Chapter Text
Uchiha Manor
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.” Glare.
“Yes” Glare.
“I said no, dobe.” Death glare
“And I said yes, teme.” Death glare.
“DA!” Squealed a small voice. Another squeal from a different source following that one. Sasuke and Naruto turned to the two babies on the floor, who were now facing off in a round of yes and no just as they had been a moment ago. In whatever alien language they spoke as babies, of course.
“You see, even Minato agrees with me.” Sasuke said to his husband.
“He said ‘Da’, Sasuke, it doesn’t mean he agrees with you.” Naruto argued as he moved to the kitchen. Sasuke followed him with a scowl on his face.
The Uchiha felt a vein pop on his forehead, “Listen here, moron, you’re not leaving me alone with the kids for two weeks. I forbit it.”
Naruto could have sworn he heard a whine in Sasuke’s voice. He coughed into his fist to hide a laugh at the thought that the almighty Uchiha was afraid of his own children. It was the funniest thing if you consider all other circumstances of their lives.
“You don’t have a choice. All the other parents are going. Besides you won’t be alone, Neji, Kiba, Lee and Shikamaru will be here, so, stop your whining and man up.” Said an incredibly irritated Naruto.
This sentence alone caused Sasuke to bristle like a cat seeing water, “No, no, nope, absolutely not!”
“Sasuke—”
“Taking care of my own children, that I can do. But sticking me in a house full of miscreants and their little demon spawns and expecting me to look after the kids at the same time? You must have lost what last brain cell you had left. No way in several hells, dobe!” Sasuke growled.
Naruto smirked. He really couldn’t care much for Sasuke’s insults at the moment because he knew it was a tactic by the Uchiha to get him angered enough to actually stay. But he was in control and he was more afraid of Sakura and Ino than he was of his own husband… What? He knew how to handle Sasuke by now, but the blonde and pinkette were an unsolvable mystery and Naruto found solace in being a ‘yes ma’am’ wherever they are concerned. Besides… Sasuke had it coming.
But he had to admit he had doubts about leaving his babies… It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Sasuke with them, merely that it was too soon after their birth. Which was only a few short months ago and he still felt incredibly—and rightfully— attached… As any ‘mother’ would.
A double tap sounded at the door and Naruto bolted to answer.
“Hello, Naruto-kun.” Hinata greeted, carrying her one-year-old, Kenjiro. She handed him over to Naruto when the blonde made grabby hands at the toddler.
“Hey, Hinata-chan! Come on in.” Naruto motioned for her to enter. Hinata went right past him and that’s when he noticed an exhausted Kiba lugging bags and suitcases with him while trying to get his four-year old daughter to let go of his leg.
“But Daaaaddy!” Ayaka whined, clutching her father’s leg, pulling on his trousers like a child on crack. Which was arguably believable, considering who her father is.
“Hinataaaa!” Kiba cried. “Please don’t do this to me! I beg of you!” he had major crocodile tears streaming down his face. Naruto snorted at the absolute pain on his face.
Hinata sighed and gave Naruto an annoyed look, which on sweet Hinata was just plain misplaced. “He can’t even handle a few hours of taking charge when I’m around, Naruto… two weeks of babysitting will have him hanging himself with his shoelaces.” She grumbled as walked back out to help her husband.
Naruto laughed so hard he almost dropped Kenjiro because the imagery alone was just hilarious. When he turned to take the little boy to the play room, his intentions flew out the window for a second as he came face to face with a very displeased Uchiha, with their third and youngest—if you could even call her that— sleeping in his arms.
“Naruto, I don’t care if you’re Hokage now, I will kill you twice and bury you thrice if you do this.” Sasuke said as he rocked the sleeping baby in his arms, gently rubbing her head from where it lay on his chest. He looked down at her when she whined in her sleep and shushed her quietly.
“Argh man, you know, I can’t really take you seriously when you’re in Daddy mode, teme.” Naruto passed his husband and headed for the large staircase with Hinata's son. “But if you want to kill me that many times, I suggest you get started immediately, Sasuke-kuuuun.” He called over his shoulder as he went up the flight of stairs.
“Naruto!” Sasuke growled lowly.
“Oh, hello, Sasuke-kun.” Hinata said, hand clutching Ayaka’s, finally getting Kiba in the house.
Sasuke froze and fixed a well-practiced glare on his face before turning to the woman, “Hinata.” His voice was dark and accusing, as if this was all Hinata’s idea.
The Hyuuga heiress just gave him a sweet smile and went in the same direction that Naruto disappeared off to, she could feel the burn of Sasuke’s glare on her back but she ignored it. It wasn’t the first and it would not be the last.
“Yo, Sasuke! How do you do it, man? I can barely handle Ayaka alone, never mind when she’s with Kenjiro and you got three of these little monst—!”
“You finish that sentence and you’re a dead man, Inuzuka. It’s fine if you want to label your own offspring monsters but mine are absolute angels… with a hint of devil in them.” He added with a smirk, “And if you wake my daughter with your barking, I will Chidori you where you stand. Believe it.” Sasuke promptly turned on his heel but he didn’t get far as a flash of green flew into the house.
“YES!! WE SHALL ACCEPT THIS CHALLENGE WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!! AM I RIGHT MY COMRADES—"
“Chidori!” Birds chirped, a crackle echoed through the air and a bolt of lightning hit Lee, immediately silencing him and rendering him unconscious. Sasuke stood over him with a snarl marring his lips, his Sharingan spinning dangerously as he clutched his crying daughter closer to his chest.
“Damnit. Keep your freak under control, Sakura, or dig a grave for him and I’ll take care of the rest.” Sasuke said, bouncing his daughter to calm her yet again. Sachiko was always the crankiest when being woken up and she definitely had Naruto’s lungs.
“Hi, to you too, Sasuke-grump.”
The Uchiha rolled his eyes, “You’re not being cute.” He deadpanned. “Naruto! More of the stupid is here!” He yelled towards the stairs then turned to his daughter. “Alright, sweetheart, daddy’s got you. Shush Sachi I’m right here.” He cooed into his little girl’s ear as Sachiko twisted this way and that in discomfort.
“Damnit, what did you do, teme?!” Naruto yelled as he heard his little banshee screeching.
“Shut it, dobe.” Sasuke snapped. “Sachiko, please calm down…” He lifted the child from his chest by her armpits to nuzzle his nose with hers, even as she squirmed. “Please, sweet pea? For daddy?” the man pretty much begged, which actually worked because the baby’s cries became small whimpers. Sasuke smiled and held her to his chest again, “There you go.” He sighed “You really are Naruto’s daughter, aren’t you?” He mumbled in her fluffy blonde curls, making his way to the kitchen to make said daughter an afternoon snack since she was already up.
With his attention completely stolen by his daughter, the Uchiha was completely oblivious to the fact that the door was now crammed with more people, and every pair of eyes was watching him in action.
“Damn… I wish Shikamaru was like that.” Ino started, “Lazy ass. Can we exchange husbands, Naruto? Also, is it weird that I feel safer and better leaving my son in a house with Sasuke than I do leaving him with his own father? Now who would have thought—”
“Do you ever breathe?” Kiba chimed in. While the joke earned him a great laugh and a fist bump from Sakura, it also earned him a headache from Ino’s punch to his crown. Yes, it hurt.
“SHIKAMARU! INSIDE, NOW!” Ino called out to the man lounging lazily in the car.
“Jesus, Ino-pig keep it down, will ya? I just got this one to sleep.” Sakura said, motioning to her son. She and Rock Lee had a two-year old son, Hibiki, who took his mother’s looks in every way with the green eyes and the pink hair; and Eriko, their five-year old daughter, who took her father’s black hair but like her brother, had Sakura’s green eyes.
“Yeah, and no way am I giving up the teme. Do you know how much time and literal blood, sweat and tears I invested into building this relationship alone?” Naruto groaned. “He may drive me nuts sometimes but it took me three years to get him back to the village and another two to get the bastard to admit he so much as liked me. Then another two to get him to put out.” The blonde smirked, “Besides, he’s a great father when he wants to be and don’t even get me started on the se—"
“Naruto-kun!” Hinata chimed in, a furious blush attacking her face. Naruto just laughed, even after two children Hinata was a shy little swan.
**~~***~~**
As more of the parents showed up, Naruto got them settled into the Uchiha Mansion, assigning different rooms to the parents and then the kids. Once everybody was settled, it was time for the mothers to leave, of course they were still waiting for one.
“Is this punishment for our un-youthful behavior two months ago? Sakura-chan, we apologized!” Lee complained. They were having a final meeting in Naruto's home office/study before the others left.
“Yeah… then you did it again two weeks ago.” Sakura threw a glare at her husband. “What the hell made you think it was a good idea to challenge Kumogakure shinobi to a race across Fire Country? You guys disappeared for a whole week and came back with bruises! Bruises, by the way, that I had to treat!”
“Hey, in our defense, the last time we were up against Iwagakure and they had it coming! Saying we lost our balls since we got married and had kids…” Kiba mumbled the last part with a pout. Hinata frowned at him and he clammed up.
You see, Kiba learned very quickly that no, Hinata was not the sweet one of her family, she was just mellow about her Hyuuga nature than her father and cousin. Oh, Hinata was sweet alright… as sweet as a cat with drapes and everything you hold dear and precious.
“Excellent! Well since you all have time to run around Fire Country like a bunch of headless chickens, I’m pretty sure you can handle a few babies and toddlers for two weeks.” Naruto smirked. Imagine his surprise when he found out that Sasuke was the one who instigated the whole thing? Kingpin, he was.
Ino nodded, “That’s right. After all, a few diaper pushers can’t be any more challenging than full grown shinobi, can they?”
“Have you ever tried running after Asuma?” Shikamaru said, his trademark lazy look ever-present.
Ino bristled like a leaf in the wind, “What the hell do you think I’ve been doing for the past year, you asshole?!”
Shikamaru sighed. “Troublesome.”
Sakura scoffed, “Not yet… but it will be.” she smirked.
“Hokage-sama?” A maiden knocked and opened the door. “Lord Kazegage and Hyuuga-san are here.” Sasuke grumbled under his breath. Always "Hokage-sama", he was the head of the house, not Naruto. And no, he was not pouting, mind your damn business.
“Thank you, Nami. You may take your leave now.” Naruto grinned and headed out, already too excited at the thought of seeing Gaara. They haven't visited with each other in five months, both having their respective duties as parents, husbands and Kages.
Sasuke caught up late to what Naruto said before he rushed out. “I'm sorry, what?” he blinked to the empty chair Naruto was in a minute ago. Naruto hadn’t informed him that he gave the servants, especially the damn nanny, leave. Growling lowly, he stood and followed his husband.
“Gaaraaaa!” Naruto yelled as he slid down the long staircase railings, arms spread out wide in glee.
Sasuke sighed. “Great, I have four children.”
Naruto crushed Gaara in a hug and held on tight for about a decade or so. Neji passed by them swiftly, not even bothering to acknowledge the blonde, and moved to his nemesis.
“Uchiha.” he greeted dully.
“Hyuuga.” Sasuke clipped with the same tone. “You don’t look at all bothered about this.” The Uchiha narrowed his eyes at the Hyuuga. Yes, he was suspicious of him too. He didn't trust those dead little eyes.
Neji just smirked. “Being a single father for two weeks too scary for you, cousin?”
“Hn. I’m an Uchiha, nothing scares me, especially not my own children… Cousin.” Sasuke defended.
Naruto and Gaara sweat-dropped at their antics. “Yeesh, imagine if they had a baby together.” Naruto thought aloud with a shudder. Gaara simply looked horrified by the thought. As much as he could express anyway, without… well, expressing.
“Uncle Naruto!” A four-year-old red haired Chiyo exclaimed as she jumped into Naruto’s awaiting arms. She was the spitting image of Gaara with the red hair and round face but she had Neji’s eyes.
“Hellooo Chiyo-chan!” Naruto spun the girl around, filling the room with her cheerful squeals. “Look how big you’ve gotten! Such a big girl!”
“NEJIIIIIIIII!!!” Lee came flying down the stairs headed straight for Neji. The Hyuuga prodigy moved to the side, effectively avoiding getting hit by the Green Monster.
“Lee. Do you not see the precious cargo I’m carrying?” Neji growled with a glare. Lee gave him an apologetic smile, when he saw the babies in the carrier seats that Neji had in each hand.
“Okay! Time to go!” Sakura said, pushing the Ino, Hinata, Gaara and Naruto out the door.
“Wait! Sakura-chan, I haven’t said goodbye to the kids and Sasuke yet!” Naruto tried to escape her grasp but she held on tight.
“No way, Naruto! You go back in there and you’re never coming out!”
“But—but— SAKURAAAAAA!!!” Naruto cried.
“You better take good care of my children, Hyuuga!” the Kazekage warned his husband as he too was being rushed out the door. Sakura gave one final shove and out they went.
“You too, Shikamaru! I’ll be watching y—” Ino called out.
“Ino! Shhh!” the other others shushed her.
Neji sighed… this was going to be the longest fortnight of his life.