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"Xiaojun!"
Hendery waves him over and Xiaojun looks up. He stands hunched over in the middle of the practice room, his hands propped on his knees. His breathing is labored, as if he's inhaling water instead of air, and his lungs are burning. He hasn't been doing good enough, he knows it, and the shame runs deep.
One last deep breath and he straightens up as he uses his fingers to wipe the sweat from his eyes, can feel it trickling down his temples, the back of his neck. His shirt is completely soaked and he thanks his morning self that it's black, as are his sweats. There is nothing more humiliating than gray sweatshirts with definite dark areas of sweat around the butt crack, everyone has had that experience at some point.
He fails to notice Kun stepping up to him and flinches violently when Kun puts a hand on his shoulder. Blood rushes through his ears and the world blurs around his edges for an excruciatingly long second.
Dazed, he blinks back at Kun until he can see the latter's face in focus again.
"Xiaojun?" The concern in Kun's now serious voice seems to prove to Xiaojun just one more time that his performance is slipping. Still, he puts on a friendly smile and looks questioningly at Kun, which Kun only acknowledges with a weary sigh.
"What is it?" asks Xiaojun as casually as possible, telling himself that no one can see how much his knees are shaking. The others seem to be coping just fine. He holds them up.
"You don't look so good. Bad night's sleep?" Kun grabs him by the arm and leads him over to Hendery, who is standing next to their dance instructor, engaged in a heated conversation. Just in time, Kun catches Hendery's arm, who gestures wildly and nearly slaps Xiaojun across the face.
"Oh, crap, Xiaojun! Sorry." Hendery's eyes go wide as he realizes his mistake and Xiaojun just shrugs it off with a smile, shaking his head.
"Watch who you throw your limbs at," Kun reprimands him. "I can't have collateral damage."
Xiaojun notices the dance instructor eyeing him critically. As if he is sizing him up and evaluating him for the performance he delivered today. The guy doesn't seem to like what he sees, because his lips tighten and he turns away from Xiaojun as if he were thin air. After a curt goodbye, the man leaves and Hendery's smile is wiped off his face.
"He was complaining about me, wasn't he?" Xiaojun tries to pull himself together, but he notices his strength leaving him. If it wasn't for Kun's strong grip holding him, he would have already sunk to the floor.
"A little," Hendery admits, looking at Xiaojun with concern. "But this dude is the biggest blasphemer in all of SM. Gossiping is how he communicates."
"I hope he's not married," says Kun dryly, his arm wrapping around Xiaojun's waist as he notices the latter tilt to one side. "Do you need anything? A snack, water?"
"I think sitting would be a good start," Xiaojun quips between clenched teeth and a pained expression.
"That can be arranged," Kun replies calmly, Hendery's hand settles between Xiaojun's shoulder blades and together they escort their patient to one of the cheap white plastic chairs standing in every corner.
Hendery struggles to find one that neither wobbles nor has a broken leg, succeeds, and not even a minute later Xiaojun slumps down.
Kun goes down on his knees in front of him as Xiaojun's head falls back into his neck and he closes his eyes. His skin looks quite pale, unhealthily silver and bluish under the bright neon lights.
By now, the rest of WayV, who happen to be spread all over the room, have caught on to the little drama, and Kun just shows them with a curt shake of his head not to make a fuss. Xiaojun is grateful for that. Kun knows that none of the guys like to show weakness in front of the others, they all have their pride to defend and little fainting spells are unfortunately the norm in their job. Especially now, right before their comeback.
"Is something bothering you? Or are you just exhausted?" Kun's soft voice seems quite distant as it reaches Xiaojun's ears. He cracks his left eye open, peers into the candidly worried face, and decides to close it again.
"I didn't have breakfast this morning," he admits as his stomach churns and his heart flutters. He doesn't mention that he's had almost half a liter of coffee, sober. But on the inside he's verging on a panic attack. He already thinks he can feel every single hair root on his head tingling.
Kun's sudden quiet anger is physically palpable and a blast of heat sweeps over Xiaojun.
"Why is that? I thought we'd had this topic enough times by now, ever since what happened with Xuxi. This is serious, Xiaojun," says Kun angrily, so that even Hendery looks glum, like a dog pinching its tail between its hind legs.
Xiaojun only groans as the trembling in his muscles intensifies, and Kun takes this as a sign to react immediately. He beckons Ten over and instructs him to pay a visit to the snack machine.
"Take all you can get, this kid here is about to pass out."
"Already on my way. Xiaojun, don't fall off your chair," notes Ten matter-of-factly, hurrying away.
"So." Kun's fingers dig awkwardly into Xiaojun's thigh, but he has no strength to protest, instead his limp body melts further into the chair. "Why didn't you eat?"
"Yangyang ate all my granola bars tonight," Xiaojun reveals, instantly feeling like a miserable traitor. But lying to Kun is the worse option, and Yangyang should feel ashamed. Rude, honestly.
Kun's head whirls around as he scans for the criminal. His gaze sharpens as his eyes locate their target. "Liu Yangyang! Get over here right now, young man!" he commands across the room, and Yangyang's face turns as white as a blank canvas. His jaw drops and there is no stirring in his body until Luca's knee nudges him.
Hesitantly, Yangyang stands up and pads toward them in an embarrassed manner, keeping his head lowered. Presumably, he knows what's coming for him now.
"Kun?"
"Is that all you have to say?" Kun snorts and shakes his head.
"What do I have to defend myself against?" Uneasy, Yangyang looks up. "Xiaojun, bro, are you okay?"
Not trusting his voice, Xiaojun merely raises his hand in a pitiful gesture, waving it as if his arm were made of rubber and his bones of Play-Doh.
Kun clears his throat. "You have your own food. Yangyang."
"We've always shared fraternally, Kun."
"Yangyang!"
Yangyang winces under the verbal slap and bites his lower lip.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't know that ... those were just some boring granola bars, really, Xiaojun, make yourself something proper to eat. Like porridge or chicken and rice, or a smoothie, whatever."
Alright, this conversation is taking an unfavorable turn right now.
At that moment, Ten comes back and pushes an almond cranberry bar between Xiaojun's lips in the same breath.
"Eat my child, that you may grow big and strong, and that we may not have to carry you home."
Slowly, Xiaojun starts chewing, grabbing the plastic, and shifting restlessly. Three pairs of eyes, and Hendery, stare at him so intensely that his skin crawls.
"Thank you," he squeezes out softly, and his gaze meets Lucas's, who sends him an encouraging smile. No one likes to hear lectures from Kun and Ten. Especially not from Yangyang, what does that guy think he's doing?
Ten snorts in mock amusement and crosses his arms in front of his chest. "So, you're going to teach him how to cook, Yangyang? That sounds great."
"Please don't. Please don't, I can't be responsible for that." Kun looks genuinely frightened, horror scenario after horror scenario seeming to play out before his eyes. In an endless loop, caught between fire and smoke and burnt eggs.
"Leave it to me." Ten kneels on the other side of Xiaojun's chair, which probably costs less than the organic snack in his hands, and pats his forearm. "First thing in the morning, the lesson starts. Why don't we invite everyone else as well?"
"Only under my supervision. And Yangyang is in the back row." Kun remains unconvinced, but agrees.
"Hey. I'm an adult."
"Physically, yes. Mentally? No."
Yangyang gives Ten a scathing look, and the two wage a war of words over Xiaojun's head, crashing down on him like a tsunami.
A relieved sigh slips from Xiaojun's lips as the sugar does its job and the world stops spinning before his eyes. It doesn't feel like electricity instead of blood is hissing through his veins.
"Can you keep going?" asks Kun.
Xiaojun nods. "Five more minutes."
"Okay." Kun stands up and watches him from inscrutable eyes, but the brotherly concern is still written in them. "Next time please say something earlier, you don't have to torture yourself unnecessarily and play the hero. It won't do any of us any good, least of all you."
"Got it. Thank you." Xiaojun manages to flash Kun a sincere smile this time and the skepticism fades from Kun's features, instead his gaze softens and grows warm.
"You're welcome, Xiaojun." Kun claps his hands."Come on guys, get off your lazy butts, the day has just begun! The early bird catches the worm!"
Just another normal day for WayV.
(In fact, Ten makes good on his promise and the next day there is a free cooking class that broadens the horizons of all the members, especially Yangyang discovers his new passion).