

“Yeah, you could say that. Not like it’s a million degrees in here or anything,” he snapped. She reeled at the vitriol in his voice. 

“I’m sorry, Commander?”

“What, you didn’t notice it’s a sauna in here, Doctor?” He propped himself up on his elbows, looking exasperated, “Forget it, I’ll just head back to engineering-”

She stopped his movement by gently placing a hand on his chest. “Actually, I… think I’d like to run another few tests on you, if you don’t mind,” she said, polite but insistent. He sighed, laying back down. Despite his eyes being hidden, it was fairly clear he was rolling them. 

Dr. Crusher looked carefully at her medical tricorder. No signs of anything strange, certainly no fever. Offhand, she could think of nothing that wouldn’t show up on a tricorder that resulted in both irritability and sweating, so she believed, for the moment, that the Commander was just in a foul mood. An epidermal molecular sampler would probably benefit her best now. “You wait one moment,” she instructed him, and turned the corner into her office, rummaging briefly through a drawer. She knew she had one of her own in there somewhere, one she’d already tuned, as opposed to the standard ones used by her nurses. In the lowest drawer, she found it. 

Back on the table, Geordi sat up. A newfound annoyance had washed over him, annoyance with being here, with the whole damn ship. Roughly, he tore off his communicator and left it on the bed, standing up and walking promptly to the door. 

By the time the Doctor got back with the sampler he was gone, his communicator left behind. Geordi, leaving his contact with his Captain behind? Now that, she concluded, certainly wasn’t just a foul mood. Concerned, she rushed to the door, and looked down the halls. “Geordi!” she called. No answer. With a sigh, she tapped her combadge. “Captain, Commander LaForge left sickbay without his communicator. I’m not sure what’s the matter with him, Captain, but he’s not acting like himself.” 

“Understood.” Captain Picard pointed to Worf, behind him on the Bridge. “Arrange a security detail to find him.”

“With your permission, Captain, I’ll join them,” offered Riker.

“Granted. Go ahead.” With his clearance, Worf and Riker both headed in a rush for the Turbolift. 

Conveniently, it was Riker who found him. He thought he might be able to. He wasn’t Geordi’s closest friend (that role belonged squarely to Data) but they had always gotten along very well. He happened to know the conference room he liked to sit in when there was a particularly difficult problem he had to unpack - said that, because it was the room furthest from a heating unit on the ship, the cold made it ‘easy on the eyes’. He supposed he’d never considered those repercussions of a thermally based visor before, but there it was. Breaking away from Worf, he headed straight there, knowing it would be empty this time of day. Sure enough, he found him, staring out at the stars. He filled with relief. “Commander Laforge!” he said, stepping a little closer to the sleek brown table, to the long, curved windows. Geordi spun around.

“Commander LaForge,” Riker addressed firmly, “We’ve been looking for you, are you alright?” Before he answered, he tapped his communicator, and under his breath said, “I’ve got him, Captain,” then flicked it off. 

Geordi didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he sneered, and scoffed, turning back to the window. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

“I’m… sorry?” asked Riker, perplexed, “Geordi, is there… something on your mind?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the way you’ve been pumping yourself up since the second you got on this ship?” he asked sharply, turning to face him, “You just think you’re such hot stuff, don’t you? Commander. Well, I’ve got bad news for you. You are not.” As he said this he sauntered over to him, shoving his chest. Riker was far too confused to retaliate. 

“Hot stuff…? Geordi, you’re not acting like yourself. I think we’d better get you back to sickbay.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? It’s not enough to act like you’re better than me, you have to harass me too? Well, you can make as many jibes about the ‘blind man flying the ship’ as you like, but I’m still twice as competent as you ever were!” He prodded his chest with a finger again, and then made his way towards the door. He paused as he stepped out, and said, “Computer, lock conference room four door on my authority, access code 31426.” There was a beep, and a quick sliding of the door, trapping Riker inside. “Think about it, pretty boy!” he shouted through the door as he hurried through the hall.

Banging his hand against the door in frustration, Riker called, “Geordi!” He heard no answer. “Computer, unlock this door, on the authority of Will Riker!”

“Door cannot be unlocked without proper clearance.”

Shaking his head, he tapped his combadge. “Riker to Captain Picard. I’m gonna need some help here.”

“What’s happened, number one?” asked the Captain

“I found LaForge in conference room four. The second I did he… he called me ‘pretty boy’, then took off and locked the door. I don’t have clearance to unlock it, I’m guessing you might.”

“ ... I see. I’ll send a security detail. Hang tight, number one. ”

Meanwhile, in the hall, Geordi wiped his hand on the leg of his uniform, about as irritated by the sweat as he was by everything else. What sort of nosy ship made you go to sickbay for nothing? Was it so much to ask to have some time where people left him alone to get some actual work done for a change? As he grumbled to himself he made his way to a panel in the hall, one he knew well led to a venting conduit. “Damn ship… can’t get a moment’s peace…” he muttered, as he unattached the panel and exposed the corridor behind it, just barely big enough for him to crawl through. He pulled himself inside, and then closed it back up behind him. 

Accompanied by Worf, the Captain himself approached the conference room, now thoroughly annoyed. “Computer, open this door, on the authority of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, using override access code Alpha-Sigma-Nine.”

At that, the door slid open with no hesitation, revealing a similarly irritable Riker. “Thank you, Captain,” he sighed. “Did you find LaForge?”

Immediately, they started walking, heading back for the bridge. They stepped into a Turbolift, and the door slid closed. “Nothing yet. He knows the ship like the back of his hand, he could be anywhere. Bridge.” The Turbolift began whirring as they shot up through the ship. Riker wiped the sweat off his hands. 

“Yeah, well, I just hope whatever this is stays contained. I thought Dr. Crusher said she didn’t find any foreign pathogens when we came aboard?”

“She didn’t. Geordi was perfectly normal.”

Riker raised his eyebrows. “He certainly wasn’t acting like it.”

The door of the Turbolift slid open, and with haste in their step all three of them returned to their positions, Worf above and behind Riker and Picard, who took up their respective seats. The moment they entered, Data stepped back from where he stood, and addressed the Captain. “Captain. Engineering has informed me that the warp engines are temporarily disabled. It seems the large quantities of hydrogen gas emitted by the nearby unstable star have severely limited the functions of the warp drive, caused by a random malfunction in the venting system.”

Captain Picard creased his eyebrows. “Are we in any danger of radiation from the nearby star?”

“We would need to remain in close proximity for approximately three hours and thirty-six minutes for this to have significant effects on our systems. As engineering believes it should be able to address the problem within one to two hours, it should not be a problem,” he explained. 

“Excellent, Mr. Data. You are dismissed.” He nodded, and returned to his post. The Captain stood, linking his hands behind his back. “Well. I guess we’ll be waiting around for a while. Hopefully this will give us ample time to find our chief engineer… who seems to have gone rogue.”

From his seat, Riker stifled a laugh, his hand raising up to cover his mouth. Picard turned to him, confused, as did Troi a moment later. The Captain leaned back and asked, “Something funny, number one?”

He waved his hand. “No, nothing Captain. Just… remembering an inside joke from earlier.”

“Ah. … I see.” He glanced at Troi. Troi watched him carefully, picking up… something from him. A little more loose then usual, she read, much more easily amused. If she didn’t know better she’d have said he was… drunk? “Commander Data,” the Captain ordered, “Continue attempting to scan the Tsiolkovsky. We’ve got a little while to wait, might as well go through the deep scans, get all the information we can get. Commander Worf, you’re not needed here at the moment, why don’t you see if you can’t track down Commander LaForge?”

“Aye, sir.”

Breaking out of the professional silence came another unstoppable giggle from Will Riker, barely stifled at all this time. He had one leg up on his chair, his eyes looking somewhat lost. There was a giddy look on his face. Troi leaned in to try and get a better read on him. Couldn’t have been… Will Riker may have enjoyed fun off the job, but while working he was a strict disciplinarian. He’d never drink real alcohol at work - where would he even get it? “Will, are you feeling alright?” Troi asked. 

“Yeah, of course, of course, I’m sorry. I was just thinking… Did he really call me ‘pretty boy’?” he laughed about it to himself, like it was much funnier than it was, like other people were laughing. “I mean, he locked me in a conference room, called me ‘pretty boy’, and then took off. It’s just…” He could get out no further words, doubling over in laughter. The Captain stared at him, perplexed. He looked at Troi, who shrugged helplessly back at him.

“Number one, you are not behaving like yourself. You didn’t seem to find this so funny a moment ago.”

He nodded, cleared his throat. “Sorry. Captain. Oh! Since we’re stuck here, does anyone want to go down to Ten Forward with me?” He turned around in his chair, to face the rest of them. “Worf?” He didn’t answer, instead casting a worried look to the Captain. Riker turned to Data, now twisting his back in his chair. “Data?” Data looked almost as confused.

“I think, perhaps, you should head to sickbay, Commander,” the Captain said softly. 

“Sickbay? Captain, I feel fine!” He stood up from his chair, pointing knowingly at the Captain, “Oh, I get it, Captain. You’re upset I didn’t invite you. Well, you can come! I just thought, you know… You’re not usually into that sort of thing. Deanna too, of course, Ensign, uh…” He pointed at the young, concerned looking navigator, snapping several times in an attempt to remember his name. Then, grinning wider, he pointed again. “Ensign DelMastro! You can come too. And your… buddy there.” He gestured vaguely to the other ensign. “It’ll be great, Captain! We’ll have a party!”

Troi smiled, then stood up. “That sounds fantastic, Will,” she said, patting his arm sweetly. “Why don’t I take you?” She nodded subtly to the Captain, who nodded back in thanks. 

Riker stumbled forward, bumbling, before he paused, swayed before her. He grinned. A very lovable grin, if misplaced. “I would never mind taking a walk with you, Deanna,” he said, looking her up and down.

“Okay. That’s good!” she answered sweetly, and took his arm, taking him to the turbolift. The door shut closed behind them. Riker smiled lovingly as Troi ordered it to go to sickbay. “Deanna, where did we wrong?” Riker sighed. 

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

“I mean us,” he said. Confidently, he stepped forward, and took both her hands. “You’re always… so professional, so determined to keep your mind on your job. Can’t you feel it in me? Every time I look at you, the… desire I can barely keep under reps? Doesn’t it drive you mad?”

Troi paused, watching him warily. Then, she smiled politely, and withdrew her hands. She did, of course, feel it. Will Riker kept himself under control well - it was the job of a first officer to do such a thing. And yet, he was one of the more emotional people on the ship. Even if he wanted to hide from her, he wouldn’t be able to, not by a mile. He was in love with her. With who she was. They both knew it. And yet, this was not a conversation she had any intention of having now. “I think that now may not be the time to discuss such things, Commander.”

“I disagree. Turbolift, pause.” There was a beep, and everything went deadly quiet. She waited for him to speak before activating it again, feeling pulses from his mind. Love conjoined with lust, in almost even quantities. An absolute fascination with her. Will whispered, “I want to kiss you so badly it’s almost unbearable.”

Troi sighed. She wouldn’t have minded it either. Yet, she kept her voice professional, and at his level. “Will,” she whispered, “You have to listen to me now. I need you to go to sickbay and speak to Dr. Crusher… alright? I promise we will talk about this some other time.”

Will sighed. “Guess we’ll have that party in Ten Forward some other time, then huh?” he asked, disappointed. “Oh, well. Wouldn’t have been that fun without Geordi, anyway. Turbolift, resume.” 

Troi smiled, and patted him on the arm. Then, she winced. Was it hot in here, she thought? She wiped the sweat off the palm of her hand. 

“Crusher to Picard. We’ve received Commander Riker, starting tests on him now. Still no sign as to what the Hell this thing is, but I’ve just seen about twenty new cases. Any sign of Geordi?”

Captain Picard grimaced from the bridge, then tapped his own communicator. “Nothing yet, Doctor. Keep a close eye on Riker, he seemed rather emotionally unstable as well.”
“Aye, Captain.”

Data leaned over from his terminal, speaking hastily to the Captain. On his screen was a historical record - a little work he’d taken to when it was clear there’d be a little idle time. A few key terms quickly found him the results he was looking for. “Captain,” he said coolly, “I believe I may have discovered the problem.”

The Captain urgently joined him at his station, looking over his shoulder at the screen. “Go on, Mr. Data.”

“I believe that there has been a case of these symptoms recorded before on the original Enterprise, under the Command of one James T. Kirk. He reports an area of space near to a planet being destroyed, where the radiation began to affect the crew in strange ways. Essentially it altered certain molecular structures to make some of the water in their bloodstreams affect them similarly to alcohol.”

“Was there a cure?” the Captain asked.

“Yes, sir. Should I send it to Dr. Crusher?”

“Absolutely, Data!” the Captain said enthusiastically, “Excellent work.” He tapped his combadge, then said, “Picard to Crusher. Data seems to have solved your little mystery through a similar case, and is sending down a cure now.”

“Excellent, Captain! Thank him for me, won’t you?”

“Of course, Doctor, Picard out.” He tapped his combadge once again. “I believe you heard her, Mr. Data, and you have my thanks as well.”

Data nodded, looking about as delighted as he got, raising his eyebrows and nodding. “Thank you, sir,” he said brightly, then returned to his work. 

“Wesley Crusher to Picard!” came an urgent young voice. He sounded panicked. The Captain wandered over to his station, responding to the call.

“Picard here, what’s the matter Wesley?”

“Sir! Is everything alright up there?!”

He creased his eyebrows. “Everything’s fine here, Wesley, is everything alright down there?”

“It is… then why…?”

The Captain answered impatiently. “Is something the matter, Mr. Crusher?”

“Yes, sir… Well, it’s just that a second ago, Geordi rushed into engineering saying that we all had to get out of there immediately, sir, that the warp core was gonna blow! We all left him alone in there, sir, but it’s the strangest thing, the computers aren’t saying anything’s wrong!”

The Captain sighed. “I would take that warning with a grain of salt, Ensign. Can you get back in?”

“A few of us have tried, sir, looks like he’s put up a forcefield around the door. I can’t get it down, sir, not from this side, not without access to the source, he keeps changing the frequency, and Geordi won’t answer his comm!”

“Understood. Worf, get to engineering, see if you can get to him with a security detail!” he ordered.

“Aye, sir,” answered Worf with a nod, and he marched back off the bridge. 

Worf marched, an intimidating force through the hall of the Enterprise, two similarly intense security officers at either side. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was Geordi’s doing. He didn’t like to doubt him - he and Geordi didn’t talk much, admittedly, but they had a mutual respect for one another. Personal relationship aside, he’d never known him to be irresponsible - to be anything other than a brilliant and focused engineer. 

On his way to engineering, he walked past sickbay, and found ,hurrying out the doors, a frantic Riker bursting out towards him. Despite his disheveled appearance, with sweat on his face and messy hair, he seemed to be in excellent spirits. Better than excellent. Ecstatic. The second he saw Worf, he swung his arm around him and leaned in close, grinning exuberantly. “Worf! Man, is it good to see you!” 

“Commander. What are you-”

“No, sh-sh-sh, Worf, hear me out. I was thinking. You and me should take a day trip sometime, just us! You know, I have always thought you were such a cool guy, how is it we never hang out one on one?”

“Commander!” From the doors of sickbay came Dr. Crusher, frantically pushing a lock of sweat-filled hair out of her face. She leaned against the doorframe, looking exhausted. “Sorry about that, Commander Worf. Let’s just say he hasn’t been in the mood to stay in bed.”

Worf nodded, casting a quick scowl at Riker over his shoulder. “I understand, Doctor. It’s no problem.” Pulling Riker’s arm off of his own shoulders, he took him by the arm and began to take him back inside. He groaned, dragging his heels.

“Come on, you guys! No one knows how to have any fun around here! You know, Worf, with a couple of drinks, I’ll bet you are a killer with the ladies. We should hit the club sometime!” 

Worf sat him down on one of the beds. “Perhaps… some other time, Commander,” he suggested, exasperated. 

The second he was down Crusher began to scan him again, keeping a hand on his shoulder to secure him. She tapped her combadge. “Crusher to Captain, the serum is not working. This area of space must be different somehow, I’ll have to put together something else.”

There was a sigh, cracking across the comms. “I see. Do your best, Doctor. I’ll have Data keep looking through the historical records. Picard out.”

She nodded, and tapped her combadge. Through a sigh, she said, “Oh, is it hot in here, Commander?”

“No, Doctor,” he answered, “Are you feeling alright?”

Crusher winced, and shook her head. “No, I gather I’ve fallen victim to it myself. I’ll just have to do all I can to keep it together.”

“I see. I… hope you will not take offense if I station a security guard in medbay just to be sure we can… keep track of you. They wouldn’t hinder your movement in any way.”

Suddenly, she snapped. “Do you seriously think you need one of your jamokes to-!” Looking up at Worf she froze, calmed, then wiped the sweat off her forehead and breathed out sharply, “Yes, Commander Worf. That’s probably a good idea.”

He nodded, then nodded to those behind him. “Donahue, stay in sickbay, you stay in engineering,” he said softly. Both the officers behind him nodded, and one of them took off into the hallway, the other finding a secure corner in sickbay.

Riker laughed. “Now it’s a party!” he snorted. Then, he switched to a stage whisper, “Donahue! Did you bring drinks? Snacks, even?”

“You, sir, don’t need anything but a little bedrest and to calm yourself down,” ordered Crusher, patting him on his shoulder a bit too hard to be affectionate. “Keep up this behavior and I’ll have to sedate you, you understand that?”

He grinned, amused. Then he lifted a hand to mime zipping up a zipper across his lips, and threw both his hands in the air, as if to say, ‘I surrender’. Of course, he still looked just as entertained as before. 

“Strange, you mention the heat,” observed Worf. He certainly wasn’t one to complain about cold, but he had noticed a rather unusual chill in the air over the past few minutes.

“Computer. What is the current temperature in sickbay?”

“Current temperature is seven point five degrees below optimal.”

Worf scowled. “Geordi.”

As the Doctor got rapidly wrapped up in her work, the security chief turned, shoulders low with confidence as he headed out of the room. As he walked, he went over in his head just how obnoxious this mission really was. When he joined Starfleet he knew it would be less challenging than Klingon assignments, even as chief of security - but this? He was supposed to protect the ship. And he was running around the ship, trying to catch an engineer who ran off for no reason? Ridiculous!

He stopped in his tracks, in the middle of the hallway. To Hell with this, he thought furiously. With a sneer he ripped off his combadge and threw it on the ground, turning around to find something to do that wasn’t this. After all this pointless nonsense, he deserved to find something actually important to do.

“Captain.” Data turned around from his position on the Bridge. “Radiation is now approaching dangerous levels. T-minus forty two minutes until it reaches critical levels.”

“Any luck reaching Commander LaForge?” asked the Captain.

“No, sir.”

He sighed. Then, with a wince, he stepped forward, wrapping his hands around his arms for a moment. “Commander Data… Perhaps this is a subjective question, but does it feel cold in here to you?”

Data raised his eyebrows. “I am incapable of ‘feeling’ cold, sir. However - the temperature receptors in my skin do tell me that the current ship’s temperature is approximately seven degrees below optimal, sir.”

“Do you know the cause?”

“An adjustment made to the life support systems, sir, possibly by Commander LaForge.”

The Captain sighed, dismayed. He cast a look behind him, noticing how very sparse his bridge had become. This thing, whatever it was, had a hold of more than half of his ship by now, and he was struggling to get anything at all under control. Reports of general foolishness and incompetence were coming in from all over the ship - public nudity, misuse of equipment, improper treatment of a commanding officer. Quite a ship he was running… “Understood, Commander Data, thank you.” Then, he glanced at his voice of reason, Deanna Troi. “What do you think of all this, Counselor?”

“How do you mean, Captain?” she said, and there was a noticeable coldness in her voice.

“I mean, do you notice anything… unusual about the crew, anything standing out to you? Could this be an… emotional phenomenon, as well as medical?”

Troi, one leg crossed over the other, scowled up at the Captain. “Took you long enough to ask me.”

Picard appeared confused for a moment, before deflating where he stood. “Oh, not you too, Counselor.”

But it was far too late. Already he could see the sheen of sweat on her face, in her hair. She stood rigidly up. “You know, every once in a while you could ask me what I think of the situation before it goes horribly wrong! I’m more than just your emotional guru, I am a trained psychologist, and I think I deserve the fitting respect!”

“Counselor, try to look at your behavior objectively, you’re being affected by this… whatever it is! Perhaps you should head to-”

“Let me guess! Sickbay!” she snapped, “Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?! God forbid your feelings buffer has some feelings of her own, ones you don’t find… palatable or… exotic!” She began to match off of the bridge.

The Captain reeled beginning to follow after her. “Exotic?! Counselor, what on Earth-”

“Leave me alone!” She stepped into the Turbolift and commanded it, “Deck eight!” and the door slammed shut in the Captain’s face. She sighed, putting her hands to her temples. It was all so loud. Everyone on the ship talking at once… maybe if they tried to keep track of it for a few minutes they wouldn’t be so quick to ask her to use her abilities for their benefit. As the Turbolift came to a stop, she thought, she needed something peaceful. Someone hollow - perhaps a holodeck program, where she could get a little space. The doors slid open.

She hurried through the hall, coming up to the holodecks. She’d decide on the program once she was inside - now, though, she needed to make sure she could be left alone. “Computer, open doors to Holodeck Four,” she said. Immediately the computer obeyed.

Troi stepped into the Holodeck to see a rich jungle, dim and hot, smothered by a slate grey canopy from the deep green trees covering the entire sky up above. In the middle of the scene was Worf, fiercely wielding his bat’leth. 

Captain Picard sneered as he resumed his position on the Bridge. This was getting out of hand. “Ensign, see if you can’t get us out of this area of space on impulse!” he ordered, anger seeping into his voice, “I can’t lose any more members of my crew to this… intoxication!”

“Aye, sir.”

“Da-taaaa.”

Heads turned to the source of the voice, winding and drunk, to find that it was coming from Data’s combadge. Picard knew that voice immediately - his head engineer. Data glanced at the Captain, then tapped his combadge, and answered it. “Geordi?” he asked. 

“Data, you should come down here,” he went on, a whining quality to his voice, “I want to see you. But - don’t bring anyone, I don’t wanna- I don’t wanna deal with anyone else right now.”

Picard creased his eyebrows, stepping up to him. When Data cast him an inquisitive look, he nodded to go on. “Geordi,” said Data, “If you wish for me to enter, you must take down the forcefield around engineering.”

“Mm… okay… but don’t bring anyone else! Promise?”

He looked to Picard for permission who, after a moment of thought, gave a sharp nod. 

“I promise, Geordi. I will be right down.” He tapped his combadge, then looked back up at the Captain, a sensitivity in his eyes. Gently, he asked, “Will I be forced to break that promise, sir?”

“No, Data. Even in this state, I don’t want to go up against Commander LaForge when the battleground is the technology of this ship. Head down there and see if you can get him to take down the forcefield permanently.”

He stood, nodded, and then left the bridge, leaving the Captain alone with a handful of lower-ranking officers. 

After a startlingly brief handful of minutes, Worf had abandoned his calisthenics program completely, his bat’leth propped up precariously against a tree beside him. He was seated down, leaning enthusiastically forward on a fallen log, listening intently to Commander Troi. Troi, who was pacing back and forth, and had been since she first stepped in. In her hands was a mug of steaming hot chocolate, and on her face was a look of deep frustration. 

“I mean, I try to be taken seriously, and they treat me like I’m a joke! It’s as though I’m just some… dramatic nagger who’s just on this ship to get into other people’s business! It’s not my fault everyone on this ship is too repressed to do their jobs!”

As she buried herself in hot chocolate, Worf responded intently, using pointed gestures for emphasis, pointing into nothing. “I understand you exactly, Counselor. Just the other day, I heard one of my own officers suggest that I was made chief of security only because I was a Klingon! As though I didn’t spend my life going through the proper Starfleet channels!”

“Mm!” She pulled her mug from her lips, then pointed right at him, raising his eyebrows. “ That is disgusting! I can tell you put more effort into acting ‘acceptable’ than any of the actual humans, humans who are usually going off half-cocked anyway!”

“Yes!” he enthused, “Precisely!”

“You know, just today,” Troi rambled on, “Will Riker was telling me he wanted to kiss me!”

“Disgusting,” snarled Worf.

“Right?! I mean, granted, he is very attractive. So maybe I did want to kiss him a little bit, as well, but that’s outside the picture! The point is, I am a working professional! Just because I dare to preserve a little of my Betazoid heritage by not wearing their uniform, suddenly I’m just some… some woman on the Enterprise?!” she rambled.

Worf suddenly sobered, casting her a firm look. “I have much respect in my heart for Starfleet,” he admitted, “But their uniforms look like the sleepwear of children!”

Troi’s eyes went wide, as she pointed excitedly. “You are so right!” she said. She held up a finger to get him to pause, then took another long sip of her hot chocolate. “You know. I have never told you this, but I’ve always thought your sash… thing you wear was very fashionable.”

“Thank you, Counselor. It was an effort to bring some dignity to these… jumpsuits!” He gestured irritably to himself.

“You should just wear the Klingon uniform, that’s much more stylish. You pull it off, too! Those uniforms are so much better, I should get one for myself.” 

Then, Worf stood up excitedly. He snatched his bat’leth up from where it leaned against a tree. “Then, let us earn our uniforms together,” he said, and a rare smile flashed at his lips. Troi put an excited hand to her chest, looking down at the bat’leth like it was an engagement ring.

“ Me?! Fight beside you, Worf?!” she asked eagerly.

“It is clear you have a heart that seeks glory. Just like my own! Which no one on this ship besides us two can understand!” he enthused.

Troi smiled wide. “Right!” She lifted a finger for a moment to finish off her hot chocolate, before setting the mug down on the leafy ground. “Let’s do it!” She clapped her hands together. 

Worf smiled wide, showing off his sharp teeth. “Computer! Program in a second bat’leth and initiate level three!”

Beside Troi appeared a weapon similar to Worf’s and she grabbed it enthusiastically by both its handles. Immediately, the weight of it sent her toppling with a soft whimper backwards into the leaves. 

Echoing through all of main engineering was music. Music playing on the speakers, old, old 20th century blues, something longing and romantic. As the forcefield temporarily came down outside of engineering, Data stepped inside, immediately identifying the music. ‘I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues’, Elton John. He heard, along with the voice of the long-dead, 20th century musician, another voice mumbling alongside him deliriously from the middle of the room. “Time on my hands, should be time spent with you…”

Data followed the sound. Stepping inside, he heard a short ‘vrrp’ as the forcefield went back up behind him. He found, peering pas the table, that Geordi was leaning back on a tipped back chair, his feet up against the console, looking into the dilithium chamber itself, a pillar through the middle of the room which glowed a soft blue. Hearing him, but not turning to face him, Geordi called back, sounding morose, “Hi, Data.”

“Hello, Geordi,” Data answered politely, from right behind him. “If you might allow me to ask. Why have you isolated yourself in engineering and lowered the temperature?”
He sighed, awfully dramatically. “I just wanted to be alone…” he admitted. “Computer, pause music,” he commanded, and the room got much more quiet. Then, he released another sigh, loving this time. “Do you hear that, Data?”

He listened. All he heard was the hum of the engines, a little louder here than it was anywhere else. “If you are referring to the engines, Geordi, then yes, I do.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it? Absolute bliss. You know, when I was in the academy… People used to say the reason I couldn’t make friends was because I was too busy hanging out with computers. But… how could I not? Machines, they’ve got this… simplicity, that people don’t have!” He gestured passionately, his eyebrows creasing. “Data, why would you ever want to be human?”

“It is in my program to try to achieve humanity, if possible. I would be happy to discuss it in further depth later on - however, I must take you to sickbay and attempt to lower the forcefield. If you will excuse me-”

“Data, Data, hold on!” As Data stepped towards one of the engineering consoles, Geordi leapt up out of his seat, coming up to him face to face. “I was thinking,” he went on, “Maybe they were right about me! About computers. A computer. Maybe the people… the person I was meant to be with really was meant to be a machine!” He took Data by the shoulders. 

Data went to speak, before closing his mouth again, a crease forming in his brow as he evaluated his friend. “This is a possibility,” he admitted, “However, you have been adversely affected by this region of space, and the Enterprise is in danger. I must now escort you to sickbay-”

“You’re gorgeous, do you know that?” he sighed. When Data tried to move, he once again tugged on his shoulders to make him face him head on. “I mean, every circuit, every electrical impulse, I see it all, Data, in this… halo around you, you’re just… glowing! Your design, it’s… absolutely divine! I mean, as a computer, as a machine, you’re a work of genius, and on top of it all, as a man…” He smiled wryly, taking a step closer. He needlessly adjusted the flaps of his collar, running his hands down his chest. “You are a man… aren’t you, Data?” he asked breathlessly.

“I do consider myself to be male, Geordi,” Data answered, still looking confused, “Though I fail to see what that has to do with the situation.”

“Well, it’s just us in here, isn’t it? We’ve got the place all to ourselves.” He grinned, then giggled, “I’ve always known you were more than your programming, I know you have wants, needs. The truth is, I’ve loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. So what do you want, Data? Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.” He wrapped his arms around the sturdy android’s shoulders. Data considered all this for a moment, processing. 

“At the moment, I ‘want’-” he began.

“Yes?” 

“... I ‘want’ for you to go to sickbay so that I may secure the safety of the Enterprise. Though I am flattered by your affection.”

Geordi sighed thoughtfully, an amused smile playing at his lips. “I’m… not making myself clear,” he admitted. “Data, I think you and I should…” Then, he leaned in, and whispered a long string of quite profane things in his ear, sounding quite unlike his usual self. Data didn't interrupt, politely listening to each one. He raised his eyebrows, electronic eyes tracing in twitches across the floor as he pictured the scene described. When Geordi was finished, he leaned back.

“Geordi,” Data said, and his voice was almost scolding. “It would be amoral for me to participate in such activities while you are intoxicated. Or, while the Enterprise is in danger.” 

Geordi flashed a deeply disappointed look, sinking down on Data’s shoulders. “Data…” he pleaded.

“You are experiencing the side effects of a region of space which alters human judgment. Inadvertently, you have put the Enterprise in danger, as we are in danger of radiation damage if we cannot get the warp engines online. Furthermore, you are in danger, and as a member of the crew as well as my best friend, I would like to take you to sickbay.”

He sighed, letting his chin hit his chest. He tore himself away from Data and headed to a control panel. With a crackle, the forcefield near the door came down. Data tapped his combadge. “Data to Captain Picard. The forcefield is down, bringing Commander LaForge to sickbay now.”

“Well done, Mr. Data.”

Geordi sighed, touching his shoulder, then leaning into it as he walked, hand sliding onto his back. “Moral, responsible Data,” he sighed, “What would I do without you?”
Data didn’t answer, wrapping a supporting arm behind Geordi’s arm and bringing him promptly towards sickbay. As he stepped out into the hallway, he found, to his surprise, that there wasn’t anyone waiting to rush in and fix the reactor core - in fact, no one entered engineering at all. No security, no science officers. Well, no one attentive, anyway. In fact, the halls were filled with people, but they were focused on somewhat less pressing matters. Making out and getting into fist fights for example. Data grimaced, the priorities in his head shuffling around for a moment. Well, he couldn’t fix the warp engines alone even if he did leave Geordi to his devices, and it would only take him approximately four minutes and sixteen seconds to get there. He could feel Geordi weakening on his arm. Falling asleep or passing out, he wondered? He felt the pulse in his neck against his shoulder - very fast, and very light. Sickbay first. 

As he walked, he tapped his combadge. “Data to Captain Picard.”

There was a pause. Then, after a moment, a slightly exasperated, “Yes, Data?”

“It seems the majority of the crew is indisposed, sir. I am taking Geordi to sickbay now, and he has fallen unconscious. If we do not have the warp core up and running in approximately twelve minutes, the radiation will penetrate the hull. I cannot make such adjustments alone in time, Captain.” 

Captain Picard was not on the bridge, oddly enough, but already in sickbay. He had most certainly fallen victim to the sensation himself, though he hadn’t quite lost it yet. He sat across from Dr. Crusher’s desk, where she had her face buried in her hand. Even like this, she was absolutely stunning. But no. He had to focus. “Understood, Mr. Data,” he said, trying to keep his voice solemn. He leaned down over the doctor’s desk. “Beverly!” he said sharply, and she startled back into focus, clearing her throat and tilting her computer screen towards her.

“Yes, yes, right! Not to worry, Jean-Luc, I’m almost finished with the… you know, whatever.” She waved a hand dismissively.

“No, not whatever, Beverly, certainly not whatever! Didn’t you hear what he said, we have to… do the thing! Oh, now you’ve got me doing it…” he sighed, shaking his head. 

She looked up at him. “You don’t usually call me Beverly, Jean-Luc,” she noticed. 

“Maybe I like calling you Beverly.”

“Maybe I like it too.”

They exchanged a tense moment of eye contact, before the Captain shook the feeling off like water. “The cure, Beverly, the cure!”

“Right! Oh, right, yes, of course, curing a disease! That’s what I do, Doctor Crusher. Dancing Doctor Crusher…” She tapped away at her screen as she thought to herself. Then, she groaned, turning suddenly. “Have you ever seen me dance, Jean-Luc?”

“Can’t say that I have. But don’t - ask me to dance, Beverly, because I will say yes, and then , the ship will explode, and it will all be my fault. So, proceed with your… medicine.” He waved a knowing finger, a rare smile coming over his face, one he tried frantically to suppress. 

“Right. Right! I just need to… refine the range of possible proteins a little more and I should… just about… There, got it! Jean-Luc, I’ve got it!” She slapped her desk excitedly, much more excitedly than she generally allowed herself to be, a big, real smile across her face. 

In a few minutes Crusher was synthesizing as much serum as she could and the Captain, now himself again, was on his way back to the bridge, in the hopes that the crew would be listening to his orders once again very shortly. At the same time Data hurried through the doors, finding one of the few empty beds left and depositing Geordi down onto it gently. Crusher herself rushed over to him. Immediately, she looked more like herself. She’d wiped the sweat from her face and gained a new focus in her eyes, the same effortless determination she carried with her in her stance and the swooping of her jacket. She hurried with a hypospray straight to Geordi’s arm. 

“Is this serum successful, Doctor?” asked Data.

“I haven’t exactly had time for testing, Data, but I’ll tell you one thing, I certainly feel much better,” she answered.

“That will have to suffice. I must get to engineering, but I would ask that you send further engineers to join me as soon as possible, Doctor. The fate of the enterprise depends on it.” 

She nodded. “Hear you loud and clear, Data, you get down there.” He nodded back, determination in his face, and turned back around again. Before Crusher could so much as turn to another patient, Geordi snapped awake, gasping in a huge lungful of air. He sat up, lifting himself up onto his hands and putting a hand to his head. Crusher turned back to him. “Oh, Commander LaForge, thank goodness. How do you feel?”

“I feel… a little fuzzy, doctor, but otherwise fine,” he answered. 

“Good. If you can walk, you’re needed in engineering. Data needs help with th-”

“The warp core!” he exclaimed, “Of course, we’ve got maybe five more minutes before the radiation starts to affect the dilithium vents. Thanks for the shot, Doctor, I gotta go!” he popped up out of bed and just like that he was gone, in a frantic run for the door. Crusher smiled after him. “Crusher to Commander Data. Just sent Geordi your way.”

Meanwhile, even in that short time, engineering had been filled. Standing on the table was Wesley Crusher. He had in his hands a short range tractor beam, and had been using it to chuck food from the replicator at the wall for the past half hour. So far he’d demolished a pizza, several chocolate cream pies, and a full wedding cake - all of which those around him thought was extremely funny. There was a crowd of about five or six adult officers pink in the face from laughing, tears in their eyes. 

One of them, doubled over, managed to get out, “D- do- do a lasagna next!”

“Okay, whatever you say, sir! Replicator, lasagna!” Wesley answered excitedly. The replicator, which he’d rigged to work right beside him, created a full pan of lasagna. It lasted for about five seconds, before the light of blue coming form Wesley’s little grey tractor beam lifted it, and splattered it across the wall. They all laughed loudly. The only thing that interrupted them was a furiously focused Geordi LaForge, his passionate former self once again. 

“Wesley, get down from there, and the rest of you get back to work! We’ve got a malfunction in the warp core and if it’s not corrected in about five minutes this whole ship is gonna be toast. I’ll take the engine buffer, the rest of you see if you can clear out the conduits faster than you ever have before!” He didn’t pause to find that none of his crew obeyed, immediately rushing into the dilithium chamber to work as quickly as he could. He shouted as he ran. “Data, how much time?!”

“ Two minutes and fifteen seconds,” he answered loudly.

“Jeez, what’s his problem?” asked Wesley, still standing on the table. Those around him laughed, until, like a swarm, the newly cured nurses in blue hurried around them. One by one they received hypersprays, leading them to blink, to put hands to their heads as they tried to piece together what was going on. Wesley was last, one nurse reaching up to shoot the hypospray into his ankle. He reeled. “What… what’s going…”

Geordi, seeing this, shouted to him. “No time to dawdle, ensign, we’ve got two minutes to get the warp core online!” 

“Two- two minutes?!” Panic quickly flooded his face. “Sir, that’s impossible!”

“It is with that attitude, now get going!”

He needed no further encouragement; none of them did. Soon, engineering was once again filled with frantic engineers, putting things together as fast as they could, taking shortcuts, running back and forth with different tools. “Come on, come on, come on!” Geordi muttered. 

“Forty five seconds remaining,” said Data. 

Another precious fifteen seconds passed. Heart racing, Geordi put the final pieces into place, and felt the dilithium chamber begin to buzz around him, heard it hum richly, filling the space. Tapping his combadge, he shouted, “Captain, now!”

On the bridge, the Captain commanded, “Ensign, engage at warp four!” and the ship shot off with a precious ten seconds remaining. 

Feeling the familiar buzz of the warp drive, Geordi deflated with relief, leaning against the console, breathing slowly. That one was close. Things slowed down in engineering, and one by one, everybody was cured of the strange ailment using the doctor’s brilliant serum. Each of them, in turn, blinked, became themselves again, and (perhaps with some residual embarrassment) returned to their posts. After a quick fix like that, though, the warp drives may as well have been held together with rubber bands. Geordi got to work filling out the repair properly, making sure everything was in place, taking the haste out of the equation. Data joined him at the same console. The two cooperated easily, experienced in and good at menial work. As it was menial, it left plenty of time to chat. 

“You know,” said Geordi, “I’d apologize to you, Data, but… try as I might I can’t for the life of me remember what it is I’m supposed to be apologizing for.”

He raised his eyebrows. “It is true that your actions were unwise,” he said, “But I see no reason you should apologize to me. I found your proposal quite... intriguing.”

Geordi creased his eyebrows. “My proposal?”

“Yes, Geordi. Do you not remember?” Geordi shook his head. “You suggested that, as we two were isolated in engineering, that we might engage in sexual activities. I believe your exact words were, ‘we should get on the floor and-’”

“D-Data!” Geordi objected, a crack in his voice. Immediately, he looked mortified, making frantically nervous adjustments to his uniform. “Data, I uh… I-I uh… I wasn’t myself, you understand!” he laughed anxiously, “I mean I obviously didn’t mean… I mean, it’s not as though I would ever suggest… We um… that-that we, um…” He cleared his throat, leaning uncomfortably over the console. “Tell you what. How about we just sort of… act like none of this… ever happened and… finish fixing the propulsion drive, okay?”

He raised his eyebrows. “As you wish, Geordi,” he said, and returned to his work. 

Meanwhile, on the bridge, Deanna Troi uncomfortably cracked her neck. She was looking worse for wear, to say the least. There was a cut on her cheekbone, bruises all over her arms, her hair still loose and unkempt in its bun, despite her best efforts to fix it. Riker squinted at her from his seat.

“You know, my desire for parties I can understand. But getting into a fight, Deanna? That’s not like you.”

She smiled, then winced, rubbing her shoulder. “What can I say,” she said with a shrug. She looked right at Worf, a sense of comradery in her eyes. “I guess I have a warrior side.”

Worf smiled back, only for a moment, and it was excited, confident. He returned to sobriety quickly, though, and to his work. 

“Well, I for one am just glad it’s over,” Riker said, raising his eyebrows. 

The Captain spoke up from his seat. “Likewise, Number One.”

“You know, Captain, I don’t think I ever saw you under this thing’s spell? I feel almost… cheated somehow.”

He laughed dryly. “I assure you, you didn’t miss much,” he said. Then, he nodded to the navigator. “Ensign. Set a course for Starbase Nine.”

“Aye, sir.”

He waved a hand and said, “Engage.”