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Wei Wuxian yawns and winces as his bones crack when he tries to stretch, not his fault he was a middle aged, over worked lawyer. He paddles into his kitchen, impeccably clean as always considering his husband was Lan Wangji, and grabs his cup before pouring the hot water and placing the tea bag inside,it was Lavender infused, the fancy kind whose existence Wei Wuxian promptly ignored until the weekend. He slowly walks past their white marbled kitchen counter, laden with an assortment of fruits, nuts and granola bars on one side and fiery Cheetos and spicy seaweed crisps on the other, before reaching his fridge.
Lan Wangji as was usual, had a slice of lemon, ginger and a swirl of honey on a Tupperware in the front, he grabbed it and threw the contents on his mug, before throwing the utensil in the sink. Standing on his tip toe he trotted over to the breakfast nook on the corner, a window seat letting the afternoon breeze in with a round white wooden table and an old bench and plopped down on his spot. His phone chimed with a text and he took a sip of his tea before opening it.
It was a notification from A-Yuan's Instagram, well sue him but technically he was an Asian mom and keeping tabs on his child was a given, even if the child was as good as Lan Sizhui. It was a picture of Lan Wangji and him in front of the orchestra and an elaborate review of the concert they had attended, which Wei Wuxian promptly skipped in order to stare at his husband and son. Lan Wangji looked pristine as ever in his white slacks and pressed polo as he gave a placid look at the camera and Lan Sizhui, who had an arm around his dad as the red ribbon in his ponytail flailed across his forehead, was smiling wide. These Lans, never good for his heart.
Wei Wuxian couldn't help the pang of jealousy and want, he should have been there to tease his prim and proper husband and Lan Sizhui's never ending crush on the lead violinist. He was of course, always welcome but this was their dad-son bonding time which started at the time when Sizhui was three and Wei Wuxian was a busy grad student and working dad. He used to cry all day missing Wei Wuxian and one Thursday during a hectic final had gotten violently ill staying up cold. Lan Wangji had taken care of him, nursed him back to health and adamantly asked them both to move in with him. Once Sizhui was better, he took him out to the Lan estate to watch the rabbits, which became the first of their weekly Dad-son Lan time. Wei Wuxian still remembered a shiny eyed Lan Wangji carrying a sleeping Sizhui on his arms and trying to repress the wonder in his voice after they came back from the rabbits. After that it was the zoo, aquarium, Ice cream shops, libraries, play centers. After which Sizhui turned ten and became a mini Lan Wangji and they started attending musicals and concerts and football matches. In the evenings, they both visited Lan Qiren for dinner and a sermon. (Lan Qiren getting to see his grand nephew and nephew without the abomination that was Wei Wuxian was always a happy event, obviously the sermon was the greatness of being a Lan and the evil of being Wei Wuxian followed by a grudging acceptance and invite to Sunday brunch.)
He clicked on the picture an unnecessary amount of times, watching the hearts appear and flicker before going to leave a comment. Well, well, well, Lan Xichen was as usual, the first to comment in the picture.
@zewujun You are right A-Yuan, they could have made the shrill in the Toccata and Fugue in D minor a little lower, but maybe it was the instrument. I particularly enjoyed your comment on their rendition of the Brahms sonata. A-Zhan looks very happy here.@Hanguangjun
Wei Wuxian was not surprised, Lan Xichen held the title for the world's most indulgent uncle. He knew that their son was more like Lan Xichen than his parents with his easy smile and tactile behavior.
@yilinglaozu My boy looking good. Wonder who he got it from.
@jiangwanyin @yilinglaozu definitely not you.
He giggled before scrolling down, Jiejie had posted a reel of her new recipe and he shamelessly leaves a reminder begging her to send it to him. He snorted at Jin Zixuan's post of his newest car and left a peacock which Jiang Cheng liked before commenting the yawning emoji. He liked the post of Wen Ning and Wen Qing in front of her OP captioned 'what is social life' and commented,
@yilinglaozu awww y'all missing me and crying like this.
His phone chimed in multiple notifications at that and he left the app to open his group chat with Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng.
Nie-xiong: We've starteddddddd. Will be there in an hour. *wine emoji* *cake emoji*
Bestdidi: You better not fall asleep and make us stand there for an hour moron
Wei Ying: can't wait *spa girl emoji* *painted nails emoji*
The tea went cold as Wei Wuxian tipped his head back in laughter to the new Video of A-Qing and Xue Yang trying the Deathly Demon Roller Coaster. It might be nice to meet Song-Lan and Xiao Xingchen, they were both professors at the Gusu university and had known him from their time as teaching assistants. But Wei Wuxian had been busy the past month with an important case for Wen Qing so he'd passed on all their invitations.
Another chime.
Bestdidi: We're here, moron.
He sighed as he gulped the contents and gathered his robes tighter before paddling over to the door, his fluffy pink rabbit slippers a stark contrast to the tiled floor.
It was a matching pair with Lan Wangji, because obviously they were that couple now. Wei Wuxian loved being domestic, doing the chores (Lan Wangji did the chores while he sat on the counter staring at his biceps but technicalities ), raising a son (God he had been so terrified and helpless before Lan Wangji had found him) and sharing their finances (They had recently invested in Mianmian's cafe)!
The door bell rang continuously, which could be no one except Jiang Cheng so Wei Wuxian made him wait an extra minute before opening the door.
"A-Cheng! I missed you." He wailed before flinging himself forward towards an annoyed Jiang Cheng.
"We just met yesterday!"He groaned and pushed the heap towards a giggling Nie Huaisang.
"Nie-xiong I can't believe you began without me!" Wei Wuxian grumbled at the whiff of alcohol strong under his breath.
"I had to try if it was good Wei-xiong." Nie Huaisang pouted as he ushered them all in. Jiang Cheng groaning as they left him to carry the bags again.
Wei Wuxian went inside his room and took his own parcel and the tray containing the huge Ice bucket and fancy wine glasses before plopping down beside the two. Nie Huaisang was opening a new bottle of emperor's smile and Jiang Cheng was setting up the projector.
"I really liked that dress on her man." Wei Wuxian mumbled mournfully as he buried himself further into the soft cushion of their cloud sofa. Huaisang gave a similar whimper, they usually preferred watching 'Say yes to the Dress!' and bitched about the bad choices, extra frills and shitty relatives.
Jiang Cheng gave a non-committal grunt as he picked up his own glass of wine, as though he wasn't the most invested of them. Once Lan Wangji had found Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang on the footrest struggling on top of a enraged Jiang Cheng trying to call the production company to get the number of an asshole Fiance who had one too many opinions about his future wife's body. Needless to say, Nie Huaisang hadn't touched him for months after. Ah, good times for Wei Wuxian.
"Mmmmhmm. I really wanna kiss Lan Zhan ah!" Wei Wuxian said swirling his glass of Emperor's smile appreciatively. It bought back fond memories of their first meet and further ones of adorable drunk Lan Wangji.
"Shut up." Jiang Cheng had been trying to ban the mention of that name.
"Wei-Xiong this new face mask of yours. So nourishing. -Hiccup- Here feel my face." Nie Huaisang said thrusting his face forward. Wei Wuxian gave an assessing look while Jiang Cheng smacked him across the forehead.
"You literally just put that on."
"Ouch Jiang Cheng, don't be so snarky. Here's yours, cherry blossom." Nie Huaisang giggled and leaned forward clumsily to plaster a pale pink face mask on his face.
Jiang Cheng groaned but pressed the mask firmly giving it light pats and turned up the volume.
Jealous bridesmaid tries on Helpless Bride's dress and finds a Rip!
"Scandalous!" Wei Wuxian gasped.
"why does this seem so familiar?" Jiang Cheng scowled.
"Su She." Huaisang started laughing, head thrown back and feet tingling.
"Oh my god! I don't even know how he got the invitation." Jiang Cheng exclaimed
They all cringed at the memory of Su Minshan, a subordinate in the Lan Corp and a senior from their university who'd had the world's worst crush on Lan Wangji.
"He deserved it. Like he PUKED ON THE CAKE? Right when you guys were about to cut it! It was custom made and everything! Mianmian was furious and A-Yuan was devastated." Huaisang shook his head.
"But like we got to see Mingjue flex." Wei Wuxian said dreamily. He wasn't particularly angry about the incident, every wedding needed drama.
"I still don't understand how he got in. Remember how he used to wait in the corridors for Lan Wangji?
"Oh did you hear that he blew up the printer again?" Wei Wuxian groaned.
"No way!" Huaisang exclaimed. His eyes a matching glint to Wei Wuxian. They were after all the gremlins of Gusu University and the best partners in crime.
"Right before the meeting with the Yaos. Lan Xichen was furious, can you imagine that?"
"Ohh, was that the one which Jin Zixun wanted to invest?" Jiang Cheng asked before cringing. No one really talked about Jin Zixun especially after he'd tried to take every case against the ones Wei Wuxian handled before being forcefully transferred to the other side of the country.
"Who's that?" Wei Wuxian asked confused. Nie Huaisang snorted.
"No one relevant, My Wei-xiong did you try the chocolates I bought? They were from Da-ge's trip to Belgium last week." He said passing a dark wrapped box with a huge ribbon on the front.
"Ooohhh." Wei Wuxian said as he opened the cover. It smelled of rich hazelnuts and roasted cardamom and was shaped like little lotuses. Wei Wuxian gave Jiang Cheng a piece before taking two for himself. It was just right, the kind of spicy he craved for desert. But the surprise hit later as the sudden flavor of strong rum almost made him stagger.
"Thisssss. So good. Reminds me of our trip to India." Nie Huaisang smiled at the memory, family vacations were always adorably chaotic.
"Everyone show me your glasses. Muah!" Nie Huaisang raised his glass towards his phone and nudged the others to pose. He was the influencer of the family much to Nie Mingjue's horror who'd found that from a Lingerie line he'd collaborated with.
Wei Wuxian giggled and licked his lips, making sure the red tint was visible and barred his teeth a the camera, Jiang Cheng just scowled ignoring them but the pink face mask made him look like a disgruntled kitten.
@theniehuaisang which color should we pick? hmm I think pink. *nail emoji**winking emoji* @yilinglaozu @jiangcheng
"Ohhh pink!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed and waved his hands in front of Jiang Cheng, signature pout adorning his face. Jiang Cheng was the best at painting nails. It was a routine he and Jiang Yanli had developed to make Wei Wuxian stay still and grill answers out of him when they were teens.
"Can't you do it yourself? You are almost forty Wei Wuxian." He complained but caught Wei Wuxian's fingers and started to scrap the left over polish. Nie Huaisang scooted down and took the aroma oil from the tray and gently began rubbing soothing circles in Wei Wuxian's feet. It was a usual routine they did, pampering each other, binge watching reality TV with way too much food and gossiping like grandmas. Something that kept them grounded even after all these years, though there were a lot of changes. Like the instant ramen being replaced by expensive fruits and sushi, take-away beer with Emperor's smile sometimes directly from the production house and their movie screens instead of Jiang Cheng's grainy Laptop.
They watched the series in calm silence, getting steadily drunk and loose limbed.
"I feel like guilty man. Like when I get chocolates or something, I wanna save them for Sizhui, cos my Baby likes them. But these literally have rum in them. So like, why am I feeling so-so bad and blamable?" Wei Wuxian gave a slow sniffle.
"Ah, Wei-xiong. Sizhui wouldn't mind. You know he's a good kid."Nie Huaisang said trying to pace the upcoming sad-fest. He'd wanted to postpone that as much as possible.
"He doesn't care about chocolates idiot. He's a Lan." Jiang Cheng said gruffly, there had been a time when he was fighting over Sizhui being a Jiang but the boy had made it clear soon. He carried the Jiang motto but Sizhui was a Lan through and through.
"Maybe you could use this later with Wangji-xiong." Nie Huaisang giggled. Wei Wuxian thought about the extremely appealing idea of Lan Wangji's abs glistening with molten chocolate. Something they had tried numerous times before and blushed.
"Such good ideas Nie-xiong." He said patting Huaisang's head.
"Idiots. He'd be burnt from the spice in this shit. So have fun with that." Jiang Cheng snorted.
"Ughhhh A-cheng, you are such a kill joy. This is why you are single." Wei Wuxian groaned and buried his face in his brother's chest. He could feel Nie Huaisang's leg vibrating violently beneath him. Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng were in fact in love with each other which everyone but Jiang Cheng knew. It wasn't the earth-shattering-fuck me now and everyday kind of love like Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, it was a slow burn, friends to lovers, oblivious mess.
"Remember when you pushed him in the lake? God! The shirt just clung into him. How is he real?" Huaisang had asked that question so many times in his life from their first meet.
Wei Wuxian did remember that. In fact, it was one of his favorite vacations and Lan Wangji had gotten literally sun-tanned.
Jiang Cheng scowled as though a particularly annoying mosquito kept buzzing around his ear," I don't know what you guys see in him."
The other two burst in laughter, sounds of teasing joy echoing through the house.They took turns after that, massaging each other, burying in ridiculously expensive skin care and lighting up scented candles until their huge Living room started resembling their dorm after the first time they got high.
They called Yanli, her happy face projected in the huge screen as they moaned about the Take-out sushi not being a match to hers. She laughed at their stories delighted and happy in her all-kind big sister way, Wei Wuxian's favorite sound like wind chimes and comfort before ushering them to take care and not disturb Lan Wangji. Huff, as though. Lan Wangji loved cleaning, he'd bought the house for the unfairly huge dishwasher but had never once used it. He did laundry like a religious experience every week and had a shared excel with Sizhui for picking up groceries and cleaning the rabbit pen. Wei Wuxian gave a fond smile.
It was almost four when they started the next movie, feeling lazy and content and fuzzy until Jiang Cheng's phone started to ring continuously.
He tried to ignore it at first but it seemed to be some sort of an emergency so he started texting back furiously.
"I think it's time to leave?" Huaisang said guessing the reason. He sounded reluctant and distressed.
I don't think so. You guys can just stay the night." Wei Wuxian said eyebrows crinkling and bottom lip proding out.
"I don't think we can, I have to drive Huaisang and-" His phone rang again interrupting him.
"Nooooooo. We should have a sleepover. Why did you turn on your phone? Jiang Cheng stay!" He whined. He hated the part where they had to leave. Nie Huaisang gave a helpless gesture, Mingjue still gave him bedtimes and Wei Wuxian knew that the weekends were high business for Influencers.
"We have to go. Mom wants me to help her for the dinner tomorrow." Jiang Cheng's voice sound bland and Madame Yu's mention made Wei Wuxian sigh. Nobody could argue with that.
The family dinner™ was that one thing you can never skip or be read to face sure death. It was a mixture of all their families which Madame Yu, Madame Jin and Lan Qiren tried to best each other at hosting. They started with high tea or in Lan Qiren's case meditation and a sermon (Wei Wuxian was never awake to know what it was actually about) and then a tense awkward dinner, followed by desert and fancy champagne( This was just code for boasting about who's grand child was best, but since everyone was everyone's grandchild they couldn't technically deny or accept anything.) This all lasteduntil someone stormed off(Lan Wangji with Wei Wuxian and Lan Yuan during the unmentionable first dinner), someone spoke about Mondays( Mingjue gruffly declaring he was done or Xichen warmly thanking the hosts), so many people puking(after one disastrous lobster night with the Jins where everybody had gotten food poisoned) or the kids falling asleep(which didn't work anymore, sigh.)
"You better not wear that crop top again" Jiang Cheng warned as they grabbed their coats. Nie Huaisang pouted.
"I though you looked very fuckable Wei-xiong. Like you rocked the twink." He gave a gesture which could have meant ass or a flower pot. He was staggering and practically being held up by Jiang Cheng.
"Thank you Nie-xiong. Lan Zhan made sure of that." Wei Wuxian exclaimed but he was already curling up on the sofa. The warm blanket soothing him to sleep. He knows that moving wasn't an option, not when he was this sated and bubbly and just drunk.
"Buh-bye." He gave a wave, arm weighing down. Jiang Cheng threw a cushion at him as they closed the door.
"Text me when you reach home." He's sure he said that out loud.
------
Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui came around late at night when Wei Wuxian was cleaning up and dancing to Mo Xuanyu's latest single, carrying ice cream and left overs from their dinner. Lan Qiren had no doubt tried to make them stay as long as possible.
"Wel well well, look at my little Lans." Wei Wuxian exclaimed a little too loud for the sleepy pair.
"How was your day?" He asked them as he all but pounced on the food, interrogation was his favorite part of being a mother.
Lan Sizhui's eyes shone,"It was so good Baba. A-Die and I even went-"His ears flushed red like Lan Wangji's and he turned his face down. "I'll help you." He said and rushed into the kitchen.
"Oh my god Lan Zhan, did you see that? Our little radish has a crush. This is so adorable, I can't wait to tell this to-to everyone!"
Lan Wangji nodded," We went backstage and the violinist gave him a demo." His voice sounded the usual but Wei Wuxian could detect the hint of an underlying emotion.
"You don't approve? Aiyah Lan Zhan, this is all very normal for kids, imagine how you were when you were fifteen! If only Lan Qiren knew about what was going on inside your head, Oh-wait a minute. Hanguangjun don't you say that you are protective over him? Are you jealous Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian's face broke into a teasing smirk.
Lan Wangji refused to comment and turned towards their bedroom.
"Ahh this is so cute, my husband is the cutest. What even are bunnies? Don't worry Lan Zhan your baby is not going anywhere soon. It's his first crush, you shouldn't be so-" Lan Wangji closed the door shut.
Wei Wuxian sighed, nobody respected him in this household.
"Baba." Lan Sizhui said handing him a glass of water and basket of chili oils and started to open the other dishes. Wei Wuxian's heart fluttered, this sweet child of his.
"You should go sleep bunny. I'll take care of this."He said gently carding a finger through his hair. A-Yuan leant on his touch and nuzzled against his fingers for a second before nodding sleepily.
"Night Baba." He gave a side hug and almost dragged his feet, because Lan's don't drag their feet and according to Lan Qiren Sizhui was the Savior or something.
Huh, guess quite a few people had a good day today.
Bestdidi: Reached home. Huaisang fell asleep in the car.
Nie-xiong: I didn't, I just wanted to see if you were still strong,
Bestdidi: Whatever.
Wei Wuxian: I'm just gonna sleep.
He silenced his phone, threw it on the counter where he'd definitely search frantically next morning and hurried through his dinner. The food was bland as usual but the chili oil made it taste like gourmet.
He dumped the dishes on the rack, he'd definitely clean up tomorrow and rushed into the bedroom to join his husband.
------
Later as Lan Wangji peppered kisses all over the bruises he'd sucked on Wei Wuxian's thighs he asked him, " Did you have a good day husband?"
Shivering with pleasure Wei Wuxian answered, "I did."