Work Text:
1967
The sun was setting as they drove, resting between the California mountains and casting the sky in a bright glow. Flaming orange to compliment a cooler blue. The engine hummed steadily as the red convertible made its way down the highway, not too fast but not too slow.
Mathias was relaxed in the driver’s seat. His right hand held onto the transmission, shifting gears when necessary. His left hung on loosely to the steering wheel, his elbow propped up on top of the door. The top was down that evening, allowing the wind to blow roughly through his hair. The wind was not unpleasant, however, as the descent of the sun did not guarantee cooler weather. California was hot—and he was still in his tuxedo, so the breeze that blew over him was very much welcomed.
He averted his eyes from the road for a second to glance at the passenger on his right. Lukas sat back in his seat, one arm hanging over the side of the door. He paid no mind to Mathias, his attention focused on the mountainous scenery that passed them. Mathias noticed his furrowed eyebrows and the slight scowl on his face as he had to squint against the shining sun, despite his sunglasses. Mathias had to make an effort to see as well, his own shades rendered useless against the bright ball in the sky.
Lukas’s other hand—the one inside the car—rested atop his leg, and it was decorated with expensive-looking rings. Almost one on each finger. Mathias hadn’t seen most of them before; did Lukas buy them recently? Or did he snag them from the party they had just ditched? He suspected the latter, as he knew that Lukas wasn’t very much interested in the social endeavors that accompanied the Hollywood lifestyle. Mathias liked that about Lukas—he took what he wanted, and hid from no one. He wouldn’t be surprised if Lukas’s other hand also shone silver and gold, displayed over the side of the candy apple door for the whole world to see, if they wanted to.
Turning his gaze back to the road in front of him, Mathias supposed he should be grateful that he was driving his own car with his partner in the passenger seat, and not the other way around. For a man who did what he wanted when he wanted, Lukas was almost never seen in public without Mathias. They attended most outings together, including tonight’s. He couldn’t be too sure who’s event it was, or why it was being thrown. All he had known was where to be and when; more specifically, when to be at Lukas’s to pick him up. Although they were seen side by side in public often, they didn’t live together—that would be too suspicious. Mathias could say it was torture to be forced away from Lukas at times, because it was, but at the same time it was fun to keep their little secret, the one piece of information the paparazzi didn’t know about them.
Bob Dylan was playing on the radio, although Mathias couldn’t make out which song it was over the sound of the wind and the engine. But he’d recognize that guitar anywhere. Lukas loved Bob Dylan, so Mathias did, too; Mathias loved everything that Lukas loved. Bob Dylan, expensive champagne, grand villas overlooking the sea. The list could go on. To put it simply, Mathias was obsessed. He chuckled to himself—two years ago, he wouldn’t have cared at all for the lavish lifestyle he led, having no purpose for his giant house in San Francisco, or the Mercedes Benz he was currently driving. But Lukas found more pleasure in being spoiled rotten, and Mathias would be lying if he said he hadn’t discovered an appreciation for the nicer things in life.
He risked another glance at Lukas, who remained as he previously was, watching the world pass by them. The wind tousled his hair, making a mess of his Elvis cut, but he did little to fix it. His foot tapped lightly to the song on the radio, and Mathias imagined him singing along in his head, if he could even hear the lyrics. The sun, from its low point on the horizon, bounced off his skin, illuminating him against the sky. Mathias thought he was beautiful. He thought he was so beautiful, and he had to stop himself from shouting it out to everyone he met.
And then Lukas turned away from the mountains and setting sun and caught Mathias staring at him. He wasn’t taken aback, though, rather he was mildly annoyed. Lukas claimed he had no idea why Mathias was so enamored with him, that he didn’t see what Mathias saw, that he didn’t understand that he was the most brilliant person alive.
“What?” Lukas asked, looking irritated.
Mathias returned his attention to the highway again, smiling to himself. “No one ever thinks of you as much as I do,” he said. Lukas was the epitome of glitz and glamor, of fame and fortune, and the number of people who would lose an arm to simply be in his presence was staggering, but even still, he knew his words were true.
“What?” Lukas asked once more. He hadn’t heard him. Damn engine.
Mathias didn’t repeat himself, instead giving his beloved a quick smile before looking forward. “Not even you.”
Lukas gave up, and Bob Dylan faded into Johnny Cash as the Golden Gate Bridge came into view, and Mathias knew that it wouldn’t be much longer until they were pulling into Lukas’s drive. Maybe Lukas would invite him inside, maybe he wouldn’t. He would certainly prefer the former, but he wouldn’t be mad either way. Lukas enjoyed his privacy, and if he had simply wanted Mathias to give him a lift to a gala to slip some jewelry off of unsuspecting guests and bounce, well, then Mathias was happy to comply.
Still, while he was glad to simply spend time with the man he loved, Mathias wondered if Lukas loved him in the same way. He knew Lukas tolerated him, in both public and private, but he wondered if he spent as much time reminiscing on fond memories or thinking about the next time they’d meet. Did Lukas sneak glances at him when he wasn’t looking? Did he have to refrain from exclaiming how much he cared about Mathias to others? Did he put all of his energy into imagining a life that was just the two of them, like Mathias did? A life without the attention and cameras, champagne, villas, or fancy parties?
Would Lukas love him without the Mercedes? He had bought it to impress him, after all. What if their riches disappeared, and they were bankers, or grocery store tellers, or anything other than what they already were, would things be different? If they were middle-class, or lower-class? Would Lukas love him then?
Mathias continued to wonder as the car crossed the bridge. The sun was descending quicker now, the sky no longer orange but a deep blue that would soon fade into black. Mathias removed the sunglasses from his face and flicked the headlights on. The water beneath them was dark and calm. Its cool temperature added to the breeze that continued to whip through their hair. If Mathias had been driving alone, he perhaps would’ve kept the top up to avoid ruining his hair. But, of course, he knew that Lukas liked the top down, and so it was down.
He wished he could catch a glimpse inside Lukas’s mind, to see what he was thinking. What went through his mind during their silent drives, their silent lunches, their silent mornings together? They spent so much time attached at the hip, the entire world knew they were close. Yet there were so many moments where Mathias was clueless as to what Lukas thought about them, and he was becoming desperate to find out. He loved Lukas so much he could hardly contain himself. And Lukas..?
He didn’t get to ask, however, because his breath was taken away by the feeling of a hand resting atop his own, still on the transmission. The cool metal of Lukas’s rings somehow burned his skin and rendered him paralyzed, and he now wondered how just a simple touch could make his heart want to clammer its way out of his chest.
Lukas said nothing, only continued to stare ahead. Probably for the best, so Mathias could focus all his attention on the feeling of soft skin, of fingers curling between his own. His left hand subconsciously gripped the steering wheel tighter, and he resisted the urge to lean over and kiss Lukas senseless. Alas, they were still driving, the bridge stretching impossibly far in front of them, taunting them.
He shot his gaze over to Lukas anyway. Lukas didn’t look back, but Mathias noticed the unmistakable curve of a smile on his face, and he was gone again.
Mathias would walk to the end of the earth for Lukas. He would climb the highest altitudes and swim to the lowest depths, and sacrifice everything he had, and he often wondered if Lukas loved him to the same degree. There were moments where he bargained with himself, and doubted, but then there were moments such as this: moments where Lukas let Mathias drive him home early from a party, and where he grabbed onto his hand and kept it there as they passed over the Golden Gate Bridge, and Mathias knew he had his answer.
In night and day, in public and private, with or without the fancy galas, expensive champagne, and seaside villas, Lukas loved him.